Harlan Ellison: Essay Collections
The Harlan Ellison Hornbook
Reviewed by Nicole Walter
1st Hardcover: Penzler Books, 1990
Reviewed Edition: Penzler Books, 1990
Art Displayed: Logos for original column by Gahan Wilson (above) and Tim Kirk (left)
Dedication:
This one is for
EDDIE LONDON
more than just a friend for twenty-seven years
and for
BILL DIGNIN
whose camraderie stretches back through thirty-eight years to days of youth
in Cleveland
The Langerhans
review
Reviews Description and Spoiler Warning
COMMENTARY
Courage is almost a contradiction in terms. It means a strong desire to live taking the form of a readiness to die. --G.K ChestertonLike it or not, the troublemakers are the ones who make a difference. Even the peaceful ones like Martin Luther King, Churchill, Ghandi, and Jesus. Those are the people who are known. Going against popular opinion is a sure way to become famous.
Or get yourself killed.
Either way, it takes courage, passion, and determination to do what needs to be done. Those people are the ones that get what they desire, be it fame, fortune, love, or peace of mind. Helplessness is only a state of mind. From the essay entitled "Varieties of Venue":
My philosophy of life is that the meek shall inherit nothing but debasement, frustration, and ignoble deaths; that there is security in personal strength; that you can fight City Hall and win; that any action is better than no action, even if it's the wrong action; that you never reach glory or self- fulfillment unless you're willing to risk everything, dare anything, put yourself dead on the line every time; and that once one becomes strong or rich or potent or powerful it is the responsibility of the strong to help the weak become strong.
It takes courage to charge headlong into dangerous situations, to speak out against what everyone else holds sacred, and to have adventures. It also takes courage to be a friend, to let our loved ones go, and to admit one's own mistakes. Hell,
It takes courage to be free from the constraints of society, and to be true to one's own self. It takes courage to cry, to rage, to love, to give to a world that, for the most part, doesn't even care.
It's all about being different, shaking up the status quo, pulling back the illusions, opening the eyes of the masses, revealing the truth when people are screaming, "Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain!". The essayist is the epitome of free speech. In definition,
The essayist takes chances.
The essayist hammers the blinders from your eyes.
The essayist speaks to you in languages you've never heard.
The essayist goes logically from presumption to inescapable truth you refuse to accept.
The essayist won't take anything on faith.
The essayist is a practitioner of guerilla warfare.
(Introduction, The Harlan Ellison Hornbook)
People like being ignorant and lazy. They suck down things like fundamentalist religions, alien abductions, Psychic Hotlines, and televangelists like little kids drinking Kool-Aid, taking in all that sugary sludge, never mind that it rots their ability to think for themselves, so long as it's easy to digest and tastes good. The days of individual thinking are dead, buried, and rapidly decomposing, with only a few to mourn for them. As I read essay after essay, I found myself gawking in amazement. Harlan did (and does) the kind of things I can only imagine doing, spoke out on things I had never dared voice. In all my eighteen years of life, never did I imagine that someone would actually share my views on the evil that is Christmas, and have the courage to say something about it. About halfway through, I was struck with a revelation. Anyone can have an adventure, anyone can make a stand, anyone can overcome challenges. It only takes one thing.
Guts.
I lived with my alcoholic father for nine years. Most of my childhood is a blur, but I remember enough to know that this experience screwed me over big time.
For those that know nothing about alcoholism, denial is the word of the day. Don't speak about it, because it didn't happen. There is nothing wrong here. It's all about going around with closed eyes and making excuses when you bump up against reality. I had my own defenses. I kept my mouth shut. I denied.
I forgot.
Last year, my blindfold was brutally ripped off. I was in a mental hospital, getting treatment for a failed suicide attempt, the same thing I had been treated for a little over two years ago. Somehow I knew, as I sat in that room, that this too would ultimately be for naught. There was something deeper, but what, I could not imagine. I saw myself, my childhood, things I had tossed aside years ago, perhaps hoping that, if I ignored the problem, it would go away on its own.
Well, it didn't.
Finally, after hesitating for months, I realized that I needed to care of these things. So, with encouragement from one of my friends, I attended my first Al-Anon meeting and, at long last, forced myself to come face-to-face with my biggest enemy.
Myself.
All of which took courage, more than I ever imagined I had.
Card number eight in the Rider-Waite tarot deck is named Strength. A woman stands over a lion, the symbol of infinity over her head, calmly closing the fearsome jaws. This card represents the triumph of the human spirit over the baser impulses of rage, jealousy, and fear. And as she forces the fanged maw shut, she stares the beast right in the eye. Doing what one must, in spite of pain. Acting despite terror. Strength.
Contained within this book are stories of courage that will inspire you, unorthodox opinions that will make your blood burn like fire in your veins, tales of loss that will make you rush to tell the ones you love exactly how special they are, but most of all, essays that will make you take a second look at your own perceptions as they expose all previously held notions to the harshest scrutiny. Because in these mad times, nothing is sacred. Nothing at all.
But it's really better that way, isn't it?
The Essays
Installment 1: "Everything I Know About My Father
Synopsis:
Stories about Louis Laverne Ellison, his life and death.
Comments:
I had a hard time with this one, to say the least. I have had three "fathers"
in my life. Biological, whom I know nothing whatsoever about, adoptive, whom
I discussed earlier, and step, which I hate with a fierce passion for a number
of reasons. As I read about the many kindnesses and sacrifices of Louis Ellison,
I couldn’t help but feel hurt and jealous, both in equal measure. Not
everyone is as fortunate as to have a kind and compassionate father. There
are plenty who abuse their children physically, verbally and sexually, more
than most of us would like to admit. Some abuse the position of fatherhood,
while others, like Louis Ellison, honor it.
Valerie
Synopsis:
Presented in three columns--
Part 1: The author finds himself attracted to woman named Valerie, and continues
an off-and-on relationship with her.
Part 2: Valerie makes off with the author’s credit cards. He eventually
confronts her.
Part 3: Harlan Ellison decides to press charges and finally sends her to jail.
Getting Stiffed
Synopsis:
When writers get taken by their own publishers.
The Tyranny Of The Weak, And Some Foreshadowing
Synopsis:
Expecting the people we admire to have some sort of god-like powers, and the
disappointment of finding out that they too are only human.
With Bloch And Bormann In Brazil
Synopsis:
A visit to the Polish Embassy in Rio, and a startling look at the legend of
Nazi war criminal Martin Bormann.
The First Of Three Culinary Comments
Synopsis:
An article on the cuisine at El Palenque, an Argentinian restaurant in L.A.
No Offense Intended, But Fuck Xmas!
Synopsis:
A focus on the hypocrisy, loneliness, and pain of this so-called "joyous
season".
Comments:
As one of the most controversial essays in the Hornbook, it is almost impossible
to not feel strongly one way or the other. Many people, especially the very
religious sort, will hate this essay as coming from the lips of Satan. But
a great deal of others, myself included, will nod in agreement, and thank
whatever god they worship that someone finally had the guts to tell it like
it is. Ask any psychologist and they will tell you that the suicide rates
soar during the Xmas season. And the holidays are hell for the families of
alcoholics, as they give the person a perfect excuse for drinking. Makes the
phrase "Merry Xmas" sort of a contradiction in itself, no?
The Day I Died
Synopsis:
Musings on mortality, and how one’s life can end at any time. Harlan
Ellison tells of the different ways that he might meet his end.
Fair Weather Friends, Summer Soldiers, And Sunshine Patriots
Synopsis:
The trials of being a friend, and the pain of betrayal.
Troubling Thoughts About Godhood
Synopsis: Presented in two parts--
Part 1: The burden of being worshipped, and the insanity of the worshippers.
Part 2: The problems of putting one's friends on a pedestal.
Bless That Pesky Wabbit
Synopsis:
Extolling the virtues of animated films and cartoons in a serious world.
Where Shadows Collide With Reality, A Preamble
Synopsis:
A look at how truth can be as strange as fantasy, and perhaps even more so.
When I Was A Hired Gun
Synopsis:
Presented in two parts--
Part 1: A story from Harlan Ellison’s teenage years, when he was a gofer
and bodyguard for a paranoid neurotic by the name of Al Wilson. He is given
strange errands, odd instructions, and dangerous jobs.
Part 2: Al falls in love, and commissions the author to deliver the girl a
raw steak as a token of his love, then asks him to travel to Cincinnati with
a briefcase handcuffed to his wrist.
A Rare, Kindly Thought
Synopsis:
A snippet of understanding and compassion for the "phonies" of the
world.
3 Small Pleasures For A More Endurable Existence (The Second Of 3 Culinary Comments)
Synopsis:
A review of the movie, "The Legend of Hell House", a Castilian restraunt
called "Juan Jose’s La Masia", and the book "Harlan Ellison:
A Bibliographical Checklist".
Varieties of Venue
Synopsis:
An interesting, and somewhat humorous account of the visitors at Ellison Wonderland,
and the general state of chaos in the Ellison home.
Why I Fantasize About Using An AK-47 On Teenagers
Synopsis:
A look at the apathy and ignorance of the teenage generation.
Comments:
Even though I am a teenager myself, I have to agree with Mr. Ellison. My generation
is flat-out pathetic. The only thing they ever seem to think about is popularity,
fashion trends, and boyfriends or girlfriends. Shallowness, superficiality,
and a frightening lack of concern are the hallmark of this generation. They
worship television, but shudder in terror at the concept of reading a book
just for the enjoyment of it. Insecure, they fear thinking for themselves,
and Athena Herself help them if they ever have to be alone and silent for
a moment! Closed minds and empty heads are the result of our times. Granted,
there are exceptions, but these are few and far between. What ever happened
to the concept of free thinking, of learning rather than ignorance, of being
more than just mediocre? Many, many times I have looked at my peers, and hung
my head in shame, embarrassed to be grouped together with these people.
In Which The Imp Of Delight Tries To Make The World Smile
Synopsis:
A focus on the small joys of everyday life in a world gone to hell.
I Go To Bed Angry Every Night, And Wake Up Angrier The Next Morning
Synopsis:
The many injustices of the world, a direct contrast to "The Imp Of Delight"
Ahbhu
Synopsis:
Harlan Ellison talks about the loss of his beloved dog, Ahbhu.
Comments:
The loss of a pet is probably one of the most painful experiences anyone can
go through. A pet listens when no one else does, a pet loves unconditionally,
and a pet will always be there to cheer you up. It is best friend, child,
and family all in one. And losing that companion hurts like hell. The hardest
part of all this is making the decision to put that animal to sleep. It is
the final acknowledgment that your friend, your pal, is truly sick and in
pain. In a case like this, love carries a heavy burden. On one hand, it ends
the creature’s pain, but it is not easy to let go. Still, let go one
must. This brings about the realization that love is doing what is best, not
what is always the easiest or most pleasant.
Death Row, San Quentin
Synopsis:
Presented in two parts--
Part 1: Harlan Ellison visits killer Ronald Fouquet at San Quentin, and describes
the prison in detail.
Part 2: Harlan meets Ronald Fouquet face-to-face, and gives his impression
of him.
College Days
Synopsis:
Presented in three parts:
Part 1: The author’s short college experience, and how he ended up being
kicked out of Ohio State.
Part 2: The author's fraternity days at OSU, and subsequent expulsion.
Part 3: The story of Don Epstien, who had his dreams killed by the college
system
The Death-Wish Of A Golden Idea
Synopsis:
Harlan Ellison’s futile attempt to see "The Iceman Cometh"
The Last Of Three Culinary Comments, Gonzo-Style
Synopsis:
A somewhat confusing, yet very entertaining review of the "Golden China
Restraunt".
Out Of The Mail Bag
Synopsis:
Harlan Ellison answers some of his "fan mail"
Oh Dear, He’s Not Going to Do Xmas Again, Is He?
Synopsis:
The return of "Fuck Xmas!"
The Death Of My Mother, Serita R. Ellison
Synopsis:
Mrs. Ellison’s death, funeral, and euology
Comments:
"You don’t know what you got till it’s gone" is a quote
that sums up this essay. Indeed, when our loved ones are alive, it is easy
to overlook how special they are to us. Remembering the dead is painful, but
essential for us to do so that we may continue to grow. The loss of a parent
in particular is difficult, because parents, in many cases, are the people
that we have lived with most of our lives, our caretakers, and our teachers,
and when they die, a part of ourselves goes into the grave with them.
Enormous Dumb
Synopsis:
A list of some of the more "simple-minded" movies of our time.
Revealed At Last! What Killed The Dinosaurs! And You Don’t Look So Terrific Yourself
Summary: A part of the infamous "Glass Teat" collection, looking at the destructive effects of television on society and the minds of people.
Stories Review by Nicole Walter
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