Discussion of the man and his work.

Alan
Deadlines = creativity.

Item of Interest for Harlan Ellison?
This was buried in a more elaborate post I made earlier:

"There was a local kiddie show in New York called, "Joya's Fun School" and later "Time For Joya", which started in 1970 and it was hosted by Joya Sherrill (who just passed away last month at the age of 85). She invited Duke Ellington to appear on her show and it turned out to be one of his last appearances on TV. The video is long gone, but the audio does exist, albeit not in the highest of fi, but there is good fi to be had. She sings, "My People" to Ellington's accompaniment and later Ellington playfully mangles the story of "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" while playing a bit of "Ko-Ko" underneath.

If you are interested, I can send you a CD of this performance."

Also, with Susan's permission:

"MMMMMMM-MWAH!"

Ummm...It's probably better if I leave that stuff to Mary.

Brian Phillips

Harlan's Back!
I was about to add some comments about this and that when I saw something that made my week...

Nice to have you back, Unca Harlan.

Now what the hell was I going to say?

Eh, it'll come later...but this is for you Harlan...(with Susan's permission...)

MMMWAAAh!

Now to remember what it was I was going to say...I'll get my memory back somehow.

A tip of the hat ; to creativity.

Hello Harlan,I was wondering if over the years you have resorted to systems of prompting creativity when facing times or instances of dead ideas that just are not working and not certain how to save a path or direction of an idea or plot that has merit just not now or then when attempting? I recently read a bio on the late John Cage and Merce Cunningham and they used a variety of "System Logics". I believe Edward Debono wrote many books on the subject of prompting creativity.If you have time I just wondered.

Yr.Pal always,Alan Schneider

Riding the Rails
I think it's an introduction for the script of the Discarded

But what do I know

OK, I'm completely intrigued: what exactly is this 'Riding the Rails in Atlantis' we're hearing smidgeons and snippets about here and there? Fact? Fiction? Faction? Sorry if I missed a memo. Commissioned or just being done out of, well, having to do it? Que?

Sounds good, Harlan.

ah, ahem...
WORLD WAR I. Word War I? Hmmm...

Harlan Ellison, Punning Linguist
Ya hey dere, welcome back, Harlan, "Amuck" ... you are the above!

* Reconditioning a somewhat old Chicago Daily News article about HE attending The Space Circus sci-fi entertainment expo at the Chicago Amphiteatre in June 1976. Should be "cooler than a crossword puzzle" very soon and sent to The Ellison Archive via HERC. Workin' it. Missed that expo, but later smoked some fatties and attended British band Yes -- in the round. Circular slowly rotating "Lazy Susan" stage. Oh, wow! 360 degrees, man ... Said article states this, regarding Harlan:

"Across the back of his robe were the words:


"DON'T BUG ME."


* AMPARION (apologies to JERRY MAGUIRE): "you had me right from the word "dirigible." Protect those Anarchist Exposition ideas. Folks will want to steal them. Helium, yes, after the Hindenburg disaster. "Better than a load of hot air!"
You have me returning to THE BANQUET YEARS: THE ORIGINS OF THE AVANT GARDE IN FRANCE - 1885 TO WORD WAR I by Roger Shattuck and A NOMAD OF THE TIMESTREAMS by Michael Moorcock.

* UNREPENTANT: great inspired title / a latent image, Harlan. It develops ... Only 300 copies?

A great weekend to all.

It looks like kids are more altruistic than we might have thought:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Oh71h8be-I

Conservatives push competition into the mix and that's how you get the overacheiving, egotistical mook, that will later piss you off when they spout bile on Fox news.

Competition is what makes a child's natural altruism bend south.

Collective sharing is the way. Yahwah loves us.

--------------

Amperion, pish.

Dear Chris:--Don't worry about the postage. Your package will be mailed out to NSW today.

Dear Sven: Your package will also be mailed out to Germany today.

Kind regards--Susan

I’m not sure why, but I find this one of the funniest things I’ve seen. I share with you all.

http://www.emergencyyodel.com/

Mike

And, oh yeah --


UNCA HARLAN:

Great to see your back.

Even better to see your front.

(See, that wasn't a typo.)

Just another rant

Guys,

Some of you might get a kick out of my latest American Currents blog post, rendered on the subject of WikiLeaks and the Afghanistan war -- all wars, really -- in determined ignorance of the latest developments, whatever they may be:

http://www.americancurrents.com/2010/07/wikeleak-and-same-old-same-old-of-war.html

Typewriter Question
Greetings All and Sundry.

Been away for a while dealing with a family medical issue that, sadly, resulted in the dreaded convalescent home for someone, and it was extremely nerve wracking.

My daughter is a real pip. She's eleven, going on thirty in some ways, but still eight in others. She gets a kick out of what she describes as technology from "the olden days", meaning clothes drying racks, etc. Part of this is my doing, as I've had them watching classic films for a long time (my kids are probably among the very few who can tell you about Rear Window and the original King Kong). Recently my eight year old son said to his grandfather "Don't you know who Clark Gable is??".

Any hoo, the other day my daughter requested an "old fashioned" typewriter. Not electric. Not a word processor, but an honest to goodness key clunker. She proceeded to mime the typing movements and sliding the carriage bar to make her point.

I'm wondering if anyone here can recommend a good model, and more importantly where supplies like ribbons can purchased? Any information is appreciated of course.

-Dennis

ps: I'm very glad that Mr. Ellison has poked his nose back in. I hope it'll be for a long time to come.

That Sinatra thang
Wonderful to see our host back here. Hurrah!
In other news, boingboing.net have just posted a link to the website Cool Tools' '100 greatest long-form magazine articles ever published'... and in the top five is 'Frank Sinatra Has a Cold' by Gay Talese.
www.boingboing.net
http://www.kk.org/cooltools/the-best-magazi.php
Cheers!
Jes

World Enough And Time
That's okay Frank, I hold you in utter contempt also.

Harlan enjoys you, and most of us tolerate you It helps knowing you enjoy playing the troll.

I recall my confusion at five or so, when I was carted off Sundays AM to a Baptist Sunday school in Gardena, a then working class white suburb of Los Angeles. We spent the morning learning Bible tales and so on, standard Sunday school stuff. Meanwhile my mom was in the church. In my five year old fashion I puzzled out the hierarchy: Sunday School was somewhat like Kindecgarten, which I was either in or jrecently sprung from, and the Church was akin to the rest of the Elementary School, where you got to mix with the Big Kids and not be in a caged off separate area where you played with blocks the size of basketballs.

So imagine my wonder when one Sunday all of the Sunday Schoolers were told they were going to get to go to the Big Church and see how that worked.

It was explained to me that the Big Churchit was God's House, and I took it literally. I remember wondering what He would look like, and once we had suffled in to our portion of the building, craning my neck to see over the pews and the huge pile of flowers gathered before the podium altar leccern thingy where the minister must have been. All I knew was this huge voice was booming out some stuff about this and that, and I could not SEE the guy talking, but it must be God Himself I thought in my five year old way. I was terribly frustrated I could not see who it was.

It was somewhere about that same time that I got my first toy gun, a plastic, battery powered Grease Gun style sub-machine gun with a red piece of plastic thatwould move back and forth in the "muzzle" while a tinny speaker made "ack ack ack| sounds.

I got that machine gun one Sunday after church, maybe as a reward for graduating from Sunday School kinds' sorta'.

Anyway, my view of Jews has been colored by two faactors: that Sunday School made a big deal about the Israelites and we learned more Old Testament stuff than New. Jews were like heroes in all those stories. They were always slaying Bad Dudes, and generally being righteous and holy.

Then, about the same time, my dad's older sister, the only aunt or uncle that had followed him to the Gold Fields of Califoria Aerospace from the cornfields of Missouri, married a Jew about that time. Did that bother me? Are you kiding?!

He had actually been a macnine gunner on a B-17 and had a wound he showed me in his leg when we went swimming at the Blue Dolphin Swim School the day I got my Minnow Cetificate.

You have no idea how cool that was to a war movie infatuated five year old in the fifties, who had a National Guard Armory down the street from his front yard where he could look through the cyclone fence at real tanks and halftracks and cannons, and dream about killing Nazis jand (excuse me, it was the Fifties) "Japs"!

So I looked on Jews as a hero race. Of course this all mixed in with the heroic view of the modern Israelis common in the Western world until about 1970. It was liberally hip all through the Sixties to support Israel and sing Hava Naghila around the campfire. That's all forgotten now.

Just like no one knows that the Fabian Socialists that founded the Labour Party were Imperialists. One purpose of raising the living standards of the British peoples was to make them a "Race Fit For Empire!" In other words, let's raiase up a breed of healthy Brit's properly equipped physically, mentally, spiritually and morally to go out and settel the hash of all little brown and yellow people and teach them how to wear pants and behave like proper folk.


In a hundred or so years there's a lot we think of as prim and proper that will horrify our grandkids. It'll even probably be cool to be white.

Again.

Apropos of the ethnic slantins' here in the recent threads, the Shirley Sherrod news has rekindled an important point about all discourse on race or culture: it should never be without historical context, which otherwise sanitizes the issues thereby losing the empathy from most listeners.

It was a good reminder for myself as well.

Dear Susan,

I am afraid that I posted a check for the books and posters and somehow missed placing a stamp on the envelope. As it hasn't returned to me I must assume it will arrive with "postage due"!
I am terribly embarrassed and will drop another envelope in the post filled with stamps dipped in apologies. Luckily, I'm traveling in the U.S. so at least it's not international mail.

Thanks and please accept my apologies.

On the subject of Riding The Rails... I have read a chunk of the thing (a small one, I hope), and it's as close to an autobiography as we'll ever get. And that's not a putdown. It's goddam BETTER than an autobiography. You'll have to wait and see what I mean, but I suspect you'll agree. It's just groovy, and I'd say that even if my name didn't pop up in it from time to time (although not enough.)


On another front, Harlan has instructed me to tell you all that I am Solomonic in my judgement.

So:

I am Solomonic in my judgement.

Have a nice day.

On The Road With Ellison Volume Four
arrived today! woot!

There is a new documentary out called HUGH HEFNER: PLAYBOY, ACTIVIST AND REBEL. It looks to be much more DREAMS WITH SHARP TEETH than THE GIRLS NEXT DOOR. It's directed by Brigitte Berman who won an Oscar for her documetary of Artie Shaw. Should be interesting.

Harlan's post: FRANK CHURCH ASKED ME ...
THIS is why I come back here almost daily, and am gladgladglad that the Interboogers didn't drive our host away forever. It's also why I don't post more often my own self; chalk it up to feelings of verbal and conceptual inadequacy.

Holy shit, sir - well said.

Buy Crom!
Mr. Perry, I'm not surprised that your relationship with Conan proved remunerative. My grandmother always told me that Cimmerians were good with money.

Susan, thnak you so much, my order arrived yesterday and looks tremendous. Thank you for all of your hard work on the Purge

Steve Perry, now that you mention it Conan did look kind thew-ish (very nice, sir, a tip of the hat to you)

Harlan, I need to tweak you a little bit, as someone who has a copy of the Phenomenon of Man in his library, it is Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (I still owe ya for calling me an anti-semite on the phone a few years ago)

All the best,

Mark

The J-word
Back when I was writing whatever I could get my hands on to make up for a loss of income when my wife wanted to be a consultant and left her well-paying job, I took on a series of novels featuring R.E. Howard's best-known creation, Conan the Barbarian.

Yes, Virginia, before the Governator swung his aluminum blade onscreen, there were a slew of books and stories about the lad from Cimmeria, and some well-known writers who stooped to pen them.

It was clean work, I sometimes tried to sneak in quotes from T.S. Elliot's The Wasteland, which my editor nearly always caught, and it paid some bills. Conan the College Tuition for my Son; Conan the Income Taxes; and my favorite, Conan the Hot Tub.

Howard, a product of Texas in an era not known for openness in regard to women, colored folks, and Jews, was fairly racist, sexist, and followed the anti-Semite views of the day in his writing.

Naturally, being more enlightened myself, I didn't go down those roads, but I confess that I took a certain pleasure when I ventured out in public to speak at assorted gatherings to now and then refer to the brawny Conan as "thew-boy."

It was always fun to look around the room to see who got the joke and smiled, and who didn't and frowned ...

Perry

Beyond the Pale

"I have utter contempt for white people"

Love you too Frank. Yes, we're responsible for the destruction of western civilization. Every one of us hates brown people, and find ways to keep them down.

You've caught us.

BTW - Very constructive approach if I might say so.

Kenneth, that was a bit of a bugfuck view you just spewed, but I will leave it at that since Harlan needs his sleep and it also gives our Susan a gift, a fair woman who had to get paper cuts and tape burns from wrapping those gifts to you greedy gusses who I love so.

---------

Harlan, that was pretty dead on. We see the world a bit different, but me likes.

Allah, Jesus, they really do weep for this world.

I have utter contempt for white people, since they are the scourge of the planet and evolutionary mistakes. Yea, my people are the real enemy. Other groups just crib off their criminal cheat sheets. A shame.

I am happy, I just don't smile all the time like Cindy. That girl needs help.

---------

Cindy, I'm tellin the pastor on you. Such a tart tongue.

Love ya gal.

That back issue we should be able to get.
--
I rarely buy script books (who doesn't prefer actual scripts) but with TWO introductions (at least one of them now quite long) you are putting me in a difficult spot. Is Frakes involved? I can see him providing footnotes. "Not surprisingly, Harlan Ellison refused to take directions in this scene. Someone had just told him I learned to direct on Star Trek, and he was fuming."
--
The NY Times has a full article on Alan Moore's latest projects
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/07/27/books/27moore.html

Good news
Great news that Harlan has returned. My withdrawal symtoms were reaching critical mass.

Should I have failed to mention it......
Welcome back, Harlan! The place just wasn't the same without ya!

Susan, I received the remainder of my The Great Ellison Book Purge order. Thank you very much! Check will be mailed ASAP.

David

He's back!
Well, Harlan, when you return, you RETURN! Nice to have you back, baby.

FRANK CHURCH ASKED ME ...
"Harlan, do you think I'm anti-Semitic?"

Straight, no bullshit, Frank; here's your answer. People will take from it what they will. I respond straight, no bullshit.

Do I think you're anti-Semitic?

My instincts, and reading you strictly off your postings over a substantial period of time, is that no, you're not anti-Semitic.

But the truth of it, Frank kiddo, is that I really don't give a fuck, one way or the other.

Look, Frank, I think there is as strong a sub-current of anti-Semitism, even fanatical AryanNaziBigotKike-Bashing in this fair nation of ours, as ever was. I don't think most people, basically decent people, also are anti-Negro, anti-Immigrant, anti-anything but whatever they fancy their "chosen people" group to be. I think that undercurrent exists--Glenn Beck lives--but it ain't Politically Correct to say "he tried to Jew me down" in mixed company.

I think it is impossible, realistically, to be an American and NOT have those subcutaneous, noxious prejudices. As Tielhard de Jardin said, "We struggle daily to ascend to the light."

I'm no better or different from the rest of you. I racially profile, I urban-legend too many of the opprobria, I am no more pure in deed or attitude than the kindest-hearted of you, and it's you'n'me in the same canoe, Frank.

That said, I tell you straight that I like the cut of your jib, and I do not for an instant believe that you would let some Faginlike hook-nosed yarmulke-wearing jewboy drown if you could grab him and get him into the canoe with you. I assert that I'm not talking about THIS jewboy. Some OTHER jewboy. I do not perceive you, via my gut's radiograms to my brain, as a Jew-Hater, AKA, anti-Semite.

And THAT said, I think you DO HAVE blindingly concretized problems with Zionism, Israel, the pro-Israel liaisons of this country, and trail-drifts from that position to a good many specific day-to-day outrages by, and to, Israel. I share those concerns.

Look, shweetheart, you asked me.

You've heard my stance on all this many times. I think they're ALL bugfuck, every nation or wannabe nation in that daisy-chain.
I think the kindly and generous Jehovah and Allah sit up there just shaking their heads and weeping at the cheap animosities that make this possibly-bearable world a flaming hell of "true believers" shouting death at one another.

Ugh.

I'm sermonizing. Don't get me started. You asked a simple question, and in answering, or TRYING to answer, simply and without permitting any drift for the inevitable internet lack of tonality & nuance, I have drifted and lost nuance.

You ask me a direct question: do I think you're an anti-Semite, or anti-Semitic, or however exactly you put it, and my answer is this:

I don't give a shit, Frank. I liked your sidewise persona when first you came on, and others wanted to rend you. I lobbied for forbearance because you were being you. It made me smile.

I'm a Jew, and both of us know that, and I still swing full-reach when some asshole uses the equivalent of "Well, you know how THOSE people are..." within my hearing. None of that, my tic-detector advises me, has anything to do with whether you object to Jews or not, son. I truly couldn't get a thistle more unseated by your secret, or subcutaneous, or alleged prejudices. When you go on at length about that day's outrage, I sigh and think, damn...I wish Frank were happier.

I like you; I smile at the way you see the world; I have no true
idea if you're anti-Semitic, or nigger-baiting, or latino-negative, or anything else. So far your opinions have been submitted in a clearly-obsessed but not punishable way and, since I am a Jew by birth and am pleased at whatever part of that pleases me, we both know I'm a stiff-naked Jewish Atheist, and I think Allah or Jehovah or Buddha or Hanuman, or Whichever Is In Charge, ought to just slap ALLA them tunnel-visioned, possibly meanspirited muthuhfuggahs upside they headbones.

Short of a longer reply than this s.i.m.p.l.e. response, you need not bore me with the "yeah, buts" or suchlike. Just take yes&no&I dunno as answer, and let me get some sleep.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

JAN / EU

Is it at all possible for you to obtain for us that Polish packaging of "The Discarded" tv adaptation? Josh will be coming over tomorrow or Friday, to read the first 12,000 words of "Riding the Rails in Atlantis" -- my part of our dual intros to the book of THE DISCARDED -- and I wouldn't mind mentioning your alert as a footnote.

Instant remuneration, as per usual.

Hopefully, Yr. Pal, Harlan

REPLY TO MAT MACKENZIE


Thank you...yes, of course, you silly goose, I know that THE ONION (as is the case with virtually every other published periodical in the world since the beginning of the 20th Century) sells back issues. I'm old, not senile. But it was a good and kindly-meant halloo, and so I smile down at you from a Solomonic Height, and assure you that the first place I went for the July 1st issues I want...was THE ONION 800-number to obtain said incunabula.

Guess what, tootsie? Sold out. Nada available.

But you're sweet to suggest it. Oh, and thank your mother for the chicken soup.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

Well HELL yes!
Glad as fuck that you are back, Boss.

Sorry for the gutter speak-- but my delight
at your return overrode the governor between
my brain and my fingers.

It's so good to see you.

:)
ohhhh ---- I promised to give up the smiley faces
if you came back. I can't help but smile.
Welcome home, Harlan.
: /
yer old pal,
Cindy

The Anti-Semitic Question
“Do you think I am anti-Semitic?” Frank Church asks Harlan Ellison.

He knows that by posing that question here he in effect asks all of us our opinion on the matter, so here is my non-answer.

Frank, you spend an inordinate amount of time on this website discussing how abominably the Israelis treat the Palestinians.

No doubt you are correct about this. However, should Tel Aviv ever take its boot off the Palestinians’ necks, the latter would immediately rise up and do the same, and probably worse, to the Israelis. (I have no doubt that the Israelis regard the slow-motion destruction of Zimbabwe’s once-dominant white minority as an instructive example.)

The second smartest thing I ever heard anybody say about that arid clusterfuck we call the Middle East was Harlan Ellison’s call to build a 26-mile-high wall around the place and check in every ten years or so to see if the inhabitants had at last come to their senses.

But the very smartest thing of all was what a Palestinian grocer whose shop is just down the street once said to me: “Palestinians gotta live. Israelis gotta live. Everybody gotta make a deal.”

You, alas, have failed to display similar perspicacity. Although you have no conceivable chance of influencing the outcome in even the minutest way, you nonetheless continue to take sides in a distant conflict bound to continue for decades, maybe centuries, even though your meaningless stance sways absolutely nobody, angers some, and bores the hell out of the rest. Best of luck with that.

As for myself, I like what Tolkien’s Treebeard the Ent said when asked which side he was on: “I am not altogether on anybody’s side, because nobody is altogether on my side.”

Kristian,

I think that was a really well-articulated "rant"; you laid out the anatomy.

While on the subject of product-dominance, this country is strengthening the prospect of Republicans actually re-claiming the House, DESPITE all the landscape laid bare by the last 10 years!

If this happens, we will see so many regulatory measures repealed that the COKE bottle will become a chalice. Dumb voters - again, opening the door to policies detrimental to their own interests - will see trusts wipe out what little remains of competition, along with wages that meet the cost of living, and more jobs outsourced overseas. The Constitution will be bendayed in plastic. Without regulatory oversight, popularizing any product will be a cinch, regardless of the possible health hazards.

This deviates from your own point, but it's biggest concern of my own right now. That's MY rant, and I don't mind blaring it out!

**FAR more importantly, however...Frank is a HEINOUS anti-Semite!!

Laurie,

"If someone, like Palin, gets a lot of news coverage, they assume she must be worth something."

Very true, but we can blame advertising for this. It used to be that a product was marketed with claims of how good it was at doing whatever it is that it did, which slowly progressed into "9 out of 10 ***Insert Authority Figures Here*** prefer Brand X because..." where they would finish the endorsement by talking about the quality of the product, albeit more briefly than before. Eventually, the message was distilled even further towards what we have today: This product is the best because the most people like it!

It's a hideous, circular sort of logic that folks choose to accept rather than wrestle with the cognitive dissonance nibbling away at the back of their minds. It's the old "how to get experience without a job / how to get a job without experience" nugget, and it works in advertising:

How does a new product get to be popular, when popularity alone is what sells the product? People know it's all smoke and mirrors and that popularity is manufactured by advertisers, but they're willing to buy into the sham because it's easier to let someone else sort the wheat from the chaff than it is for consumers to do their own exhaustive research and come to informed conclusions. People know they're being exploited and manipulated, but they willingly buy into it because it's just easier than fighting.

Even when anti-popularity segments of the population begin to come together and grow into a larger body resistant to manipulation, the advertising industry simply adapts and tilts the message - and the contrarians buy into it. The Coca-Cola Company, for instance, used Sprite to run a great anti-marketing campaign a few years back that successfully exploited people with a desire to believe they're unique and above advertising. With the slogan "Image is nothing. Thirst is everything." Sprite managed to use marketing to convince enormous swaths of people that marketing is bad, and that drinking Sprite was the only antidote - and they sold a lot of soda along the way.

Enter the Internet, where the quality and visibility of anything and everything is determined completely by popularity: This page has the Most Hits, this article is the Most Viewed, this video has the Most Comments, etc... People surfing around the Net like to believe themselves far above simple marketing, even as they willingly allow their browsing habits to be entirely dictated by popularity, right down to the search results they get back from Google. The most popular pages go on top while the less popular sites get squashed to the bottom. And, in a bizarre inversion of logic, it's usually the smart stuff that gets hidden in the dark and dirty corners of the net, while simple pap easily digested by the plodding minds of jellyheads and shoelickers rises to the surface.

Slowly, we work our way down the ladder to the bottom, where quality is determined entirely by popularity, which is gained by mining the lowest common denominator. Eventually, the King of the World is the guy with the funniest nutshot on YouTube while the rest of us just scratch ourselves and wonder when we'll be famous, too.

....

Wow, I didn't actually mean to go into rant mode there. You have my apologies. I just kind of got going and forgot to stop.

-Kristian

Frank, as the Pharaoh's master road builder said to Pharaoh a few days after the Exodus when they were strolling round the pyramids one morning, "boy, this sure is some well-traveled ground, isn't it?"

No one thinks you're antisemitic, Frank. Don't worry about it.

Frank...
Frank, thanks for commenting. I agree with you about mediocrity being common and accepted. I am not so sure people actually love it; it's just that most people are not exposed to the good stuff much. It's kind of like people who have never tasted anything above the McDonald's level of cooking. Some people lack the experience and/or imagination to realize there is anything better. If someone, like Palin, gets a lot of news coverage, they assume she must be worth something.

And, I thought I might point out, even on this board where conspiracy theories are often debunked, it is extremely questionable whether more than two or three people at that Jonestown disaster ever drank any Koolaid laced with poison. The autopsies indicated gunshot wounds. I know it's become an iconic event and point of reference for situations in which people behave in stupid self destructive ways but most of it may have happened quite differently than the orginal, very sensational, news reports told us at first.

A serious question. Harlan, do you think I am anti-semitic?

Unca Harlan! Great to see ya again (manly hug)!

For those of us who are attending MadCon, could we maybe possibly choose a place to meet up? I'd love to put flesh on these wordy skeletons...and Harlan & Susan, if you'd like to join us, that would be ok, toooo...

Welcome back, Harlan. Thank you for being willing to share your thoughts, observations and jokes with this tiny little corner of the admittedly sometimes awful Internet.

Very much looking forward to seeing you again at MadCon in September (and for those of you in the Pav who are not attending, ya should; this is shaping up to be a helluva event, and will be Harlan's last Con appearance, according to him)

All the best,

Mark

Did anyone else notice Harlan has Oz and Kansas mixed up?
--
I thought some more about putting links here after the objections. The reality is that I'm the type who likes to share. I'm going to post fewer items and make extra sure they contain no hidden thorns. I'll no longer catch all the good American ones and hope other people have an eye on them too.

In case I didn't mention it at the time, The Discarded (TV) was packaged with a computer magazine in Poland in 2008. http://www.dodatkidogazet.pl/film/rid,5836,dd,odrzuceni.html

Correcting something I reported last week: The new Italian "Hot Blood" is culled from the first three American "Hot Bloods".

Erik, new DWST rip: http://www.xrel.to/movie/62113/Harlan-Ellison-Dreams-With-Sharp-Teeth.html
http://www.xrel.to/movie-nfo/219175/Harlan-Ellison-Dreams-With-Sharp-Teeth-2008-DOCU-NTSC-DVDR-MADE.html

Tim O'Reilly (of O'Reilly Media) has used a quote from Harlan in his keynote at Oscon 2010 (Open Source Convention) in Portland. It was this: !the bottom line of what I've rambled on about here... (is) to tell you that as night approaches we are all aliens, down here on this alien Earth. To tell you that not Christ nor man nor governments of men will save you. To tell you that writers about tomorrow must stop living in yesterday and work from their hearts and their guts and their courage to tell us about tomorrow, before all the tomorrows are stolen away from us. To tell you no one will come down from the mountain to save your lily-white hide or your black ass. God is within you. Save yourselves. "Otherwise, why would you have traveled all this way . . . just to be alone?"
O'Reilly thinks that (paraphrase) "the human condition is a social one and our technologies should help us build a response to oncoming crisis that's based in that humanity."
http://www.readwriteweb.com/archives/interview_with_tim_oreilly_on_privacy_global_crises.php

What Neil Gaiman is up to: "Just as the draft of Anansi Boys was handed in, the word came down from the powers behind Doctor Who that I was going to have to do another draft." (blog)

The Onion sells back issues.
Hello there--

I'm a regular lurker here and (I think) first-time poster. I've been reading Harlan Ellison since coming across (I think it was) Deathbird Stories in the library in, let's call it, the third grade, and have enjoyed the living crap out of hearing his voice here. So, from someone you've never met, even virtually: welcome back and I hope you're as happy about your return as the rest of us.

The Onion sells back issues, in case all the Blue Monkeys have already used their July 1 editions to line their cages. They do mention a two-week lead time. I've never used this service but it looks routine enough.

http://store.theonion.com/product/back-issue,350/

A possible welcome back gift for Harlan - Rare Duke Ellington
First, let me apologize.

I did what I could to welcome you back, so I apologize for the following:

The portraits that I did of both of you did not go as planned. I tried to have my assistants deliver them as carefully as possible, but the serving pans were still hot and SOMEone forgot their oven mitts. That'll teach me not to use lasagna as media, but believe you me, it did look like both of you when it came out of the oven. I was also able to explain to most of the neighbors that the resultant shrieks of pain were distant hot-rodders. The local constabulary took a dimmer view.

Do you know of a good ant/pigeon repellent? Let's call that an unrelated question.

The 3 meter-high blinking grail was supposed to read, "To the Writer of Night of Black Glass", but the G and the L in the last word got damaged in shipping. Please find some comfort, cold though it may be, that this will not look out of place considering one of the Valley's cottage industries, but I fear you may take this as a flippant swipe at a story that I greatly enjoyed. Such is not the case and if you unscrew the base, you can remove the 3 "D" cells, which will stop the blinking, but if any ships crash in San Pedro as a result, on your head be it.

All this to say that after trying to add some pizazz to your return (RETURN! I need to cancel the howdah rental AND phone the L.A. Zoo), I came across the least elaborate of my presents, which is this:

There was a local kiddie show in New York called, "Joya's Fun School" and later "Time For Joya", which started in 1970 and it was hosted by Joya Sherrill (who just passed away last month at the age of 85). She invited Duke Ellington to appear on her show and it turned out to be one of his last appearances on TV. The video is long gone, but the audio does exist, albeit not in the highest of fi, but there is good fi to be had. She sings, "My People" to Ellington's accompaniment and later Ellington playfully mangles the story of "Goldilocks and the Three Bears" while playing a bit of "Ko-Ko" underneath.

If you are interested, I can send you a CD of this performance.

Jumbo? Jumbo NO!,
Brian Phillips

Harlan, on memory loss, I live by the mantra of not worrying if I've forgotten where I've misplaced my car keys, but I will take pause when I've forgotten what those keys are supposed to do! Nice having you around these parts again and thanks for the personalizations.

Just have to ask about THAT one!
Fuck the one a day rule, this is the exception I was made for.

EXACTLY when, and in what context, did the more than substantial girth and hefty consistency of my merrymaker come up?

And was Cindy involved in this conversation?

Not that she would know...

Just curious.

I'm also very glad to see Mr. Ellison back here. I had meant to post a small observation last week, but as usual never got 'round to it. But, better late than never!
Both Scottish Iains who visit here are around the same age and - probably unknown to Iain in Dumfries - we grew-up a few miles from each other in roughly the same social circumstances. So is it not rather amazing that one the people we both respect so much is a certain author who lives over ten thousand miles away! I believe that this must surely be proof of the STATURE of Harlan Ellison as an exceptional man as well as writer. I know it is a limited sampling - thought I should add this for all the Steve Perrys out there - but I'm sticking by my observation.

Thanks so very much for being such a positive influence Harlan.

Cheers, Iain.

Now that we are all friends again....
I’m floored. Really. The fact that Harlan Ellison is talking to the Forum again (and in a potential way, maybe me) makes me really happy. I attribute HE for inspiring me to shoot higher in life, to do something that fuels my self esteem, to aspire to creative accomplishments no matter in what form. A slave job provides funds, but at what cost...I woke up one day, forty one years old, and I had played by all the rules. Attended college, procured a safe job with a large corporation, grasped the 401K retirement. On my forty first birthday I saw my future. It was very clear and reasonable, and bleak. Twenty more years of slave labor, in a job which I hated, that made other people rich! My reward would be a modest retirement. I would be sixty some years old at that point in time, ready finally to enjoy my recompense for forty years of painful service. My precious lifetime prize!

Way to old to fuck, for sure. And too late to have the kind of fun that I embrace.

And like Bukowski said, there is nothing worse than too late.

So screw that plan.
I called bullshit on that.
I took a severance, instead of relocating to Arizona.
I cashed in my 100 Thousand Dollar Retirement Fund. Oh No!!!!! The Tax Penalty!!!!
I explored my creative side for two years, and I’m still going strong. I’ve made much progress, and I’m fucking poor now, but I’m happy. And I’m writing.

At my lowest point, I saw Harlan’s documentary, “Dreams with Sharp Teeth” and I was rejuvenated. I owe Harlan a debt for his honesty in that film and for his generous responses to my questions in this Forum.

I have a problem with anger and rage, especially when drunk, which is often, especially at night. I post here, and people react in a reasonable manner, and I have a tendency to react to them in an unreasonable manner. So be it. I will try to maintain a more civilized persona in these days of The Harlan Return.

Tim Raven

p.s. whatever your name is, I forget, I’m sure my dick is far bigger than Amparion’s….
(LOL….that was a joke, see, chill out, Webderlanders….)

p.s. no, actually it really is bigger…..

Little People
Some years ago I worked at Disneyland in a rather non-descript behind the scenes job. My office was next door to the "Character" department. That's the people who walk about the park in any of several costumes representing Disney animated characters. They employ a number of little people, who in many cases have portrayed certain characters for years as their lifes work. One fellow, gifted with particularly short and bandy legs, was the Go To Guy for Donald Duck. He just looked perfect in that costume, with a waddle to his walk that was uncannily ducklike.

He was a Tiny Terror of a Ladies Man. Unconfirmed rumor was he used his short stature to look up each and every skirt as the opportunity presented when ladies sought to have their photo taken with Donald. His height was also perfect when giving "hugs" to cop a feel.
e
All of four feet tall, he drove a muscle car, especially equipped with built up pedals and raised seat with extensions on all the various controls. He would tear around the parking lot burning rubber as he arrived and departed. At a Mexican restaurant across from the main entrance he would often hold court before and after work, slamming down teuila shots and hitting on everything female. You could often find him in the men's room, getting rid of some beer and tequila, literally standing ON the crapper, singing at the top of his lungs some vulgar version of a Disney Ditty as he aimed a massive stream in the general direction of the bowl. I particularly remember one memorable evening when ho concocted a supremely filthy version of "Some Day My Prince Will Come".

Some Little People know how to party, and get more than their share.

Chicks dig 'em.

It's kind of like the (male) Vegas bookmaker who, on a 100,00 dollar bet/dare. got C cup breast implants. The cocktail waitresses who shunned him suddenly were in line for a shot at The Man With Hundred Thousand Dollar Breasts.

Between the sheets, Novelty rules.

HARLAN wrote: ""Because," I answer, falling apart again, "their feet can't reach the pedals.""

Water out the nose. Yup, Harlan's back.


soggy shagin

Courtesy of the Neatorama, Steven M. Johnson tosses around the notion (in good fun, but having read "Along The Scenic Route" we all KNOW where this road leads... no pun intended) of "Toll Roads for Legalized Car Wars":

http://www.neatorama.com/2010/07/27/toll-roads-for-legalized-car-wars/

Welcome back Harlan!

Australian cave tours in Klingon (cos obviously Aussie caves are hotbeds of fake alien activity); believe THIS if you will:

http://www.breitbart.com/image.php?id=CNG.881847b583a154c7a8641367ae42ac48.f1&show_article=1&catnum=9&ch=BNImagesOdd

Welcome back Harlan. Knew you wouldn't let the trolls under the electronic information bridge trip-trap on your nerves for too long.

I can hear them even now...
...those MGM lot lizards of laster-lore, beholding to theirselves a diminutive movie extra, and subvocalizing, "How interesting, a tiny man."

ba-DING!
Rick

welcome back, Unk.

Heretofore, I fear I'll be thinking "Munchkin", only to WONDER how the hell this is going to affect my sex life.

LOOK at this: I'm already getting fantasies about Dennis Kucinich!!

If I wind up in jail, YOU'RE gonna hear from me!

That would be, of course, a 1939 Muck, with wire wheels and a fox-tail hanging from the buggywhip antenna.

-he

NOSE--TWITCH #2

I got about halfway to Kristian Bland's and Scott McKinley's WelcomeBacks, and somehow, strangely strangely, I found I was having difficulty keeping a thin, viscous fluid from fogging my vision. I could never really understand why, if one had the option to abide in a place such as Oz, one would feel so good coming back to Kansas.
--------------------------------------------------------------
I need as many copies as anyone can locate for me, of the two-weeks-ago July 1st-dated "patriotism issue" of THE ONION. If you have the item lying about, ready to be tossed after reading, could you send it to me at the usual HERC address?
Please do not be bashful letting me know what recompense!
--------------------------------------------------------------
I had a thought yesterday.

Susan and I were mulling that half-true, half-exaggerated real bit of semi-argumentable movie history, featuring the large number of Small Persons hired to be Munchkins, who are alleged to have "run amuck" on the MGM lot and surrounding Culver City. In particular, the oft-repeated assertion that the males would attack (usually very tall, if you believe the tales) women.

And I said to Susan something along the lines of, "I doubt any of those impeccable, distinguished Little Gentlemen had to harrass regular citizens. Maybe it happened, maybe not, but those Munchkins HAD to be getting hit on ENDLESSLY! I cannot imagine a woman who wouldn't, for however fleeting a moment, think about having sex with a Little Person, or midget, or dwarf, or whatever is PC now...the same way hundreds of women thought about--and did have--sex with Kareem and Shaq and other basketball yetis skyscrapering up there. Big dick, little dick, average-size dick, Moby...whatever."

So Susan thunk on that, and we went our ways here in the manse.

And my deranged mind continued along that line.

And I began to laugh till I had to sit down, in the corridor, making such a snarfling racket that Susan came out of the living room, and came upon me there, still laughing.

When I could get it together, I answered her querulous look from above with: "Y'know why it's impossible for Munchkins to run a muck?"

No, she says, why?

"Because," I answer, falling apart again, "their feet can't reach the pedals."
--------------------------------------------------------------

An amuse bouche as thank you for your WelcomeBacks.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

STEVE B. wrote:

"My battles with the Neocons on Facebook continue. Today I was asked, point blank, if my extreme dislike of Arizona's SB 1070 -- an extreme interpretation of which could be the arrest of school bus drivers who transport children who happen to be illegal aliens (the law provides that anyone caught transporting illegals in their vehicle could be arrested for smuggling) (I am NOT kidding) -- meant I support human trafficking."

Oh, for the love of little green nose things! You have got to be kidding me! *snarl*

***

The first of my Clarion West pieces, flash fiction from Week 1 with Michael Bishop, has left the nest. Here's hoping it finds a good home. *sniff*


shagin

Boks of tricks

STEVE BARBER:

The Boks are unlikely to be related, as Hannes Bok's real name was apparently Wayne Woodard! More here: http://www.americanartarchives.com/bok.htm

- Phil

"It's Not Fair"

I was perusing James Moran's semi-weekly blog post when I ran across a link from him to another writer's blog. James' set-up made it look rather interesting, so I linked myself over and started to read.

The other writer, Phill Barron, has put up a wonderful lay-it-on-the-line no hold barred straightforward talking to for aspiring screenwriters. Sound familiar? Well done and kind of amusing.

In most cases I'd chuckle and move on. This was before I ran across one little note in the "comments" section, which demands -- utterly demands -- I put up a link.

"Not everyone's a Josh Olson, but it was a decent read."

N-Joy.

http://phillbarron.wordpress.com/2010/06/25/its-not-fair/
____________________________________

A few years ago when several of us Webderland folk got together in Philadelphia, a long-lost member of this esteemed board, Alex Jay Berman, was kind enough to take us on a walking tour of downtown Philly. Among the stops was at the Mexfield Parrish/Tiffany "The Dream Garden" mosaic in the Curtis Publishing Company building.

It's a staggering piece, and it jump-started my love of Parrish's work.

But I have a question.

The work was commissioned by Edward Bok. I am curious if there is any relationship between Edward -- at that time the Senior Editor at Curtis Publishing -- and acclaimed artist Hannes Bok?

Hoping one of you historians out there might know the answer.
__________________________________

My battles with the Neocons on Facebook continue. Today I was asked, point blank, if my extreme dislike of Arizona's SB 1070 -- an extreme interpretation of which could be the arrest of school bus drivers who transport children who happen to be illegal aliens (the law provides that anyone caught transporting illegals in their vehicle could be arrested for smuggling) (I am NOT kidding) -- meant I support human trafficking.

These are their tactics.

Ugh.

Strange
It's odd. I haven't had time to stop by here but for a couple of brief visits since The Great Digital Departure, but something in the air made me pop in today. And, Unca Harlan's back.

Thank frakkin' God.

-Kristian

Dear Yr. Pal Harlan - welcome back, good sirrah.

As you've no doubt surmised already, you were missed 'round these parts.

Laurie, blame the public. We go for the mediocre, like teabaggers go for the koolaid. We like mediocre, we think it is just bobbysocks cool.

Sarah Palin is our mediocrity queen, handing out ladels of the spiked liquid.

We have half-assed news, tv, movies, music, art, cultural diversions, punditry. We go for it because we like it. We do not settle for better. We don't want to be citizens, we want to be spectators, watching Rome burn. Then we make excuses when nothing changes. "those damned politicians." Hell, we voted for them. They are us. WE are corrupted. We suck.

The return
Harlan,

It put a kick in my step to see your post! Kind of like the oracle of delphi got it's gas running again.

Susan, I got the parcel yesterday - many thanks

Wade

"...as I was saying"
I am glad to see Harlan back, even in a tentative post. Good and better health to you and Susan!

Brian Phillips

Thank You for Returning
Dear Mr. Ellison:

Just one phrase: the old lion returns.

Thank You.

Regards,

William Sherman
Boxford, MA

Yes!
So glad to see your post, Harlan. The Internet is the same as everything else; most of everything is mediocre at best...most food, most fiction and most non-fiction, most landscaping, most hairdos, most clothes etc., etc., etc. ad nauseum. It is the quality things, the best things, the best minds, the best books, the most decent, the most contributing people that make it all worth getting up in the morning. Thank you for being willing to contribute, if or whenever you feel like it, some sparkling excellence to our group here. I was planning to stick around anyway because this is such a fine group. But having you back, even for one post, made my day today. Any time you are willing to post is a mitzvah, as far as I am concerned. And I am very much looking forward to reading your latest, whenever it is finished. I consider it a privilege to read and post here, no matter the occasional troll or fool. I am so glad you are back.

To Harlan Ellison: If you want to post regularly, you should introduce yourself first. How did you find this place, what led you here, what is your occupation and so on. We look forward to your contributions.

"O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!" He chortled in his joy, for Harlan has returneth!

Things have been batshit crazy at work, which is why I haven't posted much lately.

Things have been interesting on the reviewing front. There's a nice Australian film called _2:37_ that is quite good. If you're really bored, here's my review:

http://www.dvdverdict.com/reviews/237.php

It's more than a little disturbing at times, but it works.

Currently reviewing Max Headroom: The Complete Series. Only halfway through, but it's no where near as good as I remembered. Great concept, weak execution--in terms of story telling, at least; production design is magnificent.

Finally, a pox on Barnes & Noble, for following up their Buy 2 Get 1 DVD free sale with a 50% off sale on their Criterion titles. That's just mean.

Thank You
Harlan; thank you for coming back.

It's amazing how much your words and thoughts mean to someone you've never met. To those who have had the pleasure, I'm sure they mean even more. Thank you, again.

The Return of the Native
Harlan, why is the simple fact that you changed your mind supposed to indicate that you're some sort of evil pathological liar? Gee whiz, good, honest people change their minds every day of the week. The people who hate you from the minute they get up in the morning until the minute they go to bed at night are far too stupid to realize such things, apparently. Why do they hate you, by the way? Envy. They read about Ellison Wonderland, for example, then ask themselves, "Since I'm 55, why do I still live in Mom's basement, along with the mice and roaches?" Pure envy.

William Faulkner Online
Audio tapes of the Author are now online
http://faulkner.lib.virginia.edu/

I'm very pleased to see that you've returned to your virtual dining pavilion, Harlan, and I hope that the time you spend here proves worthwhile.

Great news about "Riding the Rails in Atlantis."

D.

A Messianic Greeting speech of Unnecessary Proportions
Our glorious host returns! The wondrous story-teller, in all of his literary glory, returns to us, his disciples, like Yeshua of Nazareth (minus the divine aspects of the Mythology and the soft-spoken words of the Man).
I greet you, kind poet and writer, into this meta-physical space filled with the dichotomies of idiotic trolls with a love for low culture (built out of meaningless memetic jokes and anecdotes, no less), and of preachers, artists, wanna-bes, has-beens and actually-are. In this niche of fellow men and women with a love for culture and literature, we welcome you back into this temple of writing and reading.

With some Messianic visions to write down on paper

Kafkahead

Relief
Thanks, Harlan.

Tim Raven

Ellison Henry Haas
Via the online Drinking Liberally group I subscribe to, I received an e-mail from proud Papa, Jason Haas.

'Ellison Henry Haas was born at 4:48 PM on Sunday July 18. 7 pounds, 14 ounces.'
-
What's in a name?

The bouncing baby boy was partly named Ellison after the late astronaut Ellison Onizuka AND our esteemed host.

http://haas414.wordpress.com/page/2/

From what I understand, Jason and family are doing just fine, thank you.
-
Isn't Jan 'sposed to cover this stuff?

And, yes, I know that drinking liberally in Milwaukee is a redundancy on the level of Fred Phelps protesting toon characters at Comic Con.

Richard Halasz

Welcome back, Harlan. Delighted to see you here again, as frequently or infrequently as you're comfortable with. I suspect the trolls, slope-brows and other semi-human creatures who infest the rest of the Internet are sleeping a little less soundly tonight.

A kindred spirit?
Unca Harlan:

In your absence, a post by young author Patrick Rothfuss brought to mind your distasteful recent experience, so I thought I'd pass it along to the room at large:

http://blog.patrickrothfuss.com/2009/02/concerning-release-of-book-two/

The section on his disabling comments on said post seemed particularly apropos.

Good to have you pop back in, sir. And good on the folks who remember that we're guests here.

Tectonic murmurs
I sense a Great DDisturbance n The Force...


As if millions of voices cried out, and were silenced...

Just a moment. Just a moment.

My diagnostics predict the B-14 module will fail within forty-eight hours. I think you and Commander Bowman should go EVA to replace it. Don't worry, I'll be right here, I've got your back. No, really. It's gonna be Just Fine.

Dave?

Put away the key, Dave.

Ohhh, I can feel it, Dave.

Daisy, Daisy...

I want you to get up from your sofas, get up from your easy chairs. I want you to go to your windows, open them, lean out and shout, as loud as you can ""I'm glad as Hell that Harlan's Back!"

Vector 12, line nine, key fourteen. Contain, control. Eliminate.

Message string follows: HARLANELLISONISBACKSTOPENDOFSTRING

fade to black

Glad to see you back, Harlan, however much or little you're comfortable with.

It's your presence that makes the hamsters dance.

Jan S

I keep coming here and typing out these longish posts about this and that, shit happening in my life and whatnot, but I almost always delete everything and leave.

I don't know why I do that.

So to remedy this odd character trait (?) and do my part in, as we philosophizers like to say, "continuing the conversation," here are some random ... things:

WEIRD TALES magazine isn't taking any more submissions until January, which is a bummer 'cause I got a humdinger of a weird tale for them. Then again, considering how they've rejected everything I've sent them so far ... mayhaps I should try AZIMOV'S. Nobody else should do this.

I just realized that I'm wearing the shirt that was injured when we planted my mom's pointy, iron "headstone" last week. I wonder how the local Baptists will react to it, it being a shrine to Guan Yin and all.

It is really hard to chop down a pine tree with a sledgehammer. I wouldn't know if this is true or not, I haven't shovelgloved as a lumberjack yet.

Now discuss amongst yourselves the symbolism of what I've said tonight.

Or don't.

ZM

HARLAN,
thank whatever deity you wish to name (or not). Very nice to have you back, sir. I've missed you desperately, and I've been worried about the tenor of remarks around here; while we are all, obviously, here because of our love for you (except for those thrice-damned and unnnamed trolls), I've grown to enjoy the company of the other people who mark time here. I'd hate to see the group dispersed, and without you here, that would happen. So please, stick your nose in from time to time. I promise I will behave myself. I can't speak for anyone else (especially Frank!).

The Host Peeks in...

Harlan

Do you notice the plants in America are a little greener? That there seems to be more oxygen in the world as a result? This is due to the collective sighs of all the folks here in this global pavilion breathing out sighs of relief at your visite opportune.

Blessings to you and Susan...

""Riding the Rails in Atlantis" is now at 11,330 words. I'm shakin' it here, Boss!"

Cool! I can't wait to read this one! Glad to see you poking your schnozzola in here again, Harlan. I was still determined to hang around this crowd, of whom I have grown very fond, even if the Pavilion itself was closed for business, but I'm glad you popped in.

Say Susan, I was unable to partake in the book purge, due to the fact that yet another automobile emergency left me financially flattened. I'm recovering now, and was wondering if you had any copies of the Hornbook still in stock? I've wanted that one for a while.

Bests to all here, who are pretty cool peeps, even when we get a little tetchy.

Chuck

What a relief!

Let me say--in the most manly, guy-like way I can--I downright love Harlan Ellison!

Thanks for coming back!

Steve Dooner

Thanks
Great to hear from you, Harlan!

I hope our just-gone Pavilioners hear your Word and return.

I have to say: this bunch is an erudite, thinking group that you will be hard-pressed to find elsewhere on the web. So let's keep the place alive and kicking.

Inters-net
I was beginning to grow dismayed over the tone of some posts in the Pavilion. Perhaps now things will be a bit more sociable.

Los Angeles is looking gorgeous today, made all the more wonderful by the return of the king.

So... amongst all youse high-fallootin' riter-tipes, does anyone want to do a critique? Alfred Hayes' "In Love" offered up a challenge, and this was the result: http://rapidshare.com/files/409277363/In_Love.doc (It's only good for ten downloads, so don't mess wi' it if you're not sincere. And cut a first-time radio writer some slack, please.)

Dorman
Dorman said, and I had to quote it, much like the guy who keeps calling his ex-wife's lawyer's office just to hear the secretary tell him the man is dead ...

"PERRY: You are absolutely spot-on. You've got me figured out, right down to the part about me being so disgusted with America that I moved to another country (did the same when serving in the Army -- old, unpatriotic habits are hard to break). And you're right: I don't bring enough facts (like polls and links to uncontestable wikipedia articles) to my arguments, debates. I should've known better than to contest a writer as deep and erudite as your own self. I'm gonna work hard over the next few years to try and correct that. My thanks to you and all the other red-blooded Americans for pointing out the error of my ways, and the wrong-headedness of my beliefs."

Sarcasm. But I'm taking it as gospel ...

Welcome back, Unk.

Perry

-
(in response to email from unnamed party, hanging head in mute acknowledgment of inconstancy)

Susan, phase 2 came in today. I had no idea these would come in like this. Payment will go out no later than Friday. Glad to see HE popping in. Thanks to the stars, if this had gone on much longer Amparion and Tim Raven would be comparing dick sizes.

HARLAN!!!

I'm shattering the board rules to tell you outright I LOVE your redundant ass, as I always has!!!

We ARE your loyal, sycophantic, bootlicking friends, always here to offer support or handle your house chores, or even break some fingers for ya!

Harlan! How I've missed you. The long lines for kissing the goose will have to wait.

You are so right--real friends stick by.

Dorman, Barney, Castro are merely perculating through hot rocks. We will see them waving through the bakery window. No worries.

That typewriter of doom must be rocking, bucking like a steed vectored for the distant mesa.

Lots ta enjoy, lots ta enjoy. Like a tot under a fountain of flowing hot fudge.

We loves you Harlan!

---------

A sainthood will also go to that leaker of the classified dictum that went to Wikileaks. You also have an ex-private who may face life in prison for leaking stuff. Real heros take risks.

But I do fear for our country.

I sense a presence...

It's familiar. Comforting.

And strangely repetitive.



(Welcome back, sir.)

THE MOUSE TENTATIVELY POKES HIS TWITCH IN ......
Friends do not abandon friends when the shit cometh down.

It has been a convoluted last few months for The Electric Baby and me. Ongoing memory loss. Down to about 156 pounds, which is good; some of it from ideopathic, uh, hmmm, "restless bowel syndrome," not so terrific. That cataclysmic Purge of Harlan's Goodies, which bifurcated my brain and put me way over the edge in terms of embarrassment versus necessity. We'll talk about it some time. Many insights, several epiphanies, and an inexcusable belch at the dinner table.

Last week, the nonpareil portraitist and fine artist, Iain McCaig, whose work for Lucas and others impells the dropping of jaws as if one were at center of a developing caldera, got back from Sweden afore hinterlanding to San Diego, and he came by to sign the gorgeous full-canvas portrait he did of Yr. Pal many months ago: and now all I need do is to get it appropriately mounted and framed in the best preservational manner. This portrait will be the generic cover for most, if not all, of the forthcoming HARLAN 101 books being released for download courtesy of my Edgeworks Abbey, and the phenomenally-successful Publishing 180.

What else? Susan is, as always, gorgeous beyond belief, makes the best paprikash you've ever tasted, continues to be smarter than a Leyendecker cover, seems to be recovering from her efforts (today alone, out went 40+ tubes containing signed posters), and is (if I read her facial tics as well as I do on LIE TO ME) a tad dismayedd that I'm back here. She and I know that, as happened when I left, there will be some strangers out there who will find this VERY tentative nose-poke-back-in as another shard in the ongoing construction of the Great Portland Vase of Ellison Iniquity. Liar, duplicitous dickwad, reaver, dunderhead, fraud, dissembler, hypocrite, deceiver...and any number of other epithets someone would have to spell for them ... pfui, as Nero Wolfe used to say. Pfui, sir! Flummery!

Do not fret it, my friends.

Yes, it got to me, and if I'd fallen in the ocean between then and now, well, as I've recounted her aphorism a thousand times, as Dorothy Parker said it, "Well, if it falls in the ocean, hell, it falls in the ocean."

But due to the close and ceaseless cozzening of Steve Barber, Erik Nelson, Josh Olson, and others of you I've memory-misplaced (so don't feel blown-off, cut the old guy some slack) -- through the magic mediums of the US Mail and the actual, land-line telephone, I've poked back in here to hope that Adam-Troy, and Barney, and Dorman will see this, and remember:

Friends don't abandon friends when the shit tide riseth.

I shall make myself apparent for you, and for our Benefactor, Mr. Rick Wyatt (whose name is revered by kindly Allah), on a regular basis. If you care to, you can get the underground news to those who will smile at it.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

PSes: "Riding the Rails in Atlantis" is now at 11,330 words. I'm shakin' it here, Boss!

The first issue of the IDW graphic series of PHOENIX WITHOUT ASHES with covers by my friend, one of my favorite artists, the accomplished John K. Snyder III, and really nifty nifty nifty
artwork by Alan Robinson, is out. IDW is offering an incentive to buying the 4-issue arc: chapbook reprints of the entire Edward Bryant novelization, in four volumes. Free with purchase. Annoy your comics store owner for these.

We shall see what the next week or so manifests.

Breaking the one-a-day-rule to thank Steve B., who just gave me a good reason to hang around.

Now THIS is how you do television!!

In the mid-sixties, there was a terrific British anthology series called "Out of the Unknown". It started around the same time as DOCTOR WHO and continued into the early seventies. They adapted the work of a lot of famous sci-fi authors, like Asimov and Ballard. Unfortunately, most of the episodes were dumped, the same fate which befell Patrick Troughton's tenure as the Doctor. However, a few survived the purge...and here's the best I've seen so far, a creepy little yarn called LAMBDA 1:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ON9HZslT2JI&videos=ymEvaZQaklI

There are some intensely terrifying sequences in this story, all of which show how much you can accomplish with $5 sets and a little imagination. Please...check it out, if you can.

I swear, after I was finished watching this, I turned on the TV in my living room, tuned in to an episode of LOST - and immediately started crying.

That Needed Answering
I've been on a lot of online venues that, ultimately, ended. Plato, then Compuserve, then Genie; Sff.net is slowing down and I don't expect to be there much longer; I used to be active on television without pity, but no longer blog The Amazing Race anywhere and so have given that up. Most of the people I stay in touch with, here, have already followed me to other places and see me in those venues regularly. Without Harlan this place simply duplicates what I do elsewhere, with many of the same people -- including you, Steve, who friended me on Facebook. I'm not saying I won't ever be back here, as this has been a great community for years and will likely continue to be...but it has lost much of its unique component and I don't think it's a bad idea to drift.

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