Unca Harlan's Art Deco Dining Pavilion

Archive - 08/01/2008 to 09/13/2008

Unca Harlan's Art Deco Dining Pavilion

RIP


Dammit.

David Foster Wallace, at 46:

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-wallace14-2008sep14,0,7461856.story

Hi Keenan,

Click on the "Webderland Forums" link above. It's a better place to discuss topics such as this one, and there isn't a "One Post Per Day" limit, like there is here in the Pavilion.

We'll discuss your post "over there," if you wish.

Wear a cup.

In reference to Harlan being called "self-aggrandizing" and "self-promoting", may I submit this quote:

"We all come into this world with our little egos equipped with individual horns. If we don't blow them, who else will?"
~ Addison DeWitt (actually Joseph L. Mankiewicz)

It's just an artist's way of keeping from being sucked down the memory hole. Even best sellers have to keep the promotion going or they'll disappear down the old event horizon.

Writers have to be nearly certifiable, to be story-telling addicts, who live to write and publish tales and commentary as one lives to eat and breathe in order to simply stay alive. This world eats such people and it takes a special kind of obsession and rock-headed persistence to be a writer.

If they really go for it, their place "...shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory nor defeat."
(T.R.)

Chuck

Christian political party
I much prefer that religion stay well away from politics and government.

And Keenan? Were you aware that there's a one post per day rule here in the Pavillion?

Jan S.

Harlan & Susan: I found it by my door

Many thanks.

The package arrived in perfect condition this very afternoon. I was concerned that my check hadn't arrived because the bank (as of yesterday) showed no record of it having been cashed.

Now I can, once again, listen to Harlan recount his days in New York.

If there are those among you who still have virgin ears to the tales told in "AN HOUR WITH HARLAN ELLISON, VOLUME 1: Loving Reminiscences of the Dying Gasp of the Pulp Era," send a check post haste and purchase the compact audio cassette. If you technology doen't date from the time of the cassette player, if you only have a compact disc player, beg and plead with Deep Shag at info@deepshag.com so that they might work out a mutually lucrative deal with the aforementioned Harlan Ellison so that present and future generations may get a glimpse into a bygone slice of time.

""All I ask is that you consider what happened the last four thousand times someone's god(s) directed folks to promote a political agenda based on faith.""

I'd love to hear what instances you are talking about. Maybe Holy Wars and such?

Keenan - Both the Democrats and Republicans are Christian political parties, despite the other planks in their platforms. Smaller political organizations may not be as readily influenced by religious views, but do not doubt they are there in the woodwork.

You also commented about the party not being about religion. Um...can you get two Christians in a room who share the same views on every matter? Baptists, and Methodists, and Catholics, oh my! Faith and religion are not one and the same, but one man's faith is another man's failure.

All I ask is that you consider what happened the last four thousand times someone's god(s) directed folks to promote a political agenda based on faith.


shagin

I never heard that before in their party's platform, that they were a "Christian Party". They seem to want voters from all religions just like the democratic party. Am I wrong?

Keenan, you've already got a religion based political party. It's called the Republican party.

No other discussion is needed.

Wanted to get this forums opinions on this subject
I wanted to get this forum's opinions on this subject. Be fore-warned it involves religion AND politics, and I can understand if some don't want to get involved in such a discussion. But I felt I had to get this forum's opinion as I am a big fan of Harlan Ellison's work, and look up to him as a person.

here is the quoted text from kdunham.wordpress.com:

quote//////Hello webfans, this is a call to Christian action!
September 13, 2008 by kdunham

I have developed an idea for a CHRISTIAN political party. I would not at all mind feedback from others about this new idea. I do not know American political history well enough to refer you to any examples in our past of parties like this, but I can say I know there are no major parties like the one I am designing in existence today when “we, the people,” need one.

PALADIN will be a political party based mainly on Christian values, and will have a focus on gathering the popular consensus of Christians in a formidable body of action meant to BOTH spread Christ’s message (not religion) and serve THE PEOPLE.

P-A-L-a-D-IN

is an anacronym that stands for People’s Action, Liberation, and Defence Initiative

I first came up with this idea while I was praying so I feel it is God’s intention that this political party come about. God inspired me to call the party Paladin, which serves as a reminder that we must protect others(this is where DEFENSE comes in in the anacronym) once we have LIBERATED ourselves from satan’s yoke. I feel the Holy Spirit is guiding me towards others like-minded and ready to ACT. This party could forseeably produce a write-in candidate for the 2008 presidential canidacy. Although this may seem ridiculous or daunting or impossible given the political process, any result that occurs in this world is DIVINE WILL, and thus we must act, we must liberate others from injustice and evil, and we must defend the weak. This political party is dependent on first of all God’s will and plan, only then can this party hope to fit into HIS plan and the directives, aims, and goals of this party will not change however popular the initiative becomes.

I need input from others on this idea, but most of all I need your prayers.

Peace and goodbye for now,

Keenan Dunham/////quote

I really do need your prayers on this subject as well as your opinional input. I promise this isn't a spam on the forums as I really plan to discuss the idea with any one that wishes to on here.

Peace,
Keenan

KOS AND/OR BARNEY DANNELKE

I don't think I ever told you this, Barney, though heaven knows you are more familiar with the minutiae of my life than almost anybody except Susan, but when KOS mentioned "rummy," which I learned across the table from The Greatest Dirty Card Player in the Universe, my mom, as GIN RUMMY, it dawned on me that I never list playing gin as one of my "sports hobbies." But it is. I am more than pretty good at it, having learned ruthless cutthroat 3-across 10th-of-a-cent-a-point 25 points per box get the sucker on a schneider pull-the-elbow-card "Hollywood" (AKA Texas AKA East Coast) Gin Rummy from a woman who would--though we lived in Ohio--if she found herself losing--scream "Earthquake" and overturn the card table.

WE'RE IN O-HIIIIIIII-O, MOM!!!! I would scream back, WE DON'T H*A*V*E EARTHQUAKES IN OHIIIIIIIIO, MOM!!!!

Just thought the two of you would like to know the preceding. I am, after all, a Full Service Author.

Yr. Pal, Harlan (a man of constantly revealed New Depths)

SHANE:

Susan lets no grass grow: check received, order has gone out.

-he

NOTES TO RICK KEENEY

1) I batten on having "been there/said that/done that," though it leaves me wide-open to the opprobrium "self-aggrandizing," (as per a Shawn Connor in the Vancouver Courier). But in an age of rampant cultural amnesia, if one is even a tweet concerned about the value of one's having spent an entire life Doing Stuff, if one does not go ahem 'scuse me...who the hell will?
As seemingly diffuse lead-in to:

If you find what CERN is doing with the new supercollider of interest, may I commend to your attention a prize-winning story by a Harlan Ellison, the title of which begins "Adrift Just Off the Islets of Langerhans..." in which I, well, ahem 'scuse me...

2) I have relayed your "Death is a fence that won't take whitewash" to perhaps a dozen of my good friends, and each has been flabbered'n'gasted. One of them, the well-known aphorist and master antho9logist of quotebooks, Jon Winokur, does a newspaper column, and (somewhat to my consternation) tells me he is using it. I am consternated, however, because I'm not sure he's using the name Rick Keeney (though between the time I asked you here if it was original or a hand-me-down, and you came back to say it was original with you, I had called Jon and, after I read your claim, I called him back to tell him it was a Keeneyism, he said it would appear as "quoted by Harlan Ellison," which is not specific attribution, but can be misread as me speaking a lot more cleverly than I do). If that happens, I will be chagrined, and I want you to know that I take atribution VERY seriously, and will do everything possible to make sure no one credits Ellison for a Keeney. I think, though, that just to be safe, I should apologize in advance, in the expectation that if something CAN go wrong...it will.

3) Are you a published aphorist, Rick? Pardon my ignorance.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

vampires
The only essential texts are Stoker and Matheson (with LeFanu and Steve as sidecars). There are the short stories, like Fritz's ,which are quite good but a novel has to establish its mythology and the vampire, while wonderful as a metaphor, cannot sustain a prolonged narrative especially one that eschews the supernatural. (Legend sorta kinda works in Matheson's explanation but vampirism, to me, makes no empirical biological sense .)

gibberish compounded
This should have at least appeared on top of my last post. Power outage - then Loftus. But I needed to say that should read...

"cheerfully JUMPED over to the other side..."

and the syntax and multiple directions exhibited in the sentence beginning with "However..." - well, that sentence just needs to be taken apart and sewn back together in ways that would make Victor Frankenstein take up another hobby. Apologies all around. See you in 48-72.

- Barney

Rightorthursday, PA.

world-class myth-muckers rated


BARNEY:

It's kind of like that old truism: What I like is erotica, what you like is pornography, what they like is filth.

dueling mythologies
Shane S. quotes;

. . .There was a bit of an outcry over this, and Harlan Ellison, in particular, was extremely vocal about how “vile and detestable” he thought Chaykin’s version of the Shadow was. “At what point,” he demanded, “do you say to these people, you’re mucking with our myths?”

(Oh, if he’d only known what was coming a year or two down the road…) . . .

*** Shane *** The problem here is that since the very beginning of his career Harlan has occasionally and cheerfully over to the other side of that fence.

I also did not enjoy Chaykin's retread of THE SHADOW which makes me no purest since I just loved Kyle Baker's even nuttier version which came right on its heels. I said to friends at the time if Chaykin had been allowed to do this to Doc Savage instead of the Shadow I would have been as rip-shit as Harlan was. It's just a matter of what you grew up with and I grew up with the Bantam re-releases of Doc in the 1960's and '70's.

However, now that I've come to Harlan's defense allow me to kneecap him by saying someone who starts by fucking with Brando in THE WILDER ONE and has followed him through the contents of THE DEATHBIRD and pissed myself over S.A.N.T.A. C.L.A.U.S. vs. SPIDER and seen him re-arrange Lovecraft and some Greek material in SLAB and then finally simultaneously smooch and fuck with Hilton & Capra's LOST HORIZON - well, it's hard to see Harlan as anything other than a world-class myth-mucker. Which, now that I look at those four words, "world class myth-mucker" should probably one of Harlan's newest t-shirts. Preferably done in some Simonson style lettering and surrounded by those Kirby crackling powerballs. And that shirt should be one size down from wherever he was prior to the (I'm FINE!) procedures - as a motivator.

And it should have about 60 pockets and a Hidalgo label.

And epaulets.

Good Morning!

- Barney Dannelke

History is a vast early warning system.
-Norman Cousins (1915-1990)

Hydrox hits Manhattan
Hydrox display spotted at Duane Reade chain store in NYC: $2.99 a package on 23rd St. between 6 & 7th Aves.

"Rolling Dat Ole Debbil Electronic Stone". . .
To change the subject slightly, as it pertains to decaying standards of education, and a certain Ellisonian essay. . .

I have come accross more bullshit here in my first two weeks of Teacher's College than I have in the previous four years (at least since I was sent as a cub reporter to cover a corporate energy convention).

The latest is a reading in which some high fllutin' education "expert" (I think his neame was Gee) talking about the educational value of video games, specifically (get this!) "29 Overlapping Learning Principals" which emerge from video games.

Having wasted much of my childhood and adolescence literally twiddling my thumbs to manipulate pixels on a screen, I can say from experience that this is utter complete, unadulterated Bullshit.

Imagine my delight when that same evening, I quite by accident stumbled accross the above titled article by Unca Harlan, as it appeared in "Video Review", and later "Comics Journal". The principal is the same as ever, even if the graphics have improved.

I would love to shove this article down the instructor's throat (metaphorically of course), but in this program, we are not rewarded for honesty. Only for regurgitating Ministry bullshit.

This is why I use a silly pseudonym.

-Steve E.

erratum
"perfect DICTION", though I like the idea of "perfect fiction" also.

Sigh

KOS

The Man In The Chair
Does anyone else here play poker regularly?

I go about once a week to an Indian Casino (they insist on calling them Indian Casinos, I suppose it's a marketing choice). I am fascinated by the interweaving of probability and personality that is poker. One part mathematics, two parts psychology and at least one more part of just plain weird stuff.

The math is obvious: each shuffle of the cards is an independent event in probability, subject to the "laws" that govern such events. Everyone gets the same cards in the same numbers if you play long enough.

The psychology though: Ah, there IS the rub. Those who think it's all in the numbers, that skill and ability to read other people plays no role need to explain why it is that in the ultimate high stakes world of High Roller Tournaments the same elite level players, over and over, way out of any likelihood of probability,finish at the top. They apparently share an uncanny ability to sniff out the strength of the other players hand, and then to play their expectations perfectly for maximum return.

Not to mention the mind games they can play. "Did he mean what he said, or did he mean what de did not say?" and so on.

Just plain weird: I have seen the following things-

I once played seven card stud and had four kings showing after six cards had been dealt. I believe the odds against that are about one in one hundred forty thousand. Another player had three aces showing at that point in the hand. That was one in about three hundred eighty million, that you would have both of those hands in the same random shuffle.

Then on the last card, that player got the fourth Ace to beat me. About one in twenty billion AGAINST that happening.

Then there was the time a player sat down with thirty dollars in Texas Hold Em, and on the first hand of a new game made a straight flush in the first five cards ("On The Flop" as they call it). The last card gave a second player a HIGHER straight flush. I believe the odds of that happening are on the order of my four kings experience. Oh, and the player who lost: he received a one-hundred thousand dollar bonus "Bad Beat Jackpot" reserved for those who lose on such an unlikely hand as a straight flush.

That's right. Thirty dollars, one hand, and he had one-hundred thousand dollars.

One hopes he quit playing, if only for the day.

The weirdest thing I ever saw with cards though was not in poker.

I enjoy "Rummy". One night two friends and I listened to a ballgame on an old portable radio as we played that game. The old radio drifted back and forth, the game btoadcast fading in and out of reception. Weird atmospherics as the Heaviside Layer did it's usual early evening adjustments. A lot of hissing, crackling and popping. Then: the "noise to signal ratio" went ballistic, the static dropped to nil and a strong male voice said with perfect fiction "The Third Card Is A Three."

We looked at one another, and smiled. "That's kind of weird." "Yeah, what if the next card is a three?"

The next card was turned over by the player whose turn it was. It was a three.

Kind of strange.

So then the next player takes his turn, and turns over the next card in the deck.

A three. He melded it with something or other, and passed play to the thrid player in turn.

Who promptly turned over the THIRD card to reveal:

A three.

The third card WAS a three. The radio had gone back to random pops and flutters as the ballgame announcers voice faded in and out.

No one else was in the house, just the three players at the dining room table. No one in any nearby house knew us or that we were playing cards.

None of us were card mechanics or "magicians".

More than twenry years after, whenever I see those two friends, we talk about that game and that voice.

It's a strange world.

KOS

The Road
Harlan,
Are you on the road less traveled these days? Is it a spiritual quest? I have just noticed the postings on your On The Road page are dated, few and far between. WILL YOU EVER COME OUT TO PLAY AGAIN!!!!?
I would like the opportunity to lurk near you (just joking, you don't have to call Gavin Debecker Fa Christsakes!!!) It's just the only time that i have even seen you on the boob tube is when you sparred with bill M on politically incorrect. Anyway I'm whining. Have a good day Dammit!

What is the line and where is it crossed ?
"Comics Should Be Good!"
Friday at the Frat House
by Greg Hatcher

. . .There was a bit of an outcry over this, and Harlan Ellison, in particular, was extremely vocal about how “vile and detestable” he thought Chaykin’s version of the Shadow was. “At what point,” he demanded, “do you say to these people, you’re mucking with our myths?” (Oh, if he’d only known what was coming a year or two down the road…) . . .


SUSAN: Did you receive the check I sent to the HERC p.o. box about two weeks ago?

Harlan's stories are very very cherryberrychocolatefairy, uneat.

---------------

Kos, sure, be skeptical of all intentions of elites--dance in the streets naked, shout til the dark birds leave the temple bells; piss on their campfires and throw sand in their faces--fine--do all these things, but remember that science is our friend. We have improved morally and logically since we thought blacks were inhuman. To use your logic, since science now thinks that blacks are equal, you can say, no, fuck the consensus, blacks are inferior, what does science know? The crosswalk moves both ways.

Science has improved by leaps and bounds. When even General Electric can talk about green energy with a straight face, you know the consensus is serious.

Being conservative doesn't mean you have to be proud of being wrong.

All in love sweets. Snowcone snuggles.

--------------

One more thing about Vietnam:

I forgot about the fact that there were "free- fire- zones," Soldiers, if they wanted too, could just mow down a bunch of civilians and it was fine. Air bombing had to have the same rules, seems to fit. McCain may have had the free fire order in the air as well. "Bomb anything that moves," to quote Richard Nixon. McCain will never be clean on this. He cannot hide behind the skirt of the hockey mom from lunksville.

ahem from me as well....
And of course that should've read "with every bit as much fascination". Damn my inferior 5 am proofreading skills.

CERN
While the snarkier portion of me still cracks wise about wishing to hell someone over in Switzerland would at least google "Doctor Who" and "Omega" before switching that bleedin' thing on, the prospect of the BEH finally being discovered in our time has me watching the entire proceedings with every as much fascination as you have, Rick.

I just unpacked and shelved my copy of Leon Lederman's "The God Particle" the other day, and really ought to be reading that one right now, but opted for a reread of the illustrated albeit far more new-agey "Space-Time and Beyond" by Bob Toben and Fred Alan Wolf instead.

Also, having been through the Minneapolis area in February (1985, to be more precise), I'd have to rate the winters in that place and time as easily capable of giving those Bose-Einstein condensates a run for their money....

ahem...
that is:

"string theory" and "in-fighting"

am tarred

LHC

Did anyone notice that somewhere on the Franco-Swiss border hundreds of physicists are writing a new story in a fantastic new language?

It's all about the Discovery Machine, and simulating the birth of a universe using beams that travel around a 27km oval 50,000 times per second at temperatures below -270 degrees Celsius. Magnets with more pull than the Earth's own field, elusive "god particles" (Higgs boson), helium so cold it would climb out of a test tube, reconciling string teory and relativity, petabytes of information from experiments that last for weeks; unfathomable amounts of information per second, every second of the day for thirty days running.

Dark matter.

Super symmetry.

Thousands of physicists from the world over, working toward this monumental end(indeed a theory so large that apparently many other so far undiscovered dimensions may be necessary to contain or explain or verify the proof/s.) A small society of scientists, not devoid of politics and in fighting; but a strange little democracy it seems to be.

And if the supercollider proves their Standard Model inaccurate? These physicists would be VERY excited about that.

I'm sure you can see my cognitive limits with regard to this topic, I'm sure. I don't think I know how to talk about all this. I know I can't possibly have it right. But the part of my brain that loves Niven and Poul Anderson, and Dr. Asimov and Greg Benford and Stanley Weinbaum and Edgar Rice Burroughs and the Jameses (Blish and Tiptree Jr.), and etc. has got it's feelers up and out.

Does anyone want to talk about what's going on in Cern?

Rick

Ah-hem! I mean, "that's why we're LAYMEN"

KOS,

As if trying to unconsciously overcompensate for our own ignorance, we lay people oddly hold a certain typical conceit that those researchers - who spend their lives on the empirical data, doing the math, testing the models, and measuring variations - cannot be so confident of their claims, thus WE must we right. That's uninformed skepticism.

We find complacency in our criteria or faith, generally at the expense of logic. If YOU argue that a FEW researchers disagree with the world-wide scientific consensus (bearing in mind that the only REAL controversy ISN'T that global warming is a reality but whether or not WE are contributing to it and to what extent), THEY must be correct (either you're very bad at math, KOS, or you're not DOING the math); likewise, if I read enough of the same over and over by sources I trust, I take it on faith that they MUST be right. (Still, by MY logic, given the exponential population growth and the constancy of fossil fuels - DECADES of it - pumping into the atmosphere - and having read about the crucial shifts in our atmosphere throughout the planet's history - I CANNOT believe WE are not contributing to global warming; and it's fact - not NOTION - that, above else, endless economic growth is built on the use of cheap fossil fuel; hence, as regions like China increase industrialization we WILL see the radiative effect of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere. You watch. It's gonna happen!)

Putting it another way, YOU don't know shit. Nor do I. We take our sources on a degree of faith. That's why we're layman. Yet...the logic comes in how we choose to shape our judgment. There is NO sound judgment in banking on what a minority of researchers (particularly those who earn paychecks from certain business interests) publish against the greater tide of scientists around the world. Likewise, it wouldn't be to my credit if I read about the cycles caused by global warming and then figure right off that if I see more rain or more heat it must be the result of THOSE cycles; because the cycles they describe are LONG run patterns, far more complex than something you can see outside your window right away. (Al Gore himself covered this point in ample detail)

Thus, if you and I are standing in a room arguing our respective sizzle points we only do so within the limits of what we've come to accept in our reading. Beyond that, NEITHER of us know SHIT.

I therefore urge the following: Don't challenge ANY of US on the topic; don't QUESTION our facts; don't even believe our arguments.

No. If you really want to KNOW, ipso facto, then you GO directly to those scientists. Bring the questions and the arguments to THEM. They're the guys with the math, the models, the objective facts, and the license to clarify ALL your quandaries. If you saw the findings for yourself I doubt you could challenge them.

THAT'S using intelligent judgment. That's the virtue of rationality. Conceit keeps facts out of our reach; ongoing inquiry - and responsible individual action - is the only lifeboat for our species. But if we're all going to be stupid in our arrogance then we seal the fate for later generations (assuming we haven't already done so).

For the record, I've done this myself to the extent I could, by approaching science professors to discuss the consensus.

Blind faith is to live a brain fart.

DAMMIT!

I dropped an end-parenthesis; and that should've been YEW-fucking-NEEEEEK, not "neat."

I hate it when I step into my own bear trap, dammit!

-he

DEREK:

Yes, I have read Joel Townsley Rogers's THE RED RIGHT HAND, and your recommendation is well-placed. Ellery Queen listed it as an "essential" decades ago, and I read it as part of a programme of commiting the Queen's Quorum to pore-over.

But, on another note, as I've said here a hundred times, you cannot modify the word "unique." UNIQUE is what is termed an "ultimate," and thus, you misspeak seriously (for those of us who go insane over such repeated repeated repeated repeated infelicities as your "very unique manner."

UNIQUE, one and all, folks, for the MILLLLLLLIONTH time, is just pure old stand-alone non-modified, fuckin' UNIQUE!!! Not "very" unique, or "Rillleeee" unique, or "toe-tuh-lee" unique or anydamnother. It is--repeat after me, Derek--JUST--what????--YOOOOOO-fucking-NEAT!

Yr. exhausted pal, Harlan (who prays that instead of so many people wasting their time on this wretched dispenser of misinformation and gobbledygook and obscurantism and illiteracy, that they buy a book of basic English grammar)

HARLAN,

If you're really sincere about that book, why not bulk it up even further? Why not get in touch with Jonathan Frakes, or Brian Dennehy, or John Hurt about a possible foreword? Why not pillage the offices of MastersFX for conceptual designs of the Discards, assuming they kept any? Why not include Steve Rude's comic-book rendition from DREAM CORRIDOR VOL. 2 just for the sake of being a completist?

Ideas to mull over, if you like.

PALIN
....meant to say, "without a moment's," etc.
Sorry for the double post

PALIN
The prospect of a Palin Presidency is scary. After all, McCain is 72 and would be entering one of the most stressful job in the world, so it's not a giant leap to envision him not finishing out the term. And Palin, in her interview with Gibson, seemed steadfast in her boast that she was "wired" to make instant decisions. With a moment's self-doubt or reflection. Well, there's not a lot of damage you can do to the world if you're the mayor of Mayberry, Alaska. Or even governor. If she were president during the Cuban Missile Crisis, most of us might not even be here now.

Another Ellisonism heard from.


. . .Ellison is also known for his sharp sense of humor, and after he had been repeatedly asked where he got all his ideas, he once said he paid for a service in Schenectady to send him fresh ideas regularly. The phrase caught on and many sci-fi authors now offer the same answer when asked about the genesis of their ideas. . .

http://www.dailygazette.com/news/2008/sep/12/0912SCIFI/

Biting my tongue
Okay, Unca Arlano, si si, cosi fan tuttie frutti malocchio. Basta.

At least Alan Coil gets it.

Monckton ain't no scientist. Never said he was. Never mentioned his name. Straw man.

Which is neither here nor there.

Alan Coil got it. My point is and was that the concept: :a consensus of scientists ipso facto regardless of facts has to be right one hundred per cent ala Il Pape infallible when speaking as a consensus" is logically ridiculous.

That way lies madness.

How long ago was it "consensus science" that blacks were inferior? That women were "weak vessels" merely to be chucked under the chin and left out of anything involving real power?

Consensus might be right, might be wrong, that it is a consensus is not to say it is therefore reality. "The map is not the territory." Opinions are maps of reality. Consensus is a herd of opinions, and herds act like herds when challenged. "Danger. Expel the outsider. Move as a mass. Danger."

The planet is warming, but there IS some question as to the how and why of the observed warming. The how and why DO have SOMEthing to do with what should be done to ameliorate or reverse the warming. More than a little to do with. As in quite a lot to do with. It would be good to reduce the uncertainty as to the causes and mechanisms. It would be good to really know what is the best action to take.

The point with the Bayesian analysis explanation is: if you show that there is X per cent chance of a certain hypothesis being true, and if you can also show that there is an X per cent or greater savings in expected long term cost should the hypothesis be proven, then testing the hypothesis is a cost effective measure.

It works well enough for insurance companies that they use it all the time. Since insurance companies don't have to win elections it's easier for them to just do it. They don't have to deal with emotions and politics in their decisions. If they turn a profit for their shareholders it's all good. I konw the world of public policy is not that simple.

In that world the moment anyone mentions they don't believe in consensus "science", as a philosophical concept, they get hammered. This is what passes for logic and reasoned discourse in most circles. I understand why, that people believe the whole world is at stake and thus get more than a little involved emotionally. All the more need then for reason.

My last word on the value of consensus in science, from a poster I saw in the Sixties: "Eat shit. Ten Billion flies can't be wrong!"

And no, I am NOT telling anyone here to metaphorically or actually eat shit.

Just want to be clear on that.

I think I can safely drop this whole matter. I was a fool to speak up. As they say in Japan, "It's the tall nail that get's hammered first."

KOS

The Red Right Hand

I was reading THE RED RIGHT HAND by Joel Townsley Rogers today, and ran across a quote I thought some of you might enjoy, in reference to some of the stories I've read here of meeting favorite authors/artists and having awkward situations ensue:

"I didn't particularly want to meet any man too intelligent, who might want to converse too much. In part, I think it was due to a general feeling I have that authors and their books are separate things; and that if a man has written a great book, the best of him is in it. An author and his book are no more identical than a father and his child, or a man and his wife. They are related, and they have a similarity in different ways; but you can like one without liking the other. They are not the same." (pg. 105)

THE RED RIGHT HAND is a VERY interesting mystery, by the way, and well worth tracking down. It's structured in a very unique manner, and the writing is great at setting an ominous tone. Anyone else out there read it? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

All the best,

Derek

I understand that there are some people who are not yet convinced that global warming is due to human activity. Dumping billions of tons of pollutants like CO2 into the atmosphere is not a convincing cause of an event what we all agree is occurring (temps going up over the long term).

BUT! Why is it those people seem to feel the contrary position is to do NOTHING more than continuing to research the cause before doing anything that might -- emphasize might -- be better for the planet even if not the cause of warming???

Doesn't it make sense, even if the doomsayers are wrong, to go green? Even just for the sake of argument? Or do you really LIKE the smog... and the junk flowing downriver... and the increased cost of food... etc, etc, etc.

No one who doesn't believe in mankind's part in global warming has yet to make a convincing argument that doing NOTHING is the best course of action.
____________________________________________

Someone observed today that Sarah Palin is that person who is the president of the Homeowners Association, and spends his/her time doing little more than insisting people conform to his/her perception of reality. Telling you your door is the wrong shade of brown, or that your roses are two inches too tall, or that you've planted the wrong kind of grass.

It's the closest stereotype I've heard that came close to explaining my creepout over her demeanor.
____________________________________________

Looks like it will be later next week when I start the new gig. Someone in HR messed up on my paperwork, and we all know the paperwork has to be in order before anything else happens.

Anyone need any errands done???

KOS et al.,

KOS has a point. My choice of the word consensus was poor. What I meant by consensus in my post was not meant to express the idea that all scientists sat around a table and took a vote on the issue, although some in the media would seem to give us that impression.

What I meant was that climatoligists and other qualified investigators in other fields have investigated the data and reached the generalized conclusion that global climate change is
occurring and that humans are responsible for an important part of that change.

Are there dissenting views in the climatological community? Yes. And that is most certainly a good thing. Science doesn't work without dissent.

But the data are the data. You can't escape the tyranny of facts. And the fact is that average atmospheric temperatures are rising - just over 1 degree Celsius in the last century. That may not sound like much but at a global scale that is BIG difference given the consequence that atmospheric and biological processes respond to minor changes in average annual temperatures.

Opinions of various individuals within the scientific community differ, I believe, in three major areas:

1) the RELATIVE importance of human activities on the change in global temperatures in comparison to natural effects (volcanoes, cow farts, termite mounds, solar activity, etc);

2) the degree to which recently observed local or broad scale effects such as sea level rize, hurricane frequency and intensity, changes in glacier ice and even earthquakes are due to
global warming and;

3) model predictions of the changes we can expect to experience in the future due to global warming.

But the evidence indicates that global warming has occurred. I suppose we could argue over the finer points of each of the the issues I've listed but do we have the time? Again it is a cost benefit analysis. We can continue to argue I suppose about all of these points but I simply can't see how we can possibly loose anything by applying a little precaution. What do we loose by improving energy efficiency or reducing our carbon footprint?

So KOS, I have two questions for you. What problems do you have with the precautionary principle?

And on a completely unrelated note you mentioned Bayesian analysis, are you a statistician?

DAVID...KOS...ET AUTRE AL...

Play nice. Discussion, yes. Ad hominems, no. DEFinitely, NO.

I know you both; you are both good folks.

Keep the stuff above the belt.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

MALATESTA...infama...!

Malafagura, you-a cuckolda strunz!

I come-a you sty anna kick-a you lumaconi uppa you gnocchi!

You focca wit' me, foccaccio, you gonna weeps t'regret it!

An' that goes-a for you snotty little mohnkee, too!

Wit' th'kiss of mortedella, Arlano Ellisoni, of the Unione Corse

REPLY TO PAM CROSSLAND

Dear Pam: I must hasten to disabuse you of a misconception. Not only have I NEVER made Laurell Hamilton cry, I think she is a very very nice woman, and I commend her success. I am not a fan of vampire stories. Literarily-speaking, I think it has been--for decades--a Spent Force, now bereft of virtually all but aficionado interest. The genre is popular as hell, but it leaves me cold. That's just me: I have a few personal favorite vampire stories, but all of them are at least a decade or three old...I haven't paid any attention to that sub-genre in years'n'years, purposely. But please mark this: it has nothing to do with Laurell or her work. I have no dog in that hunt, so I would never say anything that might make her smile OR cry; I am witless on the subject.

The one time Laurell and I had more than a passing hiya, kiddo, a wave, and a smile, was when we were on the same panel at some convention or other, quite a while ago, and I said pretty much what I just reiterated. Laurell wasn't over-the-top in love with my comments, naturally; I mean, after all, it IS her metier; but the exchange between us was absolutely affable, she was uncommonly charming and gracious and forgiving of my opinion, and ever since we have exchanged pleasantries and notes on a number of occasions.

Laurell K. Hamilton, thus, is peaches in my book. I have many auctorial friends whose work is not my banquet, but it isn't hard to separate Person from Work if there is mutual respect.

So, no, I never made Laurell cry, and hope never to do so.

Somebody might want to copy the above and send it where it'll hit Laurell's attention. I'd appreciate that, on just the off-chance that what Pam had heard is a "Chinese Whispers" recurrence.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

I fought the lawn, and the lawn. . .


:: Saturday last, I mowed my lawn.


Hand-powered mower, I hope, Alan?

Flynn & Santi, etc.
FYI, Greg Mcdonald spelled his last name with lower-cased D's.

Josh: Bag's in the river.

There are four FLYNN novels, eleven FLETCH novels and two SKYLAR novels. In addition to THE BRAVE, Greg published nearly a dozen other books, most notably SAFEKEEPING and an incredible epistolary comedy called LOVE AMONG THE MASHED POTATOES. This fall, Seven Stories reprints SOUVENIRS OF A BLOWN WORLD, a collection of his best Boston Globe pieces.

He really valued his privacy, but I can assure you all Greg was a terrific guy. I'd known him for nearly 25 years, and among the deaths I've weathered this year, his has hit me the hardest.

* * *

KOS:

If you love Santi White, let me urge you to pick up 2001's luminous, under-marketed, now-cult Res cd, HOW I DO. White co-produced and wrote most of the songs.

Just a little trivia to make sure no one gets confused, there is a movie called THE BRAVE, it was made in 1997 and Directed by Johnny Depp, it stared Depp an Marlon Brando, I didn’t see the movie but I wanted to make sure there was no confusion with the other “ The Brave” everyone has been talking about, there was also another movie called “THE BRAVE one“, made in 2007 with Jodie Foster.

Gary

Another DWST site
To Erik and whomever:

Here's a site that claims you can stream DWST for free. They want you to install software to be able to do it so I couldn't verify. On their FAQ page they say they present material hosted on other sites so the DWST source may track back to somewhere else. Also, they have a facility to report issues with copyrighted material. The site is:

http://tvokay.com/movie/dreams-with-sharp-teeth.htm

What global warming means to me

A Poem by Henry Gibson
===============
Okay, that's all I have...a title. Somebody else can take it from there.

Isn't that what we are looking for? A short amusing little piece that will allay our fears so we can go back to our humdrum lives?

"Ignorance is bliss"

How simple it must be to go through life not knowing anything. Once I realized how easy simpletons have it, I began to fully understand why some people of obviously superior creative skills and intelligence were frequently alcoholics or drug addicts---they were trying to escape their thoughts, the ideas that were constantly drumming through their brains, ideas and concepts that others couldn't grasp or refused to grasp.

Catastrophic Global Climate Change is a better name than Global Warming for what is happening. But that is too many words for the lazy common man. Common Man simply wants to enjoy his beer, his sports, his sex life for as long as possible until he dies. Common Man is ignorant.
=================

Saturday last, I mowed my lawn. Not because the grass had grown, but because the weeds had grown. It had been a full 4 weeks between mowings, but the grass had not grown. We are/were in the middle of a drought. Yet if one checks the local weather history, one finds that the amount of rainfall is near normal. The corn crop yields this year are going to be horribly small here in SW Michigan. The ears are very small. Some are so small that they have not enough weight to properly droop over on the stalks. I have never seen this before.

We are having more and more storms with torrential rains, followed by weeks without any rain.

Now some will say this is just anecdotal evidence. That is true, but anecdotal evidence us being reported all around the world showing the same kinds of events. Even just using common sense tells one something is happening. But common sense doesn't mean anything to the Common Man, as Common Man just wants to go with gut feelings. Common Man worships our current president. Current president says the science of global warming is not exact, therefore don't worry. For he who says to me

"Don't worry; be happy"

I say blow me.
=========

And this is not an attack on KOS, as I don't see antagonism in his post that others are seeing. I read it more as an explanation of how or why the 'consensus' approach might be flawed.

Various
Erik, I know you're certainly well ahead of me on this, so do not frame this as advice to you, but I have looked over that site and am reporting to the groupmind that payback does not need to be a lonely, solo quest. The thieves proudly brag that they have lots of movies "still in theatres," and have users promising to upload entire seasons of TV shows "as soon as they're aired!" There are ARMIES of lawyers, from multiple studios, who will not take kindly to this. So this may simply be a manner of whispering in the big bully's ear, and joining the charge.

Brian Siano: I'm not terribly fond of Laurell K. Hamilton's work either, not the least because I had to review one novel I barely got through and received half a dozen hate mails from Hamilton readers disgusted at me for giving their idol some mild criticism in the process. That, however, was my one and only exposure to her work. I cannot testify to the quality of her short story in THE LIVING DEAD. I do, however, repeat that I'm already familiar with and deeply love the contributions by Dale Bailey, Poppy Z. Brite, George R.R. Martin, Dan Simmons, our host in collaboration with Robert Silverberg, Joe Hill, among others, enough to testify that the collection in general will be a terrific one even if the one piece by Hamilton turns out to not live up to the general standard. (Whether mine does is not up to me to say, but to hell with that, false modesty sucks, it has been called one of the best in the book. Among that company. So Fuck it.) Hell, it's worth the price of admission for the Dale Bailey story, "Death and Suffrage," in which zombies come back to vote, ALONE.

Josh: Interesting. I confess that I've never seen the movie made of THE BRAVE, merely heard that it was great, and judged that likely because of the novel. Maybe this requires further investigation. On another front, I report that a local acquaintance recently bent my ear about this wonderful movie he just caught up with on video, A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE, which was about ten times better than he expected it to be, about ten times better written than he expected it to be, and had a performance by William Hurt that was to die for. I let him go on for a while before telling him that a) I'd seen it twice, and b) would pass his wild enthusiasm to the screenwriter. I know you've heard the like before, but I suppose you don't get tired of it.

Con Census
KOS: "There's more than a little discussion here and there as to how much "consensus" there actually is on Global Climate Change. "

WHY?

The notion that there is some kind of actual controversy in the scientific community over climate change is bunk. There is no more REAL scientific controversy over this than there is over evolution or creationism.

The problem is that there are pieces out there like the popular one by Lord Christopher Monckton claiming to "scientifically debunk" global warming. Monckton isn't a scientist. His piece was not peer reviewed and he is not affiliated with any major academic or scientific organization. He is the chief advisor for the Science and Public Policy Institute (SPPI), on whose site he promotes his piece. The SPPI was formed by a conservative think tank that was funded by Exxon Mobile. Yes, it's been shown to be a critically flawed piece and as a non-peer-reviewed article it holds little water with the scientific community. But to your average joe who believes in black helicopters and second shooters this actually makes it more appealing as it gives the appearance of some rebel being shouted down and silenced by the Evil League of Liberal Humanistic Scientists or some such nonsense.

You can find scientists that will tell you cigarettes do not contribute to lung cancer. You can find scientists that will tell you we never landed on the moon. This does NOT mean there is controversy. It means a large enough population will always contain a fringe with a few sellouts and wackos.


The basics of the findings on global warming / climate change (basically the IPCC's 2001 report claiming, in brief, that human activity has had a major impact on climate change in the last 50 years) have been endorsed by every single national academy of science of every major industrialized nation.

The following scientific bodies/organizations support this finding:
- International Council of Academies of Engineering and Technological - - Sciences
- European Academy of Sciences and Arts
- Network of African Science Academies
- National Research Council (US)
- European Science Foundation
- American Association for the Advancement of Science
- Federation of American Scientists
- World Meteorological Organization
- American Meteorological Society
- Royal Meteorological Society (UK)
- Australian Meteorological and Oceanographic Society
- Canadian Meteorological and Oceanographic Society
- Canadian Foundation for Climate and Atmospheric Sciences
- International Union for Quaternary Research
- American Quaternary Association
- Stratigraphy Commission of the Geological Society of London
- International Union of Geodesy and Geophysics
- International Union of Geological Sciences
- European Geosciences Union
- Canadian Federation of Earth Sciences
- Geological Society of America
- American Geophysical Union
- American Astronomical Society
- American Institute of Physics
- American Physical Society
- American Chemical Society
- Engineers Australia (The Institution of Engineers Australia)
- Federal Climate Change Science Program (US)
- American Statistical Association

There is not a SINGLE scientific body of any national or international standing that rejects climate change.

A study of 928 papers published on climate change in peer-reviewed journals from 1993 to 2003 showed that 3/4 of the papers accepted the views of the IPCC report and NONE rejected those views.

Debate on this topic is NOT healthy. It distracts us from what SHOULD be the debate, which is (a) what can we do about climate change and (b) why we are not doing it.

KOS is right, let's wait for complete consensus on Global Warming before we rush to do anything about it. We might be doing "irreversible" damage to ourselves by treating nature with any respect. I'm glad KOS's lusting for Osama Bin Laden's blood leaves him with time on his hands to educate people on clear thinking.

Link to DWST download site
Erik Nelson:

The site is:

http://www.downloadnova.com/search.php?q=dreams+with+sharp+teeth

Loftus: Gimme a break. "Almost always" was used by me BECAUSE I can think of counter-examples. I took care to NOT write an unqualified "always" because I am "bright" enough to think of any number of possible exceptions to my "rule".

You accuse me of being disingenuous. That's a pretty good example of "poisoning the well" to prevent any further discourse.

I particularly cherish the "Wisenheimer". Reminds me of the time in Ninth Grade when my maxed out score on some Aptitude Test were perused by some classroom comic manqu, His charming comment was: "You fucking Einstein!" That's showing 'em.

To quote the next president of these United States: "Enough!"

Good luck Erik.

KOS

Wasamattah you?
Yo, Ellisoni. Thinka you so tough witha you words and you books? I'ma right here, ciombota. You and me go take a walk, here. You comin' here with you face and say that to me in front of you paisan? Bacha ma cula! I leta you go this time, but next time I breaka you face. Capeesh?

Malatesta

wisenheimers


KOS:

You might receive a little more respect around here -- from me, anyway -- if you managed to convey your considerable erudition with less blatant condescension. Give a little, get a little. We all know how our esteemed Mr. Ellison can dismantle those with whom he disagrees -- and appropriately so, when and because they have DESERVED it -- but if the issue of global warming were as unclear and as debatable as you pretend it to be, and therefore worthy of fair-minded debate because it is "only" a factual and not a political matter -- then your posts wouldn't display the need to tease and demean those with whom you so clearly disagree . . . while trying to speak as if you were the only objective person in the room.

You wrote:

:: A rush to "Do Something" when the facts are not fully known or understood
:: is almost always counter-productive.

That sounds marvelously and sweepingly final, but of course one counter-example would destroy it as erroneous. I'll bet you can think of one. You're intelligent enough.

The Legacy of a Lifetime
Harlan,

In a recent post you mentioned "The University that stores my papers..." To which university are you referring? I haven't seen this mentioned before and would love to know where a scholar can access your literary legacy.

Steve Barber: I know exactly what it is about Sarah Palin that I dislike. She sees dissenters as enemies, the doubts of others as disloyalties, and governance as a matter of being among the powerful and facilitating for efforts. She seems amazingly uncurious about everything beyond her self-image as a maverick. Every time I've seen her speak, I get the sense that when she's talking policy, she's reciting a script that's been given to her so she'll seem responsible, but she hasn't given a thought to anything like foreign policy or technological advancement. And when she's at her most Sarah-like, she's a snide, sarcastic bully who despises the powerless. Her line about community organizers having no responsibilities was probably her most revealing moment: she sees party hacks and corporate leaders as worthwhile citizens, and she sees do-gooders and activists as pests to be crushed.

I can't say much about Laurell K. Hamilton, except that a lot of my friends, and a recent girlfriend, read a lot of this new wave of vampire romance stuff (Hamilton, Nora Roberts/J.D. Robb, etc.). I was impressed with Anne Rice when she wrote her first two books, and Poppy Brite was a severely adventurous and disturbing writer. But what little I've read of this stuff was just bad pornography.

Both good porn and bad porn can get you aroused. Bad porn is when you get the sense that the writer's arousal has really _limited_ them, in a way-- as though their getting aroused has cut off whatever higher brain functions they might've had. The dialogue grows formal, stilted, more like a recitation than actual speech. The plot's contrived to get more fucking into the story. The only emotions present are those that serve the fetish.

I mean, Neil Gaiman could write a sex scene with a vampire, and you'd care about what kind of mood they'll be in when showering the next day. This stuff, on the other hand, are just furry-level grunt-fantasies stitched onto templates of "night" and "dark" and "mythos" and whatever other buzzwords move the pulp these days.

There is something very... disturbing... about Sarah Palin in the Charles Gibson/ABC interviews excerpts I've seen. Her answers, given in a tone of voice akin to "talking down" to a child, are pat and filled with the sort of evangelical "you don't get this so I'm going to make it easy for you" patter usually reserved for a pastor. It's not her politics, it's her mannerisms.

I'm just a little creeped out.

'*shudder*'

My fwenz...my fwenz...my fwenz...

I wuz a war prisoner for 5 years. I know what it's like to have things tuff...

My fwenz...my fwenz...my fwenz...My fwenz...my fwenz...my fwenz...

I wuz a war prisoner for 5 years. I know what it's like to have things tuff...

My fwenz...my fwenz...my fwenz...

I wuz a war prisoner for 5 years. I know what it's like to have things tuff...

My fwenz...my fwenz...my fwenz...

I wuz a war prisoner for 5 years. I know what it's like to have things tuff...

My fwenz...my fwenz...my fwenz...

I wuz a war prisoner for 5 years. I know what it's like to have things tuff...

My fwenz...my fwenz...my fwenz...

I wuz a war prisoner for 5 years. I know what it's like to have things tuff...

My fwenz...my fwenz...my fwenz...

I wuz a war prisoner for 5 years. I know what it's like to have things tuff...

Direct Answer

The anthology in question, THE LIVING DEAD, has reprinted zombie stories. The story, an old collaboration by Harlan and Robert Silverberg, is "The Song the Zombie Sang." Clive Barker, Stephen King, Joe Hill, Joe Lansdale, and Kelly Link also have stories therein, as do I. I am familiar with most of the contents and can testify to their kick-assedness. Miss the collection at your peril.

Please post the link....
.....of "Dreams" web "marketers" NOW!

Not authorized, not authorized, not cool. Stern measures will be taken, if, in fact, they aren't some wanker "send money and we'll send you movie when WE get it" site.

Someone is about to feel the "cleansing sting of superior Yankee Firepower".

Let's not let the "small gangster of 74 years" know about this, yet.

Thanks,
Erik

It has been brought to my attention that an anthology available September 29 includes a short story by Harlan Ellison.

http://www.amazon.com/Living-Dead-Stephen-King/dp/1597801437/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1221178355&sr=8-1

I have two questions.

1) What is the title of the short story included?

2) How is it possible to bind together material by Harlan Ellison alongside the offal of Laurell K. Hamilton?

Harlan, I heard a rumor you once caused LKH to weep. The thought made me smile.

Piracy?
Just discovered a site that is offering downloads of something titled "Dreams With Sharp Teeth", and the file size of 1.35 Gigabytes certainly fits that to be expected for a feature length film. They are offering membership on the site for US$4.87, allowing one to download this and other files once paid.

I purposefully avoid mentioning the sites name, for now. Is this an authorized release? If Erik or Harlan wants to know more, "speak "friend", and enter."

KOS

Hey Frankie
Try these on for size:

Ignorance is curable if you aren't too stupid

and

If Microsoft ever makes something that doesn't suck, it will probably be a vacuum

Don't know where the last one is from, but if ya use the first one, please give all credit to one Vance Lear of SF CA!

Lori

Keeney, gotta one up you, man.

"Ignorance is the Cauldron we stir our insecurities."

Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Keeney, we quip meisters. Yobbles.

Cookies and The World As We Know It
I bought Hydrox last week at the Vons located on the corner of Hamner and Limonite in Mira Loma, CA. That is right off the 15 Freeway about eight miles north of the 91/15, and about two miles south of the 60/15 interchanges. Basically a half hour from The OC and an hour from LA.

I don't know if they still have tnem, or if other Vons ever had them.

"The Precautionary Principle" and the "consensus" on Global Warming:

Science and consensus have had problems in the past. I'll write the names "Semmelweiss" and "Wegener" and let those that are interested do their own research as to how well consensus has worked in the past with science.

There's more than a little discussion here and there as to how much "consensus" there actually is on Global Climate Change. I won't take sides there: for myself it's irrelevant. My problem is that "science" is not about consensus. It's about facts. As Karl Popper wrote, (paraphrasing) it's "science" if a scientist can put her observations in the form of a letter, mail them ro another scientist, and he can obtain the same results as the letter writer.

There's all sorts of data and conflicting interpretations of the data. When you have this situation, consensus is just an opinion poll, not a logical or rational approach. The facts don't care what people THINK are the facts. They are what they are.

A rush to "Do Something" when the facts are not fully known or understood is almost always counter-productive.

There is a type of logic used in such a situation, called "Bayesian Analysis". It says that when confronted with a situation where you don't fully understand what is happening, the best thing to do is to act to reduce uncertainty by putting your resources (money, time, peoples lives) into better understanding of what is going on. Gather more and better data. Refine your understanding of that data, so that your actions in response to a crisis are the best possible actions, and don't unwittingly make the problem worse. Time and money are always limited, so make the uncertainties as small as possible without endangering yourself needlessly.

You're the captain of a ship in a storm: Be sure that the ship is heading for the rocks when someone tells you that is the case, and then be sure that in turning your ship away from the rocks that you don't run aground on a reef you didn't know was there.

For those who think that We Already Know Enough, the above won't mean anything. They will still want to Do Something Now. For those who think Nothing Is Happening, they will still bury their heads in the sand,. For the rest of us, though, it offers a course of action that will actually move forward rationally while not rushing into anything irreversible.

There's been too much "Poisoning of the Well" by some advocates of the "Consensus". They want to cut off discussion by labeling anyone who doesn't believe in the Consensus as either a Fool or a Dupe. Some even equate Consensus questioning as the moral equivalent of Holocaust Denial, and want it made a crime, similar to Holocaust Denial in some countries.

It's all about Questioning Authority, and Asking The Next Question.

By the way, Bayesian Analysis proves that Hydrox kick Oreo's ass.

Read more, do your homework on all sides. You can start with "What is Bayesian Analysis?"

http://www.bayesian.org/

"Scientific inquiry is an iterative process of integrating accumulating information. Investigators assess the current state of knowledge regarding the issue of interest, gather new data to address remaining questions, and then update and refine their understanding to incorporate both new and old data. Bayesian inference provides a logical, quantitative framework for this process. It has been applied in a multitude of scientific, technological, and policy settings."

KOS

garsh
Unca Harlan,

It's all me.

With my most my humble thanks,
Rick

A couple things
First, if you have a flag and a pole to put it on I think today is a good day to put it out. Either all the way up the pole or half way.

Second, KOS (or anyone local), have you found Hydrox in So. Cal? If so where? I've looked at Albertson's, Stater Bros. and Ralph's with no luck. Still have to find a Safeway, if they are still around.

A good day to all here.

RICK KEENEY:

I am blown away by your remark: "Death is a fence that won't take whitewash." Is it yours afresh, or is it an aphorism you know from another source? Family saying? From a book?

I have GOT to know.

It is breathtaking!

Please advise.

Purely knocked out, Yr. Pal, Harlan

BEN WINFIELD:

Excellent question, previously unasked and...

Previously unthought either by me or Josh...

Or ANYONE!

But now that you've generated the idea, I have already contacted a good publisher, and it is in the works for a novella-length book with the original story, the entire unedited teleplay, and possibly two short essays--one by Josh, one by me--on the collaborative process that brought "The Discarded" into being.

I have a hunch that when/if, there will be a Ben Winfield acknowledgment in the introductory pages.

Oh, and for anyone curious, the money split on the book will be a straight 50-50, despite Olson's megalomaniacal screeching that all monies should be divvie 85-09, in his favor.

Thanks, Ben. Yr. Pal, Harlan

YO, MALATESTA!

I'm a-know from "stronzo" a same as you.

You laugh, shtrunz'...I'm-a come kicka you ass, El Wappo!

Yr. Paisano, Arlano

Highly Recommended Reading
Roy Edroso is a NY-based blogger and is one of the finest writers I've ever encountered. Here he is going after a recent piece by THE ATLANTIC's pompous-ass-in-residence, Megan McArdle, in a righteous snit that is a joy and wonder to behold. Give it a go.

http://alicublog.blogspot.com/2008_09_07_archive.html#2383708284383540687

Very sorry to hear about Gregory McDonald. I read, I think, every Fletch novel, as well as the Flynns (I think there was more than one. Could be wrong) a long time ago, and absolutely loved them. I never acquired a taste for Chevy Chase in the role, and was appalled at how they turned an arch, sly thriller into a schlocky schtick-fest. Hollyood has an increasingly hard time dealing with the kind of tone McDonald was so good at.

I had no idea The Brave was based on one of his. Now I'll have to track it down. The DVD of the Depp flick's pretty easy to find. Amazon UK has it for about ten bucks, but you'll need an all region player. Honestly, I gotta say, I found it painfully dull.

As for the script to The Discarded, that's a question for Unca Harlan.

BUTTER

This is a rather trivial matter to bring up on the anniversary of 9/11. Harlan's "Butter wouldn't melt" comment was referring, I'm sure, to the saying "Butter wouldn't melt in his mouth," or her mouth ... meaning someone who is so cool, butter wouldn't melt in their mouth.

I believe I've heard it used in reference to, say, a woman who was so cold, as in frigid, that butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. So when a man says of a woman, "butter wouldn't melt in her mouth," it's definitely not a compliment.

So, noodle no more, Mr. Goldberg. I'm sure Harlan was just telling you to be so cool and calm and collected that butter wouldn't melt in your mouth ...

thanks
Thanks Lori, have filed that away. One mistake a year ? How about one an hour ?JZ

Depp, McDonald and Ewen oh my
In the only segement of BIOGRAPHY that I ever watched, the Johnny Depp installment, I seem to remember THE BRAVE being discussed favorably. I know I've been looking for a copy of the novel ever since.

I don't like it when people die. Death is a fence that won't take whitewash.

Robb Ewen, pls email me.

Rick

Gregory McDonald
Gregory McDonald was best known for creating Fletch, the wisecracking investigative reporter who, after the events in the first novel (also called FLETCH) became saddled with independent wealth he did not want. McDonald subsequently went back and forth in his chronology, telling stories set before Fletch's enrichment, and afterward, so many years afterward that he eventually started telling stories of Fletch's equally formidable son.

The Fletch novels were terrific fun, written in an extremely spare style that was mostly fast-paced dialogue that made a lot of room for wisecrackery without leaving out the heart. (My favorite aside from the original was FLETCH AND THE WIDOW BRADLEY). In one, Fletch ran up against a Boston cop named Francis Xavier Flynn with a highly unusual past, and yes, there were a couple of Flynn novels as well.

FLETCH was made into a successful movie (and awful sequel) with Chevy Chase, that captured maybe 50% of how special Fletch was, mostly in those places where it stuck to the original and didn't get too much Chevy Chase on it. The ending, one of the slyest victories by a detective hero in mystery history (heh, I rhymed), was one of the things softened for the film, which went much with a much more conventional gets-the-girl. Trust me. The book's ending was unrelentingly funny, and so perfect that it was enough to make you whoop.

So, a bunch of fun mystery novels.

And then there's THE BRAVE.

THE BRAVE is the story of a young homeless man, living on the streets with his wife and child, who agrees to "star" in a sadistic snuff film in exchange for a big cash payout. Because he's part native American, he even agrees to wear feathers and war paint while being carved to pieces. The nature of what he's
agreeing to is described to him at length, in one of the most horrifying chapters you'll ever read -- so dark, in fact, that McDonald's preface gives his readers full permission to skip it if necessary, with the assurance that this will not affect understanding of the plot later on. The protagonist takes a small amount of cash up front to take to his family, for his last two days with them, with the patently false understanding that when he comes back, his employers will play straight with him and make sure his family gets the rest.

It's a given that our protagonist is not only desperate, but not too bright, and that he has no idea how the handle his sudden, and to him, undreamt-of windfall. (He triumphantly buys his family a giant turkey, even though they have no way to cook it.) The book follows his last two days of life, his interactions with his fellow hopeless, his abandonment of a family that will not benefit from his sacrifice. It is so black it is ultra-violet, and angry that anybody has to live in such straits, but it is not without its own streak of character-based humor.

THE BRAVE is MacDonald's dark masterpiece. I have yet to meet anybody who read it who wasn't blown away by it. It naturally did not sell nearly as well as his more conventional crime stories, and he soon returned to more Fletch and Son of Fletch.

THE BRAVE was also made into a movie with Johnny Depp and, in one of his last roles, Marlon Brando. You probably haven't heard of it. Nobody would take responsibility for showing it in the United States. It has been shown in Europe, where some hailed it as a great film. Depp has said he thinks it's one of his best films. The idiot entertainment media of our country occasionally mentions it, describing it unseen as a "bomb" and a "disaster." (In entertainment journalism speak, a "bomb" is anything that doesn't sell tickets, even if it IS a great film.) It's not available on home video in the United States. You will likely never see it, not even if you go out of your way to try.

Farewell to Gregory McDonald.

Gregory McDonald
Shit.

The FLETCH and FLYNN novels were great fun, but THE BRAVE could make you weak in the knees.

SEPT 11
My thoughts are with you all across the pond on this particular day.

Rob E.

My Bad
"Santi White", not "Shanti Smith".

What is UP with that mistake?

KOS

Gregory Mcdonald, R.I.P.
1937-2008

Greg wrote - most famously - the FLETCH and FLYNN mysteries, as well as other novels, such the incredibly moving THE BRAVE. He was a really great guy whose work easily taught me as much about writing as Harlan's.

http://www.gilesnews.us/Stories/080909JournalistsLoseOneoftheirOwn.html

Santogold. Check 'em out. Shanti Smith, lead singer for Satnogold (often called Santogold herself) is one of those voices that comes along once every few years. They can remind you of someone, Siouxsie or Debby Harry, but then they hit you with something like "L.E.S. Artistes " or "My Superman" that surprise you with their range. Not to mention pop anthems like "Say Aha" and "Lights out".

It's really good.

Though I still think Southern Culture On The Skids is this worlds greatest band. Psychobilly pop with surf guitar and Big Hair lead singer. Dirt Track Date and Plastic Seat Sweat are their best collections.

Their songs are like soundtracks to a Howard Waldrop story.

Ralph Nader in a news conference with a Green, a libertarian and Ron Paul. This sounds like one of those jokes involving a gun with only two bullets. What a world.

KOS

HARLAN or JOSH,

Sorry if this question`s already been asked before, but is there any possibility of your screenplay for THE DISCARDED television adaptation becoming publicly available at some point down the lineÉ

Eye Thank You, and Debbie's Eye Thanks You
Thank you all for your good wishes. As Harlan put it, yep, it sure has been some SCARY shit.

Harlan, Debbie thanks you for the hug and good wishes. You may not have anything to offer by way of been there-done that assurances, but I now do. We just came back from her 6 day post op visit and Dr. Retina has blessed the operation as a success and he doesn't need to see her again for another month. Her eye is no longer swollen shut, so I no longer need to walk in public with her and ignore the "when did you last beat your wife" stares, though it is quite red and still a few millimeters from completely open. The pain, and thus the vicodin, is mostly gone.

Thus, yes, we can offer been there-done that assurances over this very yicky surgery. Then, again, here's hoping anyone who has to go through it can go through it with someone as skilled and respected as Dr. Pravin Dugal: A well meaning doc who travels every couple of weeks to the distant native american reservations up near Tuba City, Arizona where he treats those who cannot afford to truck down here to the Valley of the Sun from reservations far and wide. He may not be a jokester, but he sits still while you ask every question you can think of, and gives answers beyond the usual, "nothing is 100%."

.....and he can sew a wicked eyeball!

-TODD (and DEBBIE "Popeye" CASSEL)

a note to John Zeock
Moles are much smaller then Voles.....

But, you're entiteld to one mistake a year, so you can get away with this one! *L* Be careful though!!

lori

Arlano! 2007-04-24 Possible I-a mention date before so possible Tim a-know alread. I put-a expense on-a paper with-a next ship-men. Chico

spirir
To Michael Rapoport-if Frank Miller says that I can take him at his word. For me it's a damn shame that Harlan didn't write the script.( I remember him going over his opening sequence in an interview) I think Eisner's vision was so informed by his reading and film viewing and radio and so much more and while Harlan's experience may not be the same-it's close. It's a comics version of Heisenberg,sorta,kinda,in that by doing the Spirit in a universe where the Spitit has been done...well,actually it's nothing like Heisenberg but what the hell...I feel better about it and my shrew size qualm is now vole size (which should mean smaller,unless I'm messing that one up too.

Keith

Here is a link that might help you with your need for information
on global warming

http://www.pewclimate.org/global-warming-basics

I think one of the best arguments against the global warming nay saying crowd is simply the precautionary principle. Given the consequences of ignoring the "potential" (potential in quotes given the widespread agreement in the climatoligical community about both climate change and our effect on it) impacts, it is best to take a precautionary approach to the issue. Couple the elimination of the potential environmental catastrophe ssociated with continued use of fossil fuels with the benefits of reducing carbon emissions and the associated inputs of contaminants (lead, mercury, PAHs, etc) to our environment, eliminating dependence on petro-dictatorships and the economic benefits of the developing replacement technologies, and I can see no downside to assuming that global warming is real and that the problem needs to be addressed as soon as possible. The only negatives I can see are the diversion of funds and resources away from other important issues (many of which are related to the continued use of fossil fuels and energy issues in general) to which we should but don't pay attention and reducing profits for oil companies. It all boils down to cost benefit analysis.

Stronzo? I laugh.

PERSONAL TO JAN

Your contact in Krakow sent through the Polish edition of the McSweeney's anthology; it arrived today, in perfect shape. Susan and my Archive and I all thank you for your Splendid Help!

Two loose ends:

1) Please let us know what we owe you.

2) Could you find out, either from your own unique sources, or through your Krakow correspondent, the MONTH of publication in 2007? The University that stores my papers--and Tim Richmond, who is doing the exhaustive FINGERPRINTS ON THE SKY bibliography for early publication--really get off on such data.

Thanks in advance, thanks again for the book, and blahblahblah.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

Asimov and environment
Keith,
In 1991 Asimov wrote "Our Angry Earth" with Frederik Pohl about environmental issues. I have read parts of it but not all and what I remember of their predictions ring pretty true. It is not just a matter of the increasing temperature but weather getting more dynamic in general. The hots are hotter, colds are colder, wets are wetter and droughts longer. Seems we are having our "hundred year floods" about once a decade now and also experiencing years of drought. The book is worth looking for.

Todd, best wishes to you and your wife, please keep us informed as to how she is doing.

KOS, just an update that Franken did win the DFL nomination but even I, an ardent Democrat in Minnesota, am pessimistic about his chances in November. First, while Franken did win the nomination, 30% of the delegates voted for an independent woman who just entered the primary campaign 6 weeks ago. Combine that with the fact that Al has run a piss-poor campaign, allowing that slimeball Coleman to dictate the coverage of the race, and the fact that he has tariled in every state poll, and his chances of winning ain't good. Also, Al is so afraid to be funny or show a personality for fear of being branded a comedian that he comes across much stiffer than he should. Even though Coleman is very vulnerable, I do not think that MN will be one of the states that goes from Red to Blue in the Senate column.

As for Palin, it looks like she never specifically asked for books to be banned. She asked the Head Librarian how she would feeel about removing "objectionable" books and dropped the subject when the Librarian expressed outrage. I am sure that this Librarian's dismissal shortly thereafter had NOTHING to do with that conversation. Why does the phrase "will no one rid me of this meddlesome priest" ring in my mind.....

Finally, I just got off the phone with my lawyer. My ex's lawyer said that he did not have sufficient time to prepare so he asked the judge for more time. The judge now needs to decide if he will give them more time or will issue a ruling. In the meantime, my credit rating continues to plummet, and I continue to twist in the wind. Harlan has advised me to be cool, and I am trying as best as I am able (still have not deciphered the butter comment he made, but I continue to noodle it over). At this point, nearly 2 years after separating, I cannot adequately express to you how much I desperately want this situation resolved.....

Keith,

I always wondered what it was like backstage in that old dump.

Thanks again for doing this.

another long post
Yesterday I went to the Arlington Cinema 'n' Drafthouse to pick up the 2 copies of Dreams with Sharp Teeth they tested on their system for the upcoming show on October 5th. The tests worked, and the show is on. However, for some reason they called me and wanted me to take possession of the movies.

When I got there I found out why.

I was attempting to interpret and follow hand-gesture directions given to me by an Hispanic gentlemen who spoke no English, but who knew where to tell me to go when I asked him where I could find the General Manager, Scott. I dove into the dark theater, located a dim stairwell, next to the men’s room and a pay phone, that seemed to go through the outside wall of the theater and into another building. The stairs were tough to climb; they seemed steeper than normal, and there were items sitting on them. They may have been concrete. The paint on the walls was flaking. I made it to the top and found myself at the end of a long hallway, and I could see a tall, big guy moving boxes around in a cluttered room through the door at the end. I started toward him and announced myself by telling him my name and that I was looking for the GM, Scott.

He said he was Scott.

Then I told him what I was there for. And then I stopped and looked around. I noticed 5 foot long loops of thick film rubber-banded together and hung on pegs on the wall, reaching down to the floor. And old square boxes with handles on them that looked, to me, like antique bowling ball cases. And huge round metal tins, bigger than a steering wheel on a truck, with square yellow labels on them. And it was all a confusion and hodgepodge. It would be a miracle to find anything in there.

“I’ve never been this far backstage before,” I told him. He handed me the DWST movies, and, since he seemed to be very busy, and not at all in a talkative mood, I made my way out.

What a neat, brief, glimpse into another world.

-Keith

PS – Brain Phillips, I wrote a few pages in response to your query the other day, but decided the tone was wrong, and it was too long to post. In this day and age, when everyone graduates from pre-school, Kindergarten, and each grade up through middle and high-school, the purpose has been watered down and made dilute, so they no longer mean anything. And while a rite of passage ceremony might serve to bring people of a like mindset closer together, it also further separates them from everyone else. Rite of passage ceremonies serve more the culture that puts them on, than the individuals participating. So I think it hurts more than it helps, which is my take on organized religion as well. In fact, if you look at rite of passage ceremonies as indoctrinations, you probably have a better understanding of my perspective on it.

PPS – I am in a debate with my brother in law now about whether or not global warming is happening, AND if it is caused by people. I have discovered a disturbing thing in my lengthy debate with him: I know virtual nothing about it, and the science does not seem to be cut and dried. Frankly right now I’m treading water, because I’m not a scientist (he isn’t either, but his dual major of Psychology and Computer Science, and the fact that he graduated Valedictorian, so he’s no intellectual slouch, has more fully prepared him to talk stats and numbers and science, than me, with my own home-grown non-college liberal education). Does anyone know if Asimov wrote a book on it? I am hanging, and need to know more about this topic.

HARLANS RIDE
A 1947 Parkard!, wow, now that is one fine automobile, as a small time gear head I do love that “streamline” look, that big loooong hood, great power, plenty of room in the back seat for parking in the moonlight, what more could you ask for?, I bet when you pull it out of the garage and motor around the city those little compacts get the hell out of your way, I know I would.

Gary

Seems Palin never banned library books afterall. CNN said it was an internet rumour. I guess we were duped.

If the media keeps defending Palin it's over.

---------------

Todd, much peace to Debbie and you.

You seem safe. Snicker.

hugs and kisses republicanssssssssss.

---------------

Somebody give Harlan a tums.

Zeebadawhoozis
What Harlan's talking about is the equivalent of my interest in stereo. I know folks who have racked floor-to-ceiling systems, with equalizers and whatnot, who swear that their setup is incrementally better than the one that had seventeen components instead of eighteen. You know what we have in our house? What used to be known as a ghetto blaster. It is enough to serve the limited sophistication of our own ears (which will be getting worse as time goes on, in any event). This hasn't stopped stereo proponents from bending our ear with what we "should" have. But we don't need to spend thousands to have state of the art when we don't need state of the art.

Todd:

Hope things work out for you and Debbie and that she'll be seeing clearly soon. Youse is good eggs.

Sandra:
Sorry for all your family and friend problems. I hope the jackanapes helps keep things lighter for you.

KOS:

In reference to your allergies -- I feel your pain, bro. I feel your pain.

Chuck

A little piece on Maurice Sendak.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/10/arts/design/10sendak.html?th&emc=th

If only Thomas Disch could have stayed as strong. Don't let the bastards win.

Todd~ my father-in-law had a similar procedure. The details are different, it wasn't a full detachment, they had to get in behind there, and he had to stay awake (which is why there was, in his words, "Hell yes, a lot of pain."), but that was a few months ago, and he is peachy keen now. Be of good cheer, and well wishes, speedy recovery for Debbie.

Sandra, my thoughts and my heart go out to your friend.
You are a serious inspiration for us all. Did you get a reply RE my letter of recommendation for beatification yet? With luck, it won't go into effect until 2100. Smooch.

Diane~ I love the word 'loverly'. Use it myself.

Something else, I can't remember.
Perhaps Tomorrow.

thanks Unca Harlan
for bringin' back the sizzle, for sayin' it like it is, for telling the emperor that his dick is in plain sight

oh yeah.

Rick

Todd,

I wish your wife well, and I hope she gets thru all that.

My girlfriend's mother has glaucoma, and your story reminded me of what SHE'S been going thru.

Yeah, I hope Debbie's gonna be ok.

My nickel's worth (inflation, ya know...)
First: Congrats again to Unca Harlan and Auntie Susan, and many many many more happies to follow. Wish I could be there to see how you like Johnny A; "Oh Yeah" is a permanent fixture on my iPod, and the rest of the album does indeed remind me of my dad's Chet Atkins albums. Kudos to Mr. Zug for the recommendation, and an enthusiastic second from me.

As to neologisms and obfuscation... I try to be as direct and succinct as I can in my own communications, which doesn't always work out the way I'd planned. The few times I've been driven to actual physical violence, it's been due to frustration over stupid, self-perpetuating misunderstandings between *other* people. It worries me, at times. Mainly, though, it just makes me all the more determined to do my best to try to make my own meanings as clear as I can, even in the face of deliberate misinterpretations. (My wife has four children, three of whom are sixteen or older. I've heard it said that anyone who argues with a teenager has already lost.)

I'm delighted that the common term for those who set out to stir up trouble on the Internet is "troll". I like those sorts of layers of meaning, as much as I dislike that sort of behavior itself.

Todd: I'm mentally beaming well wishes your way and your wife's. I took up wearing sunglasses as a habit years ago when my mother had to have both eyes operated on to remove cataracts, and learned that direct exposure to sunlight might have some bearing on the condition. My wife's father (a good, stout fellow) can barely see out of his one remaining eye due to glaucoma, after years of treatment. I'm trying very hard to take good care of my own while I still can.

Steve: Thank you. You said it all much better than I would have. Dammit.

A Maid Laughing Is Half Taken
Life keeps throwing curveballs:

Al Franken is leading/will likely win the nomination of the Democratic-Farmer-Labor party's nomination for United States Senate in Minnesota.

Even if he loses, what a campaign we have to look forward to. If Franken wins, ohwowohwow. Just imagine the next six years of "Hi, Al Franken here, United States Senator from Minnesota. A few questions for the witness..."

Not to mention when he appears on The O'Reilly Factor and Bills head finally explodes.

Meanwhile my head is like a melon that has rotted in the summer sun for a week, and is slowly draining through two pin holes.

Don't ask. Allergies are like that.

Is downloaded music sufficiently lower in quality as to be noticeable to the average listener on your average sound system? I confess I could not spot the difference those few times I have downloaded music in mp3 and other conpressed formats. Since I am no audiophile, I don't know the answer.

I have been offered the opportunity to work with a young artist on an original graphic novel (remember Julia Koller, Gary? She wants to do something.) I gather that the process is something akin to that of a screenplay, but with significant differences. Can anyone guide me to a resource for this format?

Working title, so far, "The Thorn and The Rose".

KOS

THE ITALIAN REVIEW OF "DREAMS..."

CLIPPING SERVICE, JAN, et al:

I don't know about the rest of you, but ...

I fucking LOOOOOOOOOVE that review! And the translation is superb, to die for, breathtaking!!!!!

Viva Italiano!

I'm-a only love-a you pezzonovantis.

Signore Arlano Ellisoni.

DEAR LURKING TERROR:

I take no offense at your suggestions and suppositions but, if you want a reply, it is this: What Steve Barber said. In melded spades.

I have the finest sound system ever invented for playing music--Quad ElectroStatic Screens--but I play not only CDs on that system, I also play lots of vinyl, reel-to-reel, and audiocassettes. I have a perfectly serviceable Honda to get us around town, but when I want to drive out in style, I uncover my 1947 Packard. I use a telephone to speak to people I want to speak to, and do not send cold, signature-less, impersonal, e.mails. I write letters hand-typed, from a human being, an original mss. each time, and sign them with one of about 200 gorgeous fountain pens.

The point, kid, is that SOME of us don't give a shit about the planned-obsolescent techie crap. We use the level of existing technology that best produces the art, or that feels most comfortable, or that doesn't waste our time. You can run with the pack as much as you choose, just try to understand that not all of us are senile geezers: we have made the CHOICE. Because, neither are we lemmings nor sheep, gullible pawns for the Commercial Interests that would have you "upgrading" till your asses or your exchequers fell off.

What Barber said.

Respectfully, Harlan Ellison
----------------------------------------------------------------

Pursuant to the above: Oreo drove Hydrox off the market so Nabisco could dupe an entire generation. Compare. Comparison proves. And thank you, Kim Owen Smith, for the two packs of Hydrox that arrived today. I now have three double-pax in the fridge. And as I limit myself and my fat ass to but one a day...I am happily, joyously, septuagenetically happy.

Hoping y'all are the same, Yr. Pal, Harlan

Thank you, Frank, dear. So, which am I, a fanatic or a cereal killer? Help, hide the Cheerios! There is a crazy cereal killer in the house.
In serious and important news and views, belated but very Happy Anniversary wishes to Mr. and Mrs. E. Someone asked re the story of your meeting. That's one I've never heard either, but if it hasn't been talked about excessively here, I would love to hear it. It's probably too personal though, but I am a huge push over for romance.
Poor Sen. Obama is getting grief for making a silly remark about "lipstick on a pig"; he was pointing out that McCain is Bush, for all practical political purposes. The Republicans (she makes a bitter face)are trying to say the Sen. was taking a poke at Gov. Palin. I think he was trying to make a reference to making a silk purse out of a sow's ear. But even if it was a subtle, (or not so subtle dig at Gov. Palin,) it's politics. Plus they have so many horrible, insulting things regarding Senator Obama and his wife and family, I think it's late to claim unfairness now.
See, I can write just loverly when it's not late and I am not distraught and unfairly venting on you all. Apologies for that. Am I forgiven, Frank? lol. Diane
P.S. Did you all love the alliteration in the next to last paragraph, or what? D.B.

Harlan: I don't know if this is precisely on point with your discussion of what people say versus what they mean ... but in terms of using language to blur and obfuscate, the politicians currently dominating the news have nothing on corporations. You know the kind of linguistic fog I'm talking about: when a company fires 10,000 people and calls it "rightsizing the workforce," or says its corrupt CEO is resigning "to spend more time with his family."

I am a financial journalist by trade, and this sort of thing is so endemic in corporate America that it's a joke. Best current example: all the big banks and brokerage houses who've been swearing up and down for months that the bushels of crummy mortgages they own won't cause them any problems - that their business is "solid," and that the crisis in the housing and financial markets constitutes just a "temporary downturn" from which they'll soon recover. And now that they've been proven wrong, and lost many, many billions of dollars in value as a result, they're claiming "the worst is behind us." Right.

On the plus side, having to shovel through and interpret all this BS does force one to learn how to "hear what people are REALLY saying," in your words. But it's a hell of a way to get an education.

P.S. Belated happy wishes to you and Susan on your anniversary!

P.P.S. to the folks discussing the election: If you haven't already done so, check out pollster.com. It's a valuable site that agglomerates all the major polls and performs further statistical analysis on the results, to get a sense of where the race stands, state by state.

P.P.P.S. to John Zeock: Yes, I too thought the Spirit trailer seemed very Sin City-ish, but Frank Miller claims that's not the case for the film itself. He's commented on the matter on his blog at the movie's website at mycityscreams.com - check out the "To My Readers" comment from a few months ago.

TODD:

Geezus bleedin' peezus!

Give Debbie my personal hug'n'good wishes. Oboy, kiddo, that is SCARY shit. I have NOTHING to offer on this one, by way of been there-done that assuranes. Except...ever so much good luck!

Worried, Harlan

MARK ZUG REDUX:

Just ordered both the Johnny A albums. Called Josh, who pulled him up on iTunes, and put the receiver up to the pc. Guy sounded a little too "easy listening" to me, at first blush, but on a Hendrix cover he pulled a couple of licks I liked, even as brzzzzxzzzzzzz as the sound was via Olson-O-Phone.

I'll get back to you when the CDs arrive and I've had a chance to give this dude a chance at me.

Stay well, otherwise. Yr. Pal, Harlan
----------------------------------------------------------------

CHARLIE in FLORIDA:

I'm lost as to which did what with whom. But I don't think whatever path-cross involves you, has ANYthing to do with Fletcher. So, quietus, son.

-he

Re, Jan's Post re. DREAMS....
Using one of those translation devices (Yahoo, Babel Fish), that allows you to paste in copy, and click, "translate", this is the translation of the Italian Festival copy on DREAMS WITH SHARP TEETH.

To me....

"they do not belong to no category, whose intelligence takes the movements, always and only, from the most limpid intellectual honesty and worst to same himself."

...is by FAR the most perceptive thing I have read on the film to date.

"DREAMS WITH SHARP TEETH - TO FILM ABOUT HARLAN ELLISON (event n° 0) It returns on To slide the biography of Harlan Ellison the impression to have to that is had to make with a giant of the contemporary literature, with a pitiless and unstoppable critic of the society, with fine a provocatore, a stronzo. But the Harlan Jay Ellison that emerges from the documentary of Erik Nelson Dreams with sharp teeth, seems to be very more, seems to belong to that rare category of men that they do not belong to no category, whose intelligence takes the movements, always and only, from the most limpid intellectual honesty and worst to same himself. The documentary of Nelson, in Italian preview here to Mantova, travels over again the life of Ellison to all phantom, nearly always own from its point of view, that same point of view, cutting and ironic, than always Hebrew atheist of Cleveland has characterized this little one (only of stature). This is its pregio. From years '40, when, " small gangster rompicoglioni" , it made oneself to step on outside from school from the bulli of the quarter, through the years of the maturity and the writing (nearly half century from the newyorchesi beginnings today), when of all those blows were revenged, assigning to the “bad ones”, in everyone of its dreams on paper from hundreds struck to the minute, own those names, nearly as if with everyone of its personages she had a charge account, a personal matter. And while that its alternate face on the screen, put in from those of some of those who in all to these they have known it years (comprised a Robin Williams that, abandoned the Peter cloth pan, resembles finalmenente if same) someone in knows it is laughed to crepapelle. Unfortunately (or fortunately) Ellison, perhaps condemned on the screen to repeat the script, does not have the time to come down in knows it, between the public, in order to remember to these incautious spectators from risate farisaiche how much it is scomodo to have the hand powerful of a small gangster of 74 years locked on the throat, and how much face badly (or from time to time) to feel themselves well to remember the exact dimensions of own small idiocy."

I wonder if broadband would make this make more sense.

Would that be a good thing?

MARK, my good friend!

Nice to hear from you. (Still no word from NYC moles about what happened to all that sequential I, ROBOT artwork that went into the big black hole that was iBook's demise. But ah keeps on tryin', and when I hear, you will hear.)

Johnny A. Hint taken. But I am a good boy, so burn me no bootlegs, toots. I'll go buy a CD and get back to you. He does indeed sound like my kind of sweatbox musician.

Stay in touch.

As always, Yr. Pal, Harlan

"A man is what he does with his attention." -- John Ciardi

Steve beat me with his response to "Lurking," and no doubt stated the case more clearly and cogently than I would have. I'd like to add that, rather than making assumptions about Harlan's relationship to the internet, Lurking should spend some time reading Harlan's archived posts on the subject--and I mean really READING them, thoughtfully--and then perhaps he/she would realize how boorish and useless her/his advice appears to the eyes of those who have bothered to consider Harlan's words and to learn a little about the man. As well, to post so casually and ignorantly about Harlan's health so soon after he has gone over said topic in considerable detail, is to reveal yourself as lazy and uninformed.

-----------

Mark, I hope all goes smoothly in court, and that the matter is resolved in a just way.

------------

Todd, please give Debbie my best wishes and know my thoughts are with you.

------------

Sandra, may your friend have a lifetime of better moments.

D.

Dear "Lurking Terror"

What you do or do not know about how and why Harlan does what he does is irrelevant. Your assessment of his capabilities and concerns is irrelevant.

I appreciate, on behalf of Verizon, your promotion of our FiOS product. We're delighted you're an enthusiastic supporter. (Unfortunately, Harlan lives outside of Verizon franchise.)

Fortunately, those of us who are far more familiar with Broadband than you will ever be are here helping our poor tin-cup rattling semi-blind compatriot download the simple files and images he'd like to see. Unlike the younger generation, which seems to regard the internet as some sort of personal domain they can hide and tease "old folk" with, we get it.

And like some people who don't watch television or listen to the radio or read newspapers or insist vinyl might actually be superior to compressed downloads from iTunes, it's a choice not a lifestyle. The internet is not a lifestyle. If you think it is, then it clearly isn't Harlan who has the limited view.

Music and video downloaded from the net is demonstrably poorer quality than are DVDs and actual CDs. Trust me, I help put it there in my own small way.

But you'll never know the difference, nor will so many of the other "but I can download it easier than actually walking to the mailbox" consumers. You either don't care, or you simply don't hear it.

Broadband ain't the answer, kiddo, it's only a tool. Youtube ain't the media either. It's just the fulfillment of Asimov's assertion that everyone in the future will have their own channel . Doesn't mean the programming's any good, it just means that Sturgeon's Law has a whole new dimension.

I know iTunes. I know Youtube. I know the internet.

Harlan ain't missing much he'd value.

Pardons for the second post -

TODD - Best hopes and wishes for a speedy, uneventful recovery, no matter how slow it may seem. None of the senses should be taken for granted, and in some ways sight least of all. Warm thoughts for both you and Debbie.


shagin

Why Doesn't Harlan Have Broadband?
Okay.

Point one: The main reason I wrote my last post wasn't to break your balls about Hendrix/Coryell it was to tell you that you could do your own downloads. What I didn't tell you was that once you did you then could burn that on a DVD or a CD even if you wanted and watched. Now that I know that you just have dialup this makes sense now. My directions wouldn't have worked and if you're using an old computer that has an internal modem so you probably don't have a burner either, although you could watch it on your monitor.

Point Two: Broadband is now as cheap or in the ballpark of dialup. You should be able to get a cable modem for 30 dollars a month. You should be able to get FIOS for 40 bucks a month. Aren't you a Hollywood writer? I mean, you can probably afford it I'm guessing...You can get DSL lite for what you pay for dialup...I don't get it.

Point Three: You can't police the net without broadband. There's lots and lots of Harlan Ellison vids at the Youtubes and the torrent sites. Right now, you can watch "A Boy and His Dog" on the Youtubes. The whole film has been uploaded. Twice now, from my count. But videos don't work on dialup...these are things you should be doing for yourself. The entirety of "Slaughterhouse 5" has been up for a year now I think...not your work, but I'm just saying...

I could go on here, but, I mean, am I alone in thinking this? You should get broadband. Oh, that guy who posted "A Boy and His Dog", he has a message which he's posted where he says "this movie is now in the PUBLIC DOMAIN". I think he's fucking with you. But you know what, without Broadband you'll never know it...

Sincerely,

The Lurking Terror
www.threeriversonline.com

PS: You're also missing out on new markets and possibilities that you could exploit.

I think that you would like Josh Whedon's Dr. Horrible here:

http://en.sevenload.com/videos/zgJksKB-Proof-That-I-Belong-to-The-Evil-League-of-Evil

or Alan Moore's animated Watchmen:

http://en.sevenload.com/videos/xRdmzro-Watchmen-animation

These are moneymakers for Itunes. You could easily do these things for your Dream Corridors but you can't even watch them...I find this breathtaking...

PPS: One more thing: it could be that you're in declining health and just don't give a fuck. Diabetes killed both my father and my uncle. There is a guy who cured his own diabetes. His name is Ray Kurzweil. What he did is hard and involves hacking your own body but it can be done. I guess I'm hoping that you're the bold hero of "Carcinoma Angels"...I'll tell you more if you're interested...

Following up on earlier news, I just want to note that the Italian preview of DREAMS has taken place as announced and was of course mentioned in the festival diary (Italian) with a small photo of the event (7th article from top).
http://www.festivaletteratura.it/2008/cronaca.php?what=show&date=20080903
The comments are complimentary. However, apparently there was one guy in the theater who kept laughing throughout, and the writer wished Harlan had been there to shut the idiot up with his strong hands.

I'd also like to mention a new *serious* SF&F website called TOR.COM

HARLAN: On that site they have a long article by Jim Frenkel remembering St. Louiscon ('69) with you, Bloch and others. Might be worth preserving. Direct link:
http://tor.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=blog&id=3317&page=1
One of the commentators provided a link of photos from that event including four b/w photos of you. One of the captions:
“Step aside! I’m an old Carney! I’ll show you how to make cotton candy!”
Direct link to overview:
http://imageevent.com/fredcritter/sciencefictionconventions/saintlouiscon

(Note to Charlie: I didn't "post the interview", I provided a link to an overview and explained exactly what the link was for.)

I don't have dial-up, like Harlan, but in general it bothers every sensible person when people put up any sort of link without explanation or en lieu of an explanation. It's not natural to assume we're all interested in the same things.

That reminds me, Harlan, to ask you to be careful about opening links from people you don't know or that aren't explained convincingly. Otherwise you're making it very easy for people to infect your computer with a virus. Not that you would, but I thought I'd mention it. Jan

Hydrox and Spousal Eyes
So, Shane, how were those Hydrox? Do I need to check out my local Safeway, truck down to Northern and 35th (from home, or up to Northern and 35th from work)? Or will I be let down. I know I had Hydrox in my childhood, but I do not recall whether they meant anything more to me than a sugary treat.

.....and just because I've informed many on my dear wife Debbie's eye events over the past few years (wherein Harlan actually called her at home once to let her know that laser surgery was a cinch: we had quite the week since last Wednesday.

Her opthamologist referred us to a retina expert in Phoenix because he saw something he didn't like. So we truck on over to the retina expert expecting to, at worst, deal with a quick laser job like her opthamologist performed last November on her other eye to great success and no pain (confirming Harlan's comments).

Quite a shock when we were advised that her retina was already mostly detached and there was fluid in between that and the wall of the eye which means laser will be no good. We must get to surgery within 24-48 hours for a Scleral Buckle.

OK, you can all search for this procedure on the 'net, but let me summarize what this is: Patient Debbie gets put to sleep for 3 minutes so they can jab needles into the top and bottom of the eye socket to numb the area. Then she is awakened, mostly, to be wheeled into an operation where Dr. Retina takes a silicon band and wraps it around the circumference of her eye and sews it in permanently. This squeezes the eye a bit like a water balloon being squeezed at the center, which pushes the retina back against the wall where it is frozen/scarred into place.

Now we must go through months of her eye slowly healing now that it is beginning to reopen, at which point she will have to change her prescription in her glasses as, after all, the eyeball has been reshaped.

Technology is quite amazing. If it works. 90% is great odds, but we would prefer it to be 99.5%. And we would prefer it to not lead to any future detachments. And we would prefer that life get back to normal as it was last Tuesday when she was seeing fine and not too worried. In this household, stress is a great weight loss program. I'm hungry.

-TODD

Coincidental Congrats
Hello, Harlan:

Here I am surfing obliviously over to your nook for the first time in shameful ages, to find I've missed your anniversary by a scant day. Well, happy 22nd birthday party to you pair. What swell soul mates you and Susan are: a partnership that elevates by the suspenders of namesake what others call a sacrament. Grinning and hugs indeed.

Here's a name for you, submitted humbly and with no gauze of mystery: Johnny A. He's an electric guitarist who's put out two instrumental albums so far, emphatically NOT metal, but with much rocking time and dexterity as well as mood. He plays fingerstyle, having learned at Chet Atkins' knee what Frazetta learned at Pyle's. If you like the big, clean, hollowbodied Gibson sound played with spank and authority, he will please.

Hmmm, come to think of it, I'll send you a CD if you but express the fragment of such a wish. It'll sound good in there.

Yours always,
Mark Zug

spirit
I apologize if this has been mentioned already but has anyone seen the trailer for The Spirit ? It may be a fine film but the voice over suggests Sin City and Miller's take and Batman. Nothing wrong with those works as such but that's not Will's take on what is his charecter. I don't have a large qualm, maybe a shrew-sized one.JZ

Clarification anent Fletcher
Harlan, I posted the youtube thingamajib, not Fletcher. I had no idea what Fletcher was referencing as well until I googled the info in his post, which directed me to that youtube site. I was just trying to assist you, not further exacerbate the situation or waste your time. I apologize for that and I think you have known me long enuf to know I would never do that intentionally. I was truly only trying to help and I didn't think youtube was off limits since Jan had posted an interview with you in it prior to my posting. I now know better. Again, I apologize to you & Fletcher for the mix up.

MARK GOLDBERG:

Been there. Done that.

Be cool.

No, LISTEN TO ME: be fuckin' ice-slice cool, dude. Display NO anger, contumely, bitterness, pettiness. All the subliminal crap in your post MUST not bare its bloody fangs. Be so frosty but amiable, determined but likeable, that the onus falls on the other party to cozzen the judge.

I am stepping on your foot, causing you ouch, so you will hear and abide. Butter wouldn't melt, kiddo...butter wouldn't melt.

Yr. Pal, four-times divorced Harlan

A WORD TO THE WEBDERLAND CONSTITUENCY

The jeremiad just posted. Excuse my intrusion on the election back&forth, but I sometimes get overboiling with behavior that purports innocence, yet which even vest-pocket psychology demands we view other than submissively, through a glass darkly, or by the pretense--as with Sarah Palin's nomination--that the dissembler is dealing in reality, rather than utter comicbook flummery. This may open an interesting topic, however: hearing what people are REALLY saying--such as "uppity" or "family values" or "we have put in more rows of seats, closer and narrower, for your passenger convenience"--rather than the cultural overlay that corrupts language to obfuscate. How many of you practice this sort of aural "body language" that informs my every day, not to mention my behavior here, as with Mr. Fletcher?

Yr. Pal, Harlan

TIME--WASTING REPLY TO CHAS FLETCHER

No, you ungracious twit, YOU wasted my time. You, like every self-absorbed superannuated adolescent rampant on the web, MUST toss out every vagrant thought or obsession or jot of rancid undigested potato that absolves you of taking note that you are an attention-seeking drub. Like a baby or a kiten, you need to have every shiny object move.

1) "Did I ask you to look at YouTube," you wrote. The answer, though you won't like it, is YES. Absolutely. Intentionally. Purposely. Your rude, pugnacious and kneecapable reply notwithstanding. You come to the one place in the internet world where you KNOW you'll catch my attention, and you post a nitwit site that YOU want ME to see, for your own dumbass reasons, and when I am polite enough to acknowledge the implicit solicitation for me to GO THERE and see what YOU think should be seen by ME...even then you do not get the clear message that I need clarification. Do you even then appreciate that I paid attention to your intrusion...the answer is no. Did you ask? Yes, the answer is, yes, you did. That's what ANY post on this site is: an attempt to speak to me, either directly or through those who have "me" in common.

Kindly do not be so disingenuous and stupid as to weasel out with "I didn't ASK you to go to YouTube!" If you didn't, why the fuck did you post the map to that location in the first place? THAT fumfuh won't fly, dissembler.

2) "You could've found some other way to look up Eddie Hazel. Your choice." Yeah, and if I had a propeller-beanie, I could fly to the moon.

No, Harlan responded (wanting to bitch-slap the smartass it-is-all-YOUR-fault reply from one who is too craven to take responsibility for the wrath being unleased on him for what HE thinks is a minor infraction), not only COULDN'T I look up a name I had no interest in looking up, but I wouldn't, because (as I've said every time this subject comes up, and which you obviously understood), I despise heavy metal, light metal, pseudo-metal, titanium-alloy and/or case-hardened steel metal, so why the fuck would I have any interest in looking up an "Eddie Hazel" unless someone thought I ought to. It's akin to your prodding me with a website vouchsafing how good lima beans can taste, when you know I'd rather kill than eat a lima bean, but YOU like lima beans, so let's gig Ellison and see if he twitches. Had you the common sense merely to post a message suggesting, "You might like to familiarize yourself with the music of Eddie Hazel, even if you didn't much care for Jimi Hendrix," we wouldn't be going through this shit now. But that ain't what you were after, was it? You don't give a shit if I pay attention to Eddie Hazel. You wanted to poke the bear through the bars,which is WHY, you arrant compulsive-obsessive moron, you're too cowardly to admit it's a fair cop. THAT'S what you were all-about, from the posting forward; you wanted to prod me into paying attention to your pathetic squal for notice, it's the subtext of what youwere trying to say all along, but were too imbedded in your adolescent sophomoric snotty arrogance to say simply, from the git-go. So, no, I couldn't and wouldn't have looked up "Eddie Hazel" any more than I'd look up "Snookums Doherty," if such a person exists, because it ain't necessary for me to know Snookums, or Eddie Hazel, till someone tosses him under my nose...which was YOU...

ASKING ME to look him up.

3) This is the best of ALL your lame, rude, imbecile excuses for childish and time-wasting behavior: "You could have looked at Rick Keeney's explanation..."

Yeah, I COULD HAVE, except that HIS polite reply of kindly clarification came in AFTER my posts to you. Not once, I posted, asking you to stop speaking in tongues and just SAY what the fuck it was all about--but twice! Now, you may not like my MANNER of asking for simple clarification, but it IS MY site, and if you don't like my manner, you need not come here again...to waste my time. I asked you TWICE just to say it straight out. If you had a reason for wanting me to hear/see something (and as I have mentioned, many many many times, all I have is ponderous dial-up, and it wastes fifteen, twenty, sixty minutes of my time trying to download this shit from YouTube and suchlike idiot venues that seem to fascinate jerks like you, so I DON'T GO TO SUCH PLACES), if your intent was NOT to waste my time and raise my ire, to attempt to set me to an idiot task of waiting and waiting for something I didn't even want/need to see in the first place, you could have just SAID it, and not required my attention to act politely in twice-posting, more time-waste, in search of plain-speaking. My error was in trying NOT to be my usual crankyfuck self, to treat you as an adult. Unlike now, to be patient and courteous, even though snarky in tone.

You could just have said it out simply.

But you didn't.

You preyed on my civility here to waste my time. YOU wasted my time, creep. Don't do it again. Behave like an adult, or expect the thunder. I have no time to expend on morons who wander about in the barranca of smug functional illiterates.

No reply is required to this. I believe we will be hearing less and less from Chas Fletcher as time crawls forward.

Dismissively, Harlan Ellison

MARK - I have a can of extra potent Good Karma (c) Warm Fuzzies just for you, man. You'll make it through this, and so will the boys, and never forget that you love them and are a great father.

Be safe. I even have an email in the works for you. Um...a little at a time as life allows...


***


I've been sitting bedside vigil with a good friend for her oldest son. Cancer took him this morning. He was 44 years old. Dave Matthews' "Gravedigger" comes to mind - "...I mean, you should never have to bury your own babies."



shagin

As Groucho Marx Wrote to Jerry Lewis...
"I hope your suit with Paramount turns out better than the one I'm wearing."

McCain's bump bothers me, too, and there's a very good reason for this. Andrew Hacker has a piece in the _New York Review of Books_ illustrating many problems facing the Obama campaign-- including a phenomenon among black candidates, known as the Bradley effect. (http://www.nybooks.com/articles/21771)

It's named after former L.A. Mayor Tom Bradley, who was polling about seven points ahead of his opponent when he ran for Governor of California. But, come election day, Bradley lost. The effect is, frequently, black candidates poll better than they actually do at the voting booth. It's as though some percentage of voters will tell a pollster that yeah, they're voting for a candidate who happens to be black... but they have a change of heart once they're faced with the voting switch. Even when people are polled when they exit the voting sites, black candidates poll better than they actually did.

The fact that Obama has had a two or three percentage-point lead scares me... because he really _should_ have at least a seven point lead for me to feel confident about his election. Also, the Democrats haven't pulled in a majority of white voters since 1968.

So I'm very, very pessimistic about this election. We have a choice of a dynamic, forward-thinking, and clearly very intelligent candidate whose election would signal a new and optimistic direction in so many ways... and an aging, duplicitous, self-styled "maverick" whose main campaign argument has been that he suffered during a war, and whose policies would be a continuation of our current disasters.

It would say a lot about America, wouldn't it?

Kell, most of the national polls have McCain up 1-2 points currently but I would not become overly concerned for several reasons. First, McCain is experiencing a fairly large convention bump, one that is larger than normal as the Palin pick seems to have energized the formerly moribund evangelical base.

Two, the state polls still remain in Obama's favor. By that I mean that, even with this latest "surge" by McCain he has not overtaken Obama in any of the blue states or any of the red states in 2004 that are trending blue. Even without Ohio, and I remain convinced Ohio will turn blue, when you add Iowa and Colorado to Obama, he has the states needed to win. Combine that with Florida, and the fact that McCain may lose that state because the Jews down there ain't too happy about Palin's Pentecostal past, and Obama is still the favorite. It is getting closer than I would prefer, but he still clearly leads

I have a personal request. I would appreciate any good wishes/thoughst/prayers tomorrow. Some of you know that there will be a court hearing tomorrow, which I thankfully do not have to attend, to address my ex-wife's contempt of court charge for not paying the credit card bills assigned to her by the judge. Wage garnishment, repossession of goods or possibly jail for contempt are all options being considered. From what my lawyer told me, jail is a definite possibility because this judge is pissed. Even though it is not my doing, and completely out of my control, I do not relish having that conversation with my kids if she is incarcerated. This entire situation sucks and I hope that it will be resolved tomorrow. Any good karma would be appreciated. Thanks,

Mark

Thanks for encouraging us to be dumb

OK, that's not completely accurate. We made ourselves dumb but you set the bad example. We're currently in a election where current government, the Conservatives, have gone a long way toward wrecking the country and this is with a minority. They're not going for majority and have a campaign that basically boils down to calling the leader of the opposition a bad leader. No debate, no facts, just repeating the same phrases over and over again and there's really good chance they'll win. We've already had two and half years of this monkey and there's real danger we'll get four more but with enough seats to push through their agenda without fear of losing a confidence vote. And they learned it all from your guys.

And then this morning I read that McCain is up four points over Obama. How is this even possible?

How is it with eight years watching you spiral down the toilet hole we're not capable of seeing the signs but you lot should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself. After eight years of the -- as Russell Brand quipped -- "retarded cowboy" in charge how can you possibly consider a clone of him for another go?

Both these elections make me think this is how it must feel to be executed by guillotine while facing up.

Thirty-four more days of yelling at the TV for my fellow citizens to wake up and for the media to rediscover how to do their jobs and then we vote.

I’ve always loved the Tracy and Hepburn movies, they where both wonderful actors.

Reporters once asked Tracy why in all the movies they made together his name always came first in the credits, they asked if it wouldn’t be nice for her name to come first once in awhile out of politeness, Tracy just looked at them and with out cracking a smile he replied, “ this is the movies, not a lifeboat!”.

What a guy.

Gary

McCain: "Russia's leaders, rich with oil wealth, corrupt with power, have rejected democratic ideals."

Hmmm, where else in the world can you say that and mean it?

Are we 'rich with oil wealth?' Do we defy 'democratic ideals?'

McCain: "They rejected the obligations of a responsible power."

haha, knee slapper. McCain is Rodney Dangerfield. haha.

He wants to admit the king has no pants, but how do you gain more power doing that?

The war hero is a loon.

-----------

Adam Castro, Sir. Watch this video when you get the time:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i2paUkpZbFc

Explains what really goes on at MSNBC.

The propaganda model has never let me down yet.

Various
FRANK: If the McCain/Palin axis is elected, I do expect a further chilling effect in the media, but I think Olberman is safe for a while. After all, he's their highest-rated show, and his employers want more, which is why they *just hired* Rachel Maddow.

SUSAN/HARLAN: Belated congratulations!

ALL: In the category of "Movies Hard To Believe I've Never Seen Before," there's PAT AND MIKE, the Spencer Tracy / Katherine Hepburn movie from 1953, one of four Tracy and Hepburn flicks we received as an engagement present more than six years ago. Somehow, we never got around to peeling the plastic off the boxed set until a couple of weeks ago, and PAT AND MIKE, the only movie in the set I had not seen, was the first to come out.

Tracy and Hepburn are always worth watching, and the movie's fun, but that's not why I take special note of it here.

Y'see, Hepburn plays a gifted athlete (in several sports), and Tracy plays her somewhat shady manager. At one point very late in the film, Tracy's crooked business associates try to get him to tell her to throw a tennis match, Tracy refuses, and they commence roughing him up. Tracy's male ego ends up seriously
bruised when Hepburn jumps in and wallops the thugs for him, without even especially exerting herself.

I recognized one of the thugs in a prior dialogue scene, thinking, "Isn't that...?" And yes, it was. And I howled, well out of proportion of the scene's inherent interest, when Hepburn disarmed the guy and knocked him out.

So PAT AND MIKE will forever be, for me, the movie where Katherine Hepburn wipes the floor with Charles Bronson...

Happy Anniversary Wishes
Dear Mr. and Mrs. Ellison:

Had the pleasure of briefly meeting you both at L.A. Con IV (WorldCon) in Anaheim in 2006. Did not know 9-7-08 was your twenty-second anniversary; therefore, congratulations, and many happy returns.

Happy Anniversary!
I may be the "late" Janisse Russell, but nonetheless, I offer you my sincerest wishes for a happy anniversary! Harlan, you've probably told the story here before, but I'm relatively new here, so I'm going to ask - How did you and Susan meet?

A little late to the anniversary party
To Susan and Harlan: Best wishes on your anniversary. I'll dunk a couple of Hydrox to toast the event. Richard.

To Harlan and Susan, many congratulations
(belated, due to my being off-line)

It does not seem 23 years since that fateful day in Glasgow!

All my love and best wishes to you both
Steve

OTR and disappointment.
Dear Harlan,

I contacted the Old Time Radio Researchers Group on Yahoo! and the head honcho had this to say about "Five Miles Down" from Mysterious Traveler: "We've looked high and low, and had our secret sources check their holdings, but it is not in existence - neither of the two broadcasts of it."

The internet is a funny place sometimes though. Just like the missing footage from "Metropolis" being unearthed there is always a chance that someone somewhere has a copy of the episode. I have found that in the OTR hobby there are people like the OTRR that do their very best to make sure the best available episodes are not only found but preserved and then there are "collectors" who find some thrill in being the only person alive to have one of something and they won't share no way no how. I'm guessing you've run into people like that in your life.

I'm sorry I couldn't help.

Thank you,
Tony Adams

On the road to healthy adulthood.

Brian P. ~ When I was fifteen, I went to a Wrestlemania match at the Capital Center in Landover, MD, featuring Hulk Hogan. After that, I never watched wrestling again.
Does that help?

MICHAEL Palin for President
www.michaelpalinforpresident.com

And come to think of it, he looks even better in a dress than Sarah Palin does!

my fathers two favorite epigrams:
no good deed goes unpunished

god help those who get caught helping themselves

keep tryin' anyway

mike

This is about as typical as it gets.

NBC was confident Obama had a great shot at being President, so it let Olbermann have a bit of leeway, but not much: note most of the guests he has on--not lefties, for the most part. Now, because of Palin, they are worried, maybe McCain will be President, and a far right legion will follow. This is simular to what happened when Phil Donahue was fired. Corporations get worried that right happy advertisers might pull out so they conform. If McCain wins, expect Olbermann to be fired.

-----------

Who needs a soap opera when we have Harlan And Susan, the neverending, axis, bold as love-affair.

Hope you kids have many happy days.

Snickerdoodle pecks.

Christ almighty, my little post prompted THREE responses in my weekend absence?

Did I ask you to look at YouTube? You could have found another way to look up the name Eddie Hazel. Your choice. You could have looked at Rick Keeney's response to see that he was a guitar player. Your choice.

Don't blame me for wasting your time. You wasted it yourself.

H a r l a n & S u s a n,
Please accept these late but sincere anniversary best wishes!

Happy Anniversary!,I'm sure you guys will have lots more, my wife and I have been married about the same years and it's been great, LOVE=GOOD.

Gary

Harlan and Susan, while a day late, allow me to extend my congratulations to you both. You two give hope to all single people that it is possible to find one's soulmate

Mr. Phillips, I was also bar-mitzvahed and my experience was significantly more positive than Harlan's. For me, it was an opportunity to delve deeper into my religion and become acquainted with aspects of it, such as tying on t'filin, that I had never done before. Perhaps the most rewarding and challenging aspect of the bar mitzvah was that I was forced to become more proficient at speaking (or reading as the case may be) in front of a large crowd of people. As a shy kid, that was a big stretch and I conducted most of the ceremony by myself. Many times when I have to do a presentation now I reflect back on that experience and say, "Aw hell, if I did it back then, I could do it now"

Just my thoughts,

Mark

Thank you to Harlan Ellison and interesting news
As always, thank you for answering my question.

In other news, Keith Olbermann and Chris Matthews are no longer MSNBC anchors. Apparently, they were rousing the ire of people that felt they were too opinionated, in particular, NBC.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/09/08/business/media/08msnbc.html?ref=politics

Hmmmmm,
Brian Phillips

Ever-late to the party in my White Rabbit way, Happy Anniversary!

Harlan - RE your message, was lost in the woods when it arrived, and have been vacationing, traveling and jumping through school hoops since. I don't aim to be rude; I'm just usually Overcome By Events. In any event, your list stays with me (and loosely active), but I'll shoot a copy to you so we can shore it up. I'm also still available for spot work for you, kiddo. What can I say? The challenge keeps me young.

Also, the envelope arrived - thank you.

The store-browse discoveries last week of a good condition, well-priced copy ($20) of B. Traven's "Stories By The Man Nobody Knows," which I didn't have, as well as Kinsella's "Japanese Baseball and Other Stories" (not a hard get, apparently, but fuggit, it also was absent from MY shelves) may have restored a little of the zazz.

I may just need new haunts...

Susan & Harlan,A Very Happy 22nd Anniversary from your pals,

Shane & Laurie

BRIAN:

I was bar mitzvah'd. I hated it. It had absolutely no effect on me then--save for the misery of being tutored by an intense rabbinical student who made every day's talmudic terror an event to be dreaded--and it has had utterly no echo in the 60 years since. I learned nothing from it, I remember nothing much of it, and I wouldn't trade the whole mishigoss for one day of my youth riding the freight trains and smelling the wind.

That's what I have to say about it. In toto.

Yr. Jewish Pal, Harlan, a born Atheist

Harlan and Susan,
True love is a treasure. Congratulations to the both of you for finding it. Susan you are very lucky. Harlan, you are very lucky.

Y'all inspire!
:)
Cindy

Look! It's Surfin' Dudes Chip, Bum, n' SCOOTER!

After seeing the NEW 'At The Movies' I will NEVER trash Richard Roeper again. The feeling of engaging personal debate has succumbed to skateboardin' n' Frisbee.

Hearing about YOUR anniversary brings FAR more pleasure!

Happy anniversary Unca Harlan and Auntie Susan -- and may you enjoy many more.

Steve J.

Harlan and Susan -- 22 years? Newlyweds are always so cute.

To paraphrase a comment: At a party, you can tell the couples who've been married for a while versus the newlyweds. The newlyweds are always talking, always touching, always laughing. The older couples simply stand together, as equals, listening and smiling.

Youse guys are a little bit of both, and that's a good thing.

Congrats.

Cris and Steve

Congratulations on 22 years of wedded bliss!
My wife has lowered herself to stay by my side for 20 years, wedded and otherwise.
I consider myself the luckiest man on Earth, and I'm sure HE feels the same way about his beloved.
Here's wishing the lucky couple at least another 22!

Rite of Passage, a question and Happy Anniversary
Happy Anniversary to the Ellisons! The good lady wife and I are twenty years in as of June 23rd, so we are slowly gaining on both of you!

Paul: The article (thanks for reading it, you too shagin) was incorrect; my father suggested a Rite of Passage ceremony, not my brother. I would have been five at the time my brother would have had his; I don't recall us doing it. Perhaps my esteemed brother can shed some light on this; he reads this board but is enormously busy.

I will repose my question to the group and our host: for those who went through a faith-based or traditional Rite of Passage ceremony, do you feel it set you on the path to adulthood?

Brian Phillips

SUSAN & HARLAN - Many happy thoughts on your anniversary. More smiles! More hugs! And the sweetest of dreams in one another's arms tonight.


shagin

Happy Anniversary S & H
Phew!

Just made it!

Happy Anniversary, you two fun-loving pixies.....

Cheers
Rob & Paul E.

P.S. - Harlan - thanks for the offer of HELM 1 - I will try and pursue a copy via my local shop (Calamity Comics), but if all else fails...ta for the back-up plan!

That should be "apparently," of course.

Sigh.

Thank you, each and every, for the 22 married (23 together) wedding anniversary well-wishes. We are spending a quiet day together, smiling and hugging a great deal.

Haven't yet gotten even ONE of the many (apprently in the pipe) copies of that 1976 interview; but we have high hopes.

Thank you in advance, whomever, whichever.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

Happy 22nd Anniversary, Harlan and Susan! Many more years of bliss to you both.

Chuck

Erik, I wouldn't worry about that interview, the Blue Monkey's probably already shot Harlan about fifteen billion copies.

We make Origami Camels that actually spit.

We good.

We meaning them.

--------------

Diane, paragraphs dear, paragraphs. Serial killers and fanatics write that way online. Hadta say it sweets.

In liberal love, as always. No Shwing.

-------------

Lemonhead, your friend needs the bangs on his back trimmed.

Gorky Park has that Pearl under the rock.

Bet's on Obama kid.

Natch.

Anniversary?
I had no idea. 22nd? May it be, and continue to be. Goodness, that's a lot of time.

Brian, if your brother started that tradition, you ought really to tell us of that great conversation between you two that started it out. Is that your mom or an another? Inquiring minds want to know!

Hold it right there
Like I said on the 4th, Harlan is definitely getting SEVERAL GOOD TRANSFERS from the owner next week and does not need the YouthTube material. Michael, please do check the messages more carefully before you double post and drive everybody nuts.

And ERIK: Please don't completely forget to update us on how DREAMS is doing. We begin to think it's doing so bad you're embarrassed to talk about it. Also let us know when you have a preliminary DVD release date for us. You may have noticed that we're already standing in line for that. (Is the DVD finalized?)

My offer to check German subtitles and things like that stands. I do everything you want over here as your secret agent.

*************************************************
******HAPPY 22nd ANNIVERSARY to the Ellisons!******
*************************************************

1976 Interview
"I didn't see anyone having responded to your request of providing you with the 1976 interview that is currently on YouTube. If you still need it, I can provide you with a CD copy. Just say the word."

Harlan--

The technical wizards at Creative Differences can and will burn you a DVD from this interview. It is downloaded, and in the system, as they say, as I write this.

Erik

'76 Extension's Interview
Harlan,

I didn't see anyone having responded to your request of providing you with the 1976 interview that is currently on YouTube. If you still need it, I can provide you with a CD copy. Just say the word.

As a brief aside, I also noted that there was some discussion concerning guitarist, Eddie Hazel of Funkadelic fame. Looooong before I met my wife, she and her best friend dated members of the band, spending considerable time on the road and in the studio with George Clinton (founder of Funkadelic and doo-wop/funk group, Parliament), Eddie, and other musicians. Although she is more embarrassed now about her 'free-wheeling' exploits, Eddie's phenomenal guitar playing is the center of many of that period's recollections.

Susan: HERC Inquiry
Are there any issues with my order?

Harlan, Re: Our Private Life of Sherlock Holmes Chat
Christopher Lee was apparently a last-minute replacement for George Sanders. Sanders may have been more portly than Lee; but still no where near the ample girth of Mycroft.

Happy Anniversary
Harlan & Susan,

It's been some time since I dropped a line, but I would like to wish the both of you the best on another anniversary with many more to come.

"Love is the condition in which happiness of another person is essential to your own."
- Robert Heinlein

I'm an idiot
Hi, all. Steve and Rick , hi. I am a total idiot when it comes to computers; mine keeps my kitchen table warm, and provides a raised seat for the cats, enabling them to see out the kitchen window better. It took several years, but I finally hooked up the printer to the moniter. I was working on the horrendous tech. problem of where does the printer cartridge go? My aunt Betty moved in with me for a couple weeks; one would not assume that two weeks would let her do much damage, but the dear woman bleached spots in all my favorite tee-shirts, though noone told her to do the laundry, cost a ghastly amount of money that I didn't have, (she smokes, drinks, doesn't drive and needed to drive 15 miles every other day to see her boyfriend who also doesn't drive, screamed horrible obscenities in front of my house after I finally tossed her butt, disinvited me to her granddaughter's baby shower and disconnected the computer I spent years assembling. I now just look at it and shudder. But I'm here at my sister's, where my brother in law knows somewhat. However he ain't home and all this long preamble is by way of saying I'm trying to figure out how to post on the forums, particularly the intros, as I thought I would intro. myself. While with much assistance from you two kind gentlemen, I am registered, that is as far as I get. What is an avatar? Do I need one? Do you have any pussycats? None of this is urgent or vital. Tips and hints would be greatly appreciated. I'll make my nephew Vinnie implement them. Unless one of you would like to vacation in Chicago? LOL. Regarding my aunt, charity begins at home, and also ends there I guess. I never really liked my mom's family very much anyways. If you all knew them, you'd know why. To Robert Ross, I saw your post recently. Hope you are feeling well and happy. Harlan, I bet you thought you would take the prize for most technically ignorant here. Yet here is I, totally blank. Hey, guys, I don't feel bad about the aunt thing. It is what it is, and I'm fine. My new motto in life, since 35 or 40, is drop like a very hot tamale anyone who screws with me or trys to bring me done. A much happier motto. Took years to drum this into my head, but it's there now. See you all

The View From Jakes
My friend "Julius" knows a bit about politics. He's managed some local campaigns. served in several state and national ones as a volunteer (and I believe even paid positions, though I'd have to check).

He also used to teach political science at Juniper State. He even worked in city government way out west, before he moved here.

So in consideration of that resume I tend to hear him out when he speaks on politics. I won't go into what his own politics are, or mine, since they don't have much to do with what he said down at the barber shop the other day when I stopped in for a trim. Julius happened to be there because he spends most mornings at the newstand next door to the barber shop, and does his reading in the shop.As he put's it, "You meet a better class of "degenerate" there than at Janskies", that being the cafe across the street.

"It ain't over", is what sober Julius told us.

"Bullshit." said Frank, looking up from a tattered swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated. "The Cubs are choking. Brewers gonna win by five."

Julius laughed, shook his head, and gave Frank that smile he saves for Frank. The one that makes Julius look like some priest about to bless a Jack Ass.

"Yes, that's not settled, my Frank Friend Frank. But I refer to our other National Pastime: Politics. The elections for the Chief Magistracy of the Land are not over, no matter what the pundits say. They're forgetting about The Ground Game."

Since the local college team was on the old TV in the corner, (they were being roughed up by some upstate eleven) football metpaphors were de rigored.

"Every election for the past hun\red years or so, hell almost every election in US history, hasn't been decided by who voted." Julius ruffled his USA Today as he sat it down on the reading table.

Before anyone might gainsay this startling statement, he raised his right index finger and waggled it about.

"They've been overwhelmingly decided by the people who did not vote. The ones who would have voted for the loser, but just didn't make it to the polls, or never registered, or had a cold that day or the baby was teething." he stopped waving The Finger.

Jake the Barber hates it when Julius does The Finger (Jake calls it "The Finger" as sort of an homage to his favorite movie, which is The Sunshine Boys, maybe because people always tell Jake he looks like Walter Matthau. Why anyone would be proud of looking like an old Catchers' Mitt I don't know, but there it is.)

"The winner is the fellow who gets more of the people who would vote for him to actually get out and vote for him." Julius raised his hand. Jake frowned at him. Julius winked back at Jake and displayed just an open hand, no finger.

"It's the side what does the best job of pounding the pavement, both before and on election day, that wins. Ringing doorbells, calling people, bugging the crap out of them, reminding them they are important, they got to go vote." Julius wiggled two fingers. like a Yellow Pages ad.

"The best ground game always wins."

The game announcer on the TV started yelling. The Upstate team was running back another kickoff into Junipers' end zone. Everyone stopped for a second, then looked back at Jake after the two-point conversion.

Smokes (he owns the tobacco shop next door to Jakes. No, we're not very original) butted in.

"So they each got hunnerds' a millin bucks. No problem, they hire every Sterno bum in the country to bug people. Not to mention some they hires some quality folks too..."

Julius shook his head.

"Too expensive. Nope, you've got to have volunteers. People who believe in your candidate, people who have a stake, or at least you make them think they do. That's how you win."

Jake finished my trim, and spread some hot lather around my ears and neck.

"Yeah, so? Never any shortage of chumps, is what I say!" Jake turned to rinse his hands in the sink.

Julius nodded. "Spoken like a true Cynic, Friend Jake. Yes, we will always have true believers on either side who will volunteer. But it's the side that gets the not so true believers, the Average Believers I call them. That's the side that wins: The one that gets the most Average Believers to volunteer."

Jake started scraping the little hairs off of my neck and behind my ears. i always like the feel and sound of the straight razor as it slides past my ear.

"So how does it work, Friend Julius?" I don't always know the difference between having to say something, and having something to say. Julius pretends to like that, which is why he is my friend, I suppose.

"Sometimes it's the other side that does it for your campaign. They do or say something, pick a candidate so Out There, get misquoted or something they do motivates so many of your side to get out and volunteer that you don't have to do much to get those people on the street and in the phone rooms big enough numbers."

He pointed at the flag hanging in the corner over the TV, next to the American Legion plaque. Jake was in Korea for the war, and always says it was the worst place he ever saw. It was 43 to zip in the game on the Magnavox.

"That's why everyone wears those flag pins on their lapel, says nothing but good things about vet's and apple pie, and tries their damnddest to deny they ever even thought about voting for anything your Maiden Aunt wasn't for first."

Julius did the finger again, but Jake wasn't watching. He was rinsing the razor in the sink, and getting the little bottle of Lilac Water to sprinkle on my neck.

"But usually it's more reliable to find something in one of your candidates that will excite the faithful on your side, especially the Average Believers. You know, a story, a slogan, fifty-four forty or fight, tipp the canoe and file her shoe, anything that works."

It was half-time, and they started playing some campaign ad on the Idjut Boks.

"That's why this one ain't over yet." Julius pointed at the Twonky Box. It was that woman they nominated for Vice President last week, smiling and waving at a crowd of excited people in silly elephant hats.

"She's got the True Believers and the Average believers all heated up and on the same plate. They're gonna have lots of volunteers. They need a ton, no doubt about that. They're playing catch-up. But it's only half-time. The Fat Lady never sings at half-time."

Julius picked up his USA Today and folded it twice. I handed Jake a ten, and waved off the two bucks change.

"Who wants to join me for a Dog and Puddle over at Janskies?" Julius asked. Smokey grunted and turned to stare at the marching band on the tube. I gave Julius my own pallid imitation of The Finger.

"Janskies chili makes me fart like a sailor, and you know it. You're on!"

Sideny Lemonkrantz, Citizen And Miscreant Critic

Since we've discussed this topic both here and on the Forae, I thought I would post a link to my friend (and author of WRITING IN FLOW) Susan K Perry's new blog on the Psychology Today website. This first effort -- and she was nervous as all hell being that she really didn't understand what a blog is supposed to accomplish -- is a great one.

She's discussing the artist's subconscious/conscious perceptions of their "audience" while they're creating whatever it is they create. One of the people she interviewed is writer David Gerrold. And yes, that's one of my shots she's using for her heading illustration.

http://blogs.psychologytoday.com/blog/creating-in-flow/200809/do-people-who-need-people-get-writers-block

Hydrox cookies in Phoenix
I found Hydrox cookies at the Safeway located at 35th Avenue and Northern Avenue in Phoenix.

WhyowhyowhyoWHY does nobody tell me these things?!?!?!?!? Great giggling Jeeeeezus but I expect you people to help make up for my scorched neurons....

http://www.mycityscreams.com/index2.html?swf=video

Dial up sucks.

I have it. When it is working at its fastest, it takes about 10 minutes for every minute of youtube video. And it takes even longer if you are opening other sites while you are waiting.

There was an audio file I wanted to copy. The Download window said 1:22 to copy it. 3 hours later, it still hadn't finished because I had been doing other things, too.

Why stick with dial up? $11 a month, that's why.

BRIAN P. - That was an interesting article. Thanks for posting. Your niece certainly looks confident and proud in the picture.


shagin

Why I was in So. Cal. and a question for Harlan Ellison.
I went to San Diego for my niece's Rite of Passage ceremony.

Here is the link to the article which is not graphically intensive, so dial-up users, such as our esteemed host, should be OK.

http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20080831/news_1c31rite.html

Two corrections:

Dr. Bill Johnson is a Clinical Psychologist at UCSD not a Political Psychologist and my father started the Rite of Passage tradition for my family not my brother Stephen.

If any of you knew me personally, you would know that I am most proud of my family, especially my niece, Vivian. My sister-in-law and brother (the man that introduced me to Ellison's works) did a great job of organizing this event.

Here is my question. It is primarily for our host, but also directed to the Jewish people that post here or folks that have gone through similar: did you have a faith/tradition-based ceremony and do you feel that it had the desired effect of setting you on the path to adulthood? My parents were no longer together by my thirteenth birthday, so I cannot answer this question myself.

Brian Phillips

Maggot Brain
Maggot Brain is an album released in 1971 by the Detroit acid /funk /metal outfit Funkadelic. The title track is a long, sad and heavily processed guitar solo by the late Eddie Hazel. Many guitar freaks ( like me ) revere it, placing it in the pantheon alongside Jimi Hendrix’s “Machine Gun,” Charlie Christian’s “Swing To Bop” and anything Dorothy Wiggin did with the Shaggs.

If you’re in the mood for a jagged chunk of LSD-addled hard rock, grab a copy as soon as humanly possible. If not, steer clear.

ROB EWEN: Listen, pal; if it's going to be a hard slough getting a HELM #1 over there, let me know, and I'll send you mine. I can get a quick replacement from Dark Horse. It'd be a small way of reasserting our affection for you and yours.

Harlan

SHAGIN:

Don't worry about it, Sandra. We'll take care of it.

-he

Help me out guys, let's impeach the Prez:

http://kucinich.us/

Sure it would be symbolic, but we have to start somewhere.

Thanks.

----------------

Forget the horserace polls, according to state polls Obama is blowing out McCain. Imagine what it will look like after the debates.

DORMAN: Yes, of course, it should be "Deifies," not "defies."

FLETCHER: Don't waste my time like this. 1) I don't visit YouTube, on principle; 2) I have dial-up and don't have half an hour to waste sitting waiting for something I don't give a shit about to begin with; and 3) some of you children of spurious crap must absorb the concept that not everything that amuses you needs to be shared with everyone else. I went there for ten seconds, realized it was some sort of music thing, and as the load-up cycle went round and round, promising eight minutes, or seconds, or eons, or whatever of sitting twiddling my thumbs to batten ... I said fuckit and came back here to advise you DON'T DO THIS TO ME AGAIN.

Peeved, Ellison

Animal Man
Grant Morrison is a Magnificent Bastard.

THE HELM #1
Aaaaaaarghhhhh!

My local comic shop has sold out of THE HELM issue 1!!

Unable to.....appreciate.....the comic's goodness....must....keep....calm....

No....shirt ripping....green tinge to skin....

Urge to....SMASH.....

SUSAN - I dropped a large order for HERC and Kilimanjaro in the mail today (seperate payments), but I forgot the SASE for the HERC membership. Should I send the SASE seperately?

As far as the postage goes, if I didn't get it right, owing to the fact that I have 1 1/2 brain cells of late, um...use it to pay for postage for someone else? Buy stamps? Something?


shagin

HE's Comic book Resournce interview
Hey, MR. ELLISON: Did the person doing the transcripts for the comic book resource interview...

online right here
http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=article&id=17926
ron

... did he get it wrong when transcribing this sentence?
"It is a world of increasing stupidity and cultural amnesia, that arrogantly defies the idiotic and the transitory."

Just wondering if that last bit should be "deifies the idiotic and the transitory."

Thanks (in advance) if you were able to answer.
All best, as always, to you _and_ Susan,
-DTS

What makes Palin's daughter's pregnancy relelvant is the fact that Govenor Palin cut funding for programs for teenage mothers.

I guess only her daughter get the compassion.

Chuck

Morganization
"Community organizers are the backbone of America. Amen."

Damned anarchists, always trying to get things organized!

Charlie, if that's what Fletcher meant, why didn't he just say so?

Maggot Brain
Harlan, I think this answers your query...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBNJ52YSKww

FLETCHER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know you think I'm omniscient, but I shamefully cop to not knowing ENTIRE FUCKING VOLUMES of stuff, so, once again, Fletcher...

whatthefuckareyoutryingtotellme

???????

At sea, at a loss, twixt'n'between, on the horns of the dilemma, 'tween sixes&sevens, fuddled, roiled, as well as

bewitched, bothered, and beMildred.

Ellison

REPLY TO CHAS FLETCHER

One word: whatthefuckareyoutryingtosay?

Few of us are telepathic, but even if we were, it wouldn't avail in your case, because telepathy requires TWO minds!

Hoping the fevre soon passes, I remain, MISTER Ellison to you.

Dropout writers
Jason:

Bradbury (I assume you meant Ray rather than any other Bradbury) graduated high school, but never went to college. However, you could argue that he went to UCLA... in the sense that he wrote Fahrenheit 451 in the typewriter rental facility in the UCLA library. I understand that UCLA will shortly be dedicating a plaque to commemorate this event.

- Phil

Writers and Education

"There's so little (fiction) now that it's pathetic, and it's pathetic all over. Writers come from master-of-fine-arts programs now. If you add up the college education of Steinbeck, Hemingway and Faulkner, you get to spring break of freshman year."


Then again, you have someone like Michael Chabon, easily one of the best of the current crop of fiction writers, who I'm pretty sure has an MFA...

Still, I understand his point. Harlan is another example, which Barber cited. Whether Bradbury dropped out of high school or college, I can never remember.

The brain is a trumpet.

--------------

Palin is not a lightweight. I mentioned myself that her speech made me want to boo Obama. The main problem was she was not talking about our Obama.

Her problem is the fact that she is corrupt.

---------------

The more I see video from the protests the more I see girls getting sprayed in the face, innocent people getting beaten up, cops joking around about it. Ashamed of my old hometown.

-------------

Shit, Ron Silver is back. Talk about milking fifteen minutes.

Shut and sing you hack motherfucker.

---------------

All major legislation would not exist if there was no community organizing to force power to listen to them.

Community organizers are the backbone of America. Amen.

The Problem with Tom Wolfe...
...whose work I enjoy, and with so many others who complain about there being no good writers coming up now, is that they totally ignore genre fiction. And I don't just mean the best perpetrators of fantasy and science fiction, but also mysteries; in fact, primarily mysteries. There are folks shelved in the mystery section now who capture the state of the world about as well as anybody else does, and do so with crisp, energetic prose about a zillion times more muscular than anything among the Updike crowd. The same is even true for one or two folks shelved in Horror. There is more to life on this planet than coming of age in college towns, and the folks who make bloviating comments about fiction often fail to see that.

In the "10 Questions for..." section of Time Magazine, author Tom Wolfe was asked the question "What are your feelings on the current state of fiction?"

His reply?

"There's so little of it now that it's pathetic, and it's pathetic all over. Writers come from master-of-fine-arts programs now. If you add up the college education of Steinbeck, Hemingway and Faulkner, you get to spring break of freshman year."

If you add in Harlan's, I think you get to a full year...
_____________________________________________

New pics in my Monthly Gallery if y'all wanna see 'em.
_____________________________________________

I'm warning all of you: you're dancing on Sarah Palin's grave a bit too early. She is doing precisely what McCain wanted her to do, which is motivating and energizing the far right. She's a truly powerful candidate precisely because she's the upbeat, happily photogenic right-wing white middle class community organizer who will appeal to that target market.

The more she's criticized, the more that base of voters will stand by her, allowing McCain to make inroads with the independents and Reagan Dems.

Bush was re-elected in spite of some blatantly outrageous (and possibly illegal) behavior. So was Ni*on.

Dismissing Palin as a lightweight is a fool's game...it isn't her depth of experience McCain is counting on, it's her charm.

Charles (or Charlie) of Florida:
Perhaps the title of your post should have been... "To Whom It May Concern"?

I don't know, Barney...
isn't the brain technically an organ?

A Mugs Game
Yeah, John McCain has done a lot of things. He was one of the Keating Five who helped protect Charles Keating and his banks when they used loopholes to swindle hundreds of people who ultimately lost their life savings. Never heard McCain apologize for any of that. Keating went to prison for 5 years and would still be there if a smart lawyer hadn't got him out on a technicality. McCain has run to lobbyists for a long time and his campaign is filled with them.

Brian Phillips~ "And Obama would be essentially finished. Less "national dialogue", less "plight of the unwed teen mom" and more people sniggering about another colored child that don't act right."

(Insert tongue in cheek here)

As un-pc as as Obama voting as I can be, I must sincerely protest your words, sir!
The word preferred is "s-negro-ing".

Yours in solidarity,
P.

Barney Dannelke

one of the best posts I've read here in a long time.

thanks,
Rick

I never do this, but I had to double post in order to apologize for the atrocious grammar of "what do you suppose would 1976 Harlan have said". Jesus. Sorry, people.

Harlan 1976
Harlan,

I watched the first segment of the YouTube interview posted by Jan, and I was intrigued by your comments concerning the state of television. Specifically, you said back then that it was (I hope this is the correct term) impossible for true art to be presented on television because of the pernicious advertising culture of the medium. In an era of "Happy Days", "Charlie's Angels" and "Love Boat" this was quite probably true, but what do you suppose would 1976 Harlan have said were he given a glimpse of TV in the future -- say, episodes of HOMICIDE, THE SOPRANOS or even LOST? Do any of these programs (or others like them, your pick) come even close to the sort of art you envisioned seeing on TV back then? I'm especially interested in your thoughts because of the imminent re-release of the GLASS TEAT books.

Thanks for taking the time, assuming you have the time.

A Mugs Game
Obama is a politician backed by Chicago's Daley machine and never once challenged the political corruption in Chicago and Illinois. Not ever. A reformer? A change agent? Not a chance.

Crossing the isle to work with the other party? McCain has done that. Standing-up to corrupt members of his own party? McCain has done that his entire career. Never seeking or taking one dollar of earmarks/wasteful spending his entire time in public office? McCain has done that. Mr. Obama, just this year alone sought and received $126 million in earmarks.

Bottom-line, McCain has done many of the things Obama says he will do when President, but never has when given the opportunity. His voting record is that of a go-along, to get-along guy.
---------------------------------------

THE HELM. Dug it.

A good site for a look at previous Presidential ad campaigns
Jump in to a swift boat along with Mr. Dannelke and head over to http://www.livingroomcandidate.org. Great post, Barney.

I am NOT a veteran and I will not belittle John McCain's record of service, but did anybody else feel that McCain, like Rudolph Giuliani, is harping on his hardships to woo the electorate?

Also, while realizing that Palin's daughter's behavior is not relevant to her ability to run the country, the coverage has been fascinating. I'm hearing things such as forgiveness, let's focus on the issues, which is fine by me. I'm a Christian, but far from perfect. I can only imagine the scrutiny that Bristol and Levi are facing.

Let's reverse the situation, though. Suppose Obama's daughters were a bit older and one of THEM was pregnant by a man that she wasn't married to. I'd bet that you'd hear things like, BabyDaddy, booty calls...

And Obama would be essentially finished. Less "national dialogue", less "plight of the unwed teen mom" and more people sniggering about another colored child that don't act right.

I pray that we as a country have turned the corner on such thinking, but if I can see John Kerry painted as a coward, Max Cleland called a traitor (to his credit, McCain highly disapproved of both of these claims and said so), I don't think my musings are completely off-base.

Brian Phillips

P.S. The Daily Show ran a clip of an Karl Rove comparing Tim Kaine's experience to Palin's. Palin became the mayor of the "2nd largest city in Alaska" while Tim Kaine's mayoral time was spent in the capital city of Richmond became a short span in a city "...smaller than Chula Vista, California or Aurora, Colorado".

Take a look at "Sarah Palin Gender Card" http://www.thedailyshow.com/video/index.jhtml

Your tumescence will become ob at the attempt to speak afterwards

The title should read: RIP, Whom
correction

RIP
As I was reading that Time article that James Van Hise directed us to, I came across this statement: "that she wasn't sure who she would vote for in November."

Now, am I wrong, but shouldn't that be "whom". She was not sure for WHOM she would vote in November.

I've been increasingly noting the death of "whom" in the English language. Especially with reporters and others on television. It is as if the word doesn't exist. This reporter works for Time magazine, a distinguished national publication, and the reporter doesn't know the difference between who and whom. Where is the editor?

You don't believe me - try a google search. I searched, in quotes, "whom will you vote for", and "who will you vote for". There are only 799 hits for "whom" and 176,000 for "who". I rest my case. RIP, whom.

Comments by Harlan and Van Hise
James Van Hise: THANks for the link to the Paliln profile -- VERY intersting (and scary).

HARLAN: My daughter picked up the first two issues of "Helm" at your urging (after I told her about the post): both of us read them today. GREAT book! We can't wait for more. Thanks, buddy.

-DTS

Mantras
***James V.H.*** No no no. You shouldn't think about those things.

Rather, consider it as a done deal. John McCain is either a two time or three time cancer survivor who is in his eighth decade and recovering from "hard times" as a Vietnam Vet. I say "hard times" rather than "torture" because by the current expanded definition of techniques we deem acceptable, and signed off on by Senator McCain, since McCain never actually suffered "organ failure" we can't really say he and his fellow P.O.W.'s were ever really tortured.

I mean, words, especially BAD words like "torture," and how and when and where we use them are important. Ask Ms. Palin. She knows what the "bad words" are.

In any event, according to the actuarial tables, if nothing else goes wrong McCain has a 15% chance of checking out in his first term of office and a 35-37% chance of checking out in his second term. So, repeat after me;

President of the United States of America, Sarah Palin.
President of the United States of America, Sarah Palin.
President of the United States of America, Sarah Palin.
President of the United States of America, Sarah Palin.
President of the United States of America, Sarah Palin.

Just keep saying that until it makes sense. I'm on day four. I expect in my case it will work any moment now.

- Barney Dannelke

Uppity, PA.

Chas Fletcher
Man oh man, thanks for that suggestion. How did I ever miss out on this sweet, funk-ass guitar player?!!

holy jooblies, man.

thx again,
Rick

PALIN WANTED TO BAN BOOKS
In a profile in the new TIME magazine, it is casually mentioned that when Sarah Palin was Mayor in Alaska that she approached the local librarian about how she could go about banning books which had objectionable language in them. Read about it here.

http://www.time.com/time/politics/article/0,8599,1837918,00.html

Not much more info than that but hopefully it will be explored in more detail by someone somewhere.

KOS - there's no way you're a sociopath man, I never see you at the meetings.

Also, for all concerned - there's a new meme making the rounds in regard to Sarah Palin:

"Don't you think she looks tired?"

Pass it on.

Point taken, off for rehab myself
Rob, good point, taken as offered. Besides, I am aleinated, which is one step north of sociopath.

I am SO out of here for three or four days since I am guilty guilty guilty.

Looking for those cookie addresses?

rumfuddle11@yahoo.com

KOS

A little late to the Larry Adler party
I was away from computers for 4 days, but very much wanted to add my endorsement of Larry Adler's contribution to Genevieve. Harlan mentioned him and Rob Ewen suggested finding Genevieve. I have an ancient VHS copy from the early 80s I found in NYC, but since then it has never been readily available in the US to my knowledge. You can get a region 2 DVD from the UK and it has excellent color, and I just checked eBay and now it seems that a region 1 DVD is available in Canada, as well as Korean DVDs, which the eBayer claims are not bootlegs (I suspect they are region 0 and will play on any machine, but I do not know). In any case, I urge anyone and everyone to find the movie. It is pure charm, and has a magic that few movies can achieve. You will fall in love with Alan, Wendy, Ambrose and Rosalind and come back to them time and again. It sits near the very top of my all-time list, and the music by Larry Adler is absolutely perfect.

Just sayin', ya know?

Yes, Britain bombed the shit out of Germany, as so did Germany of London, St. Petersburg, and many other cities. It was a war. Germany was trying to take over the world.

Vietnam is a different story. The Vietnamese never bombed the USA. We never should have been in Vietnam, just as we never should have been in Iraq.

Civilian deaths are inevitable in battles of this size. {{sarcasm on}} But it's not as if they matter, because they aren't American citizens. Right? {{sarcasm off}} (and, no, KOS did not say that)

Because a member of the armed forces participates in a war, a police action, or any other description one wants to use, does not make that member a criminal. They were doing a job. Yes, some took too much delight in doing their jobs, but they were acting on behalf of the government, who in turns act as our elected officials. The ones who are ultimately guilty are the citizens who allow it to continue. The ones who voted Bush in for a second terms, and who are now trying to elect McCain to continue the Iraq fiasco.

KOS,

Now did I call YOU a sociopath? How do you know I wasn't referring to myself?

Now I'll stay oughtta here for the next few days to attend rule-breakers rehab.

Great Art Exhibit
I have no idea where it's heading after it leaves San Francisco, but if you get a chance to see the exhibit From the New Yorker to Shrek: The art of William Steig, I highly recommend you do.

I loved the artwork, and didn't realize that his books were so pervasive in my childhood.


Lori

Sociopaths and hoorahs?
Yeah, my listing of rhe horrors of war was a big "hoorah". Uh huh. Yep.

Calling war a horrible crime and listing just some of the inhumanities the so called "civilized world" has inflicted upon itself and others is righteously described as the equivalent of a platoon of soldiers grunting their bloodlust.

Yep, Uh huh. Amen. Right On Bro. You're The Man.

Does the sarcasm get across in this tone deaf medium?

I am a real card carrying sociopath union member for pointing that out. Yep. Uh huh. Right.

Confessing that war is a crime marks me out with the scarlet "S" as one with other non-empathizing monsters.

Okay. No problem. After all, you ARE The Man.

Does the barb of my "wit" get across, or is it still blunted by the silent nature of these words?

It's a reductio ad absurdum to point out that Viet Nam was just one more in a weary line of atrocious wars, acyions, incidents and ambuscades going back through history as a scarlet line of shame to the earliest times and places where the hairless monkeys first bashed one anothers' heads to whatever nameless purpose their brute minds could form?

That my point was precisely that we must rise above that nature if we are to survive, and that we will never accomplish that rise if we begin with denial that such as war is in our nature, could never be the case, could not be the case?

Right. You're absolutely NOT tone deaf to nuances. Nuh uh, Not you, You gots empathy, oozing from your pores.

Nothing like setting up the straw man of a long departed poster with whom you had a long forgotten argument, and comparing all comers and their differences, real or imagined, with you as being at one with that you "won" way back when.

Nope. Nary a quibble on that from this corner of the peanut gallery.

Seems to be the case, that aside from a hearty "amen", you will label any response as ipso facto that of an card carrying sociopath union of America member.

Right... E... O...

I made, and make, no excuses for the horrors of war. There is nothing I might write that would equal the smallest part of what Goya or Picasso painted, that Tolstoy wrote or Kubrick filmed.

You tie your "empathy" to a stick, wave it about, and when someone responds with other than an "Aren't you special!?" pat on the head, you respond with cheap shots.

I have found you an argument, but it is beyond me to find you an understanding.

Basta.

On a sidenote, the idea that true self-defense is wrong: Well, bone me and disown me, but that strikes me as something that is so noble and self-effacing as will take care of itself in the long run.

End of sarcasm.

I hasten to add that I do do do have empathy for you what believe that self-defense is a crime, but my empathy won't help you much. Good luck out there.

No, Really. Good luck.

I absent myself from further comment on matters military on this site, for as long as I can keep that promise. It bores the crap out of most, (alas, even myself, I find) and irritates some. All the above to no good end. No one changes their mind. Not that I believed they would.

As the man wrote, "Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, Signifying nothing."

And no, I am not naming anyone here an "idiot". Except maybe myself.

Maybe.

By the way, the incident of McCain speaking at the Lorraine Motel in Memphis: He did NOT refer to having voted against the Civil Rights Act and now realizing he was wrong to have done so. McCain talked about having voted against making MLK's Birthday a holiday in the eighties, and that he now regretted having done so. I don't characterize his words that day. Just setting the facts straight for you.

http://marcambinder.theatlantic.com/archives/2008/04/mccain_at_the_lorraine_motel.php

"As McCain began to apologize for his 1983 vote against a national MLK day holiday, there were a few boos, but also a few shouts of "we forgive you."

The "landmark" Civil Rights Act that changed America forever was passed in 1965. McCain entered Congress in 1982.

KOS

HE -

Two words:

Eddie Hazel

Two more words:

Maggot Brain

Two last words:

DIG IT!

CF

Harlan, what's your opinion on Segovia's student, Christopher Parkening? Do you have any favorite pianists?

Your Union Card To The Sociopaths of America

To respond as quickly as I can to those last hoorahs:

The reductio ad absurdum on U.S. policy in the Vietnam war reminds me of a debate I once had here with Xanadu, who used to post here regularly.

On the subject of capital punishment, Xanadu argued that dealing with violent crimes is essentially a war; as in every war you have casualties, those occasional tragedies when someone executed later proves to be innocent. However regrettable it is the price we pay for any war.

I countered that he would not be so indifferent if HE were one of those guys sitting in the chair or at the end of a lethal injection while knowing he was innocent of the charge. I mean it's gotta be one of the deepest horrors in human experience.

When you shut off all empathy you shut off just about every level of higher thinking. You don't learn from it, because you just go on accepting these precepts.

My knowing McCain was a consciousless instrument in a war we were LIED into (review Johnson's news black-out on the Gulf of Tonkin), makes it VERY difficult for me to reconcile his otherwise brave act when he wouldn't leave that prison. He didn't mind killing "gooks" then, and I don't think it eats at him now.

I consider this quandary a moral conflict at best; I sure as hell don't regard it as simplistic idealism.

"That's war":

About 58,000 Americans were killed in Vietnam, while over 1,000,000 North Vietnamese were killed.

But THAT'S war.

587,000 civilians were killed.

But THAT'S war.

How much have we learned from Nam?

How much did we learn from Granada?

How much ARE we learning from Iraq?

I sure as hell don't believe we've learned enough. And I think, as long as we refuse to empathize with the other side, our definitions or justifications for our acts in a war get muted, and, in turn, motives get very easily exploited by our own leaders.

Honey West
Harlan, did you have anything to do, uncredited, with this interesting series, just released on DVD, or were you out of the Aaron Spelling loop by then?

REVIEWING A PURPOSELESS POST

PHILIP SHROPSHIRE:

Geez, Philly; no need to get yer drawers in a hootch. There must be SOME artist of one or another rigor, whose work leaves you uninterested, at worst just cool, no?

So why does a casual "not my cup of tea" about Hendrix, made years ago, still stick in yer craw?

Is this not nuts and a wee mite weird obsessive?

I didn't suggest we tie Jimi to a trailer hitch and drag him; I didn't revile his work, his DNA, and/or his choice of packaged lunchmeats. I just simply, soberly, en passant, sans rancor, responded to someone asking if I liked Hendrix's guitar playing; and I said I preferred (among others) Coryell, Pepe Romero, Djamgo Reinhardt, Grant Green, Eddie Condon, Andres Segovia, Anita Sheer, and dozens of others, including Stevie Ray Vaughan.

Now, you may have nothing more serious to dwell on in these parlous times, but I suggest to you that even REMEMBERING such a casual opinion, without meaning or weight or value, would be to clutter your attic with dustmote detritus unworthy of a dust-bunny...but to return out of Lurk Mode to raise it...to what end I haven't the vaguest...is something you might to discuss with a professional.

I am bewildered by the petty shit people can dredge up to toss at the wall. Yeah, maybe "carpet-bombing" is worth a few moments of discussion, but whether or not I enjoyed Jimi Hendrix guitar riffs is so beneath notice...well...if I gave a shit, Phil, I'd worry that you need attention.

Respectfully, Harlan Ellison

SHAGIN:

The very finest of the many houses producing museum quality historical miniatures (toy soldiers to the inapt) is the St. Petersburg Collection. They are painstakingly created in Russia by little old men wearing xxxxx+ scope magnifiers, using brushes with one bristle. The St. Petersburg Collections are sold through a number of American distributors, primary among which is Aero Art. But there are all manner of websites for such items -- R&K, Red Lancers, Michigan Toy Soldier, and on and on. They are magnificent good things for a jackanapes to collect. History in small. A dragoon can lead a curious child to Balaklava or The Hot Gates or Amiens or Tarawa.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

1976 Interview
Is practically on its way to Harlan from Richard Eiswerth, who conducted the interview. He also said: "...please pass along my appreciation for his tenacity and gumption in continuing to tilt at all the damn windmills -- and thanks again for being so patient and accommodating to a young pup on the cusp of a broadcasting career."

Asked him to send three copies, if possible, include all the broadcast details, contact info etc., as usual.

So no Plan B, guys, but thank you!

As for Frank saying that the interviewer was boring and asked dumb questions - the announcer said Richard was entirely responsible for making it happen. Thanks to him Harlan was invited and we have this great document from another era. It's not easy for an interviewer not to come across as boring or bland when interviewing Harlan, as we have seen numerous times. Also Harlan wasn't frustrated by him at all, I seldom saw him enjoy an interview, but here he was having fun. They had some sort of rapport. So thumbs up to Richard (who today is a CEO of an important public radio station in Cincinatti, according to Google).

Brent's
My grandmother was obsessed with Brent's Deli, In the end she ended up HATING every restaurant in existence...except Brent's.
I can remember trying to reason with her when it came to deciding on a place to eat and how increasingly difficult it became as the years passed;
"well what about (such and such) deli Grandma..?
"NO! Their TERRIBLE!"
"Well how about (such and such) you like them don't you?"
"NO!"
"Oh i know, (such and such) you still like them don't you?"
"NO!..PHEGH!!"
"well what place do you like"?
"NOTHING, their ALL TERRIBLE!!!"
except for Brent's, she accepted them

Still in line at Zingerman's
Kudos Brian. I got that thought before the speech but for an entirely different reason. I think we have another investigation and resignation on the horizon.


Took a road trip to Ann Arbor (last there in 1973) this past Saturday and found that the A2 crowd: a) Takes their football very seriously, b) has a great love for Zingerman's with lines of 15-20 people at different times, so I took the more sane approach and hit Detroit for the Jazz Festival. The Christian McBride Band and The Modern Jazz Messengers were great! A thoroughly fine day, though Zingerman's will have to wait for another trip.

Denvention II World Science Fiction Convention
In 1981 I attended the World Science Fiction Convention "Denvention II".
Quite a few people had mentioned to me that I had more than a passing resemblance to Harlan Ellison.
I entered the costume contest wearing a blazer and slacks with a large pair of sunglasses. I had myself introduced as the "World's Greatest Science Fiction Author" and walked onto the stage, snatched the mic from the announcer and angrily asked, "Why the HELL wasn't I asked to be guest of honor?"

Although his name was never mentioned everyone in the auditorium knew who I was supposed to be and gave me a standing ovation..

I have always wondered if this moment in time had ever gotten back to the man himself...

Don

I'm sorry for the double-post, but I have to say this: two minutes after my previous post, I came across John Nichols' column in _The Nation_ where he began with the same observation.

Just wanted to make it clear that I did _not_ crib from one of my betters.

BRIAN - Thanks for the link. Well, sort of. Reading about his accompilshments and realizing how much this unknown (to me) fellow influenced my life made me smile early in the morning (and without chocolate, even, not an easy accomplishment), but learning he'd passed followed that smile with a sigh.

***

POPPER - I discovered "Little, Big" in my teens and found it enjoyably complex with images that stay with me even today. "Engine Summer" was a little harder to get into, but still a worthwhile read. Check it out if you get the chance.

***

The son of a dear friend of mine was admitted to the local hospice care facility two days ago. I sat with her last night, and I'll be going back today after the boys are off to school. Have I mentioned recently how much I dislike cancer?


shagin

The followig occurred to me this morning, about Sarah Palin.

We have a Presidential candidate who's been angling for the job for years, even for a time enduring the execration of his own party. He's finally earned a shot at the Presidency, his chances better now that his former opponents have thrown the country into an extremely unpopular war.

And as his running mate, he decides that he's not going to go with the usually well-established insider. He chooses a state Governor who's approach matches his own self-image. And once he lets the running mate loose, we get long speeches that don't offer much on policy, but shovel up loads of complaints about liberals, intellectuals, and the news media, and appeals to the resentments of those citizens who really think that their voice has gone unheeded by all those pointy-headed elites.

John McCain has given us a Spiro Agnew for a new generation.

Hey, I just finished this book and it was awesome. Wanted to post because it is a must-read... really.
"Little, Big" by John Crowley.
The Amazon posting:
"The epic story of Smoky Barnable, an anonymous young man who travels by foot from the *City* to a place called Edgewood - not found on any map - to marry Alice Drinkwater, as prophesied.
It is the story of four generations of a singular family living in a house that is many houses on the magical border of an otherworld."
Seriously, it is a good read.
I found this whilst browsing links to Frederick of Barbarossa, who appears as a character.
(Hydrox satisfied in Cleveland, too. THANK YA -- SMILE)

R.I.P. Bill Melendez
Just read about this here:

http://www.latimes.com/news/printedition/california/la-me-melendez4-2008sep04,0,4615343.story

OK, while my brother was geeking out on Star Trek, I was at home watching the same 75 or so WB cartoons that the syndicated station, WPIX in New York ran, as well as the occasional Peanuts special. They gave and give me great pleasure many times over. Also, my father taught me Roman numerals and the cartoon copyrights made me fast at reading them.

I was able to tell Rod Scribner and Phil de Lara's work on Bugs Bunny (look at how his mouth opens widely), Isadore Freleng's style as a director (i.e., slow chases), Robert Clampett's (MANIC action) and in all of this obsessive credit reading, I noticed the name of "J.C. Melendez"as one of the animators on the parade of cartoons in my childhood.

I am a HUGE fan of this man's work and I admire not only his longevity, but the founding of his own studio in an industry that I gather was probably not too kind to Latin-Americans.

After reading this article, I now see that I was a bigger fan of his than I realized. Versatile, talented and above all, he was Snoopy!

You may disagree with me all you like, but his passing is the passing of a giant for me. He left behind a huge amount of amazing work.

Brian Phillips

War
I choose to think that those who refuse to fight are braver than those who blindly kill whatever their superiors point at.

Jesus and Gandhi are braver than anyone who ever went into battle.

Forget the knee-jerk "soldiers are admirable" thing.

I'm not a Christian, but there's no footnote in the Bible that says killing is OK in war. Killing is wrong under any circumstances.

Sure, I'd kill a guy coming at me and my family with murderous intent.

And I'd be wrong to do it.

It takes quite a lot to make me agree with just about anything KOS (as opposed to Kos of "The Daily" fame), but I have to say that he's made some more than salient points tonight.

Also, while it's hardly in the league of curing cancer/AIDS, finally doing something meaningful about poverty in this country or keeping Sarah Palin from ever getting near the White House even on a tour...there's currently a new fundraising endeavor underway to save the now-desperately-dilapidated house in Cleveland where Jerry Siegel created Superman in the 1930s:

http://io9.com/5044406/save-the-birthplace-of-superman

Hydrox delivery
Hiding behind this ohsoclever nom de guerre for the purpose of hiding my blatant but sincere double-posting, I report that I have in my possession enough Hydrox to mail two packs to DTS in Melbourne,,and two to Shagin.

Contact me at the email above, and I will hie the goods onward to their eagerly salivating and deserved recipients.

We can haggle out the payments later.

Hieronymous Hydrox The Douibleposter

How To Download Youtube Vids
Delurk Mode On.

Actually, you can download any video from anywhere, but especially Youtube because its so popular, in several different ways.

If I was to recommend a way to Harlan, or more specifically Harlan's wife or Mrs. McCain (to download really any youtube vid) I would recommend this service called Keepvid.

http://keepvid.com/

All you have to is take, for example, part one of this youtube video with Richard and place the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YcNQc9DTkLc

over at Keepvid. And it will give you two options for either a flv download or a higher quality MP4 download.

Wait ten seconds and viola. You should be able to download the videos to your computer. There are lots of other ways to do this by the way. I have about five or six on my computer. But Keepvid usually works pretty well.

Sincere Advice from the Official Ellison Webderland Supervillain,

Philip Shropshire
www.threeriversonline.com

PS: I couldn't let this one go. Several years ago, I think someone on the board mentioned Jimi Hendrix as a great guitarist and Harlan the Great Man responded with something along the lines of he wasn't that impressed and a really really great guitarist Is Larry Coryell. Harlan was right and Larry Coryell is a great great guitarist but do you know who Larry Coryell's favorite guitarist was? Yes, you can see this one coming probably, Coryell thought Jimi Hendrix was the greatest guitarist of all time. IN fact, Larry not only saw Hendrix perform live a number of times he also visited the studio where Hendrix recorded, arguably, some of the best recorded and produced music ever made. And Larry Coryell is also right. Hendrix was the best in terms of phrasing, originality, showmanship and I always thought he was an underrated lyricist...it's clear that he was drenched in Dylan.

PPS: You can also see Larry Coryell, Portishead, the Mahavishnu Orchestra, Bjork and a thousand other bands and vids (not to mention Harlan Ellison, especially the pay the writer robin williams stuff) at the Acid Jazz Channel. I'm using software out of Hungary that allows you to create your own tv channel. Harlan could do it too if he wanted or I could do it for him. I just need the Youtube vids he would like to see...consider that an offer from an old fan. The Acid Jazz Channel can be found at my website www.threeriversonline.com. These are all publicly available vids that artists haven't pulled from Youtube. Hard to find a Prince tune for example...

KOS - Well put.

I can't say if war is wrong or right, it's too easy to fall into either camp, but I do believe that if you're going to wage war you should be prepared to take whatever course of action is necessary to win the day, whether later generations approve or not. Yes, war is as much about chivalry as it is brutality, but in the end you must be prepared to cut the other man's heart out and serve it up on a silver platter.

I only wish humanity was better able to celebrate its differences rather than kill one another over them.

***

HARLAN - What company makes the high end soldier/historical figurines that you collect? I wanted to show the website to Young Jackanapes, and a fellow collector who had inquired, but I can't find the reference in the archives (my eyes always cross before I get that far).



shagin

I like this place --

The conversation is interesting.

KOS - Good post. Politically I'm about a country mile to the left of you, but you are articulate and passionate and always give me food for thought.

In this case I happen to agree with most everything you wrote, but I like it when your posts challenge my views as well. It's good brain exercise.

Keep it up.

MM

1976 Interview on YouTube
Hi Harlan & Jan,

I've got a copy of each of the 4 parts of the interview off of youtube and onto my computer. I'd be happy to burn them onto a disc and pop them in the mail if Jan is unable to track down a better quality copy.

Cheers!
~Alisha

Monday Morning John McCain
Rob:

McCain is toast in this election. Like it, dislike it, he cannot win.

I note your posts on the horrors of Rolling Thunder and McCains' participation therein:

But:

Nations keep, raise and train the "pit bulls" we name soldiers, sailors and marines. They nurture and succor these creatures with great honors and treats. They feed the young men (and now women too) with tales of glory and honor, the exploits of their fathers' and the prospect of the sweet fruits of victory. In John McCain's case he was the son and grandson of four star admirals, men who served in the Second World War, a near-mythic conflict to those who grew up in the forties and fifties. He was expected to follow them. He wanted to follow them. He could have easily gotten out of anything so dangerous as flying attack jets from an aircraft carrier. He could have easily "G.W.ed" his way into some easy billet. He could easily have been a newspaper reporter for a military newspaper like the son of a senator from Tennessee did when he went to Vietnam.

Sure, he chose to volunteer to go to Viet Nam and bomb the targets he was ordered to. What do you expect the pit bull to do when you spend fourteen years feeding and caring for it, trainging it at great cost to fight and then you actually give it the chance to do the very thing you have told it for those fourteen years is its’ destiny, glory, stock in trade and that you WANT it to do it, it is necessary, and then you CHEER it on as it does it? If a dog has enough “honor” that it will not refuse, then does a man? More to the point, it is in the nature of men and dogs to not act other than their nature, and criticizing them for acting as is their nature is a mugs’ game. Thoreau had it right, and yet not all men have it in them to be Harlequins.

Do recall that it was a wildly popular Democratic, Liberal, Progressive President that first expanded our involvement in Viet Nam, that an equally popular, liberal, progressive Democratic President initiated the bombing of North Vietnam, committed half a million ground troops to Viet Nam, and literally hand picked many of the targets in the Rolling Thunder bombing campaign.

Then recall, or read history if you are not old enough to recall, that Johnson won a landslide election in 1964 against the Republican Goldwater by lying that, unlike Goldwater, he was not going to throw bombs around SouthEast Asia like firecrackers on a Texas Fourth of July.

Lying and people dying? It's nothing new in American politics.

Blame the leaders, yes. Blame the people more. Viet Nam in 1967 was still popular. When I was a freshman in high school, it was 1967. My “homeroom” teacher was a Marine Corps Reserve Lieutenant who had served a tour in Viet Nam. He was one of the more popular teachers on campus. Students loved to listen to his stories of fighting the Evil Commies.

This was in an upper middle class southern California city. I had the interesting cultural experience of leaving that city in 1967, and moving to Alabama for a year and a half. I returned in the fall of 1968 to the same city and high school. The war was no longer popular, but it was not all that unpopular. Mostly it was just there, we did not talk about it, and everyone knew someone who had been to Viet Nam, many knew someone who had died there.

Spring of 1970, when I graduated high school, the Cambodian invasion and Kent State Shootings made the war massively unpopular in Huntington Beach. Enough so that high school students wore black armbands and ditched school to protest. It was no longer cool to listen to war stories, unless you ended with a rant against THIS war.

For most of that time and place, that was the sum of it: “cool” or “not cool”. Older people, college students and adults, had deeper motives. But it had sunk to our level, and that was how we saw it.

Word to the wise, reminding not informing: Killing civilians with bombs did not start in Viet Nam. Would you be “OK” with criticizing World War Two pilots who killed civilians, unintentionally, as vehemently as you have McCain?

In World War Two an ancient, cultured nation with a storied history acted in a well thought out plan designed to kill as many of its’ intended victims as possible, with all the resources at its’ disposal in a coldly calculated industrial process.

No, I do not refer to the German genocide pf the Jews, the“Holocaust” or “Shoah”.

Not this time.

I mean the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, when they used the RAF Bomber Command in a massive campaign of virtually unaimed, night area bombing of German cities in 1944-45 to (as they put it in the very best British Bureaucratese) "Dehouse" the working class of Germany. They killed about three million German civilians.

The British Establishment, after the war was safely over and won, reflected upon this “distressing” bit of history, and decided that, while Fighter Command (the “never so few…” heroes of the Battle of Britain) deserved a stained glass window memorial in Westminster Abbey, the one-hundred-thousand dead British and Commonwealth airmen of RAF Bomber Command did not deserve that honor.

The commander of Bomber Command in 1944-45, RAF Marshal Arthur Harris (later Sir Arthur, knighted for his efforts) had a nickname. One that was not given to him by his German targets. It was his own men, the pilots and crewmen of the Lancaster, Halifax and Mosquito bombers that so aptly called him “Butcher”.

Draw your own conclusions. I put your criticism of John McCains’ Viet Nam bombing right up there with that bit of British "Monday morning quarterbacking" that denied recognition to the men who slit throats for them.

What about George McGovern, Liberal, Progressive Democratic Senator and presidential nominee of 1972 who piloted a B-24 bomber in World War Two and who, I would bet dollars to donuts, killed civilians and I would further bet would not deny he likely did?

Do you know that the United States and United Kingdom killed more French civilians with bombs in World War Two than the Germans did? The Germans bombed France for four weeks in 1940, The Allies bombed France for four years. The French city of Caen was leveled by Allied bombers in 1944 to liberate it. Over a thousand French civilians died in the bombing. It was intentional, the Allies knew they would die. It was a "necessity of war". War is a crime itself. That it is also horrible is one of those little bonuses the universe has thrown in the path of the human race.

“Destroying the village to save it” did not start with Viet Nam.

The industrialized process of firebombing Japanese cities in the spring of 1945 was a carefully thought out plan of mass murder. What do you know of that? That the United States calculated the amount of wood in the average Japanese wooden house, calculated further the number of houses to the acre in an average Japanese city, added up how many pounds there were of combustible materials of all types there were in each acre of those Japanese homes, then determined scientifically and dispassionately To The Ounce how much napalm was needed per acre to efficiently ignite all of that fuel, and then equally carefully determined how to strip down a B-29 of all guns, armor and unneeded crewmen, then load it with the maximum “payload” of napalm canisters (each canister carefully designed to hold the exact amount of napalm, not a gelatinous drop more nor less, needed to ignite it's target). Then carefully calculated to the instant, altitude and speed where and how those canisters ought be dropped to accomplish their task of inferno, even to the point of removing the bombardier from the "Decision Loop", replacing him with an intervalometer, a timer that ticked over metronomically with little solenoids and gears, mindlessly careful as it dropped one canister every five seconds from five thousand feet and 250 miles an hour in -just- the right pattern to:

Create a firestorm, a man made hurricane of flame that with literal arms of fire pulls everything for miles around inward to the white hot heart of itself, consuming all in its’ flaming mouth, a Moloch that stalked Japan each and every night for 100 days. An all consuming fire, which the Greeks first named a “Holocaust”.

Some B-29 pilots reported roofs and doors from Japanese homes flying past them in thermal updrafts. Flying UP past them at five thousand feet above the flames.

Below them asphalt flowed like black water as women and children died choking in boiling lakes where they had sought relief from the all consuming heat.

Yet those pilots came home, they and the other crewmen of those engines of destruction, to a heroes welcome. The young candidate pit bulls, the John McCain's who were children then, they watched this. So do you really expect them to NOT go to Viet Nam and drop high explosives on power plants, even if in the process they kill civilians "unintentionally"?

To disobey orders or fail to volunteer when asked to undertake missions that would obviously or even intentionally kill "innocent civilians"?

Really?

Sure, it's okay to raise pit bulls and feed them into the meat grinder. But don't ever blame the bloody hands that nurture and feed the warriors, the same hands that eagerly turn the hands of the meat grinder we name “war”.

It's you, and me, and all the other Good People that once and future eagerly condemn the warrior.

I won't vote for John McCain, but I won't tell convenient lies to slur him and cover my own ass, either. I have blood on my hands. As do you. As do we all.

Our shit does stink.

Not to mention, if McCain did wrong in your eyes, would five and a half years in a third world tropical prison be punishment enough?

KOS

???

Wuzzat a dig? That seemed like a dig. (I couldn't tell for sure 'cause it was in German.)

(But it sounded like a dig.)



(And for anyone who takes this post too seriously, I'm kidding as much as Jan is...)(God forbid we start another series of misunderstandings.)

___________________________________

So Cris and I were talking during the intermission of the musical Wicked and I mentioned I'd forgotten how much it's an anti-Bush play. (Subplots involve compulsory conformity, the government invading privacy, manipulating the public perceptions of "persons of interest", puns involving Norm Crosby/Bush-esque malapropisms, etc.) She was surprised, said she hadn't considered it, but laughed out loud in surprise when a character used the word "misunderestimated" in the second half.
___________________________________

HARLAN - That logo is proving difficult to get. Cris and I are working on it, and should have it by tomorrow, but it's not yet in the mail. (So mebbe Jan was right all along. *sigh*)
___________________________________

We had dinner with a friend in NY, who is to New York's restaurant scene what Harlan is to LA's: A vast compendium of information, with recommendations that are always spot on.

I mentioned it to him, and was surprised when he said "The BOY AND HIS DOG guy??? Helluva book, and I LOVE that movie!!! Tell 'im I said 'thank you'!"

interview with Harlan at CBR
http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=article&id=17926

by Jonathan Callan, Contributing Writer
Wed, September 3rd, 2008 at 1:23PM PST

. . .There's an old expression: Never meet a man whose work you admire. The man is always so much less than the work.

Legendary writer Harlan Ellison might not be less than his work, but he's not shy about making sure people don't confuse the two. . . .

http://www.comicbookresources.com/?page=article&id=17926#storyContinued

Yippee, I can double post today!!!

Getting things from YouTube is plan A/plan B task.
--Plan A (which I am executing right now) is to ask the person who provided it to send you copy (good quality). Let's wait a day or two.
--Plan B (if said person doesn't check his/her messages) - one of us converts it and puts it on a DVD for Harlan - technically easy but the quality isn't quite as good. (Whoever does this, please contact me in case you don't know how to access the ORIGINAL file etc.)
Bodkin and I will be able to make one of the two happen.

Did I mention I loved the interview? And today I happened to read a story I really liked as well - "Try a Dull Knife".

Harlan, we knew why you couldn't come (you told me yourself on the phone, and the other time was when you were sick), and we knew you would have loved to come & have a chat with us over great food despite your schedule etc. There was never any question about any of that, and in fact I was pleasantly surprised to learn you even *considered* coming down in the first place. Plus, you've been awfully nice and generous long-distance, as you well know.

Which reminds me, have you received the Polish McSweeney's? Should arrive any time now from Polish address. After that you will have some more books in about two or three months. The Spanish Judith Krantz first editions and so on, though they are quite heavy and prohibitively expensive.

By the way, regarding acknowledgments, while I admit I deserve some kudos, what efforts of Barber could you possibly be thinking about?

ANOTHER EDNA ST VINCENT MILLAY QUOTE
“Pity me that the heart is slow to learn / What the swift mind beholds at every turn.”

Ain't THAT the friggin truth

I looks like I'm able to, um.. acquire that interview and commit it to DVD. I'll know for certain if it worked after it has worked. I'll check in later...

BURN NOTICE
The fun part for me in watching BURN NOTICE are its parallels to THE PRISONER. :-)

THAT 1976 INTERVIEW ON YOUtube


JAN AND/OR ANYONE ELSE:

No, I do NOT have this in my archive! If ANYBODY has the e.smarts to get me a physical copy (disk? papyrus? smoke signal?) I will pay my way for your effort. RSVP, anyoldbody.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

P.S.: Jan, I had one of my reg'lar chats with Rick Wyatt, our Highly Commendable Webmaster, and he made a SPECIAL POINT of asking me to thank you righteously and fulsomely for your grand work on the S.P.I.D.E.R. Forums (to which I have access, but STILL cannot password-post any comments)(which, come to think of it, is a blessing for all of us). Yeah, I've been meaning to hoist the pennon in gratitude, but have just been otherwise majorly distracted. So consider yourself clapped on the shoulder, and your touseled locks further, well, touseled.

P.P.S.: Oh by the way. Just en passant: it was brought to my attention by a mutual friend of ours that one of the louts sent to Coventry from here, appeared over on one of your Forums and emitted a hyena bray at you, suggesting that you had been snubbed by me when you were in LA. We BOTH know that is bullshit but, for anyone--including the spineless hyena--who might accept that random bit of wretched paralogia as Accepted Wisdom, there was one and only one reason I didn't see you when you were in town...or my good friend Doug Lane, when HE was here...or my nephew Loren, when HE was here...

I was unwell. Twice in the grasp of the medicos over the last couple of months (I'm fine; I'm jes' FINE!) makes socializing a burden and wearying. So, Jan, you can tell that creep to shove his fist as far up his ass as he can grasp, and yank out whatever passes for brains impacted up there. You are peaches in my book, and Rick's, too.

P.P.P.S.: I'll get to thanking you for YOUR efforts soon enough, Barber. Hang by your thumbs till that time.

P.P.P.P.S: JAMES MORAN--Susan and I got around to watching SEVERANCE last weekend, for which opportunity I thank you again. And I've been meaning to call you to chat about same, but what with one thing and another, and our disparate time-zones, I just haven't gotten to it. But: to allay your tremble, even though we both know that gore-flix are about twenty fathoms below the most detestable films fit for endless revile from my Etna of a mouth...

I enjoyed it immensely.

I think the fan-boy pinheads who write the copy for the clam-box: "Good gory funstuff!" or suchlike vomitous gibber, should be (as I've suggested for Bush&Cheney) stripped naked, with hands cuffed, lifted onto a heavy meathook screwed into the top half of a Dutch door, arms above head, and should be beaten across the belly and kidneys with an aluminum ballbat till their piss runs red.

Other than that, I thought it was a pretty damned fine effort. There is work for you in this line of pettifoggery, Moran.

We shall speak anon. Until that time...

Yr. Pal, Harlan, with a nod to She Who Warbles

HE at CBR
There's a good interview up at comicbookresources.com. As of now it is on the front page. Part 2 should follow tomorrow, maybe.

sfx
Harlan-sent out the SFX Tuesday. The SFX's and the Doctor Who magazines I buy for myself to read. It's a pleasure to know that I can pass them on to someone else who can get joy or use out of them. As far as postage goes, well, consider that my contribution to the Harlan and Susan Thai Appetizer Fund. Listen, if I buy a copy of Jews Without Jehovah you can reimburse me for that and, to quote Big Will Daniher in The Quiet Man, "and not before!" Stay well (just out of the hospital myself) (also high on the ICK factor)JZ

I've turned my buddies in AA on to "Angry Candy", in particular my favorite work of yours, "The Region Between". A lot of them are voracious readers. That collection has a lot of resonance with people in the program. I don't know if you ever thought of your work as particularly applicable to people of the AA persuasion, but I can speak for myself when I say that it really speaks to me in a deeply personal way. Not to beat a dead horse, but I love your work and it has done a lot to inspire me and fire my imagination. Best wishes to you and yours. Maybe I can repay the favor and send along some of my performances of the Chopin Nocturnes for you two. You're the literary equivalent of Chopin in my estimation.

THE HELM

Unca Harlan,

Per your recommendation, ran out at lunch and picked-up issues 1 and 2 (yep, 2's out there) of THE HELM. Looking forward to sitting in my comfy chair and reading tonight. Thanks for the tip.

Burn Notice: I thought I was the only one who watched the first season of this the first time around. It feels like a guilty pleasure but I'm convinced it has depth sprinkled sparingly throughout.

Palin the Would-Be Book Banner
Why am I not surprised? She talks about how much she loves mooseburgers. Gee, I don't know. I keep picturing her, with that big smile of hers, eating Bullwinkle...

Sarah Palin Wants to Ban Books
http://www.unbossed.com/index.php?itemid=2245

"... one aspect of her controversial early career is getting more attention – her attempt during her first year as mayor to ban books in the town library."

Since the interesting question about what defines a "hero" has come up often here, and YOU'VE talked about it many times yourself, I thought I'd pass on the course of the discussion since Steve took exception to my initial comments on McCain in Nam:

Frank's statement: "McCain still believes what he did was right--a distinct difference. McCain knew who he was bombing."

A DISTINCT difference!

THAT'S FUCKIN' PRECISELY THE POINT!!!

It's the crux of the whole question.

Learning and responding to the ethics of your actions. Let's put it this way: there's a fundamental difference between a BRAVE act, as when McCain refused to leave his comrades in that prison, and a HEROIC act.

(In this sense, I only considered Kerry a hero in his actions after he returned to Washington to denounce our role in the war)

It kinda reminds me of when McCain went to the spot of King's death at the Lorraine Motel in Memphis to cater to the black crowds, ever so courageously declaring: "I voted AGAINST the Civil Rights Bill back then. I was wrong."

FUNNY he never mentioned that before he was ever a candidate. I mean he had a LONG time to do so.

He's ALL bullshit. As some "hero" or anything else. He's the purest product of media spin. YEARS of it.

Look: you know what?

If the media had consistently put out McCain's entire story in Nam - because I don't think people have a clear picture about RT - and THEN you think he was some goddamn hero, FINE. The death of Vietnamese civilians has little personal relevance to you, and you embrace your own definition of what makes a hero.

In MY view, however, the word is used FAR too often for jingoistic myth-weaving. Like America's Old West.

I won't belabor it here beyond that.

Palin recall
For anyone interested, here's an article about the recall of Sarah Palin when she was mayor, written by a citizen of that city:

http://andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com/the_daily_dish/2008/09/an-wasillan-on.html

Jan, yea, lucky; if only I had bionic hearing. That thing is realllly lowwwww. Had to clamp my hands over my spuds to hear anything.

Harlan is obviously frustrated at the dumb questions, plus the interviewer is about as boring as grass growing. This is another fishhead on the assembly line that Harlan has to walk past. Great political stuff in the interview.

Didn't know Reagan bugged Harlan's phone. Loved his bit about Nixon. He did have a love affair with that Perrier bottle.

He mentioned that British television was racist and sexist. Today they would call him pc.

He is really angry here, which is our red meat. You get the better answers when the firehose is aimed at the firey wreckage. We know the sweet side, but this deadly side is good as well. Keeps the bad people away. We know the truth.

We're lucky today
A full thirty-minute interview with Harlan done in 1976 is now on YouTube in its original form. This was conducted for a public TV program in New York called Extension 24 by Richard Eiswerth. Harlan talks about all the '70s career-related subjects we're familiar with, but most of all is asked to comment on television a lot. Don't miss it. Turn up the volume because the sound wasn't recorded too well. (And Harlan, you do have a copy of this?)

http://www.youtube.com/user/DrArchieWithers

Harlan is very at ease and manages to sneak in lots of free advertising for Perrier. If you watch carefully, you might even see him smile and giggle. This kind of uncut material is what I once remarked was missing from documentaries and audio CDs which only contain selections of Harlan.

Other news: Hey, Europe managed to put an end to this new cold war pretty well.

KOS and LORI and my slow typing...
Oops.
KOS beat me to the explanation.
THANKS, KOS! I await your fact-strewn post with salivation! (Or is that salvation?)

STD (er, DTS, who wont post again till KOS has the cakes...biscuits...cookies -- whatever!)

TO LORI, with love and an understanding of ADDled brains
Hey LORI: I understand it when people get things backwards or turned around (DST): I have a bit of dyslexia. I also understand it when people rush so fast they forget something or miss someone in their peripherals (I also have ADD, ADHD, or something).

My email to you explained that I posted here in reply to KOS...who was the one that offered to buy Hydrox cookies.
So it is KOS, not I, who must be tracked down and paid off. I'm just another schlub, albeit on another continent, who was hoping to get his mitts on a pack of those cookies.

Good luck,
DST (er, DTS)

Cookies
I -suspect- there be a bit of confusion going down around town.

DTS asked me if i could send him Hyrdox in Melbourne, OZ. I don't believe he can send any, unless OZ is gifted with Hydrox?

ASSUMING the store still has them (I will check later today):

Yes, DTS, I will get you some. Let me see what two packs weigh and get you a shipping cost, I -think- Air Mail to OZ from California will be around about $6 or $7, but I will get back to you soonest with accurate pricing.

All of those that wish to purchase Hydrox through my source, again ASSUMING I can still get them, should email at the address on this here piece of scrivening.

Payment: well I have a PayPal account name I can send to you through email, or I can send a box number to mail money in various forms.

"Now the warden and the preacher
They're lettin' me go slow
It won't be long until I'm gone
Just thirteen steps to go
And you put me here
You put me here
There's just one way to figure
Your cheatin' pulled the trigger
As sure as your name's Kate
You put me here
Well there ain't no need to doubt
There ain't no two ways about it
As sure as your name's Kate
You put me here

Kate, you just plain bad, you know that..."

Johnny Cash rocks. He and Jerry Reed are having a great time tonight.

"Just remember, you can't say hell or shit or anything like that."

KOS

TO SUSAN RE: THE RABBIT HOLE
I'm not sure if I included this info on my recent renewal mailing. My new mailing address is ...

3167 San Mateo Blvd. NE #279
Albuquerque, NM 87110

Formerly,
1800 W. Roscoe #312
Chicago, IL 60657

Cheers!

SJPO

DON LAFONTAINE and JERRY REED....

Well, poopy....


shagin

This is gonna bet me busted
on a couple of levels.

But it's all in the name of getting me some Hydrox, so it's very worth it.

DST, you'll never guess what happened! I was doing my last email check before going home today, and I found you mail in my spam folder...

In my super excited state to open it, and get my 10 bucks together, I accidently trashed the email... And worst of all I can't find it in my trash either...

So if you'd be a DOLL and try it again, with the same Re:Hydrox in the subject line.... I'd be ever so grateful to you.

*trying to think of a way to pay penance to both Rick and DTS at the same time*

Lori

THIS is a critic...
...on drugs.....

There has been a lot of talk hereabouts, about Myopic Movie Critics.

For your consideration.

THIS guy gits it done:

http://tinyurl.com/65yoce

Fans of Tom and Jerry (and/or classic animation) particularly welcome.

ISABELLA
TONY: Thanks, buddy. And tell Mike I'm, as he knows, a fan of the book, and if he wants to use my name to sell it somewhere else, Dark Horse for instance, he has my blessing. Tell him I'll wait.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

Harlan: Phantom Jack
My liege, I have word from Mike:

"Phantom Jack :The Nowhere Man Agenda GN was supposed to come out in March from Atomic Pop Art. But, they went under. So, once again, PJ is looking for a home"

Your faithful squire.

Um...did I just see a thumbs-up for the note-perfect *Burn Notice*? Oh god, I adore *Burn Notice.* It makes me giggle and smile and click my little heels with giddy fangirl glee. My most recent guilty TV pleasure. If *The Helm* hits similar perfect notes, I'll have to check it out....

The Helm
http://www.thehelmcomic.com/

Why I Loved Jerry Reed
In 1967 Jerry Reed was called into an Elvis recording session, where Presley had been struggling all day to record Reed's "Guitar Man". The King was frustrated because he wanted to capture the sound of Jerry's original version, which Reed solved by explaining that he had tuned the lower E string on his guitar way down into a crazy configuration. Jerry was hired to play on the session, and when he hit the intro of "Guitar Man" every face in the room lit up, including that of Elvis.

Now, what Jerry didn't understand was that Elvis (and the Colonel) got 50% of the publishing of any song Presley recorded, regardless of who actually wrote it. What Elvis (and the Colonel) didn't understand was that Jerry Reed wasn't gonna hand his song over to anybody, King or otherwise, and the stalemate continued long into the session (where normally business talk was verboten). Jerry didn't budge an inch, and Elvis loved his song so much that eventually he backed down, and the end result was a scorcher of a hit which helped revive Presley's career.

LAGNIAPPE

It is my hope, vainglorious at best, that if I am remembered not for my already-widely-misquoted "The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity," it will, pleezgawd, be my equally pithy "Yeah, sure, 'Life is Hard,' but if it weren't, EVERYbody would be doing it."

I don't think it was Edna St. Vincent Millay who said this, but she's handy, so I''ll thus attribute: "Life isn't one damn thing after another; it's the same damn thing, over and over."

Life throws us very few good chomps in a day. Every once inna, however, the universe slips up and something delicious, a fine ort of lagniappe, edges through the rift sidewise:

F'rinstance:

Eddie Izzard. BURN NOTICE. Hydrox. Akira Kurosawa. Madras mango corn soup. Keds Hi-Tops. Blossom Dearie. Any page of Gerald Kersh.

The Republicans tossing us Sarah Palin to masticate. (Having been unable, one presumes, to find either a bus to toss her under, or a rabid pack of seven-headed dogs to toss her TO.}

The Magna Carta. Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle. The Iliad. The Odyssey. Krema Natural Chunky peanut butter.

Really nifty stuff is the lagniappe I trumpet.

And so...at last...drifting on an ambient breeze...I come to the point...me to you...a solid, kids, a solid I do you. Not a BIG DEAL, just a small delight that might bring a crease of joy to your lips.

A comic book.

Don't start with me. If I'd said it was a grand mystery thriller by a French auteur, you'd cock your little walnuts with alertitude, and hmmm with expectation. Snobbish arses!
A comic book.

A GOOD little comic book. I think it is peaches!

Only the first issue has appeared, but it's out there, at your nearest comic shop. The author is a new guy, first time in the batting cage, and a little encouragement to his publisher would not hurt. His name is Jim Hardison, and his mini-series comic from Dark Horse is called

THE HELM.

Bart Sears is the artist, that toe-tapping favorite Dave Land is the editor, as I said--a Dark Horse Comic--and its existence will not change the course of mighty rivers, nor will it alleviate starvation in parched and piteous nations. But in this world of more dark than light, most of the time, this li'l item made me happy. I laughed, I cried, I winced, I waltzed, it became a part of me!

Go thee, and do likewise. Further, deponent sayeth not.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

Doesn't it suck we can keep track of great people who've died, but we can't keep track of great people who've just been born? "Hey, sorry to hear about Jerry Reed, but Blankity-blank-blank, the guy behind the cure for cancer, just came into this world! So buck up!"

News: BUCK ROGERS
While I was at DRAGON*CON, James Cawley (executive producer and star of STAR TREK: PHASE II) announced that he is busy working with the Dille Family Trust to secure the rights to do an exclusive BUCK ROGERS Internet series. Unlike the TREK fan productions Cawley has produced, this would be an official production authorized by the Dille estate. The webisodes will initially be set in the 1930's era of the original comic strip before of course moving ahead to the 25th Century, and, as a nod to 1970s nostalgia, may feature Erin Gray in the role of Dr. Huer.

Jerry Reed


He was terrific in a movie called BAT 21, from the late 1980's.

If you haven't seen it, please do track it down and watch.

Jerry Reed

"In a 1998 interview with The Tennessean, he admitted that his acting ability was questionable.

''I used to watch people like Richard Burton and Mel Gibson and think, `I could never do that.'

''When people ask me what my motivation is, I have a simple answer: Money.''

Harlan, my condolences on the loss of Mr. Reed.

Mr. Barber, welcome back to the madhouse, we missed you over in the Forums while you were gone. David had to place Frank in time out once or twice but everyone was generally well behaved in your absence

Adam-Troy, you are correct in your assertion about the Palin nomination being a blatant attempt to place a religious extremist in the White House, but it goes deeper than that. Based on her actions both as Mayor and Governor, I would surmise that she also subscribes to the Unitary Executive theory that Cheney has put forth. I will not use the name of the one President Harlan finds objectionable above all others, but the Unitary Executive theory is basically a take on that person's claim that "if the President does something, it cannot be illegal".

The Republican leadership (and I distinguish that from most of the mebers of the party or many of their elected officials) wants what is, in essence, an elected monarchy with the ability to override elected officials at their whim. Kinda like ancient Rome. Quite simply, McCain cannot win.

Fortunately, that is looking extremely unlikely as 2 of the 3 latest national polls (CNN being the exception), have Obama opening up a 6-8 point lead.

SOME PRETTY BAD NEWS

"Eastbound and down, loaded up an' truckin'...

The great Jerry Reed died today.

A quieter world, but definitely not a happier one.

-he

(Make that Flemish, of course. Sorry.)

Hidden self-portrait
The important Dutch painter Robert Campin (1375-1444) who is by now considered to have been as important as his contemporaries, the Brothers van Eyck, has integrated a small self-portrait of himself as a reflection in a stone into a rather famous painting of his that's in the London National Gallery. Somebody only now discovered the portrait in the stone after 600 years and you can see a magnifiable picture of it following the link below to a German article. (This will no doubt soon be reported in the UK and US too, I just don't want you to miss it.) He was a bearded guy and no one had any idea what he looked like.

http://www.faz.net/s/RubEBED639C476B407798B1CE808F1F6632/Doc~E4570C743DF444969896BFFD6EDC2F2F4~ATpl~Ecommon~Scontent.html

Hey DTS
If you're serious about the Hydrox offer, could you please email me an address to send your money order?


The address above works, just put the word Hydrox in the subject line so I know what's what.

Lori

Frank said: "Get rid of our stupid Bicameral system or at least make the Senate weaker. The idea that Wyoming has the same amount of Senators as California is crazy. This is why Obama has to cut all these deals."

Scratching my head down to the roots on this one, Frank. No senate? Just a single august body where each state is represented according to its population? A nation where New York, Texas and California get all the say?

I have no idea what fuels such silliness within you, but it doesn't matter in the long run. It's all just pissing into the wind.

And you keep quoting Jefferson, the guy who hated slavery, yet not only owned slaves, but refused to set them free at his death. I don't even know where to begin.

"The Delivery"
I just got back from Atlanta and DRAGON*CON where I saw the short film "The Delivery" (a pleasant surprise actually as I was there for my friend Chase's feature and this was screened just before that). Harlan, you were great in your dual role - I loved it! WOW! Sincerely hope it gets some kind of distribution...

A Brief Historical Flashback
First things first: belated thanks to Harlan for his kind words. Now to business: remamber when Reagan named Sandra Day O'Connor to the Supreme Court, the first woman to be appointed? One fine night, Tom Snyder turned his TOMORROW show over to a "debate" between Eleanor Smeal of NOW and John Lofton, probably the most obstreporous right-wing commentator in the pre-Limbaugh period. All that anyone knew of O'Connor at that point was that she was an active Republican from Arizona, an intimate of Barry Goldwater. Logic would have indicated that Lofton, the right-winger, would have supported O'Connor, while Smeal, the liberal activist, would be opposed. What transpired was the exact reverse - Smeal and NOW wanted a woman, any woman, on the high court, while Lofton, sounding like Vandergelder in HELLO DOLLY, trotted out all the old bromides about "a woman's place". I seem to recall that Snyder picked up on this anomaly (I don't recall how strongly) but for my own part I was just bewildered. That was many years ago, and I think I've passed the point of being surprised by anything, especially these days. So when I hear people say "Hilary voters won't just automatically jump to The Woman On The Ticket"... Hey, I hope that's what happens, but there's a lot of agendoids out there - more than enough to worry me. And I'm STILL worried about the Electoral College, too: a squeaker vote in one state can still screw it all up. I'm giving myself a headache, so I'll stop here; feel free to tell me what a fool I am.

Got back from NY last night to a houseful of instant hot chocolate. The dogsitter left said packets out in full reach of the dogs. And dogs will be dogs. (Fortunately, there's not enough chocolate in instant chocolate these days to pose a hazard to their health).
______________________________

I'm going to refrain from responding to the assertion that Navy pilots were leaping all over themselves to carpet bomb North Vietnam. Nixon, on the other hand, was all too happy to order them to do it. (Oh, but I will tell Rob you don't "park" aircraft carriers.)

McCain sucks. But in the same way I won't accept letting Republicans use his forty-year gone record in the military as a good in this campaign, nor will I accept that it can be held as a bad. It's irrelevant. The election of both Bush and Clinton suggests you don't need to serve in order to be Prez.
__________________________________

The spin machine is in overdrive, but the selection of Palin is such a "wha..???" that this alone ought to cost McCain the election (it won't. The Republicans don't behave that way). Her daughter's pregnancy is a family matter, but she's such a lightweight that it's clear the only thing McCain used as benchmarks were her religion and her uterus.

Hi, all. How is life? KOS, Mayor Daley said it, so it's gotta be da facts - Chicago Cubs vs. Chicago White Sox - Subway Series. Adam, I agree with you - The fact that Sarah Palin's daughter is pregant, that her husband had a DUI 20 years ago, non of this is relevant or important. What is her experience, especially with foreign relations, if she outlaws abortion, what does she plan to do with all the needy babys and unwanted children, will there be aid for their mothers and fathers, help for families who want to adopt them, a decent appropriately funded foster care program, where the children can be treasured ,loved, educated, valued. Will she be tolerant of all religions, cultures, people in this country? When and how will she end the insanity in Iraq? My hunch from what you guys have to say regarding her is that no compassion and sanity are not her dominant personality characteristics. When all data from the last five thousand years shows us clearly that there are no winners in war, as the technology advances, we all here on the planet just lose bigger, why are we so determined, so careless about how we kill, maim, devastate and destroy our fellow creatures? Has no one heard that the DNA of all humans on the planet differs in no significant way at all. In fact, our DNA is so almost exactly similar to the great apes that we have no business exploiting them either. I read a book last week about the Crimean War. It started, and this is Gospel truth, over whether the French Catholic Church or the Russian Orthodox Church had control over the keys of a church I believe the Church of the Nativity in the Holy Land. Of course, as in the war America is currently fighting with great injustice and futility, it was really about a struggle for position, power, land and money among the relevant powers that were at that time, the Tsar, Louis Napolean, Queen Victoria. "Meet the new boss, same as the old boss." See, I'm hoping that Obama actually has a very revolutionary plan up his sleeve, that at the moment he's just going along a little to get along, and when he is President, he will institute meaningful change, close down the military industrial ghouls, send that money to education, feeding people, providing insurance and health care to all citizens, getting truthful sex education into schools so there is less need for legalized abortion, etc. I may be a dreamer, but "I'm not the only one." For those who don't know,I'm most all of you do, the first quote is from the Who, and the second from John Lennon. Yes Frank, I am a grass grazer, but not as good a one as I should be. In the order which I gave them up, I don't eat Lamb, Veal, Pork, or Beef. For awhile I wasn't eating chicken or turkey either. Do eat fish but not lobster. This is totally based on my ridiculous fondness for animals. I'd have a 2000 acre farm and animal shelter is I had the bucks. And yes it's hard to be a quasi veggie in Chicago: gyros in Greektown, Italian sausage, beef sandwiches, and veal parm in Little Italy, pork dishes in Chinatown, etc, etc. We are the city of cheezeboooger, cheezeboooger. In terms of courageous people, John Lennon, because he tried to do what he felt was right, despite the fallout, Harlan for the same reason and because Harlan is very aware of his faults as well as his virtues, my parents because they married absurdly young, had no money or assets till the last ten years of their life, raised six kids through adverse conditions, recovered from alcoholic family situations and abusive fathers, and both faced cancer and cancer treatment with more grace and courage than I can imagine. My first cousin and ex-first cousin by marriage, John and Matt for being police officers in Chicago, my friend Tim for traveling to Africa to teach and help for a couple of years, my sister Karen and Sandra for dealing with their sons with disabilities with strengh and compassion, Cindy for doing what she did with style and courage, the people I met and still meet at the Rehabilitatin Institute, who live in sip and puff wheelchairs because they are completely paralyzed. Yet they continue to work and lobby and live with strength and grace and courage. Pope John Paul II for his compassion and his travels, Thomas Jefferson, John Adams, and Jimmy Carter. Martin Luther King, Barack Obama. And I think I am courageous, because I survived with much help from my doctors and family and friends a devastating car accident twenty years ago, that injured my brain, fractured my pelvis and hip and legs, has caused what i think is 18 surgeries by now, not counting the one that took out my gallbladder, and the heart stuff. I also lost my parents, my brother, my aunt who helped to raise me, my uncle, several friends and three cats and four dogs in the last 8 years. And there is a lot of days when I really feel I can't deal any more, really just can't do it one more day. Like the other day, when I figured I would just stay in bed, pull the covers over my head, and hold my breath till I turned blue and croaked. But i got up anyway. And I think that is courage, which many here and elsewhere exhibit in their daily lives. Courage in little things too, not just big things. Maybe it's that kind of courage in little things which can pave the way for courage in bigger things, like the firemen and police who rushed into the World Trade Center, or the police here in Chicago who rushed into a burning building to save children, when the fire men were delayed,Mahatma Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, I think their courage may be different in quantity not quality from Frank who espouses controversial ideas without flinching, Lori who teaches in difficult circumstances, poor Rick who deals with all of us, as well as Harlan !!!!! Adam who writes but has the guts to put his writing out there, running the terrible risk of rejection which I ain't got the balls for. And she ends the sentence with a preposition. Harlan, I started rereading Sherlock Holmes again. And I thought of you when I read this passage - in a Study in Scarlet, Sherlock says he thinks of the human mind as an attic of limited capacity. One must choose wisely what to put in it, or the important stuff will get crammed out. I think that explains yours, mine and others memory losses, brain farts as you termed them. Least it made me feel better the other day when I couldn't remember to save my life the name of that beautiful bird, blue with all the colorful tail feathers that he can fan out. I was talking to Rachel and I went through Pheasant, grouse, pigeon, etc. Rachel tried to help by providing Flamingo, she's 8. The word was gone with the wind out the front door down the road and on the train. Then last night, right before I fell asleep at 2 in the morning apropos of nothing, nada, zip, I shot up in bed, screaming peacock, peacock, peacock. The word got shunted aside, cause I wasn't using it often, but it was still there, down in the rafters. I was very satisfied with self, and slept greatly. That's all from Chicago, except I hope we don't get the Olympics. They've been torturing and mangling my beautiful city enough.

from OH BROTHER, WHERE ART THOU?

(Discussing how to counter Homer Stokes' campaign for governor)

Junior O'Daniel: We could hire our own midget, even shorter than his.

Pappy O'Daniel: Wouldn't we look like a bunch of Johnny-come-latelies, bragging on our own midget, doesn't matter how stumpy.
_________________
History is a vast early warning system. -Norman Cousins (1915-1990)

Various
DON LAFONTAINE, R.I.P.

Don LaFontaine, 68, died of a collapsed lung.

You know his work if you've been to the movies at any point in the last decade or so, whenever they screened the coming attractions.

You probably thought of him as the "In a World" guy.

"In a world...where justice was a forgotten memory...one man dared to stand up for what was right!"

He said, "In a world," at the beginning of so many coming attractions that people started making fun of him for it. He appeared in a Geico commercial as himself. Between coming attractions and his other voice-over work -- his work announced
some 5000 movies, and he had done as many as 27 voiceovers in one day -- he was reported to be the single busiest actor in the entire history of the Screen Actor's Guild.

By all reports, a wonderful man, generous to his fellow voice-over artists, he considered this his retirement job, as he'd held various jobs in film production before this, and fell into this by accident. He took it so less than seriously that if total strangers called him on the phone and asked nicely, he would record their own answering machine messages for them. "In a world...where Joe is not home right now...only one person could leave the message telling him who called!"

JUNO, ALASKA

You've been hearing a lot of stupid stuff about the true motherhood of Sarah Palin's baby, a controversy that makes her sound like a remake of JUNO set in Alaska. This is downright stupid, as a quick look at the calendar establishes that it's almost impossible for Palin's daughter to have given birth to this baby and be five months pregnant now. Palin is the Mom. Period.

None of this has anything to do with her fitness as a vice presidential candidate.

This is what you need to know.

Sarah Palin faced a recall as mayor of Wasilla, one month after her election. Reason? Abuse of power. She abused her power as the mayor of a small town with a population of 7000, firing her police chief and her libraries commissioner because they hadn't supported her mayoral bid. She was too corrupt to be a MAYOR.

As governor, she did the same thing. If you think the Bush Administration overstepped its power in politicizing the Justice Department, expect worse if Palin becomes President.

Second.

Why would McCain pick Palin, a woman he'd only met once and who he was not considering as recently as a month before the election? Who would support her? Answer: the religious right. Palin is an end-times fundamentalist, determined to fight abortion rights and push the armageddon theology of those who would love to blow up the middle east to bring about the prophecies of Revelation. This group was not happy with McCain -- they see him as way too liberal -- so they threatened to sit out the election if they couldn't have a red-meat christian like Palin. THIS IS AN OPEN ATTEMPT TO GET A THEOCRAT IN THE WHITE HOUSE.

Third.

Since Obama's pastor was more thoroughly vetted than McCain's vice-president, Harpers magazine decided to take a look at the pastors Palin has been listening to. And yes, the two of them have been praying for a nuclear war in the Middle East. And yes, the two of them have been calling for a religious theocracy in the United States. If the Reverend Jeremiah Wright scared you, Palin's pastors should make you piss your pants.

Misstated history my ass.

---------------

Courage is gravy, life the potato.

Howard Zinn for teaching at Spellman college when he could have picked any college. Integration being the main reason. Emmitt Till--I still say he laughed in those crackers' faces.

Noam Chomsky, for everything.

Harlan Ellison, for giving me gumption.

Emma Goldman, for walking the talk and standing up for anarchism.

Eleanor Roosevelt, for going against her husband by sticking with the poor, blacks.

Cesar Chavez, for showing people that illegal aliens are human.

Barbara Ehrenreich for showing how a real feminist should act.

Gotta go with Cindy as well. She is amazing. Sweet lady, really tough. The last sane Republican.

Father Michael Pflager, for not giving up on the poor, even though the media bitches lied about him and his ministry.

Major General Smedley Butler, who could have gone the clean way, but chose to tell the world the truth: he was a gangster for capitalism.

Eugene Debs, for showing the world that Socialism is the right way.

Malcolm X, for taking a bullett with a smile. Saying that self defense is not a crime, but never denegrating the peaceful side.

Chris Reeve, he could have whined, never did.

--------------

Let's be honest about Babe Ruth. If the negro leagues could have played with the white boys, believe me, Bambino's records would have been lowered--by a ton.

---------------

KOS, you're starting to make sense. A scary thing.

Unless we are attacked or there is an imminent threat of attack, we cannot legally bomb another country. We certainly cannot occupy a country. Sure, we can send arms to the good guys, but we usually get the wrong good guys. Humanitarian aid is fine, as long as there is no attack from us.

People have to clean up their own messes, overthrow their own leaders.

Come on KOS, sit on Daddies lap.

-------------

One thing we do need is a constitutional convention. Jefferson said we need one every generation. He is and was right. We really need to change parts of the Constitution, especially the Presidential powers part. Make the First Amendment more sound, the Fourth, etc.

Get rid of our stupid Bicameral system or at least make the Senate weaker. The idea that Wyoming has the same amount of Senators as California is crazy. This is why Obama has to cut all these deals.

The right would go apeshit, but if they cannot make their case for their ideas, then that's their fucking fault.

Why should California or Texas be punished for having a big population?

Jefferson had it right. Madison and Hamilton were just elite cruds.

Does that include....?
Hey KOS: Does that include the residents of Melbourne, Australia too? If so, I'll take two packs! ('Course, you'd have to trust me to pay you back either with cookies from Oz -- which I can -- or with Aussie money).

Serious as a heart attack (which I'll probably have if I wolf both backs down at once),
DTS

Hydrox
If you want Hydrox: I just spotted a shelf in a back corner of my local Von's Supermarket. This sighting is about one hours drive from Wonderland. There were sixteen boxes on the shelf, with nothing to mark them out as anything special save their lonely presence in faded blue wrapping and the magical white letters "HYDROX".

I got me a bag.

Holler if you want me to pick up some. $2.50 a bag.

I feel dirty.

KOS

When The Information Matters There's No One There To See It

One time here we had a brief tete-a-tete 'bout John McCain's brave adventures in Vietnam before his capture.

Frank misstated some history to the effect that McCain was involved in the carpet bombing.

But HOW far off was that?

I just read from MANY sources the guy HAD been involved in Operation "Rolling Thunder" just before he was shot down; not that Americans care about this little outing, but apparently Rolling Thunder, which was launched by Lyndon Johnson in an attempt to break the will of the Vietnamese, was just about as murderous as anything else the U.S. had done over there.

The aim was to use sustained bombing to destroy the economy and infrastructure of North Vietnam, and, according to some sources, kill or maim large numbers of its citizens. From a 1991 publication titled ‘Setup’ by Earl H. Tilford: “The operation became the most intense air/ground battle waged during the Cold War period, indeed, it was the most difficult such campaign fought by the U.S. Air Force since the aerial bombardment of Nazi Germany during World War II. Thanks to the efforts of its allies, North Vietnam fielded a potent mixture of sophisticated air-to-air and ground-to-air weapons that created one of the most effective air defense environments ever faced by American military aviators. After one of the longest aerial campaigns ever conducted by any nation, Rolling Thunder was terminated as a strategic failure in late 1968 having achieved none of its objectives”.

Before his plane went down, McCain had spent about 20 hours in combat in the skies over Vietnam, dropping high explosives on the towns and people below during short flights from an American aircraft carrier parked in the South China Sea.


Before the war was over, US warplanes dropped close to eight million tons of explosives—four times the bombs dropped in all of World War II—on a country roughly the size of New Mexico. This, the most intense and sustained bombing campaign in history, devastated Vietnam’s cities and destroyed its industrial, transportation and communications infrastructure.

In a book, Vietnam: A History, written by a veteran journalist named Stanley Karnow, accounts were taken of the bombing from the pov of Vietnamese who'd witnessed it: “The bombing started at about eight o’clock in the morning and lasted for hours. When we first heard the explosions, we rushed into the tunnels but not everyone made it. When there was a pause in the attack, some of us climbed out to see what we could do, and the scene was terrifying. Bodies had been torn to pieces—limbs were hanging from trees and scattered around the ground. The bombing began again, this time with napalm, and the village went up in flames. The napalm hit me. I felt as if I was burning all over, like a piece of coal. I lost consciousness. Friends took me to the hospital, and my wounds didn’t begin to heal until six months later. Over 200 people died in the raid, including my mother, sister-in-law and three nephews. They were buried alive when the tunnel collapsed.”

This was a murderous campaign, and our ever-heroic McCain volunteered to be a part of it. But how many Americans give a shit about that, right?

(Hey, listen: if the "big hero" story is all about how McCain would not leave his fellow soldiers behind when he COULD have, NAZIS could and DID argue the same in WWII when their own did "acts of bravery in behalf of their comrades". It's all a matter of pov. ALL sides in a war make that argument to cite acts of heroism)

**I'm sad to say, I don't think the Democrats are going to win back the White House in this election. There are too many people who buy into the myths, too many illiterates out there who won't research, and FAR too many primitive bigots. THINK about what's going to happen after a primate like McCain is elected. PROJECT it in your minds. The only thing I see when I hit the return key is "China" and "Saudi Arabia", and a few rogue tidal waves from melted polar ice caps.

Other coutnries and The World As IWe Know It
DTS:

My rhetorical question as to "what stake do we have in whether.." was directly drawn from my earlier rhetorical question of "Why are we still in alliances such as NATO?", the "we" therein referring to "United States Of America" and not to individual sophonts of planet Earth, etc.

People have a stake in the future of the human race everywhere, as you argued is the case. People have a stake in the spread of peace, freedom, justice and liberty.

My argument is that governments ought to mind their own business. Government is a blunt intstrument at best, and is the natural enemy of liberty. Jefferson knew this when he wrote the Declaration of Independence, and it's as American as apple pie. It's one reason Frank is right about the anarchist attitude being very American. Americans don't trust government much, as a rule.

Being a Nanny to other countries is a road once taken that leads to Iraq and similar fiascoes. The best way to help the rest of the world achieve all those good things is to achieve them ourselves, be a Good Example and advocate for those good things, but let the How and Why of their achievement elsewhere be decided by those who have the most at stake: the people that live there.

If a nation asks for the help of the USA, we can have a debate on that situation, and come to a decision. But why are we tied up in these alliances that FORCE us to risk the lives of our people with no debate on the cases' merits?

So let me restate my question: What is the interest the people of the USA have in the territorial integrity of the former Soviet Republic of Georgia such that makes it worth risking nuclear war? That's what bringing them into NATO means. We will risk being killed to protect their right to exist as an independent nation. "WE" as in you, and you, and you and every other citizen of every other member of the alliance.

The Russians still have twenty-thousand nuclear weapons. We still have about ten-thousand. The missiles and bombers are still there, in large part, still ready to go.

Maybe you think it's not that stark a choice. Maybe I am wrong. Nobody in 1914 thought there would be a war between the Great Powers either. Go read "The Guns Of August" by Barbara Tuchman sometime, then pick up her "The March of Folly". Kennedy read the former, and later said the lessons in that book played a role in him staving off nuclear war in 1962 over Cuban missiles. Like most such lessons in common sense, it's easily forgotten, and ought be relearnt at regular intervals.

Does minding our own business as a nation really sound like such a bad idea?

By The Way: McCain has proven himself an Idiot. The choice of Palin is right up there with Tom Eagleton by McGovern in 1972. I have had a favorable view of McCain in a few ways for a few years, but this is just ludicrous. The man is an out and out Ultra Maroon. Palin is the future question to a Final Jeopardy answer.

At this point, even if BHO were as inexperienced and goofy as some claim, I would still hold my nose and vote for him.

I'm calling it: BHO takes 35 plus states, wins with about 350 Electoral Votes.

There's no "Swift Boat" on the horizon.

Stick a fork in McCain, he's done.

Since I am in a predictive mood: Tampa Bay in the World Series with the Cubs. Rays in six.

Hey, they're STILL the Cubs!

KOS

On Courage
Asked for the most courageous person I know, I was stymied. I have known people who stood up for what they believed. I have seen people weather underserved pain and indignities. But as I thought about those individuals, I knew that they didn’t necessarily see themselves as courageous. Instead, they did the things they did as a result of who they were – not from a sense of courageousness.

Which makes this all interesting. There are many descriptions we can bestow upon ourselves. We can describe ourselves as a leader, or humorous, or compassionate, or as a romantic, and we don’t think of that as too self-aggrandizing. But no one who is taken seriously will claim to be courageous. I like to think that, put to the test, I would be courageous. But I don’t think I’ve been put to such a test. For yourself - in that secret part of yourself you refuse to ever reveal - do you think of yourself as courageous? And for those we see as courageous (those we see as having succeeded when put through that test), I am sure they do not describe themselves as courageous. In fact, they may not even think they have yet been put to such a test.

A manager I worked with was put in a situation where he was forced to report his boss (a very close friend) to the executives of the company for violating state regulations. (The details would bore you.) He knew his friend would be fired immediately, and it was an extremely unpopular decision with many of his co-workers – also close friends with his boss. He had the courage to not only step forward with the allegations, but to first do the right thing and approach his friend, explaining the actions he would have to take. I overheard someone later complement him on his courage. He looked at the individual as though he was speaking a foreign language. It was a look that expressed his confusion that anyone would think what he did involved courage. He indicated it wasn’t courage; it was just what he had to do. He didn’t realize he had faced the test and passed it.

No one thinks they are courageous – they just do what they have to do.

Maybe that is courage – a combination of knowing the right thing to do and then going ahead and doing it. Think about that person you want to nominate as the most courageous person you know. Ask yourself if that person would describe him or herself as courageous. Or, was that person just doing the only thing they knew to do.

Mike

Larry Adler
If you want to hear Larry Adler bring warmth to the cockles of your heart, try and get hold of GENEVIEVE, a 1953 UK film starring Kenneth More. An uplifting example of the British spirit in action, and Mr Adler's harmonica contributes about 40% to that feeling.

Not a week went by without one of his letters appearing in the London Evening Standard newspaper. An 'honorary' Brit, much missed over here.

Cheers
Rob E.

I should probably apologize to John Ford for my snarky reply to his perfectly civil query, but since Erik Nelson has rushed in quickly and exchanged e.mails with Mr. Ford, thus taking care of business "boots on the ground," I will just skulk back in my crankiness and allow decent folks to tread on without my rancor.

Feh, on the lot of ya.

-he

Sundry Stuff
Bunch of unrelated items maybe of interest:

Mentioned for Dr. Watson in the Guy Ritchie Holmes film starring Robert Downey Jr. is Russell Crowe! Might be interesting. But how does Crowe feel about Downey basically ridiculing him in TROPIC THUNDER?

*************************************************************

Borrowing this from the blog of Moby, a musician (and liberal) -- he said to pass it around:

john mccain is on wife #2. he divorced his current wife after she had an accident.
he admits that he was cheating on wife #1 with wife #2 when wife #1 was in the hospital.

obama is on wife #1.

this disturbs me: john mccain called his wife a cunt. oops, to quote senator mccain, 'a cunt'. he lost his temper
in public and was recorded saying to his wife, 'at least i don't plaster on the makeup
like a trollop, you cunt.' this is the same wife who has bought him his homes and lets
him use her private planes.
(note, 'trollop' is ye olde english for 'whore').

people talk about obama's experience being similar to sarah palin.
well, obama was the head of the harvard law review, then he was a civil rights
lawyer and a community organizer in chicago, then he spent 7 years in the illinois
state senate. now he is currently serving his first term in d.c as a senator from illinois.

sarah palin was a runner up in the miss alaska beauty contest, a member of the pta, a member of the wallis chamber of commerce(pop. 5,000),
the mayor of wallis(pop. 5,000), and is currently in her first term as governor of alaska.

political discourse doesn't need to be rancorous(unless it's funny).
it does sort of drive me crazy when republicans spout un-truths in order to criticize
obama('he's a muslim and a socialist!'...again, he's neither).
if you disagree with someone's political philosophy, fine, then don't vote for them.
but spreading lies and mistruths doesn't end up serving anyone very well, especially
when the mistruths are so egregiously wrong.

mccain is more conservative, obama's more liberal. mccain is anti-choice, obama
is pro-choice. mccain has said that he could see u.s troops being in iraq for 100 years,
obama wants to bring them home sooner. mccain wants to make bush's tax cuts(which
primarily benefit the wealthy)permanent, and obama wants to cut taxes for the middle
class and the poor and raise taxes for the wealthy. mccain voted against legislation
that would help women earn equal pay, obama voted for legislation that would help
women earn equal pay. and so on.

***************************************************************

I'm enjoying the frenzy around Palin's 17-year-old daughter pregnant out of wedlock: White Trash White House.

**************************************************************

Finally: we know about Blood Diamonds, but how about Blood Chocolate? Apparently, children are being forced into slave labor (either by kidnapping or by their parents selling them into it) in Africa to work in cocoa fields. Nestle, Mars and Hershey all fought to stop legistlation that would regulate slave-labor chocolate.

Here is an article on it:

http://thehumanist.org/humanist/08_sept_oct/qureshi_essay.html

JOHN FORD:

That's what I am given to understand this moronic internet world was created to do: answer your question.

This far-less-than-obscure bit of information, more than enough to gladden your li'l pixie heart, can be found in a dozen or so different links; or simply by scrolling back day-after-day, right here. It's called, I believe, a FAQ in idiotspeak. If this were the Real World, and you wanted a piece of such easily accessible information, why, you'd just go to the Public Library, or pick up a phone and call a Real Person, such as I.

But look around, kiddo. Sloth induced by the internet is unbecoming in a man of your age and sagacity.

Charmingly, Harlan Ellison

P.S.
One more brave name, a man I knew, arrived a tad late in my brain:

Larry Adler

(and if the name means nothing to you, look him up. Virtuoso harmonica artist. Friend of Gershwin, Darius Milhaud, Paul Robeson, and on and on. Played concerts--harmonica!!!!--at Carnegie Hall, La Scala, with the London Symphony. Wrote half a dozen books of memoir that are, to this day, mesmerizing. He was blacklisted in the United States, lived out his last years in London, and was olympian witty, urbane, so cool he made, say, Cary Grant look like a schlub. If you have never heard one of his albums, I BEG you to hie thyself hence!

Brave man. Courageous. Fought back against the fucking HUAC blacklist. World famous wonderful man, died just a few years ago.

Harlan

DWST inquiry
Hi Unca Harlan,

I'd like to talk our local film bunch (Olympia Film Society) into screening Dreams - if they have the good sense to listen to me, who do they contact regarding booking??

and thanks... just 'cause.

John

THE MOST COURAGEOUS PERSON(S) I KNOW

SANDRA:

I have known a plethora of truly, inarguably, outstandingly brave and courageous people in my time. I have been incredibly blessed in that way; and as object lessons to me, from my youth, on a close PERSONAL, non-abstract (Lindbergh, i.g., Babe Ruth, Paul Revere, Harriet Beecher Stowe, et al) cultural-icon way.

All the ladies and gentlemen and children of color with whom I marched, for them in the face of certain death, Selma-to-Montgomrey...

Members of The Deacons who fought the KKK...

Leo & Diane Dillon...

Dave Stevens...

Christopher Knopf...

Tim and Andrea Richmond...

Cindy, from right here at Webderland...

But I had no trouble speaking The Appropriate Name, the instant I read your query. The most courageous person I know is

David Gerrold.

Respectfully, Harlan Ellison

Attention Webderlanders/Flying Blue Monkey's in the Puget Sound area: Safeway has Hydrox cookies!! $5 for two packages. I damn near cried when I saw the display. I grew up in a Hydrox home, so, I'm very happy that they are once again available. Hopefully, the taste will be the same.

David

The Internet Is For Porn
Harlan's various efforts to deal with internet piracy have proven yet again an essential part of making the 'net safe for porn. You may have heard about a recent decision in a lawsuit filed by IO Group, a distributor of porn films, against Veoh. Here's a good article that doesn't have an axe to grind:

http://prawfsblawg.blogs.com/prawfsblawg/2008/08/io-v-veoh-harmf.html

When I read the actual opinion, I had flashbacks to 2002, when I was writing the appellate briefs against AOL. Not only does the Veoh opinion cite Ellison v. AOL extensively, but the other main case that it relies on (CCBill — another porn case) is also founded on Ellison. That was certainly gratifying to this landlocked shark. The flashbacks, though, came from Magistrate Judge Lloyd's opinion... which is organized almost identically to that brief that John Carmichael, Bridget Connelly, and I created (an organization that the 9th Circuit did not, itself, adopt in its opinion).

Since Our Gracious Host is a fan of irony, I'll also point out that it's pretty obvious that Veoh had also read the brief... because it took several steps that we outlined as necessary in the brief, but were not covered in the 9th Circuit's opinion. And, thus, the "infringer" used our pro-copyright-holder opinion to turn back claims of infringement by a different copyright holder.

And for your viewing and listening pleasure, here's a celebration on YouTube that is complex enough to provide a truly wonderful question for a law school exam on copyright:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQNWyc1YfSM

HERC
Many thanks for the information Susan.
I'll definitely be joining HERC, although may need to wait for a month or so.

Cheers, Iain.

HARLAN - Just saw your post - I've been off the grid for the most part since Thursday night. Might even acquire a taste for it. It's quiet here.

Actually, Amazon has the wrong release date; I'll cop to paying it forward, but I went with the information I had. Mea culpa.

Instead of the $40, just drop a couple of bucks in postage on an envelope, tuck them inside, and send 'em back if you don't need 'em. I've got Ellison aficionados on this end who don't have one and Christmas is coming. Everyone wins.

AND stop masticating crow already. The chewing sound is really beginning to detract from my quality of life.


KEITH - If the ACND copies don't work, I'm expecting you to perform the film yourself, kabuki style, or perhaps with sock puppets. We'll find someone to accompany you on guitar. For legal reasons, you will need to call it "A Reasonably Artistic Interpretation of a Memory of a Film by Erik Nelson that I Saw and Wanted to Screen, But For Technology". You will also be serving all the food before-hand, just because.


ALL - This only affects a few of you, but Finder Doug is retired from active searching, beginning this morning. All extant lists are null and void and will be disposed of in the Big Blue Bin. I'll keep the moniker, kinda like an old painted sign for dry goods on the side of a building since repurposed, fading and harder to read with each season; but really, the whole enterprise has lost its zazz as a Fun Thing to Do and Make.

And now, back to off-the-grid-dom...

Paul,

Thanks for the shout out, I'm fine. Actually nowhere near Houston. Been away for a work conference and then a few days vacation up north so I'm missing all the (not) fun.

Cheers
Peg

What's at stake
KOS: I'm not a believer in the Truman Doctrine or the idea of covert ops (in order to install a "better" government in...pick a country) that Reagan and his gang championed so blatantly. But when you ask, "...what stake do we, the USA..." have in the future of other countries (small or large) around the world, I would have to say that the most obvious answer is a 100 percent stake. We certainly shouldn't invade nations, and we certainly shouldn't declare wars based on lies. Nor should we think that ours is the sole repsonibility for watching over the rest of the world. But we are _all_ citizens of the same planet; and to ignore everyone else and say their fates don't matter to us is not only unneighborly, it's short-sighted and miserly.

As long as you -- and others -- have the heart to wish for someone who can make a difference, effect a _real_ change, in our country and its future, then the same compassion and desire for better lives and a better future has to be extended to your fellow men and women. Those in other countries as well as our own. Otherwise, why bother?

What's at stake is the "soul" of mankind.

-DTS

Courageous
The most courageous person I've ever met was a friend named Nicole. Met her in the TV biz, eventually we worked on the same show. Sweetest, nicest person EVER. Every guy was in love with her. (I am still and was then happily crazily in love with my wife, so I will not include myself in that group, but will say she was pretty, intelligent and fun -- and I wanted to fix her up with all my friends.)
She left TV, found a guy, taught grade school (her dream job) and was ready to get married.
Then she got brain cancer.
Around the same time I got kidney cancer. (We did investigate our workplace since a few others there also got cancer, but lawyers told us about "cluster cancer" and that we wouldn't have a chance if we tried to sue.)

Now I moaned and whined and did the whole 'woe is me' stuff. But I had it easy. They cut it out. I didn't do chemo (my choice, even tho' it was Stage 3). Took me a few months to get over the pain of surgery, but I got back to work and I'm OK. Gotta take it easy on the one remaining kidney, but I'm just fine.

Nicole had it worse. The tumor in her brain was inoperable and paralyzed her right side. She walked with a cane and had trouble moving quickly. But she never bitched, never complained (Oh, just one time: she got a temporary job with CNN in 2001 in NYC when 9/11 happened. Trying to get down the stairs on her cane, some guy said "Get the fuck out of the way" and shoved her aside -- THAT pissed her off, nothing else, just the disrespect.)
She got radiation and it stopped the growth of the tumor. She still had to walk with the cane. Oh, and the fiance left her. But she got a job with friends at the Dr. Phil show and was a producer there for years. I'd see her, since we worked on the same lot, and she's always be cheerful and happy, wanted to hear all the news about all our old workmates.

Then the cancer came back and grew. The cane became a scooter. She showed it off to me as if it were a Maserati: Pleased as punch about it. Still smiling, still bouyant, still looking at the bright side.

It got worse. One day she fell out of bed paralyzed and lay there for three days. When friends found her and got help, all she'd talk about was how embarrassed she was that they found her in her underwear. Made a joke about it.

Last I saw her was still on the scooter but her speech was much slower -- a long time delay between answers. But still she soldiered on, went to work, did what she had to do.

Last month it got even worse and her parents finally had to take her into the hospital. She couldn't move at all.

She died a few weeks ago. Bravest soul I've encountered. I could never have handled it the way she did. With a smile and a laugh. That's courage.

Her parents were so overcome that they haven't had a public service for her. So this is my public service: I miss you, Nicole. We all do. We honor you and your courage.

Yeah, that's courage.

And when people try to tell me that everything happens for a reason, I will point to Nicole and say: So tell me WHY?

Peg, and everyone else in Gustav's path, take care, stay safe and check in when you can.

sfx
Harlan-sending you latest issue with long piece on Terminator with sidebar about you JZ

Who is the most courageous person you know?


shagin

(As usual, my apologies for bearing bad news.)

Ellison sues CBS
http://www.courthousenews.com/2008/08/29/Harlan_Ellison_Wants_Paramount_To_Beam_Up_Royalties_For_Star_Trek_.htm

No news from Mantova.

And two links mainly for HARLAN's attention, containing material of his that you may not want to see in this condition and that I doubt he gets compensated for.

Arthur 'n' Me from Sceptical Inquirer
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m2843/is_/ai_n27925989?tag=artBody;col1
Note the major syntax errors in the fourth paragraph, no photos, etc.

From same site a pay-for-access the HARPER excerpt from the CITY/FOREVER book
http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_hb4716/is_199705/ai_n17283082

Frank: Anarchy doesn't work. But you're in good company.

THE OBAMA NATION / Sarah Palin
Don't put too much weight on the bestseller status of THE OBAMA NATION. The right-wing smear machine was dedicated to making it a bestseller, and has bought so many copies in bulk -- later to be given away as premiums and gifts, or just put on shelves -- that it owes its bestseller status to something called "Institutional Sales." In fact, MANY of the right's most influential books had their standing as central to our national debate arranged by brute force, when the corporate masters of their thinking bought thousands of them. Institutional Sales. The better newspapers put an asterisk or a dart next to them, on the bestseller list, to document that they did not come by their status the way an honest book would.

Do you know that Sarah Palin faced a recall for abuse of power when mayor of Wasilla, Alaska? Think about it...

Election stuff
I wish I could share Frank Church's optimism that the pick of Palin is the final nail in the McCain coffin--but then I remember how well the "swift boating" of Kerry worked, against all logic and evidence. I note that "The Obama Nation," a book filled with easily refuted lies about about the Democratic candidate, has been atop the bestseller list for weeks. I watch in wonder the number of embittered Hillary supporters apparently now willing to vote against their own best interests out of nothing but anger. I look at the polls and wonder where the huge advantage Obama should easily have actually is. I think about the 2+ months the Republicans still have to mount their barrage of character attacks, and the possibility of even dirtier tricks like rigged machines and Florida 2000.

And most of all I remember the words of our host--"The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogyn and stupidity."

I think there are few more dangerous things we could do right now than to assume the Republicans are done. There are clearly a lot of people out there who are still stupid enough to vote for McCain. The fight is far from over.

Jan, are you new? Anarchism is about as American as toilet paper.

Bud Powell, what took you so long to tell us all that anarchy pulls your forelocks? Man, I need all the help with these mooks I can get.

Anarchy is freedom. Either you are for or against.

-------------

I would sincerely love to thank John Sidney McCain for making this race easier then it would have been had you have picked someone like Mitt Romney or Huckabee. You could have won the whitehouse, made sure that whites kept the niggers off the lawn and you could have used them for their only useful place--as caddies for golf games or as baby sitters for your squaling brats.

Sarah Palin is a hoot. Thank you ever so much. Biden will chew her into Moose taco meat and send her back to the tundra of obscurity she so rightly deserves.

Thanks once again, war hero.

See how cool I am, I don't even make a tranny joke. I love Eddie Izzard, so's I canna demean the meaning.

Michael Mayhew~ I second that Man On A Wire viewing. We get that sort of stuff here, and it's verry good. Chills, baby.

Sandra~ Check your local listings for

http://harlanellison.com/heboard/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1797&highlight=

That may help just a bit. All the rest is help from the gifted. As far as I can tell from my Imac, I'm screwed. Good luck.

Yr. ineffectual illiterate,
P.

Man on Wire

I just got back from a screening of Man on Wire, a documentary about tightrope "dancer" and real-life Harlequin, Philippe Petit.

Do yourself a favor and catch this one. Trust me. Just go.

MM

McBush's new running mate
I'm just waiting for "NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITION!" to become part of their official campaign platform.

I sort of qualify as an anarchist as well, though there are elements of the libertarian and socialist/green philosophy as well. I don't feel any society or government ought to be entirely based on any of the three (particularly the first, by definition), and I favor chewing any and all ideologies 100 times prior to swallowing.

Okay, let's try that again.

I watched part of a PBS program on the American (yay!) Hot Dog. This toured many a hot dog joint across the US, including PINK'S, although alas no mention of our patron author and Prince Myshkin. There was also a mention of LAW'S HOT DOGS, a place where you could get yourself a frankfurter and on Wednesdays, free legal advice from a community-minded lawyer.

Only in Ellay?

Chuck

On a lighter note, I watched part of a PBS

Many apologies for a frustrated second post...
...but is there any information in the forums about the IHNMAIMS game? If so, where? This befuddled cyber-baby needs help. My eyes are crossing and the forums have become a blur. I have the game, and would love to play it, but apparently VISTA doesn't like the game and I'm desperate for any help to bridge the programing gap.

Thanks in advance,
S.

I'm speechless with disbelief from KOS's post, but I can't leave it entirely without comment. This was it.

And Frank, are you seriously an anarchist? Speechless again.

I think we're really hitting rock bottom today.

Dreams With Sharp Teeth screening in Arlington, VA
It is a done deal.

What? Dreams with Sharp Teeth screening

When? October 5th, 2008, Sunday, 6:00 P.M. EST to 9:00 P.M. EST

Where? Arlington Cinema 'N Drafthouse

Tickets? $7.00 at the door

Age? You must be 21 (drinking age) or escorted by a guardian to get in. (plus, you know, Harlan has been known to use blue language from time to time).

The movie will be open to the general public, and the theater holds 285 guests (I had previously said 295, but that includes staff).

I'm thinking about starting the movie at 7 P.M. This will give everyone who wants to eat and drink to get in, get situated, get their orders placed, and chat a bit before the movie starts. I don't want to make anyone feel obligated or anything, but I basically committed to $1,500.00 in food and beverage sales. If people don't buy that much, I'm liable for the difference. And no, I don't get any money if they sell more than that. So please, if you come, come hungry and thirsty.

The Drafthouse is going to allow us to advertise the movie on their website: I just need a graphic and a paragraph of what the movie is about. I mentioned the website www.dreamswithsharpteeth.com, and it will be referenced in the ad, but they are looking for something else. I will be working on that in the coming week.

I'm thinking about having a door prize, maybe get a local bookstore to come out and sell some of Harlan's current books, etc. I am open to other suggestions.

I'm rather enjoying this; it's a lot more fun than my day job.

-Keith

NB: While the Drafthouse has received 2 copies of DWST, they have not yet tested them. THE ONLY REASON this will be cancelled at this point, is if the movie does not work with their equipment, or by an act of nature. So at this point, I think it is okay to start notifying your friends, neighbors, and countrymen. Bless you all, and bless Erik Nelson, for making such a swell movie.

Harlan: "In fact, America -- in one venue or another -- has elected to office MANY MORE "movie stars" than just two. Apart from our current California Governor, and Reagan, and the wrestler from Wisconsin, and the guy from The Love Boat, and Helen Gahagan (Douglas), do not forget that the guy who mentored Reagan was the enormously-popular actor-hoofer George Murphy, US Senator from California. I'm sure others out there can extend the list even more bloviatingly."

Well, I was referring specifically to Presidential candidates, and the "movie star twice" referred to Reagan, but you of course are correcct. I would have especially enjoyed voting for She Who Must Be Obeyed, myself.

As you may have all heard, the TV ratings for Obama's acceptance speech were record-breakers, 60 percent higher than Kerry's in 2004 and beating the numbers for the Beijing Opening Ceremonies and (I think I heard) American Idol. What this means for voter turnout on November 4 is anyone's guess, but it certainly kicks the shit out of the "celebrity" meme.

Caves and Criminals
I don't care whether Afghanistan is ever a freedom loving liberal democracy. Ditto for Iraq. Spades for the former Soviet republic od Georgia.

It's not my job. It's not our job. It's their job.

I do want that murderer living in a cave or hut on the Pakistan/Afghan border brought to justice. I don't much care if it is by a policeman or a soldier. Makes no difference to me. I just take the murder of three thousand or so of my countrymen rather personally. That the Taliban were beastly to women is a tragedy, but that we did not stop them is no reason to give them a pass for providing that cave dweller with the beard many of the tools he needed to kill those Americans that died on 9-11. The Talivan made the choice to fuck with us,so now they are fucked.

Fuck jingoiism, this is payback. If it were your family, would you care? My country is as dear to me as my family, and I don't apologize for that one bit.

"America does not go abroad in search of monsters to destroy. She is the well-wisher to freedom and independence of all. She is the champion and vindicator only of her own." -John Adams, Second President of the United States.

Protecting out own people and their freedom is what I want my country to do first. Once that is done, you can argue about the rest. I'm not an anarchist, so I don't mind government doing that dirty job.

But why the fuck are we still a member of all these alliances like NATO? What stake do we, the USA, REALLY have in whether some province of The Former Soviet Republic of East ButtFuck is under the thumb of this or that oligrachy or even liberal democracy?

The virtue of minding ones own business, from the personal to the governmental levels, is vastly under-rated.

At the same time, if we mind our own business and they STILL fuck with us: vindicate the hell out of the bastards, build a monument over the ruins with a plaque reading "Don't Tread On Me!" at the top of the rubble heap and then get the hell out of there.

That would be a truly "conservative" foreign policy.

You won't get it from anyone who has a chance of winning high office, but it's the ideal I aspire to.

Elections-

Frank is right: Obama is not a savior, he is not perfect, he is not going to change the world. He could make a huge difference. One hopes for the better. Change is not always reform. Let's hope he gets the vector of change right.

I'd like to see. Life offers few opportunities for grand gestures, but this is one of them for all of us. Right up there with the Big Ones like 1776 and 1865.

Wow. History. It's a bitch.

KOS

Shagin, I am an Anarchist, believe you me, there are many things that Obama stands for that put me on edge, that make me want to grab the hose, but he is right on enough issues to put me at semi-ease. Three issues alone make me an easy Obama maniac: The Supreme Court, a more democratic FCC, changes in health care. Obama also may zen the country out in a positive fashion and his manner of easy resolve will calm world leaders. McCain will tell the head of Russia to "kiss his wrinkled, white ass," and you will have bombs falling like greeting cards.

Obama is not only a no-brainer, he is our only hope.

------------

Watch last night's Olbermann if you can. Michael Moore said something really stupid.

MARK - Will do. I try to stay away from candidate websites for fear of being smeared with icky, but I'll peek at Obama's. Hand me a moist towelette...

***

SHANE - Yeah, but are you going to be stuffed with more than wild blueberry muffins when I crack you open?

***

DENNIS C. - Amen about McCain's latest politicizing! I took issue with her views on creationism in schools. Then again, when I first heard her thoughts about abortion, my utuerus started packing whether I was ready to skip country or not.



shagin

Palin
I guess McCain figures one woman = another -- so if he picks any woman, even one who's been a governor for a year and a half (not "two years of executive experience" as his people have been saying), then all women will vote for her.

Just remember, she's anti-choice, pro-NRA, and this from Newsweek:

"She is a far-right conservative who supported Pat Buchanan over George W. Bush in 2000. She thinks global warming is a hoax and backs the teaching of creationism in public schools."

So if you questions Obama's policies at all, take a look at hers and McCain's for real, not just what the spinmeisters say.

This Hail Mary pass could work -- I wouldn't put it past the Rovians to have it all figured out.

But please check out the facts, don't just go an appearances...

Sha-gin, Sha-gin, Ya-da-da Da-da-da Da-da-da Da
"So...what does Shane post? The link to "Dreams..." showing in Vancouver, BC. Remind me to thank you personally, Shane...with a big stick...."

It warms the cockles of my heart to know that I have provided a service to another Webderlander, not to mention the exciting prospect that I'll have the opportunity to work on my piñata impersonation!

Sandra, I would suggest visiting Obama's website to obtain more specific information on his policies. He has actually done a better job of spelling out what he intends to accomplish should he be elected than most politicians. Look at his website as compared to McCain's and you will see a massive difference.

Adam-Troy, while I enjoyed the Karl Rove quote a great deal, I still am recovering from reading the posting to which you linked yesterday from one of Corsi's co-authors. For those of you who were smarter than I and did not read it, let me assure you it was one of the most vile pieces of racist garbage I have seen in some time. How on earth are these wanna-be Klansmen treated as legitimate authors by parts of the mainstream media?

Whoops
Karl Rove, back when he thought Tim Kaine would be Obama's VP pick.




"With all due respect again to Governor Kaine, he’s been a governor for three years, he’s been able but undistinguished. I don’t think people could really name a big, important thing that he’s done. He was mayor of the 105th largest city in America. And again, with all due respect to Richmond, Virginia, it’s smaller than Chula Vista, California; Aurora, Colorado; Mesa or Gilbert, Arizona; north Las Vegas or Henderson, Nevada. It’s not a big town. So if he were to pick Governor Kaine, it would be an intensely political choice where he said, `You know what? I’m really not, first and foremost, concerned with, is this person capable of being president of the United States? "



Whoops.

Hubby and I are in Seattle trying to recoup what we can of our sanity and shed a few dozen pounds of stress. LA was a wash out, and we decided not to try for Vancouver, BC, because we didn't want to face holiday traffic. So...what does Shane post? The link to "Dreams..." showing in Vancouver, BC. Remind me to thank you personally, Shane...with a big stick....

This evening we took the Underworld Seattle tour, which is akin to the Underground Seattle tour but with a focus on the seedier side of the early city and the "colorful" characters that made it what it is today. It was an interesting, if somewhat hurried, walk about.

We stopped at Magic Mouse Toys this afternoon where a gleefully silly gaggle of employees was having fun with a spring-loaded monkey, launching it through the air with monkey-chattering glee and their own "Heads up! Flying monkey!" I commented what a perfect gift that would be for Harlan if only the monkey was blue. A near-by clerk assured me they had ones with blue capes and masks. Tempting, very tempting...

Tomorrow we may stay in the hotel room and engage in a glorious bout of absolutely nothing, or we may head out to Wild Waves. I haven't managed to truly relax, but hubby has commented that he's caught me smiling a time or two. That's good to hear.

As for Obama, I want to believe in him, I really do, but so far I'm not hearing much in the way of substance under all that fluff. I've checked out the League of Women Voters website looking for meaningful info on policy ideas. Any other suggestions out there?

And Afghanistan? Where the fuck was US policy when the Taliban was doing their best to make having two X chromosomes a crime? Sorry, the fervor over possibly sending more troops to track down Bin Laden and friends in Afghanistan leaves me more than a little cold.


shagin

No, Josh, you have it exactly backward.

Harlan's tranny _slips_, which makes it _wear_ down.

Southern California Hydrox Cookie Report

In my quest to find Hydrox cookies locally (a food which I am hunting entirely out of curiosity as I don't know what they taste like), I have taken two steps.

1) Spoke with the bread guy at my local fancy-pants Albertsons grocery store. The guy was new to my store, said that he'd seen a single package at his previous job, an Albertsons in Santee. Said the Kelloggs rep was due that afternoon and he'd urge the guy to get the cookies in the store. Said it'd take about a week. I'll be checking next Wednsday.

2) Wrote an email of inquiry to the publicity agency which is handling the whole 100th anniversary of Hydrox campaign. I shall quote the response in it's entirety, but apparently the place to look is Wal-Mart (a yucky store I usually avoid, but my curiosity is great). I'll give them a call tomorrow and see what is what.

Full letter below.

MM

Mr. Mayhew,

How thoughtful of you to take the time to let us know your opinion about Sunshine® Hydrox® cookies. We are always pleased to hear positive comments from our consumers. Thank you!

In honor of the 100th anniversary of Hydrox® cookies and in response to consumer demand for their favorite crème filled chocolate sandwich cookie, Hydrox® cookies, now with zero grams trans fats, are back in stores for a limited time. Watch for primarily in Wal-Mart stores.

We appreciate your interest in our company and products.


Sincerely,


Pablo A. Martinez
Consumer Affairs Department

Harlan,

Your tranny wears slips?

fc -- That's 'Former Governor "The Body"' to you, pal.

Smackdown!
MW

Uh...

"me" not "mi"

"therein" not "therin"

or even "Theremin"

and certainly not "Thera-Flu."

--Seymour Dolt IV, the Third

RYAN, mi muchacho, mi corazon:

Fear not. I am not as stupid as I look, despite all genetic markers to the contrary.

1) Most sausages, franks and brats are between 40-60% filler and fat. Brats Brothers' are hand-made, no fillers, no MSG, no artificial colors and, according to the owner (a very nice man) the brats are usually 12% fat.

2) Even that, were I to eat two a day, or three, or even one, ferHeavenSake, would be to dice with death. So...

3) This has become my one Guilty Pleasure and if I keep dropping weight beyond the 14 lbs. so far, in a relatively short time, by being VERY strict with myself, I "treat" myself to a BrosBrat. But (and please don't tell the nice man this) his excellent French Roll buns are simply too carb-heavy and intrusive for me. So, we have a supermarket package of crappy hot dog buns, and we bring the brat home, slightly steam the crappy bun, put the good hot brat therin, and I masticate with full awareness of just how far I am prepared to allow my addictions to good food seduce me.

So. No fears. My chest thanks you.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

Brats Brothers


Harlan-

Was in the mood for something different a few days ago and took your advice on Brats Brothers. You were dead-on about the Austrian. I tried the Bavarian, too, but it was too fatty. I was surprised that the Austrian was so lean. I think I might try to make it through everything on the menu.

I've got to wonder, though, if this is the sort of food one should be eating if their chest cavity has been recently renovated.

Why, no, I'm not a pain-in-the-ass, but I do play one on TV.

--
Ryan

Dear Iain:

In response to your questions:

HERC membership is the same for one and all. $15.00 for 6 issues.

The main books are listed on the site but we do have a few not listed. They include:

THE GLASS TEAT. Paperback. Mint. First Edition. $50.00

THE GLASS TEAT. Paperback. Not a first, but it's too hot to hike upstairs to look at the publisher. Mint. $20.00.

APPROACHING OBLIVION. Hardcover. First. Mint $100.00

WEB OF THE CITY, GENTLEMAN JUNKIE, STRANGE WINE, ELLISON WONDERLAND. Paperbacks. $20.00 each.

Shipping. 1-3 books $4.00. 4 or more $6.00.

Checks are always better, but if you are comfortable with the idea, you can send cash. You can even convert to English pounds and send that. We can always use English monies. If you do send cash. Pick a way to track it.

Checks payable to: THE KILIMANJARO CORPORATION.

Hope you join HERC. Talk to Barney, he's a lifer.

All best--Susan

So. For my sins, I've worked for a large portion of the last decade on videogames magazines. Hey, we've all got to make a living, right?
For what it's worth, I reviewed a game in 1998 called The Legend of Zelda: The Ocarina of Time. For those of you that know and care about these things, you'll be well aware that it is a simply imperial fantasy adventure, and one of the few games that is worth anyone's time. Well, that review (14 pages!) has somehow garnered much affection and I, to this day, still get emails about it, which is gratifying but nonetheless mystifying. I appreciate the approbation, but it was written by a young man I now find hard to relate to.
All of which is by the by, but the point hoves into view: a couple of weeks ago, a young gentlemen who keenly wants to break into the games industry, and who keeps a largely well-written blog, wanted to interview me, citing me as the reason he wanted to write about videogames. I obliged, of course, although there are a thousand better, and probably more lucrative, things he could do with his time, but anyway: one of the questions he asked me was who my influences are. And of course I mentioned Harlan, and in particular Deathbird Stories, which I picked up as a teen, and which irrevocably changed my brain, as I am sure it did so many of you.
I received an email from said young man the other day, saying he has got his first freelance gig writing for a games mag, which he attributes to the 'weight' (ha!) my interview lent to his blog.
That's terrific, and I'm very pleased for him, if it helps him break into an arena he wants to work in.
But.
He also said this:
"Oh, and I've just started reading Deathbird Stories. Love it."
Ain't that *great*?
Jes

The Obama Card
Harlan,

In some cases the things being said about Obama aren't even bothering to hide their true motivation.

The following links to a column by Craig R. Smith, past collaborator to scumbag author Jerome Corsi ("The Obama Nation"). He watched Obama's speech, and wrote this ...thing...which comes within spitting distance of calling Obama a pimp daddy.

http://www.worldnetdaily.com/index.php?fa=PAGE.view&pageId=73276

He thinks Obama's everyday speech is saturated with hip-hop slang. Really. That's what he hears.

Jessie Ventura--Minnesota.

McCain toast.

Biden/Palin
Saturday Night Live.Title on screen:the Biden/Palin debate.Cut to close up of Joe Biden,"Good Evening." Cut to close up of Michael Palin,"I'm here for an argument..." Happy Labor Day to one and all.JZ

JohnE:

In fact, America -- in one venue or another -- has elected to office MANY MORE "movie stars" than just two. Apart from our current California Governor, and Reagan, and the wrestler from Wisconsin, and the guy from The Love Boat, and Helen Gahagan (Douglas), do not forget that the guy who mentored Reagan was the enormously-popular actor-hoofer George Murphy, US Senator from California. I'm sure others out there can extend the list even more bloviatingly.

But you are right: this is as bullshit a bit of whole-cloth opprobrium as sighing aghast that Obama shouldn't be President because he's "too fit" or that "he reads in bed instead of watching Leno." These are term papers from flunking students in The Carl Rove Academy of Hateful Moronic Slurs, general category of "Throw any gobbet of stickable offal you can dream up even in a fever, and see if the wall can take it."

Anyone even a scintilla of leanage toward one of these is already too decayed-rind stupid AND ignorant AND biased AND racist AND anthracite-thick ever to be reached by logic, reason, special pleading, or just mature human decency.

As one with those in Denver last night, I hope beyond hope that the Time of the Monsters is at an end. Anyone who has not already made his/her choice between Dark and Light, simply is not paying attention, even to him/herself's best interests.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

BARNEY:

Gahdammit, kiddo, you are my friend, but that snarky tone of umbrage toward Mike is just not cool. Stop throwing your nose out of joint every time your pathology perceives an affront!

Sometimes, right or wrong, perceived or delusion, it is just gracious to shut the fuck up. It's taken me 74 years to cultivate obmutescence, and I'm still working on it. Go thee, pal, and do likewise.

Dead serious, Yr. Pal, Harlan

And now for something completely different
I am informed by a novelist friend that there is a disease wherein you get this itch, and you cannot stop scratching. If you get it on your scalp, you can scratch right through skin and bone into your brain without the itch stopping. He claims this is true because people have done it.

I've known people who made me want to do this.

How good is Hollywood? Better than you would believe: In "ED TV" the protagonist "Ed", played by Matthew McConaughey, is a single schlub going nowhere who suddenly is on national TV for no good reason except he's a single schlub who got lucky.

I'm watching it as a single schlub who got on TV simply because he was lucky (OK, I was on Jeopardy three times. Still, it WAS TV, and I was FAMOUS for five minutes. I still have ten minutes in my Warhol Account.)

Still with me? Okay, so in an early scene of "EDTV", they show Ed's schlubby bedroom, and in one corner of that schlubby bedroom sits a chocolate brown wickerwork laundry hamper with a matching chocolate brown vinyl padded lid/seat. I own that Very Same Chocolate Brown With Matching Padded Vinyl Lid Seat Laundry Hamper...

We are deep into One Step Beyond territory here (and I still love that great theme song from that show which maybe three people here will know what I am talking about but for them what knows, it was great.)

Yes, Hollywood even knows what schlubs put their nasty funky shorts into.

That's good. Scary good.

There is now a Bat Hospital in Southern England.

In Geneva there is a man who sits everyday in a cafe on a certain street, from noon to four. If you walk up to him, lean over and whisper the right thing, he will wire ten million Swiss francs into the account of your choice within twenty four hours. If he does not like what you tell him, you will have a fatal accident within twenty-four hours.

He does not lack for company.

It's a strange world. The Fermi Paradox indicates it may be the only world.

KOS

To Mr. Dannelke, Sir
Your misreading of my game-show styling of the post is something over which I have no control; I simply quote the distinguishjed Senator from Allen's Alley: "That's a joke,son!"At no point did I intend to impugn your intelligence, and if you somehow believe that I did, I apologize. As to my wording of the Question: The first part (where the 'is' is) was correct; my error was perhaps in the second part, I should not have used the word 'job' but instead 'position' to make clear that I was referring to the presidntial succession. To get to be Pres-Pro-Tem you have to be the senior Senator of the majority party; just getting elected isn't the whole answer.I geuss I didn't make that clear enough, and for that I again apologize. My point was that most people in this country aren't really aware of this whole succession business - even the really bright ones. If I'd known I was going to set off this kind of hostility I wouldn't have brought the whole thing up in the first place. I really enjoy coming to this Pavilion and the last thing I want is to be thought of as some snotty know-it-all. Again, Mr. Dannelke, my apologies.

ROB: I printed out your queries re MEMOSviaHitchcock, and will reply when I am up to it. Never fear. Be patient.

KOS: Muchas gracias. The first one wasn't there again today, but we'll be picking up mail from the PO Box after the holiday, and we'll get back in touch. I'll tear up the first check, yes, as you request; but I'll mail the pieces back to you. Punctiliousness in these picayune matters ALWAYS pays off. Chance favors the prepared mind.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

A SMALL HELLO TO KEVIN WALL

Each time the anomie of the internet, per se, and the (very very rare) moments when this place itself wearies me ...

... and I feel as if I ought to call my pal Rick, our long-suffering-for-NO-recompense Webmaster ...

... particularly when one or the other of us is teeth-jarringly riding down a corduroy road (you can look it up) in life ...

... someone will pop in, unexpectedly, sans foofaraw, and will get off on such a Good Foot with a small genuine kindness ...

... that it brings a well-needed moment of bonhomie and affection for all humanity to me, and I shrug and say to myself, "Well, okay; perhaps we need not turn it all over to the cockroaches just yet."

Obama's speech last night, and Kevin Wall's nice act of referral, while continents apart in subject matter or importance to the commonweal, are carbons of each other in producing (in me, at least) a good light of lamp for the value of our species.

In short, Mr. Wall, welcome to the co-op. Thank David for me, when next you speak to him, if you would.

Yr. new Pal, Harlan

AYE--MEN !!!!!!!!

From Barney Dannelke's lips to the ear of Whoever's In Charge.

-he

Frank Church:

"Obama had a masterful speech, but the hollywood glitz of it may in fact turn off voters who do see Obama as a celebrity--rightly so. He is one, if we want to deny it or not."

This is a totally made-up, never-before-heard-of, nary-a-peep-about issue. "Voters are turned off by Obama's celebrity"? Evidence, please -- and I will need more than RNC talking points or talking head punditisms.

I'm not directing this at Frank per se, unless he feels like addressing it, but I have voted in 7 presidential elections in my lifetime and I have never heard of anything remotely like "voters dislike 'celebrity' candidates". Turned off by Hollywood glitz? Since the fuck when? What was Kennedy and all the Camelot crap? How about the two times America elected an honest-to-god celebrity movie star? Yes, we Amurricans prefer our candidates to be low-key, humble, and utterly non-glamorous. What the fuck.

Turning Obama's personality and ability to inspire into a negative is what the Conservative ratfuckers do -- it's why John Kerry was bowled over when his one surefire, non-reproachable asset, that of being an honest to god war hero, was turned into his biggest liability. This 'celebrity' crap is more of the same old shit.

Happy Holiday everyone!

LORI KOONCE:

David Silver is near you, as you likely know, in the Bay Area. We had occasion to speak a couple of months ago when he sent me a totally unexpected--lovely--gift. If I were not up to my gunwales in work, and down to my plimsoll line in exhaustion, I'd go upstairs and root through the stacks for his address and phone number but...to be candid, sweetie...that ain't gonna happen. So if anyone else here can accomodate Lori, or if David is auditing this space...

Sorry, Lori. But otherwise, Yr. Pal, Harlan

When I wrote the word "tranny," I knew, I just KNEW there would be at least ONE drainpipe out there who'd rather snigger it into comment as "transvestite" rather than (as noted) Vinnie's girl friend's understanding as the automotive shorthand for "transmission." But I figured, well, maybe the UltraMaroom who would batten on this will be put off by the ease of such a shot, will find it beneath even HIS or HER simian simulacrum of wit, and let it pass ... especially since "my tranny...S*L*I*P*S" was the phrase.

And I'm delighted to be renewed in my awe of the best of the Human Condition, in that not one of you, like a particularly low form of crawling fungi, seizd on such a cheap pop-gun shot.

Good for you. Good for all of you. ALL of you.

Not a shriveled fig in the bin.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

FINDERDOUG:

Yeah, it arrived yesterday. You have the wrong release date. We already had two copies, but we'll send you the forty bucks, anyhow, just because you so cuddlesome. You oughtta let me see that list sometime; chances are, I've garnered bits'n'orts through the years since you compiled it, but just never got around to coordinating with you. My bad. But we'll send you the fuckin' forty clams anyhow, y'hairball.

I know, I know; I'm still masticating crow for having blown you off when you were out here.

As for the DOCTOR STRANGE & MR NORRELL (or whatever that millstone was called), fergit it, son. The day will come sooner than later when I get around to doing my review in full...the one the LA TIMES screamed and ran from.

But we'll send you your forty pounds of flesh, anyhow. Don't give it another thought.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

What the meaning of "is" is.
Hey Mike,

Thanks for your condescending tone but if you learn to ask a more exacting question I'll bother to give you a better answer.

I knew everything about Thurmond, the former canker sore that arose to Senator and his FORMER potentiality to sit in the Oval Office. I got more books on American history and race relations than most people have books.

BUT the operative word in your question was IS, not "was" or "could have been awhile back" or any other god damned thing. DO NOT tell me I only answered half your question. Learn to ask the right question before telling me I'm not bright enough to answer it.

And by the way, for anyone who may have misread me yesterday (based on one private e-mail), I like Senator Byrd. He was a fucked up racist in the 1940's but I think he genuinely walked away from it by the time the 1960's rolled around and he's one of the few folks left in the Senate who actually says what he thinks and feels and demonstrates a lot of spine considering how little calcium he probably has left - so he's OK by me.

Unlike you Mike.

- Barney Dannelke

Halfmyass, PA.

Answer To The Fun Civics Quiz!
Well, Barney Dannelke, I'm afraid you only got half of the question right. The 3rd in line for the Presidency after House Speaker Pelosi is indeed Sen. Robert Byrd (D-WV), the President Pro-Tem of the Senate by virtue of being the senior Senator of the majority party: that happened when the Dems gained control of the Senate in '06. While the Repubs had control, the PPT was their senior Senator, Ted Stevens of Alaska. And he got the post when the Republican senior to him retired - Strom Thurmond. Think about that - all that was between Thurmond and the White House for most of Clinton's presidency were Al Gore and Newt Gingrich - and I doubt that most of the media even knew that. When Sen. Stevens's scandal broke, the only national newsie who mentioned his erstwhile proximity to the presidency was Katie Couric (OK, it was probably her writer, but sitll...) Anyway, Barney, enjoy your Rice-A-Roni and Turtle Wax,and thanks for playing! THIS JUST IN... McCain picks a hard-right governor that nobody's ever heard of as VP... and I'm STILL worried about the Electoral College, where it seems the only law is Murphy's.

Obama's speech
Frank Church wrote, "Great speech except for his idiotic idea about sending more troops into afghanistan. Illegal invasions are illegal invasions, no matter how noble we feel about that one. We should go after Bin Laden the way we went after the Mob--police procedures, mixed with military intelligence, but no dropping bombs or soldiers taking over cities."

I've got to disagree with Frank about Afghanistan. We warned the world of what would happen to countries that tried to shelter Al Queda. The Taliban called us on it and reaped the whirlwind. Simply: They had it coming. That's one thing that I can't fault "W" for.

Vancouver Heats Up As "Dreams . . ." Arrives


Labour of love brings Ellison to screen
Katherine Monk, Canwest News Service
Published: Friday, August 29, 2008
http://www.canada.com/vancouversun/news/arts/story.html?id=6511ecd1-b9e9-4ff7-8441-bdea0f3550e6

Review: Dreams With Sharp Teeth chews through taboo
Katherine Monk, Canwest News Service
Published: Thursday, August 28, 2008
http://www.canada.com/vancouversun/news/story.html?id=7ad6a13e-8f2a-40e5-97de-d36d0a536e63

Movie listings
Vancouver Sun
Published: Thursday, August 28, 2008
- OPENING FRIDAY
PACIFIC CINEMATHEQUE 1131 HOWE ST. INFO: www.cinematheque.bc.ca or 604-688-FILM. » DREAMS WITH SHARP TEETH: A FILM ABOUT HARLAN ELLISON: Erik Nelson's acclaimed documentary on the legendary, larger-than-life science fiction writer (Star Trek's The City on the Edge of Forever) and notorious potty-mouthed ladies man, Harlan Ellison. Features interviews with Robin Williams, Neil Gaiman, Ronald D. Moore, Tom Snyderand Carol Cooper. Director Erik Nelson in person, on opening night. Aug 29 - Sept. 1, 7:30pm, 9:25pm. »
http://www.canada.com/vancouversun/news/westcoastlife/story.html?id=15c96243-1fd1-45dd-a84e-2556341eb24f

My, but Eric will be busy, won't he?

A query for Dennis C
Why would anyone cry over such fatuous fare as ET or TITANIC?

This was said by John McCain:

"When the temple comes down, the fireworks end and the words are over, the facts remain: Sen. Obama still has no record of bipartisanship, still opposes offshore drilling, still voted to raise taxes on those making just $42,000 per year and still voted against funds for American troops in harm's way.

"The fact remains: Barack Obama is still not ready to be president"

Bring it on war hero.

-----------

Obama had a masterful speech, but the hollywood glitz of it may in fact turn off voters who do see Obama as a celebrity--rightly so. He is one, if we want to deny it or not.

That's the main problem with politics--these are public servants, not stars--I just wish the public had more sense. I do blame the public, not Obama.

Great speech except for his idiotic idea about sending more troops into afghanistan. Illegal invasions are illegal invasions, no matter how noble we feel about that one. We should go after Bin Laden the way we went after the Mob--police procedures, mixed with military intelligence, but no dropping bombs or soldiers taking over cities.

Best line:

"McCain says he wants to hunt Bin Laden to the far end of hell, but he didn't even bother to go get him in his cave."

You know, white devil, cave people? Reverend Wright redux.

haha.

He may win afterall.

-----------

The internet is a godsend. The speech can be replayed online until the election. Obama should just sit the rest of it out.

Kidding.

---------------

No guys, Harlan only wears ladies clothes in front of Susan. He prefers the costume from Gigi. He likes to peel off those long white gloves and Susan...

Runs away.

KOS,

I am glad to hear that you are leaning for Obama, but the bounce you said the Democrats did not received has already been in evidence. Polls on Wednesday showed Obama with a 6 point lead, and that was before the speeches from Biden and Bill Clinton. After last night's speech, I would expect those numbers to increase.

For those of you who have not seen Obama's speech, whether you are a Democrat or a Republican, I would urge you to watch it. Obama took a huge chance accepting the nomination in a large outdoor stadium, as political speeches often do not translate well in that environment. Yet the crowd was several orders of magnitude beyond electric throughout his speech.

And what a speech it was. He combined inspirational passages with specific policy decisions in a way I have never heard before from a politician. Obama addressed every one of the attacks against him, defused them, and never sank into the gutter out of which Karl Rove crawled.

Put simply, that is the speech that may very well end any doubt on the Presidential campaign. I cannot imagine any Republican watching it and having a reaction other than, "We're screwed"

Mark

The Speech
I'm not an emotional guy. I remained stone-faced through E.T.: THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL and TITANIC. I don't cry at weddings or funerals.

I wept like a baby throughout Obama's speech. Yes, because I agree with a lot of his policies.
But also because I damn well think it would be incredibly healing for this country to elect a black man to the office of President of the United States.
I live near L.A. and black friends of mine still get stopped in Beverly Hills for no reason. They get questioned by police if they're sitting in their cars checking their email.
My mother in Pennsylvania (who quit our local public swimming pool in the late 60's because they wouldn't allow blacks to join) says she hears racist comments about Obama all the time. She's 78 and she's been supporting him from the beginning because she feels the same way I do.

No, he's not going to be some savior that will fix all our problems. He may not be a great president. But it would be a magnficent moment if he made it.

I've been told by pundits and friends and associates that it ain't gonna happen. That the red states will remain red. That whites in the blue states are going to be frightened by the big black man and go for the safe old white guy. The white guy who seems to think that America must invade to stay safe, that America must win at all costs, that might makes right. (And where in our constitution does it say that we're the world's policeman and must go out and deal with all the supposed tyrants and dictators? And if that's so, why are we so selective that we just happen to pick the one with all the oil reserves?)
So maybe it won't happen. Maybe Obama will just say "It's an honor to be nominated."
But I'll hope.

Memos From Rob

Harlan,

I've always wanted to pester you about your 'Memo From Purgatory' for The Hitchcock Hour. Basically, there are 6 questions in this post. What a pain-in-the-ass, right?

Anyway, if I remember correctly that was in 1964. You were by this time around for - how long? - 10 years at most? Which means you'd only STARTED doing scripts for tv! Talk about leaping buildings in a single bound!! You were already working for a cinema legend.

How did Hitchcock's staff FIND your book? You just got a call from your agent and the rest was history?? Was it really that simple?

You were in the early years of your career and suddenly you find yourself at the Universal lot, very possibly talking with Hitch himself.

Did you sit and talk with him?

I'm also wondering if your friendship with Walter Koenig actually goes back to that collaboration.

To sum the question as you're used to hearing it: "Did ya ever meet Hitchcock himself and what was it like???"

(Actually, to be serious, I'm more intrigued by how the show discovered you. Maybe it's because of Bradbury who'd done some of the shows; if he gave them your name, that would explain it. Nothin' like connections!)

Because of the medium of commercial tv I felt the episode itself was watered down; it lacked the dark and entrancing subjectivity of your book. I mean you'd really put the reader in your own shoes, allowing us to feel the cold and grime of the inner city, and the lives of the hopeless forever etched in the asphalt (one of your trademark themes). A timeless issue. I wonder if ANY of those you met in that gang are still living. Most likely not.

Oops, I'm sorry, I didn't realize somebody else had already provided contact information for David Silver. It snuck in there while I was composing my own message. Dueling posts!

Oh, well, in the meantime, welcome to the forum, Kevin! Don't be scared to post now. The majority of the people here are enlightened and fascinating, and in a lot of different ways. And Harlan is really a big marshmallow most of the time. ;)

Love,

Connie W.

Ooh, I'm so excited after watching Obama speak tonight, I have so much hope right now, and I came to the forum to see what some of you other people think. I think it was a slam dunk, and I pray we'll see that "bounce" soon. Maybe I'm a starry eyed optimist, but it all just feels so right this time around. Harlan, how about you?

Lori Koonce, honey, David Silver is more than just "a" collector of antique cameras. He's one of THE great collectors and historians of antique cameras in the world! David sold a particularly rare camera from his collection on eBay last week, something that was apparently an "extra" he didn't need, for $6900! I wish I had ANYTHING extra like that lying around in my home! Here in the museum I've had to read many of his manuscripts on the history of cameras for various research projects, and they're always entertaining. But if you found some interesting antique camera in a junk shop, you do want to reach David because it might be money in your own pocket. He's in San Francisco like you! You can contact him at silver@well.com or silver@photographyhistory.com.

Peace to all,

Connie W. (no, not THAT Connie W.)
in wretched Rochester, New York (save me!)

Here I am, and David Silver's whereabouts


This is my first post here. I was in David Silver's writing workshop this summer, and he turned many of us on to Harlan Ellison, and if that's all I got out of the workshop I owe David a lot. Well I got a lot more than that from the workshop, but learning about Harlan and some of the other writers he highlighted was a real bonus. Reading Harlan has been a revelation. So I've lurked here fro several months, at David's recommendation although he says he doesn't come here too often himself, but I've been too scared to post. Then I saw Lori's post asking about David and I thought this was a perfect spot for me to come out of hiding. Lori, if you're in San Francisco you can find David Silver in the phone book! He's the one living in the avenues. His email is silver@well.com if you'd rather do that. Did you workshop with him? Wow, that was tough, but I learned so much from him, and totally practical! Beats hell out of all the writing classes I took i universtiy. Well to all the forum people, here I am, and I want to say hi to Harlan. Thank you for being such a sincere and powerful voice for so many years, and for having such a place to learn more about you and your work. I don't want to come off like another obnoxious fanboy, but you really do rock. I wish i had discovered your work many years ago, but thanks to David better late than never. Thank you!

Important Info For Harlan
Letter mailed, tracking number is:

01038555749378495726

Can be tracked at www.usps.com

KOS

For the first time in years, I have some hope in this country.

Steve Dooner

More From Vancouver....re "Dreams".....


http://www.canada.com/vancouversun/news/story.html?id=7ad6a13e-8f2a-40e5-97de-d36d0a536e63

"This isn't just a movie about Harlan Ellison - freakishly talented writer with a colourful past. This is a movie about the creative impulse and the artistic experience as a whole.

It's also about the experience of the artist as an individual, and the place he or she occupies in everyday society.

Thanks to Nelson's crafty piece of filmmaking, Ellison stands as a shining example of what being true to yourself, and being true to your craft, can bring you as a human being: It may not always be lucrative, but it's always rich."

Mail
Harlan:

Mailing a second letter tonight.

Which ever check arrives first, deposit it, and that which is second may be safely destroyed.

I am sending this second letter by Priority Mail in a Priority Mail package, so it ought to be there Saturday.

Politics:

I agree that any bounce from the convention will not come until after the convention. However, I think the lack of a bounce from Biden is worrisome to the Obama campaign. Howsomeever, that lack may be due to the fact that the Biden announcement was anti-climactic, coming as it did on the eve of the convention itself as well as on a weekend in August, which is about the worst time for news there is.

Anyway, as I said, I was and am talking out of my keester, as I am not privy to anything other than the basic facts as are available to all. Total barstool talk, but as I wrote, this is a spectator AND a participant sport. I lean to voting for Obama, with a sentimental and longing look at a Libertarian vote (though I KNOW they are loons and if I thought one would win I would get nervous, but then I get nervous EVERYtime someone new sits down in that Big White house).

As for McCain: not likely for me. Having said that, I am struck by the idea that McCain would be likely to tack to about the position on most things that Bill Clinton did. I think the major difference would be the courts, where McCain of course would nominate pro-life people. But McCain and a Dem. House/Senate would likely lead to the sort of domestic recovery we had under Clinton.

Despite the above, the choice between McCain and Obama is one of those rare times in presidential politics when the voters have a real and obvious choice, the first since 1972: Iraq, in or out?

Cynic that I am, I think Obama will be forced by the situation to move slowly on Iraq. McCain would be as hamstrung by "facts on the ground' as Obama, though much more likely to take adventuresome steps there than BHO, but also less fearful of a right wing backlash ("N-Word goes to China" Effect) if he retrenches from a maximalist position re: "victory".

Bottom line: I would bet money that no matter who takes the oath of office on January 20, 2009, that on January 20, 2010 there are about 50,000 American military members still on the ground in Iraq.

I don't like that idea at all, but I know how things like this have gone in the past. You know the drill, politics and sausage, etc?

I'm looking forward to the Big Speech tonight. I expect tomorrow the polls to show a five point bounce for BHO.

As for the idea that we are a Stupid and/or Racist Nation if BHO is not leading massively: As my first wife always told me when i said something like that, "Get A Grip!". We're an average nation. The average person is, well, really average. Stunning fact, that, right? Most people fear change, most people say they want change but really down deep fear it. They usually know when it is needed, but it's like going to the Doctor for a painful but necessary procedure: can we possibly do this tomorrow?

The truly amazing thing is that a Black, Freshman Senator whose only previous government experience was in a medium-sized midwestern state legislature, who allegedly has the most "liberal" voting record in the Senate, whose running mate is an Senator from a small Northeast state with the third most "liberal" voting record in the Senate is actually leading in the polls sixty-eight days before the election. Not to mention that someone such as myself, a self described conservative, might vote for them.

I lived in Alabama for a year and three months in the 1960s. I have seen real, unabashed racism up close. The country has changed. Not completely, not yet a sea change, but Damn Close.

Ain't this fun?

KOS

"Dreams . . ." in Vancouver


Dreams doc bares sharp-toothed sci-fi writer Harlan Ellison
By John Lucas

In a sense, Erik Nelson started making Dreams With Sharp Teeth, his 2007 documentary about American science-fiction legend and all-around cultural maverick Harlan Ellison, 27 years ago. . . .

http://www.straight.com/article-159260/emdreamsem-doc-bares-sharptoothed-ellison

E.C. Horrors
The fellow who steps in after Pelosi would be ex-Klansman pro-tem Byrd, currently the oldest seated Senator. He got the job by being elected to office. Unlike Ford, Rockefeller, Humphry and a few dozen (or hundred) others who were "appointed" some of these high offices - Like Bush, Jr. was appointed by a handful of people, lest we forget.

I hope you folks enjoy the Speech tonight HALF as much as I am going to.

Obama (with Biden) is going to run the map. I said it in February and I'm saying it again now. McCain maybe pulls four states. IF he can hang on to Arizona.

I have not been wrong about any aspect of this process since October 2006 and I'm not going to be wrong now.

- Barney Dannelke

To Alan Coil and others: The Electoral College (again)(groan)
I'll give this alarm one more try. As we learned (or should have) in 2000, the popular vote is only Part I. It's the dreaded Electoral College that decides the Presidency. As the situation stands right now, Obama holds a slight lead in the EC, even though McCain leads in more states. BUT... many (too many) of the states are photo-finish close; some flip back and forth on a daily basis. Remember, to win you have to put together a combo platter of states whose EVotes total 270. PVote totals... well, Gore beat GWB by better than 500,000 of those, and here we are eight years later. What we should have done was get rid of the EC years ago, but that requires amending the Constitution, like we did with the Equal Rights Amendment. Bottom line: we're stuck with this cockamamie system, and these are the rules we have to play by. Take nothing for granted, and assume nothing. Meantimes, here's a fun civics question for you all: Who is next in line of presidential succession after Speaker Pelosi? (And how did he or she get the job?) Enjoy...

ERIK - It's part of the "It Came From Schenectady" program? Cool. I'm probably not going to be able to make it up, though that's right in the middle of the old stomping grounds. Tempting.

That it's currently scheduled to screen after a Q&A with Barry Longyear and before the midnight showing of "Blade Runner - the Final Cut" is a nice slice of their 24 hour marathon to sit for. A big screen screening of "A Boy And His Dog" earlier in the day (4:15pm) is an added bonus.

HARLAN - Heads up - there's an envelope en route. Might be there tomorrow, maybe Saturday, could be Tuesday. Nothing that will change the course of mighty rivers, but it removes a line item from the Big List of Things To Run To Ground.

Anybody who has ever watched the wonderful Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny knows what a true tranny is.

==========

I went through the first 30 or so years of my life completely dense. Bone-stick-stone dense. (Not stupid, dense. I was never stupid.)

Life was so much easier then.

Obama should be at a minimum level of 60% of the vote. That he isn't just shows how many more bone-stick-stone dense people there are out there.

Where Do You Get Your Ideas??

In honor of the service that provides (and has provided for lo these many years) ALL of Harlan's ideas, the fair City of Schenectady is going to be showing "DREAMS WITH SHARP TEETH" on September 13th, at a venue known as "Procters".

Schenectady Beer may or may not be served.

The Idea Service Staff may or may not be in attendance.

Best,
Erik Nelson

Bits and Pieces.....
Brian Siano: The term foodie covers a lot more that just liking food. A foodie is concerned about where the food comes from, is it grown sustainably and localy, stuff like that.


Mark Goldberg: You almost got me kicked outta the library dude. I saw you comment about HE in drag, and for some reason I immanaged the him in the kind of suit that Robin Williams wore in Mrs. Doubtfire. Took me a good 5 minutes to calm down from the laughter!

Anyone: Have any of you heard from David Silver? I know he collects antique cameras, and saw one in a junk shop, and would like to tell him about it.... Any contact info that can be shared would be great!

HERC
Hi Harlan/Susan,

Is membership of HERC the same price for overseas and more importantly do you have any of either 'The Glass Teat' or 'The Other Glass Teat' in stock.
Also, when paying, is cash ok or should it always be a cheque.

Many Thanks for your time, Iain.

Gee, thanks Josh, the image of Harlan dressed in drag was just what I needed. Good thing I am skipping lunch today...

Here is a mind-boggling interview with McCain conducted by Time:

http://www.time.com/time/politics/article/0,8599,1836909,00.html

If you introduced the McCain from 1999 to the McCain of today, would they even know each other?

On a completely different note, a very happy birthday to Jan Schliecker, frequent poster and master of the SPIDER realms...

I have a confession to make...

I'm stupid. It's true, yes, I'm sorry to have subjected all of you to my level of incompetence for so long, but what can I say? Young Jackanapes pointed out the truth but a few moments ago and I wanted to share it with you. Watch out, Harlan. You thought you could tell a good story...

I made a batch of chocolate chip cookies from frozen pieces of cookie dough for the boys and my mother-in-law this morning, thinking they would have them as treats this weekend when Doug and I head out to reclaim our sanity. The timer dings, and I take them out of the oven to cool. Mmmmm....fresh cookies....

Upon returning to the kitchen a few minutes later, ready to plate the cooled cookies and set them aside, what to my wondering eyes does appear but a cresent shaped cookie amidst the round, a crescent bearing teeth marks and bits of crumbled cookie around the edges.

Knowing that my youngest didn't even realize I'd made cookies, I called Young jackanapes into the kitchen and said, "Hey, look at this. I wonder how that cookie got there."

And Young Jackanapes says to me (bless his pointed head): "That's becaue you took a bite of the frozen cookie dough before you set it down on the cookie sheet, and it made a cookie with a bite out of it. See? You can see your teeth marks."

"Really?" says I. "I don't remember eating cookie dough."

"You did," says he. "The bite of cookie dough turned into a bite out of the cookie."

"Crumbs and all, huh?"

"Yup."

"Ah." By this time, my eyebrow was cocked, loaded, and the safety was off.

What does the Young Jackanapes do? Why, he smiles, points to the cookie, and says, "Since it already has a bite out of it, can I have the rest?"

A+ for Effort, D for Execution....




shagin

JOSH, I'd wondered about that too....

(Not that there's anything wrong with that.)

________________________________

See y'all on the flipside. Cris and I are headed to NYC for the long weekend.

Gonna see 'Wicked' for the second time and eat some real honest-to-gosh coal oven pizza.

Huh. I've been to Harlan's house more times than I can count. I thought I'd seen every freakin' thing in it, but I'll be damned if I've seen his tranny. There's no question that the lovely Mrs. is all woman, so I gotta ask:

Ellison, do you have some kind of Eddie Murphy-style double life going on that you want to tell us all about?

The aged street person


:: Weeeping piteously, Yr. Pal (the destitute, begging for alms
:: in the agora, I kiss the kerb of your kaftan, Sahib)
:: Ellison, the Poor Little Match Girl.


Don't forget the eye patch and the tin cup. Maybe Warner Brothers will lend you theirs. . . .

Change of pace for linguistic fun
I came across a reference to "foodies" today, and I found myself feeling a particular kind of irritation. Maybe you've experienced it, too: the sense that a word's been invented because people dislike the old word for some insubstantial reason.

In this case... the word "gourmet" would have worked. I mean, "foodies" sounds like a line of stuffed toys, like the Veggie Tales characters filled with kapok. What's wrong with _gourmet_? Is it because it's a litle old-fashioned or archaic? If you like food, you're a gourmand. If you like really fine food, you're a gourmet. Or an epicure. Or, at least, aspire to be a gourmet. Nothing wrong with that, as far as I can see. So maybe the original word seems archaic, old-fashioned, or even pretentious. What's wrong with using the word to re-invigorate it? Or re-claim it a little?

Look at it this way. Let's say you like to pay attention to the culture. You read, listen to music, watch TV and see movies. And maybe you like to think about these things long after you watch'em or listen to them. You compare'em to other things in the culture. You read what other people say about these things, and maybe form some opinions and bounce'em off of other people. Maybe you cultivate some insight into why you like one thing, and dislike another. All of that's perfectly fine to do. But if you call yourself an _intellectual_-- which is pretty much the word for this-- suddenly people get very suspicious and defensive.

Are there any words you can think of that seem, well, manufactured to _avoid_ using a better-but-unfashionable word?

:)

"my tranny slips more often, and if the overhead upholstery in the back seat keeps giving my passengers foam dandruff, well, we're all going to have to suck it up."

Foam dandruff? haha. Funny one my leige.

-------------

Dennis, I doubt that site is as politically agreeable as you say. Remember, the mainstream media serves its propaganda function by excluding progressive or radical voices.

Imagine the perfect world--to dream:

"Now on the PBS Newshour a different historical perspective on the Russia conflict, we are now joined by historian Chalmers Johnson..."

"This is Larry King Live--for the whole hour, Linguist, activist, Noam Chomsky is here. Will give his perspective on the election and everything political. Noam Chomsky, tonight on Larry King Live..."

"Tonight on Charlie Rose, activist, filmmaker, Tariq Ali is here. He will fill us in on the what is going on in the middle east and the world. Plus, underground artist Jello Biafra gives us his acerbic take on the political and social scene--tonight, on Charlie Rose..."

"On Washington Week, we have a new panelist, Janine Jackson, of Fairness And Accuracy In Media. She will tell us why the media is corporate, not liberal as some say..."

"Today on Meet The Press, Robert Fisk of the independent of London gives us his special take on the middle east and the world. On our round table, the progressive media, where from here? We will be joined by Jeff Cohen, Eric Alterman and Adolf Reed to discuss the progressive media and how it is shaping America..."

Ahhh, to dream.

---------------

Diane, not eating sausage in Chicago is like a New Yorker not eating a Nathan's hotdog. You must be one of those grass grazers.

--------------

I prefer the Marx brothers, because they sound like fellow Communists. teehee.

Harlan, I already worship you. But I am on the other side of the country. And I have not eaten sausage in many many years. Frank and Janisse, good points. I am going to see what things Professor Kirstein is involved in these days. I know Obama is not an answer, but he's so much better than the alternatives. Like a pimple is better than leprosy. I have a question; have any of you guys noticed that people don't smile any more? Ever. When I was downtown the other day, I was happy. Love downtown. Loved my carriage ride. So, I was grinning. Maybe one out of every twenty or thirty people of the street or in the buildings smiled back. Including the small children. I find this very disconcerting. Like an update of Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Why I assume aliens don't smile, I don't know. Perhaps they miss their home planet. God knows, I miss mine. KOS, I can't tell you where I read this. (I'm old, I forget many things I read.) But it was several months ago. And it said that the middle and lower classes are worse off financially and in terms of opportunities to buy homes, keep their home, find meaningful jobs, etc. then they have been since well before the Depression of the 30s. This was mainstream media and a reputable social science type study. I wish I could remember what and who and where I read it. But I know, based on my friends and families that it's true. People are hurting, really hurting. Even people who were okay before the Georgie Jr. saga. The price of rat meat has gone up in Cambodia. Do we have to be reduced to eating rodents here before any body in power wakes up? Hope not. I have two pet rats. And two pet cats. But seriously, how have we come to this pass in this country?

Election
I talked to one Congressman here in California who said the polls will remain neck and neck until the first debate. We'll see.
I just remember that I personally thought Gore and Kerry won their debates handily, but that didn't matter in the least.

Anyway, one site I go to regularly is www.electoral-vote.com -- it keeps track of all the state polls daily, with an interactive map showing how the candidates are doing in each state.

Also worthwhile is www.realclearpolitics.com that is basically a clearing house for all the major news articles about politics in the country -- from all sides of the spectrum.

****************************************************************

And "Implacement" is a pretty good word, I think.

.............I REALLY like Joe Biden!

That should've been "implant" or "implementation" or or "insertion" or "emplacement" -- but not whatever the hell was, that I inputedly enjoindered. Or injoindered ...

-he

MEDICAL APPOINTMENT REPORT #10


We have to come to an understanding about this shit.

I went to see quite a different medical specialist early today.
The procedure turned out to be wallopingly more painful than I--with my inhumanly high pain threshold--expected. And we came home and I have been lying down all day, onaccounta the "anti-pain" pill they gave me knocked me loopy.

I am fine.

Not just blow-you-off "fine," but actually and really JES' FINE.

No, it wasn't heart, it wasn't cancer, it was something else that's been going on for about six-seven months and I never mentioned it because it was, well, just icky. And though we made the appointment for the actual procedure today, about 2 weeks ago, just after the stent implacement, I simply didn't feel like Putting Any More of My Business ...

In The Street ...

As we homies put it. There are all MANNER of weighty things going on with us, but I think it is time y'all stopped clucking over me like Yiddishe Mommas (that means you, too, Cindy, you li'l deitybutt-kisser, you) and understand that I KNOW you give a fuck, and I grin at the knowledge, but at age 74 we have all got to acknowledge that a lot more frequently now than in the 50-60 years past, my oil needs changing more often, my tranny slips more often, and if the overhead upholstery in the back seat keeps giving my passengers foam dandruff, well, we're all going to have to suck it up. Because there is little as doom-saying as An Olde Jewe kvetching about his guhderim. You could look it up (sp?) in Leo Rosten.

Thus: I am fine, jes' fine; it was icky; it should be a non-starter henceforth, worrywise; and I love you all.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

KOS,

While I agree with you that whomever get elected, they will have to deal with all of the shit that the current administration has left. your assessment of Obama's chances are not accurate

You state that he has not received a bump yet with the Biden selection, yet past elections have not shown any true bump to occur until after a Convention is completed. I would suggest waiting until after the Convention to making any assessments on this regard.

The fact of the matter is that Obama is polling ahead of where Kerry was in every single demographic except in one crucial one, Democrats themselves. Kerry received around 89-90% of the Democratic vote, Obama is right now around 80-82%. With the speeches by the Clintons, with an increased awareness of McCain's policies (such as highlighting how pro-life he truly is), expect those Democratic numbers to meet or exceed the ones Kerry achieved. If he does that, he should win by 5-7 percentage points.

In addition, Obama is leading in every single state that Kerry won, as well as Ohio, Colorado, Nevada, New Mexico, Montana (states that Bush won in 2004) and is close to overtaking McCain in North Carolina, Virginia, and some other Western states.

The Bradley effect you mentioned is very real and no one can predict how strong of a factor it will become. Right now, however, it looks like the hatred the public has for the Bush administration has overriden that effect

Mark

KOS:

Many days later. Nothing in the PO Box of which we spoke. Can you trace, or should I just wait? Either way is okay.

-he

WHADDAYA, A BLIND BAT???

JUPITER JIM:


As big as a neon sign, there is a place to go RIGHT HERE, at this very website, where you can BUY a copy of the goddam book from MEEEEEEEEEEEE, and put the bucks in MYYYYYYYYYY pocket! Or you can join HERC and get our flier with all sorts of my books, in mint condition, at a fraction of the cost they charge for this shit on e.bay, et al. Unless you're impecunious, what is this barter crap, Sunny Jim?

Whassa matter from you people?!!?

Don't tell me about how goddam valuable a personal website like this is, financially, because no one who comes here--freshly-- apparently checks out the perks and flutings available. It is to make an old man cry. Old man=me. Cry==cry.

SHOW ME THE MONEY, TURKEY!

Weeeping piteously, Yr. Pal (the destitute, begging for alms in the agora, I kiss the kerb of your kaftan, Sahib) Ellison, the Poor Little Match Girl.

"an appearance"

Stan Freberg and the Vietnam War

In the early 1970's Stan Freberg made and appearance on The Dick Cavett Show. If you go here,

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rf4zKt69LGQ

you will see the first part of his appearance (about 5 minutes) in which he comments about the over-booking that takes place on talk shows, Johnny Carson, for instance.

If you go here,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vt6iCTMp8xE

you'll see the second part, a longer section (nearly ten minutes) in which Freberg and Cavett discuss and listen to a series of radio spots Freberg produced concerning the "wind-down" of the Vietnam War and the McGovern-Hatfield amendment, which Congress defeated in 1970.

If you substitute "Middle East" for "Southeast Asia" and "Iraq" for "Vietnam" these spots could almost air today without editing. A rather sad commentary on our times.

Stan and Babe
Whatwhatwhat? Have I almost missed a Laurel & Hardy discussion???
I have been a proud card-carrying member of Helpmates, the London branch of The Sons of the Desert (the L&H appreciation society) for nigh on twenty years!

The first films I remember watching in the early 70s (on Super-8 reels, with sound!) were LAUGHING GRAVY and BELOW ZERO - still my favourites, along with THE CHIMP - although clips of the Boys' silent films were shown as part of UK comedian Bob Monkhouse's TV series MAD MOVIES in the late 60s. And then, as Jes Bickham says, the sound shorts were shown after school on BBC2 in the mid-70s. 'Recomember?'

(Oh, and Brian Phillips - it's JAMES Finlayson, not Tommy - a true Scot! And I believe Dick Van Dyke also gave the eulogy at Stan's funeral as his final tribute to the man....)

****************

On the first anniversary of 9/11, my brother and I, on holiday in LA, sought out the Music Box steps, and eventually found them. Unfortunately it was 'garbage collection day' in that part of Hollywood, and half a dozen dustbins had been put out in front. We had to haul the bins away in order to take photos of the brass plaque that has been installed at the foot of the stairway.

As we did so, one of the residents came over to us, and we thought she was going to tear us off a strip. Instead she said, 'Would you like me to take a photo of the two of you in front of the steps?' We readily agreed.

Once she had taken the picture, we thanked her, and apologised for taking up her time. 'No problem,' she said, with a grin. 'People from all over the world come here. We're used to it!'

I have in the past met Stan's daughter Lois, but the only actor I have met who actually appeared with the Boys was the late great Peter Cushing, who has a cameo in A CHUMP AT OXFORD.

I always saw Stan & Babe (Ollie's nickname) as the perfect melding of the UK and the US - much like H & S, in fact....

*******************

I find the cruelty of the Stooges difficult to watch now, though I enjoyed them as a kid. The Marxes still give me pleasure, as do Keaton, Lloyd and WC Fields - all sadly neglected now in the UK, apart from the DVD box sets released to little or no fanfare.
I've also managed to track down a few films of the virtually forgotten Wheeler and Woolsey, whom I enjoy (and who used several of the L&H supporting cast in their time).

Incidentally, a 50-volume DVD boxed collection of the Boys was released in the UK a few years ago - worth seeking out in lieu of a US set.

Pardon me - my ear is full of milk.....

Cheers
Rob E.

Randomness
Revolution in America is like Fusion Power in Physics: It's always on the horizon.

The American system has always been able to co-opt the revolution and turn it into mainstream. I know, save it: You think THIS time will be different. Hope springs eternal, despair is a sin. I commmend you for your faith.

There ain't any middle class anymore? Wow, and I get called a "mushroom popper"?!

Yr. Basic American Middle Class is sick, it's hurting, but it's definitely still there and in living memory (see the 1930s) it has been sicker and yet recovered.

I get the sinking feeling a lot of soi disant progressives eagerly look and/or hope for the death of the middle class in hopes of that enabling social change. Obviously that would happen: no middle class would give you some real change. I'm not so sure it's the change many of the Progressive faith want, or at least claim to want when speaking publicly to the faithful.

Since democracy is defined, at least by them what invented it (the Greeks, and if you don't like this definition go argue with Aristotle, not me. I'm just the messenger) as "rule by the middle class", ihe loss of the middle class would by definition (if you accept the Greek definition, of course, and if you don't, well then forget about it) mean the end of democracy.

As for a revolution in America (or just about anywhere else) being a battle between the rich and the poor: Is there gambling in Casablanca also, Inspector Renault?


The election: Whosoever DOES win, he will be like the plumber called in to fix the pipes after the Three Stooges have worked all day screwing things up, running water through electric conduits and out the TV set. He's gonna get all the blame, none of the credit, and will be so busy patching old leaks that he'll likely miss some new ones.

Having said that, my prediction, based on the twitches of my ass , and talking straight out of it: Obama falls short by about five per cent. I believe the Bradley Effect (as in Tom Bradley in 1988's California governor election) will raise its' ugly head. If he does not have at least a five point lead going in, he will lose by three to five points. That at this point he has no "bounce" from the convention or the choice of Biden, is not good for him. He may yet get a bounce out of the Main Event at the football stadium tomorrow. He needs it.

I'd enjoy being proved wrong. Well know in seventy-two days.

Politics is the greatest spectator sport there is, because we are not just spectators, we are deeply in the game as we observe it.

The Stooges were bright, charming, hard working Jewish boys who
had more fun in their lives than is legally allowed anywhere this side of paradise. I admire the Marxes, I loved Laurel and Hardy, Lou Costello was the ultimate Class Clown, but I wanted to BE a Stooge.

'Nuff said. All this theorizing gives me a headache. It's funny people doing funny stuff. Relax, get to it, when you want to do it. Laugh.

And I thought hyperbole was restricted this week to Denver?

KOS

JUMPING Jupiter Jim---

There is a current edition of Shatterday that should be available near you, if you don't care which printing you get. I recently bought a new copy to replace my old, battered one.

Diane,

There is coming (Very soon, I hope)a revolution in this country, and I've got the unmistakeable feeling that it's going to be the poor against the rich. See, there ain't any middle class anymore. Add to that the fact that our constitutional rights are being eroded more and more every day by little things like the Fascist/Gestapo tactics being put forward as "safety precautions" by Homeland Security, and you have the makings of a revolution.

What you and I BOTH can do is offer what talents we have, even if we think that they're of little use. Even if we think we're too poor or too "little", just remember this - There are more of "Us" than there are of "Them", and the only offering that will be considered "too small" is the one that is not offered.

Re: Cronenberg/Lynch
Harlan -
No worries, I figured it was just a momentary brainfart, and I really wouldn't worry. A couple of months ago I was introduced to a man called Dan, and I called him Jeff all night. Imagine my chagrin the next day when a mutual acquaintance called me up on it. (The confusion stemming from his surname being Jefferson, which I equate as the same confustication concerning the two Davids.)
But! On to the recent comedy discussion. I confess to being remiss as concerns the Marx/Stooges brothers, but when I was growing up BBC2 showed Laurel and Hardy and Harold Lloyd constantly, and I only love them. And to echo recent comments, ATC's story had me off my stool. Magnificent, sir!
Hope our gracious host, lady wife, and all connected with Webderland are copacetic,
Jes

Would any one here care to trade?
Sorry to bust in on the L&H discussions but I am looking for a copy of "Shatterday". I will trade my copy of "Strange Wine" for this book. As a token of my good will I will give you a copy of "Hell and High Water" from Pyramid books 1956. The cover alone is great. Email me with a subject line that reads "shatterday". No Nigerian investment opportunites please.

Cheese Status

Frank: Kell's post just after yours, although following the L&H thread, answers the question you asked me. "A lot of it comes down to timing and opportunity."

Basically, I know a guy who knows a guy. So even though the Mighty and Famous were involved with this thing, the sum of my interactions with those folks went like this:

"This is Mike. He's the editor."

"Hi."

"Hi."

Still, it felt good to be of service to a campaign I support.

Yes, I was a geek. Am a geek. Probably always will be a geek. As far as my Cheese Status is concerned, I'm afraid I'm only a very, very modest one. On my good days, perhaps a nice artisanal cheese, locally produced at an organic dairy, but definitely a mouse portion.

MM

But I Still Want Pie
I've read here of PIE CARTS.

I brought the coffe,WHERE ARE THE PIE CARTS?

i like pie

m

Timing

A lot of it comes down to timing and opportunity.

I caught an Abbot & Costello marathon when I was about seven so them I understand but wasn't exposed to L&H, Marx or Stooges until well after Monty Python had etched itself on my conscious so it's not that I don't get them, they're just not there in my hindbrain. As such people who don't get Python lack that essential evolutionary step that would ensure them a seat on the choice branch from which we chuck our feces at the other primates.

Mayhew, are you shitting me? How in the world did you get that gig? Didn't know you were a big cheese.

Big high five there papa. You must have been a huge AV geek in high school.

--------------

Harlan, as long as you are eating those salads, taking those vitamins, meds, whatever. Drink lots of water, do tons of walking.

Sausage breath.

Doctor Frank is out.

--------------

I should talk. I ate a whole pizza the other day. Tasted like love. Or death disguised as love.

---------------

Diane, that is an old complaint: "I am too poor, I don't have any power, what can I do to combat that big machine, that just keeps on spitting out chains and blinders." You can do a lot. I'm sure there are many activist groups that need your help. Look online, smell the coffee--it tastes like revolution.

If you haven't been to jail before you are 30 then you are not a real American. hehe.

They are treating the protesters in Denver like garbage. Pure nazi stuff. No hyperbole or charged intent. We still have a very sick ass country.

Diane, we need all the help we can get. Obama is not the savior.

Keith Cramer

Makes sense that the station id was used for quick censoring. Seemed like they hit at close to the half and quarter hour, so I just assumed. (Although I remember thinking that they’d missed one of them by about five minutes.) Listening to Harlan, I just don’t think about the words that are going to come from his mouth. Particularly funny since it followed on the heels of Harlan’s potential participation in Carlin’s dirty words case.

Mike

I'm really a Marx Brothers man, but . . .

Anyone who has ever attempted physical comedy knows that what the stooges did took enormous planning and thought. Of course, they had "Lazzi" that they could pull out of their pockets at anytime and for any circumstance, but they are far better than many perceive at first glance, and their timing was still pretty good even when they were of considerable age.

Of course, old Vaudeville Routines such as "Niagra Falls" or "Bagel St." (a.k.a "The Susquehanna Hat Company") were always welcome in their Stooges or Abbott and Costello renditions, but the Stooges could also transcend derivative material and repetitious physical comedy.

Whether it's Curly battling with a vicious clam in "Dutiful But Dumb" or a drunken Shemp preferring a giant imaginary canary to a real girl in "Cuckoo on a Choo-Choo," the Stooges did have moments when they reached the comedic sublime.

And how many of us could forget Osama Bin Laden's famous cousin, "Hassan Bin Sober."

Steve Dooner

My thoughts on Stan and Ollie
First, a big thank you to AT-C. Certainly made me chuckle, and the Pavilion has been a much brighter place since.

I thought I'd take a stab at Harlan's question. Sounded to me like some sort of Venn diagram. For me, the Stooges and Marxes are in two partially overlapping circles. I like both. They are ensemble acts, but I find a double act can generate more intense conflict, and arguably stronger comedy as a result.

So in my diagram, Stan and Ollie lie outside those two sets, in a big circle, possibly of their creation, in which I would include Tom & Jerry, Steptoe & Son, Ren & Stimpy, Richie Richards & Edward Elizabeth Hitler. It is the set of acts consisting of two blokes who clearly love each other, but inevitably end up getting on each other's tits.

Nice interview, although they sure managed to put the station identification over vital bits of anecdote several times. The call-in section reminded one of "The Hour That Stretches".

I'm waiting for a sentence in LOST: "Don't call me dude, OKAY?"

The Humanist Part of the Pie


In taking a shot at Harlan's encrypted question, Barney zeroed in on the real essence of Stan & Ollie.

Other than the subject of demographics, I would never put the Stooges in any proximity of the masters, L&H, Fields, Marx Brothers, & Chaplin. The latter were all innovators. The Stooges were lazy laughs. It's like comparing Erik Estrada to Ian McKellen; or a garage mechanic to Da Vinci.

I KNOW this because I sat once or twice thru a Stooges marathon. Their predictable shtick wears thin FAST, and a pretty good laugh comes now and then, but it's sparse. The best chuckle is the shards of hair they keep pulling out of Larry's head.

While Stan Laurel was actually a filmmaker - constructing and editing routines to create timing and throw an audience now and then - the Stooges were an economic THUMP! BONK! BOINK! with little else.

But more importantly, a brotherhood bonds Stan & Ollie. They survive their obstacles together, even though they never seem to find solutions. If the Marx Brothers were the anarchists, Stan & Ollie were the humanists. Neither could handle women (their wives often wielded a hatchet or a hunting rifle, reassuring us of WHO wore the pants). Thus, thus they often had subtext about role-playing and social mores. As A CHUMP AT OXFORD demonstrates, for all the problems they create for one another, they DON'T wish to part. This is the most endearing aspect to Laurel & Hardy. Hey, listen - even Oliver Hardy's trademark cry of pain resonates a human quality you just can't BEAT.

Yet, returning to the question of demographics, the Stooges have had a good bit of exposure to more recent generations while ALL those masters are scarcely known by ANY group under 30 (although, interestingly, the markets have rekindled Chaplin. I mean I'm always elated when I actually run into people in their 20's who know and appreciate some of his stuff. He's been on cable a lot and I think that's one reason. Now they've gotta bring the others back)

The Stooges' simple-minded lack of subtlety also happens to fit the low-brow standard of American humor that's so prevalent now. Cheap laughs are pretty fuckin' popular.

It isn't really quite right,'far's I'm concerned.

Thus, while the Marx Brothers are subverting high society, and the Stooges (This is the one and only time I will EVER talk about the Stooges in conjunction with THOSE guys!) are just standing around cracking heads in staccato, Stan & Ollie



get into physical and complex arguments with each other. Their measures typically preclude them from making any real progress in even the simplest endeavors. There's one bit I remember, wherein the fellers want to enter a house without disturbing the occupants. Ollie pushes Stan through an open window, but they get into an argument and Stan closes the window on Ollie. Ollie signals for him to open the front door. Stan opens the door but steps out to greet Ollie, and lets the door close behind him. There are several variations of Ollie and Stan entering and leaving various doors and windows, until Stan finally rings the doorbell, alerting the butler who falls down the stairs, scaring Ollie out the door. Now they're back where they started. This is an example of Stan Laurel's method of construction, making everything a ruse.

The markets over the last few decades have favored the simpler over the more intricate. I hope that gradually changes. Maybe Obama can do something about that as WELL when he's elected!

For the Political Junkies in the room

I edited a video for the Democratic Convention entitled "A Timeless Call," which will be shown at the convention Wednesday and, most likely will be broadcast as part of the primetime coverage of same.

The piece is a seven and a half minute tribute to military veterans and is meant to be a springboard for various speakers who will be talking about the Democratic positions on defense and the military, and especially the need to do right by those who have served and sacrificed over the years.

As a special bonus feature, among the many, many photos of people serving in the military over the last sixty years or so, there's a don't-blink-or-you'll-miss-it picture of my dad and his friends in Korea in 1951.

So, that's what I've been up to for the last month or so – Now I dedicate myself to two tasks of Monumental Importance:

1) Brat’s Brother’s sausage

2) Hydrox cookies (any luck finding those in the LA area?)


MM

3 Stooges, Marx Bros, L & H
I consider all of the above comic teams strong anti-depressants. But I admit that I tend to favor Laurel and Hardy. I once fell out of a chair laughing at Tit for Tat and laughed so hard I couldn't fully partake of the dinner my friends and I ordered at a restaurant after the movie.

The only other time I have laughed that hard at a movie it was at the opening screening of The Bramble Bush (starring Richard Burton)--and that movie was NOT intended as a comedy. It was so maudlin, such a complex, useless, twisted, ultra serious drawn out soap opera that I, at the age of 15, collapsed in a fit of teenaged hysterical laughter and actually had to be dragged out of the Egyptian Theatre into the lobby by two ushers. Sometimes comedy is where you find it. Anyone else here ever experience an unintentional comedy?

My father much preferred Laurel and Hardy. This is worth remarking on because he wrote the stories for several 3 Stooges shorts back in the 30s. I believe he also wrote a few more during the Stooge revival of the early 50s but he was blacklisted then so I think he may have done it through a front. When Dad was alive, he was quite embarrassed by his role in the creation of the Stooges flicks. (I remember one of them was "Whoops, I'm an Indian" and another was called "Grips and Groans"). He considered himself an intellectual of some sort, a "college man" as he would have said, and did not like to even admit he'd written any of that lowbrow slapstick stuff. When people mentioned that they'd seen his name in the credits, he would assume a deadpan expression and say, "Must be another Herman Boxer." This actually threw some people off the track (as if there could be anyone else with a name like that!) which made him happy. It seems delightfully ironic to me that Dad's claim to semi-fame is now the Stooges films. When I used to tell Dad that I enjoyed the Stooges, he thought I was being kind to him and he'd nod wearily in resigned acknowledgment and then change the subject.

I don't want to discuss this any further. I just want to relay a bit of heaven that fell into my universe today, and let it go at that. For anyone in the San Fernando Valley, or LA:

BRATS BROTHERS GOURMET SAUSAGE GRILL. 13456 1/2 Ventura Blvd., Sherman Oaks.

I will say only one more word: Austrian.

You will worship me for this. Yr. Pal, Harlan

Hi, all. How is life? Rick, this is for you. I am very sorry you had a bad week last week. Hope the next one is better. This is a great place and I feel happy and grateful to be here. If I ever do anything to add to your aggravation level or Harlan's please yell at me. I went to see my ortho surgeon yesterday, Dr. Wixson. He had replaced the right knee some years ago. It has been killing me for two years though, since this truck driver in a big old rig hit me. The good news was nothing was broken or dislocated. The bad new was the tendon got badly bruised and takes a long time to heal. The even better best news is that in the course of feeling the knee, the doc did something to help the tendon or release, because I left his office pain free, at least from the knee. He wrote a script for Pt for my back too , and hopefully ill lose weight. Hopefully. So to celebrate , I went to dinner. (Cant type tonite. ) This contradicts the weight loss ,I know. I love food.. Then I went for a much less painless walk in downtown Chicago. Beautiful town, which I adore. Then I took a carriage ride down Michingan Ave, the mansions ,Rush Street and the Lake. My horse's name was Hadley, the driver was this cool kid named Constantine, like 19, and I had a great time. STill no agonizing pain today, so I'm like ecstatic. I have a confession though. Here is where you guys and Harlan lose all respect for me. My dad loved Abbott and Costello, my aunt and godmother loved Laurel and Hardy, my brothers the Stooges and my old ex boyfriend the Marx brothers. I can't stand any of them. Never have been able to. Not just don't think any of them are funny; can not stand them. Not one giggle ever. My family was of the opinion that I have no sense of humor. But this is not true, cause the Peter Sellers Pink Panther movies still reduce me to helpless laughter after many viewings and many years, Monty Python and Fawlty Towers leave me helpless with laughter, and I laugh out loud at many books. Harlan's story about the deceased Jewish mom who returns left me in stichtes each time I read it again. I know I am a minority here, and I'm afraid Harlan and you all may disown me, but I can't help it. None of those guys ever made me laugh, not once. My mom agreed with me. Maybe it's genetic. Frank, I am glad to have started reading Chomsky. I've known who the enemy has been for quite awhile. Just confused about what me, little old disabled physically, economically powerless Diane can do about it. Other than vote for Obama. An old professor at my college, Peter Kirstein, has been in the forefront of liberal causes for many years. I may contact him, see what the anti war movement in Chicago is doing, etc. I think it's time for some good old Chi Town demonstrations. I would not have a problem with being arrested for exercising my 1st Amendment rights. Other than that, everyone be well and be happy and take care of yourselves. Rick, be well and don't let the down stuff get you too bad. Enjoy the beauty of the life around you and take the gratitude of me for providing this site. I don't think I ever would have gotten the chance to express my appreciation for Harlan's work otherwise.

The Boys
Before, I got all of Groucho's jokes, before the Stooges even, my early black and white TV watching were dominated by Laurel and Hardy. Those two reelers filled hours and days of my early viewing habits. I might evengot some rudimentary reading skills from trying to figure out what those sentences were at the start and end of the films. I certainly learned the names "Laurel and Hardy"

My devotion to Laurel and Hardy was cemented even further when our tonsils were removed. One sibling had to have his tonsils removed and doctor said "As long as I am doing one, why not let me do the other two and get them out of the way." So my mother was faced with having three us under foot...what to do? She wrote the host of one of the afternoon movie programs. "Do you have any films that keep three boys occupied." The host not only read the letter on the air, he programmed a WEEK of programs for us to watch. Treasure Island with Jackie Cooper and Wallace Berry, Huckleberry Finn with Mickey Rooney, and THREE feature legnths LAUREL AND HARDY movies! I had never seen the longer movies! What a thrill to see films that were not only longer, but new to my eyes! It was one of the great thrills of my then young life.

Many years later, I had moved to Los Angeles and was setteling in the Glendale area. My girlfriend at the time a LA Native was giving me a personal tour of her favorite sites and pointed from the window of her car "Oh and those are the steps from THE MUSIC BOX" I got her to stop the car, pull over and looked up those nearly endless set of steps and the short flashed back on my in a moment and I could see every take, every tinkle/crash of the strings as the piano crashed over and over down those steps. My girlfriend smiling and then laughing watched me walk up thos steps, looking back and with a stupidly wide grin on my face that took me back to when I was 6 years old.

Meeting, Harlan, Ray Bradbury, Captain Beefheart, and Jack Kirby are all high points in my life but seeing the place where they shot "The Music Box" is still the moment that brings a wide, stupid, grin to my face....and I have one now just thinking about. Thank you, Laurel and Hardy.

"Hot chart" axes for the Three Stooges, the Marx Brothers and Laurel and Hardy:

Animal

Sophisticated

Ethereal

Mutually perpendicular and intersecting, defining three pure dimensions of comedy.

The Pies Chart
Bringing a pair like Laurel & Hardy into the graph with The Marx Brothers and The Three Stooges, I think one might start to see more of a three-dimensional thing that could also bring Abbot and Costello into play, with the possibility of such a map then tapering out to include Martin & Lewis.

It cannot be done. No way.

The Boys
"You delighted in watching the Marxes, you sympathized with the Stooges, but you loved Laurel and Hardy."

Absolutely true, and I cannot think of any better way to put it.

I will go a little bit farther and say that with Abbott and Costello, you loved Lou, and wished you could bitchslap Bud, the sharpster who was always taking advantage of him.

But of the four sets of characters, the only ones you would like as houseguests -- as long as you hid the breakables and made sure they were closely supervised -- were Laurel and Hardy. Seriously. You certainly wouldn't want the Marxes around; Groucho would insult you and Harpo would mess with you whether you deserved it or not. Laurel and Hardy would at least TRY to be considerate and charming.

(And it seems to be true of the men, too. Lou Costello had a vindictive streak. The Marxes were not paragons of considerate behavior. But Laurel and Hardy? Well, do you know the story of ONE GOOD TURN, the only movie they ever made where Laurel turned on Hardy for a fight longer than one minute in duration? It's brutal; Stanley is outraged, and wails on Hardy at great length, until a shed collapses on top of Hardy. Wanna know why they messed with a well-established formula like that? It seems that Hardy adored Laurel's little girl, who reciprocated until -- all of a sudden -- she started pulling away from him. Nobody knew why until somebody realized that she'd seen her Uncle Babe, Ollie, slapping around her father in their movies. She was too young to understand make-believe. So, out of love for her, they arranged for her father's screen persona to go postal. That was the entire reason. They made the film and made sure she saw it.)

I enjoy watching all of these guys, in different ways. I also love Chaplin, Keaton, and the woefully undervalued Harold Lloyd (check out THE KID BROTHER and GRANDMA'S BOY, both of which end with fight scenes that deserve to be ranked among the very best in movie history).

I am finally getting around to posting on this site
Based on the quality of some of these posts I think I will be joining in from time to time. I started reading Harlan's works back in the early 80's while enlisted in the navy. I needed short stories that were well written and gave me reason to think after finishing the story ( sorry but you need to be mentally stimulated while pulling a midnight to four AM shift).
I find myself rereading many of the books as they often provide motivation or just bring back memories of a period in my life. As an example I am getting laid off from a mediocre job this week so I went back and reread "anywhere but here with anyone with you" from slippage.
That pretty much puts me in a better frame of mind.
See you all next week.
And I prefer Laurel & Hardy over Chaplin...thats just me. Theyy are both great in their own right.

The difficulty in comparing the Marx Brothers with The Three Stooges is that the comedy styles of the two groups are dramatically (pun intended) different.

The Marx Brothers built comedic moments out of situations in which to a large extent they are not the drivers. They manipulate the situation enough to derive the laugh, but the laugh comes at the reactions of others to the absurdism of the moment.

The Three Stooges, of course, were masters of the slapstick move, entirely at the expense of each other.

It's kind of the same sort of difference you encounter between observational humor and something like oblivious self-deprecating humor. There's just no way to compare the two meaningfully. Both can be funny depending upon the framework and the viewer's frame of mind.

The Marx Brothers are very Dali in the creation of their world, while the Stooges worked very much in an identifiable real world.

The Stooges world is the same you would find Laurel and Hardy (frustration with everyday challenges; an earnestness in confronting those challenges; and a seriousness of purpose that adds to the humor). Another famous denizen would be Lucille Ball in 'I Love Lucy'.

The Marx Brothers, on the other hand, are more closely related to Monty Python and the stand up comedy of Robin Williams (where absurdism is everyday).

In the right mood, however, both groups (and all the above, for that matter) are the epitome of their craft. It's just that if the Marx Brothers are Dali, the Stooges are "Dogs Playing Poker".

The Great Classic Comedy Debate (with anecdote)
Growing up in Chicago in the 50s, I got exposed to the old two-reelers early - they were often the time-filler of choice between the live shows. As with most of us, I believe, the first ones I saw as a kid made the big impression; in my case Laurel and Hardy and The Little Rascals (aka Our Gang). Channel 7, the ABC station, bought the Hal Roach package early on (including Charley Chase, who didn't quite catch on) and ran L&H and The Rascals with impunity. One of the shows was hosted by Chubby Jackson, who had just left the Woody Herman band and had hooked up at ch7 as a staff musician (and if that doesn't date this story, nothing does). Jackson would begin the hour sitting at a makeup table, combing his hair forward, pencilling in his philtrem (sp?), and donning a derby and tight coat, then proceeding to an office set where as 'Ollie' he would address 'Stan' (a mannequin with back to camera) about the short we were about to see. At the half-hour, Jackson would return to the makeup table, remove the Hardy getup, don a sweater and beanie, and move to a clubhouse set with an audience of kids for a Rascals short. I was 5 or 6 but I got the message: it was playtime, make-believe, just laugh and have fun.(Oliver Hardy's death during this time drove the point home.) Anyway, Stan and Oliie came first, therby becoming the sentimental favorites for all time. The Marxes came next, when MGM sold their films to tv; it took me a while to associate that sassy old guy on YOU BET YOUR LIFE with the wild man in the frock coat, but with age - age 7, I think - came knowledge.The Stooges arrived last in this particular parade, and the lesson learned here is the key one: Each group had its own merits and faults, and thus could appreciated independently. Mind you, I wasn't this precocious (or pretentious) as a kid; it was just something I understood - what we call 'getting it'. (At this same time I was also getting Wheeler & Woolsey, Leon Errol, and once or twice even Clark & McCullough; I didn't see W.C. Fields until I was older, thus better able to get him.)
As to ranking all of these: a mugg's game. I take this as I take all things, case by case. Even a long losing streak can come to a surprising end; you'll never hear me say "Never again" and if that makes me the mugg, I can live with that. Oh, by the way, if any of you in the Pavilion should happen to recall a little screed I put up here a couple of months back about the Electoral College... I still think we could end up with 2000 revisited, and that gives me a shiver. Think I'll go look up a comedy... and try to figure out how to make paragraphs with this confounded thing.

Those wishing to listen to the Ellison appearance at WBAI should do so before the end on the weekend, as the show will only be available for a short time. The Ellison interview starts around the 19 minute mark, and lasts just over 40 minutes.

I just listened to it, and enjoyed it. But the real treat was listening to the escapees from the asylum when they took calls from listeners. There were also a couple of socially inept callers, especially the one who had to put down his fork and swallow a mouthful of food when it was his turn to speak. And there was one polite call from a guy who wants to be a writer. Ah, the dangers of working with the general public.

Love the Stooges, love the Marx Bros., for different reasons. Stooges have an almozt Zen simplicity to them. Two professors with Sig Rumann beards argue over whether sophistication is innate or learned. One of them says he can take bums off the street and turn them into gentlemen in _two weeks_. The other says that, if he can do _zat_, he vill be ze grrreatest zcientist in hiztory! Secretary comes in: "Professor? The plumbers are here." And lo, the story unfolds.

The contrast is that the Marxes were, in lots of ways, what you wanted to be when confronted by fools with more money and power than you. You wanted to slice them with wit. You wanted to confound them with gags. You wanted to run circles around then and confuse the fuck out of them. The Stooges, however, were the guys you were surrounded with, hadda work with, and in many cases, actually _were_. You watch the Stooges and thought, "Yeah, I been there."

I think love of Laurel and Hardy cuts across the Stooges-versus-Marxes lamination. They were as inept as the Stooges, but not as aggressive ("two funny gentlemen... two funny, gentle men"). They were as low down the social ladder as the Marxes, but they weren't out to pop the society blimps. You delighted in watching the Marxes, you sympathized with the Stooges, but you loved Laurel and Hardy.

(Another tree that might bear fruit is seeing these guys through the immigrant experience. The Marxes were hustlers and perennial outsiders. The Stooges assimilated as blue-collar workers. Laurel and Hardy weren't especially "ethnic," other than Stanley's accent, and weren't far removed from the middle class.)

WBAI?
Mike,

The station ID was put on to censor Harlan's words.

Deliberately.

But, that being said, it was a neat show. I didn't like the ding-dongs calling in, but apparently their Internet connections were down...

-Keith

Harlan's question, re: Marx/Stooges via Laurel'n'Hardy, reminds me of a scene in Garth Ennis's PREACHER comic book, in which the main character sets up the dichotomy not as Marx vs Stooges, but as Laurel'n'Hardy vs Charlie Chaplin. Chaplin, the character maintains, is all about arrogant showmanship, a "look at me, ain't I great" kind of attitude, whereas Laurel'n'Hardy are more about diligently telling a funny story with more rounded characters, the performers subsumed to the work as opposed to the other way around.

Does that sorta, kinda touch on the kind of conversation you were looking for, Unca Harlan?

Harlan

I very much enjoyed listening to you on WBAI last night. Always a pleasure no matter what the venue. A bit irritating that they played the station identification as you were speaking. (In one case, played right over the punchline.) But the larger frustration... Well, I know you’ve done call-in for years. Maybe you’re used to it. But, on behalf of the entire human race, I apologize for our behavior on the phones.

Thanks for putting up with us maroons.

Mike

WOO-HOOOO!!!!!! I won MASTERS OF SCIENCE FICTION on DVD! FedEx just delivered it... I entered one of those online giveaway contests and was chosen as one of the winners. Yay!!

Now if I can just get Tony Shalhoub for the film project I'm producing, my day would be perfect! :-)

Nobody really answered Harlan's question, so here goes:

I loved the Three Stooges as a kid, especially the horror episodes. They were all about physical comedy, hitting each other with wrenches and the like. The Marx Brothers I didn't really get into until later in life. In a way I didn't GET their humour. They were more about one liners and more sophisticated comedy--subtle ideas that kids just don't understand, or the the child-like minds of most adult movie goers, who prefer the junk they make today over classic Woody Allen.

The Marx brothers were also more subversive, more about ideas, while the Stooges were more in line with Warner Brother's cartoons.

Vaudeville was more obvious in the Marx Brothers comedy as well. The Stooges just wanted to be universally loved.

ol Shemp Howard
I think Shemp is the underrated Stooge. I love his wierd faces and his funny voice. That classic bit from "Sing a song of six pants" where the ironing board keeps fighting back is priceless!
He also had a small part in the Abottt & Costello movie "Africa Screams" where he was the Mr. Magoo-ish gunner.

ATC:

I laughed all through your post, but when I got to, "Why don't you do something to *help* me?" I nearly fell on the floor.

Omigod. The perfect schlemiel and schlamazel personified.

That'd be worth publishing.

Chuck

The Higher math of Stan & Ollie
*** IF *** I understand the question... I think Laurel & Hardy are much CLOSER to the Stooges than the Marx Brothers, in that the Marx Brothers incorporate two elements in their comedy, that of language play and overt sexuality (Christ, I've already sucked all the air out of the room) that Laurel and Hardy usually shied away from.

BUT -(and this is Better) - What they have in COMMON with the Marx Brothers is a spirit of genuine affection for one another - in that you can never imagine either walking out on the other one, no matter how bad things get.

In the Stooges (and Abbott and Costello) both of which I never enjoyed AS MUCH as the Marx Bros. or Laurel & Hardy there is an over-all meanspiritedness that I simply never enjoyed, even when the boys were on their game. You could almost see how tired of each other they were and you never cared what became of their characters.

With Laurel and Hardy you dearly wanted things to work out for them - and that was part of the very real magic.

In that way they get closer to Chaplain's Little Tramp and thus, much closer to Heaven.

Good morning!

- Barney Dannelke

Bestest mostest favoritest Stooges moment.

One of the shorts, a western. They're on the trail to a catch some rustlers. Crawling in the bushes. Looking for clues.

Together three heads come poking out of the bushes finding a coach trail.

At that moment the coach comes crazy mad careening around the curve and the wheels smush the heads down into the mud.

A pause. Then three heads rise up blinking the mud out of their eyes.

Curly looks down.

"Awwwwww...tracks!"

If you missed Harlan on WBAI . . .



Go to http://archive.wbai.org/
Look under the column heading "SHOW" for Niteshift
move to the right under the heading "ACTION" and press play
and then press the right facing black triangle.

Small notes about Laurel and Hardy
FACT (Here is where I do my Ivie Anderson impersonation): "If you take the interstate/you will find the quickest way to Harlem..." Georgia, where the Laurel and Hardy Museum lives.

I'm not a fan of Laurel and Hardy, mostly because they didn't show their films on TV in NY when I was a wee tot, however I do know three shows that reflect their influence:

The Dick Van Dyke Show - One show features a sketch in which Van Dyke does his Stan Laurel impersonation (which, as I recall, shaded his performance in the movie "The Comic"). Laurel himself was impressed by the young comic. He not only called him to congratulate him on his performance (and give him some notes), but he said that he would have lent Van Dyke one of his trademark hats had he contacted him before the show.

Seinfeld: I cannot argue a constant stream of influence, but I will admit, I looked closer when George and Jerry said, "Good night, Stan" and "Good night, Ollie" to each other in one show. This is akin to looking at Woody Allen's earlier films armed with the knowledge of his admiration of Bob Hope.

The Simpsons: Dan Castellaneta said that Homer's "D'oh" is his homage to Tommy Finlayson, who uttered this in any number of L&H films.

Brian Phillips

P.S. My Mother, who had a great sense of humor, was one of the poor blighters that didn't care for the Marxes or the Stooges, but she would always say that she thought that the Ritz Brothers were who she thought were funny. Apparently, "The Three Musketeers", with Don Ameche is on DVD and is preferable to "The Gorilla".

Excerpts From the Spanish Diary (by Woody Allen)
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/08/24/movies/24alle.html
"Crowds turn out in the streets to watch us work. Mercifully they realize I’ve no time to give autographs, and so they ask only the cast members. Later I handed out some 8-by-10 photos of myself shaking hands with Spiro Agnew and offered to sign them, but by then the crowd had dispersed."
Check it out.

stalepie: That story's not easy to obtain but thanks nonetheless.

Now we're talkin'!
I agree with everybody. These are all great suggestions for viewing and introducing to others. I love the Stooges as much as I love Citizen Kane--in different ways of course--but in terms of embracing cinema and finding worth, I give them equal space on the shelf. Laurel and Hardy are wonderful, and hopefully their day on definitive DVD is coming soon. Fields is great too, and I pop Never Give a Sucker an Even Break on when I feel the world is too serious. It's a surreal wonder. What a scary thing Dennis C. said, that the class did not know Cagney. I just watched White Heat on Sunday, and talk about a movie that delivers! Absolutely terrific from start to finish. Richard.

Marxes, Stooges, L&H
Hey, I love all three. I can see why some people might not be Stooge-Crazy (mostly women -- but I converted my wife by dragging her to the annual post-Thanksgiving Stooge Marathon at the Alex Theater here in Glendale -- she now admits the "Curley's cute", but just won't jump on the Shemp Bandwagon).

But I can't see why anyone wouldn't love those Marx Bros and Laurel and Hardy -- what's not to love? Comedy Perfection.

In a related vein, I do want to say that my friend who is a film teacher in Lincoln, Nebraska told me his class had no idea who Jimmy Cagney was. None, Zip, Zilch.
Once he showed them Cagney's work, they were blown away.

But people are not spending their days and nights watching TCM, sad to say.

If you ever want escape depression without the help of socialized medicine - thus knowing you've NO where to go! - that surest route is Stan & Ollie, particularly in:

OLIVER THE EIGHTH

BE BIG! (Few things I've ever seen anywhere in history were as funny as this moment when Oliver can't get a boot off, which was Stan's but had mistaken for HIS; he's laid out on the floor like a mountainous sack of potatoes, with Stan applying reverse leverage to yank off the fuckin' thing, but who then gets his OWN foot caught in Ollie's shirt, and proceeds to fall; the two now locked together rolling around on the floor trying to break loose, Stan is whimpering in all the futility and confusion. It was not a DIGNIFIED situation!)


CHICKENS COME HOME (With lots of sexual double entendre that probably pushed the codes of the time, something still possible in 1933. Take a look at what they do to Mae Busch in the final scenes!)

COUNTY HOSPITAL (Ollie abruptly gets suspended by his broken leg while convalescing in the hospital, with a li'l luvin' help from Stan, of course)

PACK UP YOUR TROUBLES

SONS OF THE DESERT

BLOCK-HEADS

They're life-savers. BELIEVE it! In 1970's, when I was growing up, these guys were ALL over tv. More than any other comics from that era. They'd fuckin' vanished for decades since. If it weren't for the dvd market it seems their great work would have joined the two in their own graves. They've a long way to go yet in a true revival, but I'm glad I found them. They're in my collection. WC Fields needs to be reintroduced to the masses as well.

BTW, there's some psychic waves a emulatin' there in the troposphere, because, by coinkidink, I was running a bunch of these on dvd just this last weekend!

Very weird.

The Ultimate Film.
Since we are heading in that general direction of "Greatest Hit".....

"The Music Box" is fantastic. "Sons of The Desert", well, words fail me. But, pound for pound, scene for scene, in this anonymous poster's ever humble and much studied opinion, the PERFECT L and H film, is, drum roll please, is 1933's short, "BUSY BODIES".

This film, is to L and H, what W.C Field's one PERFECT film, "It's A Gift" is to Great One's more widely known (fully deserved, mind you) Fieldisian classics,

Both films, for those keeping score, made the SAME year. One year, for those looking for connection, BEFORE Our Host made his public debut.

To refresh your memory, here, an excerpt:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTNBQPSCtWA

Here's one I just know you folks will shuttlecock for days'n'days, if past perfoermances are any foreshadowing:

We know that the Universe of Sentient Beings divides in twain as follows:

1) Those who are nuts for The Three Stooges

and

2) Those who are nuts for The Marx Brothers

and, yes, we KNOW there are some of you who embrace both...or neither (you poor things), but more often, as commonplace and as the touchstone, those who dig 1) hate 2) or vice versa, usually with a toss of curly locks and a disparaging, "I just never got'm, couldn't ever get INTO them."

But.

Laurel & Hardy.

Is there ANYone out there in the troposphere who can equate Stan and Ollie, pitting pie-chart segment against demographic increment, to place the duo on the "hot chart" of 1) and/or 2)?

Yr. Pal, Harlan

"why don't you do something to help me?"
ATC, great fun with the Laurel and Hardy sighting !, wonderful guys, the “FIDDLE AND THE BOW” as someone once called them, TMC just showed a whole day’s worth of there movies and shorts, it was heaven, its just to bad that many young people don’t know who they are anymore, it’s there loss I guess, but they will always be around to make us feel good.

MM, I did put in a short scene in one of my scripts with the L&H team, yes, they where delivering a large wooden box and I did have fun with them, some might call it an homage to the MUSIC BOX, but I just stole it outright, if your going to steal then do it from the best.

I’m not a religious man but if there somewhere and can hear me I just want to say a VERY BIG thanks and we miss you guys.

Gary

A laurel, and hearty handshake...

ATC - I read your post with a big grin on my face all the way through. The references to L&H in general and The Music Box in particular were right there and I caught them.

I considered posting same but was having a busy morning. Figured I'd do it later. Now I see that your delightful anecdote has, in a roundabout way, furrowed the brow of our good host.

Harlan, I suspect plenty of other folks got the joke and had a wonderful smile but didn't have the chance to say so.

Adam, not only did you brighten my day but, interestingly, there was just enough little details in your story that my mental picture of the guys was about the way you described in your follow-up post -- baseball caps and all. My experience reading I think may have ben close to your experience on the day: "These guys seem a bit like Laurel and Hardy" gradually becoming "These guys ARE Laurel and Hardy."

It would make a terrific scene in a feature comedy, I think. The main character is the apartment owner and at some point has to deal with these guys. Heaven only knows what the A line of the story is, but it sure would be a joy to see the scene realized spot-on perfectly, where the actors and the style are are just close enough to L&H, but ordinary enough, gritty enough that they also feel "real world" -- that the audience (and the main character) only gradually realizes what's happening.

You charmed me.

MM

Stan and Ollie
For me, it's gotta be Way Out West and Sons of the Desert.

I'm pretty sure I could come up with a few shorts as well, but I haven't had the pleasure of seeing any of those in at least a couple decades.

Direct answer to an indirect question.

Yes, even before ATC "clarified", it was completely obvious he was comparing the two movers to Abbott and Costello.

Last lines oops...
The last lines of the previous post are not the ones you're looking for...


S.

ATC -- I also prefer TIT FOR TAT, but I'll take any of the fine gentlemen I can get.

***

HARLAN ELLISON VS. CKSD (PART II ?)

Today was Young Jackanape's "Raider Rush" day, a half day of school where the new 7th graders (I'm too young for him to be that old!) met their teachers, picked up their schedules, had their school pictures taken, etc.. After a morning's vineyard worth of young vintage whine, I managed to get him set and out the door (he missed the bus, so I had to drive him, but no big deal). The rest of the morning passed without event.

Come 11 o'clock, I pack up my youngest and we go to pick up said child. He's bouncing and chatting with kids as I pull up to the curb, signs of an all around good day. I make a short stop at home before heading out to run errands, and the phone rings as I'm about to head out the door. It's a Mr. C. (name withheld to protect the supposed authority figure), one of the school counsellors at Ridgetop. It seems Young Jackanapes was told by his math teacher that positive behavior and homework were class expectations. When Young Jackanapes insisted he didn't like homework, the teacher insisted it would still need to be done (mind you, I'm getting this secondhand from the counsellor; I have no reason to think the teacher was inappropriate).

Young Jackanapes response? "Hey, you'd better be nice to me or Harlan Ellison's gonna come to the school and kick your butt."

*blink*

The counsellor wanted to know who Harlan Ellison was, and if Young Jackanapes frequently made threats of that nature. I decided that both laughing and swearing were bad ideas, so I explained who Harlan was, recommended a few books to read for an introduction, some of Young Jackanapes social issues, and why he may have felt that way. I agreed that Young Jackanapes shouldn't have made that exact comment (the counsellor wasn't happy that I didn't admit that my son was in the wrong), and I made it very clear that no one would be paying a visit. I also made it very clear that there would be NO disciplinary actions taken regarding this issue, and that I would be notified about any and all behavioral issues.

In the end, Mr. C. was very pleasant and everything was resolved in a positive manner.

Um...Harlan...if you get a call from a twelve year old, ask him if his mom knows he's calling. And then ask to speak with her, 'k?

Thanks.


shagin


We make a short stop at home before heading out to run errands, including shopping for school supplies. I asked him about his day, the whos, whats, wheres, things like that. It sounds like

Dear Adam-Troy,
Thank you for the submitted story. I was grinning at first scene and my smile got wider and wider until it met around the back and the top half of my head came off.
I also seem to have permanent muscle lock in my jaws.
Thank you so very much. We will be publishing it in next month's edition of Fashionable Reminiscences of Olde Tyme Stereotypes.
Your mailman doesn't happen to look like W.C. Fields by any chance does he? We need a filler for the Summer Special.
Ed.

Well, A-T.C....
...This is ANOTHER nice post you've gotten us into!

And speaking of Ray Bradbury. maybe someone could show this to him? He's mad about the boys!

Adam-Troy--

THANK YOU for that story! I'm a teacher (by day) and started school today and I NEEDED the laugh. I'm only sorry that I didn't get to see the full day of Stan and Ollie that was shown this Saturday on Turner Classic Movies.

Take care,
Bill

Ray
A belated splendid 88th for the great Ray Bradbury

Clarification
In answer to a direct question,

1) The resonances to my 100% TRUE EXPERIENCE -- which some in the past have mistaken for a bit of magical realism on my part -- were indeed to Stan and Ollie in general and to their one Oscar-winning short subject, THE MUSIC BOX, in particular. (Many consider that their best work on screen, but I'm partial to TOWED IN A HOLE and TIT FOR TAT, among others.) In truth, the pair only vaguely physically resembled the famous duo in terms of appearance; they were scruffier, and in the case of the Laurelesque skinny guy missing several teeth, but I did silently note the vague resonance even before they flummoxed me by replaying many of the character beats of a typical Laurel and Hardy outing. It was while they were moving the heavy items up those stairs that the resemblance became downright spooky, and every subsequent detail -- "Hardy" insisting on passing a threshold first, for instance -- only served to cement it. Their hats were not bowlers, but baseball caps. But "Laurel" did wear the idiot smile of his screen counterpart, "Hardy" did constantly pepper me with exasperated looks, they did perform a number of tasks in the most difficult manner possible, and mishaps, always affecting the fat guy, abounded. About all I didn't get was the tie-twiddle, the skinny guy sobbing in apology, and the fat guy stepping into a bottomless puddle. It was surreal indeed, and I wondered how many other customers they delivered furniture to noted the same. (Maybe not many; it was about five years ago that the Universal Theme Parks removed the street performers who played Laurel and Hardy, on the grounds that damned few visitors knew who they were supposed to be. And, as Harlan sadly guesses, I have told this tale to any number of folks who failed to connect the dots, though those who do have a habit of jumping up and down with delight (or shaking their heads in disbelief) as I throw in every unbelievable detail. By and large, the folks who get it stare in disbelief at those who don't.

2) I am just damned lucky they didn't send the Three Stooges.

WBAI
This appears to be the link to hear WBAI live over the net.

http://stream.wbai.org/

I had this article from USA Today forwarded on to me from a buddy with a note saying: "don't tell me we have progressed since "The Whimper of Whipped Dogs" was written"

http://blogs.usatoday.com/ondeadline/2008/08/neighbor-says-t.html

Sad to say, but there are definite parallels to the Kitty Genovese tragedy

Harlan, I will confess my own ignorance. While I enjoyed Adam-Troy's hilarious story about the movers, I am uncertain as to the historical original to which you refer (an old Laurel and Hardy routine, perhaps?). Would it be possible for you or Adam-Troy to clarify the reference?

Sheepishly yours,

Mark

"Brian, did you understand what the nice Mr. Castro was saying in his story?"

"I certainly did."

I know not what this "FM radio" might be, but http://www.wbai.org/ has a "Listen Live" feature.

ASIDE TO ADAM-TROY

Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me I'm being stupidly elitist. Tell me I'm misreading several of the comments here by regulars, some of whom are friends. Tell me they DO understand and know the core unbelievable hilarious historical original by which all of this fatman-thinman interplay is to die for. Tell me I'm being snobbish and patronizing. Fergawdsake, A-T,

TELL ME!!

All (or none) of the preceding, Yr. Pal, Harlan

----------------------------------------------------------------
A LISTENING NOTE, for anyone who gives a shit:

Tonight, at MIDNIGHT on the East Coast, 9 PM here in LA, and assorted other times in between 9-12 in YOUR AREA, if your FM radio can pick up WBAI out of New York City (sorry, don't know the dial number), I will be interviewed on "Night Shift" by Mike Sargent. I presume he'll want to talk about DREAMS, Erik; or perhaps MASTERS OF SF. After intro, et al, I'll appear in voice only, live, be the first in your neighborhood, at circa 9:15 pm, LA time, 12:15 NY time, and somewhere in between that time if you live in Kehoe or Kankakee or Kuala Lumpur.

Till that time, I remain, Yr. Pal, Harlan

REPLY TO LORI KOONCE

No harm, no foul, Lori. We're cool, Koonce. If I seemed upset, that would be to put too strong a connotation on my pique which was, at worst, only weariness from covering this ground a thousand times with people equally as well-meaning as you. Put it all out of your head, sweetie; we have no rift.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

Rick,
Sorry you checked in and found this place in the midst of a storm. We appreciate all you do here, unfortunately including having to occasionally pick up the steel ruler.
I hope that who/whatever caused your last week to be fucked has:
(check all boxes that apply)
Rotted and fallen off
Been brought to justice
Learned that you are a swell guy and deserve better
Been fixed with a shot of penicillin
Been fixed with a shot to the head
Been made right in general
Started to fade from memory

Here's hoping this week is better. Now go downtown to that fancy new park (whatever they call it) and slap those boys around and tell them 8 games back just ain't cuttin' it!

(Hmm. The first Monday where it's readily apparent a lot of other people are working and I'm not. "Pff!" -- he wrote dismissively -- "Just gives me more time to do stuff 'I' wanna do")
_________________________________

ATC - Wonderful recounting. Seriously, this ought to be a subplot of a series or movie somewhere (not the main story, just a running sub-plot). Then again, having suggested that publicly, if it ever appears in a Herzog film, we know where to find Erik.
_________________________________

I know it's human nature to ask questions such as "Why wasn't so-and-so interviewed?" and "Why didn't they include blah, blah?", but whenever I read such things in a review (and absolutely no disrespect to Mr. Van Gelder. As he notes, his is less a review and more a commentary) I am left to wonder whether the reviewers expect the filmmakers to list caveats such as "We couldn't find Blah, blah, and so-and-so refused to be interviewed for the film" in the credits.

Just saying. It's entirely legitimate to ask the question, I guess, but the doing so is second guessing not just a filmmaker's rationale for such decisions, but also possibly the unavoidable reasons for it.

(I remember a director at USC screening a short "filler" documentary he made about actor Richard Burton. In the Q&A a student -- who obviously didn't know Burton from Taylor -- lamented the lack of any "new" interview with the actor. The filmmaker pointed out that since, at that time, the actor had been dead for a year, the interview would "likely have been a bit one-sided".)
__________________________________

Pardon me. I'm still giggling about the moving men putting the boxes back in the truck to unload the furniture first, and then taking the boxes numerically into the apt.
__________________________________

I am a "WASP", even though the "P" is largely silent in my life. But I won't be a "WAS". And I am not Germanic -- not that there's anything WRONG with that.

I have a bit of Indi...er, Native American blood in my family, so maybe I'm better described as "WASP+", though that now sounds like a garden pest product.

In any respect, looking through History, it seems my ethnic group hasn't always acted with the best of intentions. Add to that the demonstrable fact I am male adds even that much more to the Historic Toll.

Bad me. Bad me.


I wonder what's on Oprah today?

So Sorry
Hey Unca Harlan

First of all, if the worst thing that happens to me is you misspelling my name, then I've got a very charmed life ahead of me!

Secondlly, I didn't mean to upset you and am very sorry if I did. It's just so easy to make snap judgments about people, especially in a place like this.

I realize that I didn't have some rather important information, and was just trying to get it before I did make that judgment. And, in my opinion, it's always best to get information from credible sources. If you have a chance to ask a person something, then do has always been my motto.

Anyway, once again I'm sorry.

(visual of a rather plump woman trying to pull a sneaker clad foot out of her mouth)

Lori

Verrry interesting . . . but shtoopid (to quote Arte Johnson)
Harlan---

My comments about DREAMS W/ SHARP TEETH are online here: http://www.sfsite.com/fsf/2008/gvg0809.htm

I'm not sure I'd even call them a review. Since I'm in the film long enough to be recognized, I don't feel it would be appropriate for me to review it.

But yes, I did give my reactions to the film and yes, I'm completely guilty of mentioning things I would have liked to see, instead of limiting myself just to what was on the screen. I liked what I saw. I wanted more.

I also want the movie to get wide release. Is that going to happen soon?

---Gordon V.G.

They Actually Exist.
Dear Adam --

Best. Post. Ever.

You know, you should take up this writing thing for a living.

Best,
Erik Nelson

Matthew, eat your mayonaise sandwich and be still.

Ham and eggs, that's what you need.

-------------

The funny thing about that Corsi book is how he tries to link Obama to radical causes and people. One such person Obama admires is Malcolm X. This is Corsi's casus belli. Since Malcolm pretty much was a big part of black liberation.

I guess Corsi didn't catch the end credits of the movie X, where you see video montages of differing black celebrity types sporting X hats:

You see Michael Jordan, Magic Johnson, Bill fucking Cosby, Janet Jackson all wearing hats, smiling at the camera. So does that mean that Cosby is a radical who hates America?

Oprah Winfrey helped fund the film as well. The most mainstream black woman in America. Is she also a secret black liberation crazy?

The right wing are fun to laugh at but hard to take.

Gawsh
Hi Harlan, and er... words fail... The highest praise, many thanks. I'm sure you know the feeling is mutual.

I'm sure you also know that one of the pleasures of creating anything that you then launch into the world is seeing it occasionally reach a person you admired and respected from way back, someone whose example helped urge you to do your very best in the first place. The "way back" with me would include having my teenage brain seared by 'I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream' which--unbelievably--was hiding in the school library inside some sf anthology whose title I forget. (A Gollancz book? I recall a yellow jacket.) It was thrilling to discover other short stories after that, then the 'Dangerous Visions' books, the 'Edge in My Voice' columns and so on. Strangest thing for me today is not only being able to enter this kind of correspondence but also having mutual friends in Michael and Linda Moorcock. This last I never expected.

Haunter was printed b&w inside for reason of budget as I expect you can imagine. Small publishers, limited finance, etc. I don't mind that, nearly everything which influenced the book was b&w as well. I'll be sure to pass on your words to Alan Moore next time we speak. He shuns the internet but I know he's read tons of your work. Furthermore, his Afterword to the book edition of V for Vendetta features a list of story influences that includes 'Repent, Harlequin...', 'Catman' and 'Prowler in the City at the Edge of the World'.

Regarding pronunciation of the Coulthart surname, you have two choices. The name is Scots (as is my father) and in Scotland it's always pronounced Coolt-hart (hard tee, the aitch sounded). However, this seems to be easier for people with Scots accents than those without, the latter having to deal with that awkward pause in the middle. My sisters and I, who all have northern English accents, use Cool-thart which I prefer despite its technical inaccuracy. Generations of ancestors are whirling like tops, I'm sure. Mike Moorcock worked what must be the best variation in terms of flattery when he once signed a book to "Johnny Cool Art".

Thanks again.

If it is not presumptuous of me let me echo our Gracious Host's praise of the work of John Coulthart and add that he has a wonderful website that not only invites us to consider his own work but contains an online journal which includes links to other wonderful artists and writers and presents us with opportunities to explore many eldritch & blasphemous byways of the nameless & dreaded internet.

Go here

www.johncoulthart.com/feuilleton/

They Actually Exist!
I had occasion to share the following reminiscence in my own newsgroup, elsewhere; I cc it here because I believe folks here might find it of equal amusement value. Forgive me for going on at excessive length, but I feel this story is worth it.

The following is a true story. It is not exaggerated, not wishful thinking, not a clever writer making up crap to amuse folks on line. I have been telling the tale since 1995 when it happened, and the particulars have not changed. I have even written it before, as an internet post, though never in the detail I provide below. I am committing it to paper (or, if on the internet, electrons) because I recently had occasion to recount the story, and it occurred to me that I really do need to get a polished version of it down for posterity. (I might someday write it again, in a version for actual publication, but as sometimes happens with personal anecdotes, I have not figured out the best possible context yet.)

In any event, I am not kidding. This is true.

And I call it, “They Actually Exist.”

Here’s the background. In 1995 the company I worked for decided to move its main corporate office from Larchmont NY, to Boca Raton, Florida. I was one of the employees offered an opportunity to move with it. I was highly dubious about the move, but circumstances made keeping the job a better option than staying in New York, so I agreed to go, finding an apartment and arranging for my belongings to be shipped with a professional moving company. I drove everything I could carry in my small car down with me, and as expected spent ten nights sleeping on an air mattress while I waited for my things to arrive.

On the day the truck arrived, I took the afternoon off so I could meet the moving men, who I had never met, at my apartment in Fort Lauderdale.

The first thing that happened is that the truck got lost and arrived three hours late. (They had actually been following me to the apartment, but got separated from me and kept going.) The driver had to call me three times during those three hours to get directions – at one point reporting a current location some forty-five minutes farther away than his twenty during the previous call – but they ultimately zeroed in on the correct location, and I ran down to the apartment complex parking lot to meet the two guys with the truck.

I must now describe the two guys with the truck. I warn you, I expect almost everybody reading this story to hit their epiphany moment and exclaim, "Okay, NOW he's just bullshitting!" The most perceptive among you might cross that threshold with their mere description. I can't help it. THIS IS, AGAIN, 100% TRUE.

The men were both clad in overalls. The shirts underneath were neat button-downs, and they were wearing thin black ties.

The driver was a roundish guy on the wrong side of two hundred and fifty pounds. He wore a hat and had a little moustache. He was tremendously exasperated over having been lost for so long, a circumstance he blamed on his assistant, who he said had been reading the map wrong. He did say, however, that he would now make sure my furniture and the boxes were moved into my apartment with a minimum of fuss. He asked if the apartment was on the ground floor. I told him no, it was on the second floor, up a flight of exterior stairs. He rolled his eyes with exasperation. “Well, I’m sorry,” I said, “It is.” He grunted and gave his co-worker a nod.

His co-worker was his physical opposite: a very thin man with protruding ears and a broad, amiable smile, charming in its genuineness but simple-minded in affect. He may have been borderline retarded. I liked him at once, without speaking a word to him.

The two men went to the back of the truck and rolled up the gate, revealing an expanse of boxes and padded furniture. (Not just mine; they were also delivering items to a number of other people.) The fat man ordered the thin man to get up there and start handing him boxes. This, the thin man did. He moved so
industriously, in fact, that he handed the boxes to the fat man faster than the fat man could put them down. At point he put one heavy box on top of another heavy box that the fat man was already holding, almost causing the fat man to fall over. The fat man let out a pained “Whoufff!” and almost fell over. The thin man apologized.

I said, “Wouldn’t it be easier to take the big furniture items first, so you won’t have to maneuver them around boxes already in the apartment?”

The thin man and fat man looked at each other. This was a great idea.

They spent the next several minutes putting boxes back in the truck. They actually did this.

Now the two started carrying furniture out from the parking lot, through a doorway, into the wing of the complex that contained my empty apartment.

They saw the stairway, six risers leading to a bend leading to another six risers, up to the second floor walkway where my apartment sat. It was going to be hard to maneuver some of the bigger pieces, including a combined cabinet and bookcase, up that obstacle course, but it had to be done. The fat man said to the skinny one, “You pull and I push.”

The thin man struggled mightily with his burden. The effort this took was so hard on him that his legs wobbled dangerously, slipping against the risers as he struggled for purchase. It's worth noting tht his amiable smile, the eye contact with me as he shared that unwavering amiable smile, never left him.

At the landing, the cabinet/bookcase got wedged against the railing, and would not go any further. The fat man said that he needed to get in front of it, so he could guide its movement past the bend. He could not manuever himself around it. “Bring it back down!” he ordered. The thin man started to comply. I told the fat man, “Excuse me, this silly – why don’t you just go up the other stairway on the other side of the building, come down, and and meet him here?”

The fat man took this as a capital idea. He went around the building. Simultaneously, the thin man managed to get past my cabinet by climbing over the railing and descending via the edge of the stairs.

The fat man arrived, did a double-take when he saw that the thin man had somehow gotten around my furniture, and gave me another exasperated look, a look that communicated, again, the message “See what I have to deal with?”

The pair managed to get the big item up the stairs with only two or three minor mishaps, each of them involving minor physical injury to the fat man. This involved the cabinet being dropped on the fat man’s foot, the cabinet jamming the fat man’s hand against a wall, the cabinet crushing the fat man against the railing. Each time the fat man let out a horrified yelp and each time the skinny man apologized.

They reached the second floor railing, breathing heavily from all the effort. I asked the two men if they’d like some water before they continued. They both allowed as how it had been a long drive and how they would like to use my bathroom. I opened the door for them. The skinny man started to enter. The fat man stopped him by blocking his way with his arm, pointed at his own chest to establish that he took precedence, and preceded his junior partner through the door.

Would you believe me if I told you that he tripped on the molding where the tile of the entranceway became the carpeted living room? He did not quite fall over, but he did lose his dignity.

The pair did their bathroom business, brought the cabinet into my bedroom at the cost of several additional physical insults to the fat man, and at least one spat where the fat man cried out, “Why don’t you do something to HELP me?”

The skinny man went back to the truck and returned with the frame supports of my bed. He said, “Where do you want this, mister?” I’m afraid I stared at him for a moment. This was a two-room, one bedroom apartment, essentially a living room with kitchenette and a bedroom. An idiot could surmise where the
bed would go in such a space. I said, “The bedroom.” He took the frame into the bedroom. A few minutes later he returned from the truck with the mattress and asked me, “What about this?” In case I wanted it somewhere other than the frame. The fat man rolled his eyes again. I said, “On the bed frame.”
The skinny man brought my mattress into the bedroom.

With all the furniture moved, it was now time to get those boxes. A word about how I labeled my boxes. There were 28 boxes. I wanted to make sure that none were missed, so I wrote on each one of them with thick magic marker, in letters several inches tall. They were all labeled something like, CASTRO BOX 1 OF 28. Or 2 of 28. Or 3 of 28. Etcetera. You get the idea. The skinny man asked me, “How many boxes do you have?” Again I stared, and said, “28.” The fat man rolled his eyes yet again. The thin man went and started getting the boxes, one at a time, in order, actually shifting them in the pile on the truck so he could deliver them numerically.

I will note again, for the record, that his big broad smile – never showing teeth, but still an upward curve of his lips – remained on his face during all 28 box trips, none of which the fat guy participated in. (He was pretty well exhausted by now.)

There were no further disasters as the rest of my items entered the apartment. I signed for the delivery and tipped the men in cash. The skinny guy reached for the money, but the fat guy pushed him aside and took it all. I thanked them.

The fat guy said, “Service with a smile.” He actually said that. By now I wasn't surprised. I'd reached that epiphany, you see.

The skinny guy smiled at me again as the pair went down the stairs. For the first time, he took off his own hat and scratched his head. His hair was, I must report, short on the sides but had a tendency to stand upright on top when the hat was removed. It was, I swear to God, bright orange red.

I locked the door and, feeling like a man in a dream, followed them to the parking lot, standing there as they drove away.

The first thing I said when they were safely out of sight was an awestruck, “My God, They ACTUALLY EXIST..."

US Visit
I maybe coming to the US from 9th-20th September and will be spending some time in New York and maybe a couple of days in Los Angeles and some other places depending on whose there and what's happening. It's basically a visit to clear my brain pan out, relax, catch up and reaquaint myself with the place.

If anyone has a spare couch, bedroom, mistress that they can loan me during my visiting period, it would be appreciated. Drop me a line at faq at lavabit dot com.

Best.

FAQ

Jutes

KOS: The Jutes of Jutland (modern Amsterdam) settled in Kent and on the Isle of Wight, and I suppose there may be a few people in those regions who still claim descendency.

But Anglo-Saxon has become such a generic term for so many English that I wonder if you could call a modern Jute who settled in at least one of those regions a a "Wight Anglo-Saxon Protestant."

Steve Dooner

Tom Galloway _You'll Never Know If You Don't Ask!

. . .And while I probably still have enough connections to get Harlan an invite (let's just say Mark Evanier speaking isn't a shock to me...), I've not previously brought it up since the program doesn't pay honoraria. Yes, I can argue both sides of why that's appropriate or not, but knowing Harlan's position on being paid for talks and the like, I figured he wouldn't be interested. . . .


Tom,
You may be right, but H.E. will definitely NOT do it if he isn't asked. Harlan may well have his own reasons for doing the talk. His ways are mysterious and cannot be predicated by mere mortals. I beseech thee, offer him the option, but avert your eyes lest his mighty gaze burn you to the core of your being!

Best,
Shane

Necco Wafers, Etc.
I haven't logged on for two weeks. Wow.

Anyway, found Necco Wafers at the local Dash-In. Sadly, not the chocolate ones.

But there's always hope.

Ich bin ein WASP!
It appears that "The Mysterious Traveler" had a one issue run as a comic book, and that one issue featured, in a cover blurb, "Five Miles Down".

Details: 1948 Vol.1, Number 1 of Mysterious Traveler Comics, published by Trans-World Publications

You can see the cover and read a bit upon it here:

http://www.threeinvestigatorsbooks.com/MysteriousTravelerRadio.html

That same website also gives a bit of history on the show and its' creators: Robert Arthur and David Kogan.

Anglo-Saxon Germans:


Well, the Angles, Saxons and Jutes did sort of come from Germany when they moved to Britain. That whole Jutland North German Plain confused sort of area. I guess the Jutes got euchred out of the name thing, or it was just too much to always be saying Anglo-Saxon-Jute, or maybe it was not PC because everyone thought they were saying Anglo-Saxon "Jew"?

And anyway, isn't "jute" that stuff out of which is made those ropy floor mats you can get at Pier One Imports or some such place? Did the Jutes get lost on the way to Britain and wind up somewhere weaving floor mats, casting aside their barbarian ways to become gentle mat makers?

Maybe the Angles and Saxons got together, and pulled a fast one, givng the Jutes a fake map so as to "ditch" them and have all of Britain to themselves once they arrived in Albion and kicked some Celtic butt? Sounds like a Howard Waldrop story...

Anyway, yeah, sad to say but Merry Olde England has a lot of German in it.

Worse yet, the good old USA is more German than that. Not only is about a third of us descended from Germans, but we modeled our schools on the Prussian system (Horace Mann got us that), we also designed our Army after the Prussian one (one reason our army never does get along with Englands' when we try to fight wars on the same side; wildly different attitudes and theories),

It gets better: we got most all our rockets from the Germans. No Wernher von Braun and you got no "The Eagle Has Landed!"

Jet planes? Pretty much. A-Bombs? Plenty of Germans got mixed up there. Good Old Klaus Fuchs not only helped us get it, he helped the Russians get it too! Those helpful Germans!

Christmas trees? German. They were unnknown in England until Victoria married a German and he insisted on having one, and the custom caught on there. It was already here.

Yeah, sorry to say, all us WASPs are really just a bunch of Self-Hating Germans.

Not to mention that English is sort of a dumbed down Deutsch, with a bunch of French words thrown in (because ANOTHER tribe of Northmen took residence in France for a few years, then moved to Britain and made everyone learn a little French. Those damn Nordic Barbarians just cannot leave well enough alone!)

At least English dropped the Latin grammar German still has. Don't ask.

There's a group of islands in the North Sea called the "Frisians", I once heard some people speak the Frisian dialect/language (?) and damned if it didn't sound exactly like a half-breed of Olde English and German. Hey, maybe that's where the Jutes wound up?

Tomorrow: The Lost Tribes Of Israel, episode twenty-five of Amazingly Lame Ethnic Tales. Collect Them All!

KOS

Matthew, Matthew ... sweetie ... pal of my cradle years ...

Take it easy, kid. Calm down. Shhhh, there's a good boy ...

I'm sure no harm was meant. I HAVE ALWAYS thought WASP was an acronym for "Wonderful and Sagacious Person."

I'm SURE that was what Frank meant. Frank is a fine man and some of hisbest friends are WASPS: his mother, his father, himself.

See?! Now doesn't that--and my soothing tone--make it all better?

Yrs. with Endusring Affection, Yr. Pal, Harlan

A TIP'O'THE HAT TO JOHN COULTHART

This is shamefully late, but since it wasn't expected, I am the only one who truly knows I should've done this months ago.

You've popped in with some regularity and, of course, I made the connection between the Webderland visitor and the artist I'd praised in the big, new Lovecraft art volume.

But I never took a moment just to smile at you and say that I am quite an aficcionado of your work. What has prompted me to get off my old rustydusty to tap out these few words, is a chance recrossing of my eyeballs with THE HAUNTER OF THE DARK, a strange, eerie, wholly charming b&w trade paperback with your "visions" oozing out from every page, and some swell writing by Alan Moore as lagniappe. Particularly taken am I, by the Great Old Ones section, which I hadn't seen anywhere else.

Had I even a scintilla of carp, it would be that I can only imagine how breathtaking would be those cthonic plates in hues of frost-blue, beefsteak crimson, and ichor yellow. I won't even MENTION green.

So there I was today, cutting and trimming a Mylar acetate dust jacket for your book, so I could properly shelve it and, half an hour later, still standing there in the workroom (actually, the laundry room where I have the cutting board set up), I realized you'd ensorceled me a second time since I bought the volume a couple of years ago.

Thank you for coming here to comment, thank you for your kindness, and thank you eversomuch for the soaring weirdness of your inner eye.

(A question. Actually, a dopey question.

(I know your name, of course, but I've never actually heard anyone speak it aloud; and hence, I think I am mispronouncing it. Could you set me aurally to the correct "cool heart"?)

Yr. Pal, Harlan

German = Anglo-Saxon?

You learn something new everyday.

Goddammit would you guys stop using the word WASP? It is derogatory and racist! A wasp is an unwanted creature that is normally KILLED on sight. It is like VERMIN! Nobody wants to be likened to a wasp, just as they don't want to be likened to vermin. A bee is preferable! I got stung by lots of bees as a kid and got ALLERGIC, yet it is still preferable to a wasp, because a wasp's sting hurts worse! I don't want to be called a bee or a wasp. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/White_Anglo-Saxon_Protestant#Criticism Most Jews are genetically related to WASPS rather closely and all this race-consciousness crap anyway gets on my NERVES!! It was "wasps" who saved the Jews during WWII and it was "wasps" who killed the Jews as well during WWII, since the Germans were wasps! And yet the Jews were ALSO wasps because a wasp is someone with Germanic heritage.

Stupid ass motherfuckers

Sooo...

How about them Olympics? Have you noticed there aren't a lot of Chinese athletes nicknamed "Rusty"?

(Yes, stolen from Carlin.)

Aside to the person who called me yesterday asking where the Oppenheimer Thread was, now I understand. Sorry if I was flippant.

Moving on.

Keith Cramer is close to finalizing the October DWST showing in the DC area. Details in the forums under GENERAL.

If you're still in the mood to scrap, we've got quite the debate going on Copyright Protection, also in the GENERAL section under "In Addition to My Latest..."

It's a beautiful day outside, the sun is shining brightly, the temperature hovering around 70 degrees. Birds are chirping, flowers blooming and Disney has lined a whole chorus of singing Snow Whites to serenade Frank Church.

Yours very shallowly...

Sparky Barber, co-birthmother to the new Graphic Story Hugo Award.

OTR for Harlan
Hi,

The episode you're talking about was from 02/09/47 and is episode # 90. According to the Sperdvac catalog, they only seem to have it available as "Printed Matter," which I am assuming is just the story as it appeared in the magazine. I have asked the head of the OTRR if he knows anything about it and am waiting for his reply.

Junior-grade flying blue monkey on the case.

Take care,
Tony Adams

Wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Rick is mad at me, Harlan loves me, what to do?

Rich, I usually have no problems with. I just don't like the charactor assassination. If I was such a dummy, Harlan would have said the words to me--point blank. Sure, he thinks I am weird--pot calling the kettle black.

Stenty boy.

Blooms of love and flowers for the Ellison household.

Susan, no need to be camera shy. You are one sexy dame. Growwwwwwwl.

-----------------

Rick, sorry if I caused a mini-riot, but you can be hard on me as well.

We do thank you for our little forum. Grope and kiss for our little sexy moderator.

Can't we all just get along?

--------------

I am and will always be a self hating WASP.

Thank God.

PLEASE PAY ATTENTION
THERE WILL BE NO MORE CENSURING, INSULTING, AND/OR PILING ON REGARDING RICH IN THE PAVILION. ANY FURTHER POSTS CONTAINING SUCH WILL BE DELETED REGARDLESS OF WHATEVER OTHER CONTENT THEY CONTAIN AND WILL BE CONSIDERED GROUNDS FOR BANNING.

This is done for several reasons:
- Rich is, by Harlan's wishes, banned from the Pavilion. He can thus not respond to anything said about him here. I do not think any reasonable man would say there has not already been an adequate response to his post here. It is unquestionably unfair to give a chap a shot in the chops, the gut, or the pills when he is unable to defend himself.

- Harlan quite obviously has made his statement on this matter and does not care for it to go any further. It is unlikely anyone else hitting the chum is going to receive his approbation.

- Rich's criticism of the lack of peer comment and review in DREAMS WITH SHARP TEETH is a valid one. It is one that I made myself, to Harlan, shortly after seeing the film. It was a choice made by Erik Nelson - I imagine both because of the tenor of the piece based on the people he had available to participate and because of the difficulty of getting certain OTHER people to participate. It is neither stupid nor polemic for Rich to mention this, nor does it deserve the ridicule it is receiving here. Neither Harlan nor Erik has suggested the film is beyond reproach or criticism.

- There is a sycophantic air to some of the comments which I find every bit as distasteful as anything Rich has said. When someone does something shitty here, I wince not only because of that but because my mind's eye can already see the Disneylandesque queue of white knights lining up to take their stab at the gecko-sized dragon.

- I am on vacation this weekend. I have had a FUCK of a week before going on vacation. I went on vacation BECAUSE I have had a FUCK of a week. If you make THIS WEEK a FUCK OF A WEEK, it is not going to go well for you or this site. This is not a threat, this is a statement of my own limitations.

You have been warned. You are welcome to continue discussing the film. You are welcome to continue pondering Ellison the writer vs. Ellison the cult of personality. You are welcome to continue proclaiming your love for Harlan and the impact he has had on your life.

You are even welcome to mull over the comments Rich has made - as long as you restrict yourself to those comments and leave mention of him, his parentage, his sexual proclivities, and the functionality and contents of his brain, OUT OF IT.

I hope I am clear here. I thought I was clear before, when I asked that you all assume I had already done what I just now had to do and spared me the effort on a weeken