Unca Harlan's Art Deco Dining Pavilion

Archive - 11/23/2006 to 02/02/2007

Unca Harlan's Art Deco Dining Pavilion

Another Satisfied Customer
I'm a longtime reader of HE, and a first time poster to this forum.

I grew up reading Harlan's books as a teenager a fundamentalist small town in the deep south in the 70s and it's not hyperbole to say they opened my eyes to the larger world and changed my life. I got introduced to SF through Star Trek (don't groan Harlan, I was only 10) and was curious enough to check out works by Ted Sturgeon and Harlan who had scripted for the show. As someone whose paperback diet had previously consisted of mostly Heinlein and Asimov, Harlan's stuff was another kettle of fish entirely. Deathbird Stories was the crux of a new phase in my reading life, and Harlan's profusive intros and essays turned me on to numerous other masters including Borges, Sam Delany and R.A. Lafferty.

I just have one word for you Harlan: Thanks.

Cheers,

J. Herzog

Oh Please
W. is a loser to the max., but blaming him for Milly Ivin's death is so over the top silly I can barely restrain my laughter.

If her cancer was caused by something in the environment, the original "insult" and genetic damage would have had to have been over a decade ago. Let's get real.

This sort of paranoia is never helpful. Bush is a disaster as a president, but blaming him for everything you hate is just silly. No man is that powerful. "Even the President of the United States must sometimes stand naked."

As for global warming causing the northern hemisphere to enter an ice age, well maybe...or maybe we're just gonna enter an ice age. I don't know, and the wonks that claim to know don't really know either. Nobody knows nothing, and a butterfly's fart in Kyoto can cause a tornado in Peoria.

The earth is getting warmer, so we ought to be trying to cool it down. One engineer has proposed putting lightweight Mylar mirrors into Geo-stationary orbit to reflect about 1 per cent of the suns light away from the earth. That would apparently compensate for the warming trend. By maneuvering the mirror, you can fine-tune the earth's climate while we get a handle on the greenhouse gases.

So why aren't we doing this, or at least considering it?

Maybe solving the problem by technology doesn't interest those who want to change our society tot heir own liking?

Just me, thinking my contrarian thoughts.

Don't bother attacking me, I won't argue. You might be right. I might be right.

KOS

Molly Ivins
"This country no longer works for the benefit of most of the people in it."

--Molly Ivins, "Bushwhacked"

Truer words...

Molly Ivins was only 62 years old, people, do you know how devastated I am today? In a way W killed her, because the environment is largely the cause of much cancer rates, here and elsewhere. She was an angel, a caustic saint, W is gonna pay some day, some day.

God bless her, God bless the poison pen and the acid tongue. I will miss her. The Nation is doing its part to give back to this legend:

http://www.thenation.com/doc/20070219/molly_ivins

Of course, the mainstream media is mostly avoiding even mentioning her name.

----------

Harlan, lay off of Roeper, he is getting better. He is slowly improving his skills. They need a guest critic, how about you mon ami?

I miss Scott Reeston. Wahhh.

Chuck, be grateful that you don't live near Omsk!

Russia probes smelly orange snow

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/6323611.stm

species suicide

:: "So much for global warming, huh?!?!"

I hope that's just a joke. Current weather patterns may well be entirely in keeping with global warming. Some models suggest the north Atlantic and European nations will experience a long, hard, and enduring freeze as a result of the greenhouse effect.

Of course, the human species will likely be long extinct due to population pressures, pollution, and resulting violence before that happens. . . .

Raising Hand
Steve,

Thanks for wondering. No, from what I understand the tornadoes were much farther up the East coast. We had a quiet night.

ATC

v.jory
rob-if you want to see victor jory in an unusual role, check out the 1935 midsummer's night dream where he plays oberon. it also is olivia dehavilland's first role and she is so beautiful she'll make your eyes change color. jimmy cagney is great as bottom and mickey rooney's puck is a performance that has to be seen to be believed. as far as molly ivins, barney is right in criticizing my linkage of her nader vote and the deaths in the war, but her vote for nader helped w get elected. listen, in 1968 the left saw no difference between nixon and humphrey. well, maybe if you're looking from an ideological vantage point akin to the red guard that's true but to say they're the same is empirically false. to see no difference between gore and bush or not to see how close 2000 was going to be and to vote for nader on that basis angered me then and now. many folks voted for nader because the admired him or thought he'd make a good president and i have no quarrel there but if half the 2000000 nader votes had gone to gore maybe gore would have carried another state or that at the very least the media would not have stuck to the "this is boring, let's move on" attitude. ok, it's out of my system, i feel better and i remain, as always, obediently yours

Starbuck's Memories, Part Two

SBUX: (Singsong female voice) "Good morning, welcome to Starbuck's, my name is Jenny. What may I get started for you today?'

SB: "Good morning. I'd like a large ... um, 'venti' coffee with three packets of Equal and non-fat milk please. And leave a little bit of room for splashing."

SBUX: "So you'd like a venti coffee with four Equal...?"

SB: "Three. Three Equal."

SBUX: "Three Equal. And cream."

SB: "No, not cream, nonfat milk."

SBUX: "Okay, venti coffee with three Equal, and nonfat milk."

SB: "Yes, and leave some splash room at the top."

SBUX: "Excuse me?"

SB: "Leave some room at the top for splashing."

SBUX: "Leave room at the top?"

SB: "Yes. So it doesn't splash."

SBUX: (giggling) "Okay, so a venti coffee, three Equal, nonfat milk with room at the top for splashing."

SB: "Yes, exactly."

SBUX: "Okay, please drive through."

(Cut to moments later at the window)

SBUX: "Okay, venti coffee with three Equal, nonfat milk and room to splash." (Big smile, somewhat condescending.)

(Cut to a further moment later, still at the window)

SBUX: "Oh, gosh, I am SOOO sorry, sir!!! Oh, gosh! I guess the lid wasn't on tightly enough. Jeez. I am sooooo sorry!!! Are you okay????? It's all over your car..."


*Though I dream in vain*
*In my heart it will remain*
*my Starbuck's melody*
*The memory of life's refrain.*

(With profound apologies to the writers of that wonderful song.)
____________________________________

Heartfelt wishes that the Castros were not in the weatherline of tornados that swept through Florida last evening.

Word of the day

Facultative~Refers to a school that has listed Harlan as an ajunct professor for 40 years when they don't even know what he looks like.

Hey Chuck,

RE:

"ENOUGH ALREADY!!! Seven weeks. Seven snowstorms. It's below zero outside."

So much for global warming, huh?!?!

ENOUGH ALREADY!!!
Seven weeks.

Seven snowstorms.

It's below zero outside.

The snow from seven weeks ago hasn't melted off yet.

Deer are moving into residential areas foraging for food.

Seven weeks.

Mother Nature is a bitch.

Chuck

Faisal,
I like your movie. I like even more the entertaining and interesting collegic discourses on "the meaning of it all". I, of course, don't need any such rosetta stone. i know precisely what it's about:
It's your frustration with those damn typing tests corporations have to give everyone applying for an 'entry-level position'. I know, i know, i feel you, sir.
Ha, i don't know if you've ever really had to go through any of those processes, but that's what your movie felt like for me. And getting dumped by the faceless Ivory Tower masters when you're done. Nice feel though, as always. Well done.
Tongue firmly in cheek, but not about the compliments,
paul

Rotten eggs of the Sahara
R. Wilder said -- "So the fact that SAHARA sucked rotten eggs with stale whiskey breath had nothing to do with its tankeroo?"

You beat me to the punch, Sir, and did so with all the taste and grace that wretched movie deserved.

"Clive Cussler is accused of inflating his book sales -- which is why the producers of SAHARA lost $105M of their investment in the movie version.

It appears that the investors' math indicated that Cussler's 100M books sold equates to 100M potential moviegoers. Not sales of SAHARA, sales of ALL his books."

So the fact that SAHARA sucked rotten eggs with stale whiskey breath had nothing to do with its tankeroo?

Clive Cussler
I used to love Clive Cussler's books when I was much, much younger. But he lost me at around the 7th book in his Dirk Pitt series because a) he started repeating himself and b) he resurrected a dead (albeit compelling) character with absolutely no explanation; one who perished in Deep Six and suddenly showed up in Cyclops without even a trace of a rotting smell or a hint of drowsiness.

When his work comes up in the discussions that comprise my conversational life, I recommend Raise the Titanic, Vixen 03 and Night Probe, and that's all. Although the idea he explores in Treasure, that the contents of the Library of Alexandria were spirited away and hidden prior to its destruction, cries out for better exploration by other writers.

I'm not surprised at the allegations in that article. He seems to be so taken with himself, he's slowly merged the characters of "Clive Cussler" and "Dirk Pitt", to the point where he inserts himself into the novels from time to time so he can interact more directly with his characters. John Fowles already did that 30 years ago, and better.

Item I thought would be of interest to the Pavilion readers:

http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/news/la-ex-anschutz1feb02,0,3908364.story?coll=la-home-headlines

Clive Cussler is accused of inflating his book sales -- which is why the producers of SAHARA lost $105M of their investment in the movie version.

It appears that the investors' math indicated that Cussler's 100M books sold equates to 100M potential moviegoers. Not sales of SAHARA, sales of ALL his books.

Therefore, if Cussler wrote 25 books (and I don't know how many he's written, but that's a realistic number), it stands to reason that that's 4M copies of each (still a staggering number). Let's assume SAHARA was an average performer, so it sold 4M copies -- of which 25% of his readers might be likely to want to see a film based upon the book. Mathematically, that means 1M people would see the film automatically, at $8 each. $8M at the boxoffice. Which means the producers have to get another 14 million people to see the movie in order to turn a decent profit.

And this guy's a billionaire???

I'd guess that this is what makes Harlan so crazy when it comes to dealing with (most) Hollywood types...

I wasn't going to comment about the death of Molly Ivins as much as it has saddened me so but john j zeock, your comment requires a response.

You are so completely wrong. Molly Ivins has been warning people who would listen about Shrub ever since his father's brief reign of ignominy.

If you insist on blaming anyone other than the bastards who got us into this mess, how about not blaming anyone who voted their conscience?

Blame instead all those worthless pieces of shit who couldn't be bothered to get up off their asses and vote at all.

I sure will miss that womanly Texas twang.

You know who was one HELLUVA character actor?

Victor Jory.

Just kinda discovered him after knowing his face from a few places since I can remember.

I "found" the man in an incredibly well-written Hitchcock episode, which had a gloss of Shakespearian tragedy, called Death Of A Cop - in which he plays a hard-boiled policeman who loses his son, also a cop trying to follow in his pa's footsteps.

The man played everything from the Shadow in the 1940's serial (which I've never seen) to the Native Chief in Papillon starrin' Steve McQueen.

He was so convincing in Papillon that I once believed he was a real true-to-life native indian.

He has played just about EVERY type of character you could fry up - and in an entirely different way in each performance.

Damn good actor.

Next, I'll bring you up to date on a recent yahoo wherein a 19-year-old chick nearly took my life (that was Monday night). What ELSE is new?

response
barney- you're correct. more tomorrow.

*** Harlan *** I'd say thank you even if I didn't suspect you had fun rubbing that one in - so, umm, thanks.

*** John *** I'm not going to make the "don't speak ill of the dead" argument because, just as a for instance, I was forwarding a Christopher Hitchens piece about Gerald R. Ford's "legacy" just a couple of weeks ago that was not kind but seemed like a much needed corrective to some hype.

But I do think it's a specious argument to put any part of the blame for the course of recent human history on to Ms. Ivins.

Yesterday Madeline Albright was being interviewed by Wolf Blitzer and Blitzer mentioned "intelligence failures" in reference to our becoming involved in (starting) the war in Iraq. Ms. Albright quite cogently pointed out these were not intelligence failures, but rather, "decision failures", which just about stopped Wolf cold and brought a big smile to my face - and I suspect a few other viewers as well.

Not succeeding from preventing people from doing stupid and possibly evil things - whatever their motives - does not transfer any culpability to the people who tried to prevent them in the first place, even if their methods were not your preferred methods.

- Barney Dannelke

Brian, Molly Ivins was always one of my favorite commentators. I met her when she addressed the annual convention of the State Teachers Association here. She had the house rocking with her speech, and later I bought two of her books. Whenever I fume about the religious right, I remember this quote by Ivins: "Fundamentalists aren't evil; they're scared."

molly ivins
i mourn the death of molly ivins but something has to be said- if not for her, michael moore, jim hightower and the rest of the "al gore isn't liberal enough for me" crowd, there would be 3,000 men and women in america and untold thousands in irag still alive. i don't blame people who voted for ralph nader because they believed in him, it's the others. as always, i remain, obediently yours.

In the buff with an Olympia SG3
The “Neatorama” site provides a list of authors who plied the trade while starkers:

http://www.neatorama.com/2007/01/30/the-naked-truth-authors-who-write-in-the-buff/

Shouldn’t our esteemed host be added to the list? Is my memory failing or wasn’t “Pretty Maggie Moneyeyes” written au natural?

Has Harlan ever been impressed by a speech?

Read the famous "It is you not I" speech in "Winterset," by Maxwell Anderson.

Mr. Qureshi,

Congratulations on your film! I would like to agree that it's more important than the discovery of penicillin, but I'm currently courting a 10-day regimen of the stuff to battle an abscessed tooth and I have to believe the penicillin is doing more for the infection than the film would if I watched it four times a day for ten days.

Sandra

I’m tempted to bloviate a little on copyright as just one element in the complex system that we have evolved for the accumulation and dissemination of knowledge. Perhaps throw in some clever cross-references to provenance, pedigree, peer review and patent law. Then close with a wise ex cathedra proclamation of the value that accrues to our society when these inter-linked systems are kept in good working order.

Fortunately, I’m already feeling like a bit of an ass, Tony‘s post on the writer‘s perspective covers current needs and the rest is in the archives.

Peace, Elijah!

DEAR PESTIFEROUS Q. DANNELKE:

Yes, of course, as is the case with EVERYDAMNTHING, every damn for-most-people-mundane-thing, in my life, there is a nifty tale
of getting McGinnis out of semi-retirement by Charles Ardai of the terrific pb HARD CASE line (which anyone who is into great hardboiled and/or Gold Medal-style writing ought to be buying book after book) and me. A story I'll relate when next we see each other, onaccounta I don't feel like doing it blahblahblah.

HOWEVER...Mr. McGinnis (though he asks me to call him Bob, I somewhichway cannot bring myself to be that presumptuous with one of my idols) did do about eight or nine color sketches pre-
full cover painting. The size of the original is EXACTLY 10" wide by 16 and 1/4" high. How can I be so precise? Well (the sound of you eating your black wretched shrunken heart out is music to my shell-like ears even cross-country), it is because the original, handsomely framed, now hangs in my front hall.

Hoping this has made your day, I remain, Yr. Pal, Harlan

We lost another of the good ones
Molly Ivins passed away today.

Damn. If anyone deserved to see the end of the Bush era, it was her.

Something more important then the discovery of Penecillin
My short film Scribble is on the web and earning me money.

(Not good quality and the sound isn't as loud as it should be and we shot on Super 16mm film and it ends up looking like that and you really need to see it on the big screen to do it justice but....)

Link at:

http://www.atomfilms.com/film/scribble.jsp

FAQ

usa
Disgrace for Britney Spears! Ooops! She did it again...
http://bagiart.info/?p=30

*** Harlan *** I just logged my spiffy new Edgeworks Abbey copy of SPIDER KISS into my LibraryThing utility, and was re-admiring the new Robert McGinnis cover. Nice to see the artist credited front, back and inside, lest there be any doubt.

Normally you're pretty vocal about the artists on the covers of your books. I was wondering if there is any back story to how this cover came about.

Robert McGinnis, like the Dillons and the incomparable Richard Powers, is one of the very few people who can get me to buy a book simply because of the cover art. In fact, a friend of mine once asked me about the merits of a certain author and I told him, "just buy the ones with the McGinnis covers and do yourself a favor and don't READ any of them."

Not that SPIDER KISS has anything like that problem. I'm just saying, he has that kind of pull as an artist. So, how'd you rope him? How big is the original? Did he start with a photo reference, as he usually does? And where is the original now?

- Barney

Pestiferous, PA.

Dan Simmons and Erik Nelson's documentary
Harlan,

At Dan Simmons' book signing last night in San Mateo, a film crew hired by Nelson showed up to get some final comments from Dan re your influence on his career for insertion into the essentially finished product. Better alert your lawyers...

...just kidding.

He read part of an intro to a collection of his stories that you wrote into the camera, and then the crew filmed a few other comments about you from Dan. They also took various shots of people getting books signed. Methinks you'll be pleased (if you can watch the whole thing; I understand it's a bit disconcerting to see oneself being talked about on screen...)

A local newsman, who originally planned to come and get a book signed, apparently was asked by Nelson or someone connected with Nelson to do the quick interview. He mentioned that the doc is close to being released, and that the film will not make the festival circuit in lieu of release (apparently it would have been submitted to Sundance if timing had been more propitious), though I suppose this does not necessarily preclude it from being shown at some future festival. He was a nice man, and sounded like he knew what he was talking about, but I cannot vouch for the absolute accuracy of any of his reported comments. Just letting you know Daniel went on video record giving you your props.

Harlan, after your next fiction book you have to push for a sequel to PROCRUSTEAN BED anyway, so put the Sturgeon essay in there. Tell them your fans demand it. We have all of Sturgeon's original books, and we'd go broke if we had to buy all the books you wrote introductions for. I'm sure the essay is one of the more important pieces of nonfiction you ever wrote, and I would love to find it in my personal library one day.

(Are there any uncollected stories in the volume? The release date seems to be July 17th.)

topic retracted
All : Sorry for jumping on an issue that's long since worn out its welcome. Consider this post my attempt to drag its unseemly carcass back out of the spotlight.

Jack : I have to make a point of giving ground to you for pointing out that ideas are a dime a dozen and it's what's made of them that matters. I can't believe I made this gaffe given the number of times I've chuckled at the anecdotes of rubes who offer an author an idea and then expect a percentage of profits from the finished book. That's not what I was getting at but all the same... Touche, ya got me.

Harlan : Thank you for separating my good intentions from the quality of my suppositions. I'm embarassed to admit it, but thanks also for saying I was ok in your book. *grin* If you let me know what stores carry it, I'll pick up a copy to read when I'm having days like yesterday. It helped.

Notes on a Morning
I don't object to Elijah for voicing his opinion, but I object to the opinion itself. I gotta disagree vehemently that artistic works should be available, for free, just because they can be. That's the creator's (small c) decision, not up to the masses.

The masses, of course, may do what they will, but it doesn't make it any more right or defensible to steal the product of another person's labor.

(As far as I know, Elijah is a good guy, but one I've never met...)
_____________________________________________

Yes, Sidney Sheldon is gone. Would that the current gaggle of bestselling writers be as good as he.
_____________________________________________

Joseph Biden enters the presidential relay. Yes, we could use a few more Clarence Thomas' on the Supreme Court.
_____________________________________________

And, because the Pavilion seems to have some sense of the realities of life: in a few minutes I am going to pick up the phone and call my parents to let them know that a friend of the family -- a fraternity brother of my father's, a resident of this-here LBC (one of our favorite "fundraiser event" buddies around town), and the godfather to me and my siblings -- has been re-diagnosed with colon cancer, and it seems to have moved into his liver as well. Anyone who has dealt with the Big C knows that the liver is a bad thing to have involved. A very bad thing.

He enters chemo Friday. Cris and I are devastated.

I appreciate everyone will be tempted to post their condolences, and I appreciate it in advance -- but there's no need to hijack the board with what we all know is there. I just felt like mentioning it somewhere before I made the call.

RIP Sidney
I loved several of the cons in "If Tomorrow Comes" (the chess game, the pair of emeralds, etc.).

LOS ANGELES (Jan. 30) - Sidney Sheldon, who won awards in three careers, Broadway theater, movies and television, then at age 50 turned to writing best-selling novels about stalwart women who triumph in a hostile world of ruthless men, has died. He was 89.

Prez Libraries, etc.


I'm not all that against building presidential libraries while the former prez is still alive, if for one reason:

When the Truman library was completed, Mr. Truman himself had an office there, and would stay well after closing. He just loved to answer the phone saying, "Hello, this is Harry Truman." and listening to their response.

Waiting until after he'd shuffled off the mortal coil would have made that experience impossible for a lot of people.

So, Werner Herzog loved "Dreams with Sharp Teeth"? If there is a venue that would show it, the Tivoli and Mayan would be the most likely places. I'd have hated to wait until the DVD came out anyway, but an endorsement like that has me hoping.

Chuck

Sturgeon
Seven years ago, Harlan dropped some tantalizing asides about the strange and wonderful Ted Sturgeon at Aggie-Con and the knowledge that he was writing the intro to Volume XI only reminded me how much I longed to hear more.

Ellison and Sturgeon back between the same covers...I can hardly wait...

I for one wouldn't dream of being mean to Elijah Newton -- the opinion was expressed in an even tone & great reasonableness. But I do have to speak up to differ.

I've spent the past half-decade working with hopeful unpublished writers. There's been a small undercurrent that is very big on "sharing" the works of others, from fiction excerpts & pithy quotes -- often without atribution, much less bibliography -- & sometimes complete pieces.

Quack, quack quack, "free exchange of Ideas," quack, quack, quack, "cultural marketplace," quack, quack, quack.

Any guesses on how quickly this does a 180 when I utter the fateful words, "You really need to get this published"?

Suddenly the same anarchists are filing copyright for every thousand words, & Gooogling key passages to see if people are ripping them off from crit sites, & asking whether they need to retain a lawyer because excerpts are still lurking about on their old Yahoo! group.

See, I'm of mixed attitude on this myself. Sure, I'd like to see a world where "copyright reversed" had some meaning. Sure, I think creative folk ought to be supported if not sinecured simply because society sucks somewhat less with healthy creative ferment (& it does bug me that so many creatives get fat&lazy when guaranteed of a warm dry room & two squares/day). There's been some limited success with giving away free mp3s to boost CD sales, & maybe someday we'll live in a world where the ebook is a great way to draw deadtree sales.

But, in general, people who rail to any degree against copyright really need to (a) write something worth reading & then (b) establish its value by selling it. Until then, it's at best prescriptive & high-handed for the Bantus & Baptists to expound on how the Watusi & Catholic OUGHT TO feel.

And once they've actually got some skin in the game, I bet you see 'em become even more ardent about Creative Rights than those they previously chided.

The Story
YO, HARLAN!!!!

Ready whenever you are, buddy. And I can't wait to see your introduction to the Sturgeon.
-------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright c 2007 by The Kilimanjaro Corporation. All rights reserved.
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Did I mention I'd finally finished the Sturgeon piece?

It's titled "Abiding with Sturgeon: Mistral in the Bijou" and it's (did I happen to mention?) 10 thousand 2 hundred fuckin' words long?

Did I mention wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

?

-he

EVERYONE ELSE:

Leave Elijah Newton alone. You're truly and sincerely way off the Reality Beam in your suppositions, Elijah, but you are clearly a good guy, and you mean well, so ... no offense taken; and probably none meant by your co-dwellers here. But one would think, after all this time, and the outcome of the AOL litigation proffered to you on this site alone (not to mention the very sharp and smart and exhaustive back'n'forth about this very subject in the Webderland archives, that went on for more than 2 years) no one would be masticating this dead meat again.

So. Be nice to Newton, you goons. He's okay in MY book.

Which, er, uh, happens to be copyright 2000 by The Kilimanjaro Corporation.

Harlan

HEY, SKILLINGSTEAD!!!!!

I haven't forgotten our story. Today I completed all the corrections and additions to the Sturgeon introduction -- for which, I was reminded, horribly, I'd agreed to write same for a $10 (ten dollar) honorarium -- and this piece that it's taken me about three years and a trip to the hospital to write, tops out at 10,200 words. It will see print (unless I can arrange for someone to do it in another venue after the North Atlantic Books volume XI of THE COMPLETE STORIES OF THEODORE STURGEON comes out) only in said tome.

And so, with this millstone off my shoulders, I can go back to writing short stories half-finished; of which there isn't one called The Chair; but --

Trus'me ... The Chair IS IS IS IS coming. Shortly.

And, speaking of shortly, Yr. Pal, Harlan
-------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright c 2007 by The Kilimanjaro Corporation. All rights reserved.
-------------------------------------------------------------

JIM & CINDY ARGENDELI:

Susan and I both miss you.

Answer to your release-date-of-DREAMS WITH SHARP TEETH-query is outside my purview. I suggest you go to the website at

CREATIVE DIFFERENCES

and ask the director-producer, ERIK NELSON, for his latest word on such matters. I am hands-off, for the most part. I know very little about this film's march toward the attention of A.O. Scott of the NY Times, Roger Ebert (if he gets well as soon as I'd have it), or even that chimp Roeper. The concept that my life might be an Oscar contender numbs my brain. But I've tried to stay very very much out of the producing entity's way, to avoid even the scent of "fannish nepotism." (Even to suggesteing VERY strongly that Creative Differences interview not only my friends, who would say nice things about me--for the most part--but my enemies. Who, I think, would make much more tasty remarks about what a dick I am.) Erik's response was, "I don't have to interview anybody else...you're your worst enemy."

The man is a goy. We must sit shiva for him.

Good to hear from you guys. Yr. Pal, Harlan

Newton:
You said: "Of course, ideas are sacred." In fiction, ideas ARE NOT sacred. Ideas are a dime a dozen. Copyright exists to protect the work of a writer who has made something out of an idea. Give away all the ideas you want, but don't give away a writer's work under the hazy notion that it's good to do so on general principles, or because copyright is some fat cat protection racket designed to benefit distributors.

Elijah, God Bless you son, but that's a steaming pile big enough to trip over.

I know we're all about point-counterpoint here, but you haven't got a thesis coherent enough to attack.

(*groan* I shouldn't say anything, I shouldn't say anything...)
My respect for Harlan is boundless. I don't endorse posting anyone's work without their permission and, hey, if the artist or craftsperson can get a buck or fifty for it, more power to them.

But. BUT! Copyrights are not the last answer, are not the final step in some capitalistic evolution. They are an imperfect, evolving solution. One which, I hasten to add, may be increasingly ill equipped to deal with ideas of property and theft. Those two concepts, which originated with discrete, physical items and then weathered a transistion to the duplication of physical items (printed books), cannot help but be somewhat worn and frayed when it comes to reproductions which are potentially infinite in quantity and parity. (nrr, not quite the right word. sorry)

Of course, ideas are sacred. That is the underpinning of why I feel so strongly that knowledge should be distributed. It is also at the core of why people believe artists deserve to be compensated.

"The "tragedy of the commons" is the familiar notion that widespread public use of a commons leads to its inevitable depletion. But some resources, once created, cannot be depleted. In the words of Thomas Jefferson, "He who receives an idea from me, receives instruction himself without lessening mine; as he who lights his taper at mine receives light without darkening me." An idea is not diminished when more people use it." (http://creativecommons.org/about/legal)

Again, I repeat: It is not fair to give away someone else's work. Creators should be free to charge money, give it away, or burn it sight unseen. Creators should have control over what they make.

But man o man could I do with less talk, particularly from this crowd of The Good and Wise, about how copywriting work is some gift from on high. It's a legitmate, moneymaking tool. And that's it.

And it's not about making money for the creators, either. The people cutting the checks are those distributing the products, not the people buying them. So enough already with the arguments about how the starving artist gets fed because of copyright law, that's bunk.

The starving artist starves because nobody pays him until (in the case of writers) a publishing company finds him worthy of their patronage. That's the current paradigm, that's the way things are. Fine, I can accept that. But when I hear about people bucking the copyright system, I see an objection to this method of distribution.

Look, let me take one of my favorite authors; Stephen King. He gets published because his name, writ large across the cover of a book, will sell a metric fuck ton of processed dead trees. He gets paid a lot of money. (and he's earned his chops - my beef is not with Stevie)

How many other authors could be published with these resources? Many and many. Why aren't we questioning the paradigm that's preventing these many creators from earning a living wage, rather than supporting a system that benefits a relatively small number of creators and a huge parastic distribution network.


My apologies to anyone who's read through this and found it a complete waste of time. It's been a rough day. (also sorry for 'copywrites' where it should be 'copyrights')

There's a big film festival in Seattle coming up. Maybe they'll have a showing. I think "Grizzly Man" appeared at the festival the year it was released.

Documentaries and Book Critics
HARLAN: Can't wait to see the Nelson documentary. Sounds like a winner (maybe it'll get nominated for a "golden boy"). As for book critics, my daughter -- recently invited to join the "Young Playwright's Circle" run by the Coterie Theater here in Kansas City -- who is the more talented writer in this family, wrote a review for a bookclub last month in which she referred to ERAGON as "the disfigured lovechild of 'StarWars' and LORD OF THE RINGS." She's definitely walking in the salty, critical footsteps of Ms. Parker and thineself.

--DTS (tip o' the hat to Susan).

How can someone have a hard time defending democracy? That's like saying it is hard to defend love or pizza for that matter. Democracy is the golden hammer that hits us on the noggin, telling us to wake the fuck up. Democracy demands something from us, mainly to let other people have freedom, and for them not to be oppressed by your idea about what you think they should want and imposing that on them by force. Democracy takes effort, but sadly, in this country, we need daddy government to hold our hand, because we think the big bad terrorists are going to blow up our good thing. So let's strip away all the laws and rights we have fought for for hundreds of years and stuff it all down the rathole. Not me man, not me. They have to take my grin from my face by force.

------------

Who let that pinhead in here?

I knew I hated MySpace for the right reasons.

I would like to see the documentary as well. If it is released in selected cities, may my city be selected.

Any news on a possible release date on the documentary?

Same words, different meanings

In London a tube station is where you catch the 5:15. In the US it's a spaghetti restaurant.

Harlan,
Congrats on your fantastic 15 minutes. I hope to get a chance to see the movie and await a chance to buy the book. Here's to the rest of your day measuring up.

Harlan, I think that Herzog was talking about you, too. "Raw Power," indeed.

Matthew's post reminds me of a time in Driver's Ed class where a fellow student told a story of how someone he knew was in a car accident. He hadn't been wearing his seat belt and the impact from the collision pushed him across his seat whereas if he had been wearing the thing, he would have likely been killed.

This seemed to refute what the instructor had been saying and I edged closer to the edge of my seat, wondering what the response could possibly be.

"So what's your point?" the instructor asked. "That seat belts are bad and that we shouldn't wear them?"

So what, Matthew, that you can find pirated works? Their presence or availability doesn't make them legitimate. Nor, as far as I can see, would this fact make for a longer lasting impression on the public.

Getting rid of copyright protection would mean less money for the author and presumably a smaller body of work as he wouldn't be able to produce as much while struggling to earn a wage. The way to be remembered isn't to produce work available for free, but to produce great work. If someone's not willing to pay a fee to read it, who cares if they're going to be sitting around remembering it? I submit they're nobody's target audience.

YOU AIN'T GONNA BELIEVE THIS!

Two fantastic things just happened in the last fifteen minutes.

1) The advance copies of the new DREAM CORRIDOR came in!!!!!!

2) I got a phone call from Werner Herzog, who saw the documentary on me, and he was nuts about it. He kept saying "raw power" and "brilliant" about Erik Nelson's film!

It's about to start raining here at Ellison Wonderland; sky is lowering, gray and ominous. So why is the sun shining in my heart?!!!?

Yr. Pal, HardeleeDardeleeWhoopdeeDoo Ellison

Astounding, to me, is the logic that although you've caught one person misbehaving and taken corrective action, you haven't noticed "all these other people" misbehaving, somehow YOU'RE the one at fault.

Stolen work is stolen work, regardless of the intent of the individual doing the stealing. It seems that the Myspace poster who put up IHNMAIMS reacted properly to it being pointed out as wrong, apologizing for the transgression and immediately taking down the work. I would suggest that anyone who knowingly posts and defends posting copyrighted material is not only a criminal but a fool. The person who pursues them is not, they are the victim. Should one of my photographs appear somewhere without permssion, I, too, would be slightly miffed. Ditto my wife's music.

Theft is theft, and there's no reasonable defense of it.

I'm a little surprised with Matthew's second post. I don't think anyone's attacking you here, but deliberate posting of illegal material is a very sensitive topic hereabouts (and not just for our patron). It's indefensible. And I don't personally agree that piracy somehow helps contribute to longevity. Quality and reputation contribute far more to a legacy than posting of stolen merchandise EVER will, particularly considering that the probable viewers of the repost aren't likely to be the editors, teachers and scholars who will determine what's read in a hundred years.

Just my humble opinion, but whether Ellison, Olson, Castro, Schindler, Richmond, Rickard -- or any of the other hundreds of people mentioned on these pages who've published successfully -- have any long-term literary legacy is driven by factors that are little influenced by illegal postings on a private web page.

plague yer eyes - ing

Unless someone was reviving his name from years back, Matthew Dickinson apparently wrote: "If Harlan Ellison's stories are pirated, they will be better remembered in years to come." (editor's note: the person in question's posts have been removed as he was banned permanently ages ago)


Maybe, but will he be?

Credit should go where it is due. Just try to pin down who originated a popular quote like "Everything I like is either illegal, immoral, or fattening." I've seen it attributed to Mae West, W.C. Fields, and Dorothy Parker . . . probably by folks who don't even know who one or more of these people were.

Democracy and Elitism
I find it hard these days to defend democracy to my students. One is forced to paraphrase Churchill and say that it's bad, but preferrable to any other system. Perhaps this is true. What keeps me wedded to democracy is, more than anything else, a careful look at the "elites" that have dominated modern America: the Bushies, the Rockefellers, the Gores, the Kennedys, the Harrimans, the Roots. I have seen my betters and they ain't. This realization--that what we'd get if we changed would in no way imporve the situation--paralles my arguments with two friends in Britain who are small "r" republicans. I just tell them: "repeat after me--President Blair, President Blair, President Blair...." That shuts them up.

KIM OWEN SMITH:

Thank you.

-he

KB:

Several different kinds of thankee for the nice Robert Hughes quote. As a lifelong elitist, I am in sage, silent agreement.

And, to be sure, this attitude -- another version of which is Bertolt Brecht's "He who laughs has simply not heard the bad news" -- is more infuriating than GOD IS DEAD to the great wad of mediocres. Elitism, in this age of Everyone Is Entitled To His Own Opinion, and Everyone is Equal, and political correctness, is the New Heresy. Ain't he arrogant, the blobs of the wad wail. I don't care for his superior attitude. Who the hell does he think he is, God?

Er uh ...

Yr. Pal, Harlan
HARLAN ELLISON
- Monday, January 29 2007 22:39:41

Hey, Greenawalt:

Actually, surprised me as much as it will you, but I did, in fact understand, that is to say I "got" MARIENBAD -- though I haven't time or inclination to deconstruct it. Not in the few years on this Earth left to me.

What I COULD NOT get, posssibly because s'help me honest it kept putting me to ACTUAL SLEEP!!! -- and every time I woke the idiot characters were still running round and round and round a big rock, was L'AVENNTURA.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

If Harlan Ellison's stories are pirated, they will be better...
"If Harlan Ellison's stories are pirated, they will be better remembered in years to come."

Absolutely true Matthew, because the court cases and asskickings both legal and physical that would ensue of any pirates of Harlan Ellison's work will linger long and painfully in the cultural memory.

They used to leave the tarred bodies of the original pirates on display, hanging in chains for weeks, besides the Thames, "por encourager les autres".

I have it on good authority that Harlan Ellison follows pretty much the same policy, only with more modern tools of enforcement.

By all means, encourage the pirates in your way, and Harlan Ellison will "encourage" them to desist in his own inimitable fashion.

KOS

PS
By the way, what makes you think Harlan cares about being "better remembered in years to come" anyway, especially if it be by the sort of Jukes and Kallikaks who think thievery is the highest form of praise? I imagine Halran Ellison writes for his own purposes, and those are his business and none of ours. As for me, I'd say "fuck years to come", and would rather appreciate the artist now by not stealing from him, at the very least.

Down these streets a bad biography goes.
The Tom Hiney biography of Chandler is a mess. Having lived in Los Angeles and San Diego, Hiney doesn't under the geography of Southern California, and makes mistakes easily solved if he first read Frank McShanes' first and superior biography of Raymond Chandler.

McShane's book to my taste bring you closer to Chandler's private life and how he went about creating his books and details their reception upon publication. Hiney gives you a book report at best on the art Chandler slowly, painfully, created. I think one of the problem is that outside of Chandler's time at Dulwich the public school he attended before returning to the United States, Hiney really lacks understand of California culture, prohibition or the political corruption that was all part of the hardboiled plots of the time.

A trip to amazon or hamilton books will reward you with lots of scholastic and entertain books of Chandler, as well as Hammett and Ross McDonald. Library of America has done some fine hardcovers of his work and a few years ago, Everyman's Library collected for the first time all of Chandler's short stories under one cover. For Hammett fans, there is a collection of short stories that pre-date some of his black mask pieces that were carried in SMART SET and other places.

DAN SIMMONS, who get a few mentions here from time to time will be doing an appearance, Wednesday at M FOR MYSTERY in San Mateo. Time unknown at this time, but that is what the internet is for.

As a matter of pure coincidence, considering the recent Webderland topics of "Old Masters" and "Is Harlan Funny?", I was trolling CJ Cherryh's site and came across her Science Fiction and Fantasy Starter's List for those that want a fast yet representative introduction to the genre.

Following the list is a section titled, "The Authors You Should Know". Among the nine Silver Age authors listed is one Harlan Ellison. Ms. Cherryh has this to say about him:

"Harlan Ellison.....a short-story writer and screen writer, a keen wit, a very ascerbic humor, and an irreverent take on the universe. One of the most brilliant and reckless of humorists and social critics, notoriously quick and ruthless with a word, a master of the short story."

It's almost as though they had met at some point....

Sue teaching English
Sue
Ow do luv, as thas givin lessons in ow speak proper, did nee forgit when livid in Manchester how we spoke. I wud be greet tave a character speek like us opp north sted o them ponsy beggers darn sarth.
As well as wanker, use Arse, Bollocks and Bugger as much as thee can.
Hope thee and t’hubbys well, speek to thee soon.
Luv Steve

Best Biography You've Read?
The discussion of the Chandler bio below got me wondering about this.

By no means have I read all the biographies I should, and I've probably read some that I shouldn't have, but the best work of biographical scholarship I've encountered is Ron Chernow's "Alexander Hamilton". Extensively researched, wonderfully executed, natch.

To put it another way, KB, Robert Anton Wilson had a line about "the only moral form of segregation", the fools on one side and the rest on the other.

Just finished Tom Hiney's bio of Raymond Chandler. No, no insights (from me anyway) about the relationship between the author's life and his work although Chandler himself had a great line, "Who cares when a writer got his first bicycle?"

No, the revelation I enjoyed was finding our that Joyce Carol Oates publicly opposed the inclusion of Chandler in the Library of America(!), accusing him of racism and misogyny. Now Chandler certainly depicted the casual racism and misogyny of Marlowe's 40s LA with his usual skill but of course it is a bigtime rookie mistake to extrapolate from that the author himself is so afflicted.

Perhaps an older, wiser Oates was doing penance last year when she championed H. P. Lovecraft's inclusion into the LOA? Reading HPL's letters reveals no bigger racist in the annals of American literature but you know friends, it never occurred to me to use that as an excuse to keep him out. (And this allows me to anticipate the question as to why I would want RC in and HPL out.)

FAREWELL, MY LOVELY is Literature (upper case used advisedly) in a way that none of HPL's work ever is. For me it's that simple.

Keith Cramer---

Some time back, I read on Mark Evanier's site that he used to have a friend who was desperately wary of hearing anything about a new movie, so much so that once, when Evanier commented, "I heard that movie is really good", his friend refused to see it because Evanier had "ruined it" for him.

You aren't that guy, are you?
-------
TCM---Turner Classic Movies---What can I say? Many of their "classics" aren't. Currently playing is "It's Trad, Dad!" The basic plot is that a couple are looking for an emcee for a jazz programme. The acting is minimal. It's actually more of a music video than a movie.

I looked at the first page at the imdb site and didn't recognize any of the players, but I did note that it was directed by Richard Lester. I went to the page that shows the full cast and found Chubby Checker, Gary U. S. Bonds, Del Shannon, and The Dukes of Dixieland and some guy with the odd name of Acker Bilk, among others.

http://imdb.com/title/tt0055026/fullcredits

As a movie, it's not worth watching. As a look at some of the music, I found it worth my 80 minutes. Maybe I'll watch it again.

Harlan, I imagine you have no more room on your walls for quotes, but here's a good one from Robert Hughes' just published memoir "Things I Didn't Know":

"For of course I am completely an elitist, in the cultural but emphatically not the social sense. I prefer the good to the bad, the articulate to the mumbling, the esthetically developed to the merely primitive, and full to partial consciousness. I love the spectacle of skill, whether it’s an expert gardener at work, or a good carpenter chopping dovetails, or someone tying a Bimini hitch that won’t slip. I don’t think stupid or ill-read people are as good to be with as wise and fully literate ones. I would rather watch a great tennis player than a mediocre one, unless the latter is a friend or relative. Consequently, most of the human race doesn’t matter much to me, outside the normal and necessary frame of courtesy and the obligation to respect human rights. I see no reason to squirm around apologizing for this...Some Australians feel this is a confession of antidemocratic sin; but I am no democrat in the field of the arts, the only arena – other than sports – in which human inequality can be displayed and celebrated without doing social harm."

British Telemarketing
Steve,

Yes, by jove, that bally telemarketing oojamaflip is certainly over here. A beastly thing it is too, doncha know...? Run by wankers and tossers.

Toodle-oo, old thing! Pip pip!

Rob

A couple of unrelated comments - I was just talking about James Frey's book with Harlan the other day. Friend of mine was reading it when it came out, before the controversy. She was raving about it, and so I perused a couple random pages, and said, "Dude's making this shit up." There's no way anyone who's been through rehab writes about it the way he did. I was surprised when the news broke and everyone acted like it was some kind of shocking revelation. Go figure.

Next - I lived in England from 1979 to 1980. The notion that anyone needs to teach me how to use "wanker" in casual conversation is bollocks.

Lastly, I think I've found my next project. Who wouldn't want to see Dave Chapelle and Harlan playing a pair of stoners? I smell Oscars for everyone.

Kristin: I agree that ex-presidents should wait until they've gone to that great Oval Office in the Sky before a library is built in their honor. Of course, modesty is not a virtue common to politicians--particularly to one whose theme song is "Hail to the Chief."

Shelly: I'm sure President Bush favors pictures over text. As to the "Petting Zoo": I think that would be a bit too tame for him. A torture dungeon--that's the ticket! Of course it wouldn't be called that. "Hall of Enhanced Persuasion" might work. There are plenty of people to practice on in Guantanamo.

Regarding JONATHAN STRANGE & MR. NORRELL: on some website a person commented that reading it was like hearing William Hung sing "She Bangs" 50 times in a row. Now THAT'S a bad review!

*** John *** What's to explain? Is the plot the hang-up? I'll take Kyrou over Medved in this argument any day of the week.

As a book seller I do love me some Robbe-Grillet. Sell his stuff all day long. Just last week a copy of "L'Annee Derniere A Marienbad" either paid for an evening's drinking at Cannon's or my HC 1st edition of the TERROR - so he's OK by me.

*** Harlan *** On another board I'm having a discussion about the 100 year old question about author's lives versus their texts and how important or linked one is to the other or should be to the other. While I've been tempted to mention you I've been working from recent James Ellroy interviews and the big 4 page NYTBR career retrospective piece they just did on Norman Mailer. Mostly because those to gentlemen have studiously used and confused these questions to the benefit of their literary careers.

I'm not going to ask you where you come down on all this since I think the last 50 years speaks pretty clearly. But I know based on conversations I've heard you have over the years that you've read at least enough lit-crit to smooth sail you through any University garden party.

My question is this. Do you think there are schools of literary criticism that ought to be avoided or have no merit. Are there modes of this sort of analysis that you wish would go away, or that you wish you had not read because you see them now as false roads?

- Barney

Cinematic challenge

Let's see Harlan explain the movie "Last Year at Marienbad," which nobody has been able to understand.

Britishy. Ha! Folks around here think I'm British because I pronounce my consonants.

Remember: "parking lot" is "car park".

Stupid question: is telemarketing as common in the UK as it is here?

Harlan's Reviewing Rhetoric toward Jonathan Strange
Brad:

Harlan's bile may be extreme, but it is in no way out of line. I have seen rhetoric of the same kind used by many reviewers, of films, books, stage performances, etc., when the critic felt that the item under review deserved it. I read one review of James Frey's fictitious memoir, before it was exposed as fictitious, that made my eyes pop out -- I wish I could remember where I saw it, because it was that brilliant an evisceration. My eyeballs bled. Roger Ebert wrote a book called I HATED, HATED, HATED, HATED THIS MOVIE, that collected some of his more elegant flights of scorn. Mark Twain wrote of one awful book, "Nobody could top this, not even an idiot." I have used rhetoric of the kind in my own forays into reviewing, multiple times. The point is that nothing Harlan has said, in any of the excerpts he has shown us, goes beyond the boundaries of what a reviewer may be expected to do -- and as long as that reviewer provides sound reasons for his bile, it falls within the category of the "reasonable assessment" you're looking for, and is utterly within his duty. There ARE books (and movies, and plays, etc), awful enough to deserve such treatment. You don't go to Harlan Ellison, or to any critic worth paying (I humbly include myself), if you want bland commentary reducing their opinions to polite up-and-down thumbs.

I note, by the way, that Harlan's words were directed toward Ms. Clarke's book, not Ms. Clarke herself. This is important, and needs to be noted, as reviews can enter the realm of personal attack. Harlan once made that error himself, saying, "The man is shit," when he felt that the artist's work was shit; to his credit, when this was pointed out to him, he publicly apologized. But attack her work? If he really hates it that much? That's the risk you take when you put work out there. Harlan's been savaged in worse terms, and has occasionally even taken perverse pride in it (see, for instance, how often he repeats James Blish's judgment that his "Glowworm" was "the worst science fiction story ever written.")

(This sometimes leads to odd questions of etiquette. Within the last couple of days I found myself in the odd position of facing a possible professional relationship with an individual whose work I once savaged at length and with all the rhetorical tools at my disposal. He was not aware of the review, and I had to point it out to him, explaining that I thought it best to do so now, rather than allow my past words to catch up with us and maybe take him by surprise later. I have not received his response yet. Maybe he'll still want to work with me. Maybe he won't. If he does, he'll have to live with what I said. The bottom line, though, is that given a time machine, I would not go back and change a single word I wrote about the piece of work that so appalled me, way back when. I would say it again, and the only reason I'm not quoting my words now, to show the extent of the abuse I heaped on his work, is that there's no particular reason to keep piling on him now.)

Me, I want to read the rest of that review. Having forced my way halfway through Susannah Clarke's tome, over a period of MONTHS -- only managing a chapter every few weeks, and stopping for regular plasma infusions from the likes of Donald Westlake -- I can certainly relate...

A-TC

"The multisyllabic words of this wretched excess of a novel do not so much 'leap off the page' as they hurl themselves in suicidal lemminglike frenzy to absent themselves from the scene of an auctorial disaster."


Harlan - I haven't read JONATHAN STRANGE & MR. NORRELL. It may well be an extremely bad book. But it's hardly surprising that the LA Times refused to publish your review. The critic's job is to provide a responsible assessment, not to use the review as an opportunity to display her/his wit. How would you feel if somebody had dismissed one of your books in terms such as these, terms which are so generalized that they could be applied to pretty much anything the reviewer happened not to like?

Oops.

Itchy trigger finger. *Sorry*

(Psst, Harlan, I can get you a video cam quick. Just a few minutes of Josh learning to speak British-ly'd be good revenge for the B5 Christmas gift vid. Just sayin')

(Vid. That's a British term for "video". I learnt that on Dr Who.)



BTW: Gerry Anderson denies the "aliens hostage" rumours. (See? See! Brit spelling!). Then again, he's also been known to refer to CAPTAIN SCARLETT as "that documentary series"...

(Psst, Harlan, I can get you a video cam quick. Just a few minutes of Josh learning to speak British-ly'd be good revenge for the B5 Christmas gift vid. Just sayin')

(Vid. That's a British term for "video". I learnt that on Dr Who.)



BTW: Gerry Anderson denies the "aliens hostage" rumours. (See? See! Brit spelling!). Then again, he's also been known to refer to CAPTAIN SCARLETT as "that documentary series"...

Definitely Not on Harlan's Resume
I don't know whether I should fume at the ignorance of the reviewer, or chuckle at the thought of Harlan portraying a beclouded stoner, or both:

http://www.dvdtalk.com/reviews/review.php?ID=26292

I saw this movie years ago but I don't remember much about it. IMDB lists the actor who played Kenny as "Harland Williams."

Alexei Sayle is terriffic. Anyone who describes himself as "that fat, loud, dangerously violent twat on the tube screaming at himself to shut up in three different voices you move quickly away from." is really okay in my book.
Speaking of books, his TRAIN TO HELL is pretty darn funny too.

"I've got WAR tattooed me left hand, PEACE tattooed on me right hand, and THE BROTHERS KARAMAZOV down me spine."

Harlan: "Susan is trying to teach Josh to 'speak Britishly.'

"Her first lesson was this: try to use 'wanker' in a sentence as often as possible."


Naah...according to the Marxist Surrealist Liverpudlian comic Alexei Sayle, it's "Fuuuuckin' wanker shit piss wank fuck cunt do wot knock it on th' 'ead giv' it 'n abortion be lucky be brief." (From his early '80s standup album CAK!, a tape of which I'll gladly send along if additional teaching materials are required. I'll even throw in his SF/mystery/radio parody THE FISH PEOPLE TAPES, in which it's revealed that the strange monsters who murdered a London gangster are actually aliens enslaved by Gerry and Sylvia Anderson...)

Cheers!
Don Hilliard

Barney wrote: ** I could be a 400 pound Asian transvestite with an eye patch and a stutter - not that there's anything "wrong" with that - for all that the internet is an indicator. **

Don't let Barney fool you. His description is on the mark.

Harlan Ellison's Kryptonite, part 2?
A while ago, someone posted Ellison getting a gift that was likened to Kryptonite. I won't spoil the surprise for those who have not seen the clip.

While going through my old videotapes, I came across a show that was mentioned in "The Glass Teat", "What's It All About, World?". The GoodLife Network used to show the reruns and I have to say, that it's pretty much as Ellison describes it (say it with me), "a horror of right-wing imbecility".

The column described the show in horrific detail. Ellison mentioned a girl they called "Happy Hollywood" (Bayn Johnson, who was in the "Electric Company" TV show a few years later), singing a tribute to President Nixon, which ends with her saying "President Nixon, we luuuuv you!". By the way, I can't find my copy of Ellison's book just now, so if my memory is incorrect, I apologize.

It seems that I have the clip in question. If it is indeed the same clip, it's worse than that.

It starts off with Happy introducing her musical number. She was dolled up to look like Shirley Temple every week. It's plays like a twee version of "Vertigo". She says something to the effect of, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I just want to let you know that a really, really great man has just been elected President and Chief Executive Officer of the most powerful nation of the free world and his name is Richard Nixon!" She then sings her loving tribute to Nixon.

If this ended here, it would have certainly rated a 7.6 on the booty-clenching scale, but after the song, two dancers appear; one has a giant Richard Nixon head, the other in a giant Spiro Agnew head. They all break into a dance routine. Yes, there is tap, yes, there is soft-shoe dancing.

In the same show, there was the sketch about a box of candy which included Dean Jones who played a white marshmallow ("People love white! White is ALWAYS good") and Scoey Mitchlll (sic) played, yes, you guessed it, a piece of chocolate nougat. Marlo Thomas narrated it. The last piece to left is the chocolate, because, according to Thomas, "some people don't like chocolate". A bit later, Carl Reiner comes along and eats the chocolate nougat because, as Thomas says, "some people love chocolate".

To quote Lenny Bruce's take on "The Esther Costello Story", "So, what's the moral?"

To quote Anna Russell, take on Wagner's Ring Cycle, "I'm not making this up, you know!".

I posted a review of this show on the Internet Movie Database because it was a source of perverse delight for me. I stopped taping it when Hines, Hines and Dad (Gregory, Maurice and their father on drums) were guests on the show. They were very good and when I realized I was actually enjoying the show, I figured it was time to stop watching!

By the way, the GoodLife Network is now the AmericanLife Network, which seems to be owned by the Unification Church, as of 2001. Egad.

Brian Phillips

Dear Larry,
I'm leaning towards The George Bush Picture Book Library and Petting Zoo.
Sincerely,
Shelly

The IHNMAIMS story has been removed

*** Harlan *** I'd have gotten back to you about this sooner but it got resolved as I was stepping out the door this morning and I just got back around 10PM. I sent "R:E:B:U:S" this note this morning to his MySpace account -


----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Dannelke
Date: Jan 28, 2007 10:25 AM
Hello,

This may not seem like a friendly warning - but it is. Putting the copyright notice up with Harlan's story isn't going to protect you. Someone on Harlan's board just saw this and placed the link on HIS board. Once he has some coffee in him West Coast time, I expect you may be hearing from him or his lawyers. This is exactly the sort of copyright infringement he will pursue.

If I were you I'd delete it.

Sincerely - Barney Dannelke

dannelke@gmail.com
I'm "Dannelke" on MySpace.

Within about 25 minutes I got back this;

Barney - Appreciate it. Wasn't trying to stir up anything. Just enjoyed the story, that's all. Wasn't thinking.

*********************************************************

And by the time I checked - perhaps 10:40AM it had been removed.

I didn't see your note until my return this evening. At this point I didn't see any purpose to giving out your contact information to him since he wasn't being pissy or arrogant about it. Not that that's a HUGE deal, but it seems to have gotten itself taken care of without rancor.

*******************************************************

***Keith*** No, that guy is 32 or 33 (I forget), not 10. That's just an old photo he put up. At least that's the age "he" says. It's all a guess with the net. I could be a 400 pound Asian transvestite with an eye patch and a stutter - not that there's anything "wrong" with that - for all that the internet is an indicator.

- Barney

Yellowmenace, Puh,puh, PA.

alternate ending

Harlan! Your track record for right-on book recommendations is measurable only by astrophysists like James McGaha, and he'd tell you something like, "It's fucking UP THERE, Ellison."

I just don't like alternative history. You've turned me on to Prokosch, Kersch, Simmons, and Kafka, to name but four writers I would never have picked up but for your nod. And they have written many books. I will continue to pick up any and all books you throw a keen word toward. Incidentally, I got Di Filippo's "Ribofunk" at the same time as "Lost Pages" and I'm really getting into it.

I don’t know why I don’t enjoy works of alternative history. Maybe it is because these types of works, like sequels and derivative works, are either based on characters/events created by other (more or less talented) people, or are based on real individuals/events. They are not fully realized imaginative works. Everyone already knows the characters or situations, and the writer benefits from this. Like the porn on newsgroups describing the graphic alien tentacle rapes of Agent Scully, or the wonton lesbian activity between Counselor Troy and Doctor Crusher. If the reader hadn’t seen the X-Files or TNG, these works wouldn’t be popular. Or the endless Tolkien-imitative drivel published with the same dwarves, and elves, and orcs living in a perpetual and unimaginative medieval-age.

I pause almost every time I think of little Anne Frank, and what happened to her. The evil times, the heroism of the people who sheltered her, the vile informant...and Anne, who was a much better writer at age 12 than many paid writers today. Plus I'm fascinated with the Holocaust, and Holocaust denial baffles me. I’ve read “The Chronicle of the Lodz Ghetto,” “The Holocaust Chronicle,” “That was Dachau,” (purchased AT Dachau), and I not only got "The Plot" by Will Eisner (another book recommended by YOU), which was dynamite, but a 1934 printing of "The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion," for comparison. So maybe all that affected my attitude toward Di Filippo’s story.

Oh. I intend to finish “The Seven Who Fled,” one day, because it is some of the best writing I’ve ever come across. (In fact, it was YOU who turned me OFF of “The Seven…” because you said they all end up at the same place, and after Leyeville…sheesh! Next time I see you, remind me to smack you upside your head. Id’a finished it if it weren’t for that!)



Rob! Of course your tone came through loud and clear, and no offense was taken. I remember you and the "pack" quite well; we had a good time. Did I tell you John Picacio signed the book I bought from him and inscribed it starting with, "Dear Mr. President...", because the waiter at that not-so-good Mongolian BBQ restaurant thought my profile looked like Clinton?

Regarding IHNMAIMS on MySpace: give the kid a bit of a break. He’s something like 10. Wait till he’s 18 for the evisceration. He doesn’t understand copyright, as it’s not something 21st century parents teach their young.

yours, both of youse, in friendship,

-Keith Cramer (in no way affiliated with Michael Richards or his character).

Copyright and the web
Harlan, it pains me to disagree with you, particularly in this instance, but this stuff doesn't happen less these days. It just happens to _you_ less often. I run two areas on the web for Netscape. The Books and Writers area, unsurprisingly, sees little copyright infringement and a fierce support of creators' rights. But the Politics area is constantly battered with whole articles stuffed into messages. When we're lucky, they have credit lines. Usually, it's just straight plagiarism.

Of course, we pull them all.

Now that I've been a complete downer, here's a bit o' nice stuff. A little web project, with pictures attached to quotations by you, Borges and Amis at: http://www.uweb.ucsb.edu/~hunderwood/1.htm

And an interesting visual take on the Harlequin and the Ticktockman at http://chriscarman.blogspot.com/2006/12/repent-harlequin.html

LOL Larry. Well, it's not funny, when you think about it.

Building a library for Bush isn't any worse than building one for Nixon (yeeech, and we know what Harlan had to say about that), and presidential libraries are becoming a tradition, but I think they should wait until the honoree has been dead a while.

Hmm, maybe if the theocracy thing was more blatant instead of "creeping" people would be scared away from it.

As for speaking Britishly, years ago I watched some of Eastenders when they first showed it in the US. I will never live this down, since my parents have gotten really addicted to the thing and they blame me! They *know* it's stupid (although not stupid the way American soaps are with impossibly beautiful characters who never age past 30 even though they have grown grandchildren. ) Myself, if I get hooked I can get really hooked, but once I lose the habit of something I couldn't care less. Anyway, my father has been picking up Britishisms - he calls his cell phone a mobile, like there's mo-bile in yo liver. Like the Who song "Going Mobile" which came out long ago and has nothing to do with phones.

Kristin

Current reads: TRUE HISTORY OF THE KELLY GANG by Peter Carey, and Harlan's SPIDER KISS

Librarian-in-Chief
Much derisive comment has been made about plans to contruct a $500 million library to the greater glory of President George W. Bush. I confess that there is a certain irony in building a library to honor a president who has rarely, if ever, impressed anyone with his intellectual prowess. When it comes to back slapping, butt patting, and nicknaming, however, I'll grant you he is quite possibly without peer among chief executives.

Rather than a library--which seems laughably inappropriate--I would like to suggest to Bush partisans that they consider other means with which to express their adoration for the eldest spawn of Bar.

Considering the dissipated days of the president's wanton youth, perhaps the "George W. Bush Good Ol' Boy Neocon Saloon" would be more to the point. Or, as he is renown for his faith, the "George W. Bush Fundamentalist Church of Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, Reactionary," might be just the ticket.

Yes, faith is important to the president, as is what he has called his "gut instinct." That being the case, I just hope he never makes a decision while suffering from indigestion--or perhaps he already has, judging from the quagmire in Iraq. Speaking of the latter, the announcement of the "surge" strategy is illustrative of both the presidential gut and faith working in tandem for ... what? Time will tell.

From CBSNews.com: House Speaker Nancy Pelosi, remarking on a conversation she had with President Bush: "He's tried this two times--it's failed twice," the California Democrat said, "I asked him at the White House, 'Mr. President, why do you think this time it's going to work?' And he said, 'Because I told them it had to.'"

"Because I told them it had to."

Thus inspired, our troops will surge to victory.

And we all lived happily ever after, too.

Susan is trying to teach Josh to "speak Britishly."

Her first lesson was this: try to use "wanker" in a sentence as often as possible.

I wash my hands of this. Entirely. Sodd'n wankers!

-he

THE MYSPACE MATTER:

Barney, Bob, Rudy ... hell, anyone who can get to this idiot ...

He has NOT made arrangement to use the story, not through Richard Curtis, nor me, nor ANYone.

It is a piracy.

I have already put my attorney on it. But if he wants to avoid a REAL legal action, have him get to me, and I'll take it from there.

This crap happens less and less these days, but there's always one came-late-to-the-party who simply doesn't understand copyright. That's why I'm here. To educate them. If this guy wants to get educated at a minimal cost to him, get him to me. If he blusters, I'm ready to do to him what I did to all the others ... now upwards of two hundred times ...

Wearily, but feistily, Yr. Pal, Harlan

I wouldn't want to make book on what Harlan doesn't know

Harlan knows the British accent carries over into the written word. If he sees "extra dark" on a hershey bar, he knows it was made in the USA. He knows the British would say "rather dark."

Lost Notes?
I, of course, meant LOST PAGES....

'Anne' and Mr Di Filippo
Ah.

Apologies for perplexing you, Harlan. I was just winding Keith up with my comments on his 'revelation' (we met up again at Mini-Con last year, and had a whale of a time). I started the message with a 'Hey Kosmo' - my nickname for him - and ended with a 'smiley icon', in an attempt to demonstrate to him that I was only kidding.

Having looked it over again, I can see that it may have been open to misinterpretation. Sorry....hope you took it in the spirit with which it was intended, Mr C.

And I look forward to receiving LOST NOTES toot sweet, Harlan. I've just started on TIME'S BLACK LAGOON - will let you know how I get on.

Cheers
Rob

Hell with that humble shit, I want to see Ellison on the bestseller listings, babeee. I want to see that documentary do for Harlan what Bowling For Columbine did for Mikey Moore. I want to see pigs fly and kittens sing like Sinatra. I want Britney to cover her cooch and Lindsay Lohan to quit drinking the damn mouthwash they put in her dressing room. I want love for humanity and hate for Rush, Hannity and Ann Coulter. I want universal peace and Donald Trump to get shot dead by Rosie; but she gets away with it in court, because of all those neato liberal judges the conservative fucks just hate to pieces. I want...ah, fuck, I want...Simmons is a good start.

----------

Speaking of Rush-- In the nation there is a review of several lefty books, the writer of the review makes a good point: "Rush Limbaugh is not dangerous because he is a right wing moron, he is dangerous because he is a moron. Karl Rove isn't dangerous because he is a right wing liar, he is dangerous because he is a liar." The left needs to remember that, then we might get more converts.

The Story on MySpace
In addition to the overall error of posting it in the first place, there's at least 3 others I can spot...

1. "A Short Story from Sci-Fi (sic) Author Harlan Ellison"

2. This "reprint" contains none of the symbols that appear in the story. Making it a bastardized abridged version. Not to mention the centered formatting.

3. "Reprinted with permission of, and by arrangement with, the Author and the Author's agent, Richard Curtis Associates, Inc." -- I suppose that's possible, but oh, the odds.

Presuming this was an honest mistake, this might be an opportunity to educate this guy about the aol lawsuit.

I need to go re-read the actual story now, while physically holding the actual purchased volume in my hands. Good way to spend a Sunday, anyway.

Re: Dan Simmons
It's wonderful to see Dan Simmons on the bestseller list with "The Terror". The man is a ferocious writer, simply amazing. My personal favorites from his work include the novels "Song of Kali", "The Hollow Man", and "Phases of Gravity", the "Lovedeath" collection, "Carrion Comfort", and the new novel, of course. I haven't yet read "Olympus", but it's on my list. And that first big story, "The River Styx Runs Upstream", co-winner of that Twilight Zone short story contest from eons ago, still knocks me on my ass.

A wonderful writer. Thank you, Harlan, for your helping hand in bringing him to us.

From word and image to sound and image: today, New York Times runs a fine profile if Il Maestro, Ennio Morricone.

Who will be making his American symphony debut this year, at age 78.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/28/arts/music/28pare.html

Can anyone here think of Howard's Conan stories without flashing on the Frazetta covers?

THAT was the perfect fusion of word and image.

As a follow-on to the dungeon crawl and Conan stories mentioned below, there is George RR Martin's "Song of Ice and Fire". Dear Jesus, please let him live long enough to finish his gorgeous sprawl of an epic. In keeping that fat Gordian knot of extended and divergent plot lines so tight, riveting and mutually relevant he creates a series that takes your breath away on craft alone.

The "I HAVE NO MOUTH..." story on MySpace
I just sent that guy a private message warning him that the copyright notice does nothing to protect him and that he might want to think about taking that down ASAP. Nothing inflammatory, pretty much just that. Gave him my name, mentioned the board here, that's about it.

- Barney

Easytofind, PA.

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=78385948

re: Simmons and bestseller status
Hey HARLAN: I saw that: first number 14 on PW and then the NYTimes, etc. Too bad his last publisher didn't give Ilium and Olympos a bigger push. They both made it onto the NYtimes "extended bestseller list" even without a good push from the publisher (and I bet the editor at that publishing house who that passed on The Terror is kicking her or himself right now). --DTS

Anne
Ya wanna know how good "Anne" is? It appeared in the first issue of SCIENCE FICTION AGE. I also had a story in that issue. Never mind which story, suffice it to say that it was a big deal for me. Once I read "Anne," however, that issue was not my brag object, but my prompt to to show off "Anne" to anybody who would sit still. It had driven me to a silent, dumbstruck shock. And forget the fact that "Anne's" identity is obvious from the first line -- the first page of the story came opposite a full-page illustration of Anne Frank as Dorothy. That was a far bigger giveaway. But the story had riches that went beyond the initial "gimmick." It needed to, to justify where it went. And it kept delivering.

Coolness for Dan Simmons.

Had to see, professionally, one of the worst movies I have ever seen in a theatre. EPIC MOVIE. My eyeballs bled.

Hey, Harlan: Judi wants to pass on her thanks for the recommendation on Sugar In the Raw. We have completely cut the blue stuff out of our diet, and continue passing on the word.

WTF?

http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=42478956&blogID=218342553

Rudy

On TSR paperbacks and Two-Gun Bob.
Steve, I too remember the fun of the early Salvatore stuff. I savored Icewind Dale and the Underdark Trilogy (I think that's what it was called) with zest. To this day I've got a soft spot for the Dragonlance paperbacks by Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman. . .well, up until DRAGONS OF SUMMER FLAME. Hurgh. . .I'll never get that time back. But Dragonlance up until that point was the most fun I'd ever had reading fantasy. This was pre-Moorcock or Leiber, but there was a sense of fun to those early books--Chronicles and Legends--that really spoke to me in high school. They put me on the path, and I actually enjoyed them a lot more than I did Lord of the Rings.

Yeah that's right, I said it. You want world building on a massive and impressive scale, with intricately wrought backstory and detail? Tolkien's the innovator and originator, no doubt. You want books that'll keep you up well past bedtime flipping pages? Dragonlance. CHRONICLES and LEGENDS. Give 'em a try, or better, buy them for a youngster in your family. I heartily endorse all six books as kick ass. Also both TALES series, THE LEGEND OF HUMA by Richard A. Knaak, THE BLACK WING by Mary Kirchoff, and THE SECOND GENERATION by Weiss and Hickman. Avoid Summer Flame and what came after. Heartache will find you. You've been warned.

Kim, I love Howard's writings beyond all the telling of it. So much so I wrote in his style for a story that's to be published in THRILLING ADVENTURES, an anthology of pulp stories being produced by my friend Barry Reece. I read and pored over my copy of THE COMING OF CONAN THE CIMMERIAN to make it as authentic as I could. Mayhap you might even peruse the tome yourself and give me an opinion of my success ratio? *activates Bambi eyes*

But yeah, Howard's energy was amazing. True, the Conan stories could get a bit repetitive, and Howard was way too in love with the word 'thews', but he created a character that was far more than the monosyllabic he-man stereotype of the Schwarzenegger movies. Howard's bleak worldview gave the Conan stories a mournful undertone that a lot of people tend to miss amidst the cliches that those who followed him and attempted to 'improve' his writings and place them in some kind of rigid continuity (something Howard didn't want; he expected his Conan tales to be of a nonlinear style, as if King Conan was regaling Bob with his stories and Bob was putting pen to paper). And let's not even start on Red Sonja, no matter how beguiling Wendy Pini might have been in the mail or what cover Frank Cho might create for Mike Oeming's run. . .that way lies madness. A madness that might be easy on the eye, but you know what I'm driving at.

I'm more a Solomon Kane fan than I am of Conan, but these new editions of his unaltered work have me interested. I'm planning on picking up the Kull paperback from my local Chapters next payday.

I love talking books we find fun.

Stacy

Robert E. Howard
Robert E. Howard was sui generis. Unique, I tell you. A god. Look up storyteller and they ought to have his photo next to the definition.

Yeah, I'm slightly in love with the big lug.

I even wrote a screenplay of his life, "Warrior of Cross-Plains". I wanted to show him in a better light than the estimable "The Whole Wide World". I liked "TWWW", by the way. It's just that it's Novalyne Price's view of Howard, and thus not the whole story.

I do like Van Vogt's stories. Most of my trouble with the old stuff's style is because it's old stuff, and styles change.

Harlan, I completely forgot that you essentially gave us Dan Simmons. Dude, Just how many mitzvah's can you perform, ltterarily speaking? You got more in that bag of tricks? Oh, and please get that review published. They're already talking up "Doc Oral and his Strange John" as a Harry Potter type, which means the movie will be, no doubt, oozing onto screens shortly. We need that review out in the world to slow this juggernaut.

KOS

Stacy, funny you should mention R.A Salvatore. "The Icewind Dale" trilogy was one of the highlights of my childhood. But by the time I was twelve, I was sick and tired of the formula, and by the time I was thirteen, I had turned on him to show everyone how sophistocated I was.

Today, I cannot abide his work, or indeed anyone else in that subgenre, not even as a nostalgic exercise.

But I'm gratefull for those long action filled nights reading under the covers.


Many of the early writers were rough and unpolished. Most of them came from science rather than literary backgrounds. Despite all the hype, I could not get past the first couple chapters of "Skylark from Space". It was just simply awfull.
And Edgar Rice Bouroughs was just atrocious. He took me to some amazing places when I was young. But they say you can never go back. Last year I tried to read "Pellucidar", and it was painful.


Some of course were better than others. I think Hamilton was pretty good. And though it's crossing genres, I think Robert E. Howard was incredibly good at what he did. And he didn't live a day past thirty. It's enough to make a young man feel inadequate.

-Steve E.

In case no one happened to glom it, my boy Dan Simmons made it onto the bestseller list this week with THE TERROR.

I couldn't be more prouder than.

-he

Yowza.
HARLAN: Strong words sir. Helps me put 'Bad DC Sergeant Rock Comic in Space' in perspective. Heh, I kid, I kid. . .

I wouldn't say I'm a 'slovenly' reader per se, but I do know what I enjoy and tend to gravitate to it. Some days I'm in the mood for some Joe Landsdale or Marc Frost, others I enjoy rereading my Campell. And, yes, sometimes I enjoy reading the odd Star Wars paperback. Don't be lookin' at me like that. I may not know art, but I know. . .dude, I said stop -looking- at me like that. Sheesh.

I wouldn't go out of my way to call any writer a 'bad' writer, being a polite young non-insane Catholic boy. I will say that any work by R.A. Salvatore does tend to make me grind my teeth a little. Yes, his dark elf character seemed pretty cool. . .right up until the point I read ELRIC: SONG OF THE BLACK SWORD and realized the serial numbers on Moorcock's creation had been filed off and repackaged for the MTV generation. His Woods out Back series was so bad, so very bad, I couldn't finish the first book. I just put it down and let it gather dust.

But I digress. I just finished Palmotti and Gray's Daughters of the Dragon trade. Quite fun, if a little bit more cheesecake than I was expecting. Still, fun was had beating up Marvel villain third-stringers with cinematic kung-fu badassness, so I'm enjoying the ride. Next up, Fallen Angel volume two.

Stacy

Kim wrote: "Van Vogt was a wild dreamer, full of ideas, but the style, the characters, the dialogue are just atrocious."

I really enjoy his style, his storytelling, his dialogue, and his characters - when he wrote ISHER he was in full control of his craft and knew what he was doing. I would hate for the major Van Vogt novels to be written in compliance with modern notions of "good style". The stories either have an effect on you or not.

I am emphatically not a scholar of the history and development of science fiction and fantasy, but my reading experience suggests that van Vogt, Doc Smith, (early) Heinlein, (early) Asimov, del Rey, Silverberg, Vance and the other writers that ushered in the Golden Age were quickly and iteratively sketching out the very foundation lines of a completely new genre. Their stories were often raw, but so is child birth - and I’m not sure the two events are that far removed from one another. They are both creative in the most profound sense, and also very messy.

Within ten or fifteen years of the creation of this new genre, many of the same writers were turning out the polished master-pieces that endure to this day. I’m thinking of works like “Childhood’s End”, “The Foundation Trilogy”, Anderson’s “Broken Sword”, etc.

I still love reading Doc Smith! True, LeGuin beats him blind in the matters of style and narrative power, but she has the advantage of standing on the shoulders of those that came before.

For what it's worth, knowing the subject of "Anne" is Anne Frank actually makes me more, not less, interested in the story.

Perhaps Mr. Di Filippo posited a kinder fate for her than she experienced in our reality. I can't wait to find out.

Another line from my review of JONATHAN LIVINGSTON STRANGEGULL & MR. DOORBELL:

"To be honest, I simply cannot financially afford to continue reading Ms. Clarke's repeated attempts to club the English language into Silly Putty. The cost of Spackling Compound alone, to repair the walls whereat I flang this coprolith of rodomontade, has set fair to bankrupting me."

And that was when I was being NICE.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

Shit.

I'm an idiot.

That's "Di Filippo," not "De Filippo."

My apologies.

-he, not hi

ROB:

I'm perplexed at your comment. The value (the point? the reveal? the gimmick?) of "Anne" was no secret, was NEVER a "gotcha." Yes, it's Anne Frank. So what? Why would knowing that element--Paul De Filippo makes it obvious in the first few paragraphs--cause you to cancel your order?

"Anne" isn't an O. Henry "gotcha," twist-in-the-poisoned-tail tale, it's a fuckin heartbreaker of a "what-if" story that says more about the Human Condition and Destiny than all of the Hawthorne I've ever read.

I'm mildly saddened that Keith Cramer was disappointed in the story, as well as having lost interest in THE SEVEN WHO FLED after the Layeville section but, lo and behold, that's what we call differences of perception/opinion, etc. It just means we respond differently to different stuff. He's a smart reader, Keith is, and nowhichway one of the "slovenly readers" -- he just didn't respond to those two items as strongly as did I.

But such comments from either of us shouldn't mislead you about De Filippo, who knocks my socks off time after time after ...

Yr. Pal, Harlan

Harlan, don't post the review. Get paid for it. I'd love to read it, but that doesn't mean you gotta give it away.

Lost Pages
Hey Kosmo!

After Harlan recommended Paul Di Filippo's 'Anne' to us, I bought LOST PAGES on the net, but have yet to receive it. However, as you've hinted as to who 'Anne' is (and it's not too hard to work out now), I'll probably cancel my order.

Loose lips sink ships...... : )

Rob E.

I read books that I don't agree with because I do not believe I am wise enough as to know all the truth.

Even Socrates knew he was not that wise.

I've been re-reading the Science Fiction Hall of Fame, and am amazed at just how bad the writing is in so many of the classics. The ideas are wild and great, but so much of the writing just is kim-chi gone bad. "The Weapon Shops of Isher" that I read from that volume just yesterday for example. Van Vogt was a wild dreamer, full of ideas, but the style, the characters, the dialogue are just atrocious.

There's a category for listing: Your favorite bad writer. Many/most(?) of us have them, the scrivener who cannot type their way out of the proverbial wet paper bag but you still like their stuff.

Mine would be Edgar Rice Burroughs. An incredible storyteller trapped inside a room with flocked purple wallpaper and velvet matador paintings, lava lamp in the corner and a black light in the ceiling. But lying on the suede sofa is a half-naked martian princess with bazonga's the size of casaba's (Barsoomians must be monotremes, since they lay eggs but have breasts). Dejah Thoris alone makes the bad writing worthwhile.

Harlan: I second the notion of your posting the review here if it is possible. I also confess to being very curious now about Doc Savage and Lester Norrell. I would never have given it a moments thought until you began to tell how bad it is. Now I want to compare my taste to yours. It's like a chance to tune one's guitar to Django's; he's left it lying on the bar for a minute while he and Bijou grab a quick one on the terrace.

"like lemmings...auctorial catastrophe..." I love literary trainwrecks, we does, we does!

KOS

I'd say most Americans are slovenly readers in their inability to read into government and corporate propaganda, which rules the roost at the moment. Idealism plays a large part in this, plus an odd trust of leaders, even though in polls the masses say they do not trust leaders--so goes the art of not looking at the log in your own eye.

I've been a lazy reader, but only because the internet burns the hell out of my eyes and I cannot read whole books on this damn thing. No excuse, just giving the goat entrails to the seer.

----------

There should never be and there is no valid thing called a readers canon; read what you like, preferably stuff with a strong story and strongly written.

I usually read stuff I agree with because I already know the lies by heart; why waste my time on dumb ideas. Chomsky did teach me that. You don't see him reading Readers Digest.

-----

Chris Hitchens has a piece in Slate where he called Saddam's execution a "lynching." I tell ya, that boy does good every full moon. The bug juice must be at parade rest.

I picked up the copy of the Comic Buyer's Guide I ordered at my comic book store which included the current info about Dream Corricor plus the short article by Harlan. Very cool. I can hardly wait for the arrival of this new issue of Dream
Corridor which also sounds like the last issue to be published. I also just finished rereading my new copy of "Spider Kiss". It is still an awesome read on the 3rd or 4th time I have now read this book. Next to read "Fall of Knight" by Peter David the 3rd in his King Arthur series. Will "Fingertips in the Sky", which is currently posted in amazon.com as being released on 4/30/2007, be the next new release on the horizon for us Ellison afficianados? Inquiring minds would like to know. Thank you.
Roger

Humble Correction
Anne was at Bergen-Belsen. I'm going to Bergen-Belsen in rememberance. I'm going to Auschwicz-Birkenau to see the gas chambers. Not on the same trip. There's only so much I can take.

-Keith

Regarding JONATHAN STRANGE & MR. NORRELL: I couldn't finish it. Even more than the egregrious prose Harlan mentions, there seemed to be no point to the entire thing.

Unfortunately, I also had to give up on Cormac McCarthy's THE ROAD when it became apparent there was no story and precious little characterization. I'm amazed how many good reviews it's getting. Did anyone else find it an absolute chore to plow through?

the 3 R's: reading, reading and reading
Just finished "Missing Mom," by Joyce Carol Oates. I liked it so much shortly after I began reading it, I bought a copy for my sister, and she enjoyed it, too. Great book. She's an amazing writer.

Harlan has recommended "The Seven Who Fled," by Frederic Prokosch, and I tried to read it. Got through the Leyeville section, and lost steam. Wonderful, beautiful writing. Depressing end of the section. It stopped me cold.

HOWEVER, "The Asiatics" by Prokosch took me about a year to read, and I devoured every bit of it, and wanted more. One of the best books I've ever read. Took a long time to get through it because, sadly, I am a Man of Small Brain, as my hero, Winnie the Pooh, would say. Prokosch writes with such an eye for descriptive detail I would literally gape at the page, drool pooling at my lower lip; and I found myself re-reading most sections again and again to discover more little details. I even read parts of it out loud to my girlfriend, because the book begged me to.

I also just got "Lost Pages" by Paul Di Filippo, and read "Anne" which Harlan recently recommended here with such brio, and was disappointed. Also read a few other stories. Also not to my taste. I don't know...maybe alternate reality isn't my bag. I didn't need my memory of Anne corrupted that way. I'm going to The Netherlands this year, and I intend to visit the museum in Amsterdam. Next time I'm in Germany, probably next year, I'm going to pay my respects at Auschwitz-Birkenau.

-Keith

reading habits

:: Next on the list is Mikhail Bulgakov 'The Master & Margarita'.

Oboy, are you in for a treat! One of a very few books I've read more than twice (and there haven't been all that many more I've read more than once).

Make sure you have one of the recent translations, and not either of the two older ones -- the adequate Mirra Ginsburg or the inferior Michael Glenny.

John Greenawalt asked about "slovenly reading." I couldn't find the original reference, so I'm not sure what somebody else might have meant by it, but to me, slovenly reading means:

-- reading something only because lots of other folks are reading it
-- never investigating multiple sources of information on/reviews of new books
-- only reading books whose viewpoints you find agreeable
-- never taking any notes or discussing the content of the books you read with other people
-- reading only "page turners," rather than difficult books in the genres you love

HARLAN:

Is there anything preventing you from posting the entire Strange Norrell review here on Webderland? Or are you still looking for a professional outlet for the piece? I've been enjoying the passages you've shared so far . . . although a full-on slam might make me slightly MORE likely to read the book than the fitful urges I've had so far, just to see how closely my own judgments match yours.

My fiction reading has gone downhill considerably over the years. The last recently published book I read was Theodore Roszack's Flickers. Think thats bad, there's a personally signed hardback of Umberto Eco's "The Island of the Day Before" which is still unread 11 years after meeting the author.

Memorable reads from last year for me were Andres Malraux 'Man's Fate' (it was reccomended to me by one of Bertolucci's collaborators), re-reading a lot of Dostovesky and find myself flicking through Moby Dick and The Mysterious Stranger during quiet moments.

Next on the list is Mikhail Bulgakov 'The Master & Margarita'. My fiction reccomendation to folks in 2006 consisted of Vladimir Nabokov's 'Pale Fire' and 'The Essential Ellison'. This year I'm going to have to read a book about Glass dream eaters which a friend wrote.

My non-fiction reading shelf though keeps piling up with texts. That has to be remedied.

FAQ

Slovenly reading...How do I know if I'm doing it if I don't know what it is?

STACY: Save yourself a headache and a horrendous schlep up a molehill of bathetic prose: shun DR. STRANGE & MR. NORRELL as if it came with a tsunami warning.

(Yes, I know it's JONATHAN, not DR., but you heave insults your way, and I'll heave them in mine.)

Another line from my review, the one the LA Times wouldn't run:

"The multisyllabic words of this wretched excess of a novel do not so much 'leap off the page' as they hurl themselves in suicidal lemminglike frenzy to absent themselves from the scene of an auctorial disaster."

(And even THAT wasn't as nasty as I got.)

Wishing you well, I remain, Yr. Pal, Harlan

KEVIN AVERY: Sorry, no.

-he

birthdays
happy 102nd birthday tomorrow to great character actor charles lane and 50th to my sister, genius architect and kidney transplant recipient, mariellyn zeock ( 6 years and counting-knock yggdrassill).

Fashionably late to the party.
Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrel is one of those books that people keep telling me I 'have' to read, which only makes me dig my heels in further in my desire to remain rebel and underground even as I chug into my early thirties. I'm sure I'll get to it and be blown away, much as I am right now with Heinlein's Glory Road, or the Harry Potter books. What can I say, I'm just naturally finicky.

Seems these days that time moves so frickin' fast I can barely keep up with the growing stack that is my read pile now. I've got Glory Road, then Gaiman's American Gods to get through for my book club, then I'll launch into Wylie's Gladiator (a book I've been meaning to read for a while but only just managed to snag a copy), and then--finally!--I'll launch into Paul Malmont's The Chinatown Death Cloud Peril, which I've been dying to read but have sworn to get through my other obligations first. It's killing me though, the title alone keeps drawing me in like moth to flame. Must. . .resist!

And that's not even counting the trade paperbacks I've gotten lately; the Busiek/Johns collaboration on Superman: Up, Up, and Away, Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmotti on Daughters of the Dragon, and Peter David's second Fallen Angel trade from DC Comics.

I think it might be in all our best interests to just schedule a mass read-in. No press, no fanfare, we all just pick a spot and a chunk of days and just all congregate for a couple days and read. Who's with me?

Stacy

Lumleyishness
How appropriate that my worst book ever finished is by someone with whom Harlan has a "history". At least I surmise as much from Adam-Troy Castro's remarks on Lumley below.

I did not know Harlan had minimal awareness of Lumley's existence. Silly me, thinking/hoping Lumley is/was but a rather minor bad writer, one of the many that DAW and LASER uncovered in the seventies (actually LASER uncovered more good writers than bad, like Tim Powers, but that's another story).

I second that emotion about a collection of Harlan's literary criticism and/or reviews. I add a desire to see his collected music criticism. I still recall a lovely 1976 edition of, IIRC, DeLaps Science Fiction Review that had a cover story titled "The Sounds of Science Fiction" with Harlan pictured on the cover. HE had a review therein of the firstAlan Parson's Project album "Tales of Mysery and Imagination" which prompted me to obtain said vinyl immediately. "Tales etc" is right up there with "Dark Side of the Moon" as one of the most jaw-dropping aural experiences I've ever had on first listening.

What can you say about a man who provides you with the reading experience of a lifetime in DV, then the listening experience of a lifetime by recc'ing a composition, then provides you with the "performance" experience of a lifetime by sitting in a plastic pyramid in a Phoenix hotel for the best part of a week in summer cracking jokes, singing Broadway tunes and smoothly flirting with every woman that passed by while also writing and taping to the wall a short story that made you despair of ever being more than a typing gorilla when compared to the best you could write? Oh, and then he writes "Paladin of the Lost Hour" and gives you the dramatic experience of a lifetime? Shit, man, stop already, you're KILLING me! What's left, culinary? Sexual? Religous? Does Harlan cook a mean ratatouille? I don't want to go there!

What can one say, except "thank you, fellow (relatively) hairless bipedal ape person". Thank you.

Do check out "The Aristocrats" for a great analysis of what a joke is, why we laugh, and why numour is best when leavened with darkness.

KOS

Paul Nelson
Harlan, I'm editing/writing a book (anthology/biography) about the critic Paul Nelson, who (with Jon Pankake) published THE LITTLE SANDY REVIEW in the early Sixties, then edited SING OUT! up until Dylan went electric; from there he went on to become an editor at ROLLING STONE. I was curious if you and he ever crossed paths during your New York Days.

Lamented Out of Print books
Lamented OOP books: it wasn't a classic, and might've been written under a pseudonym, but one of the books (with missing covers) that I fished out of a box brought home and tossed to me by a parent was a ha