Unca Harlan's Art Deco Dining Pavilion

Archive - 06/06/2006 to 08/07/2006

Unca Harlan's Art Deco Dining Pavilion

HARLAN


Thanks,bruh. I'll keep an eye on for the cross-eyed budgerigar or whatever the hell undulatus (or otherwise) you chose to enlist.

I'll soon enough make good on the White Castle IOU and then we'll be flying.

Rick

Hmmmm....

"... but I'm no-price for their Spielberg/Lucas/anybody but Ellison Wall of Great SF Machers."


Hmm.

Hmmm, I say. Hmmm...

(It seems to me, great unwashed Ty-d-bol-tinted simians, that's there's a cause to be had.)

Mr. Allen. Are you lisnin'?


I'm just sayin'...



(Rick, a thousand abeyances.)

TWO REPLIES AND A SIS-BOOM-BAH !!!!!

RICK KEENEY:

Patience, lad; patience. For five bucks, we sent it via a lame, strobismic parakeet, painfully dragging the box behind him, portage. Our PO is one of the two best in all of the USA (by actual yearly stats), and NEVER loses anything. For a short while, till I caught him, there WAS a guy at the regional sorting complex who was regularly pilfering every third or fourth large envelope of Marvel Comics sent to me, but it was my Sherman Oaks PO staff that helped me pull his covers and lay him by the heels.

So, as I say ... patience. It'll show.

TO THOSE WHO VISITED THE SF MUSEUM & HALL OF FAME
and found me conspicuously missing. Yeah...well...

Long story. Don't get me fulminating on this one. Suffice to say, I'm princely enough for them to ask me to be a "Director" (or whatever the figurehead title is), to drive me nuts with the hustle for my typewriter, one of my early stories, my photos and a "long borrow" on Alfred Bester's Grand Master icon entrusted to me by Alfie via Julie Schwartz ... but I'm no-price for their Spielberg/Lucas/anybody but Ellison Wall of Great SF Machers. I've never even been inside the joint.

Don't get me started on this. I choose to stay calm these days.

Yr. pal, Harlan

For Harlan,if you get it in time & if you haven't already seen it
http://www.sundancechannel.com/docday/?sst&attr=MON_text

But I'm sure there will be repeats....

Some sageful passages as the following from VINTAGE FRANK raised the comparison:

"I mentioned earlier that some extreme elements in Hizbollah (sic) don't want Israel to exist. Most are willing to bend, if Israel stops blocking the peace process, like they have been doing for near 35 years...Also remember that Israel wants to destroy Islam"

YOU be the judge.

I should add, it is a statistical fact that the LOWEST ranks among ranting, imbalanced homeless people haven't the ability to spell "compared".

A Heaven-Sent "Churchism"
ALL: Last week, I stepped on the toes of Salman Rushdie.

(Rick, I promise not to purposely abuse your rules and site in the future, but I just _had_ to use this opportunity to report the above, since the simple fact truly sounds as if it came from ether-region inspired pen of one F. Church).
--DTS (G'Night Webderlanders, G'Night Moon)

Somebody just compaired the leading historian in Israel to a raving homeless man. I think I need to lay my head down.

http://www.zap2it.com/tv/news/zap-mastersofsciencefictioncast,0,248925.story Check out hthis story.

Adam-Troy and others:
Thanks for the comments on King. Boy did I blow it. Bought Katie a copy of Eyes of the Dragon on the way home from work Friday. Showed her my post and your answers. Thanks again from us both. By the way, for the non-fiction she is reading one of the biographies of Richard Feynman. She liked the movie on him with Matthew Broderick and when I told her I had many books on and by him she wanted to read one. Needless to say makes ol' Dad (who majored in Physics) a wee bit happy.
Stan:
Went on an Alaska cruise last month with the Prairie Home Companion people. Had a great time. Cruise started and ended in Seattle and I was also able to check out the SF museum. I had not even known about it until it was pointed out on a bus tour.
One interesting item that still sticks in my mind is a pair of letters, each listing about 20 authors. One states basically "We the below named believe the US should continue to fight Communism wherever it is found" or words to that effect. The other states that the below named believe the US should not be fighting in Southeast Asia. I don't remember the date or all the names, but I'm pretty sure I saw Asimov and Ellison on the "Get the Hell Out" page.
I also recommend the museum to any who are in town and have a couple hours. In the Seattle Center, by the Space Needle. Next door to what looked like an interesting music museum that I didn't have time to check out.
Good day to all,
Tom Morgan

HARLAN

It's been awhile, still no Hogan package. May want to check your records.

Dig it,
Rick

"Sorry for spoiling the SS surprise..."

Himmler's going to jump out of a cake?

==
"Interesting political news that broke on Friday that has been mentioned, only briefly, on CNN. "

Jack Cafferty was pretty much the only one to mention the news. Nobody else on CNN touched that story. Nobody on MSNBC, Fox, or other tv news outlets touched that story. Of course this weekend, one couldn't find a news outlet that didn't cover Castro's health. Priorties, priorities. Hey, imagine the headlines of Castro fell into a persistent vegetative state.

==
Spielberg has expressed support for Ah-nold's reelection. What a creep.

My sweetie is wiser than me and so when she drags me to a movie she generally turns out to be right in her choices. (Never mind AEON FLUX, can't be right all the time.)

Anyway, thanks to decades of abuse the idea of a "road movie" does not fill me with excitement. (Even Bob Hope was always more amusing than funny to me.)

Anyway, go see LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE. There's not a false note or a mistep in it. Poignant, wise, funny as hell.

Those of you who, like me, lament the fact that good science fiction movies (being defined as movies that are really good, and are really SF) are extremely rare, may wish to learn that Geoff Murphy's THE QUIET EARTH from 1985 has been issued in a nice DVD package.

Any ULTRAMAN fans out there? Well they went and issued the first season of the original run on DVD. Of course the argument could be made that 20 episodes is a bit much for what is essentially the same episode week after week, but if you got to be convinced of ULTRAMAN's appeal then this ain't for you. Guess you had to be there.

I was.

Creepy

Just three weeks ago I was quoting that line from ROMANCING THE STONE to describe a small town of Copala in Mexico. Two weeks ago the film ran on cable. One week ago a friend used exactly the same quote to tease another friend. And now it creeps onto the Pavilion.

Is it that the line is so engrained in our culture, or are there mysterious forces at work in an effort to sell a few more dvds???
_____________________________________________

Happy to hear that the health of Mr Dennehy is sound and simply a trick of the camera. Like Rob, I'd last seen him in DEATH OF A SALESMAN. (Rob, was the role of his wife played by the astounding Elizabeth Franz as on Broadway? Truly staggering performance.)
_____________________________________________

I would like to make it brutally clear that, despite my at-times inopportune relationship to all things telecom, that I have absolutely nothing to do with the insipid ringtone posts. I would like the opportunity to shoot said person -- and I don't mean with my trusty Nikons. IMHO.

Got it, Harlan!
HARLAN: We're square; er, make that cool. And I'm expecting lotsa Emmy nominations -- not to mention a WGA nod -- for the episode you and Josh put together for Masters of SF (including an Emmy nomination for Best Unrecognizable Author/Extra).

Hoping this finds you and The Electric Baby doing well.
--(THE) Dorman T. Shindler (next time you say that on the phone, you _have_ to adopt the accent of Alfonso Arau in "Romancing the Stone," when he greets Michael Douglas and Katherine Turner at the door to his getaway/hacienda in South America).

Nips and astronauts


Not sure when or why Kurosawa came up again, but A-T C doesn't have the title of the dual biography quite right: It's _The Emperor and the Wolf: the lives and films of Akira Kurosawa and Toshiro Mifune_.

I wrote a review on Amazon as soon as it came out, which you can find here, third review down on the page (yes, yes, I know the director's name is missing from the first sentence):

http://www.amazon.com/gp/cdp/member-reviews/A3UPFTGAWZ3G2R/103-1853008-1173416?ie=UTF8&display=public&page=2

There's a GREAT photo in there of Mifune driving off the set, in his Sanjuro samurai costume, in an MG.

Scott Carpenter mentioned "blewp bleep" from the first book; I remember the column you're talking about. Have to check my notes on that.

Sorry for spoiling the SS surprise, Harlan.....but Shane only seems to pop on this board every once in awhile. Maybe he will have missed Josh's photos and my response.

Either way, I'm sure he will be tickled pink!

-TODD

Adam-Troy Castro:

I read the biography over a long road trip. There's enough detail to get lost in-- it almost serves as a "Who's Who" of Japanese film at the time. It's been a bit since I skimmed Stephen Prince's THE WARRIOR'S CAMERA, but it will probably be next on my list. At the time, I thought Prince focused too much on filmmaking mechanics, but after hearing his commentaries, it made sense.

A new two-disk set of SEVEN SAMURAI is due out September 6. I'm gonna have to get it AGAIN! I think it has more commentaries-- though Michael Jeck's was superb-- and an episode from a series Japanese television ran on Kurosawa called IT IS WONDERFUL TO CREATE. I believe they've cleaned up the transfer as well.

Now, if they'd just get 'round to releasing DRUNKEN ANGEL...

I believe the film about idealism would probably be THE QUIET DUEL, which I've never seen. I don't think it was released in a handy VHS format even back in the day. Home Vision Entertainment released a trio of rarer films on VHS just before DVD became dominant enough to squelch production: SCANDAL, I LIVE IN FEAR and DRUNKEN ANGEL. No QUIET DUEL. Not yet. It took Criterion forever to get Mizoguchi's UGETSU out, so I don't know the odds on an obscure early Kurosawa film.

Various
The Kurosawa / Mifune bio is THE DRAGON AND THE WOLF by Stuart Galbraith IV. He had wanted to write two separate bios but found their lives so intertwined it would have been redundant.

Among the grin-inducing wonders on every page: Mifune didn't want to act and almost rejected his first starring role, accepting it only when the director agreed to buy him a suit. An early Kurosawa film about self-sacrifice and leading a self-effacing life led much of the cast to quit acting in a fit of idealism.

And following the war, Toho studios were occupied by Americans, there to make sure the moviemakers didn't engage in pro-imperial propaganda. They paid only average attention to rising young director Kurosawa, not thinking him anything special.

Years later, the now-venerated Kurosawa visited Hollywood and met one of the Americans who had kept an eye on him. John Ford said hi.

Cool stuff...!

I just posted some lengthy comments, too long to fit here, about the restoration of Jack Ketchum's novel's OFF-SEASON, but some of you may find 'em interesting. If not, please ignore...!

http://webnews.sff.net/read?cmd=read&group=sff.people.adam-troy-castro&artnum=17346

According to IMDB, Sylvester Stallone is 5'10". Since those reports always exaggerate height by an inch or two, the figure Rich listed sounds about right.

Interesting political news that broke on Friday that has been mentioned, only briefly, on CNN. The Democrats on the Judiciary Committee issued a report, written by Rep. Jon Conyers, that details all of the illegal activities of the current Administration.

The report is lengthy (350 pages), but there is a handy 4 page summary that can be accessed.

Here is the link:

http://www.house.gov/judiciary_democrats/iraqrept2.html

"...realizing that the giant Russian boxer from Rocky 4 was barely my height, which makes Sylvester Stallone.... kinda short."

William Goldman recounts a time when he was hanging by the pool and noticed Sly splashing about. Goldman (who is tall) says he's fascinated by movie stars' height so he went into the pool and stayed in there until Sly got out. Goldman says he got as close to Sly as possible without being too obtrusive just to do the height comparison. Goldman said something like if Sly is more than 5'8" or so he'd be surprised.

Of course, Goldman also says he likes to follow the lead actors around when he's on set just to gauge reaction from passersby. So he sounds kinda crazy. But a helluva writer.

THE DISCARDED
Good to see Josh's photos of THE DISCARDED.

Also good to see both John Hurt & Brian Dennehy together.

Of course, I recently saw Mr Hurt on stage in KRAPP'S LAST TAPE, and Mr Dennehy on stage in DEATH OF A SALESMAN.

Ah, the perils and pitfalls of living in London.....

Rob

SEATTLE VACATION
Just got back from Seattle, Harlan. Visited the SCIENCE FICTION HALL OF FAME & MUSEUM...very impressive...indeed! Only thing missing in the wall of Hall of Famers was of course....YOU! The whole thing was well worth the nearly thirteen bucks for admission. Especially the mimeographed copies of the fanzines written in the 50's and 60's. Ugh! Those damned hills...just as rough and steep as those in San Francisco...har har. Oh well...I liked it and plan to go back there again. The displays, artistic mag art drawings by Emshwiller and Freas and others...yep...it was worth the nearly thirteen bucks.

Harlan wins a lot of awards

I never won an award for anything. But I once got a commendation from the state attorney general's office. It read: "Investigations like this are made possible by people like you."

Webe chillin, Harla -- but the temps in KC, 102, R fuckin HOT!!!!
HARLAN: Haven't gone to pick up mail from the PO, but I'm sure it's there (and I'll drop a note tomorrow when I do).
As for we bein cool, shit, man we wuz cool back when plaid pants wuz stylin. Later, muh may-yuuun! (time fer a shower and sleep -- 12 hours of drivin yesterday, 13 today -- I'm zonked!)
--Dorman
P.S. I thought that "F&SF" story in the Sept issue was going to be "Pet" -- that's what I get for pre-zooomin, huh? Picked up the issue on the way into KC -- can't wait to read it!)

DORMAN;

Check your mail. We cool?

-he

Rowling/King/Irving readings & Stupidly spread Internet rumors
D. LOFTUS: Regarding your not-so-long ago question: "Could someone post a link or two to a story about this King-Irving-Rowling imbroglio? I don't know how to search for these things."
JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW that there ISN'T any imbroglio to speak of. It's just more bullshit spread by morons who run off half-cocked in cyberland, throwing gasoline on fires in various forums.

I returned tonight from a 10 day trip out East. One of the reporters at the press conference of August 1st asked if Irving or King had any advice to give Rowling. Neither of those excellent writers presumed to do such a thing -- either at the press conference, backstage, or at the reading I attended. Any says different is stuffed full of day-old horse manure.
--DTS
P.S. Neither John Irving nor Stephen King -- both of whom put on two of the best author readings I've ever seen the night of August 2nd (and Salman Rushdie was equally impressed) -- NEED to do handstands or PR stunts to attract ticket buyers. Both events were sold out -- and I've no doubt any DVD/CD that comes from both nights (there was talk) will sell like hotcakes

Rob,

"I liked the film a lot. The best of the graphic novel adaptations thus far, I think."

Hey now! Watch that!

As for Brian Dennehy, he seemed to be quite hale and hearty. As Douglas pointed out, he's standing in between some tall fellas (I max out at 6'5" these days, which is bizarre, because up until recently, I was 6'4" and Frakes is pretty tall, himself. )

Keep in mind, too, that the majority of actors seem to be on the, well, let's say it - shorter side. So when you've seen him towering over people in film, it's because those people are what we in the trade call "little people."

I remember meeting Dolph Lundgren on the first film I ever workd on (Masters of the Universe) and realizing that the giant Russian boxer from Rocky 4 was barely my height, which makes Sylvester Stallone.... kinda short.

A family portrait of the Shmools. Thank you. Now I'll have to go to bed with that image in me noggin' fer the rest o'me nights.

Speaking of John Hurt, I finally saw V For Vendetta with Natalie Portman - who reduced me to a salivating, lusting Troglodyte - and Hugo Weaving.

I liked the film a lot. The best of the graphic novel adaptations thus far, I think. I had a hard time watching Big Ben get blasted to Tschaikovsky's 1812 Overture, as its beauty stands for so many other things for me, but I believed some genuine heart went into this more literate film, unlike so many past efforts obviously in it for the big buck. I think H.G. Wells would have liked it.

The NEW type of tyranny to be essayed, however, is Cheney-esque capitalism, and the self-destructiveness of Democracy when uninformed masses are duped into complacency (how else could someone with an IQ of 90 be elected to the Presidency?). I'm not sure yet WHO the Winston Smith is in THIS picture. It's something I'm sorting out right now.

Steve & Rich Worry Too Much

Brian Dennehy looked fine to me, you worry warts. Please keep in mind that he's bookended by Josh and Jonathan Frakes--not exactly puny guys. (Frakes is 6'4" and Josh is ... well, big.) Also, Dennehy is sixty-eight now, so he's bound to have lost a little height. (Not you, though, Harlan.)

I was actually pleased to see Dennehy looking trim; I earlier read he suffered from hypertension.

D.

TODD:

Damn cleverly observant of you ... but ... now you've spoiled the big surprise for Shane. Yes, Todd, that IS the Shellenbarger-manque mutant Discard. Oh well, I suppose it would have surfaced sooner or later.

Yr. pal, Harlan

FAR-10 about
MR LOFTUS: Did you index me? Blewp-bleep.

Mutant Shellenbarger?
Josh/Harlan, in that first photo that Josh shared with us I noticed that the grey-bearded mutant on the right held a resemblence to our local, Valley-Of-The-Sun-Author(when it's Harlan-Escort Shane Shellenberger. Is this, by chance, the Shellenbarger mutant that Harlan had written into the script....did he actually get the makeup folks to sculpt a likeness to the character?

-TODD

The Discarded

Cool photos from Vancouver, but you really need to do something about that goiter, Harlan! Seriously, I've avoided getting my hopes up about this--so many adaptations for TV are disappointing--but now I'm Officially Stoked (tm). The cast is top flight (Brian Dennehy and John Hurt!), the makeup effects look cool, and Harlan is directly involved and giving his all (and Josh Olson is no slouch in the script-writing department, either). The signs look good; let's hope the rest of the production goes well.

Steve Barber said, "Dennehy is looking smaller and thinner than expected. Hopefully health is not becoming an issue for the man once called the 'Gentle Giant."

I, too, was surprised at Dennehy's picture. At the risk of being completely crass and putting my nose into none of my business, I hope he is in good health. My brother-in-law's brother worked with Dennehy on some mini-series a few years ago, and Lucious remarked that Dennehy was the biggest man he'd met, and a complete gentleman. ('Worked with' is probably overstating the case, since I think Lucious was there more to get the coffee and make sure the script pages were numbered correctly.)

Also, I share A-TC's sentiments after reading Alexandrovna's blog. By the way, A-TC, what's the name of that Kurosawa/Mifune book? I vaguely remember hearing something about that some time ago.

Harlan loves this story, so I have to tell it: We arrived in Vancouver, and as we walked to customs, a young girl who was walking alongside us noticed Harlan rubbing his shoulder in pain - he has a bad rotator cuff. “What’s wrong?” She asked.

“He was shot,” I told her. Her eyes widened in surprise. I ran with it:

“Yeah. He saved my life, actually. Guy was trying to shoot me, and Harlan took the bullet for me. That’s friendship.”

She looked at me, unsure if I was telling the truth.

“Yeah,” I said. “He was trying to shoot me in the kneecap.”

the grand dumpster known as TV
I had access to cable television last week -- something I generally avoid due to a lurking certainty that I'd spend six hours/day "waiting for something good to come on."

"Mr Screwhead" -- strange/pleasantly, paired with "The Twilight Zone" to fill a one-hour slot. I figured it'd be just another "weird for the sake of weird" cartoon such as "Adult Swim" likes to spawn. Instead, got a delightfully arcane & well-choreographed comedy with lots of references to history & genre conventions. (Though David H-P could take a few steps back from Niles Crane, as he's a very talented & terribly underutilised actor.)

"So You Want to Be a Superhero?" -- intentional cheese, & ought to be judged on merits similar to, say, "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes." This is, after all, Stan Lee, who though he occasionally falls into foaming fits of trying to turn comics into the ultimate literature, generally accepts the postmodern premise that Fen who cannot occasionally laugh at themselves are kinda creepy. Enjoyable in a G-rated kinda way.

"Eureka" -- good premise, great actors, too much budget for their own good. The only joy I feel is that it's absolutely nothing like my own "the laws of physics are breaking down in our pleasant little city" premise. If I want to see wacky (qua) geniuses, I'll watch "Numbers" or "CSI" or my tapes of "Special Unit 2" or "Seven Days." Thus far, "Eureka" can't seem to figure out if it's "Due South" or "Lost in Space" or "Twin Peaks."

Enthusiastic nod of agreement with what Adam-Troy writes. WHO WANTS... is no better or worse than other reality shows, and has a humor about itself that's appealing. Secondly, the Huffington post is dead on.
_________________________________________

There seems to be a small groundswell of attendance at WorldCon (didn't I once work for them?). On the Boards is a category marked "laconiv". Those of us attending may try to gather for coffee or something at the Con Center. Details to be announced.
_________________________________________

Josh's THE DISCARDED pictures.

Thank you for posting them. Fun to see the personal side.

BTW - Rumor has it the little nipples on the udder hanging from Harlan's neck dispense a variety of flavors for your coffee. The French Vanilla Creme (third nipple from the left) is reputedly an ecstasy-inducing hallucinogen for us caffeinated types.

How cool is that picture of the five of you? Dennehy is looking smaller and thinner than expected. Hopefully health is not becoming an issue for the man once called the "Gentle Giant".

GRAND MASTERS


HARLAN:

I should have mentioned this months ago, but hopefully you already know that Ray Garton was recognized as Grand Master at the World Horror Convention.

Rick

Various
Harlan's comments are of course eagerly awaited, but as far as I'm concerned the Mel Gibson mess is completely nailed down, finished, and placed in its perfect perspective by this article which makes any other comments on the subject redundant. Please check it out.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/larisa-alexandrovna/mirror-mirror-the-passi_b_26620.html

Also: Stan Lee's "Who Wants to Be A Superhero?" is not a sad commentary on anything. It's a collection of people happily acting silly on TV. It embraces its own silliness with appropriate low comedy and is far preferable to certain other reality shows that treat its issues like realistic portraits of the human condition (for instance, any of the shows where bickering celebs are locked in a room together, or those where people are alleged to find permanent mates for themselves, on the basis of hideously unnatural staged encounters). Believe me. I'm no fan of the reality genre, even if I have just written a book on one of the few specimens I deem worth defending. But "Superhero" is just contentedly goofy.

Am currently reading a fascinating bio covering the intertwined lives of Akira Kurosawa and Toshiro Mifune. Wonders on every page.

Nice photos from "The Discarded," Josh. Looks like the shoot went well...I'm looking forward to watching it!

lonegungirl,

The pilot episode of "Who Wants..." is free on iTunes. It's a bunch of adults dressed up in ridiculous costumes playing pretend... of course it's sad and pathetic. The show really reflects poorly on comicbook readers. And Stan... well, he's continuing his trend of embarassing himself rather than just retiring with dignity.

Tom & Kristin--

Thanks for the reassurances. I'll certainly try to make at least the Saturday for HE--Anaheim isn't as far as San Diego at least!


Anyone watching Who Wants to be a Superhero? Is it good, because Stan Lee is involved? Or just sad and pathetic like most reality tv?

No exaggeration here. . . .


Someone recently placed an item for bid on eBay -- minimum opening bid $79.99, Buy It now price of $100 -- with the following in the description:

> An absolute gem of a book for an Ellison fan with a RARE autograph.
> Harlan does not like to sign his books, so get this one while you still can.

How well I know the absolute truth of this! I have only about 55 autographed Ellison items or so; maybe half of them I procured in person, and I had to have seven thugs -- these were BIG guys, mind you -- hold him down while I pressed a gun to his head, in order to get them.

To which I'll add, click here, and see some photos from our little adventure:

http://homepage.mac.com/josholson/PhotoAlbum90.html

I have some lovely vid of Harlan going on about said wardrobe mistress, but they may have to remain private. Or perhaps I'll sell it to the makers of the documentary...

Harlan, sort of already have. When Eureka came up on John Rogers' blog (who wrote the third aired episode and knew the producers beforehand), I repeated the post there, leading to some conversation in the comments. One thing that came out is that apparently the network didn't want overmuch whimsy from the inhabitants in the beginning, in order to set a certain mood, and more whimsy is supposed to be coming.

Still, based on John's comments, I'm pretty sure Eureka won't be the sort of show I'd hoped for. Instead, I'll have to judge it by "mystery in a quirky small town" standards, where quirky = various odd gadgets lying around.

"when I appear" ~ exerpted from a recent Harlan quote.

A good place not to appear is the public beach at the southern end of Lake George, NY. I saw raw sewage coming out of a pipe 10 feet (not yards) from the beach swimming area. Dead fish were floating on the surface. Then I took the boat tour and the loud speaker said "Lake George is America's cleanest lake. Let's keep it that way."

THE RETURN OF CAPTAIN THESPIS

We're back, as vouchsafed by Olson. It was a marvelous, swell expedition; and I only got into one real dust-up: with the woman who was Wardrobe on the production. A story for a little later, likely titled, "The Bitch Must Die!" I stayed up for 40 hours straight before we left, completing all manner of work. Now I'm back, I'm resting up, and soon very soon will I humbly crouch 'neath your balcony, the better to fire you with the passion, action & adventure of this most recent interlude.

Suffice, for the moment, that all went swimmingly, that we took care'a business, and when I next appear -- if the chocolate bear-trap doesn't get fitted in error to the persimmon porcupine's paw till it pinch pinch pinch -- I will enter my thoughts on Mel Gibson, YOUR thoughts on Mel Gibson, and other minutiae.

One quick observation on another topic, however. From your various postings on a day shortly before I left and wasn't paying you no 'tention: Monday 31 July 2006. Two posts, one by Tom Galloway, the other, in contrapuntal ideation with Tom, by way of Mark Spieler. What you guys had to say, at 14:9:49 and 18:30:54 anent EUReKA, are comments so smart, and so smack-on-
the-subjective -- well, you ought to ferret out who the execs on this series are, and bust yer hump getting the thoughts in front of them.

I, personally, have no stake in EUReKA one way or the other, but it is so pluperfectly an example of how the know-nothing genre-ignorant scuttlefish who run the YouKnowWhat Channel see
the venue for the most part (Ron Moore miraculously managed to circumvent the dullards), that your clear-eyed opinions and disappointment might, slimchance, but whatthehell, have a minim of possibility of penetrating the sophomoric arrogance that shrouds their brains from originality.

I urge both of you--or anyone else who gives a shit--unlike me--to get them two posts into the hands of ANYone at the show or the Channel, who might be bright enough to understand that they contain Genuine Wisdom, as well as the acorns of their possible salvation, viewerwise.

As our benificent Governor has said, I'll Be Back. Yr. pal, Harlan

More of the Same, None of the Other
Just when you thought it was safe to endorse any religion:

http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=entertainmentNews&storyid=2006-08-04T123238Z_01_N04241556_RTRUKOC_0_US-MOORE.xml&src=rss&rpc=22

And another for Steve-o:

http://www.worldwidewords.org/qa/qa-bai1.htm

Think masturbate vs. masturbait (or even masterbait!). You get the idea.

Best living writer of English prose
Mr. Morales et al.,

The greatest living writer in our English language is Philip Roth. I'd say that Pynchon and Ballard are also up there, along with Joan Didion. Steven King and Harlan are excellent, but in the next rank (think Stan Musials rather than Babe Ruths). Time, however, will most likely tell.

Steve P-O (does NOT stand for 'pissed off') won the match, but it wasn't fair. I had the upper hand until he brought out that little pick axe he is going to use next week while doing archeology work.

Now I truly DO have holes in my head.

Cast Set for 'Masters of Sci Fi' and a note to Steve Bishop
http://www.zap2it.com/tv/news/zap-mastersofsciencefictioncast,0,248925.story?coll=zap-news-headlines

Steve Bishop: Mark Evanier wrote that piece and many more at http://www.povonline.com/

Umm....

The "kudos" being the missing line "And we're sure you did your typically brilliant acting turn as a mutant."

Kudos and Mr. King

Susan, Harlan and Josh - Welcome back from the frigid North. As you can feel, your order for cooler, more SoCal weather has finally arrived. It seems there was a mix-up at the local Fedex office, creating the 22 day burn in Hell. All has been sorted through and the hateful stuff was shipped East where it belonged. We all wait with baited breath (okay, that's really a Tommyburger, but...) to read the notes from up North.
_____________________________________________________

King. THE GIRL WHO LOVED TOM GORDON is a good one for younger adults to cut their literary teeth on. Yes, some chilling and dicey moments, but this IS Stephen King. No blood, no guts, just real down and out fear. MISERY has, among many other things, a nasty little scene involving an ax and two very vulnerable ankles. I might suggest (depending upon how sensitive the reader) that she try DELORES CLAIBORNE and possibly THINNER. They're all going to have their edge, but these tend to be creepy rather than out and out brutal. My dollar and ninety seven cents (or, about a half gallo o' gasoline).

There are random killings going on everywhere, so let's not get our panties in a bunch. Crime has steadily gown down for the last five years; the reason I don't credit Bush is because I am programmed, as a leftist, to knee jerkingly be against everything he stands for. Actually, I'm kidding. Crime always goes up and down, based on certain factors that are fairly complex. Crime will always be higher in poor neighborhoods, but nobody cares about them anywhoo.

The NRA credits right to carry laws, supported by our noble cowboy, who is ascared of horsies, to the point that he has to always ride around his ranch in a golf cart. Crime is also down in places without those laws, so I have no idea what the gun freaks are smoking. I could get them the good shit, but noooooooooooooooo.

I think we are tired of crime, that's my theory. So, it seems, 9/11 may have changed us afterall.

--------

King should do a novel that centers around the music of Enya. He would scare even the brass stomached.

Fear & Fear
*** Mike *** You're not drinking enough kool-aid my man. Everybody is supposed to be in a constant state of fear about something, and preferrably two or more things, ALL the time. Clearly, you are not doing your part. ;-)

*** Adam *** I gotta say, THE GIRL WHO LOVED TOM GORDON is one of my favorite King's and I've read all but one of his 60 some titles. But that book is NOT by any measure "gentle." I have a daughter and I've spent ONE day by myself completely lost on foot in some Appalacian wilderness, so I had two things to "project" into the reading of that book. What happens in TOM GORDON is at least as harrowing, page for page and pound for pound as what happens in MISERY.

I remember being at a convention and Harlan had just started it. Someone asked him what he thought of it and he said, "well, I'm not very far in but so far it's just about a little girl lost in the woods" and sort of trailed off there. No pun intended, but HAH! anyways. I have often wondered if Harlan was "soft-selling" it or, if, after THE GREEN MILE he simply was not impressed.

SIDENOTE: Expansion versus padding. One of the things that keeps me reading King, great, bad or indifferent is that he is dicking around with the various lengths that you can tell a story at. Sometimes he goes off the rails into unforgivable padding. The infamous TOMMYKNOCKERS and BAG OF BONES comes to mind. I want to say INSOMNIA as well but that may have been two books unfairly glued together which is a different literary sin. I forgive him the padding in DREAMCATCHER just because he was writing to distract himself from pain, which was probably unreal and, well, he just gets a free walk to base for all the others I did enjoy.

Then there the novellas like RITA HAYWORTH AND THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION and THE BODY, where he gets the length-to-story ratio EXACTLY right and these are his critical darlings for good reason.

But, and here we get to my actual point, SOMETIMES King writes a book at the WRONG length for any other writer but the correct length for him. The first time I think he pulled this trick off was with CUJO. It is a VERY simple story that should NOT work at that length but man that sucker worked for me. Not the movie, please - the book.

Then he did it again with GERALD'S GAME and, to my mind, perfectly with THE GIRL WHO LOVED TOM GORDON. I think other writers could write great versions of these stories as novellas but I don't think there is hardly anybody alive who could write those stories at that length and get the desired effects.

I admit that most times what King needs is a bit of compression but SOMETIMES this trick of unreal expansion impresses the hell out of me.

- Barney

King continued
Robert: Are you kidding? MISERY, for all its other quality attributes, is also hundreds of pages of a guy being tortured. We have to remember why this question is being asked. The girl needs King at his gentlest, not at his most brutal. No, it has to be EYES OF THE DRAGON or THE GIRL WHO LOVED TOM GORDON.

Frank: King's column is somewhat more substantial than that. The Britney Spears installment can be reduced to its shallowest possible summary, but is less about her than about the media proctoscope in general. As a whole, the column fulfills its mission: it has interesting things to say and says them in an interesting way.

The triumphant return
We're back. In terminology that will surely drive Harlan batshit, the trip fucking rocked, dude!

I'm gonna let our host and hero fill you in on everything first, then I'll come back and fill it in with some photos and such, but suffice to say, there's a real good chance this thing is going to be something very special. And Harlan barely had to beat anyone to death at all.

Let me add something to Todd’s post. Yes, the good news is they got the two serial shooters. The bad news is there is still another murderer out there. But watching and listening to the national news is a little sickening. I am tired of hearing that they got the serial shooters who have kept the city of Phoenix in terror for over a year.

There is no terror. People were concerned, and smart people tried to be a little smarter about when they were walking the streets. Why weren’t we in terror? Maybe because we didn’t know there were serial shooters until a month or two ago. It all started a year ago, but the police didn’t break the news until recently.

However, “citizens of Phoenix in terror for over a year” sounds much better than “citizens of Phoenix concerned for over a month.”

Mike

Todd Cassel

Thanks for the info. Here's a favorite WW2 story: An American prisoner of war in Germany escaped and hiked across the border into Switzerland. He wrote a note to the camp commandant asking to have his suitcase forwarded. A few days later his suitcase arrived.

stuff
*** Steve *** Will do. I'm flying on someone else's business schedule (but 1st class) so it's all very last minute.

*** Brit writers *** Is A.S. Byatt a British author? The thing about Gaiman and Moorcock is they're both American these days. Gaiman is REALLY American in the sense that he's mining strange Wisconsin architecture for novels like American Gods [and how American a title is that?] and waxing poetic on the coldness of Wisconsin winters and the miserable heat/humidity encountered in Texas. That's certainly not very British, eh? Well, bitching about the weather is, but still.

I'm not complaining, mind you. We need their taxable income. I'm just asking when do they stop being British? Is J.P. Donleavy a American writer? I think not.

- Barney

Provenance, PA.

John Greenawalt: "Years ago I got caught going through a red light in Philadelphia. The sergeant writing the ticket said "If you contest this you have a better than 50 50 chance of winning." My explanation? The courts of Philadelphia have such a low opinion of their own police dept. that my word is better than theirs is."

Actually, what the cop was probably telling you was that he is way too busy to show up to court everytime someone contests a traffic ticket. The rules are that if you contest, and if the cop who wrote the ticket does not show for court, you win.

So, don't be too cynical about the Philly police.....he was probably just giving you an honest, helpful hint that he is a busy busy sergeant.

As for the national news that my adopted hometown Phoenix has been making: They got the two scumbags that were labeled as the "serial shooter" or "serial killer" who would shoot random people and horses and dogs. May they rot in hell. Unfortunately, that's only one of our two serials. We still have our Baseline Rapist/Killer out there....but then, he isn't as rampant and I think it's been awhile since anything was tied to him. Maybe he's already dead of a methadone overdose or something.

So two scumbags thought to be one down, one scumbag to go. Of course, that won't be the end to violence in a city like ours (or anyone's), but at least we can finally get ourselves out of the national news.

-TODD

Met up with Coil today at the WizCon. We fought. I won. Harlan loves ME more!

Best British writer who is fewer than 6 years dead: Anthony Powell.
Learn more here: http://www.anthonypowell.org.uk/indexnf.htm

BARNEY:
I'm headed over there at the crack of November. If your October window remains self-defenestratable, leave us try to hook up in Old Blighty if our visits overlap.

For Harlan: TV magazines likely to be enshrined out of reach.
Harlan,

Bad news. I spoke with my counterpart in the Archives department. She confirmed that decisions about what they keep are fairly arbitrary. She also said they would likely keep the "Mecham Papers" that bear the precious television magazines, in which mentions of BURKE'S LAW lurk. Once microfilmed, those issues will return to the Archives department, ensconced like the Ark of the Covenant until they get moved to an even MORE secure, climate-controlled location.

I can't get you the originals. However, I can get you everything BUT the originals. I sent Rick a fairly high resolution scan of the page in question. I didn't get a reply so I don't know if his spam filter nixed it, but I have the file, so I can resend it. I know this digital stuff isn't the same as paper, but I hope something's better than nothing.

I also have a list of episodes including "Who Killed Purity Mather?" from December 6, 1963, "Who Killed Andy Zygmunt?" from March 13, 1964 and "Who Killed 1/2 of Glory Lee?" from May 8, 1964. I'll keep my eyes peel for copy pertaining to them, especially if a photo accompanies them. If you have no interest in the scans, let me know.

If anyone else wants a scan of the beauties of "Who Killed Alex Debbs?" my e-mail address should be attached to this.

***

All those worried for Arizona Webderlanders: Apparently they've caught the two guys responsible for the shootings in the Phoenix area. On the way back from lunch police had blocked off several lanes to handle the news vans parked outside city hall. The shooter appears to have been a sports photographer covering the boxing scene. I'm curious to see how this will unravel.

Steven King is really challenging himself, especially in his Entertainment Weekly column, The Pop Of King. A few weeks ago he did a piece, detailing how sorry he felt for how Britney Spears was being treated by the media. Yea, that King, sure gets into the heart of the matter.

----------

You better all see The Night Listener, with Harlan's boy, Robin Williams. It looks amazing. Hopefully, RV will look like a sick mirage soon.

--------

Worldcon
Lonegungirl, Worldcon won't be anything like San Diego in the aspects you mention. Barring something completely unexpected (and which no one from LA has even hinted at happening to date), total attendance should be in the 6-8K range, as opposed to San Diego's ~120K. I'd put the chances of registration shutting down new members at about 10,000-1.

As for the schedule, the prelim schedule went out to program participants this week. They're sending back any corrections/changes they'd like, at which point the final pre-con schedule (there are always a few last minute changes due to unexpected events; these are noted in the daily newsletters) will get posted, probably in the 1-2 week before the con timeframe.

As for who's speaking and who's attending, the program participant list is at http://www.laconiv.org/2006/prog/progbios.htm If the entry for my name doesn't include a mention of Harlan, you're in the wrong place. :-)

Best King for teen: MISERY, which among other things plays every possible riff on the romance novel - from WUTHERING HEIGHTS on.

Best living English writer: Michael Moorcock, much revered by many of the Brits already nominated for this distinction.

King Addendum

ADDENDUM -- WITH SPOILER!!!

SPOILER!


I've thought a couple of additional minutes and decided that DIFFERENT SEASONS is almost certainly not the one; good as it is, for the palate able to stomach its darker moments, both "Rita Hayworth and Shawshank Redemption" and "Apt Pupil," which also appears in the collection, contain material I would not recommend for a sensitive younger reader. ("Shawshank" is excellent and emotionally rich, but until she's acclimated to King she might not react well to scenes frank in their depiction of what men do to other men in prison. And "Apt Pupil," one of my least favorite King tales, has scenes that will turn her off for life.)

(This is NOT censorship, I say to anybody who dares say so. I would freely give both stories to somebody ready for them. But the question has been raised with respect to this one girl.)

THE DEAD ZONE is good, but for later. Right now, you're probably best off with THE EYES OF THE DRAGON or THE GIRL WHO LOVED TOM GORDON. The latter is scarier, and hits closer to home, as I said, but you can probably make it easier by providing the gentle word to the wise that nothing of a permanent nature will happen to its young heroine. (Under the circumstances, I think the spoiler justified).

King
Tom:

I admire King quite a bit, consider a third of books masterpieces of their kind, another third effective potboilers, and the final third total wastes of paper and time.

Not all of his stuff is brutal. Some of it is quite subtle.

However, in your relative innocence, you have chosen for your daughter perhaps the worst possible King book for her.

Really.

By an order of magnitude.

CELL can most succinctly (if not entirely accurately) be described as zombie horror; it is, concentrated in its earlier chapters, as relentlessly gory and as stomach-churningly violent as anything he's ever written. It is for fans of his oogie-boogie stuff, not for readers of his material with wider appeal.

Giving this book to a young girl, as her first exposure to King, is like giving one of Donald Westlake's darker crime novels to somebody who expects one of his Dortmunder romps. The same skills are on display, but put to a different use. (Alternatively: showing STRAW DOGS to somebody who only knew Dustin Hoffman from HOOK. Bad idea. Bad, bad idea.)

You want gentler King, which she might respond to? THE GREEN MILE. Or DIFFERENT SEASONS, a collection that includes the non-horrific novellas that spawned the movies "Shawshank Redemption" and "Stand by Me." I'm sure you're familiar with the basic ideas of both. (There's also a horror story in it, but a somewhat gentler one, more spooky than ghastly.)

Or, perhaps best of all, given the audience, EYES OF THE DRAGON, a fairy tale King wrote for his own daughter, who like your own could not abide terrifying stuff but did respond to this Princess-Bride world of a put-upon young hero and his feats of derring-do. (It's actually very reminiscent of Harry Potter, come to think of it.)

If she *can* deal with something that may hit a little too close to home, there's my favorite King novel of the past few years, the last one I can recommend without reservation: THE GIRL WHO LOVED TOM GORDON, about an (I think) twelve-year-old girl who gets separated from her family during a wilderness hike and who has to survive alone in the woods, while dodging a monster that may or may not exist and which keeps appearing at the corners of her vision. She would identify with this one, but perhaps too much. It has the benefit of being short, less than two hundred pages, but you may want to tell her what's in store before choosing that one.

King books to avoid at all costs, for reasons having nothing to do with quality and everything to do with the sensitivity of this particular reader: PET SEMATARY and GERARD'S GAME. Especially the latter. Stunningly inappropriate for her, until *she* decides to seek them out.

I would say, THE EYES OF THE DRAGON or THE GIRL WHO LOVED TOM GORDON. With the latter requiring a bit more discretion.

Good Luck.

A-TC

Tom,

I would suggest the collection titled "Different Seasons". It contains 4 pieces, including "Rita Hayworth and the Shawshank Redemption", turned into a movie of a similar title, and "The Body," which was adapted into the film "Stand by Me."

While there is some violence in the stories contained within this collection, it is fairly minimal, and the stories are some of his best.

Hope this helps,

Mark

King light?
My 16 year old daughter has been told that before school starts she should read a fiction book, a non-fiction book and a Stephen King book, all of her choice.
I have no Stephen King in my library so we stopped at the local shopping center and at Target there was his newest, apparently involving cell phones and, of course, murder.
Well she got about 6 pages in and apparently someone had already been sliced up and "Dad, I can't read this!"
On the one hand is the urge to say "Suck it up, I told you who Stephen King was and what he does". On the other hand I understand, as it is why I am not a fan of horror. Where some stories take your emotions on a merry-go-round I see the job of horror stories as to put them in the car and slam into a brick wall at 60mph. There are stories that "tug at your heart strings" to use an old cliche, and there are those that pick up the stringed instrument and do a John Belushi from Animal House.
Not to say that's a bad thing, it's a huge genre with millions of fans, including our favorite Unca. It just has never been my taste.
So the question, as I know there are big time King fans here, are there books of his that are lighter on the slicing and dicing? Where the nastiest parts are more implied than explicit? Or where they may be absent altogether? What some might call "straight" fiction (to separate it from the "twisted" kind we all like).
Thanks for any input,

Tom Morgan

Shane -
Terrific link. The sad part is that I've been to a bunch of those and hadn't realized some of 'em were gone.

LA still has some pretty cool eateries -- The Original Pantry, Tommy's (best burgers on the left coast), Philippe's (where they invented the French Dip), Pink's (where they perfected the hot dog), Senor Tacos and Wahoo's (for fish tacos), Roscoe's (waffles and fried chicken) -- any of which add immensely to your cholesterol levels, but wow, what a way to go...

Thanks for the short trip through a twenty-year old memory lane.

SB

ROB EWEN HAS GUESSED CORRECTLY!

you have won.....A BRAND SPANKING NEW CONDOLEEZA RICE MAKER!!!

(THE PAVILION GOES WILD)

yOURs,
kICk

If you're in L.A. with your time machine,visit these restaurants
http://www.povonline.com/larestaurants/larestaurants01.htm

Hardily, the scriveners

Finest living British writer?

I would have said John Fowles until he died late last year.

Other possible contenders:

Ian McEwen
A.S. Byatt
Julian Barnes
Martin Amis


Would Naipaul or Rushdie count as British?

*** Rob *** No, and it was "on again, off again" a total of three times so I abandoned the issuing of updates. It was a lot of things. Two jobs - Harlan doesn't think I even have one job, but he is wrong about that - my Mom went in the hospital (she's fine, now) and the last travel window had me getting back the afternoon of the 29th - at which point I would have had to drive from NYC to Allentown to Bucks County for a dinner I had promised I would be at in March. Also, one set of friends in Brixton was leaving the day of my [third] proposed arrival date - so, "too many impossibilities before breakfast" as Frank Miller used to say.

The TENTATIVE next window might be sometime in October. I'm currently living for a pilgrimage to Elmira, NY and some serious Twain geeking about including sitting in the little "writer's house" that was built for him by friends and where much of LIFE ON THE MISSISSIPPI was composed. It's now sitting on the campus quad up there and is open, or open on request. Strange little Meccas...

Anybody who knows that area well and wants to send me True Gen off-line, please do. But there will be little time for side trips. Two days in the area maximum so no shooting me up into Canada or what have you.

- Barney

Dear Kick

No contest.

'Tis Sir Arthur C. Clarke.

Yours
Rob

P.S. - Barney - did you ever get to the UK?

HEY ROB EWEN

who's the finest still-breathing Brit writer?

c'mon, you can tell us!!

Kick Reeney

Years ago I got caught going through a red light in Philadelphia. The sergeant writing the ticket said "If you contest this you have a better than 50 50 chance of winning." My explanation?
The courts of Philadelphia have such a low opinion of their own police dept. that my word is better than theirs is.

Just got the post card announcing when HE's LAcon appearance is....I think that's 3 days before we (me and my SO who won't come within a mile of an sf convention these days)set out for Burning Man in NV... I never even bought membership, let aloen hotel/etc (i think the main hotels are prob mostly sold out by now altho since it's Disneyland there's tons of lodging nearby, though lots of those tend to fill up with tourists who buy package deals) Lonegungirl, it IS crowded (8000 people? that was in 84 and I don't know what the count was in 96, probably more) but you wouldn't pass up an HE appearnce when it's RIGHT IN TOWN??? Well close enough to commute anyway! I am so jealous and gnashing my teeth at missing this (well lit wasn't till recently I found out it wasn't the same wkend as the Burn, but it's cutting it awfully close unless you can go straight from one to the other like some others I know are doing.)

What was that about King and Rowling? Besides the fact that they've both been sneered at by Harold Bloom?

The Rowling - King - Irving thing was a pretty good idea in that it gives younger readers a few authors to look at when they outgrow Potter. While King and Irving are big names, its not neccessarily true that kids in the Junior High-ish range know who they are. So as they start to mature out of Harry's world, they atleast now know 2 authors who respect Rowling's works and as such would be authors they would enjoy reading. It's great to see authors of "grown-up" books reaching out to kids entering young-adulthood.

LACON:
I was thinking of going but I tried going to the SD Comic Con as a preliminary--what a zoo! It took 3 hours to get down there from LA, the parking was all full, and the ticket line extended so far away you couldn't see the convention center from the end. After standing in the hot sun in about 1000 degree heat for a half hour, they came by and said they had reached capacity and weren't letting anyone in anymore.

Is LACON usually that crowded as well? Plus, it's sort of irking that, without a schedule up, it's hard to know what sort of membership to get. Also, they list a lot of people, but it doesn't seem clear whether they're actually going to talk about something, or just attending...

Nah she ain't gonna kill Harry cause you don't just want people to read the books you want them to reread them!

Now that smarmy little bitch Hermanemone or whatever she is called, off with her head I say, in the slowest way possible.

Potter
I think both King and Irving have sufficient novelistic instincts to know with absolute assurance that Potter isn't going to die. Nor is Rowling likely to kill Hermione Granger. This is the same instinct that allowed canny readers to understand that Dumbledore had to go (either in fact, or illusion) at some point.

I have my own ideas about who has to go, but that's the very last neep I wish to start in here.

The point is, I think they're just expressing their own deep involvement with the series, in a manner that compliments Rowling's achievement.

The Rowling/King thing seems a bit of a tempest in a teacup. If it was a publicity stunt, then well done all. But if it wasn't...


Then it seems to me King and Irving placed her in a bit of an akward spot. If she does kill him off, she will probably be accused of simply being contrary. (Of course, the debate will be moot, as she will have been poked to death with magic wands by enraged Potter fans.) If she doesn't, she might be accused of bowing to pressure.

Of course, I may be vastly overestimating the common memory of humanity.

Personally, what really cheesed me off was that Rowling was named "Greatest Living British Author." Not Terry Pratchett? Not Neil Gaiman? That's a bit...extreme don't you think?

Articles Galore

Terrific article and review of Julie Phillips' "JAMES TIPTREE JR. The Double Life of Alice B. Sheldon".

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/08/03/books/03masl.html
______________________________________________

David, you can read the Rowling King stuff at:

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/08/02/books/02potter.html

http://www.cnn.com/2006/SHOWBIZ/books/08/01/people.rowling.reut/index.html?section=cnn_latest

http://www.nineoclock.ro/index.php?page=detalii&categorie=culture&id=20060803-503434
__________________________________________


Oh, and don't mind me. I'm looking for Kadak.

I totally misunderstood David Loftus’ initial post. He wasn’t “indexing the Glass Teats”; he was "Windexing" them.

Mike

somebody has to do it


Could someone post a link or two to a story about this King-Irving-Rowling imbroglio? I don't know how to search for these things.


A-T C:

I know exactly the sound you've described, but I'm going nuts trying figure out the most accurate way to present it orthographically:

EEE-rr-EEE-rr-EEE-rr.... (?)

or perhaps

screeet . . . screeet . . . screeet . . .

And I have to say that glass teats are not really much fun to polish. They have no GIVE.

>Eric, don't you know a PR stunt when you see one?<

Gosh, I guess I don't. Oh those wacky writers, what will they come up with next?

RICK:
Thanks for the directions.

ALL:
Can't recommend LIFE ON MARS enough! Really, a most excellent teevee programme. And, as with many U.K. series, tantalizingly brief: only eight episodes (though I belive there's a second season coming soon).

Btw, Sam Tyler was named after Rose Tyler from DOCTOR WHO. When the studio rang up the creator to ask for a surname change -- it had been something like Sam Williams, which wasn't too memorable, I s'pose -- he in turn asked his daughter what she thought it should be. She said Tyler, and so it was. He asked her later how she thought it up, and she said it was because of Rose Tyler.

ANYONE GOING TO WIZARD WORLD CHICAGO THIS WEEKEND:
If you'd like to do a brief meet-up, I plan to be hanging about with friends (many of whom are HE fans, too) in the carpeted area that's on the way to the panels rooms on Friday at 5:00 (if I'm lucky enough to get out of the office early) and on Saturday at either 3:00 or 5:00 (depending on whether there's a Peter David signing at 3:00; I'm hoping to get an autograph for a friend). We'll probably be sitting on the floor, so look low.

I'll be the tallish (6'2") gent wearing the red White Sox ballcap. If you see me wandering the aisles, come up and say hey.

Hey, Coil! You showin' up this year? Hope so -- then we can fight over which one of us Harlan loves the most!

Eric, don't you know a PR stunt...
Eric, don't you know a PR stunt when you see one? What King and Irving did was guaranteed to generate far more press than almost anything else they could have thought up. It was very clever, and got the main page of every news website I've been to. Three authors get together and get major press? It was brilliant, Eric. And it got major attention for the Haven Foundation.

I wouldn't be suprised to eventually learn the three of them put the thing together beforehand.

One man's tour of Mexico

You might wonder why a local tour guide would take me through a supermarket. He had a specific reason for doing so. "Look at any of the fruits and vegetables," he said. "They are all second and third class quality. We send all of the first class produce north."

Nice review by of the Tiptree bio by Janet Maslin, New York Times. Harlan is mentioned:

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/08/03/books/03masl.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

As a fan of you both, I'm naturally interested in what kinds of things you corresponded about (if it's not to nosy to ask).

Mark
parked next to Mr. Carrier's Device for the next few days

Eric
>>Does anyone else think it's just a wee bit presumptuous of Stephen King and John Irving to publically instruct J.K. Rowling on how to write her next book?<<

I would be flattered.

Rick

a quick note in case feathers ruffle...

My quotes on "good" were not sarcasm; they were meant to distinguish them from very successful "not-so-good" novelists like Clancy and Grisham.

Literary lobbying

Does anyone else think it's just a wee bit presumptuous of Stephen King and John Irving to publically instruct J.K. Rowling on how to write her next book?

I'm sure it's very flattering to have these two literary lions, possibly America's best-known "good" novelists, express so much concern over the fate of Harry Potter. And I'm equally sure that these pleas were "all in good fun," as they were made at a charity event in which all three writers were present.

BUT...these comments have gotten a lot of press, which just puts more pressure on Rowlings, who no doubt has about a million fans flooding her postal and e-mail boxes with similar dictates on how to write her books. These she can ignore, but how do you blow off King and Irving, in public? Hell, King compared offing Harry to killing off Sherlock Holmes, an authorial decision widely-accepted as a major blunder.

She made a gracious comment that she was toughening readers up to go read King and Irving's books. Maybe she should have followed up with a wry smile and a "back off, guys."

It's been a quiet day in Webderland, and I don't even want to know what prompted Mr. Castro's thought balloon. (I did laugh, however, which I needed. Today's been kind of "whack-a-mole" here in the corporate world...)
______________________________________

Debbie - I'm still planning on attending WorldCon Saturday, so count me in for the planning of some sort of tag-team event.

Glass Teats
It occurs to me that a real glass teat, when being, uh, polished, wiped clean of streaks, would make the same noise a window does... squeakysqueakysqueakysqueaky...

Just random brain lint, there

Worldcon
(Delurking for a moment) There is a thread in the forums called LACONIV. Any Webderlanders going to Worldcon and interested in getting together, come on over. I've never been to LA (ok, it's actually Anaheim), but I'm looking forward to this. Going back into lurkdom.

debbie

Fred,

That article was weak sauce. There is a big difference between having ill feelings towards the government of Israel and having ill feelings towards the entirety of the Jewish people. And it is true that Israel seems to get a free-pass when it comes to war crimes. (But to be fair, so does the US). Israel - that is the government and the military, not the general Jewish population of the world - targeted and killed UN observers just last week.

And any article that uses the word "shrewish" - funny, she doesn't look shrewish - has to taken with a few tablespoons of salt. The dude should have just made his statement about Sheehan and not slung names.

As for the film, it didn't stress enough that in the mythology, Christ's death was part of God's masterplan; one way or another he was going to be offed. And it didn't stress that he was killed by a few people who happened to be Jewish, not he was killed by the the Jewish people in general and that they will carry that burdon for eternity.

An Award Winner
I would like to suggest that David Loftus’ post wins the award for best statement to be read out of context.

“I am indexing the Glass Teats…”

Maybe on a t-shirt?

Mike

Mel Gibson (again)
There was a post yesterday which claimed that Bill O'Reilly, David Horowitz, and Michael Medved were in support of Mel Gibson and his "anti-Semetic" film "The Passion of the Christ" (I in no way found the film anti-Semetic). The post, while talking about "right wing creeps", failed to mention that Medved and Horowitz are Jewish as well as ex-liberals. In defense of at least Horowitz, here is what he had to say about Mel's recent comments:

http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/ReadArticle.asp?ID=23629

Hal Ellison
David (and others)

Violating the once a day rule as well to copy the below:

DID HARLAN WRITE UNDER THE NAME HAL ELLISON?

Harlan himself, via Rick Wyatt, answers the question...

"Hal Ellson was a very well-known crime writer of the 50's and 60's who was involved in rehabilitating kids at Bellevue Hospital in New York.He was a master and student of juvenile delinquency, and his stories appeared in all of the best mystery magazines of the period, including Manhunt, and it was as a matter of fact because of me reading Hal Ellson's books about juvenile delinquency that I became interested in juvenile delinquency and went to New York and joined a kid gang
and wrote my first book, _Web of the City_.

"When I first started writing, people kept saying "Harlan Ellison, is that a pseudonym of Hal Ellson", because he was very well known. Well, as the years went by, and Hal wrote less and less, and his books were bought for some reason and not reprinted as often as they should have been, people began saying "Gee, is Hal Ellson a pseudonym of Harlan Ellison"? No, in fact we are two separate people."

While an editor at Regency Books, Harlan even bought and published one of Hal's books, THE TORMENT OF THE KIDS. Harlan highly recommends Hal's work. Other titles include DUKE, TOMBOY, TELL THEM NOTHING, THE GOLDEN SPIKE, and SUMMER STREET.



Courtesy http://harlanellison.com/text/newsfaq.txt

eBay item: "Duke" by Hal Ellson or Harlan Ellison

After posting earlier today about how I try to religiously to respect the one-post-a-day rule here, I'm boldly breaking it now because something turned up on eBay that looks to me like an error at best, a potential fraud at worst.

Someone is trying to sell a pulp novel titled _Duke_ and advertising the author as "Hal Ellson" (clearly the author's name on the book cover) "or Harlan Ellison." I have never heard of this book as being part of the Canon.

Although the subject matter as described on the cover sounds plausible ("Death, Dope, Sex Betray a Harlem Youth . . . a novel of teen-age gangsters that will both shock and awaken you"), the pub date -- seventh printing! -- is 1951, and Mr. Ellison would have been 17 at the time. So I have doubts that this is his work.

Full description: "Vintage paperback book, DUKE, written by Hal Ellson or Harlan Ellison. The book was published by Popular Library Books (# 219) in 1951. This is a 7th print."

Being occupied with filming in Vancouver, as far as I know, Harlan is probably unavailable for comment this week.

Barney? Tim? Anybody?

I am opening a Glass Teat thread in the SPIDER forum that any of us can use to put comments in. I am just going through the book myself but haven't hit on anything yet to talk about in particular.

David: If you find errors that carry over from edition to edition it makes me wonder, would that be the case with other books as well? I find that odd and somewhat annoying. One would think that Harlan gave them the original manuscripts every time.

I know of Fatman, and have seen a few panels of it, but never a complete story or issue. From the same company that did the "SPLIT"/"XAM" version of "Captain Marvel" as well as other "borrowed" names from DC/Marvel such as Dr. Fate, right?

Eric man, you will never win the hyperbolic Stanley Cup. That thing is in the back of my black van, duct taped and laced with explosives that go off at the touch. We know, you didn't say anything bad, Brian was being sarcastic, now calm down. Put on some soft music, get some slippers, find a very large Lazy Susan and sit on it. Let it revolve around in a bright pink room. Kane will now play his wooden flute. "There will be peaceeeee in the vallleeeeeeeeyyyy!!"

--------

What happened to Chris L? Miss my pookers.

Binding To A Fatman

A challenge to your memories or knowledge of COMICS OF THE ULTRA-RARE:

Does anyone recall FATMAN, THE HUMAN FLYING SAUCER by Otto Binder and C.C.Beck (the same unique team that created and shaped the humorous Shazam! books of the 1940's)?

I believe this title came out in the 60's and ran only for a few issues. I remember, ever so vaguely, stumbling across some back issue when I was incredibly young.

- Accidentally found this thing on Google and it looked like something I'd all but once imagined in a dream; that's how distant a memory it had become. Strange, sometimes, when some things reach so far back into childhood memory (and was never seen since) that you're not even sure it was in da wheal wold.

Rediscovery is one virtue we forget about the Internet when we're arguing its pros and cons. It can revive things we'd thought we'd only dreamt.

Can't wait to see A SCANNER DARKLY. I hope they'll have it in this area soon.

inre: song lyrics. I've always wondered about "Bye Bye Love" from the Cars:

it's an orangy sky
always it's some other guy
it's just a broken lullaby
bye bye love
bye bye love
bye bye love
bye bye love

I've heard that song at least a hundred times, and all I hear is "it's just a fucking lullaby."

inre: Mel Gibson. Yes, he should know better, but apparently doesn't. Perhaps he will grow up one of these days.

A Scanner Darkly

I finally saw A SCANNER DARKLY last night, and . . . god, it was stunning. I had reservations about Richard Linklater's use of Rotoscoping--as a visual technigue, it's always seemed neither fish nor fowl to me--but it lends itself well to Dick's prose, conveying a trippy, slighty ominous vibe that's appropriate for a story of drug addiction gone amok. (The Scramble Suits are especially well-done.) True, there were moments when I wanted to wipe all that digital paint away and see what the actors were doing (I still don't know exactly how Winona Ryder looks these days), but, overall, it enhanced instead of distracting.

The acting, with one exception, was top-notch. Of all the cast, Robert Downey Jr. is getting most of the critical kudos, and he deserves it. I don't know if I ever bought the Greatest Actor of his Generation hype, but his portrayal of James Barris, solipsist and manipulator extrordinaire, is nothing less than masterful. There's a chilling scene where Barris nonchalantly watches a fellow druggie choke to death, and Downey's perfect control of tone makes clear just how much of a sociopath his character is. As for the rest, Woody Harrelson, Rory Cochrane, and Winona Ryder all acquit themselves well, with Ryder especially good as the quintessential Dark-Haired Girl of Dick's novels (albeit with blonde highlights).

As for Keanu Reeves, well, it's not necessarily a put-down when I say he was adequate in the role of Officer Fred/Bob Arctor, narcotics cop, and friend and fellow addict of Barris's. As in the book, Fred goes undercover as Arctor and becomes a hard-core user of Substance-D, a drug which eventually splits the hemispheres in his brain, making him unable to recognize that Fred and Arctor are the same person. (When you learn that Fred is assigned to electronic surveillance of the house Arctor lives in, you get an idea of how tragically fucked-up his situation is.) It's a weighty role, and Reeves mostly does okay, though it's depressing to wonder what another actor (Ed Norton, for example) might've done with it. Reeves' lack of vocal control and facial expressivess sort of work in his favor here, conveying some of Fred/Arctor's brain-damage and confusion, though when he's in scenes with Downey and Harrelson, his limitations as an actor are obvious. Overall, he doesn't drag the film down, though he would've done better in Harrelson's role.

Usually, when Hollywood adapts Dick, they focus on the mind-bending aspects of his work and jettison everything else. Linklater realizes, however, that the reason that Dick's books ARE so trippy is because they're rooted in the mundane. Dull jobs, crappy homes, technology that enervates, the tension in relationships between the sourness of routine and the hope of transcendence . . . A SCANNER DARKLY finally gets that part of Dick right, and it's about time. Dick's humor is captured as well; the audience I was with laughed often and loudly. (The funniest part in the book, Freck's suicide attempt, is translated BEAUTIFULLY.) There's no scimping on the pathos, either, with an ending that's as heart-breaking, yet optimistic, as anything I've seen all year.

Bottom line: it's the best Philip K. Dick adaption yet made. If you have any love for PKD, or you want to escape the doldrums of the summer blockbusters, go see it, with all due haste.

Whoops, talk about a typo changing a comment, "Eric was justifying this, you dolts..." should have read "Eric was NOT justifying this, you dolts...."

-TODD

Holy Sheepshit people, I don't believe a Hollywood moron's anti-semitic remarks have you all up in a tizzy. Who the fuck cares? This coming from a Jew (a very Jewy Jew, mind you, being that I sprung from the loins of a Rabbi): is it so shocking that someone is bigoted just because he is famous? Do you still go to Spike Lee movies.....or listen to Jesse Jackson speeches.....even though they have had their share of anti-semitic remarks?

I do.....not the JJ speeches, but yes I do attend most Spike Lee movies when he's not stumbling around in Nuttyville with shit like He Hate Me. Bamboozled is a find, if anyone can find it.

But I'm getting off the point. A) Mel is anti-semitic. Shock of shocks. Do we have to now debate this ad nauseum because he is famous? Shhh, I'm going to let you in on a little secret....keep it to yourself.....there are a whole bunch of anti-semitic people in the world, and there are a whole bunch of bigoted people in the world who hate other races and religions and facial features. In fact, if you killed everyone in the world who made some form of bigoted remark or had bigoted thoughts in their head, you would probably run out of people to kill by the time you reduced the Earth's population to a coupla thousand (hey, then we save the Environment and Al Gore gets to lead us to safety...huzzah)!

B. Those who are jumping all over Eric Martin's words are bigoted toward Eric Martin. Shit, people, he said nothing wrong. He gave no justification. He made a glancing comment to the fact that Mel's tirade started because he was insulting a Jewish cop. Eric was justifying this, you dolts, he was stating a fact. If the cop was a Siamese Twin, Mel would have probably made some joke about how Siamese Twins own all the banks in the world and run Hollywood.

Yeah, Mel grew up in a home that hated Jews. He was raised by a father that stated that the Jewish population in Poland was reduced because the Jews just decided to leave on their own, and that the Holocaust exists only to raise money for Holocaust Museums (since, hell, those Holocaust museums are raking in more cash that Pirates Of The Carribean II). I guess some of ole daddy rubbed off on the Melster. And he hates Jews. And the world continues to rotate. Must we obsess just because Hollywood Mel hates Jews.....having been educated in the history of my people, I must say that this isn't the first person in the world to express such an opinion.

Now, I must depart. My bank awaits, and I must decide what southern hick to put out of work and take his home.

-TODD

Fondling the Teats

> A, O, WAY TO GO OHIO

Odd. I always heard that one as "A, O, where'd you go, Ohio?"


Couple days ago, Jan asked:

> I'm becoming curious as to what exactly you are doing,
> David-- will the new GLASS TEAT edition feature footnotes
> by you or Harlan? Are you responsible for the new editions,
> or is Harlan? Are both books getting the same treatment?
> Asimov did all his indexing himself, he didn't trust anyone
> with that. I'm glad Harlan has you.

Thanks. I meant to answer right away, but didn't want to violate the one-a-day rule, and then I forgot.

I'm indexing the Glass Teats, something which somebody should have done 36 years ago, with the first edition, or for any of the two subsequent ones. I had the idea and volunteered to do it right here on the Art Deco Dining Pavilion some time ago (a year, maybe?) and Harlan took up my offer. I'm not "responsible" for the new editions, if you mean to ask whether I'm the publisher or work for it (Charnel House); I'm just an outside, hired gun.

But yes, I'll be doing an index for both books. That's no absolute guarantee they'll APPEAR in both books, but Harlan told me the publisher is willing, and he did send me a copy of the galleys.

I've also incidentally noted proofreading and factual errors, while I was plowing through the galleys -- some of which survived through past editions of the book -- which I've passed along to Harlan and Charnel House.

(Oh, I'm gonna regret this.)

Mark, Brian. Eric was noting that Gibson's tirade seemed to be an out-of-the-blue attack upon the Jewish. The fact that the arresting officer is indeed Jewish doesn't excuse Gibson one whit, it simply gives a context in which the non-sequitor now has a reference. I don't read a single inferrence in Eric's post that suggests it's in any way other than Gibson's fault/action.

Berke Breathed, creator and grand poobah of the wonderful 'Bloom County', once coined the term "offensensitivity" to describe the extreme overreaction to a non-existant slight.

Gibson slighted, Eric did not.
________________________________________

Speaking, as we weren't, of Harlan Ellison, is he off at this point making a mutant of himself -- or is that still to come?

Eric,

I see from the newswire that you are correct and the arresting officer was Jewish. I have absolutely no idea what relevance this has on his anti-semitic outburst.

Your implication that Gibson has "J-dar" rather than "gaydar" as an explanation for what caused his tirade is insulting as is your implication that this was caused by his being drunk and stupid.

The only thing the alcohol provided was a lowering of his defenses so that his anti-semitism had a chance to leak out.

At least there is one good outcome from this arrest, ABC cancelled Gibson's Holocaust project. Considering his views, I think he might have chosen to represent the Holocaust as a fantasy, rather than an attempted genocide.

Just minutes ago Gibson apologized. There has been no word from Harlan about whether to accept or reject that apology.

>Next month from Eric's pen: "George Lincoln Rockwell: Statesman or Martyr?"<

You are a really mean, ugly son of a bitch, Siano. And no longer in my universe.

No, Brian, you big goof. All Eric was saying was that the anti-Semitic statements, which seemed to come out of left field for the drunken knucklehead that is Mel Gibson, was that the cop was Jewish, thus explaining the WHY of the particular bigoted statements. If the cop was black, that would be the explanation if Gibson had uttered something about niggars.

Eric's statement implies nothing, nor states anything, about Mel Gibson's tirade being the cop's fault.

Eric Martin writes:
"Turns out the arresting officer was Jewish, which might explain Mel's non sequitorial rave-up. Maybe he's got some "gaydar" for Jewish people that is especially attuned when he's had too much Mezcal."

Gosh, that changes _everything_. It was the _cop's_ fault for _looking Jewish!_ Wasn't he aware that his mere _presence_, coupled with his powerful Semitic features, turns good, decent family men like Mel into raving Jew-haters? How dare he stop a guy who's speeding at 80 miles per hour, find that he's obviously severely inebriated, and _expose_ him to his Jewishness? Why, Eric's right! It's the _cop's_ fault for making Mel Gibson into an anti-Semite!

Next month from Eric's pen: "George Lincoln Rockwell: Statesman or Martyr?"

Rock & Roll epigrams and Harlan
Readers of Harlan know that he is quite fond of the epigram as a little applied frosting on his fiction - and even some of his non-fiction for that matter. I love epigrams and it is in no small part due to reading a steady diet of them with many of my favorite writers since I was, oh, 14 or thereabouts. They were there before then but reading things like Harlan's The Deathbird and his PAINGOD collection probably got me to thinking about them.

Nowadays - because I am insane - when I hear a good quote or read an epigram or hear a certain kind of lyric (and god knows as I age it's getting harder for me to "hear" a lyric, at least the first time through) I think to myself, "oh, that would be a good epigram if I were writing about X or Y or Z" or X,Y & Z are usually either Mark Twain or our patron. Don't worry - I'm getting to it. Lately I've had some rock an roll lyrics in my head and EVERY time I hear them I think of Harlan.

What I thought I would do is just give 2 of them and ask if this has ever happened to you in a Harlan-centric manner. Here are my examples. Awhile back Doug Lane and I were in Painesville and although I never mentioned it to him the soundtrack in the back of my head was THE PRETENDERS and particularly from
MY CITY WAS GONE;

I WENT BACK TO OHIO
BUT MY CITY WAS GONE
THERE WAS NO TRAIN STATION
THERE WAS NO DOWNTOWN
SOUTH HOWARD HAD DISAPPEARED
ALL MY FAVORITE PLACES
MY CITY HAD BEEN PULLED DOWN
REDUCED TO PARKING SPACES
A, O, WAY TO GO OHIO

The other one - and this one has been spinning in the Gulliver for MONTHS is Fiona Apple's EXTRAORDINARY MACHINE;

I certainly haven't been shopping for any new shoes
And I certainly haven't been spreading myself around
I still only travel by foot and by foot it's a slow climb
But I'm good at being uncomfortable so I can't stop changing all the time

I noticed that my opponent is always on the go
And won't go slow so as not to focus and I notice
He'll hitch a ride with any guide as long as they go fast from whence he came
But he's no good at being uncomfortable so he can't stop staying exactly the same

If there was a better way to go then it would find me
I can't help it the road just rolls out behind me
Be kind to me or treat me mean
I'll make the most of it I'm an extraordinary machine

**********************************************************

Particularly the last two lines which I picture Harlan carrying around like a banner in life's parade.

So, if you have a rock & roll lyric in your head that you associate with Harlan, as a distraction from the heat I'll be facing out of doors the next two days, I'd love to see them.

[caveat - both of those lyrics were pulled from arist's sites or record company sites. Neither is complete. The Ohio is one third of the lyric and the Apple is about half. I think we;re in "fair use" territory. If not my sincere apologies and just quote the artist and title and I'll figure it out.]

- Barney

Heatingup, PA.

Turns out the arresting officer was Jewish, which might explain Mel's non sequitorial rave-up. Maybe he's got some "gaydar" for Jewish people that is especially attuned when he's had too much Mezcal.

Mel has just checked himself into rehab. Next stop: Webderland, home for any social misfit who may wander our way...

You cheeky monkeys should stop worrying about Mel Gibson and check out the tv show Slings and Arrows if you haven't already. Season 3 just started here in Canada, and it's hilarious and moving as always. Season 1 has the bonus of co-starring Rachel MacAdams right before she hit it big.

Seriously -- if you like theatre, you'll find a lot of stuff to love, and if you don't like theatre, you'll still find stuff to love. And fans of Kids in the Hall or Due South take note -- Mark McKinney and Paul Gross are the male leads for this show about the New Burbage (ie. Stratford) Festival and its annual travails putting on its schedule of plays. The Season 2 climax, in which Macbeth premiered, was absolutely hilarious.

Cheers, Jon

Eureka
I am finding the same problem with Eureka that others have had. The producers' claim is that the hardware will play second to the characters in the series, but we only see the titles characters none of the "worlds' greates genuises" whose ideas should be all over the townscape since its founding sometimes during the Truman Administration.

Recalling one of Harlan's key essays from the Glass Teat about the 'common man' this series places the not too bright even for a US Marshall but is more then bright enough to solve crimes in a technological wonderland that is a cross between Area 51 and Northern Exposure (A major influence the Producers have admitted to).

I am not sure if they think the viewer is too stupid to be able to identify with a smart person, or that they need to feed into the myth that the "common" (i.e. uneducated, untrusting of technology or anything not wrapped in a bible, a flag or coming in a 6 pack) is the only kind or person who can out think the heavy thinker, and get us out of the problems these "extraordinary men" create.

There is more potential in this series, but for a series that is suppose to use SF trapping to tell entertaining stories about people, technology, and how to deal with the problem of those two foces, it boils down to Andy of Mayberry with rayguns, and dumb downs the idea of math and science, when our culture is already one of consumers of others idea, then a culture whose ideas once made everyone salivate.

EUReKA's not really gelling for me. Part of the problem is that they're focusing on the non-genius characters (the marshall, his daughter and the uber-military trained deputy, the administrator) with the geniuses as background supporting characters and plot devices. Which may be because it's hard to write folk whose intelligence is supposed to be much greater than your own.

Still, they're not coming across as geniuses. Take Susan, who we learned in ep 2 had an MIT graduate degree. You could've replaced that background with "liberal arts/business degree from a mid-level state school" and it wouldn't have made any difference with respect to her actions and character; she just didn't act like someone that smart, or with a science background.

And all too often, it's the non-genius marshal who comes up with the clever idea. Once or twice maybe to show he's no slouch, but the residents should be coming up with most of these.

And finally, the administrator's right; the marshal's not funny, although he thinks he is. But there should be a *lot* more humor flying around from the geniuses. For a good example of how things are really like at the closest real world equivalent to Eureka, namely Caltech/MIT, I strongly recommend the 1980s movie Real Genius. The only two scenes that strike me as off in it are that the school President is too foggy, at least in his first few scenes, and that other students in the dining hall would not react the way they do when a certain thing happens to Mitch there. A fair number would've been actively sympathetic.

To "have" a big gratuity. Sheesh.

Joementum is going down in flames. Leiberman has got to go, and go quick. No more Bush democrats, no more elite sissy boys, drinking the kook aid, reading the funnies--the punchline is a black eye to Uncle Sam. Ned Lamont, you sexy bastard, beat the Joementum, beat the Joementummm!! Wish I could vote in Connecticut.

Biden, yea, I am looking at you, ya creep. Yea, I saw you crawl from the Munsters trapdoor, to click champagne flutes with your Joey. "He has coattails, he has coattails," you may cry out from that sissy beak. We know the real deal, Biden. Internal politics trump the betterment of the country, don't they, ya freak? Tonguekiss the beehive if you want, me and my peeps have the 411. All the war supporters will meet at the Hearbreak fucking hotel. Your dinner check is going to a big gratuity: a kick in the keister. War lovin Democrats have no place in our club, no mo.

Thank you, Frank Church, for reminding us all of an important memory from th Mel Gibson affair-- namely, the appalling willingness of right-wingers, like Bill O'Reilly and David Horowitz and Michael Medved, to _defend_ Mel Gibson. Not only didn't they have a problem with Gibson using the death of Jesus as a means to blame the Jews for iniquity, but they were more than eager to portray concern about anti-Semitism as a sign of liberal hypersensitivity and malignity against a "good family man."

Those right-wing creeps stood alongside of a barking, foaming bigot, a man clearly consumed by deranged hatreds, and tried to pass him off a decent and devout man who was _even better_ than those loudmouth liberals.

If Gibson had fucked chickens, they'd be telling us that the chickens enjoyed it and the eggs were better for it.

Shirley Booth
For anyone that is interested, the first season of "Hazel" will be out on DVD tomorrow 8/1/06. I used to watch this show as a kid, and even then we all knew that Ms. Booth was the best thing about the program (she won TWO Emmy's for the role of Hazel). I can still hear her saying "alright Mr. B"....!

Erp. Make that "fiancee". (Don't want to make this a more controversial show than warranted.)

Recommendation

Okay, so I tuned in to the highly promoted and glitzy show called EUReKA last week (see, I even made a small "e" just like they do in the logo). Cute show, very nice and shiny and quirky. Jury's still out, but it could be good.

But, and this is a big one, you have all GOT to see the new show LIFE ON MARS being telecast on BBC America. The program centers on a 2006 detective who gets into an accident on his way to rescue his fiance. He awakens in 1973.

Watched a rerun of the pilot episode last evening and was stunned with how good it is -- or will be if they continue the same way. DOCTOR WHO meets STARSKY AND HUTCH with a dash of CSI. Mondays at 10pm EST.

Highly recommended.

I like Mel Gibson movies, and I like Tom Cruise movies. I have no idea what they're like as people. And, frankly, I don't care. They're not coming over to my house for dinner, and I don't have to worry about their kids playing with my kids.

But, I like most of their movies.

Religion in the movies.
Quote:
"And Madonna is a true practicioner of the Kaballah."

Ahhh Chuck. It's so easy to get caught up in our cynicism, and to malign the fine folks in Hollywood. And it is true that there are many, many fakes. Madonna. Gibson. People who give all actors a bad name.

But there is one actor, one paragon of religious virtue, one man who stands head and shoulders (figuatively at least) above the rest.

Perhaps the one true believer in all of Hollywood:

Tom Cruise.

Thank you! I'm here all week.

Try the fish.

Mel, Mel, Mel.
I remember once reading that Gibson called himself a devout Catholic.

I thought, "Yeah, right. I'll believe that when the pope makes a movie where he kills fifty people and shows his bare butt."

And Madonna is a true practicioner of the Kaballah.

Insert eyeroll here.

Chuck

The Passion of the Cuervo (or the Cazadores, as the case may be)

Mary wrote: "I understand he's already got another movie in the works with some ancient Mayan dialect to boot.

My only response to that is 'Why?'"

To find yet another language where his actors can say "Goddamned filthy kikes" without anyone knowing, of course! (Sorry, I couldn't resist. You have to admit, though, that schadenfreude rarely gets this good.)

FRANK:

(In regards to Mel Gibson's screw-up) Damn, that was beautifully put. I couldn't have said it better myself. I too would just as soon Mr. Gibson take his final bow and just get the hell outta Dodge, but before he does, he should give every cent he earned off that turkey called the "Passion" and give it to worthwhile causes. I understand he's already got another movie in the works with some ancient Mayan dialect to boot.

My only response to that is "Why?"

Mel's Latest Opus
I have it on good authority that when Mel Gibson was busted for DUI, the officer found a copy of a book in his car. The title: "The Protocols of the Elders of Malibu." Of course I'm just joking, but hey, it would make a good urban myth don't you think?

Harlan, thanks for that data re: Shirley Booth.

I forget sometimes why I appreciate your input on film so much, until you open new windows of information I'd missed in my long examination of the medium. I knew NADA about Shirley Booth, save for the few exposures I had to the show HAZEL on cable back, I think, in the early 90's. I found the show so lame and uninteresting and simple in its humor that I'd mentally collated it with a number of mundane, boring comedies from that era, like MY THREE SONS, THE BRADY BUNCH, FAMILY AFFAIR, and a recent discovery, JULIA; SOME of which, likewise, starred names of earlier prestige, like Fred MacMurray (compare his wooden role in MTS to his incredible stuff in movies like THE CAINE MUTINY and DOUBLE INDEMNITY), Brian Keith, and Sabastion Cabot.

I read no so long ago that Jeffrey Hunter, after having built an impressive filmography that included THE SEARCHERS and KING OF KINGS (not to mention the Star Trek pilot), was actually expressing interest for the lead in THE BRADY BUNCH when the idea for the series was first being pushed. Apprently, steady paychecks from an ongoing tv series often did better for these performers than major movie roles, regardless of how shitty the show may have been. I very often overlook that.

But in my mind, these low-brow shows do a terrible disservice to these talents - at least aesthetically. We all remember Angela Lansbury, for example. Well, for years I had found her presence kinda nauseating because of the "wholesome" image shaped in such items as BEDKNOBS AND BROOMSTICKS and MURDER, SHE WROTE (alright maybe YOU all liked that series; I had zero interest myself). But once I saw her in MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE, as the most abysmal, psychotic harpy this side of Anne Coulter, I WORSHIPPED her talent. The point is, had I never seen that movie I never would have watched her in anything else or appreciated her ability. For me, she'd have faded into nothing.

And that's where my appreciation for this discussion of Shirley Booth crosses. If you hadn't cited her earlier achievements on Broadway and her role beside Burt Lancaster, her name would have remained completely meaningless to me.

I'll look up that film soon to see what SB could really do.

**Having recently read the "series" bible by Harlan and Ben Bova for THE STARLOST, I rented the 4 first episodes to look at what the show COULD have been, and what few pieces of the great vision remained. It's terrible what they did, but its ideas resonate so powerfully that even the descrecration leaves a viewer with things to think about; the vast Ark and a "primitive" people - isolated for generations in their own biosphere - discovering they are more than what they believed themselves to have been is such a compelling concept, drawing on one of the most powerful questions we, as a species, live with EVERY day - if only subconsciously - that it's hard not to enjoy this show to some extent.

Harlan, of all your undertakings, I wish reinventing this series - keeping all the science intact (no Star Wars shit) for cable were among them. It's an astonishing piece.

***Just saw SECRET WINDOW with Johnny Depp. With some minor reservations (before the final act, mainly) I think it's a du-wiffik flick. Very good film. Perhaps I connected with it so well because I've been watching THE ALFRED HITCHCOCK HOUR almost nightly, and this movie, frame for frame, is like something straight out of that series.

When I thought the movie was getting predictable, it managed to throw in a few interesting spins. Who "the Dairy Man" really turns out to be was a beautiful resonating little twist. A nice showcase for Depp.

Who needs Hallowell, when we have our little bit of sunshine, Harlan the human book of pop culture stew. Churn the stew and out pop potatoes that bob up, looking a lot like human heads.

------------

The whole left had a healthy laugh today when the Gibson news came down. Once again, we have been vindicated. Frank Rich and others got their nads deep fried when they brought up the racist elements of the Passion Of The Cringe, but O'Reilly and his lowrent, lowball crew would not put away the Ginzu. Just like his father, Gibson is the hypocrite he pretended not to be. He even swore at a cop. I thought conservatives respected authority? All the Passion lovers have to feel real silly, if not downright stupid to fall for a fraud like our Smelly Mel.

A drunk, a jew hater, a cop basher. My, how the Hollywood elite float.

The Passion fans and supporters of the state of Israel have a lot to explain. Remember, they defended this crap, blaming the left elites for their attacks against humble Christian faith. We were right, they were dead wrong--crazy wrong.

I hope the guy gets sober; then he can just go away.

answers

STEVE--

your advice from Harlan appears in his ANSWER TO TESS on Friday, May 12 2006 18:28:23


Harlan and all-

It would appear that Ms. Shirley Booth passed away 16 October 1992 of natural causes. She was in her nineties. I seem cautious because this answer was found on the Wild Wild Web.

Rick

Mel's usual

According to the police report, Mel had a bottle of Cazadores Tequila in a brown paper bag. For those who might like to booze like a world-famous director, here ya go:

http://www.beerliquors.com/buy/liquors/cazadores.htm

You'd think Gibson would be drinking Gibsons. But maybe he ran out of cocktail onions...

Mad Mel, Hazel & SHE
Gibson belongs to a catholic sect, that refutes Vatican II and all moderen trappings of the 20th and 21st Century that the church has had to deal with willingly or not.

One of those things that Gibson does not accept is that the Jews were not responsible for the death of Christ. He forsquares believes they are responsible for the death of his savior and like a lot of backward thinking folks build on that dislike, until it came spilling out from too much hooch and too little commonsense.

I was not totally convinced that the "Passion of Christ" was deliberately anti-semtic when it came out, but after Mel's spewing that idea may need to be rethought. Its amusing that he has had trouble with his father --- a leader of this sect--- for being inpolitic about his feeling towards groups and then shares close to the same thoughts after falling off the wagon---or the cross.

Although some may not remember the Cartoon or Sitcom "Hazel", or sadly the talented Shirley Boothe, most here will remember Ted Key's other cartoon creation: "Peabody and Sherman" for Jay Ward's "Rocky and Bullwinkle" program. He conceived the idea, and approach but left it to the Ward staff to develop it into what we recall as a most 'improbable history' Kind of like Mel Gibson's view of the world.

By the way KINO CINEMA, does have a DVD of "SHE" out, but it is the Ray Harryhausem approved restoration/colorization that I saw and has tickled my fancy.

KINO is for my money almost as good at preservation as Criterion, especially in the area of silent films, but I am keeping a watch out for the Legend Films release of SHE in November.

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I'm sure someone's already thought of trawling the archives and assembling an "Unca Harlan's Advice" page. But if I'm wrong and no one has, well, then, I'm suggesting it might not be a bad idea-- assuming it doesn't encourage people to treat him like Miss Lonelyhearts.

In the meantime: apparently the East Coast is due to get that insane heat wave that hit California this week. Temperatures well past 100. Just marvelous.

As for Mel Gibson... Normally, I'd say it's sad when someone falls off the wagon in such a spectacular way. But not everyone who does starts barking and foaming with disgusting paranoid rants about Jews. The ones who do are venting the sewage they dare not share with civilized people. So here's hoping he drinks himself to death, in public, and lives up to his _South Park_ portrait as much as possible. Maybe, with luck, his kids'll change their names out of shame.

Could someone please direct me to the spot in the Archives where Harlan gave some extremely practical advice on how to make sure one gets paid what one is worth when being hired for a writing project? It should come in handy for me in my next semi-life as a freelance proofreader. (My next full life will be as an archaeologist -- I'm off on a dig in a week to help further that goal.)

A general time frame and the name of the advice-seeker should be all I need to track the posting down myself.

Many thanks.

Mel Gibson is an anti-Semite? Say it ain't so!

Not really HE-related, but funny as hell to read about: http://www.tmz.com/2006/07/28/gibsons-anti-semitic-tirade-alleged-cover-up/. Apparently, ol' Mel went off on an obscenity-laden rant against the Jews when he was arrested for a DUI early Friday morning; reports that he demanded to be beaten, flogged, and nailed to the roof of a patrol car have yet to be confirmed . . .

Naturally...
As usual and none too surprising, i thought the answer would come from here. Much gratitude and indebtedness.
Harlan & Co~ Safe trip, fun times, good memories. Break a leg.
Thanks Boss,
Paul

Harlan, it looks like Shirley Booth died back in 1992 (and she had a good long life,, being born in 1898). I found her credits at the Internet Broadway Database:

http://www.ibdb.com/person.asp?ID=25899