Unca Harlan's Art Deco Dining Pavilion

Archive - 03/17/2006 to 06/06/2006

Unca Harlan's Art Deco Dining Pavilion

Oh damn,
I meant to take out that part with the "p" word-- that was coarse.
:(
oops,
Cindy

Steve! Hey, Steve! No, No--the Other Steve

STEVE EVIL:

My "patronizing" remark was actually directed at Steve Barber. I should have used an initial to clarify who the hell I was adressing. Sorry 'bout that.

-----------------

STEVE BARBER:

You were quite kind to apologize for the tone of your comment on the Canadian election, and now I feel guilty for being perhaps a tad too defensive. I'd say, "Damn you for being so reasonable," but that wouldn't be polite.

D.

Dorman,
What you say is true. Those who make up lies should be routed out. Of course from where I am perched on the starboard side-- it looks like Michael Moore would be a good place to start the flossing.
I still think Kinky Friedman got it right when he said George W. is a good man trapped in a Republican body. The war started out looking like a necessary thing to get rid of a blood thirsty despot who had used weapons of mass destruction on defenseless children, men and women. I am sickened and ashamed that we stand by and allow something like Darfur to continue.
I don't defend the administration-- just W. I agree he made a mess with those appointments--a swarm of imbeciles. I don't think Clinton did much better with the lick spittle twins Sandy Berger and Madelyn Albright. I believe when closely examined history proves each president ( like each flesh and blood human being on Earth) is a mixed bag. I couldn't abide Clinton when he was in office. I think my antipathy toward him sprang largely from a dislike for his wife's politics and the fact that he was a cheat. Looking back now I can see that I blew the whole matter entirely out of proportion. Clinton had lied so convincingly about not having the affair with Monica that I believed him. I felt sorry for him and thought Monica was the devil in a beret. Later..after the DNA dress; I felt like an idiot for having believed him in the first place. Now with the passage of a few years-- I'm a little older I see things more clearly. Clinton pretty much kicked ass as a president. I applaud what he did in Kosovo and I thought he showed real class when he toured with Bush Sr. The pardons he handed down as he left office could probably still piss me off if I dwelled on it-- but I don't.
:)
No body's perfect; Clinton and his successor are only mortal men. How could they not fuck up? They're people. George W. has acted on some very bad advice in some instances. I still think Iraq needed what we did there. The world needed somebody to cull Sadaam.
Cindy
P.S. I read the U.N. does not want the " West" to send in troops to Darfur to protect the innocents. WTF? The United Nations' tits on a boar hog approach to human slaughter is unconscionable. What a bunch of pussies. Guilt by ommission is guilt nonetheless.


Keith Cramer,
Hey.
:)
On fiddling while Rome burned.
Okay; it looked bad-- I'll give you that, but that's one of those scenarios that you can armchair quarterback all day long. Not too many people in the history of this nation have had a test of that magnitude. Truman could tell you what it feels like-- J.F.K. could... other than that ( in recent times) who else? Would Bush not have been equally criticized if he had run from the room flanked by secret service men? He didn't look cool-- he didn't look like a man of action and he didn't look like the leader of the free world at that moment... but hell, he was in shock-- we all were. If this had been a Hollywood script he would have done something better-- but real life is just that and the cameras were rolling. I don't think you can bust his chops for being human or for taking a moment to gather his thoughts and consider his options.
Cindy

Steve Dooner,
I agree it has nothing to do with patriotism-- mine or anyone else's. My support for this war is actually more of a sad, grim understanding that we can't abandon those we waded in to save until they are secure in their ability to protect themselves.
My permanent jerk of the knee when it comes to Michael Moore stems from his utterly amazing lack of manners and respect. The scene that showed me all I need to know about the man featured an oily Moore worming his way into the home of an elderly man, Charlton Heston. Maybe it's my Southern upbringing-- but at the very least it was inexcusable bad form.
I feel profound gratitude and loyalty toward the honorable service men and women of this country. I feel protective of them as a group and individually-- even though they don't need it. I look at the old men in my town who went to Germany, Switzerland-- France to fight against Hitler and I want to cry. I think about the people they liberated and again I want to cry-- I think about my babies, my brothers, my grandmother, my mom .... and I think about the innocents who were slaughtered. I put myself in their places and I see our soldiers for what they are-- heros. Of course they know what they stand to lose-- but they sign up anyway. I remain in awe. Should those dauntless souls receive deference? Without question and to a greater degree than anyone else I can think of.
You are absolutely correct in your outrage. I feel it too when I consider our men and women were sent in without the very best of everything and lacking in the numbers necessary to complete the job as safely as could be possible. Bad advice was given and those who were responsible for it should be outfitted in the same substandard gear and sent to Fallujah to serve along side those whose lives they have endangered. .
To make our soldiers pay for their own medical treatment, to cut veterans benefits, including veterans disability pay is unconscionable. The deliberate editing of film to warp the statements of a man who has lost both arms in service of our country is egregious. Doubtless there are people he cares about still serving and risking their lives over there. Can you imagine being part of a unit-- being stateside and having someone twist your sentiments to make it look like you were in essence spitting on those whom you left behind? Would you feel like a victim if a propaganda machine had ground up your words and portrayed you as someone who would discount the ongoing war for a cause you would have given your life for?
Anyone who believes as I do understands that we are indeed our brother's keepers.
Cindy

Darryl,
I've missed your voice here abouts. You're right too. If McDonalds had been warned and they did it anyway then they deserved what they got. You're
also right about the fourth paragraph of Steve Dooner's message.
I''m glad to see you, my friend.
:)
Cindy

Dorman,
I don't defend the administration-- just W. He's not a rocket scientist-- but I believe he's a good man.

Steve Barber,
The necessity for the war remains the innocent people who were being butchered under Saddam. The reason we got into the war was Saddam's resolve to restrict the venues required by the U.N. for inspection. Three months, if you recall-- we gave him three months to allow the inspectors to do their jobs. It was ridiculous for the U.N. to put up with Saddam's bullshit. Had Saddam not been a spoiled child he would have opened the palaces the U.N. would have been placated. It didn't work out that way and certainly the U.N. certainly bears some culpability in this mire as well. Had they imposed some stringent sanctions on Iraq back when-- rather than allow Saddam to continue with his reign of terror unchecked perhaps it would not have come to this.
I doubt if the soldier no longer believes in the cause. It IS a righteous war-- just ask the women who no longer wear burquas. Ask the man who had hidden in the walls of his parents home for 30 years becasue he would have been killed if he'd been discovered. Ask those who used to witness the lopping off of heads and hands for minor infractions without trial. The war is righteous. Moore's treatment of the man's statement should result in punishment that deters him from doing it again. It isn't right to present something as truth if it isn't true. Moore re-victimized the soldier.
Moore mischaracterized a disabled veteran-- used him for his own financial and political gain and he should be punished for that.

Cindy


Dorman,
I share your outrage at the diatribe of the shop keeper. His statement about bombing the men women and children of Iraq is bone chilling. I don't think his "answer to a higher father" remark makes George W. a religious fanatic. To me it just sounds like he wanted to rack up a few points with the churchy sect.
I don't think organized religion in itself is a bad thing- but the extremes of organized religion can be diabolically dangerous.
yer pal,
Cindy

And it's 5-6-7-8,
Open up the pearly gates!
Well, there ain't no time to wonder why,
WHOOPEE! We're gonna die!

So once again, Uncle Sam is in a jam way down yonder in Vietraq. How did it happen? Who let it happen?

The answer: Everybody did.

The Democratic party for running two of the most lackluster presidential campaigns in the party’s history (2000 and 2004) and two of the most uninspiring candidates since Mondale and Dukakis (Gore and Kerry). The Republican party, who picked George W (Chimpy McFlightsuit) Bush instead of John McCain, who at least had SOME qualifications for the job, instead of a good PR team, which is all Bush had for the 2000 nomination.

Who else? How about the average voter, who decided not to Change Horses in Midstream, even though the horse was running rampant and threatening to drown the rider.

We all did. I should have become more involved in the campaign, but I was too busy trying to FUCKING STAY ALIVE during the latest bout of unemployment to be bothered. I had every reason to become more involved and certainly had time on my hands, but I couldn’t be bothered, had to find a fucking job. Still looking, by the way.

We had a chance. We had a chance to stop this bullshit in Vietraq back in ’04, but we didn’t. We kept Bush in office, and he’s simply done what he originally set out to do, which was to transform the middle east, to make it more friendly to the good ol’ U S of A. All we need is the same kind of imaginary troops that Hitler had to defend Berlin in the last days of World War Two, and we'll have Iran dancing to our tune in no time.

Yes, we needed to transform the Middle East by BOMBING the love of Uncle Sam into them there ragheads. And make no mistake, many people are using that particular pejorative when referring to anyone living in the Mideast these days.

We will accomplish this laudable goal by using the same strategy, by following the same arrogant ignorance of the region, its people and history that we brought with us into Southeast Asia and the Soviets brought into Afghanistan. Who needs to know anything about the people whose hearts and minds we’re supposed to be winning? After all, in every gook, there’s an American waiting to get out. Yup, that sure worked for us in Southeast Asia, didn’t it? Besides, we're the biggest, meanest sumbitch in the valley, right? We can beat them gooks with one hand behind our backs, right?

Yeah, right. Works every time.

As I understand it, there are two rules of war: 1) Know your enemy. 2) Strike for the heart. In Iraq we have done neither. We just send people there and expect them to lose life and limb because it’s their job. It’s what they signed up for, right?

And we must, we must, we MUST support our troops. With photo ops, with statements filled with empty bravado like, “Mission Accomplished” and “Bring it On”.

But not with Veteran’s benefits. Oh, no not that. That would cost money, which is needed to fund the war in Vietraq. Besides, those lazy-ass wounded veterans would just become the latest Welfare Queens, you know, the people who use their food stamps to buy Cadillacs and such. We must provide a “disincentive” for those who would live off the government teat. Those wounded veterans will just have to make their own way like the rest of us Fungible Assets.

As an example:
This year, the administration increased spending on veterans by $519 million. In 2006, it plans to cut veterans spending by $910 million.
That's a $391 million REDUCTION in veteran's benefits.

Yeah, support our troops. Tell me another joke. I could use the laugh.

RUMSFELD: “Come on, people are fungible. You can have them here or there."

adj. Of goods or commodities; freely exchangeable for or replaceable by another of like nature or kind in the satisfaction of an obligation.

Chuck

"And, much as I despise him--and her--I do not for a moment believe this current bullshit rumor about Dubya and Condoleezza having an affair"

I'd rather start - and I think it's a lot more justifiable, and BELIEVABLE, for that matter - an affair between Dubya n'Cheney. Who'd be d'man n' who'd be d'woman? Helluva challenge, dat 'n.

And WHAT a Video Spy Cam that would make!

We're supposed to honor and respect the bravery and sacrifices of our veterans. That's only decent, but it's really not as simple as that.

For example, what happens when people are brave, or make those sacrifices, for causes that are simply _wrong_, or for rotten and corrupt regimes? The invasion of Vietnam, conducted to prevent the outcome of that country's election? The annexation of Europe under German rule in the late 1930s? The establishment of Greater Serbia? The defense of Saddam Hussein against an effort by foreign armies to depose him?

When the _war_ is wrong, should we really honor the soldiers who participated? Now, keep in mind that I'm not talking about war crimes committed by individual soldiers under stress; it's horrible, yeah, and it'd be great if we could all be saints, but these are inevitable consequences of being in war.

I'm talking about wars, and tactics, created and implemented by commanders and political leaders: the use of cruel weapons like fuel-air bombs, ordering soldiers to rape civilian woman (as in Bosnia), the recruitment of children as in the Sudan? What if the war is conducted with horrific tactics, a disregard for conventions, and even the intention of targeting civilians?

I mean, we found it repugnant when Reagan dropped a wreath over SS graves at Bitburg; what about U.S. soldiers who participated in war crimes in other wars?

Well, most of us are _not_ strict moralists, and it's more than a little cruel to pass such severe judgements on people who were, like most soldiers, young men misled into hell. So, we decide that we're not holding the soldiers responsible for the policy decisions of the leaders we had at the time. We say that we're honoring _their_ bravery and sacrifice. (We're also deciding to not look too closely at them as individuals. I, for one, reserve the right to _not_ honor such vets as William Calley or Oliver North.)

But that does create a real problem. Because while we're making this adjustment, and while we're _saying_ this, we're avoiding looking at an unpleasant fact: the fact that these noble traits were _misused and wasted_ by the likes of (here in the U.S.) MacNamara, Nixon or Rumsfeld.

There's really no other word for it. Obviously, we appreciate it when soldiers work for a _good_ cause, like ridding the world of Hitler and the Greater East Asia Co-Prosperity Sphere. Their sacrifices were for a good cause that, happily, won. But if equally brave people made the same effort for a cause that was nowhere _near_ as noble, And even if we _respect_ this effort, then we _have_ to face the fact that this wonderful bravery and heroism was _wasted_.

And while we can talk about what we do as a _society_ to deal with this legacy, we also have to ask ourselves what this means for us as individuals. I mean, if I look at the thousands of lives ruined for issues that seemed like a good idea at the time-- well, the _last_ thing in the world I want is for my life to be wasted in the same way. Even if the _cause_ is good, I'm not especially trusting of the people in charge.

So if there is some devaluing of military service in our culture, part of that is due to some fairly basic observation of what the sacrifices of soldiers really amount to. Our leaders obviously regard them as means to ends. Our citizenry is content with empty 'honoring' and cheap sentiment that doesn't _begin_ to address the horrors they've faced. And the people to _sent_ them there? We never punish _them_ for the waste.

BARNEY:

As far as I'm concerned, or WANT TO BE concerned . . . THIS is myspace. The reasons you give for wanting to drag me and/or my name into deeper, more treacherous internet swampsites SEEM quite nice and quite logical . . . if I actually GAVE a fuque about making money, which I pretty much don't, and never have. Oh, I know how to massage the market, all right, but doing things for money has NEVER tilted my pinball-machine.

Nonetheless . . .

I will not blow you off, old chum. I will turn you and this whole MySpace thing over to the Fang Who Walks Like a Woman, the OTHER Ellison. You hash it out with mah honey, and what you can con her into/out of and her decision either way, will be just fine with me.

Tomorrow Susan goes to work at the precinct polling station, all day; and I will be starting Day One of my jury duty in Beverly Hills. The Ellisons will be incommunicado due to Good Citizenship for at least the next 24 hours.

All the rest of you . . . try to behave yourselves till we resurface. And, much as I despise him--and her--I do not for a moment believe this current bullshit rumor about Dubya and Condoleezza having an affair. It is as despicable as what the right wing did to Clinton. For the good of your soul, disregard it.

Yr. pal, Harlan

Myspace redux
Since my initial proposal wasn't mocked eight ways to Sunday, let me just say a few more things.

The points made about Myspace being VERY VERY youth oriented and frequently monkey-butt ugly are true. Utterly true.

***IF*** I were given permission to build a Harlan Ellison [trademark] Myspace page There are a few simple rules that would guide me.

1.] I would keep the page as simple as possible in terms of design layout. There are a million bells and whistles you can put on those pages but things get busy real fast. Put in pre-loading audio and mandatory streaming video and shite and then just waiting for the page to load becomes a data processing career. Some of my own friends are the worst offenders. My own page is ugly ***TODAY*** because I tried to do a tiled image last night and realize the result is just wrong. However that's easily fixed.

2.] I think a couple of eye-friendly background colors, a dozen shots of Harlan [approved by Harlan] from various stages in his career, and links to Webderland and a few other on-line sources COMBINED with some front page info on where and how books and CD's may be purchased is all you would need to start. A news page could come later OR reinforce links to whatever is here. A sort of Ellison Field of Dreams/if-you-build-it-they-will-come deal.

3.] I know Myspace catches a lot of flack for the occasional 300 pound, 40 year old guy pretending to be a teenaged Ukranian immigrant who will do singing telegrams for free breast implants - that's the messed up nature of people and the net. Still, I see lots of "Good cause" Myspace pages and Indy band pages and comics professional pages [Fred Hembeck] that are using Myspace in a constructive fashion to supplement various Mom & Pop enterprises, which the H.E.R.C. clearly is. And I see nothing wrong with that.

I don't see Myspace displacing this venue at all. But what I do see NOW are Myspace profiles where you search for Harlan Ellison and he is listed as one of their favorite authors but those people (who clearly love Harlan's work) NEVER pop up in here. Or they only lurk. But I don't think they're getting here at all.

Then they go on to list TROUBLEMAKERS in their books profile because that book actually sort of does what it was intended to do. Find potential young HArlan readers. This site here is [mostly] for the choir. I like the choir just fine but I'd like to see a bigger congregation.

Supplemental Myspace formating note - There are PLENTY of people who love to tweak Myspace pages by assembling Myspace codes. I bet some of the best aspects of that theoretical Ellison page would be built by people who would love to just build a better Ellison page.

So, those are my slightly expanded thoughts today.

- Barney

Support this?
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/13124487/site/newsweek/

Yeah yeah, not every troop is a crazed maniac. But there's a fairly large number of warped indivduals over there, fighting not for freedom, not for democracy, but for some barbaic lord-knows-what. And those who don't participate, but do know about this tpye of behaviour, are part of the problem by not speaking out soon enough. Why 1.5 years after the fact, do we know just hear about these Caligula-wanna-be's?

I'd support the troops if they self-policed themselves. I'd support the troops if they had the balls to speak out against any of the atrocities of the Iraq war (in an appropriate time frame, not 18 months later). I'd support the troops if they asked Bush what the war is all about.

That was pretty harsh Harlan, but you are right about your comments regarding the Moore lawsuit. The soldier was probably told to sue, probably by some right wing crazy, like David Horowitz, or the like. They have undertaken a lifelong effort to squash the left, especially someone who connects with mainstream America, like the Flint wonder chunk.

I worry about the outcome because of the hallowed nature of how we view the military here. In the view of most Americans, the cup of Christ touches the lips of every serviceperson who enlists to aid our country's imperial jaunts. We view military people the way many view cops--and you know how many of those creeps go to prison or lose lawsuits. Hell, not even the Rodney King footage could convince the Jury that those fat swine were the racist thugs that they were. But, this soldier, with his puppy dog eyes and his sense of mission could sway any jury.

He also says that if he wins, he will donate all of his money to a charity for soldiers. Now tell me how that doesn't play to even the most leftist of juries?

I also fear that Moore will buckle and give the guy settlement cash. Moore is such a sap, with his frayed image, that it would not surprise me. But the message that would send would open the floodgate for lawsuits. I doubt Moore wants to be part of some lawsuit, when his new film is coming out in September. The dumbest thing he ever did was not respond to the guy. I hear Moore has yet to contact the guy. He said that Moore should apologize to him and he will drop the lawsuit. I just hope that the worst will not happen. Imagine the feeding frenzy?

There are hundreds of times that soldiers have been used by the media that could be seen to imply some slant. So, does that mean that the soldier, if so offended, could sue any network that tries to tell a story he may not like? Every politician has a case then, when it comes to the way footage is used by a network to make a slanted case. But, does that give them the right to sue? There has to be strict criteria when it comes to libel lawsuits. As an anarchist, I don't think there should even be libel laws, but that's for another day.

Cindy, you're a peach, but that last scribbling has no gas, whatsoever.

Those Texas papers are dangerous. hehe.

-----------

Well, let's see, the war is illegal, based on international norms of law, so any soldier that kills someone, even under the best intentions is still murdering them. Call that harsh if you will, but under an illegal occupation, the occupier has no rights, only to obey the norms of decency that international treaties give them.

People forget that Fallujah was an outright war crime, much worse that the Haditha murders. All of this on film, by an Italian camera crew. Sure, PBS refused to air the film, but that is its own shame.

I respect the soldiers who are just there, because they are told to, but if they cannot see what they are doing is wrong, then they are about as blind as any patriotic yahoo can be.

-----------

Here's one of the better defenses of Moore's film:

http://66.102.7.104/search?q=cache:qAccRuN5R7UJ:tbwt.org/index2.php%3Foption%3Dcontent%26do_pdf%3D1%26id%3D255+playthell+benjamin+michael+moore&hl=en&gl=us&ct=clnk&cd=4

The Whimper of Whipped Dogs
Cliff Pickover's RealityCarnival had this listed...

(05/24/06) Man lists every popular URL on the Internet
http://popurls.com/

At the top of the listings under 'metafilter.com' was this...

The Whimper of Whipped Dogs
http://www.metafilter.com/mefi/52108

The poster doesn't mention Harlan, though.

On War, Warriors and (hopefully) clarifications.
Mr. Sam Waterman wrote

"I'm not so sure Edward Yashinsky, the Yiddish poet who survived the Holocaust only to die in a Communist prison, was all that grateful."

Probably not. But the point isn't that the Evil Empire was any less evil. It is only a question of who destroyed the Nazi regime, and the fact is they did more than we did. Whether this is a good thing or not is another debate.

Mr. Barber:

I appologize if I sounded insensitive to this man's suffering, or indeed any of your troops. But I had to address the "They did this for you" chorus, and the "shut up" it implies. I am not gratefull that this young man lost his arms to an unjust war. I hope he is looked after and made comfortable as possible (despite the Republicans constantly cutting back veteran's benefits), and I won't condemn him personally for serving. But I can't see his actions as heroic. I think they were tragic. That he honestly believed himself to be doing the right thing makes it all the more tragic. These kids are being fed into a meat grinder, and I wish people would stop saying it was for my benfit.

It is a fallacy that opposing the war is by definition not supporting the troops. I support the troops fully and whole heartedly. Tha's why I want to bring them home before any more of them are killed. I don't see how continuing to feed them into the meat grinder constitutes support. ( I am not suggesting this is what you said. This is the attitude I was attempting to address with my previous statement).

And I still do not think it is desirable to have soldiers who don't think about the consequences of their actions, which someone else said.

This is not Canadian smugness but the God's honest truth as I see it. It is not a Canada vs. America thing. (and now Canadians are comming home in body bags as well, and terrorist cells are being uncovered in my own hometown, so my points are more relevant than ever. I would make the same argument for any unjust war being fought anywhere).

In summation:

Mr. Harrison:

It was not my intent to sound patronizing, but I meant what I said.

and Mr. Samuals:

I have indeed read "All Quiet on the Western Front". We have apparently derived different conclusions from it.


- Steve E.

'Cause I know how much you guys enjoy your quotations. Pick up a copy of The Quote Verifier, by Ralph Keyes.

I just got wind of this through Kilpatrick's column, and apparently Yogi Berra didn't say a lot of things he's supposed to have said, and Edmund Burke apparently didn't tell us "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing."

I've got my own opinions about the military, and while I can _intellectually_ agree with the macro-concept of Eric's statement, knowing some of the dudes and dudettes that are in the military I can't bring myself to really agree with it.

RAVENSCROFT

[deadly cool surname, by the way, Tony]

"On the up-side, I opened a long-misplaced box & found a bunch of "stuff I want to read when I can relax" books, including an Alfred Hitchcock omnibus with tales by deFrord, Sesar, Matheson, Sayers, & (!!) Kersh, plus a somewhat floppy "Impact-20" (William Nolan shorts, for you heathens)."

If that Hitchcock anthology is TERROR TIME you are in for a treat with Kersh's "Crooked Bone." One of my favorite stories by any author. My copy of IMPACT-20 is also all beat to shit. I think there is a good reason for this:

" 'Well?' I snapped, lighting a butt. I put it in the side of my mouth and let it live there." (from "The Beautiful Doll Caper") Aah, 1963...i was still poopin' my pants...


peace,somehow,
unheathen all-Rick

Kiss Butt - Then Kick It.
I've been reading this page for a couple months now, and I just can't hide any longer. I'd like to fire off a couple remarks then crawl back under my rock for a little while.

First off, to Mr. Ellison - I love your work. It's great. My best friend placed a copy of "Edgeworks Vol. 2" in my hands a couple years back, and it's been down hill ever since. Thanks for hours and hours of entertainment.

Second, I would like to stick my nose into this discussion about the military.

The one point I have to make on this is that it is not important that you _support_ your troops because you feel that what they are doing is right. The legitimacy of the conflict, its goals, its execution, its management - all that stuff - doesn't factor in one bit when I'm talking about servicemen. Politicians pick the fights and the soldiers fight them. It’s been that way for a long, long, time. If it changes, let me know.

You can be opposed to war and still support your troops. You can protest the war if you like and still be supportive and respectful towards men and women in uniform. It doesn't mean you have to respect the Air Force Captain that stole your wife. The reason I feel you _should_ be respectful and supportive is for this reason alone - it isn't you. If you live in a country that has an all-volunteer military, you're lucky. (That's a _standing_ military, so don't lay on that draft crap.) I believe...and please pardon my woeful ignorance here...many European nations have mandatory service requirements for men at age 18. Lucky you weren't born there.

Wanting your soldiers to come home is one thing, and _how_ they come home is another. I hate to go back to high school here, but Erich Maria Remarque's "All Quiet on the Western Front" does a pretty good job of dealing with most attitudes about war. I'd love to see everyone holding hands and skipping through fields as much as the next guy, but it just ain't a fact of life...at least not yet. Until that day, though, I'm endlessly thankful there is someone to do the dirty work so I don't have to.

My car is the blue Toyota. Direct your eggs thata way.

-Chuck

Harry Houdini
Potentially interesting, but kinda been done.

I remember a Houdini biography & autobiography that both deal quite clearly with his anti-spiritist crusade -- the autobiog is called "A Magician Among the Spirits" or something such.

Houdini was crushed by his mother's death, & wanted to speak to her spirit. He was shocked, then disgusted, to consult an endless string of fakes whose gimmicks were so shoddy that even a beginning showman would turn up his nose.

After watching these fakes manipulate peoples' lives, driving them to bankruptcy & even suicide, Houdini began a crusade to make spiritism a crime.

To read either man, you'd get the impression that Houdini & Conan Doyle were friends to the end, despite their deep religious differences.

(A funny story is Conan Doyle's role in discovering Piltdown Man.)

As for the "Houdini the spy" stuff, on the same order is "Carter Beats the Devil," which among other stuff involves a thwarted Presidential assassination & the corporate suppression of a new invention: broadcast TV.

The news page hasn't been updated in years
I'd be grateful for a reasonably accurate list of upcoming speaking events by Mr Ellison (or those personages he chooses to endorse) on the off-chance I might be down the road or even find some excuse to shift my schedule.

I'd settle grumpily for a retrospective calendar of Mr Ellison's appearances, writing benchmarks, etc.

I didn't want to wet-blanket the MySpace proposal -- but, see, while I retired the Selectric almost two decades ago, I'm not a bells&whistles sorta guy. If a website has extensive Flash animation, I likely never return. And my marketing-smarts tell me that MySpace isn't so much a "community" as a poorly run cult, with the Deep Lasting Social Meaning of "Magic: The Gathering" cards, Beanie Babies, & Tickle-Me Elmo, as are about 99.99% of the all-holy blogs.

Anyone wants to do it, they ought to go ahead, & I'll cheer their successes without claiming any of the kudos.

The Department of I MUST BE FUCKIN DREAMING (really)!
Okay, I'll admit the only stuff I know about HOUDINI (that will change soon as I get time to read some reputable bios) is a few articles I've read, bits of a history channel documentary, and the movie starring Tony Curtis. But the following description -- copied verbatim out of a catalogue for Atria Books, summing up a forthcomng title, THE SECRET LIFE OF HOUDINI by William Kalush and Larry Sloman -- Blew. Me. Away. Read on:

"Using exclusive access to newly uncovered archives, Kalush and Sloman reveal the clandestine agreements in which the United States and England recruited Houdini to be an active secret agent. In exchange for his cooperation, these governments facilitated his rise to the top of the world stage. The authors give thrilling accounts of his assignments, such as his participation in early aerial surveillance and his use of his own magic magazine to communicate espionage-related information.

After the war, Houdini embarked upon what became his most dangerous mission when he took on the Spiritualist movement. Convinced that Spiritualist mediums were frauds, he became obsessed with exposing them -- organizing his own group of disguised undercover operatives to infiltrate this seamy world. But the Spiritualists were a powerful adversary. An organized network of fanatics, led by Sherlock Holmes creator Arthur Conan Doyle, worked relentlessly to orchestrate a camapaign that would silence Houdini forever.

Grounded in solid research, but as exciting and dramatic as a good thriller, THE SECRET LIFE OF HOUDINI traces the magician's long and circuitous route from struggling vaudevillian to worldwide legend." (c) copyright 2006, SimonandSchuster

THERE are no copyright marks on that text, but just in case, and since it is the parent company, I inserted the copyright above.

OKAY: Does ANYbody know if the above claims -- made in this forthcoming bio -- really DO have any basis in fact? Man, even if they didn't, the guys who came up with this could put together a bangup historical thriller. Anybody? Beuller?

MySpace, and more examples of how people are sheep

Barney wrote: "I think Harlan ought to have a Myspace page. No, really. Not to pull anything away from here but to steer people here - and to the bookselling side of things. The template isn't "perfect" but I think it could be a very Harlan friendly / Harlan "hands free" way to promote some of Harlan's stuff."

I dunno, Barney. MySpace has always seemed to me to be LiveJournal's ADD-afflicted, airplane glue-huffing teenage sibling. The template isn't only less than perfect--it's cluttered, confusing, and downright ass-end-ugly, so much so I think it's purposely designed to be a visual irritant to anyone over the age of twenty. Maybe a Harlan MySpace could yoke in a few new readers, but I doubt it's worth the effort (it's a better promotional tool for actors and musicians, imho). Still, if you wanted to make one, I'd love to be proven wrong--unless it's a complete fuckup (not likely), it can't hurt Harlan's rep, and it certainly could help to get the word out on new projects. (Of course, this kind of brings up an obvious question: instead of branching out to other websites, why not revamp WEBDERLAND ITSELF? The news page hasn't been updated in years, other sections have fallen into disuse, and spambots have utterly run rampant over the whole megillah. As great as this site is, it's not all it could be, and I can't help but think that it could, with a little tweaking, become an exemplar of how to market an author's work.)

TO EVERYONE WHO READ "THE WHIMPER OF WHIPPED DOGS" (AS WELL AS, UM, THE GUY WHO WROTE IT): The Sundance Channel is currently running HUMAN BEHAVIOR EXPERIMENTS, a documentary on the three great psychology projects--the Milgram Experiment, the Stanford Prison Experiment, and the Columbia University bystander study--that have explored how quickly people can disregard their conscience and, under the right conditions, descend into apathy, abusive behavior, and outright sadism. The doc also mentions some real-life analogues to the experiments, including Abu Ghraib, a phone scam involving numerous fast-food restaurants from a few years back*, and, yes, the Kitty Genovese murder. If you can catch it, it's well worth the time.

*I had never even heard of this, but apparently it hit the national news in 2004. Someone pretending to be a cop or a regional boss would call one of these places--restaurants hit included McDonald's, Burger King, Hooters, Ruby Tuesday, Applebee's, Perkins, Taco Bell and others--and order the managers to strip-search employees in a bogus hunt for money, merchandise and drugs. This would go on for hours, and sometimes even involve sexual acts performed against the (mostly young) employees. Horrifying shit, needless to say.

>And for Eric: You need to read a bit more on the subject before making such grand statements.<

Oh, ok. Silly me. I didn't think it was that grand of a statement. Just a personal viewpoint.

You could just say you disagree with me, Steve, because I don't think your patronizing (and mildly insulting) suggestion "to read a bit more on the subject" is going to change my mind. Especially books by Stephen Ambrose...if he's your source for anything, then maybe YOU need to read a bit more.

(Douglas, you're right and I apologize. I was roundly astounded at the results of the last Canadian election, given the history of your country as progressive on so many fronts. I genuinely respect Canada and am sorry it came off the way it did.)

Now, on to the show:

Brian - You make a number of good points, however in response to this: "But if we were to be really cold, and say that these were people who let their lives be thrown away by our leaders... well, we'd be one step away from _laughing_ at their stupidity. But it'd raise a lot of questions, wouldn't it? It'd mean that even without wars, we're pretty worthless to the people who really _matter_ in our society. It'd mean that, even if we were to make some great sacrifice for the Greater Good... it may not be for the real Greater Good, it may not help at _all_, and it may not even be noticed by anyone... least of all our leaders, or the generations that file past the memorials without reading the bodiless names."

No. Uh-uh. There are many, many other reasons society must pay respect to military service. Unfortunately, in America that service has been devalued because of the tone of the debate over wars in general. America has moved militarily away from a protectionist role towards an aggressive role in the world. It started in Korea, moved dramatically into Vietnam and has now settled down in Iraq.

In each of these wars we maintained that we, as a nation, were threatened. We were never attacked by any of these regimes, and yet we felt comfortable attempting to impose our power and will upon these nations to get them to "think like we do".

But -- and this is a big one -- I'm not sure that you fully understand the true relationship between the troops on the ground and the intelligentsia running the show. It often astounds me (and this is not a personal attack, just an observation) how people who have never served in the military assume they know how it works.

Am I defending the civilian government or the senior leaders in the Pentagon? No.

Am I defending those troops who commit horrific acts in the name of their service? No.

I am honoring and appreciating the people who serve in the military at all levels who are decent, hard-working and patriotic citizens who genuinely believe what they're doing is some good in the world. And for others to stand on the sidelines with no full understanding of what it means to serve in the military is more than a little disingenuous and frankly smacks of elitism in and of itself.

Kerry criticized a war AFTER experiencing it. Our buddy Harlan did his service, along with thousands of other critics of military adventurism.

(Disclaimer: No, I never served, which is precisely why I won't condemn the entirety of the armed forces. There are too many honorable, respectable and downright idealistic people serving.)

And for Eric: You need to read a bit more on the subject before making such grand statements. I might suggest you find, in a used bookstore or online, a 1970s-era book which details the actual relationship between our civilian society and the armed forces which protect it. The book is entitled "The Military and American Society" by Stephen Ambrose and *ahem* James A Barber. (I'm rather fond of this second guy.)

The book frames the tension between our culture and the organization chartered with protecting it from the outside. Given the era in which it was written, the book examines many of the currently broiling controversies.

As someone very astutely noted in the Message Boards, you've got to understand and be able to debate the opposing point of view to truly "get" what the debate is really all about.

Yours with a capital "L".

Steve B

"Aristocratic draft-dodgers in 17th-century Spain"
The record indicates that few grandees who pleaded poverty to avoid service were left without substantial maintenance grants and emoluments and that the Crown gladly financed their luxurious military lifestyles.

"And I wouldn't be quite so smug about the politics north of the border. It seems you guys just recently repeated our mistake five years AFTER we gave you every reason to resist the Neocons..."

I found no smugness in Steve Evil's comments. At no point did he suggest that Canadians are above either the conflict in Iraq or the effects of that conflict on soldiers. In fact, Steve E. said that the capture of the alleged terrorists in Toronto will likely be used to argue for continuing the Canadian mission in Afghanistan--hardly an endorsment of the current political climate here.

I do, however, find your comment patronizing, Steve. It is wrong to suppose that the electorate in Canada would necessarily take its cue from what it observes in the US. Conservatism has long and tangled roots here, and while US affairs often have a profound effect on Canadian politics ... well, it ain't all about what happens south of the border.

D.

>Yours in opposing the war and Dubya's ideology, but in full effing support of the men and women in harm's way.<

I don't support this war, or the troops who engage in it. Supporting them implies I approve of what they are doing. I very much do not, and I don't care who ordered them. I was never much a believer in the "taking orders is my job" line anyway. War is a moral choice, made by individuals. To claim otherwise renders individuality moot.

I sympathize with the troops, and would like to see them brought home. But I will never say I "support" them, not in this venture.

Steve Barber writes:

"This soldier made what must be considered a serious and permanent sacrifice doing what he could in the perception that he was defending our nation. I will not and cannot permit his sacrifice, no matter how misguided and horrifying the political purpose which required it may be, to be dismissed so handily. It means a great deal to me that there are those men and women willing to put themselves in harm's way to do what they can to protect America (and many other nations). It's HIS perception of what he was doing there that makes the sacrifice significant, not MY perception of the rightness of the war the president elected to throw our military at."

This is a nice sentiment, but it's one of those things one can nitpick about. But let's see if we can extract some kind of sentiment out of this discussion.

First of all, we live in societies that are not perfect, everybody-participates democracies. Whatever the reasons, we tend to have power concentrated among a relative few. Sometimes the power is granted (elections) or taken (having wealth), but that's the case. So most of the policy decisions of our societies tend to be made by these elites.

And frequently, those policy decisions are going to involve going to war in some way or another. Suddenly, the elites have decided upon a course of action that requires conscripting a lot of citizens to take up weapons and inflict horrific destruction upon another country. It might be _needed_ once in a while. No need to add the bit about "good" or "bad" reasons; no one can ever completely agree on those anyway.

We, as citizens, may be able to protest, or avoid being conscripted. Or, we might agree to be conscripted for whatever reasons-- agreement with the elites, ideas of public service and patriotism, feeling guilty over enjoying the security the elites have offered us in the past.

So, we can have wars for rotten reasons. We can have wars for ostensibly decent reasons, but our elites may exploit the war for personal or economic gain. We can have wars because elites haven't thought of less destructive means to achieve certain ends. We can have wars because elites have crazy, deluded, or hateful reasons for waging them. And we have citizens allowing themselves to be used for warfare for reasons of their own.

So exactly why do we have to _honor_ the ones who serve? We usually don't know _why_ an individual really went off to war. They might've joined for what they think are noble reasons-- and once placed under fire, they snap, and they perform horrific atrocities. They might've joined for the _chance_ to perform horrible atrocites. They might've gone off to war with the best of intentions and desire to Serve... only to find that their ideals have enabled the elites to mislead them.

In other words, honoring soldiers is a nice sentiment... but for it to really mean anything, we'd have to evaluate each and every soldier and decide whether he should be "honored" or not. I'm sure that Lt. William Calley gets a salute or two from deluded maniacs on Veterans' Day who think he got a raw deal.

So why do we honor them _en masse_? First of all, because we feel _bad_ about them. They risked their lives under the orders of their country's leaders and, for better or for worse, our world is a result. In a sense, there's a vague spiritual debt. Second, it's a good way of encouraging more people to be willing soldiers, too: our elites may need our help, and it's best that they didn't let us know how easily human lives are squandered on their follies. Third, it's kind of like a religion: if you raise doubts about honoring soldiers, you're like to have someone beat the crap out of you.

But if we were to be really cold, and say that these were people who let their lives be thrown away by our leaders... well, we'd be one step away from _laughing_ at their stupidity. But it'd raise a lot of questions, wouldn't it? It'd mean that even without wars, we're pretty worthless to the people who really _matter_ in our society. It'd mean that, even if we were to make some great sacrifice for the Greater Good... it may not be for the real Greater Good, it may not help at _all_, and it may not even be noticed by anyone... least of all our leaders, or the generations that file past the memorials without reading the bodiless names.

So _generally_ speaking, societies need to have people they can use on the occasions when wars occur. And it seems only decent that the people whose lives are used in this manner ought to be commemorated or rewarded in some way. Plaques are nice, but health care, VA benefits, special financial and banking considerations are even _more_ important... and those, I think, are _owed_ to veterans by our elites.

But frankly, I'd avoid military service as much as I can. It's not because I'm a moral objector, or even that I'm a "coward." It's because my life is more important to me than it is to _them_. Let them find _other_ soldiers-- Lord knows there's never a shortage of _other_ people willing to do it. I've wasted more than enough of my life making money for employers and other elites. Get someone else. I won't go. I won't give vets any shit about _their_ going; it's their right, and I don't think _my_ respect or honor'd means a lot to them anyway.

What if everyone felt this way? Well, then I'd be a damn fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?

[BITTER RANCOUR]

Don't worry, even if the terrorists actually are planning a hit on Toronto the Gawdaful, they can't blow up the subway, because it won't be open.

[/BITTER RANCOUR]

(Doctor, dentist, baker, candlestickmaker - I should switch all my essential services to the city I actually live in, never mind the fact that I'm ten minutes from a subway station, and half-an-hour from downtown. Doesn't do me a damn bit of good when those lazy f^#$# at the TTC want to go through the summer on four-day workweeks.)

Steve Evil

" "He lost his arms in service on behalf of all of us."

I didn't ask him to go into harms's way. In fact, I most emphatically asked him to stay home. This is a debt I did not willingly enter into. I most certainly don't feel any safer."

Steve, I cannot in good conscience allow you to go uncontested in this comment. I am a proud Liberal (capital L), who unequivocably opposes "Dubya's War", and was critical of our American president and his actions (and the actions of his Neocon stormtroopers) even during the dark days of September 11th when it was fashionable to label me a "traitor" in many circles.

Still I fly the American flag on all holidays, and I freely employ the Constitutional right to speak out when I believe the government to be wrong.

This soldier made what must be considered a serious and permanent sacrifice doing what he could in the perception that he was defending our nation. I will not and cannot permit his sacrifice, no matter how misguided and horrifying the political purpose which required it may be, to be dismissed so handily. It means a great deal to me that there are those men and women willing to put themselves in harm's way to do what they can to protect America (and many other nations). It's HIS perception of what he was doing there that makes the sacrifice significant, not MY perception of the rightness of the war the president elected to throw our military at.

Don't ever mistake the blood spilt by the individual soldiers as anything less than heroic, if they do it in the mindset of this young man. That's a commitment I fear I could not match, and moreso's the pity that tiny politicians and associated pundits consider his life to be that trivial in the grand scheme of their personal ideological combat.

THAT is the repugnant part of his sacrifice.


And I wouldn't be quite so smug about the politics north of the border. It seems you guys just recently repeated our mistake five years AFTER we gave you every reason to resist the Neocons...

Yours in opposing the war and Dubya's ideology, but in full effing support of the men and women in harm's way.

Steve Barber

Godless Communists of the Evil Empire
I'm not so sure Edward Yashinsky, the Yiddish poet who survived the Holocaust only to die in a Communist prison, was all that grateful.

Rick:

Amonuim nitrate, when mixed with fuel can produce an explosive. With one ton of the stuff, McVeigh destroed the Federal Building in Oklahoma. These guys had three tons. They could have been planning a very large garden, but it would have to be an incredibly big gargen.


That said, the Canadian Security Intelligence Service (CSIS) is notoriously incompetent and has a habit of arresting Muslim men for fun. The media are now taking their word that a bombing was planned, though they won't say where, other than it wasn't in the subway. I don't think they're going to let on either. We're just going to have to take their word that 17 Second Generation Canadians wanted to level the City of Toronto.

Of course this will be used as an excuse to extend the mission in Afghanistan, even though none of the suspects came from Afghanistan.

Meanwhile, I know it's late in the game, but it must be said:

"He lost his arms in service on behalf of all of us."

I didn't ask him to go into harms's way. In fact, I most emphatically asked him to stay home. This is a debt I did not willingly enter into. I most certainly don't feel any safer.

(and before anyone tells this foreigner to butt out, it must be pointed out that the neo cons like to take credit for protecting and saving the entire western world. Besides which I'm sure there are many U.S. activists who feel the same way, sick and tired of having to be gratefull for all this slaughter. I am sure Cindy Sheenan did not appreciate such a gift).

As for the tired WWII refrain:
"If we didn't have boys like this who think about the role and not about the potential consequences, we could not have put an end to Hitler's regime"

It was a different war, at a different time, fought by different people, mostly conscripts. The war might not have happened if Hitler had not such an abundance of boys who didn't think about the consequences of their actions. Let us also not forget that it was the Godless Communists of the Evil Empire who did more than anyone to put an end to Hitler's Regime. Hitler's regime was finished long before Normandy.

It had to be said.

Unphazed, unafraid,

-Steve E.

Myspace page proposal
I have no idea why some of what I wrote got truncated OR why my zip ended up as a header. The rest of my message - which was in the middle - had to do with moderation and content.

I'd be happy to run/moderate it. Or perhaps in tandem with one other so that Myspace friend approval and emergency content edits - which really shouldn't be a problem because of the way Myspace works - could happen quickly.

There are Myspace features to run photos, you could set up Harlan "sound-bites", fiction and non-fiction excerpts could be run in the blogspace, you can "push" events and news to subscribers. Heck, you could even resurrect the old Galaxy on-line video clips, etc.

That's most of what was in the middle of that last post.

Sorry.

- B

18102
*** Susan *** I think Harlan ought to have a Myspace page.

No, really. Not to pull anything away from here but to steer people here - and to the bookselling side of things. The template isn't "perfect" but I think it could be a very Harlan friendly / Harlan "hands free" way to promote some of Harlan's stuff.

Because of the "owner" edit features and ability to say NO to certain kinds of friends and content it really is not as much of an info dumpster as I first imagined it to be.

At first I thought the notion of a Harlan Myspace page was absurd, but after a couple of weeks playing around with it and linking to a few of the "celeb" pages [Mel Brooks, Bill Murray, Johnny Depp] and "causes" pages [End the War, Save Roe v. Wade, etc.] I think it could be a tool used nominally for good. Or, at least not pure evil. It's not a perfect soapbox but looking at Dane Cook's MILLION+ friends, it sure can be a mighty freekin' tall one.

Of course pressure to be in your top 8 will be fierce.

Just a thought.

- Barney

After leaving Cleveland radio Jack said
"My career got started in TV stations in Seattle, Memphis, San Francisco and Boston. At the end, I was director of advertising and promotion for WBZ-TV, the Westinghouse station in Boston. Then I started a PR firm which grew to 50 plus people and my partner and I sold it to a multi national MS&L in 1999. So now I'm semi retired but still teaching as an adjunct at two universities in Boston. I am also an actor with the high points being two documentaries on the Discovery Channel."

In response to Tony Ravenscroft's dream...

The mystery of the Wandering Jew is solved!

He was looking for the chicken salad!

Many years later, when I was sketching in Rome, a grim-looking Englishwoman came up to me and said with some asperity, "I see you are painting MY view."

Spent a restless night, fighting pointlessly amusing dream-images. The apparent high-point was when I was at some dreary little s/f con, chatting aimlessly with fellow heel-coolers, when Harlan Ellison walked up & asked each of us in turn if we knew where the chicken salad is. He spent extra time on me, apparently guessing that I was pulling a fast one on me, & asked the question a few different ways. He finally decided that I was indeed clueless & not under some clever guise, then sighed & walked dejectedly off.

I sincerely hope that this was not some psychic reflection of reality -- I'd hate to think of ANYONE's shade wandering the Earth in search of a nosh.

No, I do not, beyond medium-roast Fair Trade coffee & extra-hoppy India Pale Ale, do drugs, though I'm open to recommendations.

On the up-side, I opened a long-misplaced box & found a bunch of "stuff I want to read when I can relax" books, including an Alfred Hitchcock omnibus with tales by deFrord, Sesar, Matheson, Sayers, & (!!) Kersh, plus a somewhat floppy "Impact-20" (William Nolan shorts, for you heathens). I now have suitable carrots to finish editing the book that was due last week...

good girls come in threes

Unca Harlan:

CHELSEA is the one with the ponce-y name, the one for whom you signed TROUBLEMAKERS Saturday p.m., immediately after Howard sang. The HUGE Ray Bradbury fan.

CHLOE is "ME". And you had her going for all of 3 minutes. That hardly ever happens, as you may have already guessed. Little girl needs to be kept on her toes.

COURTNEY is away at college fulltime.

All three are raving beauties and smart like whipses. Dunno what I did right. But, you're right, I did it.



Thanks bruh.

--------------------------------

Now, I'm reading about the 3 tons(!) of ammonium nitrate seized near Toronto, and since I don't know beans about ammonium nitrate I was about to google the term and came to a screeching halt. Does my name immediately go on some spookfreak intelligence agency's "watch list", just because I am ignorant? Will i find myself, to my surprise, on a DO NOT FLY list? Do we need to worry about this shit in America? I guess so. Thoughts anyone?

ok,
Rick

RICK WYATT:

Do me (all of us) a small favor. Now that "Paleoconservative" has had his/her odious "moment in the sun" on our website, thereby relieving us of the brickbat CENSORSHIP, would you kindly delete this scumbag's wretched mouthings.

Thanks, kiddo.

Harlan

JOHN GREENAWALT:

Agnew I don't (didn't?) know ... but ask him if he remembers MY youth-idol, Doc Lemon.

Yr. pal, Harlan

On Paleoconservative and Other Creatures Beyond the Pale
ANDREW (and Steve, and any interested others): Yeah, he/she/it is more than likely revealing at least a bit of true feelings -- if not 100 percent of such. Week before last, I visited a man who I have always thought of as a nice guy, albeit conservative in his view of the world and our country's politics (yeah, he voted for Bush -- and _still_ defends Dubya and his administration, like so many conservatives who remain blind to the obvious). The guy runs a used bookstore so I visit the guy now and then, drop off boxes of books I'll never be able to read or hang onto, he gives me some cash -- not a heapload -- then sells the books for a profit. Everyone's happy.

Anyway, we got into one of our discussions about politics: After I said Bush & Co. were the vilest most corrupt administration in our lifetimes, he went into his spiel (which he truly believes) that Clinton (Travelgate, Whitewater, etc) and his administration (and Hilary) were dirty, and that Bush & Co. never lied about their reasons for going to war, that Bush never said anything which could pinpoint his being a religious fanatic (he chose to NOT interpret the "I answer to a higher father" remark of Dubya's as an obvious sign of a fundamentalist nutcase)... Then he said something which made me decide to never darken his doorstep again (tough for me cause his wife's cute -- that's a bit of levity): he said (after I argued about the bombing early in the "War" which killed lots of innocents, women and children included) that the people in Iraq deserve to be bombed, and went on -- in a calm voice! -- about how all Muslims were all really against Americans (even the two he'd recently spoken with, who TOLD HIM they didn't believe in the violence the insurgents or Taliban, or others were committing). This nice, congenial man, was abdicating genocide for all the inhabitants of Iraq. The next day, the report about Haditha (sp. may be wrong) hit the internet and papers. And the more I thought about it, the more I couldn't stand the idea of helping -- in any way (such as providing his business with revenue) -- this person and his monstrous views. (Almost as scary is the thought that his wife -- a lovely woman in the physical and emotional senses -- is actually in love with this man -- and that she might believe as he does).

And the whole point of my extra-long ramble is, yeah, there are people walking around out there -- most of them seemingly nice and kind -- with some scary stuff flowing through their noggins. And though I hate to beat a dead horse, and will no doubt call down someone's wrath, I've found that most (not ALL) of these types are either proponents of an organized religion (something quite separate from spirituality), and/or very conservative in their views of society and politics.
--DTS

Andrew,

That comment's a long way off from qualifying for "irony."

Steve

Paleoconservative?
Please tell me that Paleoconservative is being satirical. He/she/it cannot possibly post that and think that his/her/its opinion is going to be taken seriously!?!

More Carlson, Maybe
A bit of George Carlson's non-comics work is apparently on display in another coffee-table book, James Steele's _Queen Mary_. I say "apparently" because Our Host's essay on Carlson mentions that GC illustrated the souvenir booklet for the _Mary_'s maiden voyage, and a large number of illustrations from that booklet or a similar one are reproduced in various places throughout Steele's book. My eye and knowledge of the artist aren't good enough to say it's definitely Carlson, but I'm 75% sure. (I wouldn't be at all surprised if the book's already somewhere in the Ellison household, given that it's page after page of gorgeous Art Deco, so maybe HE knows.)

Cheers!
Don Hilliard

George Carlson sighting
I picked up a coffee-table book titled _Art out of Time_, which showcases interesting, innovative and oddball comics of the past century. The people collected are _really_ obscure: of the thirty or so artists showcased, I recognized only Gene Deitch and-- thanks to our host-- George Carlson, one of whose "Jingle Jangle Tales" is reprinted in full and in color.

It's a really wonderful collection, actually. Some are obvious knockoffs of McCay or Caniff. Others are just... well, unique. There's a strange story about "what happens at 8:30" that borrows a LOT from Will Eisner's _The Spirit_. There's a comic story called _Herbie_, about a massively overweight kid who, by sucking on magic lollipops, gains superpowers and fights the Loch Ness Monster (and I have a very vague memory of having read this comic when I was a small kid). One strip has a superhero called _Stardust_, who's drawn with the _weirdest_ proportions I've seen, and the story reads like Harry Stephen Keeler's mystery novels.

Guy named Dan Nadel put this together. Worth the money.

To Harlan
Do you remember the "Jumping Jack Agnew Show" in Cleveland, Ohio, 1950s. "Jumping Jack" is a friend of mine and a legend in broadcasting.

SHANE, baby:

I just yelled your post over my shoulder. Susan yelled back, "Yes, got it; deposited; tell Shane thank you."

And next time, IIIIIIIIIIII pick the restaurant! Moleeeeeee w/ mango or whatever the fuck that crap that tasted like feet had in it...geezus, save me from Cuisine Minceur, Shellenbarger! Or its sunburnt Southwestern ponce-y relation, avec mango this an' crocodilia that.

Love from us both, Yr. pal, Harlan

RICK KENNEY:

That was one nice letter. Thank you. Say hello to the THREE girls for me. How come three? Because Chloe and Me make two, and you know who makes three.

Thanks again. You're a nice man.

Harlan

Susan: Have you received the UPS receipt and check?
I haven't received a report from my bank showing you've cashed the check as of yet. Just want to be sure everything is okay.

Expect a package in the next week.

Best,
Shane

James Boyer,

Think of this place as the online equivalent to the Ministry of Silly Walks. You SHOULD find a slow, steady leak in your sanity from this time on. Welcome to the pack.

You've good taste. Harlan's an ace at imagery.

This is my first post here, so I absolutely must express my complete gratitude and appreciation I have for Harlan's work. Ellison is by far my favorite author and I can only aspire to be able to expose myself (legally, of course) as completely as he does through his writing. I've tried, I'm not that strong. I love many writers, but Harlan has the unique ability of capturing everthing I love from those writers and blending them into a mind-altering uber-amalgam. I'm sure this has all been said ad nauseum, probably so much so that the sincerity of these comments may appear diminished.
OK, I think I am done (for now) with stroking Harlan's hubris(like an irresistible persian kitty).

Onto topic #2 (referring not at all to the act of moving one's bowels): Mr. Clifford Lawrence Meth.

Like I said, Ellison is my #1 absolutely favorite author of all time. It's probably no surprise that my absolutely second favorite author of all time is Clifford Meth. He is the only one who has been able to have an effect on me in a way that even approaches an Ellison effect. Most of you out there may be familiar with Meth and in fact, it was only through Ellison that I came to be familiar with Meth myself (I absolutely had to have Strange and Stranger Kaddish because of Ellison's contributions and when he did the afterword for Meth's God's 15 Minutes, I anxiously checked the mailbox every day until it arrived).
So, when Meth found me on the oh-so-trendy MySpace.com, I was immediately excited and willing to help with anything he needed. To get his name and writings out to a wider audience, I started a Clifford Meth Group on MySpace. Under the supervision of Meth hisownself (sorry, I had to put that in), we are going to try and use this group as a tool to get Meth into the hands and hearts of many more people, people who may not have the honor of being a devoted Ellison fiend.

If anyone wants to check out the group, join the group, or simply refer anyone to it, the URL is:

http://groups.myspace.com/cliffordmethgroup

And, Clifford's own profile can be found at:

http://www.myspace.com/cliffordmeth

We are also planning on having some cool things (like interviews, contests, etc) once things get rolling a little more.

Harlan, a simple "Thank You" would be light-years away from what you deserve. You are far more than a writer and your impact is greater than anyone could possibly imagine.

Harlan and Susan, the package for my Dad arrived today and he actually called to thank me (he never calls me, especially when I am at work). Thanks to you both for making his day and mine.

Steve, that is an interesting article and I am glad you shared it. The reporter makes some very valid points, especially how comics have gotten much darker of late and have moved away from the heroic ideal.

The recent event in the DC Universe, Infinite Crisis, was reaction to that darkness. Several key characters, including Batman, Superman, and Wonder Woman, were going to take a year off to try and rediscover themselves and they ideals they once exemplified.

What is Marvel doing? It seems like they are heightening the shades of grey between heroes and villains in their current mega-event Civil War. However, their story lines, especially in regard to the X-Men have been so confusing lately that I am considering staying away from Marvel titles almost exclusively. The exception being Neil Gaiman's The Eternals, only because it is Neil.

I will start a thread over in the Pop Culture board to continue the state of comics discussion if anyone is interested

I do not question the sacrifice this particular soldier made on behalf of the country, nor can I dismiss those additional sacrifices made by the hundreds of thousands of other warriors who are serving in "Dubya's War". The rank and file of the military does not choose their destination nor the cause they are told to fight for. They are, almost to a person, to be commended for the commitment they make in what they must at least be allowed to perceive as a righteous war, reality and politics notwithstanding.

I do not doubt this soldier feels violated by Mr. Moore. It would be a harsh reality indeed for him to accept that his loss of arms was for a cause he could no longer believe in -- what a harsh blow that would be.

A) Does this "connection" in the film entitle him to tens of millions of dollars in recompense? No.

B) Does this entitle his wife to ten million? No.

C) Will this result in damages or awards? Unlikely.

D) Is there a political purpose behind the action and timing? Possibly.

It's a very sad and regretable situation all around, and much the sadder since clearly there is an agenda of either financial or political gain at the rear of it all.

I agree with Rick, Harlan, Bud and the rest in that there is much more to the story than is currently on parade.
_______________________________________________

On a lighter and much more fun note: The BBC website has a great article about comics and characterizations entitled "Whatever happened to the superheroes of old?"

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/5041046.stm

About that McDonalds coffee...
Delurking for a moment to comment on one thing. It is becoming shorthand in discussions of frivolous lawsuits to mention "McDonalds" and "hot coffee" in the same sentence.

While I agree that there are many frivolous lawsuits in our ever more litigous country, this was a lawsuit which had merit.

There are many details, the most salient are below:

1. The 81 year old woman who filed the suit had never sued anyone before.

2. She suffered 3rd degree burns on her legs, thighs and buttocks, requiring skin grafts and a week long hospital stay.

3. For years, McDonalds knew they served their coffee 20 degrees hotter than other restaurants, and they refused to turn down the heat or post warnings about how hot the liquid was (more than 700 complaints about injury settled).

4. The woman said she wouldn't have sued, except the corporation denied her request for compensation for her medical bills.

5. The jury awarded punitive damages of $2.7 million dollars. They calculated the gross sales of TWO DAYS OF COFFEE SALES, and awarded her that.

Frivolous lawsuits abound. This was not one of them.

More details:

http://lawandhelp.com/q298-2.htm

and one from that noted lefty rag the wall street journal

http://www.vanosteen.com/mcdonalds-coffee-lawsuit.htm

Peace

Darryl

P.S. Cindy, you know I love you, but I have to disagree on the issue of this guy's lawsuit. (Insert Steven Dooner's fourth paragraph here, which is what I have said in discussions about this war several dozen times, though less eloquently succinct).

Trials
The main thing you guys are forgetting is that if this gets before a jury, all bets are off. There are two possibilities for this lawsuit:

(1) It gets thrown out by the judge before going to trial for being groundless (pretty likely: regardless of how you feel about the ethicality of Moore's actions, the lawsuit really is on incredibly shaky ground legally).
(2) It goes to trial before a typical jury. A crippled war veteran and patriot lays a sob story and complains about how he was tricked and mistreated.

You can talk all you want about the legal basis of this suit, but juries in civil cases are FAMOUS for handing down sympathy judgements, ESPECIALLY against parties perceived to have deep pockets. This is why hospitals and doctors both shit their pants over malpractice suits even when they are completely blameless. If this makes it to trial Moore better hold on to his ankles.

Cindy wrote:
"Awwww nooooo....Harlan!
He lost his arms in service on behalf of all of us."

Then let's give him a big _round of applause_!

Cindy,

I'm afraid this question has nothing to do with your patriotism or your support for this war. It has to do with montage and fair use of a public quotation that had been broadcast on the NBC Nightly News. You can hate everything Moore says in the movie, but this soldier is asking for $175 million because his image and quote were juxtaposed with those a congressman who was against the war. Moore said nothing about this soldier's views at all. The claim of the suit is that this cinematic juxtaposition "implied" that the soldier was against the war. Well, that's only one inference that could be made among many others, and so the claim is as thin as a claim could be.

The entire suit depends on how one interprets a set of images in montage for what they supposedly imply. If the court were ever to find for the claimant, we might as well start prosecuting thought crimes.

You seem to be focusing on the affective aspect of this story, feeling the soldier was exploited and that his voice was unheard. That may well be true. But it has nothing to do with the free speech that we must allow.

Yet, since you care deeply about our fighting men, does it bother you that this adminsistration sent our soldiers into battle with insufficient numbers and insufficient defenses, that they made our soldiers pay for their own battle armor, that they used battle vehicles for National Guard troops that were also improperly armored, that they put the National Guard into situations that they were not trained for, that they have made our soldiers pay for their own medical treatment and that they cut veterans benefits, including veterans disability pay?

I would be more outraged at this than what a film-maker may or may not have "implied."

Respectfully,

Steve

my opinion rarely matters, but
First, Harlan, Happy belated birthday. 72 is the number for Hafnium in the Periodic Table of Elements. Here are some of its properties: "Most zirconium minerals contain 1 to 3% hafnium. Hafnium is a ductile metal with a brilliant silver lustre. Of all the elements, zirconium and hafnium are two of the most difficult to separate. ... it is used for nuclear reactor control rods." So there's your Scientific Zodiac Reading for 72.

The Debate:
Michael Moore may be disappointing (Bowling for Columbine), or sensationalistic (Fahrenheit 911), but he's a good filmmaker. I enjoyed both movies (mentioned above), and not just because he's the only one firing back at the Republican Chocolate Factory with large-caliber projectiles. He engages viewers and makes them think. People seem to get bogged down in the fine details of both movies so much so that they can't experience the movies. I suppose, if you get nothing else out of Fahrenheit 911, the footage of the Shrub sitting there in a classroom reading a children's story for a photo-op AFTER he learned of the disaster is worth the price of admission. Shit, when my NETWORK goes down I boogie like Bruce Wayne to the pole: Bush sat there like a pussy and waited for someone else to tell him what to do.

Sadness:
Just found out Dr. Rodney William Whitaker died in December. I'm very upset about it. No more Trevanian. I mean, he wasn't B. Traven, but I liked him and his way with words.

Mark, got your e-mail: replying sometime today.

Rob Ewen, Crystal was wondering why her bikini was stretched out after that trip. I'm going to have to write up my memories of Minneapolis and Tempe soon before I forget them. But it was great seeing you again, and if I ever make it back to London I'm going to look you up, if only to return the bikini bottoms.

-Keith

TWISTIN' IN TH E WIND
CINDY: Who Loves ya, Darlin? I'm 100 percernt behind you regarding the punishment you say Mr. Moore's actions merit...as long as that applies to EVERY one of the suckers who "deliberately twist the statements of others to suit their purpose du jour." Which means President George Bush, Vice President Dick (and I DO mean "dick") Cheney, Good ol' "Rummy" and "Condi" and on and on and on throughout that vile, deceitful, self-serving administration that so many unthinking people put in charge of the country -- including their new, "Fox News"-grown mouthpiece who thinks it's clever to play word games with the press corps instead of giving straight answers to the American people -- the folks who elected his boss, and now pay his check. I say hang them all...er, out to dry...and let 'em twist in the wind.

Anybody else notice that the Administration now in charge has out-Nixoned Tricky Dick, out-Reaganed Ronnie Raygun, and, in a lot of ways, out-done the USSR during their final years as a world power?
--DTS (Cindy's lovin' fan in KC and the enemy of ALL Facist-style governments)

Despite my STRONG criticism of Shrub's invasion of Iraq, I'm no fan of FAHRENHEIT 9/11, a muddled and self-contradictory film. Still, I gotta agree with Harlan on this one: Damon will lose, big-time, if he goes to trial, ESPECIALLY if this is true: http://www.reason.com/hitandrun/2006/06/and_usually_the.shtml. Apparently, an armless soldier named Sgt. Peter Damon flanked Ted Kennedy when he made an anti-war speech in '04, which, if it's the same Damon who's suing Moore, kind of negates his claim of misrepresentation.

It'll be interesting to see how this develops.

Ummmm Frankie,
Free speech should be free but the line should be indelibly drawn against anyone who would deliberately twist the statements of others to suit their purpose du jour. What Michael Moore did-- if this is in fact true-- is beneath contempt and should be dragged out from under the stairs and into the noonday sun. The footage should be excised from the film and the soldier should receive not only an apology but a punitive settlement that is sizable enough to give Moore pause the next time he thinks about victimizing a disabled veteran or anyone else. The amount should also be large enough to draw the attention of the media and provide them with impetus to properly publicize Moore's unscrupulous and dishonest deed. If the Enquirer has been held culpable under similar instances then Moore shouldn't skate. He's no different-- tell the truth, don't twist it or skew it to suit your purposes or pony up.

Sorry, kitten-- continue.
;)
Cindy


Awwww nooooo....Harlan!
He lost his arms in service on behalf of all of us. If we didn't have boys like this who think about the role and not about the potential consequences, we could not have put an end to Hitler's regime. This soldier's actions, however brash, were noble and important. In my own humble opinion; I think the soldier would win if he takes the case before a jury. A judge might be something else entirely, but I think a jury could see a patriot whose life was forever diminished because of his loyal and self-less service on behalf of all of us. They'd also see in Moore, a man who discounted the feelings of a disabled veteran for the sake of his own propaganda. It's about truth in advertising and honor in reporting. If Moore needs to trash the truth in order to communicate his message then he should go into the Baptist ministry and leave entertainment to the professionals like Geraldo and Springer.

Still and always,
yer pal,
;)
Cindy

STEVE B:
Okay, given what you've said here, I have to agree with Harlan that the guy has no case. It would have been one thing to cut actual interview footage with him to misrepresent his opinion, but the juxtaposition of this footage (which, if quoted fully, does NOT include his political opinions regarding the war) with another interview doesn't misrepresent much of anything, at least not to any degree he can complain about - let alone sue over.

Having said that, I will freely admit that I cordially despise Moore as a propagandist who would love to be seen as a polemicist.

Mel Gibson's New "Historical" Film
Just saw the trailer for Mel Gibson's new film APOCALPYTO. The film is another of his "historical" epics (BRAVEHEART, The PATRIOT & The PASSION OF THE CHRIST). This one is about the fall of the Mayan culture & will use "real" Mayan dialogue, as he did with Aramaic in The PASSION.

It looks interesting, but my fear is that the Mayans in the film will be portrayed as "evil" or "satanists". I hope Mel will leave his own personal beliefs at home & just make a damn good film. (I will say that it's nice to see a film deal with something other than the standard Europeanism that dominates cinema).

What think ye?

If you're interested, the website address for the film is: www.apocalypto.com

Harlan
Cellphone all Effed up (yes, I get the irony). Cris and I will do our best.

Call you in the morn.

SB

THOUGHTS GUARANTEED TO PISS -OFF HALF OF YOU
STEVE BARBER:

I've now had one professional attempt to PhotoShop that snap. I'm not wild about the result. Care to take Attempt #2 before I go to the next profferer? If so, call me. You've got the number.

Now, to thrust my bare hands into the lava flow.

Having read what there is to consult, on the much-bruited lawsuit against Moore, having seen the film, having watched silently on the sideliness as Ray Bradbury voiced HIS concerns, it is my VERY VERY VERY humble opinion that:

1) Sorry the dude lost his limb(s), but what the hell did he expect as a terrible possibility if he went off to a war? Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches? He accepted the flag-waving and heroic best wishes when he went marching off; now he has to spend the rest of a crippled life bearing the responsibility for his own actions. And 2) He has no case. He will lose if it goes to trial, and Moore shouldn't volunteer one cent to placate him.

His assertions are illiterate, opportunistic, bogus and well, pure horseshit. 3) Let's take him for some hot hot hot coffee at McDonald's, and drop a horsefly from the horseshit in his salad, while we're at it. Or maybe a severed digit.

This is what we--who are cold, cruel, amoral and hardnosed-- call "the long con."

Yr. pal, Harlan

"I don't remember that scene, but if the soldier wins, imagine how this could chill free speech. Anybody who is offended by some footage in a movie could sue, for any reason."

Um, huh?

First off, it's a common misconception that the First Amendment protects all speech from all things. It doesn't. It protects it *from the government*. It says "Congress shall not...", not "Everyone has to...".

And there is a considerable difference between being misrepresented and being offended. To pull out the obligatory Spider-Man quote, with great power comes great responsibility. Someone whose work will, with foreknowledge, be seen by large numbers of people has considerable power with regards to how someone will be perceived and how their reputation will be affected by how they are portrayed. They have the responsibility to correctly portray them. Commentary about such is fine, but misrepresenting someone and their actions is not.

If you're on active duty in a military hospital, it's not your call to give permission to any journalistic body - that's to be granted by the armed forces, of which every soldier is a representative. This would be like the Kennedy family suing Oliver Stone because they didn't like the way the Zaprudar film was used in JFK - even though no one would doubt their emotional distress. (Zaprudar sold the film to Time Life, later Time Warner, and the Stone film was a Warner release. In fact, I visited Kyle Baker on the Warner Studios lot when he was there as a producer: JFK had just been released, and actual still frames of the assassination decorated the Warner commissary!)

The other problem with this suit is that the soldier would have to show that Moore harbored some sort of personal malice toward him, without which there can be neither slander nor libel.

>What makes me skeptical is that it took so long for the soldier to figure out he had been misrepresented and to do something about it.<

Agreed. And the notion that the level of people's umbrage is directly proportionate to how much money might be gleaned from the redress.

As in had Fahrenheit 9/11 flopped, I doubt we'd have heard from this man.

%$#@. THIS excerpt!!!:
In Moore's film Damon is shown lying on a gurney, covered in bandages. He says he feels as if he's "being crushed in a vise," adding, "but [the painkillers] do a lot to help it. And they take a lot of the edge off of it."


The scene prior to Damon's features U.S. Rep. Jim McDermott (news, bio, voting record), a Democrat from Washington state, saying, "You know, [those in the Bush administration] say they're not leaving any veterans behind, but they're leaving all kinds of veterans behind."


In his lawsuit, Damon has argued that the juxtaposition of those two scenes made it sound as if the military and the Bush administration had left him to grapple alone with pain or possibly even a drug addiction when, in reality, he "agrees with and supports the president and the United States' war effort and was not left behind."




(Aside to Ron Lake: You mean Arthur C Clarke???)

From the excerpt below we still have a lot of open questions. I'd have to see the film, but it seems that the lawsuit is derived not from comments altered by Moore, but by the context created in the scene directly before the soldier's footage.

This is going to be very difficult to prove in court, and may (said in full Conspiracy Theorist mode) be part of a preemptive strike to avoid the film being used before the Fall elections.

From Yahoo News, reporter Natalie Finn:

>

http://news.yahoo.com/s/eo/20060601/en_celeb_eo/19163
______________________________________________

Like others I am thrilled with Harlan's announcement of a new DREAM CORRIDOR.
______________________________________________

And finally, my first released shots from the trip to New Orleans:

http://www.photosig.com/go/photos/view?id=1759557

http://www.photosig.com/go/photos/view?id=1759558

http://www.photosig.com/go/photos/view?id=1758385

The first two are of Bourbon Street after 10pm on a Saturday night. If you've ever been there you'll be startled with how empty it is, relatively speaking. The third shot is of an empty restaurant during lunch hour (that wasn't the specific intent of the picture, but we didn't have to ask anyone to move or keep out of the way in order to get it).

It's June 1st kids -- official start of hurricane season.

Thanks and how I was introduced to Harlan Ellison
First post... thank you so much, blah blah blah.

In 76 two of my High School friends came up to me very pissed. Thrusting a book out in front of them one said, "Give it to Ron, HE'LL like it." What did I know it was a book, we had all read Heinlein and Asimov and Bradbury, and That guy who's last name starts with C, but who now escapes me. We were all complete science fiction addicts but nobody had ever mentioned Harlan Ellison. Heck, we were all still virgins then, what did we know of nothin?

That book sat in the trunk of my volkswagen for two years. Eventually I cleaned the car and found Paingod and Other Delusions.

So thanks to the Science Fiction book club and my two friends ignorance, I've been enjoying HE for a long time.

truth or dare


> I feel for the soldier, but freedom comes first. If Moore
> decides to settle out of court, this could be tragic.
> No matter what you think of Moore's tactics this is important
> to understand. Freedom is supposed to be messy.


Not so messy as to allow one person to damage another's reputation by dishonesty, if that is indeed what happened.

Freedom of speech protects one's ability to say what one believes and supports in public, not the opposite. If Moore misrepresented the soldier's position, than that was a little like stealing from him. Evidently you've never been misquoted in the papers and had to live with the consequences.

What makes me skeptical is that it took so long for the soldier to figure out he had been misrepresented and to do something about it.

Of the unpredictable and constantly angry Paracelsus, for example, the stormy petrel who convulsed the staid medical establishment of the sixteenth century by demanding radical reforms in clinical thinking, he wrote: "This first great revolt against the slavish authority of the schools had little immediate effect, largely on account of the personal vagaries of the reformer--but it made men think."

Belated

I've been out, of my mind and other places this past week, so I haven't been reading this place.

Happy Birthday to you, Harlan, Mr. Ellison.
Many happy,
un-nappied,
returns.

FRANK:
No. The specific problem here is NOT that the plaintiff charges he was offended, but that Moore deliberately cut the sequence of the film to indicate that his opinions were other than what they really are.

And yeah, if this is the case, the guy has every right to be offended AND to take action, if only for slander. If I were offended, I could bitch about it, but am not entitled to legal action.

I finally read _Lolita_, and I posted a mini-essay over at my blog: http://rpk.livejournal.com/96098.html
Utterly amazing book.

Re that soldier who's suing Michael Moore. I don't know the particulars, but I have no respect for Michael Moore anymore. I _used_ to: I wrote a good review of his book "Downsize This!" for the _Inquirer_. But _Farenheit 911_ was a severely dishonest film, avoiding real _politics_ to pander to conspiracy fans and radical poseurs.

So Barney's got a Blog. I'm not exactly certain what blogs are supposed to be. They're a neat way for all of us Must-Write-Or-Go-Mad types to broadcast out thoughts, and maybe find an appreciative audience. But it's easy to get drowned out, and depending on the system, they don't lend themselves to extended conversations or even entertaining arguments. (Sometimes, this can interfere with their social function, but that'd take too long to explain.) The "news" blogs tend to be ideological echo chambers, and while there's a clinical interest in seeing how rumors get started, and which "witty" remarks occur to nearly everybody, they're only of use as pointers to substantial material.

Re Alex Krislov's comments on unfinished or incomplete works: Right on.

New horrors!
Hey gang,

Here is today's extraordinarily bad idea. ;-)

http://www.myspace.com/dannelke

http://blog.myspace.com/dannelke

- Barney

Granfaloon, PA.

p.s. - and thank you for the kind words Rob. YOU can be my friend. "Friend" should be heard as spoken by Karloff in The Bride of Frankenstein. ;-)

Middlesex Rob


glad you made it home alive.

da daughters say, Hey!

email me, wouldya?

Rick

Frank -
Gotta disagree with your interpretation. If I'm at an anti-war rally and it's run on the evening news as a pro-war rally then I've got a legit grievance. I haven't seen the film, but if this person is portrayed as anti-war and this is contrary to what was actually occurring then he's got every right to set the record straight and register the objection.

Disclaimer: The above assessment is reached by someone who is very much against "Dubya's War".

SB

(And RATS! Harlan obviously saw through my nefarious intent to Photoshop his image into various historical events a-la "Forrest Gump". You shoulda seen the image of Harlan crossing the Delaware I'd already constructed in my mind...)

Michael Moore is being sued by a soldier who lost both legs in the Iraqi war. He says that Moore used footage of his in Fahrenheit 9/11 that made the soldier look like he was against the war, when he was actually supporing the war. I don't remember that scene, but if the soldier wins, imagine how this could chill free speech. Anybody who is offended by some footage in a movie could sue, for any reason.

I feel for the soldier, but freedom comes first. If Moore decides to settle out of court, this could be tragic.

No matter what you think of Moore's tactics this is important to understand. Freedom is supposed to be messy.

Minicon 41
Hello - it's me, the Sick Rob of the East. Wow.....I decide to catch up with the Webderland after nearly two months away from it, and discover there are all these people concerned for my health. I'm deeply touched. Thank you, from the heart of my bottom!

I realise that Harlan is now 72; I'm now 44; the Nebulas have come and gone; and MiniCon is a dim and distant memory. However, I wanted to drag everyone's thoughts back in time to that amazing weekend in Minneapolis just once more (despite Kristin' s wish to have swapped Minnesota for Arizona!).

I cannot hope to match Mr Dannelke's superlative account of the events at Tempe, so I won't even try. I will, however, just jot down a few comments at random concerning the occurrences and people that have stuck in my brain since Easter.....

First, the Webderlanders:

THE OLD....

FinderDoug (congrats on selling that story, old son!)
Kosmo Cramer & girlfriend (sorry Keith - didn't get to chat with your missus v. much - but I did get to share a lift with her in a swimsuit - it was a tight fit for both of us, but still.....)

...AND THE NEW

Amy & Ben - thanks for the ibuprofen!
Kristin and the Bear
Roger and his mum
Mark (never did get to Hell's Kitchen, more's the pity - Mr Kramer did, and saw
Al Franken in there)
Scott (still can't discuss GALACTICA, I'm afraid...but at least Season 2 of
LOST has now started up over here)
Rick and da daughters

There was also Annie the nurse, who provided me with a killer massage, and librarian supremo Jody Wurl, who gave some of us a guided tour of the delights of downtown Minneapolis. Not forgetting John Pistachio and Tracy - a delightful couple. Thanks to one and all!

I should also like to thank Susan E. for being so contagious , and Harlan E. for introducing me to the delights of:

a) Mallomars (didn't realise these were an endangered species, Harlan, but I can see why - heaven on earth!)

b) White Castle 'sliders' - hmmm........

It was emotional.

regards
Rob

(Don't know when I'll be going stateside again - my next venture will hopefully be to Worldcon in Japan next year.....see you all before too long, hopefully....)

(I also got to meet George Takei in Madison the following week - a very charming man - so an additional bonus on top of everything else).

Belated Birthday Wishes

Happy Birthday, Harlan! Though I may occasionally dissuade you from sucker-punching certain Unnamed Authors, you have my fullest blessing to get in the ring with Life and Art, and pummel those bad bitches till the lymph comes out of their eyes. Long may you rage, man.

Thanks
Harlan and Susan,

Your timing is impeccable. I will be going back to Philly to see my family next week, so it will be great to see his reaction soon after receiving the gift.

Thank you so much,

Mark

Phoenix Without Ashes
I know that hearing about "The Starlost" doesn't prevoke fond memories for Harlan Ellison. I'm curious though, given that interest in his concept seems to still exist to this day, why there have been no additional books or writings. Do the individuals who managed to uterly destroy his concept still have legal ties that bind?

Bill

Mark:

The copy of CITY OF THE EDGE OF FOREVER that you ordered has been mailed to your Dad.

Thank you.

Susan

Happy Birthday Unca Harlan!

Harlan,

I have a recommendation for you. If you plan on getting that photo framed, I recommend UV protective glass. :) I don't have a specific recommendation for a type of paper best fit for maximum preservation, though. Maybe someone else can chime in on that?

Oh, I must also thank you (again) for that reply a while back about the effect of science fiction on society. I think my original reply got lost the milieu... Anyway, that was mighty swell of you to take that time and reply! :)

-Erika.

NEW DREAM CORRIDOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOT-DIGGETY-DOUBLE DAMN!!!!!!!!!! Only thing better than new Ellison fiction is new Ellison comic splendor. With a Bolland cover. Time to start bugging the fine folks at the local funny book depot as we speak. Speaking o' funny books, any news on the Dr. Fate project that was kicked around pre-big events?

THAT FADED FOTO

Got it. Thanks to each and all. Josh called this morning to add his mother's Photo Shop skills to the possibilities y'all offered. I think I'm good now, so you can go back to discussing the IMPORTANT STUFF.

Oh, incidentally, the final, spectacular issue of

HARLAN ELLISON'S DREAM CORRIDOR

will be published by Dark Horse on November 23rd. I okayed the promo copy to appear in the Diamond catalogue (as brilliantly written by my beloved editor, Diana Schutz) yesterday. The Brian Bolland cover is to die for.

Yr. pal, Harlan

Harlan
When I read your post about being a CFS sufferer I wanted to offer my sympathy. I am one, too, and it's a horrible thing made doubly so by the fact that externally you look so much better than you actually feel. Non-afflicted people just don't get it.

Mine is abating somewhat (except in times of stress) and I hope yours improves or continues do to so.

Together in Farthood
Harlan, I shouldn't need reminding, every year, that your birthday is only a week or so after mine. I blame the onset of dementia. And Happy birthday.

One Final Birthday Note With Pugs
The other day, my wife was letting me know that I couldn't be mean to our two pugs (Nova and Peewee) because it was their birthday. Three years old. Of course, I'm never mean to our two pugs except for when I squirt Peewee with water when he gets a bit rambunctious, but that's a different story altogether.

So, guess what famous Grandmaster that share their birthday with?

Didja get is in one? Yup, I don't recall doing so, but it looks like a few years ago I searched high and low in the Valley of the Sun until I could find the one pug breeder whose champion puppy machine had spit out two pugs on the same day as our illustrious host was celebrating another one of those dozens of birthdays.

Just as I celebrate my birthday with Elvis Presley, Soupy Sales and Larry Storch, my pugs get to celebrate theirs with Harlan.

-TODD

HARLAN:
A belated Hombly Borgeek. I pinch your claw in bonhomme.

Harlan's Restoration Period
HARLAN: Karl Kofoed, an sf illustrator of some reknown (He did the "Galactic Geographic 3003" magazine/coffee table book), is also a professional photo restorer. You can see some of his latter work at http://users.rcn.com/kkofoed/photosamples/photo.html --I've seen some of his restorations in the up-close, and they're quite good (Brian can attest to this).

His telephone number appears on the web page I cited above.

Of things 72
Harlan,
Allow me to add one more to the wishes of a happy day and congratulations on completing another year maintaining the standards of ethics and productivity to which you so relentlessly hold yourself and from which so many of us benefit.
I thought a little about the number 72 and:

Seventy Two
It may interest you
Is Two to the Three
Times Three to the Two

OK, so Martin Gardner I'm not, but I wish the best to you and Susan and enjoyed seeing and talking to you both in Tempe. It's getting late so I will post later on what to do with this plate and other Nebula memories.

ramble on

I had such a flashback today.

I have been reading science fiction in general since I was 13 and I first spotted that wicked-ass cover of van Vogt's WAR OF THE RULL-- you know, the one with the dude poised astride the behemoth with spear raised--as I sat there rifling through a lot of other crap on the book spinner in the 7-11 store. I read the first few pages of that one and I thought, This shore ain't THE PHANTOM FUCKING TOLLBOOTH, no way!

That's the same way I discovered Harlan. But I discovered others too. Strange names called out from strange looking books. And those other voices have been allowed to run rampant before my eyes; a few resonate to this day.

Ray Bradbury, Ted Sturgeon, Kate Wilhelm, Chip Delany; all friends I never met.

Today I picked up an oldie that for some reason I have yet to read. And reading it I remembered one of the strongest, most self-assured voices I know. One of the guys who I came to trust implicitly. One of the WRITERS to whom I entrusted my imagination.

Roger Zelazny never let me down. And today MY NAME IS LEGION forced me to remember how that all worked. Dude walked like an avenging angel through the pages of every book or story that carried his brand. Telling stories with a bullhorn in one hand and the other hand fisted. Hot boots leaving scorch marks on the bindings. Roughshod; like that.

"Would you mind terribly if I dropped by again sometime?" he says at one point in "'Kjwalll'kje'k'koothailll'kje'k."

No, Roger. I don't mind. You just keep on coming back, old champion.

ok,
Rick

Harlan

I think this is something we can do, if you don't have anyone earmarked. Both Cris and I use Photoshop extensively.

I'll call tomorrow.


Steve B

Photoshop Magic
If you can have the photo scanned, Harlan, I can take a crack at restoring it using the software suite I have here. I presume it is sun faded, the red are gone and the whites are amber and the amber's gone brown.

Let me know if you want me to have a look. By way of resume, I once actually extracted a photo of Bern Xanadu and his wife from the shadows of my wedding. THAT was like picking out the alien on the grassy knoll.

On Photo Restoration
"d) What IS that technology; who performs use of same as magic, the way it's done on crime shows on tv; and how do I locate said wizards? Names if you know 'em. Phone numbers if you got 'em. Or, at least, name of technology so I can go look where most efficient."

For a snapshot, the picture is scanned to create a high quality digital image; the image is then manipulated by any one of a number of software packages - Adobe Photoshop, Paint Shop Pro, PhotoImpact - the package used will vary from store to store. Many camera stores, from the chains down to the smaller independents, offer photo restoration services.

I have no typical 'guy' who I've used for such services. My recommendation is that you don't want to deal with a long-distance merchant that will require you to mail them the original photo (some do), because you run a higher risk of losing it the more hands it passes through. To that end, if it was me, I'd start by talking to two stores in Sherman Oaks who offer such services, see if they do their own restoration in-house or if they send it off-site, and gauge your own comfort level based on their responses to your questions:

Hooper Camera - 14622 Ventura Blvd - 818 784-9020
Ritz Camera - 14006 Riverside Drive #86 - 818 986-6050  

I'd also call American Photo Restoration (est. 1977), located in Hollywood - 1680 North Vine Street, Suite 1211, 1-877-263-9563. While their web site says photos should be scanned and e-mailed or posted, because you're local you may have luck with a drop off/pick up, or may simply be more comfortable mailing locally as opposed to cross-country.

Happy hunting!

Why even bother?
Harlan, I can understand your concern at the wording--but there's no point in anyone pointing it out to Priest. Anybody who thinks you're lazy is so eaten up with his own obsessions as to ignore the obvious evidence. You've written, what? 76 books now? 77? Something like that. Priest has written about 15. I don't weigh quality by the pound, but if we must consider how much work a writer's produced, you're not just in the big leagues, but the heavy hitters box.

A long, long time ago, you made a remark about some people thinking Bob Silverberg was supposed to be "a story factory" because he worked so steadily. You mocked the notion. You were right. Prolific as he was at the time (producing "The Man in the Maze," "Son of Man," "Thorns" and heaven knows how many more of his finest works in a very brief span), even he couldn't make _every_ story come out whole. Some stories, some projects, don't come together. That's life. I expect that's part of what the F&SF piece will be about.

Only twits burning with seething green envy sit there whining about what you _haven't_ done. And only willfully cruel people mock the weakness that comes with illness. I ran into a few of those when I was fighting cancer (and, for all intents and purpose, sleeping through nearly two years of my life).

The whole issue is bull. You know that.

Ah, well. Belated birthday wishes, oh Grandmaster. Hey, I never realized how close your birthday was to Miles Davis' until this year. Seems appropriate, that closeness.

Flying Blue Monkey report
a few places offer the service you seek:
http://dejaviewphotos.com/ [sorry, no phone number or address]
http://www.digitalrestoring.com/ [10 Alpha Place, Lincoln Park, NJ 07035]
http://www.a2zphotorestoration.com/ [678-849-4444]
http://www.phototouch.biz/ [530-873-1717]


there are hundreds more out there, none show anything better than any of the others on the surface. I have never used any of them, but they do turn up clean with the BBB.

And belated happy birthday.

Stephen

HARLAN SEEKS ASSISTANCE + 2 OTHER MATTERS

I need anyWebderlander and/or Flying Blue Monkey to steer me to the artisan I need. I'll ask the question simply, in hopes it will stanch the flow of what-ifs, how-comes, and other nth-degree maddening diversionary remarks you clowns back your Peterbilts up to me and dump onto my loading dock.

Here it is: ITEM THE FIRST

a) I have a framed snapshot taken with an everyday camera--not a digital or high-end instrument--and in that photograph I am shaking hands with Carl Barks, the Duck-Man hisownself. 1993, for the curious.

b) The sun has faded it.

c) I know the technology exists to bring back the color and make it crisp and sharp and restore the skin-tone to the two now-vampire-white subjects shaking hands in the shot.

d) What IS that technology; who performs use of same as magic, the way it's done on crime shows on tv; and how do I locate said wizards? Names if you know 'em. Phone numbers if you got 'em. Or, at least, name of technology so I can go look where most efficient.

ITEM THE SECOND

Todd Cassel: I called Gordon Van Gelder at F&SF and gently told him I was unhappy with that phraseology. It wasn't that I was "unable" to finish the story, as much as it was that I'd had the basic idea for years, had never been able to figure out an ending as clever as the beginning, and thought it would be a lark to write a brief essay (which I did) in which I pointed out that an "idea" is not a "story," and that a lot of neat-o ideas never go any further ... and wouldn't it be a lark to toss that great idea out to three disparate writers; and see what THEY could spark with it. So I did, they did, and the "endeavor" will be published in F&SF in a month or so.

But...

For a man who has been mercilessly hounded and defamed for decades because he couldn't "finish" THE LAST DANGEROUS VISIONS -- and isn't it interesting to note that recent studies of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, with which I've suffered for thirty-plus years, now show it IS REAL and probably genetic -- and it struck me in 1973 as I was well into TLDV -- and would someone mention that to Christopher Priest, who has never missed an opportunity to ridicule my "imagined illness" as yet another reason to pillory me for being "unable to complete" TLDV -- for such a man, Gordon's careless phraseology (with no malice intended, I'm certain), "unable to complete," is less than salutary.

ITEM THE THIRD

Shit hell damn! Forgot whatever it was that was third. I'll think of it eventually. But Items 1 and 2 ought to suffice for the nonce.

Yr. pal, Harlan

P and S: Thanks again for all the latest good wishes.

Thank you to those that emailed me or left comments on this board. Knowing that there are those that have gone thru similar situations and are willing to share of their experiences with me and send kind thoughts and prayers my way means a great deal to me. Life goes on, but somedays the load just gets to heavy to carry alone, and to have friends to share that load is incredible. Thanks again. Roger

Harlan Returns To Fantasy And Science Fiction ?
I just received the July issue of Fantasy and Science Fiction in the mail today. In the Coming Attractions, there is the following comment on the upcoming September issue.

Harlan, would you care to comment, or should we just sit tight and wait for all to be explained in two months:

"Looking ahead, we'll have an interesting experiment in the September issue: three writers try their hands at finishing the story that Harlan Ellison was unable to complete. Mr. Ellison was pleased by the results; we think you'll share his sentiment."


-TODD

Joseph Finn, glad to see you back in the fold. One hot muffin spawn to go with your java.

----------

Remember this name: Smedley Butler. Look it up and learn.

Much Love

Being a fan of HE for over 25 years ( ! ), I know well how he feels about gifts. Having said that, I'm sure he appreciates the kind words and birthday wishes we all have tossed his way lately.

But I want to take this opportunity to thank Harlan for a gift he gave to me....

Harlan, your writing has never failed to make me think and question the status quo. Often, it has involved lost sleep. Yes, more than once, anger may have guest starred.

To put a finer point on it: Thank you for entertaining me, for teaching me, and for always being you.

(Not to mention being extremely nice to me the two times I have talked to you in person.)

Thank you, Harlan.

With love only those of us who are regulars here can understand,

Tim

Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday. This might just be my faulty cogitator, but seems to me Mr. Ellison just had a birthday last year.... Well, I'm sure he wouldn't steer us wrong, so I want to join in the throng and wish the Greatest Living Writer a wondermous Happiest Birthday!! I pray to God(s)(essess's) that you have 100 more! And, just as important, I hope we are all there to usher each one in!

Granada Media & Peter S. Beagle
Brian,

Thanks for posting this. Most of Granada's operations are still based in Manchester and so this will make interesting reading to many here.

FAQ

To "Sebastion" Re. Question #3
Ever hear of the Kyben?

Just because we haven't heard from them in a while doesn't mean they're not out there.... somewhere....

Don't turn your back, chum!

**

Harlan, happy birthday from a fan.

Dear Reactionary:

So only white women can qualify as British, hm? I'm certainly pro-abortion for trolls ...

Wife Playing Local Gig

Don't know if any of the LA-Based Webderlanders would want to come, but From the Department of Spousal Promotion: My wife (a jazz singer) has been booked this upcoming weekend at The Gardenia Restaurant and Lounge in West Hollywood. They called us yesterday to add a second night, so she'll be there both Friday and Saturday nights. Show starts at 9. Email me for the phone number if you'd like to come, we'd love to see and meet youse guys. Reservations highly recommended at this point.


(Rick, please delete if this is out of line.)

English women no longer capable of bearing children.

Leftist voluntary racial suicide cults growing in UK.

http://observer.guardian.co.uk/uk_news/story/0,6903,363750,00.html

I just stopped by this site for the first time in a while and noticed this software, so I figured I'd leave a message for Mr. Ellison.

I'll forego the story as to how I became a fan of yours. The larger point is that I simply wanted to say to you, indirectly though it may be, that you and your work are an inspiration to me.

Thanks for sticking with it.

Happy Birthday
Harlan,

I hope you had a wonderful birthday weekend!

Roger, I am sorry to hear about the ordeal you are going through. Please know that you are in my thoughts and prayers,

Mark

A belated Happy Birthday to my fellow birthday-hater.

We loves ya, mister.

Amy & Ben

Happy Belated Birthday
Happy Belated Birthday to Harlan...Hmmm I'm a sucker for May b-days, cos my political hero (JFK) was born on 5/29...curiouser and curiouser.

Late again...
Harlan, I hope you'll accept these belated congratulations on your birthday. I promise to be more punctual with my "Happy Birthday" wishes for your NEXT 72 natal days.

Late again...
Harlan, I hope you'll accept these belated congratulations on your birthday. I promise to be more punctual with my "Happy Birthday" wishes for your NEXT 72 natal days.

Happy Birthday!
Happy birthday, Mr. Ellison! I'm the person you once phoned (because of Our Mutual Friend Sally's encouragement) to give a first-page story critique on MY birthday (about four or so years ago) and we got to talking about our favorite novel, Don Westlake's _Trust Me On This_, and several aspects of good and bad writing (grin). I have never forgotten this, and I still appreciate it. You reminded me of my dad, who has been gone for years . . . and my professors in college (the ones I liked.) I hope that your Memorial Day birthday was happy and joyful!

Sincerely,
Shalanna Collins
still unpublished (sigh)

This one's to Roger Gjovig:

I have an idea of what you're going through. I can only hope that the ordeal will end with a recovery for those ailing, and that they are back to their old selves soon. Keep your loved ones close.


Chuck

Roger -
Very sorry to read of your difficult week. It seems, sometimes, that the news when bad just piles upon itself, one event to another.

The only words of condolence are "be there" for your family and friend, and take care of them to the best of your ability. It will not only be appreciated, but will, in and of itself, prove to be a salve for your own wounds.

Our thoughts, and I am sure I speak collectively, are with you.

SB

It's been a tough weekend. I got a call late Saturday night that a long time friend of mine that has been struggling with kemotherapy for her cancer just had a stroke and was in the hospital. I went to see her Sunday and it was really tough seeing my friend I've known for 25+ years as a vibrant and fun person reduced to this frail person bedridden with her kids who i also know at her side to help her. Very tough to deal with. Then I get home and check my email and find out my aunt/stepmother who is now married to my father is in the hospital in Iowa City with pneumonia and other physical problems.So I have to break the news to my mother and ask if she would like me to drive her over there Monday, knowing my father would also be there at the hospital when we visit. Being a good sister, she has me drive her over and we spend about an hour. Granted Helen is 83 and has not been in the best health for a while but it is still tough going to the hospital to visit family,friends or whoever.We survived the visit and put up with my father, although it was really tough for my mother to walk as far as we did just two weeks after her latest surgery on her hip. She is doing much better and is in a lot less pain so I guess that is an improvement. I guess that is it. I hate to bend your ears with trivial stuff but it helps to get rid of the pain some times by leaving it here on this screen. Take care. Roger

Harlan and Sagan
Dear Mr. Cavendish:

I found your comments about Harlan's "leftist" thinking rather odd in the context of praising Dr. Sagan, a many much more publically associated with the Left than Harlan Ellison. The only thing I might say about both men is that their work is humanist and skeptical--perhaps that makes them leftists, perhaps not, but I do believe they share these intellectual attributes. Your comments come across, I fear, as more misogynistic than anything. Perhaps I'm wrong.

Question for Harlan re Peter S. Beagle
Harlan, a friend at Balticon reported back about the problems Peter Beagle's had in getting his contracted-for royalties from Granada Films, who produced _The Last Unicorn_ in the late 1970s. According to the sources the friend cited (listed below), Beagle needs to raise money to even lodge the lawsuit.

I know there's very good chance that you've heard about this, or already offered advice and assistance to Beagle. But on the off-chance that I'm wrong I'll ask anyway: Is there any advice, or recommendations of experienced and willing attorneys, you might pass along to Beagle?

http://www.conlanpress.com/html/granada_f.html
http://www.boingboing.net/2006/03/28/help_peter_beagle_su.html
http://www.conlanpress.com/html/granada_h.html

(BTW, you don't have to comment about this here if ya don' wanna.)

Harlan,
Happy birthday.
Paul

Harlan, Don't Take it Personally...

Alex Toth was, from what I understand, like that to everyone, abrasive and sometimes rude.

Although I never met the man, everyone -- and I mean EVERYONE -- I've ever talked to who had met him said the same thing: As an artist the man was a genius, but he was extremely difficult to get along with.

Even our mutual friend Mark Evanier had stopped trying to get along with Toth, because of Toth's attitude. And if Mark can't get along with a person...

Well that speaks volumes as to what that person may be like vis-a-vis interpersonal relations.

Please remember, Harlan, I'm not chiming in to take this opportunity to speak ill of the dead. But there seemed to be some pain in the tone of your recollection of Toth. And I wanted to do what I could do to assuage that pain by saying, it wasn't to you personally that Toth was difficult; it was to, pretty much, all.

Bob

Loony Alert

Only an idiot would think that the tepid Garris/King adaptation of King's The Shining was better than the Kubrick rendering. The ending of the TV version is completely different from the book with the high school graduation stupidity. King went from destroying high schools with telekinesis to having the spirit world itself intervene on the behalf of some corrupt high school ceremony. Kubrick builds suspense with innuendo and suggestion which are more frightening than King's ridiculous spiders crawling out of mouths. But I have to admit that I like knife kill films that victimize sexually independent women in the minds of politically correct leftist do-gooders like Harlan who could never have foreseen the creatively neutered atrocity that is the Lifetime Corporate Network. Otherwise he would have renounced his errant leftist ways many a moon ago.

A posthumous collection of the great scientist Carl Sagan's writings is being published by his widow. You can pre-order it here.

http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=4860546

"muffin spawn"?

Oh, and happy birthday Harlan!

Belated happy birthday to you, Harlan! It sounds like it was a happy one indeed, and I hope you have many more with sound mind and body.

This was also the third anniversary of my having a stent installed in my ticker. I remember you mentioned Terry Dowling had one put in not too long ago. How is he doing?

He should be all right, if I'm any indication. Three years and still tickin'.

May your ticker never miss a beat.

Chuck

There was so much going on in "Lost" I think I need to watch it a second time. Is the guy that turned the key dead, and how about Locke and Mr Eko? If you have a conscience how could even a father, especially one having been as far removed as this one, kill 2 people and leave 3 more on their knees ready to die just so you can leave with your son? Where in the world were they at the end of the show when the 2 radio guys tracked a signal for the lady who was in love with the guy who turned the key that may or may not have blown everything to kingdom come at that station? I thought I had a modicum of intelligence when it came to figuring this stuff out, but I am very confused.
Roger

Many Happy Returns
Just de-lurking to wish Mr. E. a very happy birthday indeed. Here's to many more!
(Also, apropros of not much other than that I know that Lost has some fans here, not least Mr. E. himself, but what did everyone think of the season finale? Was I the only one that thought 'Homer Simpson' when they saw the statue?)
Best regards
Jes

The Cult Of The Personal revolves around us all. The unseen camera pans with snakelike precision. All the foibles of the super-rich and celebrity culture are played out, like their lives mean more to us then our own. We stick our eyes into the keyhole, when we should be looking into our own souls.

Sure, when Angelina brings up politics it's an unpardonable sin, but sure, when she gives birth to some actor's muffin spawn, the snake eye zooms in and the gulled ones masterbate, roving around on their creaking Lazy Susan.

Now, if Angelina wants to have a baby with me, then that's another story. That fucking kid would be shooting dice and talking smack as soon as he or she came from the steaming womb.

-------------

SEVENTY TWO!! This is one hip Seventy Two year old, that's for damn sure. Susan must have the Holy Grail next to Harlan's typewriter.

Happy Birthday ya vivacious ole' coot. Yowsa.

EDWARD BROCK:

Sure. Send it along. No prob.

he

ALEX:

You'll love this: though I may be disinterested to the point of UNinterested in the (to me tedious) birth-tube peregrinations of Brad/Angelina's offshoot, I was knocked-out AND interested in YOUR take on all this persiflage. Fascinating filosophy, my old friend. Thereby making THEM of value to me, via you.

RE: ALEX TOTH: Met him only once. He was brought by mutual friends to visit me in my home, many years ago; and though it wasn't as charming an encounter as I'd wished--having revered Toth and his many different works all the way back to my youth in the 1940s--it bore out the sad reality that putting two set-in-their-ways curmudgeonly eccentrics in the same small space does not usually result in "a good time was had by all." He was (in my opinion and recollection) way over the top in unprovoked rudeness and impoliteness, which I would not brook in my own home; and I asked him to leave. It broke my heart. I wanted ever so much to be a friend of Alex Toth's, but he was having none of it. To this day, I don't know what made him so contumelious. Maybe it was a bad day. I don't know. BUT THIS I DO KNOW: he was, in the truest artistic use of the word, a giant. His work never once failed to enrapture, capture, cajole me. In more than thirty or forty years. His passing is as saddening as it was inevitable. His work stays behind for us to enjoy to the last tick of our days, but his going cannot but dismay us. I regret--even though I tried several times, later in our lives,to hire him to do work for the Dream Corridor, which efforts he dismissed summarily--that the judicious moments never presented themselves in which the great, the much-revered, and justly so, Alex Toth and I might have become pals. It is one of the things in this life I look back upon with genuine regret. Though there was apparently nothing I could do to cobble up that miracle, nonetheless, it was simply: heartbreaking.

Heartbreaking.

Goodbye, sir. Go softly, rest sweetly.

Harlan Ellison

Harlan,

Sorry that it's late, but Happy Birthday!!!! I am sorry it has been overshadowed by the birth of the "Brangelina" spawn. (I can't believe I actually used the word "Brangelina" in sentence). Damn, I did it again.

But on to more important matters. I recently picked up a large lot of The Magazine of Fantasy & Science Fiction (almost a complete set from 1977-1981). One particularly nice piece is the November 1980 issue with a Kent Bash rendition of you on the cover (and your story "All The Lies That Are My Life" inside). Would it be too much of an inconvenience for me to send it to you for your autograph?

I assume sending it to the HERC address will get it to you, and since it's unlikley I'll ever get to meet you in person, it would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks,
Edward

P.S. Thanks for the William Irwin Thompson book suggestion (I do own "Coming Into Being" & intend to pick up more). Although not as influencial to me as Joseph Campbell, his work is very inspiring.

A Surprising Revelation
HARLAN: I'm probably the only one here who can or would say this, but I actually AM interested in the ongoing saga of Ms. Jolie's and Mr. Pitt's loinfruit--but, I might add, only in a purely sociological fashion.

No, I haven't gone gibbetmind; hear me out.

Whether on their own part or on the part of their publicists, the whole thing speaks to a particular astuteness in owning one's own celebrity. Think about it: Though each has a small handful of solid acting performances in their respective oeuvres, the two are known and are famous mainly through being easy on the eyes, and little else.

Yet they were able, through judicious appearances and releases, to shape an entire ongoing debate and spate of coverage over what is a simple act of life which billions perform on a regular basis with little fanfare. They were able to do everything entirely their own way, and have it roundly reported on a constant basis in the "news" media.
Contrast this with the reports in the last several years of pretty much all the other celebrity couples or weddings, where the principals were uniformly harassed, put-upon, or painted in unflattering lights.
(Also bear in mind that the last celebrity adulterers to share such a happy relationship with the press as Jolie and Pitt were Burton and Taylor--and the bloom went off that rose pretty quickly.)

This, along with the forays each has taken into social activism, bodes well should either or both ever take a shot at the celebrity-to-politics polka--and politics DOES interest me.

(And hell; if I ever get together enough money to fulfill my long-held dream of running for Congress, I would try to get their publicist as a consultant ...)

The Age of the Ticktockman is upon us...

...or a reasonably close facsimile, anyway.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060528/ap_on_re_us/impatient_nation

Oh, mares eat oats
And does eat oats
And little lambs eat Ivy
Happy Birthday, Harlan Ellison, for you.
Happy Birthday, Harlan Ellison, for you.

Alex Toth has passed away
Mr. Ellison, I'm not sure how well acquainted you have been with Alex Toth (comics creator and character designer for Jonny Quest, Space Ghost, and many others; for those not in the know), but Johah Weiland at Comic Book Resources is reporting that he died Saturday morning at the age of 78.

Here is a link to the story: http://www.comicbookresources.com/news/newsitem.cgi?id=7425

With five...no....four minutes to spare
Happy Birthday Harlan!!

Well when you read this it'll be tomorrow anyway,so happy birthday a day late. Sorry - been busy...

Happy Birthday Wishes!
Mr. Ellison,
I have been a fan since my 3rd wife took me to one of your lectures in San Francisco more years ago than I care to admit. I'd like to wish you a VERY happy birthday and to thank you for your wonderful entertainments and incisive commentary. You make people laugh, cry and think, usually in the same sentence. May you have health, happiness, peace and joy. Failing that, go out and get a REALLY good hot dog.

Happy Birthday, Harlan!

How Evil Are You?
http://blogthings.com/howevilareyouquiz/

Copyright attorney?


HARLAN-

I'm helping an artist's estate that has just encountered a copyright infringement. For some crazy reason or another, I thought that you might know a good copyright attorney.

Is there anyone you can suggest?

Thanks.

--
Ryan Leasher

Happy Birthday Harlan!

This made me dig up my copy of "Driving in the Spikes" so I could look up the nine traits of the cantankerous survivors. You know, by continually taking responsibility for your own actions, you're blowing off traits eight and nine? "A tendency to blame others" and "a resistance to blaming themselves"? What are you thinking, man?

It sounds like you're having a good birthday already, so I'll add my voice to the chorus and wish you many more.

Chris Seggerman

Happy Birthday, pal o' mine.
;)
Cindy

Birthday wishes
Happy 72nd birthday, Harlan. I hope you have many more, and also many more years of productive creativity.

I was staying at Walter Gibson's house the weekend of his 80th birthday, back in 1977. The morning of his birthday, he complained to me that he was slowing down and was only able to write five new books a year. For Walter, who had written 24 SHADOW novels annually in earlier times, that was old age. Every three weeks or so, he'd take the train into Manhattan to visit Simon and Schuster, Bantam, Grosset & Dunlap and whatever other publishers he had ongoing book contracts with.

Wishing one of my all-time favorite writers many more productive years, and much more of the brilliant work that has inspired your many fans for decades.

It's an hour and a half later. It was Len Wein and Chris Valada and Chris's son, Michael. They brought a birthday cake, which I need like an extra set of elbows. But, it's the thought, la dee dah dee doop doop doop.

So now I go back and look at the rest of "Sebastion" 's queries; and I'm bored with 'em, so that's that, buckos.

Happy birthday to you all.

Yr. pal, Harlan

(Who REALLY doesn't give a shit about Brad & Angelina's newly-spawned homunculus. Remember when CBS dispensed N.E.W.S.?)

For the Nth Time Today
Happy birthday, Harlan! I wish there were some way that I could present you with a gift that in some small way returned all the pleasure your work has given me over the years (to say nothing of the inspiration you've provided).

Hope you had a great day!

-- Kevin

Dear Harlan,

Happy birthday :)

Please stay around a very, very long time.

Warmly,

Shelly

Steve - Book lice are psocids (psocoptera) they like humidity. You can use a pyrethrum spray around your book shelves to try to get rid of them. The best way to prevent them from coming back is to keep the humidity down in your house the best you can and let in plenty of light. Book lice really like the damp and the dark.
Sorry about the loss of your books.

Sheesh
Harlan, I had no idea it was today. (Well, I had a slight idea, but wasn't sure). Happy Birthday, man.

REPLY TO "SEBASTION" (misspelled) "CAVENDISH"

(Or Whoever The Hell You Really Are)

(Since we abominate hiding-behind-pseudowebonymes here.)

(So you can assume I'm answering these questions not because I am in any way "embracing" your reality OR your anonymity, but truly only because my ACTUAL friends and readers here might find the answers diverting ... sort of my affectionate 72nd birthday present to them, much as startling as Josh and Annie showing up on the doorstep half an hour ago to surprise me with a wonderful jar of home-made sugar cookies -- the jar labeled POISON -- and the 2nd season of DEADWOOD as a DVD set!)

(If you want to hang around, step into the light.)

So.

1) Haven't seen it yet. Dying to. We have an if-come with Olson to see it on DVD, as beamed massif-size on his 1400 square foot plasmafuck neutroniomic tv screen. Alsoto be found in your gazetteer as Bolivia.

2) Am I afraid of dying? No.

2a) I do, however, admire Woody's reply to the question: "I don't mind dying, I just don't want to be there when it happens."

2b) How odd that you would ask that question and not understand that if one IS an Atheist, as am I, death is not the fearsome final frankfurter, it's LINGERING that chills my blood. To Alzheimer-out, needing my nappy changed, burdening Susan with a vegan's banquet, THAT is what once-in-a-while causes me turnin'&tossin'.

Ooops, someone just rang the doorbell, and someone has interrupted my solitude, so I'll come back later. Maybe.

Yr. pal, Harlan

Happy Birthday Harlan!!

You don't look a day over 40...I can hardly wait to be your age and look that good.

Have a terrific birthday Harlan. Let's hope you have many more happy and healthy ones. Greetings to Susan. As always, looking forward to the next Rabbit Hole, which I mught add you do a fabulous job on. Roger

Hi Harlan,

Congratulations and many happy returns on your birthday.


Steve - My complete sympathy with your strange plight. Book maggots? Did they evolve to be flies? What kind of enviroment would one have to live to promote this kind of growth? I thought maggots fed off decaying organic matter. How strange, please keep us updated.

The closest I got was finding out about a CD/DVD devouring fungas in Cuba which had eliminated some of my students music collection. I wish I had taken a sample to give the microbiologists back here (chances are I would be immediately arrested by UK customs for harbouring a weapon of mass destruction). It was certainly something I had never encountered before and it was quite interesting to see first hand though required humid conditions to become effective.

FAQ

HBME
Happy Birthday, Mr E.!

Best wishes from across the pond,

Rob

(Paul also wanted to wish you birthday greetings, but I don't like to interrupt him when he's eating.....)


(A little something is in the post.)

(Hello to the E.B. also - thanks for the big, wet, sloppy kiss down the phone - hope you're finding the mags to your liking!)

O' Happy day to the only fella to EVER (in my supposed state of adulthood, and rightly so) call me "kid". Best wishes + try to get back to Michigan!!

Is it that time of the year already?
My Gawd, time does fly in this little corner of the universe. And I thought it was only yesterday when I wrote "Apio verde to you" when wishing you a Happy Birthday.

Wait a miinute....was it last year that I did that? Or the year before that? Oh, no senility is beginning to creep in. Before it does any more damage to this fragile little mind of mine, a rather belated happy birthday to you Harlan.

Alejandro

What was Harlan Ellison's opinion of the new King Kong film?

Is Harlan Ellison afraid of dying especially as he says he is an atheist.

What is his opinion as to the likely hood of there being technologically advanced civilizations elsewhere in the universe?

I know he was an acquaintance of the great scientist Carl Sagan what is his fondest recollection of him?

When is he going to publish a NEW book not a reprint or collection of reprints?

That's all for now.

Hey, Harlan!
I just wanted to say publicly that getting to know you and - holy shit! - working with you have been better than any seventy birthdays combined. There's nothing I could possibly get you that could compare to the gift of knowing you and Susan.





So I'm buying you some socks.

Happy birthday, my friend.

The Hawwor! The Hawwor!

EEK! and ICK!

My hard bound copy of 'Vic and Blood' has been completely devoured by a colony of book maggots!! I am not kiddding. This is the most disturbing thing I've ever seen happen to a book. When I saw it from the outside, I noticed that the book looked like it had burned or had experienced severe water damage. When I tried to pull it off the shelf, I discovered that the entire contents of my signed edition had been turned to dirt! The pages were gone!! I am not exaggerating--this all happened in under six months. The colony had also finished with 'Vic and Blood' and had eaten half of my hard bound copy of 'League of Extraordinary Gentlemen' Volume II and then continued right into my hard bound 'League of Extraordinary Gentleman 'Volume I. I'm in shock! All my favorite graphic novels have been wiped out at once.

So, everybody! Please, check your copies of the Ellison and Corben 'Vic and Blood.'

Oh, and Happy Birthday, Grandmaster Ellison!

Steve Dooner

P.S. Has this ever happened to anyone else?

This Is Post-Thank You, but What the Heck ...

Now that you're a Grand Master, Harlan, I think you should be able to work backward with the birthdays, a little like Merlin.
So happy 70th, HE.

D.

Hoping for as much clarity of mind in my brain
Hey, happy birthday HE. I got back to the forum a little late :)

-A

Everybody: Thank you. And thank you. And...

Oh, yeah, also ... thank you.

And Bob Morales, put your clothes back on.

Susan (in defiance of our pinkie-swear w wouldn't "do" the gift thing, gave me only a

GREAT

birfday gift. She is such a peach, my honey.)

Had dinner at Mogo's Mongolian BBQ last night with writers Paul Guay and his partner Steve Brion; and Josh; and Susan. What a terrific evening.

And did I happen to drop in a proper THANKYOU to all of you?

Yr. pal, Harlan

And Best Wishes From Me, Too

Harlan,

Allow me to offer you my best birthday wishes, too.

Bob

Harlan,

Debbie and I extend you a Happy SuperDuper Birthday greeing to you!

-TODD

I know it has already been said, but Paul T. Riddell had to remind me: Happy Birthday. May there be many more where that came from.

Happy Birthday, Harlan!

It's just another trip around the Sun on our lovely spaceship Earth...

Better you than me my friend!
That's right! Praise Xemu and my other alien overlord secret masters that it's only YOU that is turning into a crepuscular old fart while I have remained ever youthful and bonestickstone stupid.

WTF?!? Where's my Ted Nugent hair? Who wrapped this tire around me? Who dyed my beard grey and put all this useless knowledge in my head??? I want my Nugenty hair back - you bastards!!!

Ok, I've got designer starches to buy and a picnic to get to. Have a great day.

Susan - as always, let the spanking begin. Have someone assist you if you get tired. Jesus, the task gets more onerous even as the target expands. ALL of our targets. ;-)

Probably something going in the mail Tuesday once I find which box I tucked it in.

Love and nothin' but - Barney

Oh, and here is Twain's 70th B-Day Delmonico Speech.
Perservere.

http://www.pbs.org/marktwain/learnmore/writings_seventieth.html

Okay, I'm NOT wishing a CERTAIN SOMEONE anything resembling a reminder of THEIR BIRTH 70-some-odd years in the past.

I AM reminding THAT PERSON that 72 is the NEW "50".

If I WERE wishing THAT PERSON anything resembling a HAPPY BIRTHDAY it WOULD be said with much STYLE and GRACE and not a little bit of humor, with SINCERE hopes that he spends the ENTIRE DAY in CELEBRATION with his stupendously BEAUTIFUL and LOVING wife.

BUT I'M NOT GONNA DO IT. NO SIRREE BOB.


(On the other hand, have a stupendous Feliz Cumpleanos today Mr. E.)

Birthday greeting
Mr. Ellison,

Salutations and congratulations upon the occasion of your 72nd birthday. May you and yours' have good health and good cheer this day and always!

Excellent Health and Joy
Harlan,
May your days be filled with delights and wonder!

yr. pal, Shane

Harlan

Keep tearin' it up.

You big badass, you.

Hi Susan.


Rick

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Happy Birthday, Harlan! What are ya now, seventy-two?

Ahh, yer jus' gettin' _stahted_.

Simply....
Happy Birthday Harlan, hope you and Susan have a terrific day.

Peg

Happy YouknowWhat
HARLAN: Happy YouKnowWhat. Hope the Weekend is productive and fun.
SUSAN: Harlan's a lucky man - and I'm sure you feel equally fortiutous (you know -- on those days when he _isn't_ watching Judge Judy -- oy!)

Warm wishes to you both,

Door o>-<

(signed in secret code, so Harlan can't identify me and send out the local Blue-Monkey Mafioso types to smack me around with bannana peels)

Not going to make a big deal about it...
...but this day in 1934 was, by my reckoning, a pretty good day for the world in general and my world in particular.

Here's me sending crazy mad love to Harlan and Susan today and all the days to come.

Tony

Important Moments
Sooner or later we all discover that the important moments in life are not the advertised ones, not the birthdays, the graduations, the weddings, not the great goals achieved. The real milestones are less prepossessing. They come to the door of memory unannounced, stray dogs that amble in, sniff around a bit and simply never leave. Our lives are measured by these.

- Susan B. Anthony

Have a great B-day.

Michael

p.s. And I have not forgotten about the project. In the the process of making some major life changes, but still have the trip on my calendar.

Harlan, I heard you've been nominated for the Grand Birthday Award in the category "most phenomenal writer". This is one you have no choice but to accept. :-) Congratulations, and good luck with your innumerable projects. If I say "Don't retire", don't take it as something a drug addict or a vampire would say but as well-meaning encouragement, because you obviosuly wouldn't have it any other way. :-)

Anyone else ever read the parody piece that used to float around the Internet, "Houseplants of Gor"? Hilarious stuff if you can still find it.

Love, Rudiger

HARLAN: I know you don't care for these things, but I ask you to consider the source: Paul T. Riddell, in the middle of writing about what a bad week it had been for him, asked that happy birthday wishes be sent to "one of [his] most influential childhood role models".

That pretty much goes for me as well. Keep young at spleen, and have a good one.

stuff and noise
I just noticed something. I bought I, ROBOT again in AZ, and was re-reading through it , and i saw the passage in scene 241 where Bratenahl says, "...I apologize for startling you when i was here the last time; for causing you to drop that vase."
I remembered it was this, at my tender 17 yrs old, that made me notice the differential meanings for 'caused someone to do something' and 'made someone do something'. I learned that from Harlan. That makes me happy, and it doesn't hurt my prose at all. Just a thought.

Also, I bid on and won a pair of Outer Limits poseable figures at the charity auction (actually, i got the second batch). So I'm glancing over the David Schow O.L. COMPANION, and Producer Leslie Stevens made a remark relating to the roles of artists and businessmen in the showbiz industry. Specifically, why he left after the first season: "The artist sometimes puts art above everything and when he does that, he's not in the industry anymore."
It just reminded me of a snippet Mssr. Ellison had written in WATCHING about being at the point of a time, riding a wave that if caught, could propel you in wanted directions. He discussed the premiere for THE OSCAR and seeing his Hollywood career go down in ashes or something to that effect. Being reminded of all the railing against bad movies and bad t.v. and the current cobbling of THE DISCARDED, i'm glad to see it coming together for Harlan once again.
"Here's to the pencil pushers. May they all get lead poisoning."

Harlan, i believe i read you had suffered from shingles at one time. My Uncle had it something wicked. I just saw this, thought i'd throw it out to everyone. Guess the FDA can do it right once in a while. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060526/ap_on_he_me/shingles_vaccine_12

Dave~ I know it's unethical and all, but if you just just "lose" June's phone number in this direction, i'd appreciate it. My dishes are piling up something fierce......
p.

Dave Clarke:

There are several, um, subcultures that cross-pollinate with the Goreans. Not that I'd know anything about that or anything...

Todd: THAT kind of question should usually be answered with an exotic locale, said while stroking your chin and squinting as if trying to make a solomonic judgment: "The woods? The mountain near the beehive?"

General: There is one Harlan story I want to hear in person, because I've also heard it must be told that way. The first time I saw Harlan at ASU West in 1999, he mentioned being either arrested or detained for the attempted assassination of a foreign diplomat. A friend who was with me remembers the lecture well and brought up that point when I told him about the Nebulas: "Didja ask about..."

He remembered Harlan saying the story took two hours to tell properly.

Next time Harlan opens up the floor for questions and I'm in the room...

Gorean tales

As I've always suspected, there is is a large subculture built around the Gor series by John Frederick Lange, Jr. (John Norman). I've sold a few of the Gor books on eBay. In the course of one transaction, a Canadian buyer named June asked me if I was Gorean, and I replied "er,uh,no."

But I do own two leather jackets...

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2006/05/18/uslave.xml&sSheet=/news/2006/05/18/ixnews.html

DC

RIP Desmond Dekker.

For once, I agree with Frank: "Lists, lists, lists--let's give this angle a rest, ok? We all have secret lists of all of our loves, from favorite books to favorite places to have sex, but it doesn't mean we have to list all of this stuff, just to show the rest of the room how hip we all are."

Though he does bring up a more interesting list; favorite places to have sex.

My list: In my wife.


Crude, but true.

Ciao. -TODD

"Like why didn't Major League baseball fine that fucker for hitting that guy the other day?"

Did. Fine, plus a fitting 10-day suspension. Puzzling thing is that MLB also fined the guy what got punched. He slid hard, but everyone involved (including the punch-thrower) admitted it was a clean play. After getting socked in the jaw, he backed off, dazed, and watched the melee, but didn't join in.

I can only suppose that his rep -- which just last week helped earn him the title of the Player Other Players Would Most Like to See Hit by a Pitch -- was the deciding factor. Hope he tells them to shove their fine up whichever hole makes the biggest stink.

*******************

EZRA:

Weren't you warned that it's dangerous to read the ANATOMY cover-to-cover? Pairing that with MELMOTH seems an exceptionally risky endeavor, so please, keep to your promise of nothing but comics for the next 6 months to rebalance your headspace.

classic Ellison anecdotes

Rick Keeney:

Seems like I've read a little bit about both the stories you mention, but I couldn't possibly tell you where. The Bradbury story involves a time -- fairly early in Ellison's career; I'm guessing early to mid 1960s, but it might have been earlier -- when Ellison happened to be outside a news stand and Bradbury, not knowing he was there, was praising his work to somebody: You gotta read this kid Ellison, he's fantastic! Wouldn't that give YOU a warm feeling all over?

The second one is more sketchy. I can't be certain, but that may have been the same event in which the three writers discussed a terrific story idea and all decided to write their version of it and come back and compare. Ellison's turned out to be "The Diagonosis of Dr. D'Arque Angel" (check the intro to that one -- I think it's in Strange Wine -- for possible details), Bradbury's turned out to be something very different called "The Utterly Perfect Murder" (one of my all-time favorites; I use a portion of it as a dramatic monologue for auditions), and Herbert, if I remember correctly, didn't deliver. But for the ovation part, I don't recall seeing the details.

Kung Fu fightin'
Harlan,some more Bruce Lee stories! Perty pleeeeze!

There was that one time, when I was slumped reading in a chair reading, with my legs crossed, and Harlan silently walked up to me and kicked my shoe, saying, "Whaddaya doin', loafin' around?"

I'll add my vote to Eric's missive (though this is looking perilously close to a pile-on to poor Mr. Coil, who's tongue may have been just a wee bit encheeked in his original message).

Only caveat: I suggest that we can be both readers AND peers, given the definitions provided by Mr. Martin and whatever topic may be at hand.

Then again, it's Harlan's show, so whatever behavior the man wants on his Pavilion he'll get.

IMHO, of course.

all the bases
..and I will third these fine gentlemen, and I shall fifth Mssrs. Jack Daniels and John Walker the Red. Finally, I'll mention my new girlfriend, with whom I can only get to 2nd.

how's that for a list, ladies?

OK,
Rick, (who was only joking about Will's Self, thank you very much)

I third Bud and Eric. I realize a desire to know just what happened when Harlan and Sprague de Camp discovered Lemuria in the sewers of LA back in Ought-Four comes naturally to Ellison fans. However, given the generosity of Harlan when it comes to telling stories about his life, begging for specific untold stories strikes me as moving perilously close to saying, "Dance, monkey, dance!" to Harlan.

Passive-aggressively yours, Rudiger

ERIC:
We are in complete agreement on this one, chum.

Let's not. Let's leave the hero-worship and celebrity-gushing where it belongs, in People magazine.

Let's be readers, appreciative yet critical when need be, impatient for new work, and ready to argue over old pieces like we would the merits of fine old wines.

Or let's be peers, with similar interests in discussing art, culture, politics, or whatever is floating someone's boat at the moment, and not concern ourselves with each other's personal lives.

Let's Make A List!

Let's make a list of all the Harlan Ellison Real Life Stories that we would like to know about.

Then, maybe, Harlan might (Maybe? Please?) tell us one story a month until he runs out of subjects on the list.

2 subjects from recent posts are how Harlan and Susan "met cute" (as they say in Hollywood-speak) and the just mentioned appearance that had 700 teachers laughing and crying.

good times roll


Harlan said, (In the intro to Ray Bradbury's "Christ, Old Student in a New School", from AGAIN, DANGEROUS VISIONS.)

"I was going into detail about those two swell times I had with Bradbury--one at the newstand on Cahuenga and Hollywood Boulevards, the other an afternoon we spent on the same podium with Frank Herbert, where the spark-gap was leapt and seven hundred California English teachers wept and laughed and gave us a standing ovation and for one of the rare moments in my life I truly believed, down to the gut core of myself, that it was the noblest thing in the world to be a writer--but space doesn't permit, and besides I'd rather tell it to you when we meet and have more time to talk."

Have you ever shared this one publicly, Harlan? Care to share?

Thanks,
Rick

Lists, lists, lists--let's give this angle a rest, ok? We all have secret lists of all of our loves, from favorite books to favorite places to have sex, but it doesn't mean we have to list all of this stuff, just to show the rest of the room how hip we all are. We know the cool factor grows deep roots in this room, so let's find another topic, or topics.

Like why didn't Major League baseball fine that fucker for hitting that guy the other day? Ever since the war violence has been about as likely in this country as sneezing. I'd doubt we could blame all of this on video games or low sperm counts.

Two stories I loved
Both by Barrington Bayley

"The Fall of Chronopolis" Time can never be destroyed, but it can be recycled.

"The Garments of Gaean" Tired of being pushed around, he acquires a new suit and a new personality.

I had a choice of topics for the once-daily Pavilion post, but the below takes the cake in metaphorical way.

My only reaction is a furrowing, unfurrowing of the brow and an opening and closing of the mouth in rapid succession.


"Sci Fi Gets Pro Wrestling
You read that correctly: pro wrestling"


And that's headline...

A glimpse at the shelves reveals...

...mostly nonfiction to my right, including works by Martin Gardner, Carl Sagan, Michael Shermer, Bob Pennock, Isaac Asimov, Steve Allen, Loren Eiseley, S.J. Gould, Richard Dawkins, plus assorted nonfiction reference, science and nature books, a complete set of the Durant's "A Story of Civilization", and at least twenty books on the subject of atheism and freethought. Behind me are approximately 350 collectible paperbacks from some of my favorite authors, including Harlan, Richard Matheson, Bob Bloch, Brian Aldiss, Lovecraft, C. Beaumont, Joe Lansdale, P.K. Dick, Tom Disch, E.R. Burroughs, Bierce, Cabell, Ramsey Campbell, Karl Edward Wagner, Robert E. Howard, W.H. Hodgson, Fritz Leiber, Gene Wolfe, Bill Pronzini (Nameless Detective) and so on.

And that's just this room.

Short Story Writers
Steve Barber - You are spot on with 'A Small Good Thing'. Thought the world had gone mad when the previous lists omitted Mr. Carver.

Rick the Slice - Have you lost your mind? Will Self? Can't argue with the rest of the list.

Harlan - A very belated congratulations on your GrandMasterdom.

Cheers. Iain

Yes indeedy we are a buncha well-read sombodies.

As for me I just finished MELMOTH THE WANDERER and ANATOMY OF MELANCHOLY back to back so it's comics for me for the next six months.

Say they pulled the plug on Superboy? What happened to Krypto?

Towel Day
For those as are interested, today is Towel Day...
http://www.towelday.kojv.net/

Stay hoopy, froods.

We've already had two bear appearances on Lost -- now, to push the Irving reference further, maybe one of the characters will either have wrestling in his background or have been initiated into sex by a much older woman.

Serriously, though, now I have to wrack my brain for possible clues (or perhaps clews) yielded by Irving's works. Grr. Argh.

Henry Gale was the name of Dorothy (Wizard of Oz) Gale's uncle, wasn't it?

great art from earlier days
Does anyone know if the Dillon artworks from the original "Ace Special" have ever been collected into a color-plate book? Some years ago, a random con-met stranger & I got to comparing notes, & we were certain that between us we had more than half the series. We made drunken plans to host a sealed display just to show off the covers, but it never happened. Having lost most of those over the years, I find I'm missing the art more than the books, which often have gone into reprint elsewhere.

A random glance at my randomly arranged bookshelf reveals....
Greg Bear, George Alec Effinger, Mary Shelley, Roger Zelazny, Shakespeare, Mercedes Lackey, Neil Gaiman, Emily Dickinson, Walt Whitman, Dante, Phyllis Gottleib, Spider Robinson, David Brin, Niven/Pournelle, Alistair Cooke, Heinlein, George R.R. Martin, Poul Anderson, John Brunner, Vernor Vinge, Douglas Adams, Dan Simmons, Emily Bronte, Neal Stephenson, E.M. Forster, Chaucer, Peter S. Beagle, Kim Newman, Hans Christian Andersen, Charlotte Bronte, Mark Twain...and...overflowing: James Burke, Iain Pears, the Watchmen graphic novel, Elizabeth Moon, a PILE of Harlan stuff I bought from Susan room or no room, Kipling, Tad Williams, Horace Walpole....
....most of my Asimov stuff is in storage along with my Tolkein illustrated editions....and I forget what else...

Borrowed from my father's bookshelf: Dostoyevsky, Fitzgerald, Norman Mailer, still need to get around to the Hemingway...
...read some Westlake as well as Borges from the library....

Kristin
yeah i was an English major

"Lost," and the Mysterious John Irving link
ANYBODY else catch the link between the character of Desmond and writer John Irving on Wednesday night's episode of "Lost"? (Irving once told an interviewer -- or two -- that he'd read all of the works of Charles Dickens save one: OUR MUTUAL FRIEND. He is saving that for the day that he becomes sickly, or deathly-ill, and bedridden...and is in need of a good read).
--DTS (all of which is appropos of nothing in the ongoing coversation, save it mentions two more great writers).

One of my favorite short story writers also is considered the greatest novelist of all time by many-Dostoyevsky. Ah, to be able to read the Master in his native Russian!

Political irony packs its bags under my eyes.

-------

On Hardball today, Matthews was interviewing Virginia Senator, George Allen. Allen was asked by Matthews why he used to wear a confederate flag pin, when he was in college. Allen's answer was a hoot: He basically said that in his younger days he was rebellious and "questioned authority." This is why he wore the symbol of lynchings and church burnings. Talk about putting his foot in his trap. Republicans amuse me. And, this is the happy one.

The reason I'm a reader today is because my grandma happened to pick up a book of short stories by Jack London for my 10th birthday. Hate to think of where I'd be without that little coinkidink.

If not the greatest, at least on the same page...
Carol Emshwiller received the Nebula's Best Short Story of 2005 award and it looks damn fine on her. Been a longtime reader of hers, i have. My vote for the one that gets me to looking for anthologies and collections, and i'll buy one, if only just for his tale and nothing else, is Steve Rasnic Tem. Many is the book that is edited horribly and will be bought by me for the sole story by Steve Tem. I've read quite a few out loud to friends and he stands squarely next to Harlan in the 'like it or hate it, but never indifferent' category. Bloody genius.
p.

I don't just split the infinitive, i verily massacre the poor bugger.
My apologies to your eyes.
p.

O. Henry was the greatest short story writer.

I guess the Wikipedia Foundation is composed of suntanned Martha's Vineyard liberal art student colony types. Like William Kennedy Smith. Because the Stephen King entry is sprinkled with their tell tale droppings that gives them away. Genius sure arouses the gasping hyperbole of the constitutionally second rate. The big fat Yahoo Lucius Shpherd and S.T. Joshi the bath-boy of Harold Bloom for example.

The Best of the Old Pros: Donald E. Westlake
Slate's got a nice appreciation of the great Westlake's "Parker" novels in its Pulp Fuction Week, at http://www.slate.com/id/2142091/

And Westlake's agents announce that he's got a new Parker coming out this year: _Ask the Parrot_, which is a weird title for a Parker novel, actually. http://www.ljkliterary.com/titlesandauthors/DonaldWestlake.html

Two months ago, _Chronogram_ ran a really good profile of the man, at http://www.chronogram.com/issue/2006/04/arts/books/. Yep, he uses a manual typewriter, too.

So, YAY.

Oh, Eric, you such da cynic.


My non-exhaustive gathering of not-so-obscure writers who deservedly would make any authoritative list:

Ernest Hemingway; Mark Twain; Raymond Carver (who's 'A Small Good Thing' is one of the most wonderfully intimate and emotional stories ever writ); Unca Harlan (not sucking up, his work stands on its own in this crowd); James Faulkner; John Steinbeck; Ray Bradbury; Raymond Chandler; Edgar Allan Poe; Herman Melville; Jack London and O. Henry.

I'm just sayin'.

Dilution, dilution

I think the notion of "the greatest" has been rendered moot. I'm sure all of these writers have crafted fine stories, but the effort to reach consensus on the best of the best has been sidelined as everyone trundles out not only their personal favorites, but also a smattering of genuine obscurities, probably so we know how interesting their reading list is.

working on the cockney
All good choices RT and Mr. Morales; Joyce, Paul Bowles (!!)Sturgeon, Chekov and Franz Kafka in particular. ahh, Kafka, the Human Non Sequitur.


For consideration:
Evan S. Connell, W.S. Merwin-if you will indulge me and accept THE MINER'S PALE CHILDREN and HOUSES AND TRAVELLERS (prose poetry as a form of short fiction?), John O'Hara, William Irish, Will Self, Cliff Simak, Denis Johnson, Larry Brown (God rest your fiery soul, my man), Robert Aickman, Stephen King, Kim Newman fills my moat, Silverbob and Paul Linebarger and Wm. Faulkner are good enough to mention twice, Eudora P. Welty, Anthony Boucher, Avram Davidson, Guy de Maupassant, Thomas Ligotti, Kurt Vonnegut, Henry James (though I hates him--and I know that's all about me), Charles Bukowski, Howard Waldrop, Neil Gaiman, Nathalie-Charles Henneberg and Boris Vian (who both haves stories in THE WORLD TREASURY OF SCIENCE FICTION), Michael Marshall Smith, anything I ever laid eyes on by Gene Wolfe was better than good, John Collier, "Crazy Ray" Lafferty, Horacio Quiroga(the Uruguayan--who I have meant to mention to Harlan-read "The Machete", please), Rick Bass, Amy Hempel, Rick Moody, Mark Richard, Flannery-dear Flannery, Jack Cady...I'd name O'Hara the best of this pared down WASP-dominated bunch.
--------------------------


BARNEY

You probably just had a typo sort of malfunction, but I forgot to mention that one gentleman you named so long ago in your fine Nebula timeline is properly called

J-O-N M-A-N-Z-O, not M-O-N-Z-O.

Jon was just one of a number of fine fine people I met at MINICON. A true fan and quality hoomun bean. Anyone who can excite a fifteen year-old about ANYTHING that is not on cable is immediately entered into my Little Red Book of Heroes. Jon had my mid-child squawking for hours about Ray Bradbury and how she now wants to attend a major skiffy convention with her old dad.
-------

ROB EWAN

Can we please hear from you? A mere cutlet will do, mate.

(cutlet=meat=bleat...how'd i do?)

email me, couldya? and tell Paul hello and what's for lunch.


ok, now meds.

sufferin',
Rick

More of the greatest short story writers:

Add Chekov, Doyle, Kipling, Poe, and Twain. Add George Ade, Poul Anderson, J.G. Ballard, Charles Beaumont, Ambrose Beirce, Alfred Bester, Robert Bloch, Paul Bowles, Fredric Brown, Paul Cain, Italo Calvino, Leonora Carrington, Angela Carter, Raymond Chandler, John Cheever, Robert Coover, James Crumley, Samuel R. Delany, Isak Dinesen, Thomas M. Disch, Stanley Ellin, and Carol Emshwiller. Add Thomas Farber, Philip Jose Farmer, Chrostopher Fowler, William H. Gass, Dashiell Hammett, Robert A. Heinlein, Chester Himes, Harvey Jacobs, Shirley Jackson, James Patrick Kelly, Gerald Kersh, Danilo Kis, Damon Knight, Barry N. Malzberg, Don Marquis, Bobbie Ann Mason, Val McDermid, Leonard Michaels, John Mortimer, and Joyce Carol Oates. Add Dorothy Parker, S.J. Perelman, Edogawa Rampo, Lynda Schor, Robert Sheckley, Lucius Shepard, Robert Silverberg, Cordwainer Smith, James Tiptree Jr, James Thurber, Luisa Valenzuela, A.E. Van Vogt, Donald E. Westlake, Kate Wilhelm, Gene Wolfe, Cornell Woolrich, and Roger Zelazny.

Harlan,

G4 played the "City" episode last night and as I mentioned here last week they scrolled many facts about you and your original script. The only glaring error I saw was that they said Trooper's name was Rodent. I taped it if you're interested. Best,

A non-vasectomy-related question:

Who would you say are the greatest short story writers, exclusive of genre or anything else?

My list (which changes hourly) would be, right now:

James Joyce, William Faulkner, Alice Munro, Ernest Hemingway, Franz Kafka, Jorge Luis Borges, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Alejandro Cortazar, Fritz Leiber, Harlan Ellison, Theodore Sturgeon, Roald Dahl, Philip K. Dick, Randall Garrett, Robert Heinlein, Joanna Russ, Ursula LeGuin, John Collier, Ray Bradbury, John Varley, Somerset Maugham, JD Salinger, Margaret Atwood, Isaac Asimov...

How about you guys?

Love, Rudiger

Glad to be here!
Rick, thank you for the kind welcome. This is an incredibly well done site! I spent some hours browsing through it, and I found it to be very informative and interesting.

And Harlan, I thank you very much for the reply.

MANY THANKS HARLAN and SUSAN
Dear Susan:

Many, many thanks to you and to Harlan. It really IS a boon to me as far as the project is concerned. The four most important pieces are the first one, by John; the last one, which closes the book; and the two at the heart of the thing, which will be by Harlan. Good luck dealing with phone salesman, Susan. On the computer, on the phone, or in person, I don't do well with sales people -- I usually end up playing with toys, the buttons on my shirt, or the dead bug on the floor, all the while forgetting to pay attention to the details. Hell, I wouldn't be typing this on a brand new keyboard if _my_ better half hadn't gotten tired of waiting for me to look into the matter.

Hope you two have a relaxing and enjoyable evening.
Warm wishes,

Dorman

Dear Dorman:

Tried to reach you after we talked. Trouble with the phones. Please give us a call 10:00am-5:00pm.

Thanks--Susan

Fountain Pen Provenance
Harlan,

Some time ago, when reading this website’s transcription of your commentary on The Buzz, I saw one dealing with fountain pens. I would have loved to see the video and lay eyes on the small wonders you described.

Having seen you in person since, signing at the Nebulas, I caught part of a story about the pen you used. It looked like it was either stainless steel or silver plated, covered with straight lines of turquoise and carnelian squares no bigger than a millimeter. It wrote with rusty-orange ink, about the same shade as carnelian.

You mentioned that you’d seen the pen, coveted it, but couldn’t justify the price tag. However, a venue in a city you didn’t want to go to wanted you to speak, so you got most of the pen money that way. Do I have the legend right?

More importantly, what, pray tell, is the provenance of the pen? Name, maker, designer, ink manufacturer?

Also, I noticed you had a leather pouch shaped like a long trapezoid with several compartments for writing instruments. My girlfriend, a veteran of the Society For Creative Anachronism, called it a “scribe’s pouch.” I would like an item like it, but it looked handmade. Can you tell me anything about it, and where I could acquire something like it.

Thanks,

Chris

theft of vets' data
Thanks for that report, Rich.

Actually, it looks like another one of those "don't panic, because we haven't figured out how to benefit from your panic yet" things from the Administration.

The report came out from the VA, who made it clear that this was nothing serious.

Next hour, the VA is -- quelle surprise!! -- coincidentally sponsoring a series of presentations on how veterans can protect themselves from identity theft.

But, the VA says, fortunately that theft will only affect a few veterans.

Next hour -- redux surprise!! -- it's revealed to be 23,000,000 veterans.

Normally, I trust the VA, but news releases are likely being filtered by the White House. And "filtered" tends to mean "flipped 180 degrees, & all bad stuff is blamed on 'partisan politics' which means 'Democrats who won't rubber-stamp our propaganda.'"

The laptop just happened to be, against regulations, in a VA employee's home when the place was burgled.

We'll probably find out it was an FBI "sneak&peek."

And that the employee had been ordered to work off the clock, or else.

And that the work was being done to scam the budgetary oversight.

And that...

Oh, hell. Aaron Magruder was right: "Political irony is dead."

Anyway, if you are or know a veteran, make sure they know how to spot any scams, & to report any suspicions.

Just a public service announcement.

I'm sure most everyone is aware of the recent theft concerning data on veterans. And if you haven't heard, well...there's been a theft concerning data on veterans.

I know there's a few veterans out there so just check your financial records, make sure there's been no suspicious activity. If you want more information on the extent of the "damage" (CNN said that the data covered ALL servicemembers since 1975), check out http://www.firstgov.gov/veteransinfo.shtml

This public service announcement brought to you by Skippy, cub reporter.

New Orleans Report
(Harlan - Phone guy and I are trading messages. I'll talk to him today, promise.)
___________________________________________

(Taken from notes and written without a whole lot of sleep, but it's the first draft of impressions and thoughts about the state of the Big Easy, which is feeling at bit more "uneasy" these days. Sorry for the length, but thought it might be of interest. Is there any word as to how Poppy Z. Brite is doing???)


Yesterday we returned to the Los Angeles area from my photoshoot in New Orleans. It's so very nice to be back to where things are normal and ordinary -- or as much ordinary as LA will ever let them be.

The Big Easy is a city in pain. The ravages of Katrina can still be seen here and there. Smashed homes along the side of the road, trees with new regrowth of leaves and branches lost in the storm, a Motel 6 with a missing stairwell column alongside I-10 as you head east from the airport.

Underneath the elevated portion of the freeway as it races past the Vieux Carre holds a rusting reminder of the full extent of the city's agony. What once was a large-scale parking lot for commuters, tourists and local business owners is now a graveyard for thousands of bruised, battered and nearly unrecognizable automobiles of all makes and tax brackets. Late model used cars. Take your pick, some front end damage.

The damage spared some, and totaled others. "Totaled" is now a description of property more than the result of an automotive collision, and to most is a welcome thing.
---
The storm had no regard for history or economic background. I met a feisty but dignified southern lady named "Dixie" (we don't mention her age in polite company), who lives in the gentrified and elegant Garden District. Her neighbors include actor John Goodman and writer Anne Rice. Dixie rode out the storm but later needed to be rescued, not because of rising waters but the lack of air conditioning and dangers from the roving looters. Her home was spared, nothing stolen and nothing permanently damaged. In a quiet moment Dixie will allow that she's nervous about the upcoming hurricane season.

"I dread," she says, "June 1st..."
---
Across town in the middle class suburb of Metairie we're shopping in a local store, in a mini-mall of sorts, on a small rise above the highway and up five steps from the parking lot. In line we meet several people who are rooming with friends or just finishing plans to move away. One woman tears up as she mentions her two dogs. "My children". She sees them for an hour a day as she visits with them in the local kennel -- her temporary living arrangements won't allow them to be with her. She misses her "babies", and notes that her Golden Retriever's fur has gone completely white in the last year.

"I just want things to be normal again." She apologizes for a moment. "And hurricane season is only a couple of weeks away..."
The shop owner comes out from behind the register and gently hugs the woman, bracing her. You can tell she does this on a regular basis. The owner later notes that she had three different shops before Katrina. One is fine. This one, on the rise and up the five stairs, had three feet of water in it. She only reopened two months ago. When asked about the third location she shakes her head from a tired and faraway place, telling us it will never reopen.
---
At a plantation thirty miles from the city the tourguide mentions that a year ago the plantation employed thirty guides, and expected between eight hundred and a thousand tourists a day. Today, she whispers, they hope to get Eighty. That would be a good day for the two guides who are left.

"And with June 1st coming," she shrugs, "who knows?"
---
Brennans is still closed, but you can walk in unannounced on a Friday night and get immediate seating at the Court of Two Sisters. The jazz still pours onto Bourbon Street from a dozen nightclubs, but the seating is easy and the bartenders are b ored, even on a Saturday night. Walking on Bourbon doesn't require the two-step agility as you dodge other patrons and balance your drink. Nowadays only the drink is a challenge. Pat O'Brien's is a fast walk-through and tables are available even near the water and fire fountain.

The City needs tourists, first and formost, we're told by the event coordinator at a local boutique hotel. The economic engines that drive the city are slowly grinding to life, and the populace desperately want the city back. But they all watch the calendar with nervous trepidation.

"If it happens again," comments the waiter at a French Quarter restaurant, "we're done."
---
"Tell your friends," says the tourguide at Oak Alley Plantation in an almost conspiratorial voice. "Tell them how much fun you had. Maybe we can make it. If we get the tourists, maybe we can make it."

Then she glances at the calendar.

"Maybe."


Anyway. Just thought I'd report what I saw -- news at eleven and I'll be posting shots over on the website later this week.

I was being obtuse.


By way of clarification: I did not have a vasectomy. Mucho, mucho worse. It amounted to more of a vasectomy reversal. Yeah.

Way fun. Like juggling mothers-in-law.

At least the scars will be conversation pieces.



And welcome, Timothy Aymar, to Everything Ellison. Right this way to the big top, young brutha.

Oxycodonized,
Rick

I saw some posts about _Fingerprints On The Sky_ and thought I would pass this along from Dave Hinchberger at the Overlook Connection Bookstore and Press:

"Hello, this e-mail is going out to the few people who've asked about "Fingerprints On The Sky" and the release date. We did have the release date changed, but it takes time for Amazon, and other sites to update their system. The correct final release date (albeit there are no production problems) is November 7th, 2006."

--
Ryan Leasher

I’m finally getting a chance to post after attending the Nebulas. Everyone has already shared the important things. But I was glad to get the chance to put faces with names. In particular, it was nice talking to you Todd.

Harlan - an important question came to mind while I was standing in line for a picture of you holding those keys. (There is a relatively short story that is not worth sharing here regarding those keys. However, I am sure it is far from the weirdest thing you have been requested to hold while being photographed.) I asked Susan if you had ever written about the time you two met (because I hate making people repeat stories I can look up) and she indicated that she didn’t think so. She then went on to say that it was in Glasgow and that the meeting was “quite cute”. She admitted that she was embarrassed just talking about it (“typical British reserve”) and I didn’t feel right pressing her for more information.

However, would you mind sharing with us now? It sounds like another chance for you to show the hopeless romantic we know lurks just below the surface.

Thanks

Oh – and a note to everyone – Go see “Brick”.

Mike

MR. AYMAR:

A blushing pink thankyou. Very kind.

It's been a nice day; and this makes it a tot better.

Yr. pal, Harlan Ellison

An appreciation!
I am writing merely to say that I find Harlan Ellison to be one of the finest writers I have ever read. I stumbled across this site because I had just finished reading one of his books and I was interested to see what other people thought. I was compelled to leave this message...

Alone Against Tomorrow, Ellison Wonderland, Paingod, and Phoenix Without Ashes (the script itself), among his other works, are some of the best fiction I have ever read. When I read his works I walk away not only entertained but stunned by the feelings they evoke and the challenges they pose.

I am not ashamed to admit I am a geeky, stereotypical and life long science fiction fan, but I also recognize that Mr. Ellison is also much, much more than a genre writer; he is someone who cannot be placed into such a narrow category. He, and Ray Bradbury, both make me think when I read them!!! There is a poetry they both have that strikes a chord within me.

His skill with words and the imagery that they provide seems almost sorcerous. I can visualize the Ticktockman, or the Guardian of Forever. I can feel pain along with Jefty and the Discarded. His stories make me question the inconsistencies in society, and the inconsistencies in my own life as well. I have read works from various stages in his career and his forceful drive and artistry are always evident, even in his earliest works.

His work is edgy, dynamic, and it really does make you think. He is as much a stand up comic as he is a social commentator, and I cannot reveal enough about what his stories have meant to me.

I just wanted to say, "Thank you, Harlan!"

I think my shadow is someone following me, so no doubt I am one weird fuck. But, better to be weird then to be another gulled mass of flesh, searching for false meaning in some dumb, asinine movie like the Da Pinchey Loaf. That kind of weird is fine by me. Sheep shop at Wal-Mart, I on the other hand shop at the unexpected imporium of wonder.

I blame Harlan. He made me this way. hehe.

4 little syllables that strike fear in the hearts of many an otherwise manly man.

When I had my vasectomy, I had an icepack waiting for me in the car for the ride home. Kept it on the affected parts for an hour, then 30 minutes on/30 minutes off for the next few hours. Ice pack again for a couple hours the next day and all was fine. The key is ice and rest.

Guy I work with had to go to the hospital the next day because he "had to prove he was still a man" the afternoon he got home. Sweeling set in. Dummy.

Duane, that was hilarious. Same thought, but I was too slow!!!

I'm your fan for life!

....but not me
One might make the argument that undergoing the procedure would make one more appreciative of the Dave Matthews Band....

MR. BELL:

(1) When I had my procedure, the doctor was in charge of the music. Hated the Dave Matthews Band before my operation; *really* hate them now.

(B) No need for a period AND a paren when using such in-text subheads. One or the other will suffice. And there IS a need for an open-paren to pair-up with the close-paren at the end -- not many people adhere to that one, but it's correct nonetheless.

TO MR. KEENEY:

(A) I found it quite entertaining reading the final 100 or so pages of DF Wallace's INFINITE JEST while high on the painkillers provided, as one of his characters was recalling his days as a painkiller junkie, fond of the same brand I was using. Was subtly surreal.

(2) Be aware of the late-hitting jolts of pain, my man. I had my procedure on a Friday, was back to work, feeling fine, on Monday -- then on Wednesday, it came back with white-hot vengeance! The doc had warned me about that, but I chose to ignore him. Had to leave work early with "back spasms." Be sure to keep those painkillers nearby all week long...

More Info you Didn't Want to Know
Rick,

It's a little late to post this info for you, but as a public service announcement for any guy here considering a vasectomy, two pieces of advice:

1.) When you go for the procedure, bring a portable music player with the most peaceful, calming, classical or new-age woo-woo music you can get your hands on. Listen to this during the procedure, and think of England (or your country of choice.)

2.) Buy two bags of frozen peas. They're, uh, "conformal," and when one bag gets thawed from application, toss it back in the freezer and switch to the other bag. Discard when you no longer need them, unless you're on a REALLY strict food budget, but don't invite others over for dinner. ("Hey, would you like some peas with your steak? They've been lovingly rubbed against my junk, just for you!")

The day after my procedure 7 years ago, the town of Sonoma was putting on a yearly shindig on the town square called The Red and White Ball. My wife thought that her stoically-recovering husband would be okay at home, so she decided to go to the festivities and have some fun.

Whereupon I replied, "Great. You're going to the Red and White Ball... and you're leaving me here with Black and Blue Balls!"

When you have an opening like that, you gotta take it.

(And if Harlan has any amusing anecdotes about his procedure, many moons ago, I’m sure we’d all love to hear them. I seem to remember a story about a public appearance, shortly after his vasectomy, where he told the audience that “he was still bleeding,” and a shocked elderly couple got up and walked out – whereupon Harlan called out cheerily, “Good night, folks! Sorry it wasn’t what you wanted!”)

-- Jon

oww

I am recovering from some delicate microsurgery on my very most sensitive boyparts, and I can give ya'll a bit of advice that will save you a world of pain:

Pogostick competitions aside, DO NOT read ANYTHING by Augusten Burroughs while recuperating from these sensitive types of surgery. Microfibers can and will give way when subjected to the guffaw.

I was lucky. But that was a close one.

I can see you wincing, fellas.

ooh,
Rick

P.S. Fortunately, nothing funny ever happens in the Pavilion. snork >

Ellison Influences Another Writer
Author creates stories as harsh as a Minnesota winter
BY MARY ANN GROSSMANN
Book Critic, St. Paul Pioneer Press

"Although he had been writing 15-page novels and illustrated stories since he was a kid, he had never thought of writing as a career until he read Harlan Ellison's fiction and essays.

"There was something about the way Ellison was able to talk about himself in the essays and do this creative fiction that just opened a door for me," Amdahl says. "I'd always thought I was a visual artist, but writing suddenly seemed to be much more satisfying, a perfect means of expression."

http://www.twincities.com/mld/pioneerpress/14622604.htm

The Reverse Lovecraft Scam
http://www.geocities.com/steerp1ke/David_Ehi.html

Mr. Baine's lack of research reminds me of the premiere of the first "Mission Impossible" movie. A "reporter", whose name I would rather not mention, was interviewing Martin Landau about the movie. During the course of the interview, Mr. Landau brought up the television series. This ding-a-ling looked at him rather puzzedly and said, "Oh, I didn't know 'Mission Impossible was a television series."

I still remember the look on Martin Landau's face as he let her have it. He was pissed! To this day, that twit, when she was later interviewed on "Worst Red Carpet Moments" (or something like that), still doesn't understand why he got upset with her.

One thing that some so called journalists lack...the ability to research properly.

Take heed, Mr. Baine. Take heed.

Nipping a little late at the bud... In reference to the "Fingerprints" pub date: it will not be ready by May 31. The good news is it is being typeset and I have submitted the last of my additions/corrections. As this meant going through all 700 pages of the bound galley, it took me some time. I could offer up a guess as to when we can all hold it in our sweaty little hands, but Id rather not corner myself. A proof is around the corner, probably just weeks away. Harlan, Dave Hichberger and I will take it from there. In the meantime, check out the Overlook Connection website for updates. Cheers and thanks for the continued support. TR

Google news alerts
Jim, you can actually do even better with Google News. If you look under the "Top Stories" sidebar on the left, you'll see a link for "News Alerts". Click it, and you can enter search terms, say "Harlan Ellison" (in double quotes so that both words have to appear next to each other and in that order to match) and then specify if you want to be alerted when new matches are found in Google News, Google Web Search, or Google Groups. Then specify if you want an email when each new match happens, or a once-a-day or once-a-week summary.

If you would like to contact Santa Cruz Sentinel Arts reporter
Santa Cruz Sentinel Arts reporter
Wallace Baine, 831-429-2427
wbaine@santacruzsentinel.com

GEEZUS-PEEZUSS, FRANK...

You really ARE paranoid, y'weird-fuck. That was a

COM

PLI

MENT

!!!!!!!!!!

Didn't I CLEARLY say I thought the moldy cake theory was grand??

DIDN'T I?

Well, didn't I?

See a therapidt, Frank m'love. See one NOW.

Your mother and I have only your best interests at heart.

Yr. pal, Harlan

Don't blame me for the repeats, that was Wyatt. hehe.

Did Harlan just diss me? Sometimes it even goes over my head. Me being the sensitive type and all. Can't help it.

----

I'm sticking to the moldly cake theory. Better then the theory that I am some right wing creep who plays the lefty, like Punch plays Judy.

I stick my hand on the infidel's bible and spit into the wind. 666--the wind cries Mary and Jesus hasn't called in weeks.

------------

Everybody look up Cartesian common sense. We follow that rule and all will be well with the world. I won't be well, but you already know this.

--------

HARLAN

In case you don't know, if you want to periodically check online news sources for mentions of your name, go to www.news.google.com/, type in "Harlan Ellison" (with the quotation marks, otherwise you'll see articles on Ralph Ellison and Harlan Coben), click on Search News, and you'll see a comprehensive listing from the last two months or so.

And though I agree the Sentinel article short-changed you, it DOES bring up a terrific idea: why not, for your next in-store writing performance (whenever that may be), do it live over the Internet? Video and audio of you could be streamed for real-time viewing, and each page of your story, as it's completed, could be scanned and posted onto a separate screen. (I'm assuming you'd prefer to write on your Olympia, instead of a computer.) If you're concerned about piracy, you could require people, before they can access the site, to log on with a verifiable e-mail address, pay a small fee for downloading the story, "sign" an agreement, or whatever else you think will ensure your copyright is protected.

What do you think?

JOHN GREENAWALT: I was a regular on the Long John Nebel Show from 1955-1957, when I was drafted into the US Army; and though I went to Chicago when I was mustered out in 1959, I visited NYC regularly and appeared sporadically thereafter on John's show till as late as 1967, when I went to NYC from LA and promoted DANGEROUS VISIONS. We were good friends. I'm surprised you never heard me railing against the multifarious Shaverian "Lemuria" advocates, UFO nut-bags, conspiracy paranoids and other whackjobs John loved to give vent to.

SHANE OR ANYONE ELSE: If you or any other Webderlander would like to get in touch with "Wallace Baine," yet another know-next-to-nothing parvenu journalist who doesn't bother researching a story before calling someone "a pioneer of performance art"--in the Santa Cruz Sentinel--to inform said Baine that what Ms. King may do is noteworthy, it ain't THAT noteworthy, an unnamed writer of our acquaintance mentioned en passant in the article, having done it--as of the present--more than forty times, in a dozen major cities across the world.

Grr. Mmmmble. Rassssp, grumble...

Yr. Grrrrrmumblehisss, Harlan

Will HE be remembered?? (expletive)Yes!! And here's why, IMHO
I had first discovered Mssr. E when I had read "Repent Ye, says the Tick Tock Man". I had always read the credits at the end of the Twilight Zone and The Outer Limits, as a kid.

(Mind you, the Outer Limits was broadcast on TV channels that were exploring a new thing, then ... UHF broadcasting!)

I did see the Merv Griffin interview he mentions on his CD's. I became aware that this is a man that cares Passionately (yes, a capital P) about his work and the language that is his weapon of choice. Merv was, is and shall ever be, a flake of a host.

I had read that short story of his, that became a cinema vehicle for a Mr. Johnson, and an insult for a gifted actor named Daniels, who'll always be known as John Adams. I loved the story, and not very thrilled when I saw the movie.

I have known that he did write that one Star Trek episode, that became an entire book unto itself. It shall ever be a travesty, what happened to the story, and how "the great Roddenberry" bastardized it, and took it for his own. (Where is that sidewalk?) I lost the book during Hurricane Katrina, along with all else.

I remember a story that might have been attributed to Mssr. E, concerning a .45 Colt 1911a1, a meeting with an editor, and the art of field stripping a firearm. Tenacity at it's best!

I had watched some of his rants on the show SCI-FI BUZZ, with glee. Knowing of Mssr. E's artful skill of the language, and also putting myself through a home writing school, I have deigned him to be the one foil to artfully fence with a Mr. William Buckley. What a treat that might have been!

Lastly, with Mssr. E's heart operation past him, I can also see that tenacious gleam still in his eye. This is very, very much a "don't stop now" for me. I am a colorectal cancer survivor, and as such, beyond being a Vietnam veteran or a Katrina survivor, that gleam and tenacity and drive gives me an edge that others cannot conceive.

Harlan, one time you stated your personal views of spiritual belief. Well, here is a very large "Blessed Be" from a
self-avowed witch.

Live large,

Terry L. Smith

Long John Nebel Show
Fred Pohl and Lester Del Rey were on the legendary Long John Nebel Show hundreds of times. Was Harlan aware of the show, and if so, was he interested in appearing?

PAGING EZRA LB.
Like the subject line says. I would have posted in that other place, but I've lost my P/W and have no desire to go through the motions of setting up another user and/or finding said original P/W just for one post (my email addy's changed since the initial account creation).

Anyway, to Mssr. Lb., just a short note to let you know your post of May 17 (re: religious controversies/differences) didn't get lost in the jetstream, and if you'd like to discuss it further, I've got some life experiences/etc. in regards to the topic that I think you might/might not find interesting. Email me if so, ignore me at will if not. :)

To all others, sorry for your scroll-by time, and thanks!

Velvet

DID YOU GET THE PHOTOGRAPH?
HARLAN: Don't expect you to catch this till tomorrow -- or Monday, even -- just wanted to ask if you got the photograph, and see if you've gotten all the kinks worked out in the completed script you wrote with Josh. I was planning to give you a call Monday (about the fax), but if you're ironing out some kinks in the script, I'll go back to waiting mode.
--Dorman

Awwww
...but it's kind of nice to know somebody out there is even interested in carrying on the Harlan Tradition! and acknowledging where it came from too! (Not having seen a Harlan bookstore gig - didn't the first one last a whole week? in person is something I will regret for the rest of my life. It takes a younger person's stamina to do that.)

That said, the newspaper does have a lot of things mixed up. (NOVELIST???? You mean one of those hacks who write trashy books just for the money?? I mean if you say novelist instead of writer, it sort of implies hackwork...and I've seen Harlan use the word in that sense. Wait till HE calls YOU a novelist!)

Of Harlan's 1700 plus works ony three are novels, and all were written decades ago. But hey, it doesn't take less talent to write in the short form - quite likely it takes MORE. The kind of writer who can pack big time punch into fewer words is the kind that is born not made.)

As for "irascible' well it's just one more use of the Reputation thing, something HE will never get away from *sigh* Harlan, I feel for ya. Being reduced to something you did in your worst moment long and long ago that is now an urban legend must be just so...painful.

Kristin

Santa Cruz Sentinel Shows Incomplete Story Behind Ellison "Stunt"
Artist of the Year Laurie R. King makes writing a performance art
by Wallace Baine
Sentinel STAFF writer,
... "The idea was inspired, said King, by a well-known stunt by irascible novelist Harlan Ellison who wrote short stories on demand in the front window of a Southern California bookstore as a fundraiser." ...

http://www.santacruzsentinel.com/archive/2006/May/20/style/stories/01style.htm

Jan,

Recently you dramatically gave up posting in the Pavillion forever, in favor of the forums. It's always sad to see an old denizen go, and I'm happy to see you realize that some promises are made to be broken. I personally find you quite entertaining.

But in case your self-decreed exile prevented you from staying up to date on the Pavillion, there has been a recent key Pavillion post from Harlan. He has respectfully asked us to manage the exercise of our liberties in a way that avoids intentionally or unnecessarily stinking up the place.

I'm not trying to referee your little sniping session.

I'm just suggesting that you find and read the post that lays out Harlan's new mandate.

Hey DTS, common misconception, BUT, Macca wrote and sang, "Why don't we do it in the road?"

D'S POETRY CORNER
(With apologies to Dot, second cousin of mine):
"The morning was dreary, the skies overcast,
'twas time to watch toons, and break last night's fast.
But on the glass teat, a horrible sight:
anime, 'Bo-bobo,' 'Pokemon' -- all KINDS of tripe!
When it comes to good toons, (except for 'Batman'),
Saturdays, it seems, are now a barren landscape.
Fortunately for me, and my like minded spawn,
I still have 'Tiny toons' and 'Animaniacs' on tape!"

(Who but the creators of "Animaniacs" could gotten aways with writing and animating a song entitled "Schnitzel Bank"? I'm glad the censors weren't clever enough to catch that double entendre -- "Ist dis nich Ein Otto's butt? Ya dis ein Otto's butt!" Everybody, singalong!).
AH, the pleasures of a Saturday morning spent watching Rita & Runt, Slappy & Skippy, Pink & the Brain, Mindy & her dog (forgot his name), AND (most importantly), Wakko, Yakko and Dot.

CINDY: HellloooooO, Nurse! Thanks for the warm words. As for that jealous other: screw the room -- whenever we run into each other we'll take Lennon's advice and "Do It In the Road." Hope all is well with you and yours in Tejas.
--DTS (designated "Animaniacs" revivalist in Webderland)

Jan, I'm tired of posters trying to score points with Harlan by using me as an example. It's cheap and easy, and I would appreciate it, seriously, if you would limit your posts to the Pavilion about YOU and what YOU think about things, and not waste time talking about me...like you just did, AGAIN.

I would never invoke you or your opinions in an effort to get the old man riled or interested. Don't you do the same. THANK YOU.

Eric, I'm of absolutely peaceful disposition, and since the two of us haven't had an argument in years any sudden claims to the contrary border on paranoia. Nor did I say a word about what your opinion is. Even if I had, I can't see why you aren't comfortable with your own publicized views on a relatively trivial subject. Finally, please note that I am a free person and will not "kindly refrain" from using my god-given liberties. Will speak about anyone I bloody please. If that means making you unpopular with Harlan every five years or so that your name turns up in one of my messages, you better find a way to deal with it. (Find me in the forum, if you need more attention.)

Michael Berryman
Paul,

Re: Michael Berryman... When my wife and I used to live in Sonoma, CA (the town, not just the county), we'd see Michael around town at various coffee shops and restaurants, and the first time I saw him, I practically got whiplash doing a double-take. (Michael lives in Sonoma.)

FYI, he's a very nice man, quiet-spoken, and in person doesn't look nearly as scary has his various movie appearances would suggest.

I did not learn until last night--strictly by chance--that dearFrankie Thomas had died. I knew him not at all that well, save for the delicious experience of working with him on that SPERDVAC re-creation of THE MYSTERIOUS TRAVELER, "Five Miles Down," two years ago. But I thought the world of him and, I do confess, hearing of his passing, like that, so casually in the car on the way to dinner, broke me up.

Thank you, Tony, for the post. And please pass on these comments to the SPERDVAC magazine, as well as to anyone who should know that from one old space cadet to another...

I'll miss Frankie.

Sadly, Harlan

Thanks to those who sent kind thoughts toward my mother and me this week. She is back home and doing well. She was trying to get around with just the cane as soon as she got back home, but figured out it was too soon so she is back to using the walker. I got a crash course at the hospital on changing the dressings on the two insisions so have done that for her. I jsut starting reading an author named Laurie King this week. It is about a female investigater who marries Sherlock Holmes. It's pretty good stuff. Thanks again. Roger

Jan Merlin on Frankie Thomas' (aka Tom Corbett) funeral
Frankie Thomas and his TV and radio costar Jan Merlin (Cadet Roger Manning) performed with Harlan Ellison and Walter Koenig in a MYSTERIOUS TRAVELER radio recreation at the 2004 SPERDVAC Convention. With Merlin's permission, here's an open letter from Jan on the funeral of his lifelong friend, best known for his TV role as TOM CORBETT, SPACE CADET and his movie serial lead in TIM TYLER'S LUCK:

"We gathered at the grave site, a trim green lawn shaded by a large tree, at 3:00 pm...about 20 close friends and relatives, of which 14 were considered the actual invited. The elegant heavy wooden coffin was already in place over the open grave, blanketed with flowers. More flowers were hung on stands and in baskets to one side. His mother and father's graves were next to his. A white church with a clock on its steeple loomed in the background. The afternoon blazed with sunlight, and some folk sat on a row of chairs while the others stood behind them as a minister read his long bio of Frankie's career and life doings. When he had done with his summary and prayers, the guests were invited to speak any words they wished to say, and a few did. Mostly relating amusing happenings they experienced with Frankie.
Few knew he'd already had another. His original space cadet uniform had been left at the mortuary for them to dress him in it... and when the few family members had a short viewing period just before the burial time, it was
discovered that the upper part of the uniform had been put on backwards, so that he was zippered up the front, and the insignia of the Space Cadets was on his back. Of course, that mistake was hastily remedied before the coffin was brought to the site. I had to chuckle, knowing that Frank would have found it as funny as I did.
Julie stood to read the words to the Space Academy oath and the Space Cadet song... it was quite moving, for it personified all that Frankie believed and portrayed in his favorite role. She had everyone wish Frankie Spaceman's Luck together, and then the ! coffin lid was opened for the guests to place his old golf balls and photographs of his family and friends and the folded American flag once displayed at his father's funeral. I sprinkled Frankie with a handful of tiny gold metallic stars and wished him farewell under my breath... and as the folk left the coffin, I took a few pictures before the lid was reclosed.
The invited 14 departed for the Bistro Restaurant, one of Frankie's favorites, and had a fine dinner and drinks and more talk about the man they had lost. It wasn't the same without him there... I had no sense of him being with us at all. I think he stayed behind to be with his Mom and Dad.

Frankie's LATimes obit can be accessed at:
http://www.latimes.com/news/obituaries/la-me-thomas17may17,1,1997345.story?coll=la-news-obituaries

The Final Solution

Can't we just lobby to ban weird people from public places?
I mean, that Michael Berryman look-a-like keeps stealing my fries....
: )
Man, i love that guy.
p

Disclaimer: No Hypohidrotic Ectodermal Dysplasiacs were harmed in the making of this post.

Duane,
Unless you've experienced the symptoms of full blown paranoid schizo.psychoses or made a thorough clinical study of it effects on the psychotic, you CANT possibly know if that person it 100% fully, without a doubt responsible for his crazy behavior. The exception to that statement are the mentally ill who knowingly refuse to take their meds and know they're going flip out eventually but don't give a shit!

Dammit, rich, don't you understand that A-TC had an OBLIGATION to: grab the guy's laptop, smash it to pieces, slice the bastard's throat to ribbons with the jagged shards, then smear the blood from the arterial spray all over his face and torso while screaming, "HOW YOU LIKE ME NOW, PENDEJO"?

Jesus, do I have to explain EVERYTHING to you people?

(In other words: A-TC was not a pussy for handling the Gale doppleganger the way he did. If you think he was, then you need to check your head and purge your macho fantasies by signing up for a nice paintball tournament, or something.)

More nuts with your lists?
I think I knew a guy like that in University Duanne. Fortunately, he's vanished off the face of the planet.

Another thing about our Lovely List: the Vatican discontinued it in 1966. So check those publication dates. . .

I wonder who they get to sift through all this material and decide what it's risks are. Doubtless someone of outstanding moral stature, who hasn't the slightest risk of corruption.

My Psycho Story.....
Adam-Troy, I can "totally relate."

I roomed with a guy in college who would hang dozens of little Post-It notes around the house. They would say things like "someone used this fork and didn't wash it and put it away AND DON'T RIP DOWN THIS NOTE!!", and "who left the vaccuum in the hallway AND DON'T RIP DOWN THIS NOTE!!" We knew from other people who had known him that he suffered from paranoid schizophrenia, so we gave him a wide berth. A little difficult when you share the same house, but we were all busy anyway so it wasn't that big a deal.

Fast forward about five or so years (1995): I'm living here in LA, attending church at a certain congregation, when Guess Who moves in (we share the same faith). I saw him but never spoke to him except for the occasional "hi" when passing. Then one day, I started getting mysterious letters in the mail: "I know you're talking about me behind my back." "You'd better watch what you say about me or I'll have you arrested." That sort of thing. Apparently, I was not only talking about him behind his back (as if), I was also calling all the single women in the congregation and telling them not to talk to him.

I did mention that I never spoke to him except for that occasional "hi," right?

Then one day, I received the following note in the mail: "Because you continue to harrass me, I am suing you at the criminal courts building in Van Nuys on Friday the 11th at 10:30 AM." The day after that, I was served papers. Restraining Order papers.

I immediately went to my ecclesiastical leader and told him what was going on. He was a lawyer/cpa type, so he was able to hook me up with someone who would be able to represent me in court. Together we filed the appropriate papers and went to the hearing.

Long story short, the judge thought he was nuts, told him so, and dismissed the case.

Three months later, after another round of mysterious letters, he filed the claim AGAIN, this time in Downtown LA.

I went down there with the papers, along with some new ones drawn up on my behalf, and represented myself. The judge dismissed the case again.

Oh, by the way: Between the two filings, my roomates and I were throwing a house party at our house in Van Nuys. Tiki torches around the pool, high-falutin' grub, single people from the congregation as well as "industry types" who we were all friends with. Guess who shows up? That's right… Mr. Guess Who!

I happened to be away picking up some more ice when he came by, and I was told that the second he entered the room the crowd all moved away from him (they were all familiar with the story). Two of my roommates confronted him and told him he had no business being there because of what he was putting me through. He countered and told them it was "his right" to be there and he was going to call the cops if any move was made to throw him out. I'm not sure how it happened, but it was agreed that he would leave if someone would give him a ride home (he rode the bus up from the homeless shelter downtown).

That was pretty much the last I saw of him, until about 5 years later (around 2000). He showed up again, but he was in really bad shape. He had the traditional shopping cart with the garbage bags full of whatever passed for his worldly possessions, and clothes basically ripped to rags. Only I and a few friends remembered who he was, and we reckoned he was no danger to me anymore, as long as I completely ignored him. It was apparent to me that he was spoiling for another round, but no way was I going to give him so much as a sidelong glance. When he saw nothing was forthcoming, he moved on.

But believe me, I was ready to send him up the river. I made up my mind that no matter what his condition was, I would defend myself to the hilt. Christian charity? Yep, I believe in it, but not to the point where I will allow my life to be disrupted by someone who won't take his meds.

I don't care what a person's condition is. In the end, that person is responsible for everything he or she says and does (to himself or others).

Keith,
If this were about something other than some nut in a Barnes and Noble, I would probably agree with you. But this is not about standing up for what's right. It's not about protecting your loved ones. It's not about enacting justice on some idiot who decides to kick a dog. It's not even about being meek.

It's about some nut in a Barnes and Noble who's worst offense is being a goofball and pissing you off.

One is not "backing down" by ignoring the situation, or walking away. As a frequent guest on this program you know that ignoring some people that post neither diminishes you, nor makes you meek. I'm assuming you've got other things to do so when some nut posts here, you ignore it (for the most part).

Look: I'm not advocating that when you're confronted by someone or something that you "back down" as a rule of thumb, but in the incident that A-TC related I didn't see anything in there that would've necessitated A-TC doing anything other than what he did. Walking away from clear mental cases is the best course of action 'cause, you know what, getting punched in the face is NOT the worst that could happen.

And I agree with you that the nutcase in Barnes and Noble probably would've backed down himself if A-TC decided to push it. But we don't really know that. And unless you are truly willing to go all the way for something that doesn't really amount to a hill of beans (basically a dumbass was eyeballing you and mouthed off a couple of times), you should just walk away.

And to beat this dead horse even further, what would happen if YOU punched out the guy, and everything came together perfectly, and you killed the guy or caused some serious brain damage to him? Over what? Being bothered in a Barnes and Noble?

There's things to fight about, but this isn't one of them.

Jan, kindly refrain from speaking about me or my opinions in your posts here, unless I have posted something here on the Pavilion that calls for such a response. I don't need more hassle and trouble here, especially from this kind of obvious baiting.

Congratulations, Harlan, on finishing that difficult script, I think we all admire your discipline/passion more than ever!! Now it's time to sit back, relax, and let the pros rearrange the act order for maximum effect.

I hope you'll let us know when you and the producers have settled on key personnel, especially the director etc. Is the Dream Corridor movie project still on as well? (Sorry to be such a pest, but we need periodical mentions to stay happy and energetic - no details required. Eric and I have already come to different conclusions.)

Dorman and Cindy: get a room.

Dorman...Doooorman,
Admonishment? Nooo!! No admonishment here for you, my friend. Mine was merely a peal of delight at seeing your thoughts hereabouts. I have missed you.
You once sent me the most beautiful roses I have ever seen in my life for no reason other than you said you would. No self respecting Texas woman could insult a gentleman, Dorman, let alone a gentleman who is also a friend.
:)
Yer pal always,
Cindy

ADMONISHMENTS FROM BAJA OKLAHOMA
CINDY! (pant, pant)
OH, CIIIIIIINDY! (Waitaminute. You mean that _wasn't_ typed in a fit of orgasmic passion?) (Straightens tie, tucks in shirt).
Okay, CINDY, what can I say? Being admonished by a wild woman from Texas is _almost_ like having cybersex. (I need a cold shower).
--DTS (Who promises NOT to prod anyone else toward violent acts in the future).

answers
To Jeff R.:
“Mr Ellisot” never responded to the letter. Who knows if he ever even got it? I sent it to him care of one of his publishers. It is best forgotten. If I had a copy, I would be ashamed of it. If he has the original, I’d be embarrassed.

To rich:

Normally I try to NOT engage in debate here, because it’s kinda pointless. But I will clarify my intention in my post to A-TC because your post was sincere and not some doofy flamethrower attack.

The meek shall not inherit the Earth. The meek shall, in point of fact, do the following:
1. leave movie theaters when people are talking.
2. wish they had said something else to the prick.
3. buy into the consumers’ version of the American dream.
4. die many times before their actual deaths.
5. etc.

I used to be a Meek. Now I’m an Individual.

As I see it, being an Individual means standing up for myself, against other entities that do not have my best interests in mind.

Now, that being said, what is the worst that can happen if you confront a dick in a Barnes and Noble? In all probability, it is getting punched in the face. And if that is keeping you meek, you should probably get over it.

I’m all for being nice and friendly, and I have a great time. Life rarely gets violent. I find when people realize you aren’t going to back down, they re-do their own math and situations generally resolve peacefully.

-Keith

Banned books, folklore, celebrities
What a great story! Even if it isn't true!

I looove urban legends and Internet folklore. I think there is even some intrinsic value to these stories...as long as someone checks them out and makes sure they don't get confused with fact. Has anyone told the (reputable) site Snopes.com about it?

Banning SHATTERDAY and not DEATHBIRD STORIES does seem bizarre to me, as if somebody had gotten the books mixed up. "Well, there's a couple dirty ones in here that were originally printed in Playboy I think it was, but the really SACRILEGIOUS book is over HERE! Hey!"

The title story alone is enough to outrage many (this is on purpose!), plus "Bleeding Stones" (the story Duane refers to = it was the one I opened at random one day and of course found myself totally distracted, so I remember), and others.

***
As for "celebrity" and "cult of personality," yes, hero worship is dangerous, and ultimately bad for the so-called god as the worshippers, much as it may stroke one's ego. If people think an author, or film director or anyone else for that matter, is some kind of infallible deity he/she may end up believing it. This can lead to extreme hubris as no one DARES to say anything critical of a God even when they (being only human) NEED it!! Also, mistaking a human being for God sets one up for a painful let-down. I suspect that some of HE's enemies in fandom/authordom once thought Harlan was God, and when they felt that God had failed them they couldn't take it.

All of us suffer from the hero-worship impulse from time to time - it's human nature. All of us like having our ego stroked to - we can't blame a so called Famous Person for getting off on adulation. What we all need to do is keep our heads and excercise a little self-restraint from time to time.

Kristin

I don't know about the rest of you, but I think (and as a celebrity, that counts, baby, it COW-ents) Frank's explanation of the moldy cake composition of Moooooon is sweet. In the Cartman sense of the word "sweet."

By the by, my life just keeps getting better and better...

All that Opus Dei thing may be codswallop, but I just LOVE believing it's true, that I'm "proscribed," and you burn in hell if you soi much as crack open a copy of SHATTERDAY.

I >CHOOSE< to believe it, Frank; don't take this joy from me, puh-puh-puh-pleeeez!

But apart from being a 6 on the "going to hell" list, Josh and I handed in THE DISCARDED this morning, and the Producers are jumping up and down with admiration as much as we are.

Celebrity or no, let me tell you, waddies ... it is a GORGEOUS teleplay. It will dance like a baby doll. Doop doop doop doop!

Yr. pal, The Humble Celebrity,

Harlan

Ahh Frankie,
If Harlan says something about a certain subject-- then I believe there must be some truth to it-- not because of his obvious celebrity but because he doesn't spout off
if he waltzing in fog. Celebrity notwithstanding; he's not somebody who tries to bullshit or impress. If he said it- he has reason to believe it. HE is among the most
honorable souls on Earth; if he says he believes it-- I'd bet my reputation it's most likely right.
Cindy

Adam Troy,
You can't argue with crazy. You were smart to leave. I'm glad nothing else broke loose in his head before you got in your car and
put pavement between y'all.
Sigh, I'm sorry you had to deal with something like that.
Cindy


Dorman.
DORMAN!
:)
xxx OO
Cindy

Harlan,
I didn't have the opportunity to congratulate you on your recent pinnacle of achievement-- but I'd like to now. Congratulations-- I am delighted, DELIGHTED
that you were so rightly honored.

Yer pal,
Cindy

nonsense, Frank
"Harlan, being a celebrity, in your eyes, has more credibility, because of that celebrity."

I've found that Harlan Ellison is approximately as full of crap as anyone else.

However, his mistakes, his errors, his failures are well-documented to the occasional point of obsessive masochism, & therefore instructive.

And he tells a hell of a story, whether voice or print. There's still plenty of people who can appreciate a tall tale without having to believe that every poarticle is "objective reality." And my gut feeling is that those who post here are even less gullible.

I mean, thanks for thinking that most people are more delusional than you, Frank, but you're (to be polite) incorrect.

ADAM-TROY
Thanks for your response. I just think that an effort should be made to stay away from stereotyping people based on appearances. Fifty years ago we might have said "This colored guy sat down next to me...." without thinking about it. 5 years ago we might have said "This Mid-East looking guy etc." Now we are at least culturally sensitive to making such remarks.

Ted Bundy led a lot of victims to their deaths because to all outward appearances he was a good-looking, well-spoken fellow.

Just a friendly expression of my opinion, not trying to give you a hard time. Won't beat this dead horse.

Besides, the REAL Creepy Hatch Guy is Richard (You Mean I Was Supposed to Pay Taxes on the Million Bucks I Won on Survivor? Whoops!) Hatch.

Writer, Gary Indiana has a good screed on Opus Dei and on conspiracy theories as well.

http://www.villagevoice.com/news/0422,indiana,53960,1.html

--------------

I do find it funny how people seem to think that if Harlan says something about a certain subject, then there must be some truth to it, even if you first had your own personal doubts. Harlan, being a celebrity, in your eyes, has more credibility, because of that celebrity. This is all part of what is called the cult of personality, where we care more about personalizing everything, instead of engaging in our own independent thought. Just because George Clooney says the moon is made of cheese does not make it so. In fact, the moon is made of moldy cake; I thought everyone knew that. When God is really hungry, sometimes he will take a nibble. Why do you think there are so few planets in our solar system? The quantum cake theory, I call it. Keep them nobel prizes comin, I tell ya.

Sure, Harlan is a swell guy, but sometimes even he can be wrong. Not saying when he was ever wrong. I value my teeth.

Steve Barber,
Fantastic shot. Good good stuff. Those people that posted comments otherwise may be good photographers and may know what they're doing, but they're full of shit. Well, maybe not full of it, but there's at least half a cup in 'em.

Good shot.

Odd that Deathbird Stories isn't on the list, especially since D.S. contains a story that involves stone gargoyles coming to life, laying waste to a town (rather graphically, I might add), then flapping off to the Vatican, presumably to kick even more ass.

I had my doubts when I posted the link. I rarely, if ever, take information about a group from another group that presumably has "the real truth" about the organization without a large grain of rock salt.

Kinda makes me wonder if the "alex" who posted about this originally had a bit of knowledge of Excel spreadsheets and a little too much time on "his" hands.

What's Michael Ende doing on the list? What's wrong with "Momo" or "Der Endenlich Gestiche"?

According to my brother who has a degree in theology, Opus Dei has nothing to do with the Index of Banned books. That is the exclusive realm of the Doctine of Faith and Morales at the Vatican. Different office altogether.

reco m not n penced.

-he

CHRIS: Got it. Too busy to chat, but many many thanks!

STEVE BARBER: Please call. I haven't heard from the telephone guys, and I INSIST on paying them for their time and efforts, even if the exercise was fruitless. Please call, so we can get a few bucks into their pockets; they worked in my behalf with the best of intentions, and should be reconpenced.

Harlan

Harlan,

I'll see what I can do to filter out some of the...uh...white noise. I'm not sure what to do about about establishing provenance but I'll do what I can. I'm gonna have to wait till I get home this evening to do anything with it though.

I'll get this monster tackled somehow...

-Andrew

Speaking of mega-events: Now that Minicon and the Nebula/Grandmaster Awards are done we should begin thinking about Comicon (next month) and LA Con (in OC). I am planning to attend both and would love to get together with other Webderlanders who plan to venture into SoCal for the festivities.

PEG: Hopefully you've contacted someone about your visit. I'm out o town for the weekend otherwise would love to have hooked up. (One suggestion: Do not, under any circumstances, allow yourself to be talked into any practical jokes, especially if eating at one of Harlan's favorite noshes. Just ask Dima.)

HARLAN: I sent the Amazon email announcing Tim's book over to Rick if you want a copy for your purposes. (Rolling it up, f'r instance, and throttling some poor publicity wonk over their head with it.)

Off to the soggy swamps of the Big Easy early tomorrow morning. Anybody want anything (coffee from Du Monde, beads, tabasco sauce, toxic black mold)?

(Department of Spousal Promotion): Angelenos. Jazz Concert June 3rd in Hollywood. Email me if you would like details. (Rick, delete if this is out of line.)

Lastly, also for Harlan:
http://www.photosig.com/go/photos/view;jsessionid=a4pmxouB6cOgMKrriT?id=1750777

It ain't the Deathbird, but at least a cousin...

Be back Tuesday.

Foolscap dvd
Hey Harlan:
Did you get the test DVD I sent you?
It should have arrived by now.

The Grand Master on Comic Mega-Events?
Oh Great Grand Master Ellison-
As you are a past (and hopefully future) toiler in the field o' Funny Books, I'm curious as to your humble and learned opinion of these big ol' mega-events that are currently all the rage (i.e, Civil War and Infinite Crisis and 1 Year Later)? I personally miss the days when a teamup that lasted 2 issues was a big deal. I enjoy trades of Astro City and Planetary, but as a poor library drone these megas are a pain to buy at $3 per copy and upwards of $20 for the trade.

Also, any comics you just can't miss? I'm always looking for a good read. Your opinion of Planetary as both a concept (pulps take out the FF) and in practice is also humbly solicited.

Thanks and Congrats yet again-
Tally

Quote
Emerald smuggler to buyer: Are these prices firm?
Reply: Is a pig's ass pork?

Yes, there is no provenance for the list. There is no frontispiece nor any indicia page.

One would have to accept the claims of the Anti-Opus Dei Website and the claims of the "Spanish Sisters" who smuggled them the 2000 page list in EXCEL spreadsheet format.

However, if you would like the Website's front page, its additional page explaining how they acquired the list and the list pages around the area where your name is placed. That would be possible, and it might make for an amusing fancy.

However, I would love for you to see this "made-up" or "not made-up" list, just to see yourself listed next to Albert Ellis, Ralph Ellison and Richard Ellman, biographer of James Joyce.

Steve Dooner

Of Creepy Hatch Guys
Ward,


Yes, this guy would have been just as creepy if he had movie-star good looks. However, his pop-eyed, unblinking stare -- which he did as well as the actor I compared him to -- did definitely add to the overall impression. I can't help it that sometimes life provides people physically typecast for the roles they actually play, but, remember, I sat down near him willingly, not actually feeling the creep vibe until he began to exercise it.

A-TC

There is no provenance. The list is bogus. Everyone and their cat is on there, including the complete works of Marion Zimmer Bradley, Michael Crichton, and John Grisham. Faith-shatterers all. Christopher Priest is there too, with his own #6 rated tome.

It's basically pick a writer, any writer, and there they are.

Given that this is a scattershot list (as Barney noted) that, according to Opus Dei, is not a forbidden books list at all but rather a really big version of an on-line book club notes, what sort of provenance could be established?

The anti-Opus Dei people maintain that the ratings are one thing; Opus Dei says that there's no such thing as a forbidden book, the ratings do not exist in their proffered form and the list and reviews (which are available from Opus Dei itself and thus hardly classified material from the hidden vaults of Vatican City) are simply guidelines submitted by and intended for the use of members who might want guidance on what books to read and what books not to read, guidelines carrying no sanctioned or proscriptive weight.

The Catholic Church ended its forbidden books list in 1966. While Opus Dei is a marvelous organization to pin conspiracy theories to, I'd think twice before assuming that the claims of an anti-Opus Dei group are absolutely true and that a member who wants to read Shatterday has to get approval from some guy in Rome.

Love, Rudiger

ANDREW:

Wheew! I had no idea. No, I DEFINITELY DO NOT want all that garbage. What I could use, I guess, is page one--to establish provenance--and/or explanation of contents, ratings, warnings, suchlike--and a page before and a page after any listings of MY books. Is that doable?

Yr. pal, Harlan

Harlan,

FYI - Next Tuesday at 11:00 pm (EST), channel G4 will air your Star Trek "City" episode in their 2.0 format. This means there will be live on-screen chats, scrolling factoids about the episode, a Spock market, and other mumbo-jumbo. You may find it of interest to tape for your personal collection as you could be mentioned in the scrolling part.

I'm concerned now...
A-T-C, you've got me to thinking. Since i've never been approached by any whackazoids*, it leads me to ask myself, "Am i the guy that everyone is walking away from slowly?"
So, can i have the use of my ' i ' key back now?
And i'm getting tired of y'all looking at me that way. (insert cross-eyed icon here)

Rich~RE: walking away~ i wholeheartedly agree with you. On a different note, isn't it amazing what that spark will be, the one that makes people, any of us, snap? One could call my family all sorts of names (not an invitation) and i may get peeved, but essentially do nothing, under the knowledge the idgit talking is just that. However, assault my friends and loved ones and it's 'holyhell, what did i just do?' time. I knew a girl who never raised her voice, not at a soul, not to the boyfriend, not to our maggoty boss, not about the president, no one, nohow. One fine day a co-worker kicked a hump-legged dog in the parking lot, a beagle-looking thing that used to come round for treats from the picnic table lunch area. Kicked it because it was lame, that's it. This 5' 2" gal turned into a human cyclone and when the dust settled he had a broken leg. She claims to barely remember it. Weird, eh? Scary, too. Repeating Frank, such is human nature.

Alex K~ BIRTH OF A NATION is so goddamn great, it makes me wonder (since i haven't seen it yet) what similarities there are to the C.S.A.: The Confederate States of America movie. Any opinion from the gallery?

Bud W~ man, i dig the way you write. I just found you again at fictionwise. I had a bookmark about your stories way back when you let us know here at the pavilion, but i forgot all about it 'til a friend says, "Hey, you sass that Christus Destitutus by Webster? It hurts, 'cause it's that good." His name is Aaron, and he likes your stuff. Just thought i'd pay it forward. Oooh, always wanted to use those sexy catch-phrases.

Just made a pact with my significant other. We're gonna read every book on the list we can, then send the review to the odan.org contact site. Doing our part to keep everyone educated, that's us. We'll follow up with our missionary work explaining to those poor bewildered Benny Hinn followers that if they buy four $250.00 double blessed packages, that it's only $1,000 for eight times the blessings they would normally receive!!
God loves us, otherwise we'd have to pay retail.
p

*whack-a-zoids™ ~ coming soon from Mattel!!

Harlan,

I'm not sure how best to get the list to you. Properly formatted the document is 1934 pages (single sided, 11 x 8.5). Printed in triplicate you're looking at quite a door stop. I could get it to you electronically in some other format (it is currently a spreadsheet in Microsoft's Excel format). Perhaps a Microsoft Word document or Adobe acrobat? I might be able to post this as a web page (I could email the link to you).

I'm easy (and cheap too!). Just let me know what you'd like me to do.

-Andrew

Val Guest
I'm not sure if it's already been mentioned in this forum, but I just learned that Val Guest died last week. While he'll always be remembered for his QUATERMASS films and THE DAY THE EARTH CAUGHT FIRE , THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN remains my sentimental favorite.

I showed that book list to my fifteen year old son who, like me, loves to read. He laughed at a lot of the entries and then stopped, scrolled up and down and then said, "Hey, how old is this list? It doesn't even have "The Da Vinci Code" on it." That just cracked him up.

Here's an American Library Association list of the 100 most challenged books, from 1990--2000:

http://www.ala.org/ala/oif/bannedbooksweek/bbwlinks/100mostfrequently.htm

Let's not forget that the Comstock Law is still on the books. They even used this law to go after content on the internet. Being vigilent, at all times, is the only way to combat these dark forces.

-------------

The one thing that is bi-partisan is the fact that both the left and the right have both used excuses as to why certain things should be banned.

People do seem to defend the stuff that they like, but shy away from defending the stuff that they hate. Such is human nature.

The List
WoW! 3,046 pages. Do you want/need the whole thing or just the Ellison entry page? It's an Excel Doc (like I know Microsoft!) and after dusting off an old copy of Office:Mac I have this tenacled beast on my HD. Your wish, sire...

I'm blindsided in any case
I'm stunned at how many Internet sellers are offering "Fingerprints."

On Amazon, it's scheduled:
"Publisher: Overlook Connection Pr (May 31, 2006)"

But advance orders look good:
"Amazon.com Sales Rank: #84,529 in Books"

(That's something on the order of "a couple books a week for the past month.")

Well, looking forward in any case.

Wow! Harlan's book is rated "6" on the Index of Forbidden Books, which means that "Shatterday" is absolutely prohibited and that one needs permission by the Prelate of Opus Dei even to look at it.

A considerable achievement!

Another award for the Grand Master!

Steve Dooner

PS. I have downloaded the list if you need a hard copy sent

So, what exactly the hell AM I, anyway?
From my blog today (http://bud-webster.livejournal.com/), which is usually me complaining about TV commercials but sometimes about writing:

From my blog today:

The Spring 2006 issue of the SFWA BULLETIN is in hand, this one the special annual Nebula Awards issue. Doranna Durgin does a frightening (if accurate) overview of health insurance for freelancers; Bruce Holland Rogers, Leslie What and Jerry Oltion collaborate on an article about collaborating; Alexis Gilliland gleefully bemoans the changes in science that have made science-fiction largely irrelevant; Steve Carper talks about the battle between Google and the Author's Guild; and there's my column, of course, this one about science-themed anthologies.

But that's not why I'm posting here today. Well, perhaps peripherally, but certainly not primarily.

The Resnick/Malzberg Dialogue is long-running BULLETIN column featuring "debates" between two disparate, but equally experienced, writers/editors, Mike Resnick and Barry Malzberg. They choose a topic, then back-and-forth it in an attempt to clarify, prove, or disprove their central thesis.

In this issue, the subject is critics, not limited to in-field critics by any means. They decide that criticism is almost certainly an integral part of sf/fantasy, and inevitable as well, a contention that I don't necessarily agree with. But again, that's not the subject of this post.

At a recent convention, the moderator of a panel introduced me, in part, as "writer, poet, bibliographer, and critic." I was startled by this. Well, not by the first three, but by the fourth. Am I, in point of fact, a critic? The thought was a little daunting - I don't believe for a minute that I'm qualified to be a critic, I barely qualify as a reviewer. Now, it's true that I hang with critics on-line: John Clute, Mike Ashley, the inestimable Malzberg himself, and I had frequent exchanges both on-line and through the mails with Damon Knight. But me, a critic?

So, while digesting my lunch this afternoon in the aftermath of this issue's Dialogue, I considered my position vis-a-vis the field of sf/fantasy, trying to determine just what my purpose was in writing the kinds of things I write about the genre.

I am, I decided, a tour guide. I walk my readers through the halls of sf, pointing out the interesting bits and describing their relative importance. I take people into the side-rooms where odd-ball things are stored, trying to show how, in the full schema, they all fit together into a gestalt. Sometimes, I lower my voice and whisper some iota of gossip about some book or person or painting just to hear the tourists gasp and/or laugh, then say in my normal voice, "So we're walking, we're walking..." and go on to the next exhibit.

In every case, my intent is to inform; in every case, I want my tourists to walk away enlightened - and entertained. After all, they could always go to another museum, another historic site, another alligator farm.

So, whereas I am frequently critical of sf and fantasy, I do not consider myself anything other than a purveyor of facts, some speculations, and maps to the stars' homes.

Sometimes, I even get to drive the bus and use the microphone.

???

That's got to be the broadest "banned" list I have ever seen.
60,542 entries? I see it's value rated [now that it's finally open] but EVERYTHING by Willa Cather and F. Scott Fitzgerald and Gerald Durrell for that matter?

THE GREAT GATSBY gets a 4? C'mon!

And look at the Twain. Diary of Eve is listed but NOT Diary of Adam? Tom Sawyer? NOBODY bans Tom Sawyer. Random silliness.

- Barney

THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!!!


_Shatterday_ is on the forbidden list, but not _Deathbird Stories_?!

Not _Slippage_ (for "The Man Who Rowed Christopher Columbus...")??!!

Not _Sex Gang_???!!!

They just don't make censors like they used to (grumble, mumble).

(And why, do you suppose, _Shatterday_ made it. . . ?)

I spent about 15 minutes looking around and can't find a suitable link. TONS of Opus Dei stuff but no lists of books banned by the organization. Then I tackled it by looking for lists of banned books with SHATTERDAY on it. Occasional pages with "tag clouds" mentioning SHATTERDAY, Harlan and banned books on the same page BUT not associated with one another. Also pages listing SHATTERDAY and books about banned books, but again, no associative link. So I'm giving up. Perhaps Doug or someone else may have more luck. 15 minutes [plus the time wasted typing this] is all anonymous posters get from me today.

- Barney

ps (my apologies)
Shatterday is rated "6."

6!!
In case anyone's interested, the link is:

http://www.odan.org/Index_forbidden_books_spreadsheet.xls

Be aware; it's a 7MB download.

The telling thing is, the banned books are rated on a scale of 1-6, with 6 being the most prohibited. In order to read this tome, you must have permission of the Prelate of Opus Dei. He's in Rome, by the way.

The "Alex" who posted that SHATTERDAY appears on the Opus Dei list of banned books is not Alex Krislov, whom we called because we couldn't download said list and wanted a color copy (in triplicate) for our files, and to notify LOCUS. So Alex K. said it wasn't he; and though we can access the Opus Dei website, we don't have the proper software programme to get the full list.

Can someone help us?

We'll pay the postage time/trouble for 3 copies mailed to us at HERC.

Thank you. Harlan

"I'M FUCKIN' EVERYWHERE, YOU MYOPIC HICK! THE WORLD IS LOTS BIGGER THAN ANALOG OR TOR OR EVEN PARTISAN REVIEW!"

Yes, you are. And this is one of the Ellison virtues that attracted me so strongly to you work even early on. I didn't just find you in the SFzines. I found you in "New Worlds." I found you in the "L.A. Freep." I found you in comics -- overground and underground alike. I found you in all the places I couldn't get SF fans to talk about. Very frustrating.

Kyle Baker, an artist from whom I have unreasonable and unreasoning admiration, is in the same position. He does tons of work outside the comic-book field--and when he's doing it, people in comix fandom assume he's "not working." They don't know about the graphic novel he did with the creator of "Boondocks," much less his "New Yorker" and "Esquire" work.

And now my younger daughter is experiencing the frustration I used to confront, as her friends turn up their noses at her off-the-beaten-path reading tastes. "I know it's not much consolation," I tell her, "But someday you'll get to say, 'I told you so.'"

CREEPY HATCH GUY/ADAM TROY'S COMMENTS
So you were creeped out by a guy who looks like the Hatch guy in Lost? By the way, he is played by the actor Michael Emerson, who won an Emmy for portraying a psycho killer in the tv drama The Practice. Would you have felt more at ease and charmed if he looked like George Clooney? Isn't it his behavior that's at issue here, not his looks? (I don't even know if his character is a villain in Lost. He was obviously hired to LOOK like a villain, fitting all the stereotyped facial requirements of our culture.)

Dorman and Keith,
Take it easy there, big fellas. Other than blowing his top, which is perfectly understandable, A-TC handled the situation pretty well.

Get up and leave. Done and done. Inform the store manager, and chalk up the frustrating experience as another in a long line of frustrating experiences. Such is life.

There's no need to get judo or boxing lessons, and certainly no need to do so in response to this ONE incident. There's no way to tell if the guy A-TC ran into is "easy" to handle or not, and anyone telling A-TC this is full of shit. (Sorry Dorman.)

Just walk away, is how you handle these types of people. Rarely, RARELY will the encounters become violent, and in almost all cases where they do, it's because someone didn't walk away. This isn't a video game, you're not Jason Bourne, and machismo doesn't cut it with the courts when you get sued and/or arrested.

STEVE BARBER:

That pub date is bullshit.

I haven't even seen page proofs.

Harlan

What is it about coffee shops?
I had an almost identicle experience Mr. Castro, about two years ago. Though without the computers.

One of my first assignments at J-School was to go someplace and write about it. So I sat in a Tim Horton's coffee shop for about twenty minutes watching the clock, the cashiers, the crowds. And some guy sitting beside me pipes up and snaps

"Hey! What are you staring at everything for? I could sue you for harassment!"

Well, that certainly got my attention. He looked sort of like someone I knew, so I might have given him a look earlier, but I was hardly staring at him or doing anything out of the ordinary.
So I says to him "Dude, don't flatter yourself. You're not that interesting." and gave him a big bug eyed look before I left.

Our society is so paranoid, if you dare to look at someone for more than five seconds, they will likely attack you. Reminds me of another time. . .

Speaking of paranoia, how about those churches?

Borges article
Fellow Borges fans, visit the NY Times website and enjoy the lovely article in the Travel Section titled: "Borges Buenos Aires: A City Populated by a Native Son's Imagination".
Cheers,
Colleen

To Adam-Troy Castro
Man, that guy had your number.

I used to be a lot more passive in situations similar to that, but let me tell you this. After being hit in the face one time, you become numb to all pain. After that, it's all fun. The only thing you have to lose is some dignity and maybe the fight.

So I suggest boxing lessons (or judo), for use in those situations where a punch is more appropriate than invective.

-Keith

TIM'S BOOK IS HERE
(profound apologies for the second post, but just got this in my email):
As someone who has purchased books by Harlan Ellison, you might like to know that Fingerprints on the Sky the Authorized Harlan Ellison Bibliography: The Fully Illustrated Reader's Guide will be released soon. You can pre-order your copy by following the link below.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fingerprints on the Sky
the Authorized Harlan Ellison Bibliography: The Fully Illustrated Reader's Guide
Tim Richmond, Harlan Ellison
Price: $59.95

(May 31, 2006)


WOOHOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Congrats TIM!

Susan - Are these to be available through HERC or should we scoop 'em up at Amazon???

Response to Edward Brock
Well, Edward I don't know how intelligent this will be but I WAS raised in the Church and spent the majority of my youth in it. I have spent the majority of my adulthood out of it and would accept the classification as an ex-Christian. So I have a certain perspective anyway.

Historically the Christian Church (in all but a few fringe denominations) has enjoyed a state of cultural and political privilege in this country. Over the last few decades, for reasons too involved to go into here, the Church has seen its condition of privilege diminish. It lately finds itself having to compete in the metaphorical "marketplace of ideas".

The Church naturally finds this disturbing, threatening. It's not used to NOT being first in line. The Church interprets any criticism as persecution as it has been conditioned to do (see the New Testament). The Church expects to be persecuted, it revels in an absolute state of self-identified victimhood. And as goofy paradoxical as it must seem, the Church interprets persecution as confirmation. It defines victimhood as justification for a full frontal attack.

The Church has decided that since it cannot convince people by persuasion, it will use the coercive power available through culture and politics to keep firm its slipping grasp.

A short while back a gentlemen named SAM HARRIS wrote a book called THE END OF FAITH. Unfortunately he included some discussion in this book that became quite controversial and in my opinion overshadowed what I considered his main thesis. He simply asked the question, "Why should religious speech be considered privileged, and not subject to the same argument and critique as any other form of speech?"

Even now there are people, many completely secular, who walk tip-toed on eggshells when they talk about religion. It is still considered taboo in "polite society" to criticize. Having seen the beast, both guts and hide, I am somewhat immune to this.

Not that there are not good people in the Church. But I think if you do a survey you'll find, for every Thomas Merton or Martin Luther King, there are fifty Jerry Falwells and Pat Robertsons.

Censorship is always wrong, but just as artist has the right to produce whatever the Muses bestow, so the audience has the right to respsond as they will. Sooo... In my opinion THE DA VINCI CODE is a zircon encrusted turd. Post-literate would be a compliment.

As for the Church, well I voted with my feet.

Mr Castro: You hit upon the one thing about those folks that annoys me no end -- 'I' am the one who usually looks like the nutcase. The "fringies" (meaning they're mentally on the fringe -- of what I don't know) give me the heebie jeebies as well, and there's usually nothing that can be done save moving on. I would have, more forcibly perhaps, made the manager aware of it and turned the tables on Mr. Nutso earlier in the conversation.

Rest assured that your newfound friend likely has the intellectual firepower of a baked potato with chives -- and is probably annoying (or freaking out) someone else over their morning cup o joe. If he's there next time you visit, sit far away and let the manager know he's harrassed you in the past (just in case).

And, on behalf of the company that's probably his cellphone provider, tell him he needs to focus the camera a bit better next time...

I need to vent. And before anyone thinks I am picking on them or their religion, I respect ALL beliefs & think everyone has the right to believe or not believe in whatever they choose, unlike organized religions. But sometimes the actions of various "groups" within a religion can give the rest of us a nasty headache and give that particular religion a black eye. Which brings us to "The Da Vinci Code".

What annoys me most about organized religion is this type of idiotic response to anything that is in disagreement with their specific views. And don't forget, "The Da Vinci Code" is FICTION!!! What's next, the Church retroactively attacking Harlan for "Deathbird Stories"?

But it happens all the time (and it seems to be happening more & more lately, I wonder why?). I remember being eager to see "The Chronicles Of Narnia" last year, but when various Christian groups began using it as a political tool, I lost all interest & have yet to see it. They took the all the joy & wonder out of it. I had similar feelings concerning "The Passion of The Christ". The film seemed to be nothing more that than an marketing scheme aimed at spreading the "faith" (which is interesting in itself considering the film focused on Christ's suffering, not his message).

"The Da Vinci Code" protests (and they are spreading around the world) are, in my opinion, just another excuse for religious organizations to insert themselves into the political arena & attempt to "convert" those of us who prefer to think for themselves (or worse yet, keep control of those who don't). And it's not just Christians. Scientology had a fit when "South Park" did a parody of them (an episode that lead to Isaac Hayes, a Scientologist himself, leaving the show after 10 years). And lest we forget the Muslim reaction to a Danish newspaper cartoon.

I know this is post is likely to start a spirited debate/discussion, but the main reason I feel comfortable posting here (as opposed to other boards) is there are intelligent people involved. I would love to hear what Harlan (& everyone else on the board) thinks about the protests, boycotts & attempts to censor the film or the general subject of religion in media.

Castro, always carry Mace. Or any brand of pepper spray. Go to a good sports store, the kind that supplies hunters, and get a canister rated for bear repellent. Those are the best because they project a wider cone and are good for almost thirty feet, giving you a lot of power at close range.

Then when some dipshit takes your picture, give him a faceful of the stuff. It won't kill him, but he'll be on the floor gasping and screeching for at least ten minutes, during which time you take the camera and calmly leave...don't run, don't look anyone in the eye, just walk out.

NUTBAGS
ADAM-TROY: The guys that usually piss me off are actually closer to sane by society's standards: the idiots that cut in front of you with no signal (or only a mili-second's worth), that feel obligated to let anyone standing near them know they are manly by acting or talking like a juvenilistic assholes, or the juvenile-on-the-cusp-of-"adulthood" assholes that feel the need to compensate for their own insecurities or fucked-up homelife by walking in the middle of a street with their buddies or driving around in a car, blasting music loud enough to vibrate walls inside a home. THOSE are the assholes/nutbags that make my teeth hurt.

The sort of guy you ran into is _easy_ to handle. If a "next time" ever occurs, as soon as Mr. Crazy makes a remark, nod at him and start whispering into the face of your watch. When he taps on his keyboard, you tap on yours. Smile enigmatically. If he says he's going to contact the police about you, say, "Who do you think set up the surveillance, cubby?" Look at total strangers passing by, or off in the distance. and nod at them (or make a hand signal). Doing stuff like this will drive the fucker away, cause HE'LL freak out! (On the off-chance that he DOES come at you with physical intent, take him out by using the point of your shoes to crack his shins and/or gonads; then stiffhand his solarplexus and send a haymaker or two toward his jaw/nose/ears/throat/etc -- that should cure him of assaulting strangers).
--DTS

ATC -- I too have been creeped out by the squatters at Border's. I stop by often on my lunch hour to get a magazine or browse the racks, and have noticed that the same group is usually there in the coffee shop, with a stack of books and newspapers (which they grease up and mash, rendering them unbuyable, to my great annoyance). One time one of them was making a great show of yammering on his cell phone to Michael Eisner, constantly repeating things like "But Michael," and "I don't think so, Mr. Eisner." Others pretend to be looking for jobs.

I don't know why the stores put up with them, mangling the product and scaring the straights, just because they're slurping on the same cup of coffee for three hours. It's becoming the new public library...go THERE if you really want to play spot the loony.

There Are Nutbags Out There
So a slight technical problem, since corrected by my far savvier wife, disabled my internet connection yesterday, requiring a trip to Borders, since I absolutely did need access to e-mail that AM.

And there was only one outlet available, being used in part by a guy who looked exactly like Henry Gale (the Hatch prisoner from LOST).

I plugged in my own laptop and started working.

After about fifteen minutes, the guy turned around and said to me, "You know, it's against the law to mess with somebody else's machine."

I said, "Huh? What are you talking about? I'm minding my own business here."

"SURE you are."

So I turned my attention back to the screen and continued working.

About forty minutes later the fucker took out his camera phone and took a picture of me.

I let this lie for about a minute, then started unplugging my computer to get the hell out of there. He reared back, as if unplugging my computer (from the same outlet as his) constituted an attack on his fiefdom.

I said: "You know what? You are waaaaaay too creepy to be working this close to."

He said, "You keep talking to me."

I started walking awaay, but my anger was bubbling over. "I haven't said a single goddamn word to you, you stupid worthless piece of shit. I don't give a damn what you're doing. I'm just trying to work here."

He informed me that he had taken my picture so the police could track me down in a couple of days.

He also demanded to know how long I had lived in Miami, because I didn't know how people acted here.

"I'm sorry," I said, "I didn't know you bought the deed to this store and controlled who was allowed to share the coffee shop with you."

He toldme that I had been harassing him for an hour and that if I kept pushing this we would finish this outside.

I called him delusional, wished him an early demise, added a fuck you for lagniappe, and prepared to leave. As I left I told a store manager about him, knowing that my anger hadn't made me come off any better. (To observers, I probably came off as the crazy one. After all, I erupted in rage. He was more of the creepy, disconcerting-stare kind of nutbag.)

Of course, the shithead followed me to my car, and stood there glaring as I drove off. I had my own phone out, ready for a call to 911, if he continued to follow me. He didn't, though.

But still, shit. How much of that does it take to ruin your whole day?

Except for the fact that I, ROBOT was a collection of stories, so isn't that a non-novelistic structural property right there?

The silly comparison of Tristram Shandy, one of the weirdest, most playful novels on record, to the screenplay of I, Robot is a bit of a howler.

Tristram Shandy's 'non-novelistic' stylistic and structural modes are the product of a bright writer playing games with the novelistic norms of his time (which, in the early 18th century, tended to be a lot of bildungsromans and a lot of epistolary novels, along with a rising popular press feeding the reading jones of a growing middle class that liked novels, encyclopedias, popular science and travel books).

I, Robot's non-novelistic stylistic and structural modes are the product of a writer writing a screenplay.

These are not comparable enterprises when it comes to the idea of works that purposefully and productively 'challenge' the conventional novel.

Love, Rudiger

Why Tha-ann-kee Un-ka Harlem!
"mah bruthuh by a negroid muthuh"?

not approved by weirdos
I was looking at Opus Dei's banned-books list. Harlan Ellison's "Shatterday" is on it.

THE PHOTO'S ON THE WAY
HARLAN: Regular mail it is. After finding the photo, I remembered how frantically you were searching for info months back -- last, maybe -- about the furnaces, and thought you might need it posthaste. Happy to send it via the regular route; in fact I'll be able to drop it off in the mail tomorrow morning, since the local P.O. has one of those computerized gizmos in their lobby. Hope it's what you need for your story.

Best to you and Susan,

Dorman

DORMAN, my old friend:

Don't be ridiculous. Do NOT spend that kind of money to send me the picture. Regular 39 cent US Post will get it to me in plenty of time.

Please.

-he

THE PICTURE
HARLAN: It was taken with digital camera, but since you and Susan don't have an email (so I can send it electronically), I'll just print off a copy tonight and overnight it to you via the US Postal system. I'll get it out no later than 2pm (my time, 12 noon yours) and you'll have it no later than Friday (ideally, it'll arrive at your doorstep thursday afternoon -- but I've had one or two instances where it took 'em an extra day --at least they give me my money back). I'll drop a note saying it's in the mail on this board after returning from the post office tomorrow.
--Dorman

More Brilliant Casting
Chris Tucker as the lead in "I Have No Mouth And I Must Scream." Mostly because I want to see his mouth sealed. I would buy that ticket.

You're, not your. Idiot me.

Well, Harlan, the shit better be good, that's all I can say. Because your not being graded on a curve this time fella.

Did I mention, U da man. Worried he might slap me.

------------

Ok, did this, Central Park is going to become the first of many public parks to offer free internet hookups. Aint that swell. A bunch of geeks twidding away on their stupid computers, especially insipid are those forum freaks, who post their inanities, thinking that the world should read every brain dead screed they belch out from their think pansss...ah, oh....ummm..........aaahhhurrr...Wellll....

I think I'll be going now. My pet dragon needs a sitz bath.

DORMAN: LEMME SEE D'PICTURE. Lemme see!!! Lemme see!!!

UTLEY: Goddam if that ain't BRILLIANT casting. I mean, right on the button. I only LOVE it! I KNEW there was a reason we were friends. Gawd, you're good.

Yr. pal, Harlan

NOTE TO HISTORIANS:

It is 3:50 PM, Los Angeles time, Tuesday 16 May 2006, and in the words of mah bruthuh by a negroid muthuh, "Free at last, free at last, thankgawda'mighty, I am free. At. Last."

The third pass of my and Josh Olson's script for THE DISCARDED went out the door with Josh half an hour ago. He will revise acts 4 and 5 (which are actually acts 5 and 6, since nowadays it ain't four acts and a teaser or tag, but FIVE acts plus a teaser or tag) in accordance and commensurability with my vastly rewritten (GOT THAT, OLSON, YOU 6'4" GOLEM -- VASTLY I SAY: VAS-UHT-LEE REWRITTEN) restructuring, resodding, replotting, replanting, and general allaround brilliant re-re-
beautification of Olson's slapdash, cringe-inducing first pass.

(It is only, as Josh has pointed out, my VAST humility that has held me back all these years from the stardom I so richly deserve.)

Now, as I say, Olson will tweak up the last 2 acts, bring the integrated script back tomorrow afternoon, we will siddown and I'll re-rodomontade Samswope's Falstaffian verbiage, Josh'll pc print-it-out one last time; and it'll be in the hands of Keith Addid, producer of MASTERS OF SCIENCE FICTION, by Thursday morn.

It will be the sixth of the initial shows to be shot up in Vancouver, and when all six are in the can, Keith and ABC will pick which of the sextet is most terrific enough to be the first one scheduled on-air in the Fall.

We have high hopes.

For myself, and take note, Eric, sometimes one writes what one writes to please no one but oneself, and beloved though aficianados of one's work may be, it might be suggested by one that the reader is oftentimes a bit tunnel-visioned, seeing and considering "serious" only that work offered in mediums to which the rustic aficionado is privvy. Oftimes, when I was writing something like I,ROBOT (a novel by other than traditional narrative means, as was TRISTRAM SHANDY and NAKED LUNCH and the Rockwell Kent "novels" done entirely as etchings), the well-meaning, or sometimes NOT so well-meaning, but blindered readers of sf magazines would begin to wail, "Whatever happened to Harlan Ellison?" "Why did Harlan Ellison stop writing?" To which I always WANTED to retort, but never did, for fear of being considered impolite:

I'M FUCKIN' EVERYWHERE, YOU MYOPIC HICK! THE WORLD IS LOTS BIGGER THAN ANALOG OR TOR OR EVEN PARTISAN REVIEW!

But I never said that, nor would I, because one loves you all, one really truly does. MMMMMMMmmm. Kiss kiss.

Yr. pal,

Satisfied with a GOOD stick'a writing done,

Harlan Ellison
Fuckin' Grand Master, and don'chu ferget it.

Dan Simmons

Ya'll want more good readin' why not haul ass over ta that fella Simmonses place and have a gander.

dubya-dubya-dubya-dot-dan-simmons-dot-com

Goes fer you too Church.

Rick

P.S. Shore wish Cindy would come back.

Filming
Ooh! ooh! I've figured out how to bring Harlan's "unfilmable" story to the screen! All it needs is star power! Pauly Shore IS the Harlequin! Arnold Schwarzenegger IS the Ticktockman! And, making her dramatic debut -- Paris Hilton as Pretty Alice, the woman who loves them both!

Treatment to follow.

No Sweat Harlan
HARLAN: If my guesses helped out, terrific. Regarding the fax: sent it so you could take a look _after_ you were finished with the script -- not before. That way, you wouldn't have to call me back wondering what it was I was going to ask about. By the way: remember your calling me about coal-burning furnaces some months ago? I've got a photo of what I _think_ is the door to one of those old coal-burning furnaces (the picture was taken in the basement of the old Elms Hotel in Excelsior Springs, where Truman, Capone and a host of others once roomed). That was what I was calling about in...late Jan, early/mid Feb (I think). My phone-call timing was off then, too, as it turned out to be a bad time to talk.
In any case, I'm not one hundred percent certain that door (with markings, brand, date visible) IS from a coal-burning furnance -- someone else thought it was from a boiler. I'm gonna try (again) with some locals in Excelsior, and with some folks at KC libraries, to see if I can get a definite yes or no answer as to whether or not the door (the only thing left from a fire that burned down the first incarnation of the hotel in 1912) was from a coal-burning furnace. I'll see if I can have that info next time schedules permit us to talk.
--Dorman

Thank you all.

DTS: It got here, your fax, but I haven't even read it. I'm too busy to be distracted, which is why I asked you to call me another day ... and then you sent the fax, anyway. I'll get to it as soon as I'm done writing the script. No sooner.

Harlan

Posts and Spears
First, Roger and Chuck -- Best wishes for your post- and pre-surgical patients. May their recovery be short and effective.

HARLAN: According to at least three wrought iron companies, there are two elements to what you describe (confirming what has been alluded to below). The finial is the decorative pointy or round thing at the top of a spear. If you need attribution (which I doubt) I can provide the sites.

ANOTHER POSSIBLE ANSWER TO HARLAN'S QUESTION
HARLAN: I was gonna chime in with finial spire (echoing Siano's answer), or...Cotswold Obelisk. If I guessed right, and you wanna hand out a prize, how about answering my faxed question about obtaining reprint rights as soon as time permits (before next Tuesday would be reaaally cool). If I guessed wrong, never mind.
DTS (Lone Wolf extraordinare, and NOT a flying blue monkey)

Harlan's question
Harlan, the best words I can find on this are either "picket," "vertical post" or "fence pole." "Picket" refers specifically to the pointed kind of vertical pole, but modern-day manufacturers refer to the vertical posts as, well, posts or poles.

There is a design called a "scalloped picket," in which the pickets aren't just straight: they have ornate designs in the "middle." This may be what you're after. Have a look at http://www.belcour.net/architectural_works/related/AR1-102.html for an example.

Also, when there are spiral curls installed at the corners, that's called "scrollwork." You can find some pictures at http://www.chicora.org/cemetery_fences.htm

HOWEVAH, the shape at the top of a fence pole is called the _finial_. And even then, the names change according to the shape: spear-tips are called "spears," "spearheads," "points," and "lances," roses are "rosettes," etc.

sleep and other pointy things...
- Harlan: The iron work you're describing could be any number of things - depending on what it's used for. It could be a tower for feeding birds (there are some spikey looking ones on the market), it could be the remnants of a pillar or trellis, it could even be a weather vane. Odds are, if it has more than one plane, that it is wrought iron obelisk. Finials are the caps on the posts or other places used for decoration. I hope that was some help.

As for that other sharp thing - sleep. I have to aggree with some of the other posts, I get some of my best work done when the world is quiet. Don't know why - just do. Also, when I write, my perception of time disappears. I often look up from a project - after coming to a natural pause - and notice that several hours have slipped stealthily by. ( Those sneaky buggers )

Until next time,
Tess

Hmmmm...
Harlan:

A 'standard', possibly--just looking through the thesaurus under 'stake'.

Also, there's a nice interview with Walter Koenig on The Babylon Podcast at: http://www.babylonpodcast.com/.

Hope you and Susan are doing well.

"finials"
..are what the spearheads (fleurs de lis, globes, diamonds, etc.) are generally called.

Oh, crud, I'm slow, let me get G00gle...

A-hah -- a spearhead-shape that's made up of two pieces welded together to produce a four-bladed spear-type shape is called a "welded quad finial." Apparently the little knob often put on the point is a "safety ball." Huh; live & learn.

A Garden Stake?

Tony:

A picket would be part of a fence. I believe the iron bar in this case is called a garden stake. (I'm far from an expert, however.)

----------------------------------------

TWO THANK-YOUS

Barney, thanks for recounting your Nebula experience, although it did nothing to assuage my Hulk-green envy. In the last year, because of an unusually heartfelt obligation to an employer, I seem to have missed a number of fun, Harlan-centric get-togethers, an observation made all the worse by the fact that I can finally afford to travel after years of relative penury. Nevertheless, I'd rather read the Webderlander accounts of tale-telling and hale-posters-well-met than feel as though such events never occur. I CAN feel a scintilla of vicarious enjoyment, despite the circumstances.

And, Paul, thanks very much for your moving anecdote. I've saved a hard copy of it.

D.

"pickets"?
Oh, crap, it'll take me hours to shake the cobwebs off that part of my brain...

I vaguely recall something about a certain style being called "arrow-&-border" but for the life of me I couldn't sketch one right now.

And all next week I'll be haunted by the memories...

HARLAN TO FLYING BLUE MONKEYS ------- HELP NEEDED!!!

OR JOSH, IF YOU'RE READING THIS.

I need a specific term of nomenclature. Not common everyday info, but probably known by one or more of you. I hope.

Picture, if you will, one of those old rundown Ruined Victorian Gardens overgrown with weeds and vines and choked with remnants of wrought iron garden furniture.

Picture one of those long, rusted, wrought-iron rods with the spear-tip, like the tine of a spiked fence, jutting out of the ground at a rakish angle, and the shaft festooned with those art-nouveau curlicues of wrought iron halfway down the long, spearlike shaft. Vines climb and entwine, like a trellis, up the wrought iron rod.

To gardeners or students of Victorian tschotchkes ... what is the one/or two-word term for the long wrought iron rod???????

Please help. It's for the end of Act Three, beginning of Act Four.

Harlan

Question for Harlan
Have you ever been jealous of another writer?

Ermm...HER surgery. Damn.

Sheepishly,

Chuck

Roger Gjovig,

Glad to hear your mother went throught his surgery okay. My dad's going in for back surgery tomorrow afternoon. He's going to be 74 on the 28th, and so I'm a little nervous.

By the by, the 27th of this month is the 3 year anniversary of my heart attack.

Still ticking,
Chuck

P.S. can we not play hop-on-Eric here? There's a mud-wrestling ring at the Other Place if you want to go a few rounds. He's not as easy as he looks, believe me.

Moms, Sleep, and Mutants
Benjamin: I would recommend that cover, except that it would probably be mistaken for the latest Webderlander group get together.

*Da Dum DISHHHHH*

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Roger: Hope your mom gets better soon. I know its kind of a Cliche, but I will keep her in my prayers.

Everyone else: RE: Should Harlan sleep?

Well, much as I hate to say it, I vote no. As a long time proponent of writing very late at night, I can tell you that what I have written is about three times as good as the stuff I do at normal hours (yes, it's going from super sucky writing to just sucky writing , but that’s still better) There is something about the combination of exhaustion, uninterrupted working, and that late night mystical feeling that makes writing work better. Of course, if you push it too far you stop writing well, and just start thinking you are writing well. This is usually hilarious. However, all evidence points to Harlan being at ever greater genius as he gets more tired...so I say keep 'em awake, even if you have to poke him with sticks.

Actually, scratch that last one. Poking Harlan with sticks when he is well rested is a stupid idea. Poking him with sticks when he is tired is suicidal.

Personally, I'm waiting for the publicity still pasted on the cover of FANGORIA or STARLOG with Harlan standing at the front of the DISCARDED cast, every actor & actress behind him fully decked in mutant makeup.

...well, I know I'D pick it off the shelf....

I was up at 5 AM this morning to have my mother at the hospital by 6 AM for her surgery. It went very well and was much quicker and less invasive this time. They start therapy tomorrow and I should be able to bring her home Wednesday. I'll be up early tomorrow morning also. I'll be working for Habitat for Humanity tommorow as a volunteer from my church in helping clean up and restore three homes side by side that need help to bring them to livable condition again. It should be hard work but very important to make an effort to help however I can. I am crashing for the night now. I have no idea how Harlan can be up so early day after day to work on his writing. Roger

Frank,

There are two things you should not do:

1) Please do not encourage Harlan to sleep. He hasn’t slept all week, and the pages he’s producing are magnificent. If we can ensure that these cats faithfully translate this script to the screen, you will see an hour of TV that truly and faithfully captures the very real art of Harlan Ellison. The guy calls me up and reads scenes to me, and it’s to weep; it truly is. Every character has a voice that is unique to him or herself, and yet rings with the soul of Ellison. Cliche’s are non-existent, and compromise is run over with a steam roller. A year ago, I told people that working with Cronenberg was as satisfying a creative experience as I could imagine, but working with Harlan to bring his unique and brilliant vision to your TV set blows that one out of the water. He’s at the top of his game, and the more exhausted he gets, the better it is. DO NOT ENCOURAGE HIM TO SLEEP. He doesn’t need it, anyway. Just feed him a Christian baby every night at midnight, and he’s good to go for another 24 hours.

2) It might be a bit late in the game to encourage humility on Harlan.

I’m just sayin’....

Keeney, Chelsea sounds like a wise young girl. Harlan usually scares all the bats, even the ones in Vlad's belfry, so her father must be guiding her into unexpected and cultured terrain.

------------

Eric, go into the other forum and post some of your award winning writing. Shit, I gotta see this.

Some poetry perhaps, about how you lost your socks. hehe.

----------

Harlan, we keep telling you to get some sleep and you just don't listen. Don't worry, we are at the cool end of the pool. All is well.

Susan, tuck him in, and tell him the story about the famous writer who stayed humble, even in the face of unending praise.

Fiction can be a real balm, to a sleepy man of letters--valentines to the firegod.

Walken rabid
Robert Morales et al~ There is a double CD called CLOSED ON ACCOUNT OF RABIES (lovely 20th century grammar that). Some same info on that site is in the liner notes and it is a joy if you are one of those spoken word buffs who clean house, vacuming and dusting, moving furniture about, installing carpet, grouting tile or scouring bathtubs...happy chores aided by background amusements. A collection of readings of Poe's work by interesting people ( Iggy Pop, Dr. John, and Gabriel Byrne are there, and THE BLACK CAT read by Diamond Galas is not to be missed), it also features some poems spoken and some set to music. ULAUME by Jeff Buckley a lovely romance cum bleak madness and THE CONQUEROR WORM by Ken Nordine is The Last Word In - well, the last word, period. It is a splendid listen, worth every penny. And admit it, how many times have you sat with friends and loved ones and said, "Man! When am i going to be able to find a copy of Christopher Walken doing THE RAVEN? When!?"

Speaking of, it's too bad Walken isn't making a bid for Decider of the USA . http://www.walkenforpres.com/. Love those hoax sites.
O'course, clearing Shrubland does make for a more fertile valley. What with Gingrich pretending like he's got a shot and Hillary's meteoric fall, Walken certainly couldn't hurt none.
p

top three


Harlan lamented:

"...when schoolkids don't know my name..."

Harlan, you met my daughter Chelsea. I went to her webpage today. She has posted photos of three authors. Ray Bradbury (her favorite), Daniel Pinkwater, and you. A big fat picture of Harlan Ellison, one of her top three favorite writers.

She's fifteen. When you met her you immediately endeared yourself to her saying that her name was a bit "poncy." She's reading TROUBLEMAKERS and so far no one has accused me of child abuse.

Every kid who goes to that site sees your mugly mug, my man. So there.

Love,
Rick

New guy asking for stuff already
I was forced to miss the Big Event and wonder if anyone has tape of Uncle Harlan giving his Grand Master speech and the Hour with Harlan Ellison. I'll pay in cash or gasoline.

Harlan's Legacy

Mark G - You may have read far more into Eric's comment than I did, but his opinion and sentiment were fairly worded and fair comment. Harlan has a legacy which will, without a doubt, transcend himself and -- in all likelihood -- all of us if the Immortalization Gods are kind.

What Eric stated, and I think correctly, is that for all of the work and quality Harlan has put into his scripting, it's the books and stories which will live on shelves the longest. Yes, a DVD of a particular movie or TV show may sit up there too, but it's the work of a small army of people, not just the writer, producer or star. As good as the shows were, f'r example, how many people in the world can name a single writer from CHICAGO HOPE or NYPD BLUE? This doesn't denigrate their work, but it does point to the mercurial nature of public's retention. Actors and sometimes Producers (capital P) are what are retained, rarely the writers (unless also one of the above categories). Again, in no way shape or form denigrating extraordinary works -- and Harlan will always have an asterisk starting with " * Wrote what fans and critics consider STAR TREK's best episode" as well as a hard-fought dedication on TERMINATOR, etc.

Remember: Working in TV is not an industry for someone who wishes to create a long-term legacy unless your name is Lucille Ball, Aaron Spelling or Norman Lear -- but the money is great and will keep the creditors at bay for yet another season.

Eric's point, and it's a good one, is that Harlan has achieved a large measure of respect and admiration (shh, don't tell him, he'll blush) for his writing. Even his detractors grudgingly admit his accomplishments (lord, Harlan, if you're reading this please look away).

He has ALREADY produced works which will stand the test of time, but (and I think this is Eric's main point) "our Mr. Ellison" is not done yet, hopefully not by a long shot. Any new work will likely add to the legacy -- and this is where Mr. Martin suggests (not insists, demands or requires, but suggests) that Harlan commit his time.

And I'd agree, based upon the above.

Then again, we ain't him and it's his life, not ourn.

(But offering an opinion on our patron's direction of work is actually far more "in bounds" that a lot of the comment hereabouts on a typical day.)

Brian - Hilarious posting.

Perplexed in Pittsburgh - Get a sense of humour.

Me - Just had a radio play nominated for an award. More details as I get them.

FAQ

What is so awful about Mr. Martin saying that Mr. Ellison has too much talent to squander is all on anonymous script doctoring when he could still be putting out some amazing literature that would be remembered for generations? It is somewhat puzzling why he isn't putting out anything when he's writing so much. We're fans. Don't we want to read his new stories? Where are they?

Brian:

It's minUscule. You know, like your wit. Please address the content of Mr. Martin's post, if you can, not the person behind it, if you expect your argument to have any merit. Otherwise it just makes you look like a boot-licking jerk who makes unprovoked ad hominem attacks.

On second thought, forget it. As you were.

HARLAN, quick note:
Talese is in hand, Carey's being sent to me from the warehouse, and the Fuentes I'll get from someone else in the building. They can be sent on separately or not, your call. And those giant mousetraps from Sumatra should be here any day now (to confound those of you who were listening).

HEY SUSAN!
HI SUSAN: If you read this tonight or tomorrow (I'll log on later, after domestic things and more work have been taken care of, can you tell me if you and Harlan got my fax? It's been a while since I've used the number, and I may have an old number -- or somebody else's entirely!

Many thanks!
--Dorman

Eric Martin wrote:

"Harlan, with all due respect, in regards to your comment about posterity...I think the less time spent on tv scripts and movie treatments, and the more time spent on getting books out, the closer you'll be to having, as Norman Mailer would say, your hand on the rump of history."

Listen to Eric, Harlan. If anyone knows how to weigh the cost-effectiveness of writing time, it's Eric. The novels he's published routinely go for tremendous advances. They sell in numbers that _dwarf_ the miniscule audiences claimed by movies and television. This has enabled him to maintain a six-figure yearly income without taking the Hollywood dollar.

And now that the Modern Library is publishing these Eric Martin novels in handsome clothbound editions this year-- see Salman Rushdie's appreciative review/essay in the _Times_-- he can certainly count on having achieved the kind of posterity that any writer would envy. It's truly an inspiring story; how Eric Martin avoided the nameless obscurity of such screenwriters as Ben Hecht, William Goldman, Robert Towne, and Quentin Tarantino, and applied himself to the achievement of true posterity.

Heed his words, Harlan, or meet your peril! Obscurity! Oblivion! Penury! And do, _do_ pass them along to Neil Gaiman, who may even _now_ be flushing a promising career into oblivion by wasting his time with screenwriting!

just checkin' in

Just read the story posted several days ago by:

paul
austin, tx - Friday, May 12 2006 14:8:0

Beautiful, just beautiful! This is the sort of thing that -- apart from posts from Da Guy Hisse'f -- I come around here to see.

David Loftus

(busily mastering my lines as Macduff for a production of "Macbeth," reading O. Henry and Saki for upcoming shows of "Story Time for Grownups," and reading Sam Weller's year-old bio _The Bradbury Chronicles_ which I bought at Powell's immediately Saturday night with the cash I had just gotten for a staged reading of Woody Allen's "God". . . .)

Re: Eric
The Man Who Dances As Fast As He Can
knows far more than just the Tango.

(There's the potential for an epic poem here someplace....)

re: erik
Isn't this where the good townsfolk edge away from the main drag?

You do understand even artists have to eat?

WRITING FOR PAY/COMMENT TO TESS
Hello, Tess. I'm a writer with a brushstroke's worth of accomplishment (some pro publications, once in a best of the year anthology from DAW Books) and I just want to share some babblethoughts with you on pay/no pay.

I write my stories and send them to my target markets, either highest paying (and therefor most highly competitive), or market which will respond fastest, and/or market where I have sold the editor before. Would I ever "give it away for free"? If nobody wanted to shell out cash for that particular manuscript, I would let it be published by a 4 the luv publication rather than stick it in a trunk. At least then it's in print, and Kelly Link or Ellen Datlow or Gardner Dozois or some other anthologist may reprint it in a Year's Best compilation, or at least put it in their "Honor Roll" Section. Then at least I have a credit to put on my cover letter when I submit the next story (again, to the highest paying market, etc.) I don't feel I've degraded myself by making this tradeoff.

In Chicago (where I came from) almost nobody makes a living acting on stage. Actors do it to hone their craft and be seen. I worked for nothing on stage for a long time; one day I was spotted by a talent agent and signed; soon I was making some commercials (where the real money is) and joining the Screen Actors Guild.

Who know who may see your writing in a 4 the luv market? I just wouldn't START there. In any event, never take the attitude that anyone is doing you a favor.

Why, Eric?
Eric Martin,

I have neither the time nor the inclination to start a flame war, but I have to ask what makes you think you have the right to comment on Harlan's choice of projects?

If we are supposed to act in this place as guests in his home, why would you enter his house and tell him what he should or should not work on?

I agree with your point that Harlan's work deserve better treatment than what they currently receive in the publishing industry. However that does not mean that, as a fan of his works, it gives you any right to dictate to him on what projects he chooses to spend his time.

A thought from a reader

Harlan, with all due respect, in regards to your comment about posterity...I think the less time spent on tv scripts and movie treatments, and the more time spent on getting books out, the closer you'll be to having, as Norman Mailer would say, your hand on the rump of history.

And it's not just new material, although a new book is overdue. There are not a few of us who feel that a handful of your existing volumes deserve better treatment than what the specialty houses have afforded them, despite all their good intentions.

To put it briefly: get on the shelves, not the tube. That's the path to the legacy you seek.

a couple of other Nebula Award links
Yesterday Diane Turnshek of SFWA sent me a link to some of her Nebula Weekend photos;

http://pics.livejournal.com/_starlady_/gallery/0000hqx1

and SF WEEKLY/SCI FI Magazine editor-in-chief Scott Edelman sent me a link to his blog. He was blogging it "live" which we both feel is probably not the optimal way to experience, well, anything. Nevertheless;

http://www.scifi.com/sfw/column/sfw12694.html

*** Doug & Rod *** I tweaked those changes to the essay since Cliff Meth is going to put it up on a couple of his sites. Thanks. And you're right Doug, the less said about that dead hob... damnit!

- Barney

Bindlestiff, PA.

neb
Shades looks like he might be a writer...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/35025258@N00/144615943/in/set-72057594131955774/

(couldn't resist)
Second verse, same as the first.
Little bit louder,
Little bit worse.

Jeeeee-zus, this 4th Act is a bitch!

I'm going to dropkick me into the sack for two or three hours.

Jason Brand: don't sweat it, kiddo. Sometimes I snarl, but I get over such li'l gaffes immediately. No need to scourge yourself...we're still playmates.

And now, adieu kind friends adieu, I can no longer 'bide with you, so hang my hat on a weepin' willow tree, and let the world think well of me...oh...second verse...

yr pl hrln

Just heard an old debate between Chris Hitchens and the great Tariq Ali. Now, I know why I have a headache. Imperialists should all just go away.

an apology to Harlan...
Many years ago I got your phone number from 411, and being a total fanboy, called you. You were apparently in the middle of writing, for you were quite upset with me. You ended up handing the phone to your wife Susan, who calmly told me to not call you again.

I never have. I was mortified that I was so thoughtless that I bothered you while you were doing what you do best. For years I thought that if I ever met you in person I would keep this to myself, as I have heard how you can be (if you catch my drift). But now I realize that the right thing to do is very simple: say that I am sorry.

So, many years later and with much humbleness before you and this board, I apologize.

your fan,

Jason

Harlan--

Thanks mightily for the comments and laving.

In reply:

(1) My Webster's Unabridged claims that tmesis is actually the separating of compound words, not the compounding of separate words. Its example: "what place so ever" instead of "whatsoever place."

(2) Ditko: He is included in THE MASTERS OF COMIC BOOK ART documentary that you hosted, but upon review, the strongest compliment you give him is that he was "interesting." Still, an easy mistake to believe that you think highly of the his work.

(3) I'll want to reread the "Fuck Xmas" pieces before detailing my befuddlement, for fear I'll misattribute something or other.

(4) How do you *know* you're mispronouncing my last name?

(5) "Gumquat"?

(6) Looking forward to hearing from Susan on your callipygianness ...

(7) P.S.: Yet another Pyskoty-Olle (the only other one on the planet) has a splendid short story on the same site. Please read it at your leisure:

"Grandpa Gets a Casket"
http://www.popthought.com/display_column.asp?DAID=1099

Wow.

Leave this frickin' place for a few days...

I'm back. Two, count 'em TWO, Nikons smoking quietly in the corner as they cool back down (and one very wasted video cam to boot). Was up in Boulder, CO, and the Rocky Mountain National Park, blazing away at anything that moved (photographically speaking, of course). Sumpin' on the high side of 600 shots taken over the last four days.

Which is a paltry amateur's efforts when I finally check back in the Pavilion to see what I missed. You kids've been guns a'blazin'. Good thing I passed up all but a handful of email to rush right over here and catch up.

FRANK: Harlan shuts this thing down, I'm using every resource at my disposal to find your IP address and leave you drawn and lifeless. I'm sure Rick W'll help me in that effort. As Harlan sez, this ain't a threat, it's a promise (and I know YOU'd be just as sad to see it go -- so don't mess it up).

JIM DAVIS: Thanks for posting Harlan's response to my note last Wednesday -- I'll get to the Forums here shortly.


'Scuse me know while I go blow out a few smoldering Nikons in the corner. Good to be back. Big Easy coming up this next weekend...

LA next weekend
Headed off to So Cal next weekend for a wedding in the family, in LA area for a couple of days.

If any of the local webderfolks want to hook up drop me an email, I'd love the chance to finally meet some of you in the flesh. Cup-o-joe, glass of wine, good meal... the venue is open to suggestion.

Didn't see tales of any signing or events in my last couple of Rabbit Holes, but if the locals have any tips on events I'd be grateful.

Cheers
Peg

Thanks for the corrections and updates.

The only thing I did wrong that I knew better than to do was misspell Stephen Hawking's name. I knew better. I know better. And I shall always know better. I jus' screwed it up.

Obviously the last act of THE DISCARDED is in trouble, and Harlan is providing himself with an alibi.

Thought he could outsmart us.

ALAN COIL & STEVE PYSKOTY - OLLE

With a grin and gratitude I festoon the paths upon which your cloven hoofs tread with scented rose petals. Thank you for the charming and dearly irresponsible accolades. As you CLEARLY know, I have slopping tankardsful of aw-shucks inability to shag the fungoes of praise (that send me careering into mixedly metaphorical babble). And so, by way of proper thankyou, I will correct your errors and Rabelaisian japes.

1) Steve -- "anydamnthing" is not "mushed-up words." It is an old, honorable grammatical device called "tmesis." Laurence Sterne, Miguel de Cervantes, James Joyce, Wm. Burroughs, J.D. Salinger, Alfred Bester, Harlan Ellison. You could look it up.

2) Steve -- I am less a "polymath" than I am an "autodidact."

3) Steve -- I seldom (if hardly ever) use the Whitman quote. The quote I certainly DO USE till all around me threaten open mayhem, is: "Chance favors the prepared mind." Louis Pasteur. Yes, I do understand that you picked the former because it fit properly into your opening theme, the essence of which summat tangentially deals with ego, but IN FACT, my ego is not sufficiently hyperthyroidal to permit my use of the Whitman.

4) Steve -- Kirby and Lee, yes. Eisner, yes indeed. Frank Miller and Igor Kadrey, yes. Bob Powell and Jack Cole, yes. Dan Day and Basil Wolverton, yes. Carl Barks, Dick Ayers, John Romita(x2), C.C. Beck, Creig Flessel, Kelley Jones, Marie Severin, Paul Chadwick, yes yes yes yes and yes. Ditko ... no. Not a favorite of mine. Sorry.

5) Steve -- Why(????) befuddlement over my two "Fuck Xmas" essays? You'll notice I do not in even the smallest way say "Christmas." Big difference between "Christmas" and "Xmas." Perhaps, discerning that abyss of difference will erase the Nazca Lines of befudlement from your virgin brow.

6) Steve -- I lave and anoint your bare feet in thanks and camaraderie. (Now if I could only stop mentally mispronouncing your last name, and giggling like a gopher with a gumquat.)

On to Coil.

1) Alan -- We both know it was not I who "once broke a man's hip with but a single punch to the jaw." Every single line preceding that error is ABSOLUTELY TRUE, sans flaw or carp. But to take credit for what it was I saw my teacher, Bruce Lee, do--
well, that would be wrong. (And it wasn't the hip that got broke. And it wasn't a punch to the jaw.

It WAS one fist; but it was Bruce who merely twitched his hips, with that fist up against his opponent's sternum. One twitch, no more, and the big guy was catapaulted back fifteen feet with EVERYTHING INSIDE HIM ruptured. I could never do that. Not even driving a backhoe.

2) Alan -- It's STEPHEN HAWKING, not "Steven Hawkins."

3) Alan -- It's been a long time since I used Poughkeepsie as the site of the SSS (Secret Story Source, Inc.). I do not deny that someplace(s) I said it was Poughkeepsie; but quite a while ago I stopped being duplicitous about it, and started revealing the ACTUAL venue of the SSS. Schenectady.

Get into the fuckin' update loop, Coil!

4) Alan -- I have not written "a story (in one day!) while sitting in a display window of a book store," I have written more than forty--one of which, "From A to Z, in the Chocolate Alphabet," and a second, "From A to Z, in the Sarsaparilla Alphabet," contain 26 separate stories each--and the act of so doing is considerably nobler than reduction to the media-whore phrase "promotional stunt." We'll talk about this some day.

Oh, incidentally, it was only after I'd done the Public Storytelling, Ellison Under Glass, thing half a dozen times, in an attempt to match the alleged feat of the French novelist Georges Simenon, one of my idols, that I learned he had never, in fact, done it. Gallimard, his publisher, announced the impossible feat but it never came to be. Had I known it was an impossible feat, I never would have tried it, nor would I have repeated it forty times.

5) Alan -- What, are you nuts??!!?? "...a heretofore unrecognized modesty--that several years ago he declared himself ineligible for future Hugo Awards." Have you taken leave of your unCoiledSenses?! Ineligible, my bleeding arse, you troublemaking smartaleck. Don't you realize that now that they've given me the Incipient Worm Food Award, aka, Grand Master, I'm expected--as Connie Willis pointed out to me after the Nebula Banquet last weekend--"to go home, lie down, and immediately die."

NOW is when I need to win a few more Hugos, Nebulas, Edgars, Tonys, Grammys, Oscars and Nobels, you ultramaroon! Now! When they've written me off, when my "15 minutes is over," when I'm no-price, when my name appears only on the BACK cover of anthologies, when schoolkids don't know my name, when they speak of me in the same tone of voice as Nathaniel Hawthorne or Aeschylus. NOW, Coil, NOW! I want MORE&MORE&MORE&MORE Hugos and Nebulas and Edgars and Obies and Oscars and inclusions in "Best American Short Stories." What the hell you think I've been putting my life on hold for, going on 72 years? Posterity, you miserable obit-scribbling bleeding-heart. NOW is when I've got to crank up the motor and write another hundred stories, better than all the previous ones.

And without Hugo and N ebula nominations, and a few wins every couple of years, how the hell will I know anybody is still listening?

Apart from these teensy revisions, you and Steve have written the cold, hard, amazing truth ... a life of such stunning achievements that I now have to go lie down...

Immediately after I finish the last act of that !@#$%^&*(+ teleplay.

Yr. pal, Harlan

FYI
An article in today's New York Times Magazine about the movement to assemble an online, fully-searchable library of all the world's books: http://www.nytimes.com/2006/05/14/magazine/14publishing.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

GRAND MASTER HARLAN ELLISON

I invite you and all of the denizens of these parts to come and read the following piece:

http://www.popthought.com/display_column.asp?DAID=1121

It is written by Steve P.-O., who also posts here on occasion, and me. The subject of the piece is Harlan Ellison.

Also, if any are of the mind to explore the site, here is the address for the main page, where you may find an article written by Amy H. Sturgis, who Steve P.-O. mentions in his post about 12 previous to this one:

http://www.popthought.com/

Thank you, one and all. I hope you enjoy your visit.

Alan Coil

Harlan, here's a link to that Poe rabies finding:

http://www.umm.edu/news/releases/news-releases-17.html

Barney -

Only one teensy point of correction: At the banquet, Connie introduced Richard Curtis, who introduced Neil.

Otherwise, that all sounds about right, and will certainly confound the DA when we all stick to it after they find that dead hobo over in - oh, but now I've said too much.

GARY LOCKE: Matter closed. No harm, no foul; just three hours of my writing life, is all. Stay well.

BARNEY: Nice con report. Little did I realize it was you making so much noise in The Library that I got no sleep for two nights, and wound up looking like one of those terrapins you mentioned. I HADDA WEAR FUCKIN' EARPLUGS, YOU SCUZZBUCKET!!!!!

I know where you live.

Still exhausted, Yr. pal, Harlan

Nebuloid, he was a Nebuloid – one Mimosa too many!
[Thanks to my buddy Kenton for the title inspiration]

Now that was fun. I can hardly wait to do that again this weekend. You mean we’re not all converging on a great hotel and eating and drinking and telling tall tales and giving lifetime achievement awards out next week as well? But it was fun! What’s that? Back to the basement? Shoulder to the wheel, nose to the grindstone, fingers to the keyboard? Ok, if you say so – but a bit more of that sort of weekend sure as hell couldn’t hurt.

I did pay for it Monday going into Tuesday. Slept about 12 straight hours, which is a record for at least the last 10 years in my book. My sleep “schedule” went like this.

My sleep schedule was;
Wed. - 3 hours
Thur. - 3 hours
Fri. - 2.5 hours
Sat. - 3.5 hours
Sun. - 2 hours

That's 14 hours of sleep in a 132 hour window for people playing at home.

Thursday was pretty laid back. Got in, picked up a PT Cruiser so folks would have options and 4 doors and I would have some headroom for a change. Nice car but no pick-up whatsoever. Found the Palms and eventually hooked up with Doug, Ben and Amy. We compared dueling scars, told some lies and then proceeded to find how many bars, bookstores and ice cream stands were within walking distance. Having accomplished that mission without flight suits (space suits would have been required in August) we had dinner and registered. The program book was just “ok”, but they make it up to you with a Lisa Snellings book bag and a British long ton of free book swag that is your problem once they hand it off to you.

Registration was also where I hooked up with Scott V. Norris, Bill G., Shane Shellenbarger, Jon Monzo and the family Richmond. After poking heads into the reception we all ambled out and took over a nice outdoor corner table at a nearby restaurant and told more lies and speculated about what the Nebs might hold in store. Then everybody but me got jet lag and trundled off to bed. I walked across the street to a place called THE LIBRARY which was actually a college party bar flying some very false colors. Turns out they actually did have a bookcase and a few couches but this was not the library of Professor Henry Higgins by a long shot. The cover band was called METALHEAD and they had some decent drafts and $3.00 shots so I figured what the hell. I had already seen the bowl of M&M’s in the con suite. This looked like more fun than that and in a sick and mindless way it was. It’s not as though Def Lepperd, Poison, Motley Crue or Guns & Roses are in rotation in my car stereo but I do know the words. Much better than arguing about upcoming summer movies over a bowl of Fritos with a guy wearing Federation insignia. Seemed like a good idea at the time.

Friday morning was THREE leisurely breakfasts with everybody mentioned above plus Harlan and Susan. By 10:15AM the Excedrin had finally started to work and by 11AM I’d been passed so many “just this one bite” of peoples buffet leftovers I was feeling like ZIM on a human organ engorgement feeding frenzy. Uurp. Then it was back to my hotel for a change of clothes and some swim trunks and then back to the Palms where Tim and I lifted weights for an hour, did some cardio and then did 15 laps in the pool. At least that’s how I remember it. Tim and I did re-create a poolside shot similar to an old photo of Harlan and Poul Anderson. Relative heights were similar but we’re both about 25% heavier. Sad, but true. To his credit, I did see Doug Lane in workout gear at least once so someone used all that nice equipment properly.

Late Friday afternoon was AN HOUR WITH HARLAN ELLISON. This was the fairly typical scorched earth, take no prisoners, “shut up kiddo, I’m workin’ a single” type gig. No children were terrorized or puppies held at gunpoint. A good time was had by all. One highlight was a great shaggy dog story about a man with a very strange affliction. You had to be there. There are videos. In fact I would venture to guess that there were at least two professional rigs shooting everything Harlan did except meals and trips to the bathroom.

This was followed by the Friday Group Signing, which was a relatively low key affair unless you happened to be poor Harlan, in which case they all come out of the woodwork and up from the floorboards with armloads and shopping bags and pallets of books to be signed - while occasionally asking Susan when the finger bones and other holy relics might become available. But then again, it wouldn’t really be a full on Harlan weekend event without a line being [of necessity] cut off and placeholder numbers being assigned to the sullen and unwilling while looking like new arrivals in The Village all asking “if I am number six than who is number one?” I said hello to Joe Haldeman and Connie Willis and continued a conversation I’d been having with William F. Nolan instead. In fact at one point I was the only person at both of their tables and was deeply conflicted about which anecdote I should have been paying more attention to. One of the funnier things said last weekend was when someone characterized Connie Willis as “unapproachable.” Hah! William F. Nolan had a great story about his father racing with Barney Oldfield sometime around 1914 and being pronounced dead at the scene. Great stuff.

Then there was the author’s reception which very quickly became a series of testimonials and very mild roasts. Mostly, mostly, these were warm reminiscences and anecdotes. For about ten minutes I let Peter David use me as a human shield. Then the spirit overcame me and I got up and told a story about a dealer’s kid I knew who was used as a mule to get Harlan autographs. This kid was supposedly [but not actually] traumatized by Harlan. The kid grew up and not only avoided therapy but ended up being one of those guys who brings well worn copies of his own to Harlan’s occasional I-Con appearances. Not a “victim” but rather a reader and aficionado.

Then I went off the testimonial rails by trying to drag in a Twain metaphor, remembered where I was - and closed badly. The point I had intended to make, The POINT that Neil Gaiman made well the following evening, was that all of these lies and tall tales and half truths and whisper down the lane myths about chandeliers and elevator shafts will fall by the wayside and that ultimately it’s the stories and essays that will be read and will be remembered. Normally, just typing this I would feel like I was cribbing from Gaiman [even though this isn’t a new insight] but later on Friday I had one of those “wit of the stairs” moments and said all of the above to Doug Lane while simultaneously cursing my inability to make this point when I had the microphone. Gnash grind gnash.

This was all instantly and thankfully forgotten as Peter David made his presence known to Harlan. Peter came in late Friday and left early Sunday but wasn’t going to miss this one for anything. Peter now has a bowling ring [287?] which he can heat up with a borrowed lighter and brand the foreheads of his enemies with. Not that he would, just that he could. ;-)

Then everyone went looking for a dead dog party and I eventually found my way to the Irish Pub (in Arizona, yeah, right) with a courtyard bar with a mission statement of keeping the back half of the Palms Hotel guests awake for the duration of the weekend. Here I took up residence and made myself part of the problem. I was however, unable to teach anybody Gordon R. Dickson drinking filk songs, so SF cultural cross-pollination was less than perfect. Still in all, it was better to be those of us drinking in that courtyard than the poor folks praying to elder gods that the courtyard itself would open up and pull us down to the depths of hell where we probably richly deserved to be. Seemed like a good idea at the time.

SINCO DE ME OH MY OH or, DIA DE LOS SFWA MUERTAS.

That’s certainly what it felt like from the inside of my eyelids. I’m pretty sure Arizona is actually located somewhere between the orbit of Venus and Mercury with occasional forays much closer to the sun. I’m sure Hal Clement could have worked out how that would be possible. I’m just relating what it felt like to me. Rose early, found breakfast, then took the Richmond’s to the Arizona Zoo and botanical garden complex. The zoo was ok, with some great otherworldly (to us Easterners) flora, but a little light on the fauna front. I spent quite a bit of time staring at a couple of turtles the size of SUV’s, one of which was at least three times older than our patron and Grand Master recipient. To me THIS was a science fiction moment. Anything born 30 years BEFORE Mark Twain that still walks around looking for its next meal and looks like it could survive sitting on a hand grenade gives me pause. Then Tim and I looked up the orangutans and rung some changes on Warren Zevon’s wonderful song GORILLA, YOU’RE A DESPERADO. Then it was back to the Palms for part 7 of the 2006 Harlan Globetrotters Tour.

4PM was the “Genre of the Living Dead” panel with Harlan and Gordon Van Gelder, where they each politely, and sometimes not so politely, danced around the merits of the various works up for this year Nebulas and some other high profile books in the genre. A few oxen were gored but none too badly. Well, perhaps one, but it got to be a bestseller and make its author rich so who cares.

Then we all changed into some fancier duds and it was time for the pre-banquet poolside get-your-drink-on and REALLY start speculating on what Harlan might do or say. I found a table with Scott Edelman and William F. Nolan and we ended up talking about Lin Carter and Theodore Sturgeon while I continued to confound a LOCUS photographer by pocketing my con badge. Ask me about this someday. And then we were off to that over-priced feed trough of fun and glory, the 2006 Nebula Awards banquet hosted by Connie Willis.

At some small personal risk I am going to insert some remarks about The Connie Willis / Harlan Ellison Show. I don’t know how long this has been going on or how exactly it started or what the intentions of the two participants were [or are] – but it doesn’t work. There is a tension in evidence that starts small and builds to a point where it’s no longer really fun for the audience. The best way I can describe it is that it starts out as gentle prodding and all too quickly gets away from both of them. BOTH of them. If I had to guess – and this is a BIG guess – it might be an attempt to recreate the sort of verbal abuse that Harlan and Isaac Asimov used to go at each other with. But although this is the stuff of fannish legend, Harlan and Isaac both retired the act because it was sometimes misunderstood by casual bystanders. I think this MAY be more of the same kind of competitiveness.

Moving on. I don’t know exactly when or where the evening’s remarks will be covered – although I expect a big LOCUS spread pretty soon – but fear not, it was faithfully recorded. There were at least three professional video rigs going and at least 4 dozen high end digital cameras in the room. I half expect this to come out as 600 photos of people taking pictures of people taking pictures.

Connie pointed out that the evening would be hosted by SFWA folks instead of being outsourced. This, to me, was wonderful news as I have sat through a couple of banquets with hosts whose knowledge of the field was Star Trek jokes obtained via a Google search. Please. She also ran down some low points from SFWA banquets of the last 20 years which made me grateful this was my first. Raw sewage leaking on to one of the tables wasn’t even the worst evening recalled.

Bill Nolan got his Emeritus Award [design by Lisa Snellings] and was succinct in his acceptance speech. Carol Emshwiller won for short story, proving the Dangerous Visions alumni are still producing some fine work. Kelly Link won for both novelette and novella and had a nice funny line about the strangeness of handing out giant blocks of Lucite to express affection and appreciation and then it was time for the big show.

Connie introduced Peter David who introduced Neil Gaiman and Neil brought on Harlan. In my notes here I have scrawled “Tale of the Tape”. I’m not going to say much of what Harlan said. It was all recorded and I’m sure will be transcribed word for word at some point. I should say that Harlan began by noting those fine writers who would not be receiving the reward because their number came up too soon and also noting those others who Harlan felt should have perhaps gone before him

… and that just took all the wind out my own sails.

Like I said up there – “the tale of the tape.” You really had to be there.

Later, most of us changed back into civvies and re-joined Harlan back in the banquet hall where Harlan was holding court and telling stories about John Steinbeck and being out in the wind and, well, again, you should have been there.

*********************************************************************

Sunday Recovery and batting cleanup.

I should say that at our banquet table was an Ellison Webderland lurker, one Rod Searcey who is a professional photographer and who I expect we will be hearing more of. He has been compiling a number of photographs of the astronauts [for a book I hope] that are just absolutely stunning. This past weekend he had set up a room at the hotel as a professional studio and was doing sittings of all the guests he could line up. He had black and whites at the table with him Saturday night and I foolishly thought these were the finished products. Then I saw the COLOR shots on Sunday morning. This is some really fantastic work. He makes Peter David look, umm, dignified - and he makes Harlan look like an elder statesman. Wonderful stuff.

Sunday morning was another marathon breakfast with Susan sneaking food on to my plate – because she is studiously trying to kill me – and then it was head ‘em up and move ‘em on out to the airport.

Doug and I - and a few others – were heading out Monday rather than Sunday so we began loitering at the hotel with intent. I spent about an hour talking to Diane Brown (the high priestess of I-Con) about their future plans for the convention in Long Island and then hooked up with Peter Heck (author of DEATH ON THE MISSISSIPPI) and William F. Nolan. We sat around and discussed/debated what Mark Twain was thinking in that last third of Huck Finn and then it was time for more grub. About six of us, including William F. Nolan ended up having Italian food at a place called BOA about two blocks from the Palms. Spent the dinner talking about Harlan, about Westerns, about what Hollywood does to movies and to writers, about Dashiel Hammett and Lillian Hellmann and then it was time for the check.

Hooked up later with Rod Searcey in the hotel bar where they charged him $4.75 for a diet coke and we talked about the space program and sending away to NASA for mission patches as children. Then we retired to the courtyard with Doug Lane, Ben and Amy where we compared our new dueling scars and plotted our Monday morning retreats to our respective realities.

And that’s the news from Lake Waterbegone on Planet Arizona. You really, really should have been there.

- Barney Dannelke 05/14/06

"And credit where credit is due: Ben (aka Benjamin, aka Washu, aka Li'l Washu) was the one that started the Discarded thread."

And here I thought I had finally grown out of that...

Stalker
Harlan, and all -
For the record, I told the story as truthfully as I remembered it. Time obfuscates memory. But, for the record, I never said that I believed that Harlan had had sex with the woman (and I never stated it as a fact); I merely stated what she told me. The Tarot reading happened exactly as I described it.
I have always wondered about this woman, and never doubted that there was far more to the story than I would ever know. Frankly, I am gratified to have the details filled in, and don't question Mr. Ellison's veracity in the least. I also regret any pain ressurrecting this story might cause him. I sought out this forum in order tell a curious story about him, and hoped that his response would close a tiny (but interesting) paragraph in my life.
Sincerely,
Gary Locke

Tony R.: I think you mean 'disinterested observer.' If you're uninterested, you wouldn't have posted.

Mirrormask is a terrific little fantasy film, btw. Harlan should try to get Dave McKean to design and direct one of his more fabulistic tales -- "The Man Who Rowed Christopher Columbus Ashore" or something like it.

Cheers, Jon

I speak only as an uninterested observer.

While I can see where there was potential for calumny against Mr Ellison, my impression at reading the tale was that the female pursuer whom I will not deign to even name was clearly (minimally) of dubious cred, & I did not in the least believe that the story-withing-story as told was taken at face value by the narrator, hence its OHenryesque denouement.

Still, I'm gladdened to hear that the claims were eventually established as baseless. Indeed, such apocryphal nonsense will be now more merrily & mercilessly (s)quashed by errant Irregulars like me.

Suddenly I can see an added advantage to write pseudonymously & hire someone else to do the public schtick.

Yeesh, that stalker story makes my skin crawl. (All that happened *before* things like the murder of John Lennon and the attempt on Reagan threw celebrity-obsession into the limelight.) It makes me ashamed of being a girl (the horrible things women do when sexual tension is somehow involved)...meeting someone opposite gender can't ever be the same as if it were same-gender. The mysteries of male bonding are forever closed to me.

Harlan, you have my sympathies. So do all the perfectly nice women on lecture and sf convention committees!

Kristin

.....and once again, bullshit stories about a fictional Harlan Ellison must be spewed as fact. Harlan gets to respond on his own board, but how many times in the past 35 years has that story been told, and in how many different ways, by Mr. Locke.

And Harlan is just a 'lesser known' celebrity....imagine the bullshit that some of the S*T*A*R*S must go through.

Yeesh. I feel for you, Harlan, it must frustrate the turds from your soul!

-TODD

Thanks
Harlan,

Congratulations on the Grand Master award. I wanted to attend the ceremony but was unable to make it.

If I had gone, I would have had you sign my issue of Fish Police number 26. It contains maybe my favorite essay of yours, "Finny Friends, Adieu, Toodle-oo." It's ostensibly a afterword to the Fish Police saga but the essay captures some wonderful sentiments about the passing and importance of what we treasured in our youth. The sentiment of that essay--and the way it was expressed--really spoke to me.

Have you ever considered collecting this essay with all the multitude of other introductions, essays, and whatnot you've written for other artists' work?

I've always enjoyed your work but I've also enjoyed the many writers and artists you've led me to. You've always been very generous in giving exposure to other, deserving artists. Through the years I've come to trust and enjoy your recommendations.

So, thanks for helping me find the following:

Paul Chadwick's Concrete; Robert Crais; Dan Simmons; Fish Police; Robert Cormier's Fade; Ennio Morricone; Edward Bryant; Neil Gaiman; Charles Beaumont; Peter David's Hulk run; Nellie McKay; the art of Jacek Yerka; and so much more.

It might not seem important but I just wanted to express my appreciation.

Thank you,

Stuart

Essay on Octavia E. Butler in REASON Magazine
Just a note that you can find a short (two-pages, maybe 1000 words) piece on Ms. Butler and her novels in the current (June 2006) issue of REASON Magazine. Mine just came in the post, so I'm not sure if it's on the stands yet.

It's written by Amy H. Sturgis, and is titled: "The Parables of Octavia Butler: A science-fiction writer's libertarian legacy." It's mentioned on the cover.

It will probably be available on www.reason.com in about a month's time -- and I have e-mailed the website's editor in an attempt to get the "E" properly added into her name when the time comes.

Harlan,
I appreciate the time you took to reply. Thank you. Anything else to be clarified, or added by me will be done so in the forums. If I may be so bold as to have your permission to cut and paste your statements here into The Discarded thread?

And credit where credit is due: Ben (aka Benjamin, aka Washu, aka Li'l Washu) was the one that started the Discarded thread.

Rich (also breathing a sigh of relief that the GL anecodte was taken care of promptly and succinctly)

A SANE AND RESPONSIBLE ANSWER TO GARY LOCKE

Sir:

I never so much as kissed the woman of whom you speak, that many years ago in Boston. Her name was Marlyse (not Marlis) Schwartz, and she was a stalker who subsequently attempted to
sue me for some imagined, nonsensical affront I was alleged to have commited in public, at that Roast (not dinner). She never alleged, either publicly or privately--save to a gullible young man named Gary Locke--that we had engaged in ANY form of sex, either in the Clintonesque evasion sort, or the real thing, which we adults call fucking.

She was, indeed, on the lecture committe, being a civilian--not student--liaison with the academic institution whereat I spoke. But here's the second correction to your faulty memory: my gig was at MIT, not Boston University. Schwartz got herself assigned as my "chaperone" for the engagement. She had, in her capacity as a paid employee of MIT, conspired to bring me in to speak, I all unknowing of her obsession. She attempted several times to get into my hotel room at the Copley Plaza, both the night I arrived and had dinner with the student lecture committee, and the next night. I was forced to call security and the front desk at the Copley to have her escorted out.

She made a violent scene. I tried to have as little to do with her as possible. I made it an unbreakable rule during all my days as a lecturer NEVER to get involved with the women who were part of any entity that hired me to speak. I believe the coarse-but-accurate caveat is: Never shit where you eat.

I won't go into the untidy specifics of this well-remembered contretemps from December 1977, save to report the upshot ... since you have had the bad judgment to report as fact that which was imparted to you by an irrational stranger. Also, as the manner in which you tell the story clearly paints me as a conscienceless womanizer who rutted like a crazed weasel (if we are to credit your thirty-year-old erroneous recollections), I find myself having to explain that while I may have "had it off" with MANY MANY women during my lecturing peregrinations, it was NEVER EVER with a functionary who had hired me.

I was, indeed, a slut ... but no-time did I do other than fend off the pushy, AnnieWilkes-like Ms. Schwartz.

Back to the upshot.

I returned to LA. Ms. Schwartz filed against me for (as Superior Court Civil Action no. 10597, entered in Essex County, Commonwealth of Massachusetts--you could look it up as the record is public--alleges) "remarks made by Mr. Ellison at a party at the China Pearl Restaurant in Boston on November 9, 1977."

I had to hire an attorney in Boston to respond to this calumny.
The attorney was Nancy Gertner, Esq. then of the firm of Silverglate, Shapiro & Gertner. You can check with HER, as well, Mr. Locke ... and she'll remember this case well. How do I know that, thirty years' on? Because Nancy Gertner got married, left the law firm, and is a currently sitting Juge of the Federal District Court in Essex County. Judge Nancy Gertner, who I spoke to when she won election to the Judgeship, and we reminisced about the "Marlyse Schwartz" matter, which was booted out of court by way of a Stipulation of Dismissal signed by Marlyse Allison Schwartz on or about 24 February 1981.

I didn't get back my legal fees, but it was worth it to get the signature of Ms. Schwartz on a legal document that relieved me of ever having to deal with, or even think of, her again.

Until Gary Locke popped in to pass along the delusionary remark that I had screwed, then jilted, then flaunted another caddish intention with yet another innocent slip of a girl.

All of the foregoing is simply and immediately checkable for its completeness and its veracity. You need not apologize for acting like a twit, Mr. Locke. You were young, you were naive, you were gullible; and except for the "young" part, you haven't forged much personal progress since 1977.

Bitch-slapped but unbowed, I remain,

Most respectfully,

Harlan Ellison

reply to Mark Goldberg
You're quite correct about Harlan's work being tough to find here in the Twin Cities. I've often wondered about the reasons behind that, and my only guess is that Harlan is one of those authors that people tend to "hold onto to," and not sell when they prune (read "DUMP") their collections.

With that said, I occasionally DO find Ellison books at the local HALF PRICE BOOKS, which is where I got my "annotated" version of AGAIN, DANGEROUS VISIONS. I've seen various bits of Ellisonia there over the years, including ALL FOUR of the EDGEWORKS books sitting next to each other just begging to be taken home. Of course, I already had them so I left them to be someone else's Holy Grail.

Not that you asked, but the best places I've found to finally find that missing paperback or odd story collection has been http://www.bookfinder.com and http://www.half.com , both of which make it almost TOO EASY to find those weird books I like so much.

Working for Pay
Harlan: You and I have met once and communicated otherwise a few times, and it has always been worth my while to listen, even when I disagree. I have just left my most recent employment to open my own law office, and happened to visit here after a long absence. With the exception of the price setting, which tends to be done by the lawyer, everything you have said about getting paid applies to my most recent venture as well, and I thank you for the reminder. Getting carried away in my wish to "help" people with their problems is no different than feeling sorry for a struggling publication. I think anyone who works for themselves (writers, solo lawyers, bakery owners) faces the challenge of asking for money for doing the thing they love to do. You don't want to look like a wh**e to the money, do you? I politely confronted my first repeat caller who didn't want to sign a contract to pay my fees just the other day, and while I can't say it went well (she got defensive and I didn't get hired), I won't be wasting my time with those phone calls anymore, and I can give that time to my other, already paying clients. So I can only add to your advice to solo practitioners of any stripe: be brave! Someone will pay you, so don't be afraid to walk away from the people who won't! Starving to death doing what you love means you won't get to do it anymore. ;) Thanks, Harlan, for the inspirational reminder...

Someone Named Marlis
Okay. Let's tell a (true) story. I could not make it up. (Maybe I could, but I didn't.)
In 1977 Harlan was appearing in Boston at, I believe, the behest of the Boston University Celebrity Series. He had one of his then famous appearances in a bookstore window writing a story. This was at the late, lamented, Victor Hugo Bookshop on Newbury Street. Part of his posse that day was a not very attractive, but interesting woman named Marlis. I believe that she was part of the aforementioned Celebrity Series. Her job was to give him whatever he needed. It quickly became clear that he had bewitched her, perhaps more than. Harlan's charm was evident, and it had clearly had its effect on her.
I came there to see Harlan, perhaps to see if he could help in my writing a college paper on "Repent, Harlequin". I also admired him enormously, and made no secret of it.
Harlan was very gracious, and gave freely of his time, while still attempting to write a story in the store window. I believe that the story later evolved into "Django". There was clearly some tension developing between Marlis and Harlan. Nothing I could at the time follow. Had they been lovers? Was he stringing her along?
I took off, sensing that the time had come for me to exercise restraint and give the guy his time to create. Besides, the karma in the room was beginning to smell like a week old baby seal corpse. As I walked down the street, Marlis drove in up, and asked if I would go to Harlan's hotel with her. As this was beginning to seem like an Ellison story (or, maybe, a Sturgeon), I accepted.
Marlis told me that Harlan and she had made love the night before, and that she was passionate about him. She also felt that he was now trying to brsh her off, however kindly. She then told me that she was dying of cancer, and that Harlan either didn't, or wouldn't, believe her. She dearly wanted Harlan to have something to remember her by,felt that she knew just the thing, and she wanted my opinion of it. She seemed to feel that I, as a longtime admirer of Harlan, had some insight. I wanted to get the fuck out of the car.
She took me to the gift shop at the Copley Plaza Hotel. If I could remember the subject of the print she wanted my opinion of, I would die a contented man. As it was, the next few minutes wiped any clear memory of that forever from my brain.
She bought the print. I seem to remember that it wasn't anything special (I have a picture or Harlan opening it hours later). Here's the funky part.
The girl at the gift counter was dicking around with Tarot cards. The typical kind of "I'm bored" shit anyone at a losy retail job would do. Marlis asked about it, and, before you could say Twilight Zone, the sales girl was reading Marlis' fortune. You can probably see what's coming; and I confess that if I wasn't convinced that this was the greatest train wreck I'd ever see, I'd have seen it coming, too.
She read the scene perfectly. I remember the King of Wands, the Prince of Cups, the Wheel of Fortune and, yes, the Hanged man upside down and Death. Harlan, me, Marlis, and death. There was more, much more, and the girl read it as matter-of-factly as if she was reading a bus schedule. I beg you to believe me. It still gives me the chills. Marlis wanted to know if she was going to die soon, and what the future had in store for her with the men currently in her life. The shop girl, finally realizing what this fortune was telling, quickly pointed out that an act of free will, opposing the fortune told, would alter much of what she'd seen in the cards. Marlis politely thanked her, paid for the print (I remember that it was about $200 - a high sum 20 years ago, and today), and took me back to Newbury Street with her. We walked in together, and she gave Harlan the print. He was most appreciative, and gave her a big hug. The subject of her health came up. Harlan dismissed her fears of dying. To be fair to Harlan, I've come to be sure that he didn't believe her.
A film crew showed up to interview him. Harlan started to flirt, quite openly, with the girl on the crew. I could see that Marlis was hurt by his attention to this (very) attractive presence. Marlis asked me if I would like to go with her, as her guest, to the sold out speech that Harlan was to give that night.
I looked at her, I looked at Harlan, and I remembered the shop girl's words about exercising free will. I said my goodbyes, and never saw Marlis again.
I think of her often.

RICH:

I hardly think you're "full of shit" for your opinion on the short story Josh and I are adapting for MASTERS OF SCIENCE FICTION, the forthcoming series on ABC. No such inference should be drawn from my "politeness" post.

1) I stay out of the S.P.I.D.E.R. threads almost entirely, mostly so you who post there will speak candidly, freely, fully, and without fear that you'll "hurt my feelings" or, worse, for fear your opinions will "incur my wrath." I very sincerely curry intelligent criticism and insights, whether I agree with them or not, as I've tried to hammer into your heads again and again, though I think the full measure of that concept has only permeated the colloid mass of a few of you.

2) That doesn't mean I either agree or disagree with your conclusions, Rich. It means I slowly read what you say, I sit and think on it for a while, then I do an autopsy on it and salvage the viable body parts for the Frankensteinian golem that is my working ethos.

3) MY feeling about "The Discarded" (story, as opposed to teleplay) is that you are closer to on-the-button than awry, but that while your interpretations are sound, where they led you seems to me perfunctory. (I suppose I'm wondering at what point in our long hegira to tomorrow it became a dismissive to compare a story's aspect with "The Twilight Zone," which up till now has--for the most part, speaking of its best episodes, not its weakest or most saccharine--been considered a GOOD thing.)

4) And I should be posting this at the S.P.I.D.E.R. thread, Jan and Rick, but as I've bleated previously, no tickling of the Mosler's tumblers will open that vault for me. Pitiful beastie that I seem to be. Anyhow...

I made some incredibly amateurish errors in the story as originally written, and I seek no get-outta-jail-free card just because it was written and published within a year or two or three of my first sales, back in the '50s. I wrote it, I'm responsible for it; but your concerns that it is too slight a work for MASTERS as opposed to something like "Repent, Harlequin!" is, I suggest, jejeune and misplaced: thus the "politeness" response.

5) In the short story, for instance, I make as egregious a tyro's mistake as did director Pete Hyams in OUTLAND. Both of us are clearly technologically semi-literate. We both fired a gun with a bullet, a missile, inside a spaceship. Yoicks! What a dunderhead! I am aware of my shortcomings in that area, and have worked diligently for the last almost-fifty years to get educated. I still don't give Greg Benford or David Brin or Bruce Sterling or Ben Bova even a close second at this race--I'm somewhere back in the pack of squirrels trying not to let the peanuts eat US--but I do work at it; and in the teleplay, you'll see none of those hideous gaffes. You may see OTHERS, but not those in the published story.

6) "Repent, Harlequin!" is a story I'd long ago decided I was never going to allow to be made into a film/tv show/theme park ride/DVD/hologram/puppet-show/Broadway musical. I've turned down L A R G E amounts of green for the rights. For some dumb reason I conned myself into thinking I could do it for Keith Addis and MASTERS, but the longer I worked at translating it, the more determined I became that it was a spurious undertaking. No matter HOW cleverly I framed it. This is a story to be read, not "performed." Same for "Jeffty is Five."

7) When I tried to beg out of the project, Keith Addis was gentleman enough, and smart enough, and kind enough, to suggest I pick another story. And work on it with a writer of my choosing, whose work I would "oversee." I selected four stories I thought would transmogrify well, and one of them was "The Discarded," a story I've always liked, ever since 1957. Well, it turned out even better than any of us had anticipated, and as you can imagine, I don't have to "oversee" Josh. He's good, really good, and this is the first and only time I've ever worked with a partner ... and it is a marriage made, if not in Heaven, well at least in Arkham Asylum. We've become good friends, we work smoothly together, and we produce a "third voice" that captures the best of both of us.

8) But the place where I think you get shunted onto a foggy, abandoned spur of this choo-choo, Rich, is in assuming one-for-one that the published story (with all its flaws) is what we're doing for the visual incarnation. Hardly. It bears the same comparison of presentation to the published version as Catherine Zeta-Jones does to Gravel Gertie. "The Discarded" can be made within the ABC budget, and look elegant, look just great! "Harlequin!" would've broken the bank at Monte Carlo.

One does what one CAN do, without abandoning one's standards of excellence, rather than busting one's hump on a game that ain't worth the candle. (You can look up that reference in my archive of posts here, if it doesn't rattle for you.)

9) Working with Josh, working on this script, revising and updating and rethinking THIS story, have been a joy. There is damned little joy to be had in TV-land, so I did "politeness" rather than getting into it with you. But I gotta say (and I wish I could remember who it was) that the post preceding yours bulked more accurately, in my view ... the praiseful part of it aside.

Yr. pal, Harlan

Quick, go to Airamericaradio.com and stream that shit now. Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is going to debate Sam Harris, author of The End Of Faith. Kennedy is a liberal, but a catholic one.

Someone emailed me telling me that I farted in church. I have not gone to the Forums to check out whatever the hell my __personal opinion__ on The Discarded generated, but will do so shortly. Two things, though:

1) I sincerely apologize for fucking up Josh OLSON's name. I've had my own issues in the past with people messing up my name so it is absolutely embarrassing and beyond excuse for me doing so to Mr. Olson. I am a big, big, big bigbig fan of A HISTORY OF VIOLENCE and think that Mr. Olson's last line in that screenplay is something that I only wish I had the balls to put down on paper; knowing that everyone, the producer/the director/the cinemtographer/everyone will say it can't be done.

Well, it was done, and it's a perfect last line.

Again, I cannot stress enough how much I apologize for not geting Mr. Olson's last name correct. I don't like it when people do that to my name, and it's inexcusable for me to do so to others.

I do apologize, Mr. Olson.

2) To Harlan Ellison: Do not censor yourself out of any attempt at politeness. If you wish to take me to task for expressing my personal opinion, have at it. I will not respond in this dining area, but will respond in the appropriate thread as need be. I absolutely have no problem with people telling me I'm full of shit. I reserve the right to respond to such statements, and I've been known to respond to editors who reject my short stories for such reasons as "that person wouldn't say that", or "if it was only a little more 'fun'". Other than that, I'm used to people telling me I'm full of shit. More times than not, they're right, but I like to at least reserve the right to reply back and try to explain why I'm not full of shit.

Also, apparently, I'm "the" Rich now. Not to be confused with "the" Dick since I'm not a Richard. I can live with "the" Rich, Jan. And I do appreciate you correcting my mistakes; or as you've so charitably called, the typos. Thank you.

Gettin' Paid
Grandmaster Ellison--

First, many congratulations on your most recent honor. As has been opined many times below, it is richly deserved. I'm very happy for you!

Second, your advice about how to negotiate for pay is very helpful. It's been my observation that this is the also way to approach setting a price for music services. There are some folks who are naturally good at this. I am not one of them. I never know what to say,become tongue-tied, and sometimes I think I could get a better deal if I only knew how to go about it. I do better as a sideman than as a leader because I don't have to deal with business. Most of my leader work actually comes from organizations that farm out the work to me. Again, they deal with the money, I deal with the music. I work frequently, but I think I could find even more work and be better paid for the work I do if I knew how to talk about the money.

Your detailed script will be immediately useful to me in my business. I've never seen the process described so well, though I have observed it in others. I think you're also right about the philosophy of getting paid *something* even if isn't much. I do, on occasion, perform at charity functions, but only if it's a charity I personally support. I bet, with a receipt from the organization, I would be able to put a value on the performance and claim the "free" performance as a charitable donation on my taxes. I don't do a ton of this charity work, but sometimes it's easier for me to give time and talent rather than coin.

However, you're right about getting paid. Thank you for taking the time to provide a description of how to do so graciously. I really needed that advice.

To Kelly Brown re: Remakes

Every word in your post left me iniplicabably housebroken.

"It's a jazz joint"
Funny-hmm thing: I was familiar with this site's Forums. I had never gotten around to all the other stuff before returning from the Easter bash.

Only now do I find the Pavilion, & enjoy its mid-tech approach immensely. At its best, it's like a bunch of overcaffeinated fans halfway through the Con who 24 hours previous had been utter strangers clustered tightly about the biggest table in Stuckey's -- asking questions, telling half-remembered stories, spreading scurrilous rumours (often about each other), stepping on each other's lines, blaspheming, planning the next string of adventures.

Or that vicious "game" played by bored jazz bands, where everyone jams up a groove, until the leader's happy with it, then he points at one of the musicians, & that guy at the next change has to stand up & throw out out at least a two-bar solo that dances over the chug. Decent example on the LP "Badfoot Brown & the Bunions Bradford Funeral & Marching Band" -- anybody who likes proto-funk should hunt this down; I think it's got three tracks, of which I recall the aforementioned "Hoybish Shoybish," & "Martin's Funeral" -- with jacket art that reminds me weirdly of "Chocolate Alphabet."

For which a far better soundtrack is definitely the Beat-laced "After the Satellite Sings." Any writers who need an image to butt-kick a stubborn story? Fantastic instruments, a wild mix of styles, & lyrics with barbed edges so they stick in your brain:

Kerouac calls across the years
so gone & out of sight,
"Whither thou goest, America
in thy shiny car in the night?"

Don't talk of faith till you know.

We lived tomorrow yesterday.
Today I'm lost for words
& I no longer understand
the language of the birds.

Towers calling pilgroms
over England of their dreams
-- camera cuts to crucifix & candles.

(Which is to say that I will thenceforward better structure my thoughts toward the Forums as the Pavilion is readily more free coffee than I really need...)

Buried within the Brace O'Teats again
Not much at all has changed, has it people? Almost every essay has a point or two that still resonates today. Mostly the venality we were so naive as to be aghast at as we realized so long ago that war is a racket and somebody seems bent on making damn sure we always have the poor with us just to show the cattle how bad things could get.
It is illegal to bad mouth beef and the madness of George.
Now that I have found this site I hope to visit often.
I was educated by Isaac Asimov and wised up by brother Harlan!

Shine On!

No big deal, I've corrected the Rich's typos in anticipation of him asking me to do so.

Jimmy Olsen's working with Harlan? Whatta scoop!

Went to the S.P.I.D.E.R. Forum thread, to see what I could see.

As usual, Rick, despite using the secret password you gave me, I couldn't log on. I simply have no facility for this e.crap.

Nonetheless, I read Rich's opinions on "The Discarded."

politenesspolitenesspolitenesspolitenesspolitenesspolitenesspoli

Uh, Rich, his name is spelled O L S O N
not "Olsen."

-he

TESS:
Not too much to add to Harlan's reply (duh - as if), but watch out for work-for-hire. Read any contract CAREFULLY for terms that obligate you to everything and them to nothing. Understand that if you do WfH, you do NOT own any characters (unless you get something to the contrary in your contract - and you'll have to work hard to get it), and there are other limitations on the work itself, like reprint rights.

I was lucky: my very first sale (not pro, but a sale nonetheless) was to White Wolf for their first fiction anthology based on their Werewolf game. Since I knew the developer, I was able to get some contractual conscessions that other writers didn't; to wit, I not only have the right to reprint the story as is (with, of course, attribution), but I can rework the story, taking out all the proprietary game stuff, and sell it elsewhere (with a note indicating the story's origin, of course).

It's important to note that contracts can, in many cases and depending on the publisher, be changed; when I got the original contract for "Christus Destitutus", it was a mess that seemed to cede ALL rights to the publisher IN PERPETUITY. When I protested, the acquiring editor said, "So write it the way you want it, and we'll take a look." I did, and they accepted it without objection. Now, I rewrote that damned contract practically from stem to stern; changing the time limit in which they had to publish before the story reverted to me from three years to one year; changing the electronics rights clause; redoing that rights grab; the whole 27 feet. The only thing I didn't mess with was the pay scale, because I was happy enough with that. I resubmitted the contract, and I got paid - and I was the ONLY author in that anthology who did, because I took the time to read and change the terms. Then the publisher killed the book, Tor picked it up, and I got paid AGAIN, but that's not normal, so ignore it.

But it's important to know at the beginning that boilerplate contracts aren't always cast in stone; a legitimate publisher will almost always allow you to make reasonable changes.

And something else to remember, although I think you're already aware of it, is that money flows TO the writer, not away from it. The only place you should ever sign a publisher's check is on the back.

Back to WfH. I know a number of people who do nothing but, and make a pretty good living at it, but it's not for everyone. It's a gig, but the kind of gig that's like you playing guitar behind some smarmy lounge singer at a Holiday Inn in Bayonne trying to look enthusiastic about playing "Tie A Yellow Ribbon" or "Billy Don't be a Hero" for the umpty-umpth time instead of fronting your own band and playing originals. And opening for Green Day. Or White Stripes.

So okay, the metaphor isn't exact, but you get the idea. You'll work just as hard on a gaming module or whatever as you will your own story set in your own world, and you might get paid a little better for it - at first. But the satisfaction of selling a piece from your own head that you sweated blood over...! I've been doing this for almost 15 years now, and it still hasn't gotten old.

Hope this helps.

REPLY TO TESS

Dear Tess:

Thank you for the cheery thoughts. Welcome to the shire.

I now take my sanity in my hands by creating a "tar baby" that will evoke ennnnnnndlesssss back&forthing here, which is what I intend--as long as I'm free of further contribution. So. Here we go, answering your question.

As to "going rates" for freelance, work-for-hire, small magazines and suchlike publications ... well, it's a question innocently, briefly, asked; but unendingly long to answer.

First of all, they'll try to get you to write for nothing. Resist this to the grave. Do not let sidebar considerations and rationalizations such as:

I need the exposure.
Well, it's for a good cause.
Gee, they really are small and don't have much money.
S/he's a friend...a relative...a colleague...a holy man...
S/he's poor...crippled...
I owe him/her a favor.
It's good advertising.
If I do one for free, I'll get more work from her/him.

THESE ARE ALL BOGUS, beside the point, ultimately destructive to your feelings of self-worth and a professional career. From the first job onward, DEMAND PAYMENT. It need't break their bank, but they MUST

THEY MUST

THEY MUST pay you SOMEthing. Why? Because:

1) They pay the printer, the phone company, the landlord, the US post office, the butcher the baker the pizza maker the dentist the doctor the garage mechanic. You are doing WORK FOR HIRE, not work for charity.

(And this "good cause" shit is a scam. Usually, the work you do will benefit THEM because it's their hobby, or their obsession, or their publish-or-perish situation, or to gain the approval of their boss or academics or blah blah blah. You must ACT like a professional, to be treated as a professional.)

2) What people get for nothing, they treat like just what it is, a handout, a freebie, trash, disposable. And they won't proofread it properly, and they'll get shit artwork to accompany it, and they won't remember to send you contributors' copies, and they will come back again and again and mooch from you. And they'll cop a 'tude if you express any displeasure.

3) It takes effort and skill and art for you to produce THAT WHICH FILLS THEIR PAGES!! Without your efforts, they'd have blank pages, and that wouldn't boost their egos at all. So you must demand a decent day's wage for a decent day's work. They seem to think it's just la-dee-dah, no big deal for you to do a stick of writing. THEY cannot do it, but they just KNOW that if they had to, they could write brilliantly, so why should they pay you for doing something they think is just casual sport or hobbyism? Disabuse them! Insist they pay, BEFORE you do the work, and GET IT IN WRITING.

As for "how much," there's no way of setting a golden rule.

Others may post in my lee, but I tell you what IIIIIII know, and what works for me (and has since I was an absolute nobody, first sales not yet made, way back in the 1950s). Others may advise you differently, and that's just fine.

I speak only of what IIIIIIIIII know. Okay?

Here's the way IIIIIIIIII work:

I let them lay out their request (usually by phone, I don't do e.mail)(but letters are good, too). Then I say--and if you quote my method, USE THESE EXACT WORDS, without divergence--"And what is the pay-scale?"

And they will usually say something like, "Oh, we don't pay. Maybe a couple of copies of the chapbook/magazine/newsletter/trade publication/blahblahblah."

And I say, "I'm a professional writer. I work for pay. You wouldn't ask your dentist to clean your teeth for nothing, would you?"

Uh...no...they'll say, wary, and already seeing where this is going, because they are mooches (what we call in Yiddish, schnorers).

"You wouldn't expect a doctor to give you a flu shot for nothing, would you? Why, I'll bet you wouldn't even think of not paying a delivery guy for bringing the pizza to your door...

"Would you?" And leave that hanging heavily.

They will mumble some shit about "nobody else is getting paid," and YOU will reply nicely, "Life is not a comparison of Chamber of Horrors. Just because others are foolish, or amateur, that doesn't mean I should be. I'm a professional..." you cannot say this enough times, and stress the consonants, "...and if others choose to give away their wares, that's up to them. I work for pay."

THEN--and I GUARRRRRRRRANTEE this--they will say, "Well, how much do you want

or

"How much do you charge?"

And YOU reply, nicely and rationally, "Well, no, I don't have a set rate of payments; every writing job entails different efforts. But you make me an offer. If it's too low or insulting, I'll laugh in your face. If it's more than I expected, I'll keep my mouth shut and accept it."

They will chuckle at that pragmatism. I promise you they will.

THEN>>>>>>>>

(every time, s'help me, unless they're REAL schnorers, in which case you're well rid of them without having wasted your time and talent)

They will say, "Well, is a hundred dollars too little?"

And YOU WILL SAY (exactly this): "Well, that's a bit light, is there anything you can do to take the air out of it?"

And they will say, "How about two hundred?"

or "How about $125?"

If the former, say, "That'd be fine. Here's my address, send me a letter with those terms, and when I get it, I'll start right to work."

If the latter, that's straining their bank account, and you say, "That's very gracious of you, I'll accept and start to work as soon as we can put all this in a letter from you...etcetera."

Now there are other refinements, and such topics as "kill-fees" and getting a chance to copy-edit/proofread your galleys before they go to press, and on and on, but there are actually

BOOKS ON WRITING that have all of this information in them.

You should know most of this by now.

But always get THEM to set the price.

That way they think it's their idea, and how magnificent they are.

I will answer no further on this topic, though I know it will set the cat among the pigeons and you (and the other incipient writers who lurk here) will be raising point after silly point that commonsense should offer up to solution by Occam's Razor...but mostly because this is a tar baby into which I will no more deeply thrust my paws.

Yr. pal, Harlan

Being a Professional Writer
Dear Ms. Arnold,

I am a writer of historical works, not fiction, but you might consider joining the organization that just awarded our honoured host his Grandmaster title, The Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers of America, and getting Locus Magazine. This would be a good way to get access to the professional side of the profession. Also, keep in mind Harlan's wise words: "Becoming a writer is easy; staying a writer is hard."

I did have a feeling that I baited Harlan and I too am sorry for raising the hairs on my Bard's neck. I was being immature, playing up the stereotype that some on this board think is my true nature.

Being on this board is lots of fun, beyond the strokes at my mental state, but I will always enjoy our jousts, even when the sharp stick gets a bit too close to my third eye.

Harlan, thanks for yelling at me. I sometimes need to be taken down a peg. Better to be taken down by someone I trust, then someone who just wants to be mean.

Better that we all raise the mental guise of this place. I do have fun here, even when I don't show it.

--------

George Bush being President once again proves that the dumb claque among us are availing of the speed dial to Satan more abundantly.

I have been an avid reader of this board for about a year now. Originally I came here just to find anything else Harlan had written. I was pleasantly surprised to find not only his commentary but a whole host of erudite thinkers making their minds known as well. Many a night have I had a chuckle or insight on account of the postings I read. In the sea of swill that is the modern electronic media I have to thank everyone for rising above the level of the common flotsam.
Now that I've got the flattery out of my system, I'll get to something like the point.
I have noticed that, other than Harlan, there are a few writers that post on this forum. I have recently left a job in television production - the technical side - to pursue my dream of writing full time. All is going well at the moment, but I have a question that perhaps some of you could assist me with.
I know what the rates are for various magazines - so many cents per word and such - but I have no idea about industry standard for work-for-hire pieces or for treatments or for scripts or well, just about anything. (If there even is such a thing as an industry standard for that matter.) I don't even know in what range to start gauging my fees. Any help you could provide would be greatly appreciated.

One of my favorite quotes by Harlan is, "there are two types of information; information I have and infromation I know how to get".

You, collectively, are my first stop along that route. I thank you in advance for any directions you may have for getting further down the line.

Tess

PS. Congratulations on the Grandmaster award Harlan. It's good to see the world isn't completely blind when it comes to recognizing a good thing.

That's More Like It!!
Great entries from people either new to the site or long-time lurkers posting insightful entries into "The Man And His Work."

Very refreshing.

Now excuse me while I schlep my old, weatherbeaten ass outta here….

Dammit, Paul, dude...
That made an old fan cry. (Now the cat's rolling his eyes at me, & it's not like they need any more reason to feel smug.) Well-told, certainly.

That's the "secret ingredient" of all the HE Legacy stuff: caring that the words get read.

I had much the same motivation in asking Ellison to sign my crappy old Belmont pocketsize of "From the Land of Fear." I wouldn't say it contains HE's best stuff, not the most (ugh) collectible item on my shelves, or that it's even a decent edition... but it's the copy my Mom sent me decades ago in a "care package" with a bunch of other paperbacks & stuff, & it is the one I've probably (for a guy who rarely rereads ANYthing) read five or six times. It's the book where both fiction & commentary leap out at me, & I hit the end feeling as though I've touched magic... almost... almost... & I put the delivery system back to wait & see what fascinating fungi appear after that welcome rain.

I guess I wanted to complete the circle or something suchlike.

Grandmaster speech
Where will Harlan Ellison's Grand Master speech be published?

Nebulas redux- just wanted to share
Just before the food arrived, Harlan stood, raised his glass and boomed, " To Robert Sheckley!!" We raised our glasses and I thought, '...and thus it begins.'
And it was tremendously nice.

I only have one simple, personal story.
So I have this book. It's the DREAMS WITH SHARP TEETH omnibus. First printing. Bought it the week it came out. I was twenty-one yrs old.
Now, I had read a whole lot of stuff by that point (I was a wee early reader, as i suspect were many of us) and had just discovered several really good stories by Harlan Ellison. When this book came out i was,"Yes! Right on! I can gorge all I want!" Which is what i did. It is, as you may know, a psychic overload for someone only mildly acquainted with the man's work. I read that damn thing cover to cover. Then again, noting the dates and feeling out the attitudes and emotions of the times resonating upon the pages. Then I read it again. Then again. Then I read it aloud to my girlfriend, one at a time, not in order, until I swear she had heard every one in the book. Then to my friends. Then I loaned it out a few times, always grabbing it back before the cat had read half of one of the books therein.
"But, I'm not done!" came their plaintive voices.
"Buy one, you git." came my heartfelt response.
This omnibus was carried from house to house, job to job. It rested in backpacks and sofa cushions. My then girlfriend carried it in her car's backseat for months and it went travelling to several states with us, always there waiting to be read, dangerous and lovely. Literature with a knife behind its back. We are talkin' here about an important book to me. Better than A book; a collection of books. I learned things. I was moved.
We fast forward to present day Arizona.
I stand in line because I would like Mssr. Ellison to sign this wonderful treasure, and a CD I had as well. I wasn't going to ask for a personalized 'To so-and-so'. The line was far too long and I don't need such things. Now, I'm no naive waif, I've met some pretty spectacular people in my life and I like to think of myself as a pretty unflappable guy. But I admit to some excitement mixed with some nervousness. The man is a fucking ICON fer chrissakes. My lady, Kathy, and I came to the front and we all chatted pleasantly for a minute. Harlan signed a couple books for Kat and I opened the PALADIN OF THE LOST HOUR CD and presented it to him. He looked at me, then down at the CD, then over to Kat and asked, " Does he always shake like that?"
I kid you not, I never realized, I had motion in my hands like a 50 year drunk going on 3 days of D.T.s.
We laughed, Harlan signed the liner notes and I slid my DWST across the counter. The cover was off, I just lifted it to get to the title page and you could see sections that had come free of the binding. Harlan did an 'aw shucks' grimace and said, " Hell, we can get you a good copy. Susan, do we have a copy?" Susan was sitting at the sale table fornent him and said, "No, we don't." I started to explain that it was okay, I was going to get another anyway, it was THIS one I wanted signed, to say what the book had been for me and all that fanboy jive, then he actually saw it, really SAW it for the first time. The sections (plural) that were loose. The original spine paper disappeared years ago and the sections came apart with binding intact, so that I needed to duct tape the entire 2 1/4 inch spine just so i could keep it in order. Individual pages coming loose. A brandy stain here and there. Yellowed some. Loved. Harlan held it up to his chest, kinda awkward, because it does have four main pieces, and said quietly. "Susan, did you see this?"
He set the book down and he leans in to me (I'm still not sure how he managed to do this sitting down, but he did), laid a patronly hand upon the book as in Benediction, and says, "I gotta tell ya, this means more to me than the damn award."
Harlan uncapped his fountain pen and added 'To Paul'.
I don't know who was happier.
Mr Ellison, as before, congratulations, thank you and may your inkwell never run dry.
paul

Remakes

On the subject of remakes and in particular Poseidon I'm not against them entirely.

Tarzan for example. I never tire of Tarzan retellings. For me, Lord of Greystoke has been my favourite (and the Ron Ely stuff but that's only because I was wee and you always remember your first) but I'll happily gather friends and head out to lastest re-imaging/telling.

King Kong. For some you still can't beat the original. Not so with me.

Do I want them to remake Dr. Strangelove? No, because certain things don't stand up to a remake but when the story itself is more elemental then I think it's fine and sometimes very fine to freshen it up for a new audience.

I believe disaster movies are good candidates and I'm be heading out to Poseidon soon.

That being said I would must rather see something new. And fiction, not someone's life story. Something I've never read or heard of people made up out of someone's head for me to enjoy.

Campbell, and the Soul saving powers of Ellison
It has been a long time since I delved into Campbell. I certainly found his ideas intriguing, but he relied far to much (in my VERY humble opinion) on the works of Freud and Jung, two authors who I find less then trustworthy. Being the modern lil' Biochem/history major that I am, I don't place much cognizance on the idea of the collective unconscious and such. However, I did find Campbell’s use of them interesting, especially from an Archeological point of view.

Sam:

You are not the first to be powerfully affected by a story of Harlan's. My personal favorite, however, has to be a story he wrote called "Grail." That story brought me through some very dark times in my life. Despite being very dark itself, it gave me a feeling, at a very, very unpleasant time in my life, that there was SOMEBODY ELSE who understood what the hell I was feeling. Other stories have had different effects, especially "Paingod," the story which elevated Harlan in my mind from "Ok, this guy has talent" to "Greatest. Writer. Ever. Must. Read. More." I can only speak for myself, but I suspect others have had a similar Ellison experience. At least, that is what I find among my other friends who enjoy Ellison. Interestingly, I have no enemies who read Ellison. I suspect that this says something very deep about great minds thinking alike and having similar tastes, but I will leave that question for the Jungians in the Pavilion.

Unca Harlan's reference to William Irwin Thompson made me smile. I discovered Thompson's writings when I was just out of college and still besotted with the intellectual hubris of the freshly graduated. Thompson's IMAGINARY LANDSCAPE and THE TIME FALLING BODIES TAKE TO LIGHT turned my head around two or three times. At around the same time I also discovered both Joseph Campbell's THE HERO WITH A THOUSAND FACES and Bruno Bettelheim's THE USES OF ENCHANTMENT. The combined influence of these books was to persuade me that there is more truth in fiction than in fact, and that to dismiss something as false by saying "that's only a myth" is to miss the entire point of mythology.

My copies of Thompson's books have been gathering dust for too long. I need to dig them out and renew acquaintances.

Steve J.

I just read 'Paladin of the Lost Hour' for the second time in my life. Man, I love that story. I hope there is a place where all the things we've lost in life are found. Thanks for a bit of hope.

Campbell's THE HERO WITH A THOUSAND FACES is a personal favorite of mine; an acadmeic tome that's actally informative rather than snoozeworthy. THE POWER OF MYTH is also enjoyable.

Stacy

Author's reading for charity
ALL: Any of you NY or Jersey denizens of Webderland should check out Stephen King's or JK Rowling's website: both are advertising a charity reading headlined as "An Evening With Harry, Carrie and Garp." King, Rowling and John Irving will be reading at Radio City Music Hall in August. Proceeds go to benefit Doctors Without Borders and the Haven Foundation, both good causes.
--DTS

MR. BROCK:

Joseph Campbell and his insights rank very high in my personal pantheon of Great People and Great Ideas to pay attention to. Campbell has long been a cornerstone of my ethos and, yes, it can be isolating to have found your own way in a venue where too many people lockstep their thinking. By the way, if you are brightened by Campbell, might I recommend THE TIME FALLING BODIES TAKE TO LIGHT: Mythology, Sexuality & the Origins of Culture by William Irwin Thompson (St. Martin's Press, 1981, 280 pp., $14.95 in hardcover back then). A remarkable item.

Yr. pal, Harlan

I just ran the original Poseidon Adventure - mostly in protest to yet another pointless remake (we may not be talkin' Citizen Kane here, but...Jeezus...y'know...) - to refresh myself. In spite of all the cliches (were they cliches in 1872?), in spite of the illogical potholes (not a single passenger is informed about the situation; and it's never quite clear about the equipment issue: something about ballast, being topheavy, and a damn pump), it's a LOT of fun. The effects work by L.B. Abbot are beautiful. Gene Hackman and Ernest Borgenine are great fun to watch. And that mother of a WAVE off Athens is a haunting sight - particularly in this post-tsunami era.

And this movie speaks to another terrible era we're living in: ANOTHER kind of tsunami, the reign of the corporate mind. Irwin Allen may have been a dork to work with, but he took major shots at CEOs - how much we can be at their mercy if we look too long the other way - in both PA and Towering Inferno and it holds an eerie relevance now. For that I have to praise both his flicks.

Yeah, it's another unnecessary remake.

We've some weird assholes running the studios right now, of an even worse breed than those of the past (and that's saying a LOT).

Infinite Crisis continued
Alan Coil: I have heard some of the same rumors but it is probably best to discuss this on the thread I started on the other board.

Discarded
Iain,

You'll find "The Discarded" in PAINGOD & OTHER DELUSIONS. HERC may still have copies for sale. If not, PAINGOD is available as an ebook at www.ereader.com and the short story is available at www.fictionwise.com, if you don't mind reading on computer/pda.

Bests,

--tr

Thanks for the info. Benjamin Winfield, wasn't aware it was a (short?) story originally. Is it one of Harlan's? If so which collection is it contained in. Sorry if I sound like a complete airhead but I've been kinda out of the loop since the Edgeworks series was shelved. Had been hoping to buy all of these and then maybe scour around for any missing works.

Thanks again. Iain.

Just wanted to extend a welcome and hearty handshake to Edward Brock. And don't worry about us. We're a spirited and well-read bunch, but mostly harmless.

We've all had our shots.


Chuck

Shane, ditto! But it's quite understandable, as your Team Ellison mothering instincts were in overdrive and, after all, you must keep them safe, happy and well-fed as the Author Liaison (or whatever it is they called you in the program).

It was almost cute.....reminding them what time they had to be back at the hotel to prep for panels, pulling the car up to the exit to keep them safe and clean while the Rotor Rooter men tore up the sewage at the side of the hotel, finding the best local shopping for underwear and socks. You kept them in line and happy the way my mother used to with my 85 year-old grandparents when she moved them out here to Arizona under her protection.

Hmmmmm, I wonder if Harlan could use you as a permanent fixture in Sherman Oaks?

Looking forward to saying, "Hey, I know that mutant" when you appear on teevee. I wonder if his beard will be as well groomed.....

-TODD

Myths Abounding

Harlan,

I have always been intrigued by your opinion (oops, sorry, your "informed opinion") and usually enjoy your essays and story introductions more than the stories themselves. As such, I have often sought out interviews & appearances that would showcase this aspect of your career. Your appearances on "Politically Incorrect" was the primary reason I watched the show. That said, I'm hoping you'll share your opinion on a specific topic.

I was raised Baptist (scary isn't it?), but had this annoying habit of asking too many questions when it came to the stories in the Bible. As I got older & more curious, I began studying my religion (unlike so many other professed believers) & quickly discovered that there was much more to the story than I was being told. I broadened my studies into other beliefs & found that there was this whole other world of ideas out there. I've come to conclusion that religion & the "sacred texts" that guide them are simply allegory & metaphor, and the literalism we are shackled with today is the result of politics not a divine source.

The works of Joseph Campbell have had a profound effect on my life & opened my eyes to this new way of thinking. I suspect that you are familiar with his work & I would love to get your opinion on his ideas. By the way, openly professing a love of Campbell's work, your own writings & the comedy of George Carlin has left me with few friends in our conservative little town, so I am here seeking new & open minds to share with.

Thanks again for your time,
Edward

P.S. I don't want to start a "religious debate/war" in the Dining Pavilion (though I love discussing the subject), I'm simply curious of your opinions of Campbell's works since both of you have influenced my life greatly.

apology

to the extent that I may have baited Frank, or that he felt so, I am sorry.

Sincerely,
Rick

Get with the program guys

What about the fact that we are guests here do some of you guys not understand?

I have been a fan of Mr. Ellison's for nearly 25 years, and it makes me very happy to have a place where I can keep up with what The Grand Master is up to these days.

Please do not force Harlan to deliver on his threat.

I usually lurk here but I visit this site daily for my HE fix. Do not ruin it for those of us who act respectfully. If you can't be happy, go somewhere else and cause your pitiful mayhem.

Harlan, thank you for everything.

Tim Lowe

Three things of various importance.
TIM: Please extend to Andrea, Alexa, and yourself my condolences on the death of John Morris. Reminiscences ease the pain of loss for me and I it does for you as well.

TODD: It was good seeing you again and I'm sorry we didn't have more time to talk.

Susan: I'm sorry, but I forgot to ask if you'd received the envelope. Did you and was all as you'd expected?

Gah-DAMMIT, Church!

Knock off that casual insult bullshit. Knock it off NOW. I wasn't fuckin' kidding when I said I'd implode this whole site if people didn't behave, and I was at least 33% referring to YOU.

No more wienie-bite remarks. To ANYone.

I'd hate to see you go, Frank, because I kinda like you, but I will NOT parent yet another dumbass website that allows random ad hominem crapola.

That was your last sortie. Silence hangs waiting.

Harlan

How exciting, talk about Superboy. Makes me want to run for the nearest broom and sweep up the big crumbs.

Boring, guys, really.

----------

"N.C. - The question of Syria is a separate one. Yes, Lebanon is expected to play a role for putting pressure on Syria. However, the problem for the US is that Syria is not a subordinate state. There are a lot of serious criticisms you can make about Syria, but the internal problems of that country are of no special concern to the US, which supports much more brutal governments. The problem with Syria is that it simply does not subordinate itself to the US program in the Middle East. Syria and Iran are the two countries in the region that have not accepted US economic arrangements. And the policies against such countries are similar. Take the bombing of Serbia in 1999, for example. Why was Serbia an enemy? Certainly it wasn’t because of the atrocities it was carrying out. We know that the bombing was carried out with the expectation that it would lead to a sharp escalation in atrocities. We know the answer from the highest level of the Clinton administration, and the answer was that Serbia was not adopting the proper social and economic reforms. In fact, it was the one corner of Europe which was still rejecting the socioeconomic arrangements that the US wanted to dictate for the world. The problem with Syria and Iran is more or less the same. Why is the US planning or threatening war against Iran? Is it because Iran has been aggressive? On the contrary, Iran was the target of US backed aggression. Is Iran threatening anybody? No. Is Iran more brutal and less democratic than the rest of the Arab world? It’s a joke. The problem is that Iran is not subordinating."

Noam Chomsky.

------------

Rick Keeney, hey new guy, bite my weenie.

It's Grand Master

I went to the SFWA site and got the correct title.

Re: Superboy

The rights to use Superboy are currently being fought over between DC Comics and the Siegel family. The Siegel family won the latest court battle, but DC ic appealing the ruling.

If the Siegel family regains the rights to Superboy, DC would have to lease the rights to use Superboy again.

The next sentence reveals a plot point about Identity Crisis; read it at your own risk.

This has led to speculation that this is why the Superboy character has currently been written out of DC continuity.

Nice post on Infinite Crisis, Dooner. The 'Last Adventures of Superman' Infinite Crisis issue of Adventures of Superman took the meta and ran with it. Not since Kingdom Come has a major crossover series been so much about competing ideas of what comic book heroes should be.

I do sorta wonder if Johns also intends to clean up the Superboy of Earth-Prime problem at a later date. Why Earth-Prime -- the Earth where the comic book adventures of DC characters were published and where Cary Bates, Martin Pasko, Curt Swan and Julius Schwarz all lived -- would produce a real Superboy from Krypton when it apparently already had a fictional Superboy from Krypton is a bit...problematic, one of those loose threads left over from the more-woeful-than-wonderful Crisis on Infinite Earths.

Given the dialogue at one point about Superboy-Prime not automatically being teleported back to Earth-Prime when he left the vicinity of the Anti-Monitor Machine because he'd apparently "changed too much", I have a strange feeling we'll be learning his "true" origin in Superboy: The Jailbreak. Just a guess. I have a feeling his rocket accidentally entered the Earth-Prime universe through a dimensional gateway from Earth-9007 or something like that.

It also wouldn't surprise me if he'd been possessed by some remaining fragment of the Anti-Monitor.

Cheers, Jon

Probably best to move this to the other forum. I said pretty much what I wanted to say, but I'd be willing to discuss it further with other people who read the issue.

Steve, your points have some merit to them and I wouldn't fault the idea behind them, but the execution of said ideas turns my stomach. I try not to come off some kind of Pollyanna, but the excessive gore and nihilism of the issue, the sheer pointlessness of the whole affair led me to make my decree and walk away from DC. I might come back when I cool down, but at time of writing I doubt it.

Rick, could you delete my old Stacy Dooks profile on the Webderland forum? I'll be damned if I can remember my password.

Thanks,

Stacy

Up Up and Away!
Hey you INFINITE CRISIS, Superboy and Wonder Woman fans have I got a good'en for you! Grove Press has come out with the Samuel Beckett: Grove Centenary Edition (what a coincidence, it's the hundreth year of Beckett's birth), a hardcover collection.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0802118313/qid=1147363059/sr=2-1/ref=pd_bbs_b_2_1/002-3638291-1052809?s=books&v=glance&n=283155

You Comic Book fans will love it! Trust me! It's an epic of good vs evil with quirky characters.

Iain Cullen,

Read the story. That's pretty much all the initiation you'll need.

Infinite Crisis
I am going to start a thread over on the Pop Culture section of the other boards to discuss this in greater detail, but my thoughts on the just completed Infinite Crisis match more closely to Stacy's perspective than Steve's.

My biggest problem with the series was that there was no real point to it. Crisis on Inifinite Earths, for better or worse, cleaned up the continuity issues that had been plaguing the DC Universe. Bringing it back to one definitive time line helped streamline the stories.

What, exactly did this series, that was supposed to reshape the DC Universe do? They killed off one character that had not been seen since the mid-80s, effectively destroyed anything related to Superboy, took out a whole bunch of minor heroes and villains but otherwise not much changed.

In discussion with one of the guys from my local comic shop, he stated that it cleaned up some continuity issues that had been a problem in the current DC universe. In the aftermath of the previously mentioned Crisis on Inifinite Earths, Wonder Woman was not a founder of the Justice League and Superboy never existed. Both these things have been changed after the events of Infinite Crisis.

For more discussion on the series, including the bizarre dichotomy of the quality of artwork within issue 7, it probably would be best to move this to the other board.

Derek Anderson, I am curious where you picked up a copy of Again, Dangerous Visions. Was it Uncle Hugo's? Most stores in the Twin Cities, other than Dreamhaven, have a very limited selection of Harlan books.

Well it looks as though y'all didn't scare me off. It's good to see that some sanity has been restored to the Forum.
Harlan I've seen a lot of discussion regarding 'The Discarded'.
Any chance you could enlighten the uninitiated?

Regards to all. Hope to get to know some of you better over time.

Iain

Catty remarks; Harlan's works-in-progress
DEREK: I've seen that here and there, now and then, in books picked up at used bookstores and libraries. The worst example was when I ran across a first edition of THE WATER-METHOD MAN at the University of Texas in Austin. The previous owner, who had donated the rare book to the library, had taken the time to write criticisms of Irving's writing in the margins. Although critics often do so in galleys and manuscript copies -- to remind them of what they want to say in a review or whatever --my feeling is that most of the time these notes are the attempt by someone to gain a bit of posterity, a small bit of immortality, by riding the coattails (or pages) of someone else.
I could be wrong.

HARLAN: Sounds like a flurry of activity is under way at Casa de Ellison. As ever, can't wait to see the final product when "The Discarded" is filmed, and read the new material coming out in that book of uncollected fiction AND the Darkhorse "Dream Corridor" book that seems to be scheduled for August (or thereabouts).

All best to you and Susan,

DTS

Catty remarks; Harlan's works-in-progress
DEREK: I've seen that here and there, now and then, in books picked up at used bookstores and libraries. The worst example was when I ran across a first edition of THE WATER-METHOD MAN at the University of Texas in Austin. The previous owner, who had donated the rare book to the library, had taken the time to write criticisms of Irving's writing in the margins. Although critics often do so in galleys and manuscript copies -- to remind them of what they want to say in a review or whatever --my feeling is that most of the time these notes are the attempt by someone to gain a bit of posterity, a small bit of immortality, by riding the coattails (or pages) of someone else.
I could be wrong.

HARLAN: Sounds like a flurry of activity is under way at Casa de Ellison. As ever, can't wait to see the final product when "The Discarded" is filmed, and read the new material coming out in that book of uncollected fiction AND the Darkhorse "Dream Corridor" book that seems to be scheduled for August (or thereabouts).

All best to you and Susan,

DTS

Again, Dangerous Visions -- Rebuttal Edition
The other day, I picked up a Book Club Edition of AGAIN, DANGEROUS VISIONS at a local bookstore. When I got it home and started reading it, I noticed that a previous owner had written their own commentary on Harlan's introductions in the margins of the book. Most of the comments are reactions to the more controversial ideas expressed, but some of them are just downright catty.

I think it's funny that this person not only BOUGHT the book if they felt so strongly that Harlan was a bad guy, but then took the time to WRITE IT ALL DOWN in the margins!

Anyone else ever found anything similar?

Best,

Derek

another alternative to oreos
Far be it from me to hawk wares like careless loogies, but Paul Newman has a brand of cookies in the oreo/hydrox milieu that I'm quite taken with. I used to love Oreos ...until that happy innocence was ripped from me by Unca Harlan's cringe-inducing speculation on the origins of the filling.

On the plus side, after a decade of drifting, berefit of cookie allegience, I discovered Newmans' cookies. I'm not sure of the hows or whys, but the wafers alone are better - they don't leave a greezy residue on teeth or tongue. As if this were not enough, there are several delightful variations on theme that my harsh Oreo masters of old ne'er were broadminded enough to consider. Chief among this pantheon is the delectable ginger wafer (with conventional filling).

I submit this for your perusal, and bid you all good day.

Too little sleep makes for errors
...an I was often torn between my facination with your stories...
Should have read
...and I was often torn between my fascination with your stories...

Harlan:
Laurie just got home from work and when I read her your missive she clapped her hands and squealed with delight when I got to the part about the mutant named Shellenbarger. I thank you for making both of our days.

Yr. Pal, Shane

You are welcome.
Harlan,
Susan called to let me know that the books had arrived. As I told her, do not worry, as there was more than enough money. In fact, I mailed back a check with the difference and the UPS receipts.

As for my mothering you, I love and worry about the two of you, ya big galoot, an I was often torn between my facination with your stories and my concern that it was nearing 2 a.m. and well past your and Susan's sleepy-bye time.

ANOTHER mutant named Shellenbarger? Thanks, Harlan, you're a mensch.

Yr. PAL, Shane

Harlan's next book of uncollected stories
Dear Harlan,

Can't tell ya how much I'm looking forward to that next collection you talked about. Especially the new stories your finishing up: "I Weep for the Clone of John Barrymore,"The Man Who Searched for Sweetness," "Sticks and Stones May Break Your Bones," "The Final Ghastly Experiment of the Son of Doctor Moreau," and "Pet" (Glad to learn you're gonna finish that last one, too. Even if Clive Barker DID figure out the ending during an Hour 25 interview, I've always thought it make for a dynamite read and hoped you'd finish it anyway. And I STILL watch to make sure critters don't get in before my garage door closes).
I'm familiar with your other uncollected stories -- "From A to Z in the Sarsaparilla Alphabet," "Don't Goy Me Down," "The Mini-Mall of Time Sweetness," "Killing the Shadow Toad," "Goodbye to All That," "Incognita, Inc.," "Loose Cannon, or Rubber Duckies From Space," and "The Toad Prince, or Sex Queen of the Martian Pleasure Domes" -- so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that one (or all three) of the unnamed stories might be reworkings of "Bring On the Dancing Frogs," "Back2Back," "Introducing Bobby Pleshette" and/or "Love Amid the Ruins."

Heck even if those last three or four aren't included, I'll still race through the book like a rabid librarian. Thanks for the update.
Yer number one fay-yunn,
Annie

Can't Agree WIth You, Stacy

Stacy:

If you think the heroic ideal was lost in DC's Infinite Crisis mini-series, I think you should look more closely at the book. Geoff Johns made the point--very distinctly--that perfect people cannot be heroic. If one is all powerful or flawless, one has nothing to overcome. Indeed, perfection itself would become a vice in an imperfect world. This book is meant as a fable about how the modernized versions of DC's heroes can recover a little of the heroic quality they had in the 40s.

Johns' mini-series is a work of meta-fiction, where competing ideas about Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman and the DC Universe are all set against each other, and the various characters then duke it out to see which idea is the best for telling stories about truly heroic action. It even quite humorously created a "Superboy" character who complains about the imperfections of modern comic heroes in a voice not unlike that of a "fanboy." That Superboy turns into the great monster of the series, and it is his self-concious and arrested nostalgia that destroys the Golden Age Superman in the story. Yet, Johns slyly remarks that the real Superman can never die, and so, one must conclude that the intention is to better embody the classic Superman in the modern version.

There are certainly a lot of grounds to criticize the book--like the inconsistent artwork, for instance, but that is another matter. Yet, the book seems to be addressing exactly the point that you criticize it for. The end of the series even has Batman rejoin the Batman family to search for his true self, and Wonder Woman and Superman embark on similar quests as well. These three great heroes are actually being restored to there essence in this book, and the entire "Infinite Crisis" story is meant as a referendum in the "dark" comics of the 1980s.

The real change in comics today derives not from a lost idea of the hero, but from the demands of the audience for which they are written, which is adolescent, semi-adult and adult readers who purchase their books directly at a comic book store.

Mainstream comics are no longer written for children and are no longer under any kind of "Code" system. Naturally, then, they have some of the same vices as the comics of the 1930s, back when Superman was excessively violent and Batman liked to break an occasional neck or machine gun villains to death. Those comics were simplified version of the pulps with illustrations, and today comics are not meant to be funny books where Batman gets hit by a pie, or where Superman breaks his toe by dropping one of Lois' fresh baked biscuits on it. (Actually, I secretly wish comics could occasionally bring the funny. It's a significant problem with the medium today, and it's why no one can write Captain Marvel anymore).

However, you picked the wrong focus for your anger. Geoff Johns is actually a romantic comic writer who admires very much the heroes of the 30s and 40s and has revived many of them in his tenure on the comic, JSA. He is not coming from the same place as Grant Morrison, an author whom you seem to admire, I assume, because you are purchasing his Seven Soldiers series. Morrison is much more modern writer in his sensibility than Johns, and his comics are significantly darker.

Respectfully,

Steve Dooner

FRANKFRANKFRANK

would you please for the love-a Mike, get yourself a dictionary?!! please?

for god's sake..."dreampt?" jesus

you make my eyes hurt


Rick

Is it Grand Master or Grandmaster?

I have seen it both ways over the last week, both here and elsewhere.

Harlan,

Congratulations!

And make sure you are getting enough sleep. "You're not Superman, you know." (May Parker)

An Open Letter to DC Comics Upon Finishing INFINITE CRISIS # 7.
[Just had to get this out of my system. I put in on my livejournal but I thought I'd share it here too. Dooks makes another comics-based pos surprise surprise. Anyway, here it is for whatever it's worth:]

Dear DC Comics,

These things are never easy to say, so I'm just going to come right out and say it; I'm leaving you. We've had some wonderful times over the years but I think it's best that I just strike my tent and move on with my life. Clearly you have goals and aspirations you're striving toward that I don't really want to be a party to anymore.

If my tone seems glib, it's to cover the deep-seated sense of betrayal. What happened to us? You've been in my life for as long as I can remember. I learned to read from Fisher-Price's SUPERMAN: FROM KRYPTON TO METROPOLIS. My Superman lunchbox was a prized possession. I had a Superman light-switch fixture that glowed in the dark. I read every comic, every edition of WHO'S WHO like it was pertinent data relevant to my life. When my soul got crushed by being held back in the sixth grade, I wasn't saddened as my contemporaries moved on because I still had my friends in the Teen Titans, the Justice League, the Outsiders. I still had Superman as a moral figure in my life. I treated SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE as holy writ when I was five. It was the proof! The evidence! As much as my parents and George Lucas, you've had an influence on my moral upbringing as a human being. Perhaps it was just another writing job, or another inking or pencilling gig, but you -had an impact- on one young Canadian's life. One that I'm deeply and truly grateful for.

But now I don't think I want to be affiliated with you any more. What you've done to your characters--characters I don't own true but nevertheless have a proprietary interest in--is just saddening. Why is it that in anywhere but the medium in which they originated your heroes are treated with respect and reverence? The trailer for SUPERMAN RETURNS is nothing less than sheer awesome. INIFINITE CRISIS was nothing less than sheer hell.

Now, I'm not naive. You're a business entity. You're trying to sell papers in a media that is rapidly losing ground to video games, television, and the Internet. Its intimidating, no doubt. These are hard times, we're all feeling the crunch. But in the haste to appeal to the audience you have you've gone down a road I can no longer follow. Shock tactics and gore do not endear a reader to your wares. And yeah, maybe I'm being an old maid but to me the whole point of Superman or boy is the heroic ideal. And you killed it sir. You killed the heroic ideal dead. The Golden Age Superman started this medium. He was the first and the brightest example of what two Jewish boys from Cleveland hoped and dreamed in Ohio in the the 1930s. Yeah, they were looking to make a buck too but if they could spin a fun yarn that'd entertain kids while they were at it they were all for that. What you did disgraces the memory of Jerry Siegel, it cheapens the work of Joe Shuster, and it makes everyone who has ever read or followed or invested time and energy in your characters feel nothing but a mixture of betrayal, hurt, and anger.

We lived in an increasingly messed-up world, of that there is no doubt. The environment is rapidly being shot to hell, we have idiots in power yelling at other idiots in power, hands caressing the nuclear button with ill-concealed bloodlust. We have politicians who lie, sports stars who abuse drugs and women, an increasingly apathetic world that has little or nowhere to turn to for anything hopeful or optimistic. Was it such a crime, such an intolerable sin to leave one area, one place in this world unsullied and untouched by the depressing and deconstructionist bloodshed? Would it have been so wrong to have a medium where good guys were good, bad guys were bad, and at the end of the day if you were true to yourself and did the right thing everything would turn out okay? Was it worth it to throw all that out the window to make some petty cash? Was it easier to have Batman blowing up cop cars, waving guns in people's faces? Was it easier to have villains turn out to be rapists? Was it better to turn everything we believe in into a deconstructionist morass of complete and utter tripe?

I'll stick around long enough to finish Grant Morrison's work on Seven Soldiers and All-Star Superman, but after that we're finished with each other. I can't do it anymore; the okeydoke only works so many times, you can only charge at the football again and again until you reach a point where you realize it's never going to change. I liked the Authority once. I liked the idea of more adult-themed stories. But you can't ram the square peg of 'realism' into the round hole of fantasy and expect a perfect fit. Superheroes are meant to entertain children, they're meant to provide an example of upward and morally right behavior. And don't feed me the line of shit about 'kids don't read comics anymore'. They're out there, you've created an entire line to draw them in for God's sake. What you've done is horrible, not only for the readers who've been with you since the beginning, but for the poor kid whose mother might pick up a copy of INFINITE CRISIS #7 at a Wal-Mart or in a Borders airport outlet as a gift for the kid and their first exposure to Superboy will be him murdering Kal-L and cutting the S-symbol into his bare chest.

I hope it was worth it.

Sincerely,

Stacy Dooks

Alberta, Canada.

I had this fetish about reading Harlan at every turn. I ate Harlan and dreampt Harlan, day in, day out. Harlan was on my cereal box, in my wash and on my television hawking Ivory Soap. Harlan would have been my child's name, but so far I have given up any notion about having my spawn crawl upright or otherwise. Harlan could be the guest on Leno and Letterman every night for ten years and I would still be sitting there, in front of the glaring neon box, popcorn and pizza boxes scattered, beer bong at the ready--in the shape of a medusa. Harlan, Harlan, Harlan, is what I would scream during sex, sending the woman of my dreams (or nightmares) to the nearest shrink.

Years later, I cooled down; my Harlan fetish became a friendship, between book and brain cell. Even though I read Harlan a lot, I have mellowed out. My crack addiction graduated into moderation universal.

Harlan's books are now like eating good truffles. Eat a little, love a lifetime.

-------------

Michael Albert, Z magazine editor and writer on copyrights:

"I don't run a small press...I once worked at South End Press - and you
can see how we dealt with the idea of copyrights, even in the current
market, corporate, context, in the front of any of the older titles.

Z doesn't copyright anything. I don't personally copyright anything. I
don't believe in copyrights as a means of owning property. But it would
be a long discussion, though my views should be evident, I think, from
discussions of parecon, which is of course broader, if you want to take
a look at those.

Remuneration of a writer - anyone - ought to be for effort and sacrifice
at socially useful labor - not for the value of output. There is no need
to have control over written material once it exists other to garner
excess income.

In a market system, there is reason - of course - but that's a different
matter.

Michael Albert
ZNet / Z Magazine "

Oh, I wanna be a mutant too. I've ALWAYS wanted to be a mutant. C'mon: lemme see that third eye or that third testicle or the lip to the floor or the nose growin' out the back o'me noggin'. Puh-leeze make me a mutant! Pul-eeeze? Mutate me! Mutate me NOW! In the name of GOD...MUTATE me!!!!

REPLY TO MR. BROCK

Welcome aboard, sir.

1) Never did get those two missing newsstand issues of THE PUNISHER. Any number of odd items through the years: unlocated.
Que sera sera. Approximately.

2) Yes, I'd agree THE ESSENTIAL does the job; or, alternately, might I suggest my personal favorite of all my books: MIND FIELDS.

3) I'm mildly interested in the upcoming Superman film. Mildly.

4) Your preference for Oreos over Hydrox is, sad to say, moot. Nabisco actually put the old and venerable Sunshine out of business, and among the assets sold off to the awful Keebler imprimateur was Hydrox, a horrendous cardboardy-tasting simulacrum of which was, for a while, being marketed. Haven't seen them in several years...and good riddance. Yechhh.

But Oreo DOES make a nice li'l Oreo Chips packet, with only the cookie, crisp and tasty, and no slug-white spackling compound cum elephant jissum in it, just the one flat chippy-poo.

As I said, sir, hello; and thank your gramma for the chicken soup.

Respectfully, Harlan Ellison

SHANE:

The boxes arrived, and seem to be in excellent shape, though we haven't opened them yet. Susan wants to make sure we gave you enough money for the shipping from Tempe, so if there's a gap in monies due, we'll be sending it along posthaste.

Now, as a small way of yet again saying "thank you" for your incessant and wearisome mothering of me during the Nebula Weekend, you goyishe yenta you, please be advised that now, in the teleplay of "The Discarded," there is a mutant named Shellenbarger.

Smiling, all teeth, I remain, truly, Yr. Pal, Harlan

Mr Ellison, sirrah, effendi
Forgive our collective restlessness. Most of us would buy your collected grocery lists (grouped in 10-year volumes) as long as the publisher reproduced the marginal doodlings. If you had any interest in shearing sheep, you'd have a ready herd, & many of us are overall grateful for your continued frighteningly high standards. But still restless because, c'mon, we're sheep(ish).

Anthony Tollin
Sure! Dude! Of course, I recognise the name -- though I think they must've been playing repeats at the long-away station I can sometimes pull in, as I'm certain I heard your name in a 2003 broadcast.

Well, this is too cool: you could perhaps settle a question! Are you in any way related to Anthony Tollin, the colorist for DC Comics who among other works did the "Ambush Bug" series? I've always wondered.

(FWIW: tnx for your role in bringing me years of weekday-evening happiness, sampling the shows my folks grew up with, & otherwise screwing up my social life satisfyingly. I'm presently off on a "Johnny Dollar" jag.)

Harlan,

Good to see the list of stories you're working on, especially "Pet", having read a little soupcon years ago in Science Fiction Age.

One thing I've wondered about, is the fact that the story was difficult to write because your hands shook whenever you went to write it. That's unique, a story that scares its own author.

Without giving anything away (and none of this is in any way flogging you over that or any story), I'd like you ask you one question:

What scares you?

Chuck

A photo of HE's grandmasta' award can be viewed here:

http://www.midamericon.org/photoarchive/06neb14.htm

Dancing
It was great talking to you in Tempe, Harlan. Your comments regarding LOTP were right on. I know, because I'd thought of all those questions myself, and perhaps should have addressed them directly in the narrative.

Anyway, keep dancing.

A Lurker Finally Posts....
Although I have been a fan of Harlan's work for many years ("Stalking The Nightmare" being my introduction to his work) and have been lurking around the Pavilion for some time, it is only now that I have decided to step inside. And though I hope to indulge in the variety of topics available at a later date, I thought I'd start with something simple for my initial foray into this arena.

HARLAN,
Did you ever get your hands on the newstand editions of Punisher #2 & 10 (2001/2002) you were looking for? I browsed eBay from time to time hoping to find them, but always came up with the direct editions. Any luck?

Also, if I wanted to introduce someone to your work, what book would you recommend? My personal favorite is "The Essential Ellison" (the 50 Year version), but I'd love to hear your choice.

And finally, are you looking forward to "Superman Returns"? As comic book fan myself (Superman in particular), I am hoping for the best and with Bryan Singer at the helm, I feel confident.

Thank you for sharing your time with us mortals,
Edward Brock

P.S. Sorry, but I still like Oreo better than Hydrox.

Tim -- I'm so sorry to hear about Andrea's grandfather. He sounds like he was a peach, and quite a bit like my grandparents. Please pass along my condolences to Andrea and Alexa as well.

Amy

new book...aka LDV
A previous post referred to your work as candy...I'm fonder of the term "souped-up crack with real spanish fly mixed in for meanness". Hell, I'd buy Harlan's bio of W. just because (not that the Grandmaster is that hard up for work, ideas or lucre). We'll wait patiently and pounce as soon as it hits.
Your humble devotee-
Tally

Pete Kelly's Blues Available Online
Six of the radio episodes may be downloaded online at:

http://savefile.com/projects.php?pid=761851

Enjoy.

STEVE BARBER: Don't know when you'll see it, so I went and copied Harlan's post to the thread.

THE NEXT BOOK OF UNCOLLECTED STORIES


STEVE BARBER & OTHERS WHO ASKED:

I'm not being coy, folks, it's simply that--still catching unrelenting amounts of meanspirited and VERY depressing shit because THE LAST DANGEROUS VISIONS hasn't yet manifested--an albatross that NO amount of work ACTUALLY PRODUCED will ever, in my lifetime or thereafter, mitigate for those who wish me bad cess--I am careful what I announce, and when.

Suffice to say, I have a major hardcover publisher (actually, two) waiting for me to hand in a manuscript--though I've carefully refrained from getting contractual with either of them--and I'm, oh, maybe 74% done with the book.

I have stories in the tube--"I Weep for the Clone of John Barrymore,"The Man Who Searched for Sweetness," "Sticks and Stones May Break Your Bones," "The Final Ghastly Experiment of the Son of Doctor Moreau," "Pet," and three others, untitled & unfinished. Some of them have been waiting years to see proper denouement; and that's as it should be. If I didn't finish them earlier, it was because they didn't WANT to be finished, because I wasn't smart enough, or insightful enough, or maybe informed enough, to do them out properly. So now I know I can write them as they should be written, and I've been at it...in expectation of the new book (which will have a clever, I think, surprise for even the canniest of you) and it'll be my #1 chore when I finish the teleplay and an intro for a book Pete Crowther is publishing.

All I ask is that you wait patiently. I'm dancing as fast as I can.

Steve, take this post back to the thread for me, would you?

Thanks, and goodwill to all. Yr. pal, Harlan

TO STEVEN YEW:

Books received, books signed, books returned.

Yr. pal, Harlan

DTS - You missed a couple of letters. It actually reads "Help Me, I'm being held captive by albino muskrats intent on procreation." Or something like that.

HARLAN: I'll do this, because one of us gotta have the cajones to ask. There's a chain in the Forums wondering how we inquire as to the status (and nature) of your next book.

Yes, I know there was a recent update ("sooner than later"), but given the recent Grandmastery of Fiction -- and the reference to writing more stories down below -- several posters wanted to ask yet again, for the umpteenhundredth time: "What" and "When". I figure I've already got a sour rep for insolence so've got nothing to lose (that and the fact I'm traveling for the next few days and won't see the reply myself until Sunday night).

You gotta forgive us, after all, we're like kids in a Kandy Store when it comes to your stuff.

Pete Kelly's Blues
Tony Ravenscroft writes: "Anyway, turns out that Wikipedia has a very good entry on the six-episode radio version of PKB."

Actually, there were actually twelve episodes of the PETE KELLY'S BLUES radio series, of which eight shows are known to survive. I agree; it was a great series. Also highly recommended is Jack Webb and Richard Breen's earlier series PAT NOVAK FOR HIRE, an noirish delight that comes closer than any other radio show to catching the hardboiled prose of Robert Leslie Bellum's DAN TURNER, HOLLYWOOD DETECTIVE stories.

The 1955 film version of PETE KELLY'S BLUES starred Jack Webb, Lee Marvin, Janet Leigh, Edmond O'Brien, Andy Devine and Peggy Lee (who received an Oscar nomination).

BTW, I scripted Stan Freberg's WHEN RADIO WAS from 1999 through 2004.

HARLAN,

As soon as THE DISCARDED teleplay is 110% in the can, could you take the opportunity to take a break for a good while? Just a happy little sabbatical to call your own? Then we'll be less liable to act like a bunch of nannies towards you.

Noir writing, teleplays in progress & DaVinci-Like Codes,
TOM RAVENSCROFT (cool name...or pseudonym): I absolutely LOVED the noir-style writing of your message. And the story was fun, too.

HARLAN: STILL (!!!) can't wait to see the finished product (Hell, why don't you cut a deal with Asimov's so you can publish it like ya did "I, Robot" and we can all read the finished product as well).

ALL: Yeah, I SAW IT TOO (!!!!-four exclamations!): The DaVinci Code-type clues in Harlan's posting. Those extra capital letters (sometimes cleverly inserted in the middle of words) MUST mean something. Unfortunately, afflicted with dyslexia and ADHD, I found myself curling up in a ball after only five minutes of working on the puzzle. Perhaps the rest of you can chime and help break this code BEFORE that movie starring Tom Hanks hits theaters. Here's what I've been able to suss out thus far:

TOM'S TIFF DANGEROUS TO...

That's all I got before curling up and squeaking out words that sounded (to my nearly catatonic ears) like, "Mama, mama!"
But I think Harlan's trying to tell us something about Tom Cruise, the Church of Scientology, and how it all relates to a virgin birth. I could be wrong.
--DTS

Pete Kelly's Blues
I pulled up across the street from the Hard Times Cafe in Minneapolis, a delightfully skungy coffee shop where (until 2006) you could order an excellent vegan meal, chain-smoke freely, & drink pressed coffee that would filter most forms of electromagnetic radiation. Most denizens after dark would scare the living crap outta any sane person, an elite I've never been comfortable with even on those rare moments when I qualified. (When I was a Claims Examiner II with The Hugely Monolithic Insurance Company, I'd stop by HT on the way home to restore a reality I preferred.) Generally, the majority of customers are dealing X or selling sex or dodging the police doodling to fend off alien invasion -- sitting there, I often found calm & rationality that the best shrinks had difficulty locating after dozens of hours.

But I sat in the car, because Stan Freberg, that bastard, had nailed me to the cushions of my '93 Grand Am.

That evening's fare on "When Radio Was" was something I'd never before heard of, some strange old obscurity starring none other than Jack Webb, the Bill Shatner of a previous generation.

A chestnut called "Pete Kelly's Blues."

Ellison's right. You need this. In all its forms. Watch the movie, listen to the radio show, read the novelization, stare wonderingly at the graphic novel, chew the gum, trundle the pull-toys, whatever.

It helps if you love jazz.

The decription of the blue cigarette haze that roils through the club is worth the price of admission by itself.

As the show ended & I reluctantly turned off the car radio, the cops busted the Hard Times for various crimes against society, which resulted in one person being busted for selling a joint to a narc & pleading out to time served.

Anyway, turns out that Wikipedia has a very good entry on the six-episode radio version of PKB. Movies are often great, but I'm one of the last (at 47) to know the true childhood wonder of radioplays. The Wiki entry:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pete_Kelly's_Blues_(radio_series)
Also nce to know that Rhino Records released some of the tunes -- am I also the last to find it funny that they refer to "blue" & "red" tracks? (Sorry; an NBC Radio gag.)

Tim - My condolences and warm wishes to the family. Rattle my cage if there's anything I can do.

Harlan - THAT book will be on the way by the weekend, along with a couple of choice photos, at least one of which doesn't make you out to be skating around an oblong hole on the back of a greasy black banana peel.

And I second what Todd said, adding that the lighting in the room, particularly around the podium, was abyssmal. There are candids that illustrate Harlan's color is fine, and that the rings under his eyes aren't anywhere near as deep as they appear in some of the other photos. I have a very nice shot of him and Susan just before the banquet that illustrates how non-issue his appearance actually is.

It was a fine weekend with friends old and new, though the proximity of an irish tavern across the alley under the window left much to be desired for sleeping, especially on Cinco De Mayo. Nice to meet Shane, Todd, and several others who post occasionally or lurk. The impromptu, informal post-banquet conversation trumped the hospitality suite party for me (I really was catching my seventh wind, Harlan) and formed a calm coda for the weekend. The Tempe weather was fine (and I remembered the sunscreen, to the delight of some who didn't), casual dining with William F. Nolan on Sunday night was an unexpected treat, and I got a pre-birthday gift of custom Chucks that was absolutely spot-on perfect. Thank you - you know who you are. :)

"Though," not "thought." "You too," not "you to."

Corrections courtesy of Cassel Internet White-out.

Gang, and Harlan, please rest assured: Harlan did not look as depleted as you all seem to think. I have seen Harlan 7 different appearances since 1993, and thought he is obviously not the spring chicken he was when I started reading him in the mid-1970's, he is certainly not using a walker and dribbling his pre-chewed meals.

The man was energetic as ever. Sure, you would expect him to slow down at times, especially after being on overdrive up until 11:30pm Saturday night (wherein he still insisted on loosening the tie, shucking the jacket, and sitting and chatting for another 90 minutes in the empty ((almost)) banquet hall). Hey, around 1am he was STILL ready to head out to Denny's for a nightcap.....but he judged correctly and called it a weekend instead. Maybe a good ole greasy Denny's pre-breakfast woulda finally done him in!

Please stop with the worries. You to, Harlan. Sure, you exhausted now. But you're the youngest 72 year old I've ever met.

-TODD

THE GHASTLY PORTRAITS OF DORIAN ELLISON

Yeah, I look like something netted up by The Old Man and the Sea.

Those photos aren't far off, gang, though the differences in meInnaFlesh and meInnaFoto hasn't been that abyssal until recently. But--so's you shouldn't worry TOO much--after a long season of stress and sturm and drang, the MiniCon where they rode me hard and hung me up wet, and then 2 weeks of long hours/little sleep so I could go to Tempe without dreading the return too much, and then reTURNing and getting back into harness...well...yeah, I look like hell, and those damn Panda Syndrome eyes make me look worse than I really am. But, in truth, I'm tired, I'm weary, and I rewrote sixteen pages of teleplay today that are senSATional. Josh came by, took 'em away to retype and integrate, and tomorrow I'll have acts three and four done. Five and six Thursday, and we're good to go.

Then I will take a much-deserved, much-needed break for a few days, and then get back to the short stories I'm faunching to finish.

I think things will be okay. Do not fret. No pains--except for the usual backache from too much gut on me and sitting up writing--and apparently no diminution of auctorial skills.

So. Don't cry for me ARGENtina.

Uruguay, yeah, you can sob a few times. Brazil..........

Yr. pal,

El Harlano (w/guacamole)

%$#@ Minute Late and Dollar Short!

Here I was, quotable sentences copied, nasty thoughts lined up and ready, sharpened pencil (keyboard) rarin' to go -- and suddenly Rob't Morales ups and steals my thunder...




Yes. What he said. Down one message posting. Bad picture takers. Bad.

SF people are notoriously Weegee-like in their inability to take flattering photos ... yet they take them all the time! It IS difficult to properly shoot people as fair-skinned as Harlan using a standard flash - the definition of cheekbones, etc., get washed out and they wind up usually looking rather mottled. (God forbid any of these haruspices for technological advancement learn to use Photoshop.)

One more belated congrats, o Grandest of Masters!

Fidelis Eternis,

Paul Lorello

Tim, a Bush basher deserves to live lifetimes, just to keep the sheep in constant fear of being sheared. May he rest at the crux of the netherworld, where rays of gold and wandering maidens feeding him grapes, are the norm.

Bad men stay with us, good men die. Such is the stuff of our wandering world.

------------

Brian, the dark circles you see are not from lack of sleep but from those consistant bong hits with your hippie friends.


I think the inner rightie in me is breeding. Puckish lips tasting chocolate dipped bad things.

The Dorian Gray Effect
I've got a couple of nice snaps of Ellison from Minicon. Even though the guy was fighting back pain, lack of sleep, & delayed effects of OTC painkillers, his photos seem to end up 20-40 years older than the Authentic Article. Or, rather, the camera sucks at capturing the reality.

I dunno, maybe there's a filter for that....

Andrea's Grandfather

Tim,

I'd just like to extend my condolences on the loss of Andrea's grandfather. Sorry you both had to come home to that.

Chuck

preamble and condolences
*** Tim *** I remember him well. My sincere condolences on your loss. Shit, my loss, hell, OUR loss. I'm sorry you had to come home to such shitty news. Flying West to East is hard enough without that waiting for you on the transom. I'll call in a bit. Hugs.

*** EVERYBODY else *** I'm working on a "real" post and don't want to rush it. I may even spellcheck it. But I'm home safe and grinning from ear to ear and prouder than I can say of Harlan's Grandmaster.

So, tomorrow then -

Barney

>And in the past year years, the grey in my hair's decided to make things even less sparkly and glamorous. <

Go with Loreal coloring, Brian. Works better than Clairol as a blend, and doesn't have ammonia.

Does anyone, Harlan included, have a (or a link to) transcript/copy of the his GM speech?

Barn E., Harlan, Susan, Doug, Scott
Sadly to say Andrea's Grandfather passed away last night. John Morris was a great man, a funny smart man(as you may remember Barn), who liked to rattle people with his political and social views. He hated Bush and let everyone know it, particularly local radio stations. Sunday as he was lapsing into a coma, Andrea's Uncle, his favorite foil, came into the room and said "Hey I saw your buddy with the red tie on TV this morning." Grandpa's eyes opened as he griped the sheets and attempted to engage in well-oiled, proper Bush bashing.
When we traveled to Ireland a few years back we visited with Andrea's family who brought us out to the crossroads where the rails once ran and Andrea's Great-Grandmother hopped the train to the steamship that brought her to the U.S. All that was left was a lone tree beside a narrow road that led to the old house. When we got there Aidan, Andrea's cousin, pointed to a large hill that loomed over the house and the valley on the other side. "Johnny Morris used to climb that hill to watch the sun rise. Every morning I'd see him standing at the top just looking out over the valley." He was like that: meditative, but commanding.
There's so much more, his affinity for "the ponies," his distaste for cops (who he called "the real terrorists"), his love of a good ham. I know that at 93 you can't ask for much more, except as Harlan said to me when my Grandmother passed; doesn't matter gone is gone. And so another history book burns.
Once when Alexa was dancing around doing her spastic gymnastics and watching herself in the mirror I said, "Hey stop looking at yourself will ya! It’s obnoxious already!" Grandpa John, who was sitting on the couch watching and clapping his hands turned to me and said, "Well you have to understand, it's always necessary to believe in infinity." When I return to play in Ireland in July, I’m sure to think of that moment when I climb the hill next to the old house and look out toward the horizon for whatever it was that he saw.

síocháin, (peace)

For KEITH CRAMER
Did Mr. Ellisot answer your letter? If so, anything repeatable here?

Ben, I just had a horrible thought. What if... what if we'll all look aged when we're into our seventies. ;-)
They must be in a real hurry to get THE DISCARDED filmed. I thought Harlan was done with the script for the time being and exhausted from it, and now he already has to work on the next draft? Not very considerate.

To Ben Whitfield, re Harlan's photographs. I can readily understand the difference between photography and Real Life. Y'see, while I'm told I look reasonably well in person, photographs are just not my friend, generally speaking.

There are dark area under my eyes which seem to _love_ photoreceptors as much as they used to love photo emulsion, because whatever's there just _leaps_ out through the lens and establishes huge colonies on the pictures. And in the past year years, the grey in my hair's decided to make things even less sparkly and glamorous.

So it doesn't surprise me when photos of Harlan don't match the Young Turk we all know and love. Most of the photos I've seen have tended to be the studio pics off his dust jackets, or pro-made television footage. Otherwise, they're as catch-as-catch-can as anyone else's; bad angle, lighting's off, the wrong shadows, etc.

In other words, I pay no attention to the comments about how Harlan looked, unless they come from people who were there and spent time with'im.

Congrats / quick (and tardy) thanks to Brian Siano

To Harlan - Late congratulations and a salute in the lanbuage of my people :

"Lang may yer lum reek"

-------------------------------------------------------

Thank you Mr. Siano, I had forgotten the ending of that anecdote
- it has been 24 years, mind !

- Cheers,

Dougie.

Heya Harlan, chalk me up as just another of the unwashed masses a-grin with delight at your Grandmaster-dom.

Glee!

Congratulations

Harlan, good on ya mate! The Grand Master, just as it should be.

Cheers,

Kerry

Nebulas were great
I was so damned happy to be there. Could go on for days about my experiences.

Loved Harlan's acceptance speech. The man is still growing and changing at 71 and 352/365s (or whatever). Based on the stuff he read at Minicon, and his speech at the Nebulas, he very likely does have his best work ahead of him.

As a slight aside, I once wrote Harlan a fan letter when I was 15 years old. Did not keep a copy of it. But I distinctly remember deliberately messing up his name (Harlan Ellisot, I believe), in a huge act of denial (or rebellion) that I was actually sending a simpering fan letter. Pride can be bad or good, depending on how you use it.

So, Ben, it's okay to love Harlan and his work. Really. You're not weird. It's why we're here.

-Keith

Wow, Benjamin, you really know how to dish out the compliments. Do you always light up a room like this?

HARLAN,

Sincere congrats on the Grandmaster Award. I've been suffering a serious guilt trip due to the fact that I've procrastinated reading more of your stories, and if you're finally receiving the kind of recognition you've deserved for years, it's not my doing in the slightest.

Curiously, I've heard some individuals remark that you appeared "aged and unwell" at the ceremony. I hope they were basing their judgement on the image constantly found on the back of 20-year-old dusk jackets as opposed to anything remotely approaching the real deal.

(Come to think of it, I've noticed that still photographs of yourself tend to portray a seemingly feeble, chronically exhausted man, but when actually seen in motion during a random television interview, you become an entirely different creature. Forget night and day - this is more like black hole and supernova. It's amazing.)

Another late-but-heartfelt congratulations, Harlan!

Grand Master Flash!
Hey Harlan and Susan,

And yet another message of Congratulations from this end of Ohio... I would have loved to have been there for the festivities! See ya both in Anaheim this summer...

Chris Barkley

Wow, Harlan, you *are* posting in your sleep!
...twasnt me that got it mixed up re The Shadow....only i'm having a hard time figuring out who it *was* digging back through the archives. (I gave my father a bunch of Shadow CDs for Xmas, but he hasn't gotten around to playing them yet!)

from all of us GET SOME REST! you earned it!

It was great to see you in Seattle and Minnesota.

Congrats and Gd wishes,

Kristin
(As for outliving heart surgery, you already have my grandfather beaten by several years...he died in 1982 though, so his surgery was back in the 70s....)

Wow, Harlan, you *are* posting in your sleep!
...twasnt me that got it mixed up re The Shadow....only i'm having a hard time figuring out who it *was* digging back through the archives. (I gave my father a bunch of Shadow CDs for Xmas, but he hasn't gotten around to playing them yet!)

from all of us GET SOME REST! you earned it!

It was great to see you in Seattle and Minnesota.

Congrats and Gd wishes,

Kristin
(As for outliving heart surgery, you already have my grandfather beaten by several years...he died in 1982 though, so his surgery was back in the 70s....)

Congrats Grand master
Harlan, congrats on the Grand master award. The body of work you've produced and unique voice truly deserve it.

I'm glad to have met you in NYC at WHC last year...in that dreadful hotel. Thank you for making my trip a good one.

Steven Shrewsbury

Lee, and a rowdy "Good Job" to you! Not only did you put on a great show, but you kept a bunch of Science Fiction and Fantasy writers well-penned and well-behave: and that must be quite the chore.

Appreciate your personally responding to a couple of my emailed questions in anticipation of the event. I'm sure you did the same for hundreds of others. Your responses were quick in coming and happily received.

Congrats on a successful weekend: I saw no pools of blood or broken bottles, and with the crew you were managing that MUST be some sort of record.

-TODD

Harlan, get some rest, ignore our ignorant postings and let Susan juice you some high-octane protein mush.

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I doubt Harlan even knows what Reggaeton is. Not that he is missing anything. A music devoid of what really matters--music. Rythem for the sake of rythem, going nowhere; jackhammers to the groin, ending up in that place where only little larvae thrive.

Nebula Weekend
I'd like to thank Harlan and Susan for making this a very memorable weekend (in a very good way). I enjoyed dinner Thursday night, the mini-roast during the reception on Friday night, and the awards ceremony (although I was fighting very hard not to crack up during the middle of Harlan's acceptance speech as Neil Gaiman was playing the the jelly beans and the Harlan rat during it). The auction was a lot of fun, especially the fighting over the one-of-a-kind Harlan rat made by Lisa Snellings Clark (http://slaughterhousestudios.blogspot.com).

Thanks to all of you that came out to join in the fun, especially Harlan!

Lee Whiteside
2006 Nebula Awards Weekend Chair

Congratulations
Congratulations! May the confetti burst, the dancers dance, and triumphs triumph!

Grand Master Blaster


Harlan,

I'm proud to know you.

Rick

Mr. Ellison,
An honor well deserved. Congratulations and here's to many, many more years of your craftsmanship and verve.

Nickolas Cook.

so THIS is what humility feels like ....... cuh-REEEEPY !!!

Listen, you guys...

As you know already, I have a hard time with compliments, and, uh, well ... ahem ... kaff kaff ...

A simple, "I thank you, each one of you, and I am moved, and I am humbled, and I am--like they say--touched at the outpouring demonstration of your affection and friendship and appreciation
and..." Oh shit. See...I DON'T know when to shut up and just say thank you in situations like this.

We're back. I'm exhausted. I've got to get on the rewrite of "The Discarded" with Josh. I'm fat and tired and exhausted, and as all those photos (and your correct take on them) attest, my eyes look like Panda Syndrome Rampant, and that's a little scary, because that's EXACTLY how I looked ten-plus years ago, just before the "coronary event."

That said, please not to worry; but I acknowledge the frayed aspect, yet assure you I'll be back writing in a day or two.
All I want in the ones ahead are Susan and to write at least a hundred more stories. Every one of them better than the best I have done. Pretty please.

Yr. pal, Harlan
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P.S. It was a joy seeing so many of youse guys, and Kristin my doll, it's Margo LANE, not Margo "Kane." Same as Lois.
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P.P.S. To have had Peter David fly in, and appear magically from Patchogue, Long Island; to have had my dear