Unca Harlan's Art Deco Dining Pavilion
LEE: I loved your story. Any chance I could read it to my students? I think they could profit from listening to it.
Steve Dooner
"nosey parkers"
>snork<
Oops, my bad. Told Harlan Lee was a female, some time ago. Don't know why I assumed that, but, well, we were both wrong.
Good on'ya, chappie.
Does that satisfy you nosey parkers?
Susan
Sorry if this has ben mentioned, but I didn't find anything in the archives. But _Slashdot_ (http://www.slashdot.com) is posting some news on the Ellison AOL lawsuit. The guy who posted the story wrote the following:
"An appeals court has issued a decision reversing the summary judgment of a lower court that AOL qualified as a "safe harbor" under the DMCA. At issue is the fact that Ellison sent his notification of copyright violation to an email address at AOL, which AOL never received because the abuse submission address had been changed."
There's lots of chatter about this on Slashdot, but a lot of it is from idiotic geeks whose grudges are inversely proptional to their understanding. But this seems like good news, and let's hope it contributes to Harlan's eventual victory.
Eyes of Dust online
Eyes of Dust is already available online (though not free) from www.fictionwise.com (along with over 30 more HE goodies). Cost is 69 cents and the downloaded file is easily readable with Palm Reader (a free download from www.palmdigitalmedia.com) on any PC, PocketPC, or Palm OS handheld, or with Adobe Acrobat reader, Microsoft Reader and some others. Believe the print collection that included it was I Have No Mouth & I Must Scream.
--tr
oops! sorry Alex Jay, ya caught that one already. My browser doesn't refresh as often as it should & I didn't see your post.
Lee's anecdote
"It was then that the Best Teacher I Ever Had fudged the papers to get me into a local college on Early Admissions; ..."
I hope the college had enough slots open so that the kids who didn't have teachers fudge their papers got in too.
Harlan, better check the archives for Lee's earlier posts (the trials of being a straight guy in the ballet) and remove the "girl"!
HARLAN: Lee's a guy.
REPLY TO HEATHER LOVATT:
Hi, kiddo. Uh, let me think on this for a day or so. I am, as you know, embroiled in an endless and exhausting piracy lawsuit against AOL and divers brain-cases who don't seem to understand that it's theft, just plain ole theft, when they post my work without my permission. And so, while I'm more or less secure that if I extend my specific permission to use "Eyes of Dust" for the sole purpose you propose, I'm compelled to endure the pain in the butt of contacting my attorney to make sure I'm not being a naive amateur and compromising my rights re the dreaded lawsuit. Just a question, however. The story is available in one of my collections (can't remember which one at the moment, but easy enough to get that iota to you). Wouldn't it be just easier and safer and a whole lot less make-work simply to loan her a copy of the book, or even to photocopy the story, and send the yarn to whomever by perfectly wonderful U.S. post or even by fax? Sometimes a straight line as the crow flies is the most direct and simplest way to get a simple job done, whaddaya think?
Doesn't ANYBODY understand that not everything needs to be done electronically? Sometimes change isn't progress. Sometimes the traditional methods are less time-consuming, less harrowing, more salutary.
Over to you, Heather.
Yr. pal, Harlan
LEE:
What a gahdamm sensational personal anecdote! Were I a writer, looking for that one perfect encapsulated explication of the real inner character of, well, of a character ... this story of your Machiavellian dedication to your personal survival and transcendence would be perfect, exactly perfect! I have led my own life by the secret tenets and parameters passim your story, and I cannot even BEGIN to express my admiration for your smart and tenacious pursuit of viability! For all who lament "bad luck" or "chance" or "they was all against me" or "my mommy locked me in the basement, how could I ever reach my full potential with such an abusive background," I say ... within Lee's story lies the secret, the mythical totem, for achieving the Life You Deserve, not just the Life You're Stuck With. Oh yeah! As we say downunder in Oz, good on'ya, girl.
Nakedly huzzahing, Yr. pal, Harlan
Not required?
Harlan:
To further entice you, go look at (and comment, if you wish, she's complaining to me, in notes, just now, of not getting enough--sure you know how that feels *grin*) my friend, Laura.
But don't mention her age. You're not supposed to know. She's much OLDER, you see, so you think she's important. *grin*
Go look at Laura, who, in our devspeak, here at dA, is devecru at this link:
http://ecru.deviantart.com
Thanks for reading.
H
Name That Thoroughbred
CINDY: Howzabout "Paris Match" for a champeen horse's name? Not only will it have a literary connection (the French magazine that's a combination of "Life" and "Time"), it will also allude to your daughter, another winner that comes from fine stock.
--DTS
Frank: I didn't infer you were a communist, I was merely kidding you as being too far left for my tastes. I'm sorry, and I'll play nice from now on. I don't want you to get your buddy Noam Chomsky to be coming over every year, haranging me for buying Girl Guide cookies while knowing that the Keebler Elves were being forced to work at slave wages by Kathy Lee Gifford.
Rick: Best wishes for Homer's recovery from myself and my erstwhile compatriot in all things malfeasant, the redoubtable Jack Russell terrier Disraeli.
M
Eyes of Dust
Harlan...
I don't know if you're around these days, (and I hope you are well, sire), but I've found some artists/writers who may be interested in you and your attitude/thinking/writing. Could I show them "Eyes of Dust" online?
I can do one of three things: Type up this short story and show it to Laura (my original intent) in email--she alone. A Dostoevsky fan at fourteen who draws dark, skanky, savvy females like a dream--you'd like her.
Or show it to others I think might enjoy the story and its mythic self-import.
OR, I could post it on a sub-WEB I am noodling with at a place called deviantart.com. It is a WEB of a combination of visual (mostly, at present) and verbal artists of the transient, teener age (ie. 14-34, weighted heavier on the angsty 18 and under--your balliwick, I believe. *grin*)
I shall try you back here soon for a reply, okey dokey?
Thanks. Go sweetly.
Heather Lovatt
Cindy's Request
Cindy,
Hi, you don't know me, but I read your post asking for suggestions for your newborn. How does Hummingbird's Shadow sound?
Congrats to you and Paris, by the way. I'm glad the parent-teacher-student meeting went well. Like many others here, I had a gross negative experience in every public school I attended, with few and remarkable exceptions of several memorable teachers. I wish my parents had been more involved in the process, but they were young and without any significant educational backgrounds themselves, and didn't know how they could help.
-Keith
Lee: I'm always shocked when I hear stories like yours. "I will screw up your plans because I CAN"... how do these people end up in the teaching profession?
She was probably jealous because you were smarter than she was. Probably spent her spare time teasing and tormenting small children, elderly people, and furry woodland creatures.
And that was a HELL of a good topic choice, especially for way-back-when.
Cindy:
I’m glad things worked out at school. I had a much different experience when I was an eleventh grader. I didn’t like any of the term paper topics offered so I did mine on “The Moral and Theological Implications of Cloning.” This was in the mid-seventies when there wasn’t much material on it, so I made my own sources by interviewing various local religious and civil authorities to get their ideas and opinions.
The paper was good for at least a “C”, but I got flunked for using unapproved resources.
The teacher had meant for this to be a character building gesture; a couple of weeks in summer school to reflect on the need for doing what The Authorities tell you to do, then graduate, pick a topic from the college menu of life-skills and come out the other end as a nicely polished cog ready to be slotted into the complex machinery of modern society. The problem was, I already had a scholarship for that summer to train at the School of American Ballet in NY. So the implications of the teacher’s move shifted from doing summer school to not getting to graduate on time.
You’d think SOMEONE could have convinced the teacher to back off, but parents and principal together were unable to budge the teacher’s position, which had settled in around “I have the right to assign the grade that I think is appropriate.” It was then that the Best Teacher I Ever Had fudged the papers to get me into a local college on Early Admissions; by the time the college figured out I wasn’t qualified I already had a 3.3 average in advanced placement courses and I was quitting at the end of the year anyway to become a dancer. So the college let me finish out the year.
After dancing I needed some more college, but at 10 years out of school and with no high school diploma, I was informed by the front office admissions counsellors that “my qualifications did not indicate any reasonable proability for success in the demanding curriculum that I was planning to persue.”
The second time around I didn’t bother arguing with them. I got into that college using a combination of direct negotiation with the head of the deparment of engineering, a math class in a community college and a nudge to the admissions department from a member of the board of trustees in the ballet company that I was dancing in at the time, who was a good friend of the president of the university. I graduated 4.0 and number one in my class, got a National Science Foundation Fellowship and Uncle Sam paid for my Masters. I stopped there to start earning money again, as the first kid was on the way.
I mention all this because my attitude toward the bone-heads of this world is formed around this experience. Energy is what gets life lived, and the minimum energy path past the idiots leaves you with the most energy left to experience all the good things in this world. Sometimes the low energy path is indeed over or through the clods that impose themselves on our lives, but other times it’s best to just move quietly around them. It’s equally satisfying to leave them blinking in confusion as they choke on your trail dust.
Cindy: Are there any clever Texas-related themes you could pull off with the horse? There's always mythology, but I'd imagine there have been a lot of horses named Bucephalus and Pegasus. The Norse thingie I was just looking at yielded Gulltopp for one of the horses of the Aesir, which actually sounds sort of neat.
For comedic reasons, I was hoping that the second jpeg would show Homer with the entire box of Milkbones in his mouth.
Cheers, Jon
oddments
Cindy--my pick for a racehorse name is Eurassis Mine, but from what i have read you should somehow cleverly name it after mom and dad, correct? what are sire and dam's names? Good luck with the election.
Rick--That is one damn fine looking Homer you have there.
Alex--Tony mentioned Simenon--and that awesome suggestion reminded me of a more arcane European named Delacorta. He's got one name, he's hard to find, and he's worth the effort. Look for "Diva", "Nana", "Lola", "Vida" and "Alba" these are the adventures of Alba and Gorodish, and any fan of the (mystery) genre will find themsaelves in capable hands with the Swiss Delacorta (Daniel Odier), he wrote "The Job:Interviews with William S. Burroughs" under his given name.
At ya'lls service,
Neal
Best wishes to Signore Homer!
Also...Spring Break is coming up soon. So if any a youse have book recommendations...you'd do best to make wittum. New stuff, preferably. I haven't read any new stuff in a while. Not to sound like an undergraduate, but if it happened more than two weeks ago I'm not interested. I feel I'm a bit out of touch. Come to think of it, I haven't read any good speculative fiction in ages, either. Anything exciting happening on that front? I haven't the time to sift through any less-than-SPECTACULAR stuff these days, so I'd appreciate a few nudges in the right direction.
Thanks,
Justin
Cindy:
How about Ebony Blaze as the foal's name? Sounds fast and dark.
Rick:
I saw the photos of Homer and his milk bones. AWWWWWWWW. Makes me want to hug the big guy and give him a belly rub.
David Loftus:
Congrats on the new job!! Wish me luck.
Frank:
M called you a what??!!! A commie? naw. I don't remember that. Unless you're both joking in which case, HAHAHAHAHA!!!
Chuck
The Way of all horseflesh...
*** Cindy *** I always thought Antaeus would be a good name for a racehorse - particularly if the horse is a mudder. I say this despite the early incontrovertable photographic evidence that horses get all four feet off the ground at once in full gallop. Strength from the earth and all that. Just be sure to scratch if he has to go up against anything named Hercules. No point tempting fate, eh?
- Barney
Duh!
Sorry David, the Documentaryfilms.net in your post just sunk into my college-freshman-writing addled brain.
M
David Loftus: Will we be able to read your review online? I'm interested to hear your thoughts on Morris, McNamara et al. And congrats and good luck on your new job.
Not to kick a person when she's down, but watching the news tonight put me in mind of one of Harlan's favorite phrases. When we saw the verdict coming in on Martha Stewart, all I could do was turn to my wife and say, "Arrogant stupidity."
Later,
Mark
film technology
Mark Orr:
Regarding your intuition that silents and talkies are totally different aesthetic media . . . pick up a copy of Walter Kerr's magnificent book, _The Silent Clowns_.
Besides containing magnificent exegeses of the work of Chaplin, Keaton, Lloyd, Laurel & Hardy, and others -- lavishly illustrated -- he has a chapter in there which I dimly recall in which he points out that the studios had the technology to include sound in films long before it swept the industry in 1927 with "The Jazz Singer." And by long before, I mean decades. He argues that they REJECTED the technology, for reasons I think you'd find very interesting, given your ideas.
I saw "The Fog of War" on Tuesday and am nearly finished with my fairly lengthy review for DocumentaryFilms.net, and saw "Winged Migration" again last night so I could write that up too.
Also, thanks for the support, everybody. I start my new job on Monday.
Milk Bones
Glad Homer's doing well. When he's well enough, give him doggie noogies from us here along the Susquehanna.
Sorry for the quick second posting, but I just saw Rick's new Homer Pics:
Harlan/Susan - SMALL Milk Bones? Small? You couldn't find any of the supersize Milk Bones for Homer? He could probably snort those babies up his nose!
Just kiddin'! Very thoughtful of you.
-TODD
Frank, I read Fast Food Nation the week it came out in hardcover. It was fascinating, but you have me wrong: I've never eaten a McDee's Toadburger in my life. But, I HAVE eaten more than my fair share of McDee's Fries. Deeeelish, even if the secret really is artificial beef tallow flavoring.
The most intriguing section of that book concerns the how the artificial flavors in all of our foods are developed and used. Fascinating shit. Of course, the section on shitburgers (yup, literal shitburgers) was quite interesting as well....but I wouldn't just point the finger at McDee's on that one!
-TODD
M called me a communist. How childish is that? No one here is a bigger small 'd' democrat than I.
------------
No more head shots about my admiration of Sir. Chomsky. I admire his views, I do NOT worship him. The cult of personality is banal and tabloidish.
------------
Hitchens made the point about the Gibson movie being played in Islamic countries, not me.
And yes, Horowitz is defending the film. Shmooley Boteach called him a self hating Jew on Scarborough Country last night. You go Rabbi!
-------------
Todd, read the book, Fast Food Nation and tell me you still want to eat toad burgers.
***Thanks for the Homer updates and pics! He's so cute! I'm glad he's doing better. Of dogs:
- When all other friends desert, he remains.-
George G. Vest
The liberry will close in ten minutes
Jeff - shoot me an e-mail and I'll come up with something for you. I had to block a whole range of IP addresses the City of Philadelphia uses.
Harlan - Package arrived this afternoon - thanks for thinking of my wee boy. He's doing much better than last time. Of course, I supposed being excited to see a steady stream of piss coming out of your dog's wang instead of a dribble is the epitome of "lowered expectations." Here are a couple of pics of Homer enjoying his new treats:
Homer with his snacks
Homer chows down on a milk-bone
No Mr. Ed?
Cindy:
How about "Worth A Kingdom?" -- play on the line from Richard III.
Or "Mercurial Onyx"?
M
Chaplin, passings, mysteries and horses
Had I my druthers, I'd have the TV in the bedroom tuned to nothing but TCM. Wednesday night's Chaplin offerings were terrific. Gonna have to stock up on blank tapes before next Wednesday night.
I have managed to educate my kids to the wonders of old time radio, but they haven't yet learned to appreciate silents. I am working on it, though. It occurs to me that silents aren't just talkies without the talk. They're as different a medium from talkies as radio is from television, for the same reason. Both silents and radio demand more of the spectator than either talkies or TV do. Also, overall the films of the last few years of the silent era are just better movies than the first few years' worth of talkies, IMHO.
Kindly accept my own condolences for the passings of Messers Schwartz and Auer. I never met either of them, but I did write my own inadequate elegy for Mr. Schwartz as my editorial for the next issue of FUTURES Mysterious Anthology Magazine, for which I'm the senior mystery editor.
If I might toss one American into the mystery discussion (two, actually, as this is a sister act). I've been enjoying the books of P.J. Parrish of late. Her/their current offering is ISLAND OF BONES. Darn good reads. Had the pleasure of one half of the duo's company at last month's Sisters in Crime meeting in Nashville last month.
Cindy, a while back a challenge was put to me to write a poem about cheese. I was inspired, if that's the word, to write it as a B-western sort of thing I called COLBY LONGHORN AND MONTEREY JACK. Feel free to use either name, if the spirit moves you to do so.
A Clue to the Philadelphia Phantom Posters
If you're still looking for those Philadelphia phantom posters who were making you miserable the last couple of weeks, they were posting from the Free Library of Philadelphia, apparently.I say this because I, very innocently, tried to post from the library myself and got a message saying it was blocked. So, now I'm posting from work, which I might just get in a wee bit of trouble for doing. We'll see..Isn't there some way innocent, rational, respectful posters who don't own their own computers might still be able to post from the library? The few lunatics here in Philly are spoiling it for all of us! Gotta go now. Talk to you later ... I hope!
Alex Jay: You can always try Canada's T.F. Banks (a two-writer pseudonym) for The Thief Taker and The Emperor's Assassin, both part of an on-going series called 'Memoirs of a Bow Street Runner.' They're about law enforcement in early 19th century London. They're also realy handsomely designed paperbacks, if that means anything.
Alison Gordon (again, Canadian) wrote a number of baseball mysteries that include The Dead Pull Hitter and Safe at Home. And there's always Howard Engel.
Cheers, Jon
ALEX, add to your Brit list:
Derek Raymond ...a kind of British James Ellroy, best known for his Factory quintet: He Died With His Eyes Open, The Devil's Home on Leave, How the Dead Live, I Was Dora Suarez, and Dead Man Upright.
Frances Fyfield (a.k.a. Frances Hegarty) and Peter Dickinson are almost as discomfitting as Raymond - check out Fyfield's Blind Date and Dickinson's Hindsight.
And David Thomson wrote an incredible book that starts out as invented biographical entries of famous noir movie characters and reveals itself as a genuine mystery novel - that's called Suspects.
It's funny; of the American and British writers named below, I think I have multiple books by all but two of them. That's what happens when you have good library sales in town.
Here now; this strikes me as odd--I was just thinking how it is that I dislike British "cozy" mysteries, but have no such qualms about enjoying American tales of suburnban housewife detectives, as Jill Churchill, Gillian Roberts, and others write, and it hit me:
Have you noticed that literary genres--mystery, sf, fantasy, horror, romance--all contain many subgenres, while what's considered "literature" tends not to, unless it's of the historical or ethnicity based sort? Why is that, do you think, that we categorize and subcategorize our genres, while the supposedly straightforward tyopes of books do not? Is it a case of ghettoizing the ghettoes, do you think?
CINDY: If ever in this life I happen to own a horse, I'd either name him "Seizure" for a morbid little comment on my own disease, or "Paul Revere," for reasons obvious to those familiar with the work of Frank Loesser.
For you, however, I'm leaning toward "Keeping Up With," just for the double meaning. And it'd be that much better if your entire family is named as owner, so that the horse could be announced as they do in shows, with its name then that of the owners: "... Next is 'Keeping Up With,' the Joneses ..."
But there are LOTS of good horse names: "Barry Allen," "Rolling Thunder," "Atalanta," "Blurring the Edges" ...
No; you should name it "Man," for the simple reason of all the puns which are available to A Horse Called Man. If he wins a race by inches, that would be the Measure of a Man; if he's cantering downhill, it's The Descent of Man; if any foals he sires closely resemble him, you can point them out, saying, "Now isn't that just like a Man!"; When you commission work from the harnessmaker, you'll be getting an item that's made for a woman, but strong enough for a Man; and when you acquire a second racehorse, you can name him "Clark Kent" and thus be stabling Man and Superman; and so on.
Been off the board a while. Hello to all.
Belated condolences to the friends & families of Mr. Schwartz & Mr. Auer.
You Chaplin fans will want to catch TCM's Chaplin programming, Wednesday nights this month.
Non-U.S./British mystery writers? In case nobody's mentioned Georges Simenon yet, add him to the list. Check out his non-series work too, not just the Maigret novels.
--tr
GUY: Tom Auer -- 1953-2003.
RICK: Susan and I sent a small "get well soon" gift to Homer. How's he doing?
Yr. pal, Harlan
Harlan,
I'm so sorry about y'all's friend,Tom.
I hope Ed is well. I think about him. I was sorry to hear about his father as well. Please tell him I said hello, if you talk to him.
Cindy
Rick,
I hope Homer's recovery is only remarkable in it's brevity.
yer pal,
Cindy
Dorman,
Thank you kindly. I'm glad you liked it. I liked what you wrote too.
:)
Jon Bell,
Paris giggled and grinned at what you wrote.
Mike,
Thank you too!
Dorman,
Don't be scarce.
:)
br>
Chuck,
Quinn says that cow thing sounds like Blackleg-- he said he's never seen it but the old timers say they'll drop like flies if they contract it. We vaccinate for that.
I enjoyed your list of teachers.
My favorite teachers... Mrs. Varenkamp from second grade. She appreciated my individuality. Most teachers would have been annoyed. The children in the class filled out a survey with the question; what do you like best about second grade? My response was, " The hummingbirds outside the window."
Mr.Schultz because he gave me a 100 on my report I gave before the class, after the other three girls complained bitterly that by placing me in their group they were going to make lower grades. Of course my report DID kick ass-- it was about the reason elephants no longer have wings. I'll never forget the expressions on the faces of those other girls when I stepped up to the front with (GASP) no 3X5 cards. I knew the material and I didn't need them. After I made the only 100 in the class they complained about that too- THEY had 3X5 cards. I said, " But MY report didn't put anyone to sleep."
Mrs. Eichenbaum because she allowed me to do the "A" student project even though I was a "D" student. It was against the rules but she bent them because I was inspired by something on the "A" student list. In the end she wrote that my project ( a diary of Penelope) was her favorite of all the "A" student projects.
Best of all was my high school Counselor Toody Byrd. She was the one who told me that I'd never finish the correspondence course that would satisfy my 1/4 credit deficit in Government for graduation. She was the one who tried to insist that I stick around a little longer in school rather than marrying the pretty boy I had found in Colorado, over summer vacation. I assured her I'd be fine. It was right before the Christmas holidays and I didn't intend on coming back to school. After all, I was 17 and my wedding was going to take place on March 20 and what was I going to need with Government when I was a married woman with a bunch of babies to play with? I told her if it was that important to her that I finish that correspondence course I'd do it. She said she knew I would not. She was right.
Mrs. Byrd was also the one who sent me my diploma ( dispite the missing 1/4 credit) with a note that said, " I missed your pretty, smiling face at graduation."
:)
Oh, and Chuck; Paris says thank you.
:)
Cindy
Neal,
I'm doing that right now! I'm sorry it's taken me so long but I've been up to my eyeballs in alligators right now because of this election and I haven't had a minute to slow down or think.
:)
Thanks so much!
Cindy
A QUESTION FOR ALL OF Y'ALL...
My thoroughbred racehorse foaled on Monday. It was a perfect stud colt bred to fly. I think he's going to be black like his sire.
What would be a good name for a triple crown winner?
All suggestions will be most gratefully received.
:)
DTS writes:
Joe R. Lansdale's "Hap & Leonard," [novels and]Dan Simmons has been writing a fun line of novels: HARD CASE, HARD FREEZE and HARD AS NAILS...to be followed with HARD DAY'S DYING later this year -- his brother calls it the "viagra" series).
========
I'll second that. Lansdale's Hap & Leonard books are some of the rare breed that have made me laugh so hard I cried. Literally. And Simmons' Joe Kurtz books are excellent. I haven't read the third one yet (waiting for it to get into softcover) Pronzini's "Nameless Detective" books are pretty good, too.
I'm not sure if he qualifies as an excusively mystery/crime novelist or not, but I'd recommend Elmore Leonard. I just LOVED "Get Shorty".
M:
"For me, the delight is Wally's, where one gets a massive plate of silver dollar fries drenched in five-alarm chili and sour cream, and then smothered in mozzarella cheeze for only $5.65. Fifty cents extra gets you a side of french-fried Caribbean pepper slices, a good nosh alongside the feast."
Egad! I can feel my arteries clog just reading that! Sound yummy, though.
And now, after my story of the Teacher from Hell, here is my list of some of the best teachers I've had:
Mrs. Lucid, 3rd grade. I wish I had more teachers like her. She got me all straightened out on arithmetic.
Robert Bannister, 6th grade. He genuinely cared about his students, but was never wishy-washy. He had a reputation for being strict, but he was not really a hard-ass. He went on to be a director at the Bonfils theater in Denver. One of my heros.
Roger Autrey, Evergreen High School. One of the two best History teachers in that school. He made history come to life by showing it was more than a bookful of factoids. He linked historical events together, fleshed out the personalities of the historical figures. He gave us the big picture and brought the past to life.
Mr. Mativi, Evergreen. He was the other of the two best teachers. Like Mr. Autrey, he gave us a living history, one that gave students the experience of learning as a satisfying, fulfilling excercise.
Mr. Preston, who taught English. Didn't turn it into a dead language as some teachers can. He also taught a course titled, "Humor and Satire", which he definitely fit: He looked like a cross between Groucho Marx and Ernie Kovacs.
Mrs. Leclerc, Evergreen. Made English a creative and competitive exercise while we learned our vocabulary and diagrammed sentences.
Raymond Jennings, Evergreen. English, again. Taught us how to write in a clear, consise fashion, and taught a section on Science Fiction.
And the best school official I ever met: Mr. Zan Smith, Evergreen Jr. High School. He had a reputation as a hard-ass. My friend Tony could do a dead-on impression of Mr. Smith that could stampede a hall full of loitering students. I had a few one-on-one meetings with him, though. I found out he was so strict because he genuinely cared about the students. He wanted them to learn. He cared about all of us.
Treasure the top teachers and anyone who works the system for the good of the students.
Chuck
AlEX JAY: Answered your question while still pooped and weary from fighting a min-basement flood. Minette Walters is the only non-American mystery writer on my list -- but I stand by all the rest if you haven't read them.
DTS (Rick: sorry for the double;I'll be scarce for a few days)
Mystery fiction
Alex Jay
Add Henning Mankell and Robert Van Gulik to your list of non American/British mystery writers.
Colleen
Not ain't that truly cool
In regards to the Ain't-It-Cool news about the whole Alan Moore-Hellblazer imbroglio…visit Neil Gaiman's journal for the real news behind the so-called news. Neil is a very, very, very close friend of Moore so he's got far much better insight on this than Harry Knowles' cadre of fan boys. Go to www.neilgaiman.com for more info.
Alejandro
Mystery writers
ALEX JAY: Not sure if you were the one whom Harlan turned onto _DECEMBER 6th_ by Martin Cruz Smith, but I recommend ALL of his novels. His Arkady Renko series (_Gorky Park_, _Polar Star_, _Red Square_, and the recent _Havana Bay_) is terrific; but the stand-alones (_Dec. 6th_, _Rose_, _Stallion Gate_, _Nightwing_) are simply excellent. And if you can dig up early books like _Gypsy in Amber_, _Canto for A Gypsy_, or even _The Indians Won_, do so. After that, check out anything by Minette Walters, Nevada Barr and Carol O'Connell. Joe R. Lansdale's "Hap & Leonard," East TX mystery series is always lots of fun (Savage Season, Mucho Mojo,The Two-Bear Mambo, Bad Chili, Rumble Tumble, Captains Outrageous). (If you're ever in the mood for tough-guy, crime fiction ala Richard Stark, Dan Simmons has been writing a fun line of novels: HARD CASE, HARD FREEZE and HARD AS NAILS...to be followed with HARD DAY'S DYING later this year -- his brother calls it the "viagra" series).
--DTS
http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/Movies/03/04/britain.awards.awards.ap/index.html
I wonder if they will include the Hugos and Nebulas.
-TODD
Hello folks,
Alex Jay's query about non-U.S./British mystery writers put me in mind immediately of Stanislaw Lem's THE INVESTIGATION. I bought my copy some years ago at Uncle Hugo's, which is now, as I understand it, the oldest science fiction bookstore in the country. Lem is known for his science fiction, certainly, but this title demonstrates that, like our host, he is master of more than one domain.
Paul
Mysteries and more
ALEX JAY--a mystery writer not to be missed is Stanley Ellin. If memory serves, Harlan's recommended him, too, so there are better pedigrees than my paltry stamp of approval. He was a terrific writer, who rarely indulged in series work, but created marvelous characters each time out. I particularly recommend his "House of Cards," if you can find it.
Also K.C. Constantine, but not for the mystery element so much. His Rocksburg novels are marvels of characterization and ethnic dialogue.
Brian, I could be wrong, but I dimly recall that when Robert Shaw rejected the screen credit for "The Man in the Glass Booth," he also rejected the money. Either way, I thought he was dead wrong, and that the film was a terrific adaptation of his own play (and novel). Still, the man was an actor as well as a writer, and he may have had a particular interpretation in mind, one that Maximillian Schell rejected in his portrayal. (Many years later, there was a godawful Star Trek, Deep Space Nine that ripped off the story, and did so very badly indeed.)
ALEX
I discovered two mystery writers suggested by Philip Jose Farmer on his webpage.
Arthur Ypfield was born in Britain but spent a large part of his life in Australia.His Inspector Napoleon (Bony) Bonaparte mysteries are very good.
Janwillem Van de Watering is a Dutch mystery/police procedural and is very cool.
(Jet me an email, Alex, and I will gladly tell you where you can find these cool things in great abundance.)
So far as James Ellroy is concerned...right on with the right on.
French Fries with gravy is called "wet fries" and I get 'em at the diner in downtown Sierra Vista, and they is goodly. I likes to dip 'em. I need some NOW.
CINDY: email me
INgrammatically,
Neal
Alex: I know, what a travesty to subject a perfectly good fried potato to immersion benath a blob of dank brown gelatinous substance rank with a psuedo-meat odor. The sight of the brutal abuse of spuds in such fashion often leaves me running around the food court of our local mall, doing my best impression of Phil Hartman doing his best impression of Chuck Heston:
"PEEEEEEPULLLLL!!!! IT"S MADE OUT OF PEEEEEEEPULLLLL!!!!!
I do leave politely when I'm asked by security.
And, I'm still trying to figure out what the hell poutine is. To Shrub, it was the name of our Prime Minister (Thanks to Rick Mercer for that little hoot!)
For me, the delight is Wally's, where one gets a massive plate of silver dollar fries drenched in five-alarm chili and sour cream, and then smothered in mozzarella cheeze for only $5.65. Fifty cents extra gets you a side of french-fried Caribbean pepper slices, a good nosh alongside the feast. Those with any history of gastric distress should avoid at all cost.
Mystery Writers: Bill Prozini, Fredric Brown (collect the "Fredric Brown in the Detective Pulps" series), Lawrence Block (who edited the FB series), Larry Niven's Gil Hamilton/ARM stories.
M
HARLAN,
Thanks for telling us about your friend and our buddy, Tom Auer.
Best,
Ray
Other Mystery Recommendations
ALEX,
Welcome to the Wolfe Pack...I can also recommend without hesitation: James Ellroy (whose birthday is today!), Gregory McDonald (the Fletch and Inspector Flynn novels), James M. Cain, Steve Thayer (Saint Mudd, The Weatherman, Silent Snow, The Wheat Field), Jack O'Connell (Box Nine, Wireless and The Skin Palace), Eric Ambler, George V. Higgins and Ross MacDonald.
There, that should keep you busy for a while.
Chris M.
Department of History Repeating Itself Department:
Over at Ain't It Cool News, they're reporting the following:
"After reviewing the script and casting of HELLBLAZER, Comic Kingpin Alan Moore has done the unthinkable. He's washed his hand of the entire debacle. That's right- he's instructed DC to NOT credit him as the creator of the character. And putting his money where his mouth is, he has instructed that the royalties that he was splitting with his co-creators goes EXCLUSIVELY to the artists, Veitch and Bissette.
Often we hear about an artist upset that his creation has been butchered but this is the first I can recall where the creator asked that both name and money be rejected."
Well, I'm sure we here at Ellison Wonderland can recall a precedent for Moore's protest, involving a Canadian SF show and Mr. Cordwainer Bird.
Mystery Writers
Alex Jay: Ed McBain, Donald Westlake, the four "Hoke Moseley" novels of Charles Willeford, the Butch Karp novels of Robert K. Tannenbaum (must be read in order), Carl Hiassen, Bill Fitzhugh, Jack Ketchum (shelved as horror; try his short story collection, PEACEABLE KINGDOM).
I am spacing out the name of the writer who wrote two novels, THE BAKER BOYS and THE CARETAKER. Nobody will ever compare either book to real life; the plots are wildly, deliberately improbable. In the first, two identical twins share one life and family in alternating months; complications ensue until just about everybody who would be affected by this secret, including a couple of mortal enemies, converges by sheer accident on the same floor of the same luxury hotel on the same night. Wild.
Also: Cornell Woolrich, Tim Dorsey (whose novels must also be read in order), John Katzenbach, Jonathan Kellerman...
...good start...
Just Curious...
Harlan,What are your thoughts on the news from NASA regarding "water on Mars"? Being that I've been reading Science Fiction and a big Astronomy buff since I was 2 it was sorrta "I knew it all along" reaction. Just curious as to what your thoughts are? Take care & stay cool!
John Pickett
Tom Auer
Harlan -- I'll be glad to include a mention of Mr. Auer in the Noreascon memorials page. Do you know the year of his birth?
M: C'maaann ... you guys eat fries with GRAVY, man ...(*)
(And really; if people eat the fodder at McToadburger's Wild Ride, it's almost a given that they deserve what they get)
(*) But then, I'm a sucker for Flamer's Cajun fries, which I get mit extra, extra, extra Cajun Spice (read: salt, cayenne, a little garlic, little parsley, little oregano) and piled high with sliced cherry peppers ...
HARLAN: Those who love the Printed Word are always of note, and should never go unnoted.
CHUCK: Though Sir Stephen's condition was described as "stable" as of last week, it looks as if his wife may well be abusing him, for all that he denies it. I dearly do hope that the police allegations are untrue; it bodes ill for one of the premier minds of our time, already hobbled by the disease-ravaged body it's bound in, to be the recipient of a particularly cruel case of someone else's Munchausen Syndrome by Proxy.
Couple things I wanted to get everyone's opinion on:
DISCOVERING THAT WHICH IS ALREADY FOUND: It's always a pleasure when I happen upon a great writer with a large and exquisite oeuvre which I've not read before. Late last year, I finally got around to Rex Stout, and have since devoured books of his in the double digits. Right now, after much urging from my sister (whose taste and brilliance by now I shouldn't doubt--it was she who opened her bookshelf and the joys of science fiction and fantasy to me, nigh on three decades back), I'm finally getting 'round to Dorothy Sayers. I'd only read a couple translations Ms. Sayers did of Greek classics, but it seems sure that the ten or so books of hers on my shelves won't stay unread long.
(I guess I stayed away from her work because of my disdain for "cozies," those bloodless and oh-so-veddy culturedmysteries with dowager detectives and ever-so-precise Belgians. Don't like Dame Agatha much, I'm afraid. But Sayers' Harriet Vane and Lord Peter Wimsey are a fine British counterpart to Nick and Nora Charles, and a great joy to follow (I just wish I knew more Latin and more of the classics, that I might better grasp the Thirties Oxonian influence).
As I often find in mystery fiction depths which seem to go unplumbed in mainstream literature (just look at the insights to be found in a John D. McDonald or Sharyn McCrumb book), can anyone recommend any mystery writers NOT of the States or the British Isles? I have a book or two by Finns Maj Sjowall and Per Wahloo, but haven't yet gotten to it (my next "new" writer to try will, I think, be Chester Himes)--any suggestions from the gallery?
ROBINSON'S RECOGNITION: Bud Selig (From the heart of hell, I stab at thee! For hate's sake, I spit my last breath at thee!) just declared that now and evermore, April 15th will be Jackie Robinson Day in Major League Baseball. I honestly don't know how I feel about this. Lord knows I've waxed rhapsodic about the diamonded sport at great and nauseating length here and elsewhere--and it's a great thing to see Jackie's achievements and perserverance get recognition outside of February and Token History Month (and for that matter, what the hell's with March as "Women's History Month"? Fifty-two percent of the population--and you get a whole month! Whoo!), I have to wonder: What about Larry Doby? Wasn't it almost as difficult for him to endure? And hell; it wasn't easy for Don Newcombe, or Roy Campanella, either. But more, what about those legends who never even got to The Show, like Cool Papa Bell or Josh Gibson? And hey; why can't the Supreme Court declare a Thurgood Marshall Day?
I understand that Stephen Hawking is in the hospital. I don't know much beyond that, except that it seems serious. Not that the man hasn't beat the odds all bloody up unitl now, but I hope he manages to hang in there a little longer. We need as many living voices for reason as possible.
Here in Colorado, 12 cattle died within two hours about 24 to 48 hours ago. No further details.
The two stories are not related, as far as I know.
Chuck
Loved the interview with Mr. Ellison in The Bloomsbury Review that was published about 12-13 years ago. Still have it nestled in my collection of Ellisonia.
Today would be the birthday of Tom Auer, my friend, and the creator/publisher/editor of The Bloomsbury Review, had he not untimely died much too young last year. And Ed Bryant and I know most, if not all, of you didn't know Tom; but he was our buddy, and a remarkable human being, and an outstanding man of letters who merely LOVED the written word when it was proffered with skill and heart ... and so I note him here today because, well, I guess somebody SHOULD.
Sighing softly, Harlan
Todd:
"In the news: McDonald's to phase out super-sizing in 2004.
Yup, more proof that people today can't control their own lives so they need the big bad corporation to control it for them.
Then again, it could be a big conspiracy to force those without willpower to simply order TWO larges, thus getting fatter and fatter and spending more and more money."
Just a bit more information, Todd:
http://www.6URL.com/QP
I draw your attention to the second paragraph:
"The size of the biggest order of fries sold by the fast-food chain, at six ounces, won't change in this country. McDonald's Canada admitted today they're just changing the name for it back to 'large'."
It'll be the same stratregy for the drinks too. Relax, Todd, it's only for Canada. Apparently, McD's has more concern for the health of Americans than us obese hosers.
At least us hosers who don't deny themselves the artery-clogging futility of comsuming one of their double-cheeze shitburgers.
Now, the other side: Frank, I've got you pegged as either a mole for the Shrub/Cheney Re-election campaign (don't you long for the good old days when Republicans could find a good and fitting acronym like C.R.E.E.P.?), the money earned forming a good wage padder alongside your day job as counsellor at the G. Gordon Liddy daycare center (Have your kid in by nine, and we'll have 'em brainwashed by five!), or a former member of the Politburo trying desperately to bring back a taste of your former glory by getting the Moscow Wal-mart to honour the party member discount on your faded G.U.M. card. I haven't quite made up my mind yet.
Perhaps you and Todd are one and the same. I've never seen the two of you in the same place at the same time.
M
> Not sure what the insinuation is...can you explain further. The statement seemed to have a discriminatory tone and unclear if that was the aim.
I think it means that even a lefty like Frank is honest enough to recognize that the Muslim world is a hotbed of anti-Semitism that makes most of Western - and Eastern - Europe look like the Upper West Side, and that Gibson's film (which, according to reliable sources, is full of the crudest images this side of Der Sturmer) is likely to stoke the fires of bigotry. (And when that happens it'll be fun to read David Horowitz explaining away his support of Mel Gibson.)
Frank sez: "Imagine when that movie goes into Islamic countries. Scary days." (The quote was deleted for some strange reason)...sorry
Frank sez: > Not sure what the insinuation is...can you explain further. The statement seemed to have a discriminatory tone and unclear if that was the aim.
Infomite (whoever you are):
You'll notice that I did not use quotations in my summation of the ad--I did not intend to quote it directly but to address its subtext. You are right, however, that the lawyers did vet the ad so that the Pepsi Cola does not actually advocate theft in precise language, but the meaning is entirely clear. The creation of a contest that feeds off the culture of theft and irresponsibility is sickening. Cola companies know they have to market to the young and so giving sanction to youthful criminality seems to be the new ploy of the vacuous moussed haircuts that run that company.
Ever the kurmudgeon,
Steve Dooner
Homer update
For those that have been asking...
The second surgery went great and Homer was actually able to come home this morning instead of spending an extra day in the clinic like he did last time. He had a better recovery and less swelling than with the right leg, which leaves me hopeful we won't have the same nightmare we had last time. He's on the guest bed now sleeping off the morphine. Had a BITCH of a time getting him there. More info at http://homerdog.com/tplo
Jim Carrey
He's interviewed in the March issue of Playboy, and the "Lex Luthor look" is part of his preparation to play the evil uncle in the new Lemony Snicket movie.
Warm Regards,
Neal
Hi Cindy
A-TC wrote concering Moore's getting stomped by the elephant at the beginning of the Oscars telecast:
"For that two seconds also carried the message: ha ha ha, never mind, I was just being a wacky guy...never mind."
Hmmm. I believe I understand what you're saying and I think you are correct when you recount Hoffman's reasons for not being part of a joke or skit, but I also think that Moore getting stomped by the elephant has more to do with a joke at the Academy as opposed to trivilializing Moore's validity in regards to his statements at the Oscars in 2003. I think Moore's statements are very much as true then as they are now and I don't think being part of the joke vindicates any assumption of him being a wacky guy.
HOWEVER...
Your broader point does bear some thinking through and I think if someone looks as if they're "joking" too many times, no matter the validity of their statements, they soon cease to be considered "serious". I think Moore's schtick is what makes Moore Moore, but if you have a President talking about the seriousness of violence in the Middle East and then promptly saying, "Watch this drive." as he swings the golf club then I think it does show that President's irresponsibility towards whatever subject he was talking about---in that case, the Middle East.
I think what separates the two (and I used the President 'cause it was the only thing I could think of at the top of my head; I'm not trying to make a statement one way or the other regarding his Presidency---even though he's a moron and the worst President ever---now, that's a statement) is the perception of power of the person making the statements and the jokes.
On the one hand, you have a President of the United States---unarguably leader of the strongest and richest country on Earth---talking about how terrible the situation is in another part of the world and then seeming to casually dismiss the very valid, compassionate remarks with one swing of a golf club; and on the other hand you have a self-deprecating filmmaker who is known for his liberal views, but also for his sense of humor and is not a leader or president or CEO of anything other than himself and so is making fun of nothing more than his posturing in front of an audience that booed him first time around.
I think it's this perception that indicated it was the right thing to do for Abbie Hoffman to balk at being part of Mike Douglas' joke since Hoffman is, and was, considered one of the leaders of a so-called counter-cultural revolution. Leaders can joke around, but they better not do it in regards to their *work* or what they stand for.
I think Moore is a gadfly. Being a gadfly gives one some leeway in joking around or being self-deprecating.
Cindiana Jones:
Consider yourself and Paris high-fived. Then low-fived, and then backwards. Telling the truth until they listen is the way to go.
Chuck
P.S. As far as the Oscars are concerned, I think Belleville Rendezvous should have won best song. I also liked the presentation of the Achievment award to Blake Edwards. And what's with Jim Carey's Lex Luthor look?
Please, You Must Stop Me From Eating
In the news: McDonald's to phase out super-sizing in 2004.
Yup, more proof that people today can't control their own lives so they need the big bad corporation to control it for them.
Then again, it could be a big conspiracy to force those without willpower to simply order TWO larges, thus getting fatter and fatter and spending more and more money.
It's like me saying: Hey, Rick, please shut down the board because the 10+ minutes a day I may spend on it is forcing me to spend less quality time with my wife and pug pups.
-TODD
pleasepleasepleaseplease
i don't know the names of any of the hollywood deities, but i implore someone to please lift up pleasant sacrifices to same. that we may implore them not to allow someone screw up "Princess of Mars". pleasepleaseplease?
Cindy--gurl, ya'll gwine ta emayull me or wutt? eye will need ya'lls mailin' ADDress.
Sincerely,
Neal
I'm watching the fun NASA briefing right now, and I have to wonder just how many stories, articles, and blogs will reference the last line of Sturgeon's "The Man Who Lost the World."
But the news from NASA isn't the only great Mars news this week:
... well, not Mars so much as "Barsoom."
Reports have come out that after director Robert Rodriguez does a SIN CITY film based on the comics of, and in collaboration with, Frank Miller (Yay!), he'll be tackling Burroughs' PRINCESS OF MARS. And the fact that Rodriguez was just at the Frazetta Museum and had a good long conversation with the Great and Powerful Fraz himself ... this could be very, very good.
Yea, Ebert had monkey boy in tow on Leno last night, Praising the hell out of Gibson's monstrous jew hate bilge. He is sick, so I will give him a bit of slack. But, monkeyboy, I just give him the knuckle fandango.
Imagine when that movie goes into Islamic countries. Scary days.
--------------
Prince is on Ellen 2morrow. Yeeeehawww.
Paris in the Almost-Spring Time
CINDY: Great story. Paris sounds like a winner. I'm always amazed at how much I love my daughter. It really is _different_ from the love one feels for a spouse, relative or good friend. And I'm always taken aback when I meet a parent -- it's always obvious when I do -- who doesn't feel this sort of all-consuming, never-ending love for their child. Absolutely nothing I have experienced in life -- from wild, lust-filled romances to the adrenaline-pumping, life-risking stunts and adventures undertaken in my adolescence, teens and early twenties -- has ever compared to the roller coaster ride of raising and loving a child. It's the best.
--DTS
REPLY TO BRIAN SIANO:
You weren't hallucinating. I was indeed thanked from the stage of the Oscars some years ago. By the winner of the Academy Award for Best Live Short Film. Her name was Shelley Levinson and it was I who got her out of an abusive marriage in New York, got her safely to Los Angeles, housed her till she got on her feet, fulfilled her lifelong dream of being a film director by using my influence as an instructor at the American Film Institute to get her enrolled there, and kept her afloat financially by having her do the production on my first HERC recordings. She and I and Susan remain friends with her to this day; she is a terrific and funny lady; and a real pal.
So she thanked me when they gave her the Oscar.
As she was staying here at the time, she brought it home and I got to heft it. Damn skippy it's heavy.
Yrs. in Gibson, Harlan
NASA to Announce “Significant Mars Findings” Today
-- First: NASA is supposed to announce “significant findings” from the Mars probes (Opportunity in particular) today at 2:00 Eastern. The announcement almost certainly involves the presence of water in Mars’ past, but many sharp observers have noted that there appears to be brine – extremely salty water – under the duracrust surface of Mars. This brine can stay in a liquid state under much colder temperatures than fresh water. (Others have noted that, when the rovers have dug trenches, not only do they look dark (muddy!) but they later become very shiny. Are they finally freezing when exposed above the duracrust?
http://news.yahoo.com/fc?tmpl=fc&cid=34&in=science&cat=mars_exploration
Here's something else: the presence of this brine doesn't necessarily rule out the existence of life on Mars; there are tiny organisms on Earth called halophiles that thrive in extremely salty conditions (indeed, they'll die if exposed to fresh water.)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Halophile
-- Tom C. and others re: the “Jewish Cowboy comments…” Yep, I absolutely thought “Whoa – it’s Bucky Goldstein!” when I met “Grandpa” (see my earlier post.) He was a charming elderly man, and Joan and I appreciated his warmth and desire to see us join their gathering on Saturday morning.
-- Cindy: “I tell the truth until they hear me.” That is one of the smartest, wisest, coolest quotes I’ve heard in a long time. Please give your daughter a hug from me and tell her that she’s a good kid. As the saying goes, if you always tell the truth, you can always remember what you said.
-- The Oscars: Although I’ve never been able to get past the first 2 pages of “Lord of the Rings” (I’ve been a huge SF fan my entire life, but I’ve never gotten into D&D-type fantasy, period), I’ve enjoyed the LOTR films quite a bit, and think that they’re stunning achievements. I’m glad ROTK won, and I *love* the Annie Lennox song “Into the West” – it brings tears to my eyes when I hear it.
-- Slight movie rant: “Lost in Translation” should get the “Most Overrated Film of the Year” award, IMO. I’m sorry, but this slightly amusing, often dull, and somewhat bigoted film simply wouldn’t have gotten made if the writer/director wasn’t Francis Ford Coppola’s daughter. For Anglos to make fun of the way Asians speak – the old “flied lice” routine -- isn’t witty or amusing; transpose those scenes with WASPs making fun of black street talk, or Yiddish, or Southern drawls, or the musical rhythms of Eastern Indian speech, and you’d get a lot of people pissed off, and rightly so. I went to see this movie with a great deal of anticipation, and left bored and in a sour mood. My wife liked it slightly more, but we both agreed: If you want to see a much better rendition of what “Translation” was trying to do, i.e, present the delicate relationship of two people finding each other for a brief time, in a foreign land, go see Richard Linklater’s vastly superior “Before Sunrise.” (A continuation of this story is coming out this year called “Before Sunset,” and we’re looking forward to it.)
-- A trailer for a movie rant: Evil films? When I get more time, I’ll post my frothing-at-the-mouth rant about one of my most loathed films – “Sleepless in Seattle,” one of the absolute worst “romantic comedies” ever made. It exemplifies what Harlan has called “shallow templates” in characterization, plot, and human behavior, and it’s one of the few films that’s not only offended me, but made me (and my wife) genuinely angry. Stay tuned!
-- Jon
>Is it me, or is Ebert's quality of reviewing slipping of late?<
It's not you...Ebert HAS been slipping, and not just of late. He's been over-rating movies for the past 2-3 years now, giving top reviews to efforts like "Kill Bill," "Blackhawk Down," "May," and now Gibson's medieval fantasy.
I'm not saying that any of these films are bad, but a four-star rating from Ebert used to be pretty special, reserved for films that were seriously above the pack, and had a shot at being watched 10 years from now. Being an "event" picture should not be a consideration. I think he gave "Mystic River" fours stars as well...in my opinion, at least a half star too much.
A-T C, re: Hoffman. The guy truly stuck to his convictions and beliefs. When I was in law school in the mid-80's, lo and behold, Abby Hoffman was out in front of the undergrad book store espousing sound thoughts. All garbed in his hippie gear, long hair and beard. Even though he appeared anachronistic, his beliefs were dead on in the middle of Reaganomics and conservative Miami.
Just a quick one...
Jon A. Bell (well, any Jon will do): Correct.
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2003/08/04/1059849338248.html?from=storyrhs
I found it rather disturbing to read of Gibson's intentions to proselytize being more the driving force than artistic merit. At least Scorcese tried to take a step back from the mythos of Christ, conjecturing more about the human Jesus that has been replaced by the edification of the "Son Of God" within the perpetuation of staunch (I often think hypnotizing) adherence to dogma that is often laid onto religious followers.
Left me feeling that I'd actually purchased a tract, when normally I take the ones given to me and throw them in the garbage. I guess this one's shame on me.
Even more disturbing is watching Roger Ebert (and subsequently reading him: http://www.suntimes.com/output/ebert1/cst-ftr-passion24.html) promoting the film for Gibson's sermon-like intent. The taliban always liked people to know up front what films they'd like them to see.
An afterthought: Is it me, or is Ebert's quality of reviewing slipping of late? I can't help but feeling that he's being dumbed down by the dulling prescence of that idiot Roeper, a critic created to pander to the 13 year old male crowd demographic, one where no film could ever be bad if the kids like it. Roeper would give a good review to a high-school cafeteria tuna melt.
Wishing Gene Siskel would rise from the grave and smite down my enemies, M
Oscar-Related Question for Harlan.
A few years back-- within the last ten years-- I was watching the Academy Awards, and they were giving the award for Best Short Subject or Best Documentary or something like that. The recipient, a woman, recited the names of people she wanted to thank... and one of the names sure _sounded_ like "Harlan Ellison."
I was only half-interested, so this caught me by surprise. And I wasn't taping the show, so I had no way of verifying what I'd heard. But do you recall ever getting Thanked by a filmmaker who'd won such an award?
Michael Moore
I've been thinking about that moment during the Oscars, when Michael Moore allowed himself to be used as a joke, shouting out a version of his political remarks from last year before being stomped by one of LOTR's Oliphaunts.
I absolutely understand why Moore would go along with this. His brand of political humor has always included a healthy degree of self-deprecation, and even if you believe (as many do) that it is also polluted by self-aggrandizement, the one thing even his most acerbic critics cannot say about his body of work is that he's unwilling to make fun of himself.
So he went along with the gag.
Why not? What's the harm?
I once met the gadfly of another age, Abby Hoffman, and one of the things he spoke about on that occasion was an incident on the Mike Douglas show, where he appeared wearing an American flag shirt and the show's producer, outraged that he would do such a thing, put a CENSORED block over the shirt for the duration of his appearance.
Abby noted that they would have not have done this to a country singer, or to a girl in a star-spangled production number. They did it to him. They did it to sell the impression that he was an anti-american subversive whose use of the flag was somehow suspect.
The incident raised a furor, and Mike Douglas decided to make it a gag. He would do a skit where somebody wore an American flag t-shirt and a CENSORED patch would go crazy trying to follow him all over the stage.
The show invited Abby to sit in the audience, so the cameras could cut to him laughing, and therefore buying into the pretense that he bore no grudge at a harmless misunderstanding.
Abby, to his credit, said no. You want to say that I'm a joke, and you want me to buy into the pretense that I'm a joke. I won't do that. What you did to me was not harmless and I am not going to help you sell the idea that it was harmless.
It took less than a year for widespread revelations about faked WMD evidence to vindicate Moore's much-condemned Oscar rant about fictitious wars.
By allowing himself to be used as the object of a cheap gag where he is stomped by a fantasy elephant at the height of a similar political rant, Moore showed his sense of humor -- but also his poor judgment. For that two seconds also carried the message: ha ha ha, never mind, I was just being a wacky guy...never mind.
Whatever else you think about him and Moore, Hoffman clearly showed more sense. A-TC
Cindy.
"I tell the truth until they hear me."
Wow. I just wrote that one down on my wall at work.
Glad it all went so well.
Mike
I agree with what everyone said about the Oscars, even if that means one agreement contradicts another.
I like Billy Crystal, but, yeah, move on. Your Sammy was good, but I really, really, really didn't need to see him naked. If I wanted to see a slight man with a paunch, I'd look at myself in the mirror.
Adrien Brody probably had the funniest bit all night with the Binaca.
Ben Stiller should stick to roles such as the one he had in ZERO EFFECT. For some reason, women find him attractive. I find that appalling and fascinating at the same time.
Chris, take those blinders off your eyes, man, and take another look at the comedic genius that is Will Ferrell. And this must, must happen: JB and KG need to be at next year's Oscars. I will not argue about this. Maybe Jack doesn't have the experience to actually host the show on his own, but he definitely could be co-host. Watching the clips of the major leaguer Bob Hope clearly indicated that Crystal was in double-A itching for a shot at the majors.
I think recipients of Oscars should be allowed to say anything they want, political or otherwise. I also want to see someone receive an Oscar and say: "I'd like to thank myself 'cause without me this would not have been possible. No one but me contributed to this so I thank no one but myself. Good day to you, sir. I said, good day!"
Or, they could say, "I'd like to thank Satan for making this all possible. Praise Him."
Pepsi Commercials and the Lawyers that Vet Them
Steve Dooner wrote, "Also, I was appalled by a new TV advertisement being run by Pepsi Cola where a child, who apparently had been charged with piracy, proudly declares that she will continue to steal from the internet."
Actually, the exact words are: "[W]e're _still_ going to download music free of off the internet." Then the kids all smile and hold up Pepsi bottles. The music playing underneath them is "I Fought the Law", covered by Green Day, whose lyrics include: "and the law won".
It's a play on words, son - they are "winning" free songs (100 million of 'em) by buying and drinking Pepsi Cola.
Aside from having to drink the nasty sugar swill and the grammatically poor construction of the sentence - the commercial is offering entirely legal and truthful information and it's definitely NOT advocating stealing from the internet.
Informationally yours,
the mite
Julie's Memorial
Excellent, Harlan. I look forward to seeing you.
--JCH
Mr.Smith withdrew the detention.
Paris and I explained what had actually happened. She finished her sentence about not giving the letters to the F word in the "right order". I told him that Paris and I had discussed protocol for the next time someone asks her for the proper spelling of what she refers to as a " cussy word." Paris said, " I'll say, ' look it up in the dictionary. THEN I'll say, and write it on a balloon and give it to Mr. Smith so YOU can see what it feels like to get a detention notice. Mr. Smith was then laughing too hard to be intimidating. On the way back to her class she had an enormous Cheshire cat smile on her face and tears in her eyes, she was walking with a skip in her step.
I said, " So now you know what to do when somebody tries to punish you for something you didn't do? She said, " I tell the truth until they hear me."
Thanks Harlan.
:)
Cindy
Neal,
Your taste is superlative. Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys played in Austin alot when I was growing up. The Kinkster just gets better with age. Do you read his articles in Texas Monthly?
He's the man.
:)
Cindy
GUY:
No, I don't mind. Just make sure I get a couple, three copies, if you will.
JACK:
Yes, I'll be there. Flying in to NYC on 17th, flying out late on the 19th.
Harlan
Jewish Cowboys
Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys are a few of my favorite things...since someone was on the topic.
Somebody needs to go look at what Chuck Palahniuk did in the March Playboy. (Let me apologize in advance.)
I like Will Ferrell...and Rob. Well, I guess it all starts to make sense.
Hi, Unca Harlan.
Peace, my peeps,
Neal
Julius Schwartz Memorial
Harlan, are you making it east to attend Julie's Memorial? Just wondering.
--JCH
Rick,
I'm thinking good thoughts tonight for Homer as he prepares to go under the knife; wishing him a speedy recovery and many more healthy, happy years with his best buddy.
Peace,
Steve J.
Ah -- 'yes' to Will Ferrell and Jack Black hosting the Oscars, but only if Tenacious D does the opening montage complete with movie references set to D's songs. There's definitely something to be done with The Passion of the Christ and "The Greatest Song in the World." I'll leave the year's crop of movies to yield up a film suitable to be melded with "Kyle Took A Bullet For Me."
And yay, Denys Arcand won an Oscar. But he didn't get time to give a speech.
Cheers, Jon
Oscar-Winning Song
Yeah, I don't think Anne Lennox deserved the Oscar. All the other nominees were more worthy of the award, but I hoped that Annette O'Toole and Michael McKean would get it for "A Kiss At The End of The Rainbow" if only to recognize A Mighty Wind.
The Oscars
A unique sweep -- more Oscars than any other films except Ben-Hur and that inexecrable cartoon about the ocean liner. Wonderful. Peter Jackson mentioned fans. Sweet. Justice and glory.
More hams won awards at the Oscars than at a state fair. Penn and Zellwegger flew ROCKETS over the top. Tim Robbins was excellent, but I'd've prefered the living god, Baldwin.
Theron's, on the other hand, was a sublime award. I fear, though, that she lost the more important contest, for most stunning superbabe, to Kidman.
HARLAN -- I plan on running some photos from the 1970 Nebula Awards in my next genzine, if I'm given permission by the owner of the shots -- Quinn Yarbro. One picture is of the Nebula-switching gag you pulled to congratulate LeGuin -- which allowed some nasty souls to snipe at you, without reason. You wrote up the incident in introducing "The Word for World is Forest" in ADV. Would it bug you if I ran it?
>(a Jewish cowboy, if you can imagine such a thing; he was wearing a bolo tie and had a yarmulke on under his cowboy hat!)
Not Bucky Goldstein?!?!
(Steven Wright reference)
Quick addition
Wow! Thanks for the Hitchens review. Gibson apparently lied about removing the blood libel scene from his movie. It's still there, but there is no translation subtitle for the Aramaic! Everyone should seek out James Carroll's review from the Boston Globe, Meacham's for Newsweek and Denby's for the New Yorker. I will take a few days off for posting twice.
Steve Dooner
HARLAN: I thought I would give you heads up on a story in The New York Times day. It seems the Committee on Economic Development has made a statement that "tough" internet piracy laws are "bad for the economy." I thought it was outrageous for the government to make this statement, and I wanted you to be aware that there may be new pressure on courts to find FOR the thieves and the criminals.
Also, I was appalled by a new TV advertisement being run by Pepsi Cola where a child, who apparently had been charged with piracy, proudly declares that she will continue to steal from the internet.
Here is a link to NY Times story:
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/03/01/technology/01rights.html?ex=1079135824&ei=1&en=07179e25e17572d2
This is becoming a culture of theft. I'm an educator and am swamped in a sea of student plagiarism--everyone I know is complaining about it. There are many teachers I know who are inspired by your fight. I will keep doing what I can to help.
In your corner,
Steve Dooner
Again, I briefly de-lurk!
BE WARNED: Longish post and parts will be gushy!
Susan: Thank You! Thank You! Your Care parcel arrived today. I was worried about the lp, but it came through just fine; you know HE's right, you don't need a glue-gun with your natural packing talent (and as the editor, Could I trouble you for your autograph on my next HERC newsletter).
Let's see: I have mousepads, videos, dvds, magazines, photos, mailings, books (many!), comics, and a Computer game, in a Pear Tree! My collection aproaches a level (100+ items) where, speakings as a former librarian, I can reasonably say that this is a representive sample of HE's work (I still need an example of a fanzine work, dammit! Mike Resnick occasionally has a few on E-bay, but my Ghod, the price they go for!) Of course, the ultimate HE collectable, is HE himself! Susan, what's the going price for a couple of fingernail clippings or locks of hair suitable for voodoo and/or cloning rituals (Heh, heh, yes Harlan, you Will never die, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!)
Harlan: You are too kind, sir! I really didn't expect you to sign the comics! Your care in tearing out just a little part of the plastic to sign the 'Jeffty' lp was much appreciated, however now I'm not sure I can now bear to open and play it! Is it the same one on tape at the HERC store?
One other teensy question: You had already signed the lp before the shrink wrap went on (#15/500) but when you signed it to me it was clearly noticible you have changed your signature: When/Why did you do this? I mean, the current ‘H’, with it’s bold slashes is certainly appealing, however, I (for one), certainly prefer your more classical and craftsmanlike swooshes (and, yes, I do have far too much time bloody time on my hands, but these questions will be vitaly important to those writing literary monographs on your work in the future!) :).
To Evil Yog Soggoth Thingy: Beware grasshopper! I humbly suggest you review CD 'On the Road With Harlan' for opinion of late lamented Carl Sagan and recipe for Dead Gopher Stew! Be afraid! Be Very Afraid!
To the movie nuts: I humblely suggest that 'Casablanca' is the epitomy of all film excellence, but I will accept that 'Woman of the Dunes', 'Citizen Kane', 'Alphaville', and '8 1/2' come close.
To Frank Church: Your obsession with Chomsky not only indicates a extremely perceptive nature but also a very mature and knowledgeble mind (now if that doesn't get Rob going (I honestly miss him), nothing will)!
peace,
Jono
I can't take the Oscars very seriously. It's nice when a film I like gets an award, but I try to avoid seeing these as a referendum on anything. It's neat to watch the techies get their awards (hey, I do care who wins sound design and visual effects), and it's fun when the ceremony goes kerflooey.
Re Billy Crystal. I enjoyed him when he was on _Saturday Night Live_, and I remember his doing an astonishing monologue on the life of Mohammad Ali while switching between the voices of Ali and Howard Cosell. But the _Village Voice_ nailed Crystal's problem when they reviewed _Mr. Saturday Night_; they said Crystal wouldn't be truly happy until he went bald, his nose began to droop, and hair sprouted out of his ears just like all the aging Borscht-belt comics he was paying tribute to. At root, he's a comic who wants to be universally entertaining. Not a bad goal, but it does bland people out.
There are many great mysteries in the world but none greater to me than the fact that people cannot see how unbearably awful and infuriating and irritating and witless Will Ferrell is. This man should be liquidated and sold for parts just to prevent him from ever appearing in front of a camera again. WHat the hell is wrong with everyone???? Can't you see??????
OK, that's out of the way.
Mark said he was sick of politics at the Oscars - well, they sure as hell took care of that this year, didn't they? Yeesh, what a nauseating suck-up this year's Oscars was. "We're all good, decent, middle-of-the-road Americans. See, we all brought mom with us. And we even have Michael Moore getting stomped by an elephant just to apologize for letting him dare speak his mind last year!"
I'm sick of politics NOT being at the Oscars. The implication being that film and politics have no business mixing. What a depressing notion. Of course, film should be concerned with politics and filmmakers likewise.
Not that I expected otherwise but what a shame that Keisha Castle-Hughes didn't win. Maybe if she puts on 50 points and ages 60 years and gets a sex change operation for her next role, the voters will ooh and ah and give it to her.
Penn was good but Murray was brilliant and it was a crime to see him robbed. If there's one rule at the Oscars, the loudest, most over-the-top performance is going to win almost every time. Scenery-chewing gets the vote almost every time.
LOTR was great and deserving for most awards but the score stinks. Sorry to say it. It's unimaginative, bombastic and utterly boring. So were most of the other scores nominated - are they even different scores anymore? The Hans Zimmer/Howard Shore/James Hoerner school of "We really like John Williams" scoring all blends together for me. FInding Nemo was the only _original_ score out of the group.
And of course Triplets should have won for best song but that wasn't gonna happen. I love Annie Lennox but that song is a relatively weak effort for her.
Well I didn't watch the Oscars, but I have to agree with Mark and Li'l Washu: I don't care for Billy Crystal OR Ben Stiller. Though I think I'd apply "smarmy" to Billy first of all. I'm not sure why Stiller is always cast in comedic roles, he looks like the sociopaths whose pictures adorn the post office walls. Something about those eyes, he looks as if he's listening to The Voices In His Head. Maybe he'd be better as a mad slasher type.
Well,as expected, ROTK sweeped the Academy off it's feet. I wasn't able to catch the broadcast, but frankly after last year's little fiasco (these jerks had the AUDACITY to boo Michael Moore off-stage? What were they expecting the minute he got up in there in the first place?), I wouldn't have had the stomach or the will to tune in anyway. And why the heck wasn't ROTK given at least a little more competition? Even letting THE HULK get nominated in Visual Effects category would have been some welcome variety to the proceedings.
MARK,
I'm afraid I don't 'get' Ben Stiller either. There's something intangible, something smarmy about his brand of humour that repels me like sour milk. Some of the best comedians make the effort they put into their work invisible to the naked eye. With Stiller, it's as if he's repeatedly smashing his face against the camera just to squeeze a single smirk from the audience. His forced theatrics remind me of a TINY TOON ADVENTURES cartoon, with all of it's obnoxious mugging and wannabe wiseassery intact.
FRANK,
"...the scene where the little Bruce Campbells' attack the big Bruce is the funniest thing I have ever seen."
No kidding. Why can't Tom Cruise ever be assaulted by midget versions of himself?
London Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down...
Rick: Oh poor Homer! I hope all goes well with his operation. I have loved seeing his picture here. He looks like a giant version of my dogs ( pugs ). They are all in the same family believe it or not. Mine are Mini mastiffs! Does Homer have hip dysplasia? How old is he? In any case, I'll be thinking about you both.
Oscars
Billy Crystal should be put out to pasture; tired jokes, lame mugging for camera time, trite comebacks. As Keith Richards once said about George Michael, "Shave and go home." Well, I have no problem with Crystal's personal grooming, but he should go home. I second Jack Black as next year's host.
Can someone explain Ben Stiller to me? I just don't get him.
Happy that Robbins, Penn and Jackson et al won. Very glad that Eastwood did not. I admire much about _Mystic River_, but it was not the Herculean effort that Jackson gave us.
After they retire Billy Crystal, they should bestow the same honors on the ubiquitous Mr. Sting.
Rich I'm with you - the song from the _Triplets of Belleville_ should have won.
Loved Blake Edwards' wheelchair entrance and have always loved his brand of slapstick.
Eric: how can you tell the difference between Murray's hangdog expression and his other facial expressions?
And finally I am sick, sick, SICK of even the slightest hint of politics during acceptance speeches, left or right. Basta!
John Bell: Great post, man. One of the best I've read here in a while (With the exception of Harlan's, of course). Substitute Roman Catholic for Southern Baptist and you've nearly described my spiritual trajectory.
Frank: Hitchens wrote brilliantly on the latest offering from the Marquis de Gibson, but check out Denby's review if you haven't; it's pretty insightful. Also, take a look at James Caroll's essay on the Common Dreams website, a reprint of his Boston Globe op-ed piece. All three expose Gibson for the masochist he is.
Mark W.
Here's a different take...
I have not seen the movie yet, so I don't feel qualified to comment on it. However, here's a review from a renowned SF author (Orson Scott Card) who also happens to share my faith. I won't see it simply because he recommends it; I haven't even decided if I'm going to see it at all. But I believe that his review, and the points he raises about the story and its spiritual aspects, are well worth considering.
http://www.ornery.org/essays/warwatch/2004-02-29-1.html
I think Chris Hitchens has the best review of the Mel Gibson film so far.
Warning, he calls it 'fascist'.
http://slate.msn.com/id/2096323
Lots of critics just hate this movie.
----------------
I saw Army Of Darkness, and I hafta say, the scene where the little Bruce Campbells' attack the big Bruce is the funniest thing I have ever seen. Side splitting.
----------------
The Oscar's became the walk of boredom. Snooze.
Well, at least that nasty Hobbit said goodbye for good.
David, I watched the Oscars, an annual tradition...made jalapeno poppers and swedish meatballs.
I thought the fashions were a little less-stellar this year, and what's with these fat knots on all the guys' ties? Peter Jackson couldn't even be bothered to get his neck-button fastened; come on dude, it's the Oscars. No-one will think less of your cred if you get fitted properly. Brosnan was about the only well-tailored man there, along with Sean Penn.
Charlize Theron had some kind of skin paint applied which looked awful. Nicole Kidman has serious eating issues. I thought Naomi Watts, Sofia Coppolla, and the woman who played Electra all looked lovely. Susan Sarandon still gets my heart singing. The best dress may have been Angelina Jolie's--yowsa.
The stage patter was the usual hit-or-miss. Crystal's intro went on too long this time...too much singing. Jim Carrey is obviously starting to lose it. The pace was good, and I liked the way they did the songs in bunches. Odd to start the death clips with a tribute to Gregory Peck, as if his death was the hardest to bear, or the most important.
Nice tribute to Blake Edwards, a director easily written-off as too light. Too many awards for Lord of the Rings--did Howard Shore really need to win again for essentially the same score? Other films could have used the little boost that even a technical Oscar will provide.
Bill Murray needs to learn a little humility--his hang-dog expression after losing was a little icky. Crystal's making light of it just worsened matters. I liked all the nominees on the stage at the end--nice touch.
Beforehand, on the red carpet, Joan Rivers was far superior to the terrible ABC interviewers, who seemed to go out of their way to make tasteless jokes and act like fawning groupies. And do any of the Hobbits ever date? Geez, it's one of the biggest nights of your life, can't you find someone to share it with? Or are they all gay? I'm personally getting tired of attendees showing up with their Mom, their kid, or as a third wheel to another couple.
Those are scattershot impressions; anyone else?
movies
Wow, I came in here expecting to see a lot more buzz about last night's Academy Awards. Maybe you're all tired. And this is not to say I watched it either (I was rereading _The Tin Woodman of Oz_, still by far one of my favorites for its odd combination of grown-up pathos and even slight creepiness), but I noticed the color photo of Tim Robbins hefting his statuette on the cover of this morning's NYT.
I'm glad he won it. A role like his in "Mystic River" is a lot harder to bring off than many of the more flashy parts that people often win for. And I hope his win does not carry the slightest political whiff of Hollywood thumbing its nose at Bush and Middle America for their discomfort with Robbins offscreen -- much as I know politics is impossible to divorce from the Hollywood award process.
The Portland Int'l Film Festival is over. Along with films I mentioned in the past week, I caught "Wilbur Wants to Kill Himself," a Danish-made product in English, set in Glasgow (same guy who did the delightful "Italian for Beginners" a couple years back) -- very fine, thoughtful and amusing movie, set for limited general release in late March, I think. Thumbs up on that one. "Ford Transit" is a Palestinian quasi-documentary about a guy who drives a taxi in the Jerusalem area; fairly undramatic slice-of-life stuff that's worthwhile if you're not looking for a lot of drama or insight. Finally, I saw "Stalingrad," a solid German documentary (obviously a three-part TV miniseries) that uses a lot of excellent archival footage as well as testimony of survivors to tell a riveting, brutal war story.
Jon Bell:
Considering the astounding ignorance of so many people about their own religions, never mind everyone else's, just noting that Gibson is not a born-again qualifies as a stunning insight!
Random Religious Thoughts
A couple of odds 'n ends:
M: You said, "One wonders if Gibson, a born again Christian, may have allowed his judgment to be blurred by his beliefs, attempting to use the bully pulpit of mass culture to turn allegory into reality."
Um, I don't think so. Mel Gibson is an extremely staunch Catholic whose particular branch of Catholicism rejects the reforms of Vatican II. It may be considered "fundamentalist" or "extremist," but not "born-again," which is the province of Protestants (of which Southern Baptists are the largest part in the U.S.) Catholics aren't "born again," and Protestants regard the conspicuous display of a cross WITH Jesus on it as something dark, creepy and vaguely idolatrous. (A cross by itself is simply seen as a symbol.)
How do I know all this? Because I was born and raised in Southern Missouri (what I call "the buckle on the Bible Belt,"), and I dutifully trudged off to church on Sundays with my parents (devout Christians but not extreme fundamentalists; for example, Pentacostals -- called "holy rollers" -- were looked upon as somewhat scary by most Baptists. Which is another aside: people can be extremely "religious" in that community, but if you have an overwhelming "spiritual" experience, and actually fall down in ecstatic transcendent awe, it's regarded at best as a loss of decorum; at worst, as frighteningly close to something resembling possession.) Anyway, I had doubts about my faith ever since I was a little kid -- there were too many contradictions and just-plain "hey, this makes no sense to me!" kind of moments, to me. So, I just had to learn how to keep my mouth shut, and, when listening to a sermon, go off for inner journeys thinking about comics, SF books, the Enterprise, the Seaview, the Batmobile, special effects -- basically, stuff that was more interesting to me. Finally, when I was 18 (1979), I simply told my parents that I wasn't going to attend church any more, and after a brief period of harassment, they accepted it and left me alone. From there, I went through periods of militant atheism until arriving at my current low level of vaguely pagan/Buddhist, non-specific spirituality -- with "faith" as a concept itself no longer tied in to odious conventional religions, and belief in the transcendent -- even if it's simply a part of myself (the unconscious mind) -- as a sometimes-useful focusing/coping tool.
Anyway, jump forward to this past Saturday morning: my wife Joan and I were driving through Sedona after a snowstorm, just to see the red rocks sprinkled in white, and I decided to detour to show my wife the newly-completed (and architecturally interesting) Jewish synagogue off the main highway. (My wife is Jewish, non-practicing, but respectful of her heritage.) She'd seen the back of the temple, but the "front" of it actually faces away from the road, towards the mountains. So, we get out, walk around it, walk up to the front door, and were pulled in by a charming bearded man (a Jewish cowboy, if you can imagine such a thing; he was wearing a bolo tie and had a yarmulke on under his cowboy hat!) nicknamed "Grandpa," who, politely but firmly, suggested that we attend the brief service they were about to have (the Jewish community in Sedona is pretty small.)
So, we attended the service -- the first time my wife had been to temple in probably 30 years -- and I, a corn-fed Midwestern boy from Missouri, former Southern Baptist, wore a kippa for the first time, which amused my wife no end (I wasn't quite sure of the etiquette, but I did it out of respect.) As Joan put it, the sight of this would've made her mom kvell, and my mom plotz.
Why did we do it? Well, as Harlan is fond of saying, because it seemed like a good idea at the time (or at least, a not-objectionable, interesting idea.) If you consider all your life experiences as anthropological examinations of the human condition, then the oddest, most non-traditional activities to which you're ordinarily accustomed become tolerable, enlightening or even fun.
As for me, I still have no great love for the 3 desert monotheistic religions, but I do have to say: if I'm going to get dragged into any kind of religious ceremony, I'd rather attend a Jewish function (especially a Jewish wedding, which is short, fun, and filled with life) than most others, which strike me as dour and cheerless affairs.
Not a lot of insight here, but I thought I'd share.
-- Jon
P.S. I have no interest in seeing "Passion of the Christ" -- but I'm dying to see "Spider-Man 2!" :-)
Am I the only motherfucker out here who thinks that they gave the Oscar for Best Song to the wrong folks? No disrespect to Annie Lennox, but TRIPLETS OF BELLEVILLE had the clear winner.
Oh, and Jack Black and Will Ferrell should be hosting next years Oscars telecast.
Schools
How typical of the gummint. When a school clearly has problems, their response is, to paraphrase that great philosopher Gallagher, to take away more of what they already know those schools ain't got enough of. Another example of getting political mileage out of fixing the blame rather than fixing the problem.
The past several years I've picked up a little extra money working part-time for a company that grades those standardized tests. Although we never knew who the students were or where their schools were more specifically than in which state, it was obvious when the kids had truly been taught the subjects we were grading as part of their curriculum, and when the teacher was teaching to the test. Or hadn't even tried. In order to have a grasp of the material, some underlying concepts had to have been previously covered. If the concepts were evident in the essays, it appeared that those kids had been given a good foundation. Where the answers were obvious regurgitations of rote memorization of the answers, teaching to the test seemed to be a probability. Kind of hard to explain in the limited space here, but you get a feel for that sort of thing after a while.
What always frustrated me was to get a paper from an apparently bright student who wrestled with the question and came up with an ingenious answer that was, nonetheless, the wrong one, because he or she had no foundation to understand the question.
I'm not an educator, nor do I play one on TV, but as a contributor to an online magazine I used to edit once said, "Standardized tests will only make sense when we have standardized kids".
Cindy: You didn't need ME to tell you to be sweet; it comes naturally to you. Just be yourself and you'll be fine. Let us know if you are able to get Paris off the hook.
Scott Challman: Your depiction of test preparation and the derailment of meaningful teaching to up the scores is accurate in NY also. An unbelievable amount of pressure is on the teaching staff to raise scores. Kids learn to write very specific types of essays, whose larger value is questionable to me. Most teachers I know loathe these tests and vocally oppose them, with little effect. As always, these decisions come from far above us.
A major problem I've noticed is that minority students tend to underperform on these tests. Rather than realize that the tests might be racist, it's thrown back on the teachers to modify their teaching methods, offer free after school instruction, etc., to raise their scores. Makes everyone feel bad about themselves for a questionable goal.
DTS: As for zero tolerance, I think enforcement levels vary. The school where I work is not prison-like or fascistic. Most kids seem pretty happy; their major complaints are that they can't wear hats in school. Anyone can go to the restroom when he needs to, and very few security measures could be categorized as draconian. I wouldn't be so fast to paint the entire American public school system with the "Nazi" brush. I'm not saying your kids' school isn't bad, I'm just saying that zero tolerance is not the biggest problem facing my school.
PAB
Getting the Waste Products Oughtta Here
Harlan: "Turtles do not unclench till the thunder rolls."
BEAUTIFUL! Utterly, unequivocally, judiciously, expediently, befittingly, and melllllll-IF-luously BEAUTIFUL!
Harlan (AND Rick) saved me the trouble of having to pounce on this clueless Butch Dosher Fred-type goon. (I dismissed his stupid ramblings completely until he groundlessly javelined Sagan)
It is sad - REALLY sad - that for every great, benevolent human being like Sagan there are two or three "Freds", this inbred Morlock-like subspecies roaming the earth in a useless existence...making such tasks as Carl’s to inform, enlighten, and inspire arduous as hell.
...then you wonder why they call me cynical.
Well...either we’ll ultimately make it as a species because of rationality and spirit like Sagan’s or we’ll go down because of too many dumb-shit Freds running the show. It’s a drama that will have to play itself out.
Harlan,
Your words are golden. I would have never thought of having Paris present for the line in the sand I'm going to draw for Mr.Smith. Everything you said hit home and that's exactly what I'm going to do.
The advice was BRILLIANT but but I really can't rank it above another stellar bit of advice you gave me, I've quoted you to others contemplating the same surgery. You said, " A tit job? What for? What kind of man do you want to attract?"
I can't remember if you actually said "tit job" but it was something along those lines. It was splendid advice and I listened. You were right. In 1998 I met a woman who had received one of those saline jobs that I was eyeing at the time. She had cancer and she ran a chronic fatigue hotline. She told me that she had a notebook filled with the names of women who had at one time had implants. She said they were dying or dead or so sick that they could barely function. Every time someone MENTIONS implants-- I thank God for your words.
THAT one maybe saved my life.
I owe ya another one, buddy o' mine,
:)
Cindy
Alex Jay Berman,
THANK YOU.
:)
Neal,
How sweet you are! Utterly sweet!
THANK YOU!
:)
Cindy
Doc,
I loved what you said about teaching students HOW to think and not WHAT to think.
As for homeschooling, I admire those who have the nexus strength to tackle a mountain like that. For me no WAY no HOW no CHANCE IN HELL! I'd rather spend a week at a Dick Gephard/ Tom Daschle speech marathon. I'd sooner play nude TWISTER with Jerry Falwell or... well you get the picture. Besides, my children are far too social to keep at home. I refused to send them to Kindergarten until they were six years old. By THAT time they were all too happy to go to school--(aka get rid of me) no tears or clinging with any of mine.
I followed the bus to school after Paris left for her first day of Kindergarten last year. She ran after her brothers and jumped onboard without a backward glance. I wanted to make certain she was okay (which is Cindy speak for " I couldn't bear the separation" so I followed her to school. She was in her classroom. I could see her through the window, playing with a little boy who was looking at her like she was the loveliest, most fascinating creature he'd ever beheld. I slunk away with a grapefruit in my throat. She was the last of my Mohicans and she was out of the nest and into the system. .
This after 20 years of having a little one at home with me. Now I'm spoiled. Homeschool would interfere with my selfish enjoyment of this newfound solitude.
Of course if faced with what Chuck dealt with I would move Heaven and Hell to homeschool my child for the year rather than send him or her to a monster on a daily basis.
:)
Cindy
Thanks Michael.
:)
Chuck,
I'll tell her.
:)
Was your teacher's name Barbara Bush? Your description was almost uncanny in the physical similarities of your fourth grade teacher and Mrs.Bush Sr.
I LOVE your line, " the parents came in on him like the torch-bearing villagers in the Frankenstein movies."
Having carried a torch or two I can identify. There was a principal here 15 years ago who told my children that I obviously didn't care if they made it to school on time or not.
I got to the school the next morning just before the bell rang when the halls were crawling with students and teachers. I found my target near the front doors. I crooked my finger. Mr.Wilson came closer. I said, " I understand you told my children that you didn't think I cared if they made it to school on time or not." He said, " Well they've been late every day for the past 4 days. I said "Come'ere" and I stepped back about four steps and pointed out the window. I said, " Do you see that beat up, old clampettmobile out there? That's my car. It doesn't care much for cold and when it's freezing outside it won't crank. I have to wait for the garage next door to open so William Beaty can jump start it because I don't drive a slick new Jaguar like you do."
He said "Oh".
Then I said, " Fuuurthermore-- I can't BELIEVE that you-- a PRINCIPAL would disparage a parent to her children. Isn't that the FIRST thing they teach you in school when you're studying to be a teacher? He was just staring, so I said," Where did you go to school?" He said " Arkansas".
I laughed.
Then I explained to him that a single mother with four kids who has just moved to the town is in a precarious spot already and that a man in his position could have a profound effect either negative or positive in the lives of those children. I asked him if I could count on him to call ME to speak to ME if he had any more such observations. He said , " Yes, Ma'am, and I never had any trouble with him again.
Now, Mr.Smith could be a tougher nut to crack. He's all about power. He's going to think I'll roll on this, but I won't. Paris WILL NOT go to detention for this.
Cindy
Paula!
Your words were greatly needed. I'm glad you pointed that out because I might have gone in with my hackles up if you hadn't.
First I'll try tact.
Thanks for being such a good friend,
Cindy
All of y'all, thanks!
Movie quotes, theOscars
Appreciate the affirmation, Doc. Can't place your riposte, but here's one that's stuck with me for twenty years or so...
"Was will er von mich? Ich bin nur ein Schauspieler."
The songs were all good, but I thought the least of them won. It was worth sitting through all the acceptance speeches to hear Alison Kraus twice. She's one of the few folks around these days I would cheerfully pay exhorbitant prices to see perform live. She opened for a Garth Brooks concert I was dragged to a few years back, and was, for me, the highlight of the evening.
No major surprises, no major disappointments.
Well, I just watched The Coronation of the King--or, as we ever-so-quaintly used to call it, "the Oscars telecast," I'm more than a little surprised. There didn't seem to be any huge miscarriages of reason this year--and perhaps MOST surprising, I actually found that I liked all five of the nominated songs. That NEVER happens!
I have to wonder, though ... is it possible for a small picture, a human melodrama, to win Best Picture (Beautiful Mind notwithstanding)? Is it NECESSARY these days for the winner to be all show and spectacle?
Of course, I shouldn't talk--I rarely ever see any movies these days, and over and above that, I have a special gleam in my eye and a special warmth in my heart for BAD movies. Oh; not EVIL movies (which seem to be a large percentage of the few movies I've seen in the last few years, dragged to them as I was by dates (A.I., HANNIBAL, AMERICAN BEAUTY), but good fun BAD movies. You know, stuff you watch and love even though they're really not what you'd call especially good, and are sometimes what you might call "horrible". Movies such as John Cusack and Tom Hanks used to appear in, before they became serious actors. Some of the less-misogynistic Blake Edwards comedies. CASINO ROYALE. CADDYSHACK. PCU. THE BLUES BROTHERS. ANIMAL HOUSE. REAL GENIUS. BUCKAROO BANZAI. That sort of thing. Or, on the other hand, the ruly BAD yet truly enjoyable films you may catch one late night on cable tv and never see again, such as the EVIL DEAD movies, GLITCH!, NINJA ACADEMY, SILENCE OF THE HAMS, THE NAKED TRUTH, any softcore pornies with performances by Tony Curtis, Oliver Reed, or with any of a host of fine actors who obviously took the embarassing gig to pay bar bills ...
Today, I went to the theater to catch one of the former sort of movies, rather than the latter--very fun, very engrossing, and at the same time, quite not-great. The effects were crap, but the film was great: BUBBA HO-TEP. I mean, how can you go wrong with an aging Elvis portrayed by Bruce Campbell, JFK portrayed by Ossie Davis (LBJ had him put through plastic surgery after that thing in Dallas, you see), both in a flick based on a Joe R. Lansdale short story?
The only thing--aside from the aforementioned effects--which sucked about the flick was that the theater, a nice little gem funded by and named for Hal Prince which runs good shows, cabarets, and repertory theater, was packed full-to-the-brim with lovely lissome lasses ... and every one of them hanging on someone's arm. Feh. It gets tiresome, being a beggar outside the banquet hall.
But such is life.
I'm gone for a couple days, so I'll do this now.
Mite & Todd:
Well, it seemed to me that the hassles the webmaster was having with phantom posters might be what was turning folks off to me, so I asked. I could understand suspicion and reticence toward a stranger from those who have been around here for a while, having to sort through dross to be able to talk to friends. I'd likely do it myself.
Take this however you feel it's being intended: Thanks.
M
Early reading
Well, here's my story of early reading and schools.
I taught myself to read at age 3, probably because I couldn't get my parents to read to me as often as I thought they should (i.e. 24/7, at least when I was awake). My parents learned of this when I started reading a newspaper to them. They confirmed that neither one of 'em had read that to me, and then tested me on other things to confirm that I was actually reading. Nothing more was thought of it by them at the time, save possibly a sense of relief that I wouldn't be pestering them to read to me.
But a few weeks later, my mother got a call from my nursery school that went something like this:
NS: Hello, this is Tommy's nursery school.
Mom: Is he all right? Is there a problem?
NS: Did you know your son can read already?
Mom: Yes, he's been doing it for a few weeks now. Why?
NS: We pinned progress reports to all the children's shirts so they would take them home, and he read all of them!
[picture of me sounding out "disruptive behavior"] From what I'm told, envelopes suddenly became a big deal in that school.
The early reading did come in handy, in that I got to skip kindergarten. And my first grade teacher was in general very willing to let me read what I wanted, since I was already past the Dick & Jane stuff. The school did keep track of what and how many books first graders read, and I smashed through the old record by halfway through the year. I set a new record of just over 300 books read, and recall being very ticked off that they would let me count Dick & Jane level books but wouldn't let me count comic books, which had much bigger and harder words. I've a clear memory that if I'd been allowed to count comics, I would've broken the 500 mark.
One reason I recall the numbers is that I looked them up on my old report card last year to encourage my younger niece to read. For both her and her older sister, when they started really being able to read, I sent them a $20-25 gift card from Borders every month for a year. With instructions that it was to be spent only on books. Figured I should try to indoctrinate them into being readers as much as I can.
Herc
M,
Your second question for Herc was answered by Jon Stover on Monday, February 23 2004 22:6:7: "As to HERC membership, it's pretty simple -- the explanation is part of this website, at harlanellison.com/resources.htm"
The answer to your third question is "No". You may buy multiple year subscriptions but there is no discount.
And finally, if no answer is forthcoming from the assembled throng, you may assume (ass, u, me, got it) that either the question was missed or no one knows the answer to it... Begging for an answer and acting pissy about "being ignored" is not the best path to either endearment or enlightenment.
informationally yours,
the mite
M,
The info for joining HERC is on this website. Click on this link and you'll find the address. Send missives to the address and Susan Ellison herself will rip open your envelope while attempting to avoid agonizing paper cuts.
http://harlanellison.com/herc.htm#record
-TODD
Dave,
Hey, I may be new here but I know better than to try to recapture the magic of a Harlan Ellison performance...! It consisted of Harlan telling of how he met Bruce and proceeding to attempt a flying dropkick on a friend (HE, that is...). As for the details, I'll leave those to Mr. Ellison...
SCHOOLS:
I agree that the "zero tolerance" rule has gone waaaay too far. Using Columbine as an excuse to enforce it only serves to cheapen the lessons that should have been learned from that tra
