Comics. What are they good for?

[markabaddon]

I would probably break super heroes down slightly differently:

Normal humans who have no powers but rely on their intelligence and their physical gifts to allow them to fight crime (Batman, Green Arrow)

Normal humans who received super powers through an external means (Flash, Fantastic Four)

Normal humans who gained mystical ability through their own perseverance (John Constantine, Dr. Strange)

Non humans whose abilities may be normal on their own world but are exceptional on this world (Superman, Starfire - I admit it, I have a crush on Koriand'r, Martian Manhunter)

And they do not all dress like gay porn stars. Some of the do dress like strippers such as Emma Frost, Psylocke and the aforementioned Starfire. Not that there is anything wrong with that...

[markabaddon]

Rob, if you like Namor, you should pick up the recent Defenders mini series. They had Namor, Hulk and Dr. Strange team up and during the entire series, the team is fighting amongst themselves, with Banner and Namor getting some very good insults on each other.

I need to include one hero type that I forgot to mention before. The High Lord Moderator correctly stated that synthetic super heroes such as the Red Tornado, Machine Man and the Vision should be listed.

[robochrist]

Barber,

Stop being in denial! It's your PRIORITY...and you need HELP!

...an interesting character - you could classify him in the "asshole" slot, if you will, as I had Namor (and loving him for it) - no one in the history of the site has brought up is the High Evolutionary. I saw a reprint of his origin - a multi-part story - and it was really quite cool, with convulsions blending sf and supernatural elements to tell a story of one of the oddest "internal" transformations ever...

eh? eh?

[Eric_Martin]

>And they do not all dress like gay porn stars. <

I like the GPS look...I think the move towards black leather a la X-Men and Batman is ill-informed...it's like saying "ok, we're SERIOUS now." Underwear on the outside of the pants and an impractical cape rule...the more colorful the better. The Joker's outfits in the first Batman movie were great, and between those and Jacks' hamming it up, Keaton just faded into the shadows with his biker garb.

[Moderator]

Rob -
I'm not in denial. I'm not, I'm not, I'm NOT!

And they do not all dress like gay porn stars.

Okay. Namor wears speedos, the Hulk wears jeans torn up past the thigh, Batman's much-lauded codpiece, and let's not even discuss the black S&M jobber worn by the Legion's Cosmic Boy in the 1980s (the name alone tells you something).

Not that there's anything wrong with that...


(Am not...)


LHM-in-training

[robochrist]

Barber, do you even remember what Speedos look like? Namor never wore Speedos. They are "scaled-down" Sub-4s.

I, btw, wear Speedos. Wanna see?

[Moderator]

I'm proud to say that through roughly age 25 I wore speedos, and looked damn good in 'em (swam competitively and did that "Dancing with the Stars" thing before it was trendy).

Now I have to contend with the restraining order, as well as continual reminders of good taste from my wife, friends and even my dogs.

But, Rob, if you insist on wearing the speedos I'm gonna swim like I do in my very isolated, very private backyard pool. The imagination reels, don't it?

Now that everyone's an appropriate Lantern- or Hulk-ish shade of green, about them comic books...

[robochrist]

As we kick it up into high bragging mode, I'm 36 and I have the body of an 18-year old - lats, delts and washboard stomach all intact. So, as I prance and pirouette in my Speedos, don't shy away from my window by any means; peer in for as long as you like, and bring your friends.

This, btw, is why I disagree with Eric's musings about the Burton Batman suit. Went along with MY philosophy poifectly.

[markabaddon]

Having only wore speedos only when I trained for my first triathlon, I never felt comfortable in them. Felt a little too exposed in that outfit.

Personally, rather than reminiscing about Batman's codpiece or Cosmic Boy's ambiguous outfits (thanks for bringing back that memory, Barber), I would prefer to focus on the outfits of the female superheroes. Scarlet Witch had some delicious looks, and I have always been a sucker for She-Hulk.

Don't know much about the High Evolutionary, just some cursory knowledge, and the bio on Marvel.com does not provide much background. Rob, could you post what you know about this character or shoot me an email, as I am curious now.

To comment on an earlier posting, Peter Parker revealing himself in Civil War Issue 2 is getting a lot of press. This makes absolutely no sense to me and seems completely out of character. Considering how badly House of M tanked, I suppose they needed even bigger shocks for this summer's huge event. Here's hoping Aunt May and Mary Jane are under police protection....

[Eric_Martin]

>To comment on an earlier posting, Peter Parker revealing himself in Civil War Issue 2 <

WHAT??? I thought someone was joking. Parker is gay? That's canon? Or is this some alternate history jive?

Well, at least Mary Jane is now free again. So is Denise Richards! Someone send her Paingod, we need more hotties here.

[robochrist]

Y'know, you guys are missing something. I mean, frankly, I was ATTEMPTING to tap in on your homophobia.

I can see what kind of crowd I'm really touching toes with now.

Well, anyway, markabaddon, I'll get into the HE later on.

[Moderator]

[quote="Eric_Martin"]>To comment on an earlier posting, Peter Parker revealing himself in Civil War Issue 2 <

WHAT??? I thought someone was joking. Parker is gay? That's canon? Or is this some alternate history jive? [quote]


Nah. Even worse, he's a photographer.

[markabaddon]

Denise Richards has never done it for me. Now fixing her up with Rachel Summers would be a pairing that would cause massive amounts of comic book geeks to pass out from dehydration.

Is it me, or does it often seem like comic book creators have a fascination for redheads: Phoenix, Mary Jane, Starfire, Barbara Gordon (Batgirl). Thinking about it now, it is no wonder I eventually married a redhead

[Hathor]

I think the "Gay Porn Star" look is to REALLY strike fear in the hearts of men on a visceral level. Yes, I am dressed like an Ice Capade reject, but HERE I AM KICKING YOUR ASS!!!

Explain THAT in holding.

Also, where does Superman change now that there are no more phone booths? I'll have to go see the movie, I guess.

Ah, Batman forever for me. That deductive reasoning that comes from grasping straws that are barely visible to the naked eye. He never uses the door, so people call Wayne Contracting to fix their buildings, and he probably has a deal with the city...

[David Loftus]

Also, where does Superman change now that there are no more phone booths? I'll have to go see the movie, I guess.

I never understood the phone booth thing. If he can move at lightning speed, I should think he'd be able to change ANYWHERE without anyone noticing, let alone discovering his secret identity. Not that phone booths ever were a good shield against being seen. . . .