The Diva Cup

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The Diva Cup

Postby Carstonio » Thu Aug 10, 2006 3:06 pm

It's a feminine hygiene product, but the name sounds like a tournament for spoiled, self-obsessed female singers. Particularly one diva that once earned Harlan's righteous wrath.

"What a day we've had at the 2006 Diva Cup, ladies and gentlemen! We've just seen Barbra Striesand outshine Mariah Carey in the Hissy Fit category to reach the finals. What a remarkable finale when 'Bawbah' used her Oscar statues to beat the crap out of the stagehand who brought her the wrong brand of bottled water. Before that, Diana Ross beat out Celine Dion in the semifinals when she ripped the hair off the tabloid photographer. When she says 'Call me Miss Ross,' she damn well means it, folks! So that means she'll face Striesand in the finals. The two Titans of the Tantrum vying for the Diva of the Year title! Coming up next will be the Award Ceremony competition. The winner will be the Diva whose acceptance speech is the most maudlin, teary, fake-humble, inappropriately political, self-congratulatory piece of tripe ever heard from a stage! So stay tuned!"

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