Pavilion Digest: May 2009

A plethora of perplexing pavilion posts. The Pavilion Annex thread, the Pavilion Discussion thread, and monthly digests of all messages from the Pavilion.

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Dennis C
Posts: 105
Joined: Sat May 26, 2012 6:23 pm

Wolvie

Postby Dennis C » Fri May 01, 2009 7:25 pm

Name: Dennis C
Source: unca20090603.htm
I think the character of Wolverine is one of the greatest in comicdom. Perhaps my favorite. Top five anyway.

That's why I'm disappointed in the film. It wasn't just bad, it was wretched. Blows big monkey chunks as they say (not sure who they are, but it's an appropriate phrase).

The wife and I found that every single shot, every single scene rang false. Everything seemed fake, like phoney movie-creations. Nothing fooled us into believing it was true. Not a single shot.
Besides which... the plot will not hold up to a third-grader's scrutiny. Won't go into that, what with spoilers and all, but PLEASE. Some logic, some coherence, just an iota...

While I respect the estimable talents of Messrs. Jackman, Schreiber, Huston and Reynolds, I just didn't buy any of it.

The audience applauded, so what do I know? (Of course they also were texting during the film when there were repeated displays on the screen not to talk or text during the film, so what do they know?)

Adam-Troy
Posts: 301
Joined: Sun Jan 23, 2005 10:05 am
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When I see a little turd texting during a film

Postby Adam-Troy » Sat May 02, 2009 5:06 am

Name: Adam-Troy Castro
Source: unca20090603.htm
When I see some little turd texting during a film, his eyes glued to the little screen and using the big screen as background, I know at once that this is the SAME little turd who will complain if the movie requires attention to be paid, and I know that he is the same kind of little turd who has made some moviemakers afraid to impart information visually without characters explaining over and over again what you're looking at, and I think about folks like Hitchcock and Kurosawa who used visual cues so well not to mention folks like Chaplin who actively required it, and I think about how movies like that are over the heads of most audiences today, and I think about how the vitally important communication in the little fucker's hands is likely not something important like "The House is On Fire" or even witty like the better moments on MST3K but "LOL :-D" or somesuch, and I know that I'm seeing yet another manifestation of people cooperating in the process that makes them and by extension our entire society stupider, and a cold fury comes over me, and I wanna walk down my aisle and grab the little pinhead by the back of the neck and ram his forehead against the row of seats before him some thirty or forty times.

Semi-Writer
Posts: 92
Joined: Sat May 26, 2012 6:24 pm

California...

Postby Semi-Writer » Sat May 02, 2009 8:16 am

Name: Semi-Writer
Source: unca20090603.htm
...sucks. Not even 24 hours goes by and the state finds a reason to lay a ticket on the windshield!

Being from out-of-state and never having had a front license plate, I couldn't attach mine when I got it on Thursday because the holes in the plastic were never drilled. So I put the front plate in the front window (the back license plate went on with no problem) until I could locate a drill. Not 24 hours later, on Friday at 12:52 p.m., I ended up with a ticket for $25, "FRONT PLATE NOT DISPLAYED ON BUMPER."

Problem is, complaining might cause them to look up a previous bullshit parking ticket (the metermaid lied and said that the VIN number was covered up when it wasn't--mercifully I have no moving violations), so even though I should think displaying a plate on the dashboard is adequate, I can't fight the ticket and risk drawing attention to any residency issues (thus returning to the $$ issue). The parking department needs to get a life.

There was a preview of "Star Trek" in Burbank at the AMC Theater there on Wednesday. Anyone get to it?

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Harlan Ellison
Harlan Fucking Ellison
Posts: 847
Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2003 10:24 am

I HAD A THOUGHT TODAY ---- Part Three

Postby Harlan Ellison » Sat May 02, 2009 10:01 am

Name: HARLAN ELLISON
Source: unca20090603.htm
Actually, and in truth, I had this thought two weeks ago last Thursday. Notwithstanding the dilatory presentation, due to my attention being otherwhere directed till now, I think it is one of the few more-than-casual thoughts I've ever had. Quotable, I think. And it is that which brings one up short, flashing the possible that it is an idle thought with some gravitas in its core. And THAT thought brings me--as it would others, I'm sure--up short. I do not consider myself a Great Thinker, because I have imbibed the wine of the Great Thinkers since I was a kid, and I know the real from the manque. No, I'm sure I do not even have a chit to enter the Great Thinker Race, but every once in a while I get a peek through a rent in the door, and I say something far wiser than I'm equipped to have said.
And it is then, at that scary moment, that I dare to think I may have had a Great Thought. This is one of them. And here it is, from Thursday the 23rd of April 2009:

People tell me I am witty or clever or smart or intelligent. I like that, and I'll happily batten on it. Many people tell me my biggest problem is that I expect everyone to be as "smart" as I am. In truth, I go to bed every night, and in my way, as a confirmed Atheist, I pray that I wake up tomorrow morning as smart as I am...and I'm the dumbest person on the planet.



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Harlan Ellison
Harlan Fucking Ellison
Posts: 847
Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2003 10:24 am

REPLY TO STEVE PERRY

Postby Harlan Ellison » Sat May 02, 2009 10:17 am

Name: HARLAN ELLISON
Source: unca20090603.htm
Either Damon or Jim Blish. I think, the former. Easy to check: you, not me. It's in one or the others of three Advent:
Publisher books -- Damon's IN SEARCH OF WONDER or one of the two James Blish (writing as "William Atheling") THE ISSUE AT HAND volumes. But the "pole-vaulting" said-bookism is, I'm pretty sure Damon, though it's always Jim's "The Fens" and "The Fens Revisited" essays I send to naifs who know-not of the dreaded said-bookism. Hope this has helped.

Yr. Pal, Harlan

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Harlan Ellison
Harlan Fucking Ellison
Posts: 847
Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2003 10:24 am

RECTIFICATION OF MY "MY-BAD"

Postby Harlan Ellison » Sat May 02, 2009 10:41 am

Name: HARLAN ELLISON
Source: unca20090603.htm
No good deed goes unpunished, and other songs from the same musical.

About five years ago, or so, one of the frequent-posters at that time, who signed himself "JoNo," got it into his head to mount a sort of challenge for Webderlanders, the prizes to be rare little items from MY storehouse. The game was to award these items to Ellison-devotees who had the most individual items. I think Tim and Barney excluded themselves (for obvious reasons),and the game was afoot.

There were five winners, and JoNo sent me $60 to post the items.
One young woman was in Singapore, one winner was in Canada, etcetera.

Well, I was pressed for time, didn't really think it was urgent to take care of the time-consuming jiggery-pokery of assembling items, signing them, writing notes, packing them, and getting them to the post office.

My-bad.

Five years have passed. JoNo has written me.

I am returning his $60, and I am sending the gifts at my own expense. This is not a manifestation of Good Guy Harlan, it is a public confession of chagrin and rude dismissiveness on my part. It was the cavalier, offputing and boorish behavior of a slovenly person. My--as I said--Bad. I am tending, today, to full rectification of my embarrassing oversight in time & act.

Harlan

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Harlan Ellison
Harlan Fucking Ellison
Posts: 847
Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2003 10:24 am

SEMI-WRITER

Postby Harlan Ellison » Sat May 02, 2009 10:43 am

Name: HARLAN ELLISON
Source: unca20090603.htm
Please call me. If I remember correctly, you have my phone number.

Harlan

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Harlan Ellison
Harlan Fucking Ellison
Posts: 847
Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2003 10:24 am

NOTE TO SANDRA -O:

Postby Harlan Ellison » Sat May 02, 2009 10:48 am

Name: HARLAN ELLISON
Source: unca20090603.htm
After the gig at the New Bev last Sunday, we were T*H*I*S close to using the Jar gift you sent. Don't ask what happened. We wound up at El Coyote (also spectacular), but we are blindly d*e*t*e*r*m*i*n*e*d to suck up your money ere long.

(You see the nature of the problem of giving us unsolicited boons and obeisances?!!!!? You make my life a sepulchre of solicitude and guilt. BAD Shagin, BAD Shagin!!!

Filled with misgivings, Harlan

shagin
Posts: 195
Joined: Fri Sep 08, 2006 2:58 pm
Location: Bremerton, WA

Postby shagin » Sat May 02, 2009 11:40 am

Name: shagin
Source: unca20090603.htm
NEWS FLASH:

Young Jackanapes announced today that "Homework is child abusement!"

To which his mother corrected, "No, dear, you're pronouncing it wrong. Homework is parental amusement."

Which really, REALLY pissed him off.

So, y'see, Harlan, you think I make your life miserable? I showed him your post and he asked what you meant. I handed him the dictionary and directed him to look up the words he didn't understand.


(I wonder if El Coyote has gift certificates...)


Bad Shagin
(Satanic Mother, Miscreant Webderlander, /Evil Bitch)

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FrankChurch
Posts: 16283
Joined: Wed May 28, 2003 2:19 pm

Postby FrankChurch » Sat May 02, 2009 12:28 pm

Name: Frank Church
Source: unca20090603.htm
Harlan, the problem is, nobody cares who is smart and who is dumb. Dumb lead the race,while smart might end up at the outhouse with dracula shits and a werewolf tearing at the toilet paper roll.




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Moderator
Site Admin
Posts: 10607
Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 12:17 pm
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Postby Moderator » Sat May 02, 2009 12:56 pm

Name: Steve Barber
Source: unca20090603.htm

Struth. Harlan had the thought, copyright 2009 The Kilimanjaro Corp, during the banter with Sir Josh at the New Beverly. 'Twas witnessed by many, and applauded by all. Sadly, we took a vote and Harlan was, yes, still the smartest guy in the room.
__________________________________

Okay, Facebook and email friends already know this, but I have completed the last round of revisions on my website. Started in January, finished May 2nd. Alacrity is not my strong suit.

A few new galleries, repurposed older ones, and a new monthly photographic essay starting with my little sojourn through the Mojave last weekend.

Photos of Ellison Night at the New Beverly still featured on the FoE gallery.



Semi-Writer
Posts: 92
Joined: Sat May 26, 2012 6:24 pm

Harlan...

Postby Semi-Writer » Sat May 02, 2009 12:59 pm

Name: Semi-Writer
Source: unca20090603.htm
Nope, I am phone number-less--hence I shall never wake yer ass up at 5 a.m. with cheery, "Hey, just wondering how you are!" bullshit. Sorry. I will shortly send an email to the Mighty Webmaster, however.

And just to make it clear... I'M NOT ASKING ANYONE FOR ANYTHING IN REGARDS TO THE TICKET! Please and thank you. What has been done to help so far is already more than I deserve. (I'm just majorly ticked off that the alleged benign universe that Harlan believes in is not quite so benign towards me. I'm not harboring under a full-blown "the world is against me" thing just yet, but... well, I'm workin' on it.)

William Sherman
Posts: 88
Joined: Sat May 26, 2012 7:04 pm

The New Calvinism

Postby William Sherman » Sat May 02, 2009 2:28 pm

Name: William Sherman
Source: unca20090603.htm
Dear Mr. Ellison et al.:

Have more funds to gift to "Semi-writer", courtesy of Mr. Calvin Borel, jockey of our latest Kentucky Derby triumphant, Mine that Bird. For $10 across: $103.20 $54.00 $25.80 (times five). Total: $915.00.

Still the sport of kings.

Mr. E.: have you ever written anything regarding horse racing? Just curious.

Regards,

William Sherman
Boxford, MA



john zeock
Posts: 167
Joined: Sat May 26, 2012 6:30 pm

star trek

Postby john zeock » Sat May 02, 2009 3:19 pm

Name: john zeock
Source: unca20090603.htm
Saw the movie today. It should make a lot of money for Paramount to give Harlan. Having seen the original show in my pre teens I can't pretend I came to it as a tabula rasa and I confess that I found the easter eggs in the script strangely endearing. I have several quibbles with the script but they're small ones and it's an enjoyable movie.

Clipping Service
Posts: 36
Joined: Sat May 26, 2012 6:31 pm

Cop Joke.

Postby Clipping Service » Sat May 02, 2009 4:58 pm

Name: Clipping Service
Source: unca20090603.htm
Wonder what jokes they tell, over their nightly donut? No? Well, anyway....

Authentic item, just sent by Cop friend:

The Joke.

While she was "flying" down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge
only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing
smirk we all know and love, asked, "What's your hurry?"

To which she replied, "I'm late for work."

Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?"

I'm a rectum stretcher," she responded.

The cop stammered, "A what? A rectum stretcher?

And just what does a rectum stretcher do?"

"Well," she said, "I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to
two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from
side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely
stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide."

"And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole ? " he asked.

"You give him a radar gun and park him behind a bridge...."

Traffic Ticket - $295.00

Court Costs - $145.00

Look on the Cop's Face...............PRICELESS


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