Rick Wyatt Source:
Nuh-uh. No way.
Harlan, you know (I hope), that I love you and Susan dearly, have since the first time we spent a good deal of real world time together, in the flesh...and that I worry about you two when things like this happens. As much of a boon as this site and board have been to you at times, there are other times I am embarassed and ashamed that it has been the vehicle to bring the ugliness and inconsideration of the world screaming into your home at close to lightspeed.
This is one of those times, natch.
I want you to be happy. I want to do what I can in that regard. While I have a responsibility to keep this site running, I also consider it my duty, not as your webmaster but as your friend, to offer whatever aid I find possible when you are in need or having troubles.
It's easy for me to confuse those duties. I am as uncomfortable creating debt as you are at being indebted. And it's recently come to the forefront of my mind that perhaps the reason (other than actually having a life these past few years) that I've let the rest of the site languish while focusing on this area is because I dislike wondering if the site is the basis of that friendship and not shared experience. That's not a healthy way to think, and even if it were it's a poor way to handle it, and you have my apologies on that. Having realized it, I am going to take steps in the next few weeks to rectify it.
It's also true that I have owed you and Susan a visit, one that is almost half a year overdue. One that has already been PAID FOR by the wonderful folk here. I plead that my work has been so fucked up (I've had two major realignments/position changes involving myself and two separate sets of people that wound up reporting to me) that the kind of time I'd like to spend has not been possible. But that's an excuse as well. I found time to make it down to Costa Rica for our first family vacation in ten years. I could have chosen LA instead. I will not apologize for choosing family first, but I WILL try to get down there at the first available opportunity.
There are many more things I could say, but like Susan I do not like this medium for conveying them. I do it here because I DO owe those who come here some explanation of where I've been and where I'm at.
Just as this is not the place for anyone else to remonstrate about your relationship and current condition of offense or non-offense, beef or non-beef, with Connie Willis, neither is this the place to resolve that state of affairs. I have no desire to see that played out on any larger stage than necessary. I am sorry enough that this place has been part of that folderol getting blown out of proportion and brought under the imbecile light of Internet Public Scrutiny. I suspect that it is that very light which has made it difficult for Connie to respond to you. If I were her I would be damned if I would make some response that would be picked over by jackals and either lauded or harumphed in their usual unempathetic or over-empathetic fashion -- thereby adding to what has already become an unfortunate and embarassing event. I am not going to willingly be part of that.
I also suspect this has been a bad and trying week for you. That you are suffering, as you so often do, from being publicly analyzed and re-analyzed and over-analyzed and still nearly completely misunderstood. I also know how seriously you take assaults made on your friends as a result of their standing in the line of fire, and how it pains you when that occurs. It troubles me that it may be the result of all this that uncharitable feelings and suspicions towards a friend, be they grounded or not, have been displayed here.
I would never tell you what you can or cannot say here, what emotions or misgivings you can and cannot reveal. That is your right. This is your home. But it is MY home as well, and I pay the rent and clean the gutters. I am as responsible for what goes on here as you are. I take that responsibility as seriously as you take yours towards your friends.
I wish I had the time today to make this prettier and more considered, to clean up the run-on sentences and comma splices that litter my prose, to do this perfectly. I wish I could resolve this without resorting to the webderland equivalent of the nuclear football. But this has already taken a hour I did not have last night, and a half hour I did not have today, and I have to do SOMETHING.
I'm leaving the latest posts up, rich's response included. And if Ms. Willis wishes to make a public statement about the PUBLIC part of, hell, I dunno what you'd call it, HugoGate?, my e-mail is firstname.lastname@example.org
. It's only fair to give her that opportunity, although I hope it is unecessary.
Other than that, nada. I am pushing the big red button. We are going to have a time out over the weekend. Consider me the parent who came in and pulled the plug on the stereo when the party got ouf control and people started pulling each other's hair.
I want everyone, EVERYONE, involved to take a few days to chill the fuck out. Take a walk - outside, not on a treadmill. Sit on a porch and watch a storm blow in. Call an old friend and make sure they know how much you love them. Do whatever kind or ugly things you have time for.
Just don't do them here.
See you on Monday.