Just an update

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Gwyneth M905
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Re: Just an update

Postby Gwyneth M905 » Mon Feb 01, 2010 12:55 am

Lori Koonce wrote:I've got this friend who does a total nose dive about once every two years. And for reasons I cannot fathom, I tend to go with him. Usually it's a healthy concern for a friend. But this time it's tearing me up in ways I wasn't quite ready for.


:( Wow, I'm so sorry about this. Is this your BFF? Warm fuzzies and concern along with psychic-healing kosher chicken soup! Hope he pulls out of his nosedive. There's always the free Haight clinic, North Beach clinic and also Lyon Martin Health Services... :(
I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi Knight, the same as my Father.
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FrankChurch
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Re: Just an update

Postby FrankChurch » Mon Feb 01, 2010 12:04 pm

Big hugs for Lori. Christian prayers from your toothy teddy bear.

I see a rainbow and a rap you and your friend in it.

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markabaddon
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Re: Just an update

Postby markabaddon » Tue Feb 02, 2010 3:11 pm

Just wanted to see how you are doing and I was also wondering if the person who was pulling you down was your BFF whom you have mentioned to me before. If you are aorund on FB tonight, we can talk there

Hope you are doing better,

Mark
Governments, if they endure, always tend increasingly toward aristrocratic forms. No gov't in history has been known to evade this pattern. And as the aristocracy develops, gov't tends more and mroe to act exclusively in the interests of the ruling class

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Lori Koonce
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Re: Just an update

Postby Lori Koonce » Wed Feb 03, 2010 11:23 am

Mark

Yes it's the same BFF, and I'm wasting time typing this before today's therapy appointment, so I'm hoping to get a little bit better.

Between Vance's nosedives and my own mental health issues it's a wonder that man and I have been friends for almost 10 years!

I've got a couple of questions about Madcon for you, but I'll drop 'em in a FB note for you.

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markabaddon
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Re: Just an update

Postby markabaddon » Thu Feb 04, 2010 3:13 pm

Better to send me an email to my home or work account, I check FB about once a week, and cannot access it here at work. Or give me a call, you have my cell number
Governments, if they endure, always tend increasingly toward aristrocratic forms. No gov't in history has been known to evade this pattern. And as the aristocracy develops, gov't tends more and mroe to act exclusively in the interests of the ruling class

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Lori Koonce
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Yet another update

Postby Lori Koonce » Wed Apr 14, 2010 12:47 pm

Ok, it's been awhile.....

I just celebrated my 43rd birthday. And again I do what I do every year since my little brother got married. I compare my life to his, and come up sorely short.

Can someone please explain to me why we compare ourselves to others in the first place. I mean, if Marc (my little bro) has mental health issues they haven't tripped him up yet. And while I'm very thankful that he found a wonderful woman, and has a great family, I still go around and wonder if or when it's gonna be my turn.

I even go so far as to tell myself that each and ever thing, both the good and the bad, has made me what I am today. And I've got people out there who like me despite never meeting me. I'm working on my mental health, and know that when the time and person are right, I meay even end up having a good, loving relationship with someone who isn't a relation.

But, I still look at Marc, and can't help but think "I'm older than he is, I should have had all this first!" I don't begrudge him any of what he's got. He worked hard for it, and deserves it. He did all the "right" things at the right times and is now reaping the rewards.

Anyways, sorry for the screed. But I just got done with therapy, and we were talking about just this issue. It has never made much sense to me, and this is one of the few places I can speak my mind without a lot of judgments. And sometimes ya'll just give me the most peachy advice.

Thanks for listening again!

Lori

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Re: Just an update

Postby Moderator » Wed Apr 14, 2010 2:19 pm

Lori -
It may have no meaning for you, but my own experience is that things can change for the better at almost any time -- as long as you're ready to take the steps to make it so.

I have two examples in my life of two people who have encountered problems in their lives and had completely different approaches and results.

My cousin, the currently non-recovering alcoholic, has had a life-long battle with the bottle. In the lst five years he picked himself up, got a terrific job doing something he loves. Unfortunately -- and we still don't know the actual catalyst -- he collapsed into flames and has virtually destroyed his life. He wants someone else to solve his problems, and won't take personal responsibility for making the changes himself. Recently a good friend of mine managed to get him into a world-class rehab center. Two days later, my cousin walked out because it was too hard and the staff "wasn't doing anything" for him. As of this moment, he's living on the streets, probably convinced his family has abandoned him.

My other example is my older sister. She did a wonderful job of destroying her life by the time she was twenty-five. Her son was ten (do the math); she was being regularly beaten emotionall and physically by her her husband, who also was under investigation by the FBI for trafficking drugs; and she hated her job. Five years her by-then ex-husband was in jail, she lost her job; and she became suicidal. She called my wife and I at 2am PST one morning to say goodbye. We kept her on the phone until she fell asleep. Over the next two months she picked herself up, moved from Rhode Island to Maryland, and started a new life.

Today she is happily married, owns a successful business, and is in a completely different place in her life.

Both of them took steps to put themselves where they are. I'm not saying you need to move (at all), but I've met you and think you're a great person.

You've got challenges -- as we all do -- but don't compare yourself to others. They have walked different steps than you have, so there's really no basis for comparison. (I hang out with musicians all the time, yet I have no musical ability at all. Would it be fair for me to lament that "I'm not as good a sax player as Greg is"?

Of course not.

Your brother is not you, and given the same circumstances he might not be as successful as you are.

Different paths, different circumstances, different results.

You're pretty damned good at being you.
- I love to find adventure. All I need is a change of clothes, my Nikon, an open mind and a strong cup of coffee.

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David Loftus
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Re: Just an update

Postby David Loftus » Wed Apr 14, 2010 5:18 pm

Things may or may not pick up anytime soon, Lori, but you can always take joy and pride in the little, lovely things that life puts in front of you every day.

Or not. The choice is yours.

I wanted to tell you not to be hard on yourself about making comparions. Though, as Dogberry malaprops in Much Ado About Nothing, "Comparisons are odorous," we can't help doing it. It's a human thing. So don't beat yourself up about it; just regard it as a momentary lapse, like grabbing an extra cinnamon bun, that doesn't mean a whole helluva lot in itself, and will pass.

To many of the rest of you here, I probably look pretty much on top of things, but I compare myself to other people all the time and find myself wanting. It's true, I do -- and not to famous overachievers but just other folks in my neighborhood, and in my various professions and avocations.

Being a graduate of Harvard with high honors, one might easily think I've wasted my talents. And I most likely have, but I don't see it in that simplistic way. Many of my rundown public high school classmates are more established, and make larger incomes, than I ever have and probably ever will. But I never wanted what I do not have, in terms of a classic high-income, status-in-a-distinguished-field, three-car-garage-in-the-suburbs, four-kids-in-separate-bedrooms lifestyle that we think of when we think of an Ivy Leaguer. (There probably are a few of those out there.)

Rather, I wonder where I might have been as an actor if I'd tried it, taken the plunge, when I was in my teens or twenties; why I haven't pressed my writing talents much harder; and why so many other people I know with lesser gifts have advanced so much further, gotten more breaks, than I.

Meanwhile, many people -- perhaps even some of the same people I regard with an envious eye -- are probably busy envying me. That's how people are. We can see the good things other folks have; we don't usually know half of the burdens they have staggered under.
War is, at first, the hope that one will be better off; next, the expectation that the other fellow will be worse off; then, the satisfaction that he isn't any better off; and, finally, the surprise at everyone's being worse off. - Karl Kraus

Gwyneth M905
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Shoutout re: the fire here today

Postby Gwyneth M905 » Thu Jun 17, 2010 10:15 pm

Lori,
Are you ok? The Tenderloin was smoking like crazy this afternoon down by where you live. I saw at least 4 fire engines on my way home from the Halal butcher shop.
Just ping if you're ok?
Gwyneth
I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi Knight, the same as my Father.
STAR WARS (1977)

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David Loftus
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Re: Just an update

Postby David Loftus » Fri Jun 18, 2010 9:48 am

Is Lori torching capitalist pig storefronts again?
War is, at first, the hope that one will be better off; next, the expectation that the other fellow will be worse off; then, the satisfaction that he isn't any better off; and, finally, the surprise at everyone's being worse off. - Karl Kraus

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Lori Koonce
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Re: Just an update

Postby Lori Koonce » Fri Jun 18, 2010 11:39 am

Hey Gang

That fire was about four blocks away from me. The worst things I suffered was an extremely LOUD evening, and seriously screwed up TV reception.

Although I have to admit that if this place ever catches fire, I'm very SOL for a living space. Tinderbox is what I think they call it.

Gwyneth M905
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Re: Just an update

Postby Gwyneth M905 » Fri Jun 18, 2010 1:03 pm

Hi, Lori,

Alhamdulillah, you are ok. Four blocks away is four block too close for me. Would you send me your e-mail again? I've lost it and I have photos from the SG party that I found squirreled away in my computer to send to you. One of them is this great psychedelic shot of you flogging the seven foot transvestite dressed as a big blue bunny. Pretty trippy. Besides, it's un-Islamic for me to keep them on my hard drive. :P

Thanks for writing to let me/us know you're ok.

love,
Gwyneth
I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi Knight, the same as my Father.
STAR WARS (1977)

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Lori Koonce
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Re: Just an update

Postby Lori Koonce » Sat Jun 19, 2010 11:48 am

David Loftus wrote:Is Lori torching capitalist pig storefronts again?



NO David

There is a girl down here who does that, and she does look a little bit like me, but it's not me.

I'm in charge of making sure the Pyros have enough matches and excelerant! And maybe a LITTLE cocktail or two, but not storfronts by myself.

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David Loftus
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Re: Just an update

Postby David Loftus » Sat Jun 19, 2010 11:46 pm

"Excelerant" is an interesting neologism. Now we just have to find a meaning to which to apply it.

The word you were thinking of was "accelerant," so called because it accelerates the ignition and burning process.

Speaking of cocktails, I'm sipping what Bertie Wooster calls a b&s at this very moment (in this case, Maker's Mark cut with Vernor's ginger ale).
War is, at first, the hope that one will be better off; next, the expectation that the other fellow will be worse off; then, the satisfaction that he isn't any better off; and, finally, the surprise at everyone's being worse off. - Karl Kraus

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Re: Just an update

Postby Moderator » Mon Jun 21, 2010 10:26 am

David Loftus wrote:"Excelerant" is an interesting neologism. Now we just have to find a meaning to which to apply it.


Ooh, I like this word. It suggests an event or influence that expedites rapid and dramatic improvement.

"A good teacher is an excelerant to your life."

"The writing class provided an excelerant for Sandra's writing skills."

"Knowing that Harlan is listening to every word made for a useful excelerant in Steve's questionable language skills."
- I love to find adventure. All I need is a change of clothes, my Nikon, an open mind and a strong cup of coffee.


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