Mark Goldberg v2

Introduce yourself here. One post per person. Use replies to those to discuss someone.

Moderator: Moderator

User avatar
Moderator
Site Admin
Posts: 10607
Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 12:17 pm
Contact:

Re: Mark Goldberg v2

Postby Moderator » Fri Jan 08, 2010 3:37 pm

FinderDoug wrote:Morphittles. Hear the rainbow.



Morphittles: A different taste in every bite.
- I love to find adventure. All I need is a change of clothes, my Nikon, an open mind and a strong cup of coffee.

User avatar
FrankChurch
Posts: 16283
Joined: Wed May 28, 2003 2:19 pm

Re: Mark Goldberg v2

Postby FrankChurch » Sat Jan 09, 2010 1:57 pm

Markie, get me my fix.

User avatar
markabaddon
Posts: 1790
Joined: Tue Mar 14, 2006 3:24 pm

Re: Mark Goldberg v2

Postby markabaddon » Tue Jan 19, 2010 9:52 am

On Wednesday, one month will have passed since my Mom died and I will be able to stop wearing the black ribbon I have worn since her funeral. In some ways it will be a relief, as I will not have to explain to various people why I am wearing it (side note: the best story about that happened last week. I was in an all day training session and one person asked me what the ribbon was for. I told her it was for mourning. Her response, "but it is the afternoon". Surprisingly, I did not verbally eviscerate her. Must be going soft in my old age...)

In other ways, I will miss having it on, as it is a reminder to me of her. I am saying kaddish 3 times a day, and will do so for the full 11 months, but I am thinking now I will keep the ribbon as a more tangible reminder of this period of my life. Not sure if that is masochistic of me or not
Governments, if they endure, always tend increasingly toward aristrocratic forms. No gov't in history has been known to evade this pattern. And as the aristocracy develops, gov't tends more and mroe to act exclusively in the interests of the ruling class

User avatar
Lori Koonce
Posts: 3538
Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2007 12:10 pm
Location: San Francisco California
Contact:

Re: Mark Goldberg v2

Postby Lori Koonce » Tue Jan 19, 2010 11:22 am

Just a suggestion Mark, take it for what it's worth.

Why not display the ribbon where you can see it once a day. That way you can honor her without having to explain it to everyone.

User avatar
Moderator
Site Admin
Posts: 10607
Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 12:17 pm
Contact:

Re: Mark Goldberg v2

Postby Moderator » Tue Jan 19, 2010 4:19 pm

Mark - The ribbon is not what reminds you of her. You will continue to think of her constantly with or without it. Keep it as a momento, but it is what is in your heart and memories which will keep her in your thoughts (Cris, who has lost both parents, testifies that this is the case).

Cris' bass player, a wonderful man named Barry Cogert, lost his mother suddenly a couple of weeks ago. Cris and I attended Shiva Mayim at his temple, along with roughly fifty of his other friends and family. There is a ceremony, and many of the friends -- Cris included -- were asked to read the passages. Wonderful service, and very fitting.

But Barry insists that the most therapeutic thing he has done is to sit in with Cris and her keyboard player at a gig last Friday. He said that doing what he loves kept his mother in his heart, but also allowed him to find pleasure in doing something he knew she would be proud of.

Just a thought.

Oh, and I would have laughed out loud at the poor woman who didn't understand mourning. I trust you were a little more circumspect.
- I love to find adventure. All I need is a change of clothes, my Nikon, an open mind and a strong cup of coffee.

User avatar
David Loftus
Posts: 3182
Joined: Fri Aug 20, 2004 2:15 pm
Location: Portland, Oregon
Contact:

Re: Mark Goldberg v2

Postby David Loftus » Wed Jan 20, 2010 1:03 am

A couple weeks ago, I had my annual get-together with my mother and brothers for a weekend of playing cards and board games, eating food, and talking. One brother brought a CD of Chopin etudes and preludes -- many of the pieces my father used to practice endlessly at home when we were growing up. Brought back a lot of memories, some of which we naturally shared.

When my Dad was killed by a drunk driver, we tried to honor his oft-expressed wish for no memorial service. But we were aching, and too many other people whose paths had crossed his -- as a music teacher, as a piano tuner, as a school teacher, as a voluntary fireman, as a Unitarian, as a musician for other churches -- kept asking us about it, and I realized 1) his life didn't just belong to us; 2) memorial services and any other sort of mourning isn't for the deceased, it's for the rest of us; so 3) in the end, it really didn't matter what HIS wishes might be -- he didn't have a say in it anymore, nor should he have. I waited until his next birthday, six months after his death at the hands of a drunk driver, to organize a birthday memorial celebration. We sang several of his favorite songs together, and shared food and stories. There were several men of my Dad's age who were in tears. It was a very good thing to do.

I'm not a Jew, though I often accompany Carole to synogogue services, so I've naturally learned many of the Hebrew prayers. Sometimes I chant them, sometimes I don't.

I ALWAYS say kaddish.
War is, at first, the hope that one will be better off; next, the expectation that the other fellow will be worse off; then, the satisfaction that he isn't any better off; and, finally, the surprise at everyone's being worse off. - Karl Kraus

User avatar
markabaddon
Posts: 1790
Joined: Tue Mar 14, 2006 3:24 pm

Re: Mark Goldberg v2

Postby markabaddon » Wed Jan 20, 2010 10:36 am

Decided to stop wearing the ribbon today, as technically it is one month after the 4th of Tevet on the Jewish calendar since the funeral, and that is how the period is calculated, rather than by the Julian calendar. Lori, I thank you for your suggestion, and decided to place the ribbon in the same bag where I keep my yarmulke and tallit (prayer shawl). Just seemed to go together, and I will look at it whenever I go to synagogue, which is usually about once a month

Steve, somehow I did not laugh, but did explain the situation to her and she looked ratehr crestfallen at her own stupidity. I will say I was pretty p*ssed, though. I tried to do something similar during the short service I had at the house, with me reading most of the passages in Hebrew, and others (including Keeney, I think I had him read something) reading passages in English, one of which was the 23rd Psalm

David, I thank you for sharing your experiences with me. I have no doubt that your father would have been very proud of the celebration you organized
Governments, if they endure, always tend increasingly toward aristrocratic forms. No gov't in history has been known to evade this pattern. And as the aristocracy develops, gov't tends more and mroe to act exclusively in the interests of the ruling class

Gwyneth M905
Posts: 1260
Joined: Thu Aug 31, 2006 11:40 pm
Location: San Francisco, California

Re: Mark Goldberg v2

Postby Gwyneth M905 » Fri Jan 22, 2010 7:31 pm

markabaddon wrote:Decided to stop wearing the ribbon today, as technically it is one month after the 4th of Tevet on the Jewish calendar since the funeral, and that is how the period is calculated, rather than by the Julian calendar. Lori, I thank you for your suggestion, and decided to place the ribbon in the same bag where I keep my yarmulke and tallit (prayer shawl). Just seemed to go together, and I will look at it whenever I go to synagogue, which is usually about once a month


Mark, that strikes me as a beautiful thing to do. How have things been for you? I hope the majority of your co-workers were much more clued-in than the morning/mourning woman, and life has otherwise been smooth.
Hugs,
G.
I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi Knight, the same as my Father.
STAR WARS (1977)

User avatar
markabaddon
Posts: 1790
Joined: Tue Mar 14, 2006 3:24 pm

Re: Mark Goldberg v2

Postby markabaddon » Mon Jan 25, 2010 2:52 pm

HI Gwynnie, I need to send you a note anyway, but things are going pretty well. I am veyr fortunate to work in a very supportive place and even the one co-worker who made that VERY stupid statement felt bad about it afetrwards

We will talk more soon,

Mark
Governments, if they endure, always tend increasingly toward aristrocratic forms. No gov't in history has been known to evade this pattern. And as the aristocracy develops, gov't tends more and mroe to act exclusively in the interests of the ruling class

User avatar
Moderator
Site Admin
Posts: 10607
Joined: Sun Jan 15, 2006 12:17 pm
Contact:

Re: Mark Goldberg v2

Postby Moderator » Wed Apr 28, 2010 4:56 pm

- I love to find adventure. All I need is a change of clothes, my Nikon, an open mind and a strong cup of coffee.

User avatar
markabaddon
Posts: 1790
Joined: Tue Mar 14, 2006 3:24 pm

Re: Mark Goldberg v2

Postby markabaddon » Thu Apr 29, 2010 9:15 am

Interesting article, Steve, thanks for sending it. One thing to keep in mind, though is that the reduction in HR staff directly affects some of the monitoring activities that are listed in the piece. Yes, HR people can and will go through emails and websites, but tehre simply is not enough staff to watch everyone unless given cause. So basically, stay away form the midget porn and you should generally be fine 8)
Governments, if they endure, always tend increasingly toward aristrocratic forms. No gov't in history has been known to evade this pattern. And as the aristocracy develops, gov't tends more and mroe to act exclusively in the interests of the ruling class


Return to “Webderlanders”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest