Depression

General discussions of interest to readers and fans of Harlan Ellison.

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diane bartels
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Re: Depression

Postby diane bartels » Sun Nov 18, 2012 3:21 pm

Sounds good Red. Best of luck with it all. How'se your little boy?

reddragon70
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Re: Depression

Postby reddragon70 » Wed Nov 21, 2012 7:39 am

My boys doing fine. He still says he wants to live with me. WHich is almost impossible. Plus the advice I am getting suggests it could be harmful to him. So he'll be with his mother.

I am doing ok too. Just waiting for someone to show some interest in buying the house. Got a place I really would like to buy. But that is all dependant on selling this place.

Time will tell, the house will sell, I'll get my 30% share and that is enough for me to start again.

Gwyneth M905
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Re: Depression

Postby Gwyneth M905 » Thu Nov 22, 2012 8:56 pm

KVETCH/VENT WARNING ON!

A friend wrote to me about coming to visit. I was honest and said that I'd been having mental problems and that it just wasn't possible at this time. This person knows I have severe bipolar illness and am on 16 medications. Person wrote back to me that, "mental 'problems' are just challenges".

I AM REALLY FUCKING PISSED OFF!!!!

If I were diabetic, would that be a challenge? The fact that have Hashimoto's and have a hypoactive thyroid, is that a challenge? FUCK YOU!

My brain chemicals are just as real as insulin, as thyroid hormones, as anything else PHYSIOLOGICAL. They aren't fucking "challenges" I take medication for a reason. That's why I see one of the top psychoPHARMACOLOGISTS in the country. A "challenge" is NaNoWriMo. (Hey folks, I'm north of 57,222 words right now!)

I struggle day-to-day with a disability. A FUCKING DISABILITY! Not a challenge, asshole! Thank you.

END KVETCH/RANT
I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi Knight, the same as my Father.
STAR WARS (1977)

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Re: Depression

Postby Moderator » Thu Nov 22, 2012 10:00 pm

Gwyn -

Thank you and we're behind you 100%.

Some people prefer to think of chemical imbalances as "medicatable", without any real understanding of the difficulties of the chemistry involved. Fuck if they won't understand.

Glad you felt fit to share it here....
- I love to find adventure. All I need is a change of clothes, my Nikon, an open mind and a strong cup of coffee.

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Chuck Messer
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Re: Depression

Postby Chuck Messer » Fri Nov 23, 2012 1:27 pm

Luckily, I only have clinical depression. Most of the pills I take are for my cholesterol, etc. But, my sister has severe bipolar disorder and is on disability. I'll defend her to the death, and I'll stand up for anyone else who suffers from this, including you, Gwyn.

Chuck
Some people are wedded to their ideology the way nuns are wed to God.

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Steve Evil
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Re: Depression

Postby Steve Evil » Fri Nov 23, 2012 1:42 pm

Kvetch away, that's what we're here for. That little bit of dime-store psychiatry you mentioned sounds like the product of the Hallmark age, in which every issue of life can be reduced to a motivational blurb of the "when life gives you lemons. . ." variety. Some folks actually believe that crap. . .

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FrankChurch
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Re: Depression

Postby FrankChurch » Fri Nov 23, 2012 2:28 pm

You do have to watch the pills; be careful.

reddragon70
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Re: Depression

Postby reddragon70 » Fri Nov 23, 2012 8:17 pm

Personally I am of the philosofy "When life gives you lemon, make life rue the day it gave you lemon. Make them take the damned lemona back and shove them somewhere obscene"

Lets face it, all those motivational lines are written by people who have never in their life had to deal with the kind of crap someone with depression, Bi-polar or other illness has had to. Its just empty words.

You rant away girl. Rage against it. And know we will listen, cos we are your friends :)

Gwyneth M905
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Re: Depression

Postby Gwyneth M905 » Fri Nov 23, 2012 11:06 pm

Thanks so much, guys. It helps. I'm still really angry. I'm medicating with benzodiazapines, which are approved for these (really and truly) PMS episodes by my psychopharmacologist. Those and zyprexa really help.

It's just so...infuriating that I can't explain to my "friends" that -- hey -- this is not a motivational poster, this is a psychopharmacological disability. It's treatable so I'm doing what I need to do to treat it.

PMS day today. Not good. Very heavy intrusive violent thoughts. Psych-doc notified. meds adjusted. doing much better. much mellower now.

Thank you so much for being here, my friends.

Hugs,
Lynn
I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi Knight, the same as my Father.
STAR WARS (1977)

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Lori Koonce
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Re: Depression

Postby Lori Koonce » Sat Nov 24, 2012 3:18 pm

Gwyn

You know something. I've found that the people who are truly your friends don't need to understand what you are going through, they either go though it with you, or they encourage you to get through it by yourself.

You and your Docs know you are doing what's right for you and your conditions, fuck those who think otherwise.

And it could be worse. For the longest time my mom kept on reminding me that Jesus could heal me if I asked for it in the right manner.

Gwyneth M905
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Re: Depression

Postby Gwyneth M905 » Sat Nov 24, 2012 10:09 pm

Lori Koonce wrote:And it could be worse. For the longest time my mom kept on reminding me that Jesus could heal me if I asked for it in the right manner.


Gospel of Thomas, Book IX: "Quoth the Lord, 'Oy Gevalt!'"

Yup, that is worse. Way, way worse. Not only does it insist that you believe in someone else's concept of God, not only does it insist that you believe in that God having an ability to heal you, it also imprecates you in your own "sin", i.e. you just weren't asking hard enough, or long enough, or with enough chutzpah.

Srsly. Are you still on speaking terms w/ your mom? [no snark intended here at ALL!] If so, how so?
I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi Knight, the same as my Father.
STAR WARS (1977)

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Lori Koonce
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Re: Depression

Postby Lori Koonce » Sun Nov 25, 2012 1:45 pm

Gwyneth M905 wrote:
Lori Koonce wrote:And it could be worse. For the longest time my mom kept on reminding me that Jesus could heal me if I asked for it in the right manner.


Gospel of Thomas, Book IX: "Quoth the Lord, 'Oy Gevalt!'"

Yup, that is worse. Way, way worse. Not only does it insist that you believe in someone else's concept of God, not only does it insist that you believe in that God having an ability to heal you, it also imprecates you in your own "sin", i.e. you just weren't asking hard enough, or long enough, or with enough chutzpah.

Srsly. Are you still on speaking terms w/ your mom? [no snark intended here at ALL!] If so, how so?

n mi
Well, we are on good enough terms that I spent Turkey Day with her and my dad at their home....

I've just learned to live with it. She has had exposure to a person in her church who comitted suicide because of depression, and before that he was running a group for mentally ill people, to help them understand the gospel with their illnesses in mind. So, it's not as bad as it used to be.

Not to mention she finally understands that I believe this is the way God wants me, and that he and I are on good terms...

diane bartels
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Re: Depression

Postby diane bartels » Sun Nov 25, 2012 2:40 pm

That's good Lori. Parental understanding is very important. Gwynnie glad to hear you are doing for you what you need to do. I need to up my meds a bit. I knew I would need to just taking a while to get the doc. It's my OCD getting me right now; my depression has been ok. Other than that, it helps to hear from all of you guys here and on fb. It makes my day when HE checks in on the Pavy.

Gwyneth M905
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Re: Depression

Postby Gwyneth M905 » Sun Nov 25, 2012 4:47 pm

Diane, if you need our shoulders and ears, here they are! It is frustrating to not be able to get in contact with one's doc re: medications. I hope that situation resolves itself sooner rather than later, for your comfort and your safety.

Lori, I'm glad that your mom has reached a point of acceptance and (hopefully) more understanding!
I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi Knight, the same as my Father.
STAR WARS (1977)

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FrankChurch
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Re: Depression

Postby FrankChurch » Mon Nov 26, 2012 1:16 pm

Gwyn, you aren't obligated to buy Harlan's stuff, he's doing pretty good. Stick to paying for your care. We will both pray to different gods about single payer.


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