Could be any time now.

General discussions of interest to readers and fans of Harlan Ellison.

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Chuck Messer
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Could be any time now.

Postby Chuck Messer » Fri Dec 10, 2010 6:31 pm

Dad's on close watch now. He can't or won't swallow food. They're giving him morphine to keep him comfortable. After a year and a half in the nursing home, it looks like he'll be gone soon.

Knocking on heaven's door.

Gotta go. I have another 12-hour shift.

I couldn't leave this on the Pavilion. Things are nice and festive there.

Chuck
Some people are wedded to their ideology the way nuns are wed to God.

RocRizzo
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Re: Could be any time now.

Postby RocRizzo » Fri Dec 10, 2010 7:42 pm

When his time comes, it comes. Not much that can be done about it. As long as he lived a full life, and has loved ones at his side, he will know, on the way out, that there are people who care.

Godspeed, and celebrate his life.
"Understanding is a three-edged sword."

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Re: Could be any time now.

Postby Moderator » Sat Dec 11, 2010 12:24 am

Chuck.

No words can suffice. A good friend of ours just a month ago lost his mother. His sentiment wavered, daily, between "thank God it's over and she's out of pain" and "but it was my Mom".

Cris went through this a decade ago. I have, fortunately, so far been spared the pain.

So, as noted, no words suffice. I sincerely hope you have said what you need to say to your father -- it is that one thing which seems to be most important to the memory. If you have not (and you seem to be the sort of person who would have), do so now. Even should he be difficult to reach.

He would want you to remember him in the best possible way.

Godspeed to you and your father.
- I love to find adventure. All I need is a change of clothes, my Nikon, an open mind and a strong cup of coffee.

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FrankChurch
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Re: Could be any time now.

Postby FrankChurch » Sat Dec 11, 2010 11:49 am

You're there Chuck, that's important. Remember all the good times. Even find a silver lining during the bad.

Anthony Ravenscroft
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Re: Could be any time now.

Postby Anthony Ravenscroft » Sat Dec 11, 2010 10:03 pm

My beloved cat Ouja died last week. Not to compare directly to your situation, sir, but in Ouja's last day at home I watched him fading in the same spot my Dad died in, 2005. I've been fending off flashbacks since.

Every death of a good person diminishes me. Other than that, any words I can offer would ring hollow to me.

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Re: Could be any time now.

Postby Moderator » Sat Dec 11, 2010 11:54 pm

Anthony Ravenscroft wrote:My beloved cat Ouja died last week. Not to compare directly to your situation, sir, but in Ouja's last day at home I watched him fading in the same spot my Dad died in, 2005. I've been fending off flashbacks since.

Every death of a good person diminishes me. Other than that, any words I can offer would ring hollow to me.


Anthony -
There are those who will not understand this. But the loss of a presence in our lives -- no matter how "insignificant" to others -- diminishes us. A cat. A dog. A pet of whatever origin. A loss of a cat is profound an painful. We've lost two cats and a a dog as a family. And each leaves us with a hole in our lives.

Remember the good, cherish it.

Ouja's life lives on in your memory, and that is the best any of us could wish.

Steve B
- I love to find adventure. All I need is a change of clothes, my Nikon, an open mind and a strong cup of coffee.

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Chuck Messer
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Re: Could be any time now.

Postby Chuck Messer » Sun Dec 12, 2010 2:20 am

I had dinner with my stepmom, Ellie, and with my sister and nephew. It was a holiday get-together, but also to talk over an option: Dad has it in his will to be creamated. He requested, outside the will the ashes scattered in the Grand Tetons. However, not only is that some distance, but I think the park service is a bit hard-nosed about littering.

One of the hospice people suggested that since Dad was in the army in the mid-50's (that's how I was born in El Paso, TX) his ashes could be buried at the Fort Logan cemetary. Possibly in May. That's where my stepfather Hugh Penrod is buried.

I'm thinking of going in to see him on Monday. He might not even know I'm there, but I'd like to see him anyway.

Sometimes, it seems the best we can hope for is a quick merciful death. What Dad's gone through was not quick or merciful. I can only hope he'll be comfortable and the end will come quietly.

Chuck
Some people are wedded to their ideology the way nuns are wed to God.

diane bartels
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Re: Could be any time now.

Postby diane bartels » Sun Dec 12, 2010 9:20 am

Hey Chuck. Been thinking about you and praying for you and your family. Will continue to pray that your dad's passing is as painless as possible and your heart is comforted.
Your friend Diane

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FinderDoug
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Re: Could be any time now.

Postby FinderDoug » Mon Dec 13, 2010 8:29 am

Chuck - Keeping you and your family in our thoughts.

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markabaddon
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Re: Could be any time now.

Postby markabaddon » Tue Dec 14, 2010 3:00 pm

Chuck, just last year I was in the same position you are. If you need to talk, you have my email.

Sending you good thoughts and prayers,

Mark
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Re: Could be any time now.

Postby Moderator » Tue Dec 14, 2010 9:49 pm

Chuck -- No words can convey my sadness at reading your news on the Pav. I sincerely hope you have your family and friends gathered closely about you for support.
- I love to find adventure. All I need is a change of clothes, my Nikon, an open mind and a strong cup of coffee.

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Ezra Lb.
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Re: Could be any time now.

Postby Ezra Lb. » Wed Dec 15, 2010 10:51 am

Chuck, I'm very sorry for your loss.
“We must not always talk in the marketplace,” Hester Prynne said, “of what happens to us in the forest.”
-Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter

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FrankChurch
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Re: Could be any time now.

Postby FrankChurch » Wed Dec 15, 2010 12:08 pm

Chuck, do you believe in God?

Anthony Ravenscroft
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Re: Could be any time now.

Postby Anthony Ravenscroft » Sat Dec 18, 2010 10:10 pm

Barber: while Ouja left a hole in my current life, it's led back to other stuff.

See, my parents had a marriage that could best be desribed as "strained." I'm the eldest, & they divorced when I was 25 -- only then did they discover their friendship. But as a result I was a bit estranged from both of them for years. I moved to New Mexico in 2000, & found myself missing both of them, so I made more effort to visit both than I had since the 1980s.

When Mom died in 2007, I found myself an orphan at age 49. Awkward.

To have my sweet old cat look up at me, plaintive yet profoundly trusting, from the very spot we'd had Dad's final bed set up in 2005... well, it was doubly devastating. And I wish Mom & Dad had had the chance to meet one of the best friends (other than them) I'd ever had.


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