Why I'm depressed...

General discussions of interest to readers and fans of Harlan Ellison.

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David Silver
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Why I'm depressed...

Postby David Silver » Thu Sep 02, 2010 2:40 pm

Hey Frank, are you out there somewhere? I'm depressed, and I need to reconcile some things that weigh heavy on my mind...

Consider, over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, "Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land."

Then, nearly 75 years ago in the middle of the Great Depression, about the time welfare was introduced, FDR said, "Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, because this IS the Promised Land."

Today, in our don't-worry-it's-really-not-a-depression age, Obama has stolen our shovels, taxed our asses, raised the price of Camels, and MORTGAGED the Promised Land!

I've been so depressed lately, last night thinking about the screwy national health plan, the screwier economy, the wars, outsourcing, lost jobs, lost savings, Social Security, retirement funds...I've been so darn depressed, I called the Suicide Hotline. I had to press 1 for English. Then I was connected to a call center in Pakistan. I told them I was suicidal. They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck......

Frank, help me buddy, what's going on these days?

;)
We don't stop playing because we grow old.
We grow old because we stop playing.

-- George Bernard Shaw

Gwyneth M905
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Re: Why I'm depressed...

Postby Gwyneth M905 » Thu Sep 02, 2010 3:11 pm

Dear David,
While I cannot answer for Frank (who among us possibly could, with the exception of HE himself) I feel your pain. When the Suicide Hotline answered my call, I had to press 1 for English, 2 for Dari, 3 for Pashto, 4 for Punjabi, and 5 for Urdu. Once I had done all that, the automated system asked me if I'd like to work for the government. On an anonymous mission. When I finally got through to the Pakistani call center, all I could hear was gurgles and the sound of rushing water on the other end of the line. I couldn't tell if the call center was being flooded, or if my call center worker was in the john. By this point, I was so suicidal that I decided to completely end it all.
So this is being ghostwritten by Christopher Hitchen's penis, with help by Edgar Guest. (That accounts for the yellow in the snow.)
:twisted:
I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi Knight, the same as my Father.
STAR WARS (1977)

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Lori Koonce
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Re: Why I'm depressed...

Postby Lori Koonce » Fri Sep 03, 2010 12:25 pm

David

You may be depressed, but you still have that wonderfully dark sense of humour that made me like you so much!

Look, If you ever want a face to talk to, you can always email me. It's not like I've gotta go too far out of my way to come to your comfort and aid ya know.

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FrankChurch
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Re: Why I'm depressed...

Postby FrankChurch » Fri Sep 03, 2010 1:02 pm

Snap out of it Silver. Sure the whole world is going down the drain, but think of it as a new thrill ride:

http://www.google.com/#hl=en&source=hp& ... 6afec8c3ff

Click the first one.

Scootch over on that ledge.

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Lori Koonce
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Re: Why I'm depressed...

Postby Lori Koonce » Fri Sep 03, 2010 2:22 pm

Hey Frankie

Ya think you could put a little snippet of your voice out on the ether?

That way if I hear anything remotely like it the next time I've gotta call the suicide prevention people, I can hang up!


Gwyneth M905
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Re: Why I'm depressed...

Postby Gwyneth M905 » Fri Sep 03, 2010 4:01 pm

Frank: JOKE! :roll:
I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi Knight, the same as my Father.
STAR WARS (1977)

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Chuck Messer
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Re: Why I'm depressed...

Postby Chuck Messer » Fri Sep 03, 2010 7:57 pm

TRUE STORY

Nov 29, 2005

I was unemployed, nearing Xmas (what a wonderful time of the year) and I’d been denied unemployment benefits. I tried an appeal of the decision and was awaiting my hearing. (by the way, I lost)

I tried to sleep but I couldn't.

I didn't know what would happen. It sounded like a goddamn trial.

I just wanted to work again, that's all. I simply wanted to make it until then. That's all.

I was having a few night terrors. Depression. I'd been without my medication and the serotonin was dropping. There I was, at four in the morning and still awake. I was having suicidal thoughts. I've had them before, but there was no one I could tell that wouldn't freak out over it.

Finally I went on line and looked up suicide hot lines. I wasn't going to go ahead and do it, mind you, but I needed to talk, to vent, to unload. I got a 1-800 number and after a while I called it.

I was transferred to someone who was supposed to talk to me, to listen. I just needed someone to listen for a while. Maybe then, I'd get some sleep.

The woman who answered -- let's call her Judy -- asked me what she could do.

I started to tell her that I was having trouble sleeping, that I was depressed. I was out of work and the only reason I had any money was because some people helped me out. I told her I'd been denied unemployment benefits.

“What did you do?” she asked.
“Um, what?”
“I’m a business manager and I know how people lose their jobs. What did you do to get yourself fired?”

A little background: I worked at Dish Network call center for a year. The place was run like a soviet gulag. Even today, they’re constantly looking for ways to fire anyone who has worked there for a year or more so they can hire less experienced and cheaper help in the call center. The turnover rate there is two hundred percent. I never really spoke out about the conditions at Dish, but I did have several Attaboys from customers and a good balance of call report cards, several A's and B's. Yes, they graded us. I was fired because I got a second "Autofail" and it was two strikes and you're out.

When I first hired on to Dish, I was part of a class of 15 people who were trained as CSR's. We were one of the highest-scoring classes they ever had. There was only one of us left after I was let go.

Charming place, really.

Judy wasn’t interested in my sob story. She started to tell me that I needed to apply to at least 70-80 jobs per week, that I needed to get my name out there.

I told her I was depressed and that I was out of my medication.

She asked me how many applications I'd sent out. She wanted to be a job coach.

Funny, I didn't call to ask, "Duh, gee lady, how does I get a job?"

I needed someone to talk to. Someone who would listen. Instead I got a fucking high verbal with an agenda.

I hung up.

Well, I wasn't suicidal anymore. I was pissed. I wanted to choke that bitch until her eyeballs popped from their sockets. It’s amazing how thoughts of homicide can drive suicidal thoughts from one's mind.

People will talk to me because I listen. I don't interrupt, I don't try to fix it right then and there, I don't judge. I just listen and let the person know I'm listening. That's what I needed. That's what I would have liked. Someone who wouldn't freak out, wouldn't judge. Just listen. Let me vent, let me get it out so I could sleep.

Guess not, huh?

What a helluva crisis hotline.

On the other hand, I was no longer suicidal. Just remember, when depression and despair raise their ugly heads, just turn you thoughts to homicide. Just don’t act on them.

And when our lovely world gets you down and you’re thinking of leaving this vale of tears, recite the immortal words of Dorothy Parker:

acids stain you
and drugs cause cramp
razors pain you
and rivers are damp

guns aren't lawful
and nooses give
gas smells awful
you might as well live

Cheers!

Chuck
Some people are wedded to their ideology the way nuns are wed to God.

reddragon70
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Re: Why I'm depressed...

Postby reddragon70 » Sat Sep 04, 2010 3:58 am

Dont worry, thing arent THAT bad. Really theyre not....

How much worse could it be?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J1__dINxiXU

Listen to this and you'll find out... very 1984.

cynic
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Re: Why I'm depressed...

Postby cynic » Sat Sep 04, 2010 1:34 pm

in the watchtower,
babylon?
i passed the high, open windows as a child,
but continued, on occasion, to peer down .
many years gone now,
no assurance my feet yet touch ground.
dancing for rain,
on the apocalypse parade.

:lol:
follow your bliss,mike

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FrankChurch
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Re: Why I'm depressed...

Postby FrankChurch » Sat Sep 04, 2010 2:45 pm

:shock:

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Steve Evil
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Re: Why I'm depressed...

Postby Steve Evil » Sun Sep 12, 2010 8:09 am

I'd tell you why I'm depressed, but that would be too damn depressing. I come here to cheer up. So come on, where is everybody? Let the witicisms role. (But don't let things get too silly, or I might have to intervene. . .)


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