Megga Frustration and How To Cope

General discussions of interest to readers and fans of Harlan Ellison.

Moderator: Moderator

User avatar
markabaddon
Posts: 1790
Joined: Tue Mar 14, 2006 3:24 pm

Re: Megga Frustration and How To Cope

Postby markabaddon » Tue Mar 23, 2010 8:02 am

Lori,

Two things I have found to combat my depression when the downward spiral starts:

exercise

getting outside even if it is just to lay an let the suns rays soak into me

You and I have spoken off-line about your getting a light-box. Any progress on that?

Mark
Governments, if they endure, always tend increasingly toward aristrocratic forms. No gov't in history has been known to evade this pattern. And as the aristocracy develops, gov't tends more and mroe to act exclusively in the interests of the ruling class

User avatar
David Loftus
Posts: 3182
Joined: Fri Aug 20, 2004 2:15 pm
Location: Portland, Oregon
Contact:

Re: Megga Frustration and How To Cope

Postby David Loftus » Tue Mar 23, 2010 1:59 pm

FrankChurch wrote:Harlan saying he had depression shocked me. He seems like the last guy to be depressed.



I am the most balanced, sensible, sane person I know. I've had my down periods, but I doubt they would qualify as depression as some of you have experienced it. Mostly, I just plunge my head into books and wait them out.

However, it would not surprise me at all if, as I age, I increasingly experience depression of a more deep and enduring sort, and seriously consider suicide as the proper response. It could well happen.

Meanwhile, Lori -- you know you have all our best wishes.

The best temporary cure for depression I know of is a dog. If you aren't up to the commitment and responsibility of keeping one around permanently, I'd urge you to seek out a dog show. I guarantee your smile muscles will get achy sore.
War is, at first, the hope that one will be better off; next, the expectation that the other fellow will be worse off; then, the satisfaction that he isn't any better off; and, finally, the surprise at everyone's being worse off. - Karl Kraus

Gwyneth M905
Posts: 1260
Joined: Thu Aug 31, 2006 11:40 pm
Location: San Francisco, California

Re: Megga Frustration and How To Cope

Postby Gwyneth M905 » Tue Mar 30, 2010 10:50 pm

Lori, I'd call you but I think we'd probably be really bad company for each other these days. I've been going through rapid cycling manic depressive episodes including hallucinations and hypnagogia-waking-walking states when I discover that I have no idea where I am or what I've been doing.

I'm absolutely terrified and currently am sorting out with my psychopharmacologist which of my 16 medications needs tweaking. Of course, one of the big question marks is early onset menopause, and an underlying endocrinological issue.

Then there's my regular doc, who, two weeks ago at my last checkup, told me she thinks I have lupus. Blood tests taken, fingers crossed, dua'as said.

Sorry to be such a downer, but I really just need a place to let my hair down and vent. I'm a walking fricken pharmacy. And I'm exhausted all the time when I'm not manic and wanting to find pieces of jagged glass.
I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi Knight, the same as my Father.
STAR WARS (1977)

User avatar
FrankChurch
Posts: 16283
Joined: Wed May 28, 2003 2:19 pm

Re: Megga Frustration and How To Cope

Postby FrankChurch » Wed Mar 31, 2010 9:10 am

Gwyn, wow. Take care of yourself. Do you really need all those drugs?

User avatar
Lori Koonce
Posts: 3538
Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2007 12:10 pm
Location: San Francisco California
Contact:

Re: Megga Frustration and How To Cope

Postby Lori Koonce » Wed Mar 31, 2010 10:41 am

Gwyn

Heard, and understood. Hopefully you and the Doc get this figured out soon, and I can have my buddy and coffee mate (pun intended) back!

User avatar
FrankChurch
Posts: 16283
Joined: Wed May 28, 2003 2:19 pm

Re: Megga Frustration and How To Cope

Postby FrankChurch » Wed Mar 31, 2010 11:38 am

Lori, you have other friends, right?

User avatar
Steve Evil
Posts: 3519
Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2004 3:22 pm
Location: Some Cave in Kanata
Contact:

Re: Megga Frustration and How To Cope

Postby Steve Evil » Wed Mar 31, 2010 11:44 am

Ezra Lb. wrote:Is getting laid not a viable solution anymore?


Not always. . .

[ahem]

User avatar
Lori Koonce
Posts: 3538
Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2007 12:10 pm
Location: San Francisco California
Contact:

Re: Megga Frustration and How To Cope

Postby Lori Koonce » Wed Mar 31, 2010 11:49 am

Got a lot of friends Frank, but they aren't in the middle of mental health crises as fr as I know. Matter of fact as soon as I'm done downloading some games for the long like I'm facing for my money tomorrow, I'm going to go take pictures with one of them.

User avatar
Steve Evil
Posts: 3519
Joined: Tue Jan 06, 2004 3:22 pm
Location: Some Cave in Kanata
Contact:

Re: Megga Frustration and How To Cope

Postby Steve Evil » Wed Mar 31, 2010 12:03 pm

Good luck Gwynnie. Good luck. . .


Hang in there Lori. . .


I once read an article by Andrew Wiel, the naturalist nutrionist guy with a big white beard, in which he said that the best cure for depression was thirty minutes of aerobic exercise a day. Now I haven't read anything else by Wiel, so I don't know if he's a respectable scientist or a bullshit pseudo-scientist, and I know that brain chemistry is much much more complicated than all that, but I'm sure that at worst, it does no further harm. I have noticed periods of elation following physical activity, and mood slumps during periods of sloth.

I've also found the healing powers of great art to be quite profound. Fill one's mind with wonder. . .

Gwyneth M905
Posts: 1260
Joined: Thu Aug 31, 2006 11:40 pm
Location: San Francisco, California

Re: Megga Frustration and How To Cope

Postby Gwyneth M905 » Wed Mar 31, 2010 1:13 pm

You guys are all correct: exercise, sunlight, friendship, all ease MI, sometimes to the point (for some people) of not needing as much medication.

Frankie, in January, before my Medicare part D kicked in, I had to beg, borrow and steal roughly $1600 dollars to pay for my medications for one month. Am I happy that the health care bill is going to close the Part D "donut hole"? You betcha'! It may not be great, but for folks like me, it's a lifeline to potentially getting back into the workforce and/or getting drug costs down to some reasonable levels.

I have a particularly nasty and stubborn case of bipolar illness, which is why I disappear from the boards from time to time. Stuff like thinking I could fly off the Golden Gate Bridge (well, technically, I could...it would just be the landing that would be problematic). Then I crash and sleep 18-20 hours a day -- literally unable to stay awake -- falling asleep on my feet.

Dad had this illness, and so did my grandmother. She got shock therapy, which basically mangled her memory and left her with horrible agoraphobia and paranoia; Dad tried to self-medicate with LSD, and hashish. He used to smuggle it from Turkey, if the stories are true, and was known as the "Savior of Amsterdam" at one point during the '60's when no hash was getting through. Dad died at 62 from trying to self-medicate. Both he and my grandmother were wonderful people, there just wasn't appropriate, available help for them.

I'm on so many drugs because my brain chemistry is basically FUBAR -- my right brain and left brain don't talk to each other properly. So I take a lot of anti-seizure drugs, as well as antidepressants, mood stabilizers, GABA promoters, and 4 different benzodiazepines. Plus sleep medication, as my sleep patterns are all messed up. (I've been known to talk and walk in my sleep.)

So, for those of you who pray, please send one for me winging towards the tutelary deity of your choice; and well-wishes from all the agnostics and atheists on the board are very welcome. I'm truly scared of losing it totally, being kicked out of my apartment where I've lived for 16 years, and ending up on the streets.
I want to learn the ways of the Force and become a Jedi Knight, the same as my Father.
STAR WARS (1977)

User avatar
Chuck Messer
Posts: 2089
Joined: Wed May 21, 2003 9:15 pm
Location: Lakewood, Colorado

Re: Megga Frustration and How To Cope

Postby Chuck Messer » Wed Mar 31, 2010 7:40 pm

A shout out to Lori and Gwyn, and sending good thoughts on their behalf to whatever or whomever is in charge out there.

Closest I could come to an actual prayer. My sister has had terrible problems with bipolar disorder, but the docs did manage to find the meds that got things more or less under control. I hope for the same for you, Gwyn.

And keep taking your meds Lori!

Hang in there the both of you.

Chuck
Some people are wedded to their ideology the way nuns are wed to God.

User avatar
robochrist
Posts: 3426
Joined: Sun Jun 06, 2004 1:30 pm

Re: Megga Frustration and How To Cope

Postby robochrist » Thu Apr 01, 2010 4:33 am

I relate to Lori on this matter. I had a serious collision with depression about 2 years ago. I took Lexapro, which seemed to help me a LOT. The medication went way up in price, so they changed the prescription to Celexa. Since the switch, my emotional state has not been as consistent (in terms of the physical pain). Celexa may not be precisely what I need now:

At times, the disruption can rip through my system, accompanied by intense anxiety, low self-esteem, panic attacks (mostly about the future), and nausea. I lose lots of sleep during these bouts. THEN, of course, I feel like utter shit!

I can lose my cool too easily if I'm taken off guard by this condition. Small things can, quite pointlessly, seem like a big deal ("Why does that goddamn plumber have too make so much noise fixing my sink?" "I don't like that flower sitting on the table! Get rid of it!" "Quit talkin' nice ta me, or I'll beat you with my bed pan!") . I'm finding ways to deal with that, but I do have to stay cognizant to keep a damper on it, and avoid barking at people.

I'm finding the solutions, but it IS a ladder that has to be climbed.

User avatar
David Loftus
Posts: 3182
Joined: Fri Aug 20, 2004 2:15 pm
Location: Portland, Oregon
Contact:

Re: Megga Frustration and How To Cope

Postby David Loftus » Thu Apr 01, 2010 10:10 am

My heart goes out to alla youse guys.

Which raises a question for me. It makes perfect sense that edgy, vulnerable folks like you would be drawn to a writer like Harlan, but why would a nice, well-behaved, sensible boy like me have been?

(Other than the fact that I'm introverted, over-analytical, and scared/angered by death?)
War is, at first, the hope that one will be better off; next, the expectation that the other fellow will be worse off; then, the satisfaction that he isn't any better off; and, finally, the surprise at everyone's being worse off. - Karl Kraus

User avatar
Lori Koonce
Posts: 3538
Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2007 12:10 pm
Location: San Francisco California
Contact:

Re: Megga Frustration and How To Cope

Postby Lori Koonce » Thu Apr 01, 2010 10:47 am

David

Prehaps you saw something in Harlan that you wanted for yourself? I know that's how it worked for me. I started off reading his personal essays, and really admired the way he just put it out there without much worry. I've always wanted to be that way, and figured that a role model was in order.

Gang: Thanks for all the good wishes and thoughts. After I pick up my weekly SSI alotment I'm going out to do something with my best friend Vance. He always knows how to keep me on some sort of even keel. We've been watching a lot of Faulty Towers lately, he's got the entire 2 year run, and I find that a good gut busting belly laugh helps quit a bit. If you can't laugh at John Cleese you need a hell of a lot more than medication IMNSHO!!!

User avatar
robochrist
Posts: 3426
Joined: Sun Jun 06, 2004 1:30 pm

Re: Megga Frustration and How To Cope

Postby robochrist » Thu Apr 01, 2010 10:47 am

"But why would a nice, well-behaved, sensible boy like me have been?"

You DO seem awfully outta PLACE! At LEAST develop a twitch! FAKE it if you need to!


Return to “General”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests