The internet is like a penis

General discussions of interest to readers and fans of Harlan Ellison.

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Lori Koonce
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The internet is like a penis

Postby Lori Koonce » Sun Dec 13, 2009 3:54 pm

Found this on another forum I frequent and thought you all would like it!

The Internet is like a penis

It can be up or down. It's more fun when it's up, but it makes it hard
to get any real work done.

In the long-distant past, its only purpose was to transmit information
considered vital to the survival of the species. Some people still think
that's the only thing it should be used for, but most folks today use it
for fun most of the time.

It has no conscience and no memory. Left to its own devices, it will
just do the same damn dumb things it did before.

It provides a way to interact with other people. Some people take this
interaction very seriously, others treat it as a lark. Sometimes it's
hard to tell what kind of person you're dealing with until it's too late.

If you don't apply the appropriate protective measures, it can spread
viruses.

It has no brain of its own. Instead, it uses yours. If you use it too
much, you'll find it becomes more and more difficult to think coherently.

We attach an importance to it that is far greater than its actual size
and influence warrant.

If you're not careful what you do with it, it can get you in big trouble.

It has its own agenda. Somehow, no matter how good your intentions, it
will warp your behavior. Later you may ask yourself "why on earth did I
do that?"

Some folks have it, some don't.

Those who have it would be devastated if it were ever cut off. They
think that those who don't have it are somehow inferior. They think it
gives them power. They are wrong.

Those who don't have it may agree that it's a nifty toy, but think it's
not worth the fuss that those who do have it make about it. Still, many
of those who don't have it would like to try it.

Once you've started playing with it, it's hard to stop. Some people
would just play with it all day if they didn't have work to do.
--

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Re: The internet is like a penis

Postby Moderator » Sun Dec 13, 2009 4:13 pm

And THAT, gentle ladyfolk, is what it is like inside a man's brain.

8)
- I love to find adventure. All I need is a change of clothes, my Nikon, an open mind and a strong cup of coffee.

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Lori Koonce
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Re: The internet is like a penis

Postby Lori Koonce » Sun Dec 13, 2009 4:34 pm

You would say the one thing that gets me laughing hard enough that I run the risk of being asked to leave my coffee shot Barber!

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FrankChurch
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Re: The internet is like a penis

Postby FrankChurch » Mon Dec 14, 2009 10:31 am

A personal question for the ladies: do you find the penis attractive? I always wanted to know that. A penis is one of the great artistic accomplishments of a loving God. That and a green pepper, but a penis tastes better, not that I'd know..lol

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David Loftus
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Re: The internet is like a penis

Postby David Loftus » Mon Dec 14, 2009 6:18 pm

And too often, it sticks its head in places it oughtn't to go.
War is, at first, the hope that one will be better off; next, the expectation that the other fellow will be worse off; then, the satisfaction that he isn't any better off; and, finally, the surprise at everyone's being worse off. - Karl Kraus

diane bartels
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Re: The internet is like a penis

Postby diane bartels » Sat Dec 19, 2009 3:52 pm

Frank,
Like so much else, some are,some not so much. But green pepper is better on pizza. Thanks, Laurie, for the laugh. Diane


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