Rantage part who knows what

General discussions of interest to readers and fans of Harlan Ellison.

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FrankChurch
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Re: Rantage part who knows what

Postby FrankChurch » Mon Nov 30, 2009 5:38 pm

San Francisco does have a lot of gay men. You ever think of that?

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Jan
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Re: Rantage part who knows what

Postby Jan » Mon Nov 30, 2009 5:39 pm

*enters*
Ok all you happily partnered people...

*turns to leave* *spots Duane* *is perplexed* *leaves anyway*
*rats out Duane to security staff*

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Re: Rantage part who knows what

Postby Moderator » Mon Nov 30, 2009 5:44 pm

Lori Koonce wrote:I can envision you doing a lot of things, but ballroom dancing wouldn't have even ranked in the top 100. You owe it to your fan base!



I'd imagine anybody who has seen a picture of me lately would have difficulty envisioning it, but it's true.

As noted, it's how I met Cris. The guy who introduced us was, in fact, the reigning national champion at the time. (Think DWTS' Len Goodman thirty years younger.)

I knew and was friends with most of the top pros (including being on a nodding basis with DWTS' Mark Ballas' parents Corky and Shirley). The just-retired US pro champion was someone we called "the kid" -- and his main function was to run around to the judges and gather their scores.

Served time on both the USC and Hollywood Formation Dance Teams (Yes, Virginia, there are such things), and was called in a pinch by the Beverly Hills professional formation team when needed (though I could not take a paycheck, since that would damage my amateur standing).

Our wedding party was tongue-in-cheek referred to as "The Formation Team" since out of fourteen attendants, ten were competitors + Cris and me. The live band playing our reception gave us an unenthusiastic "uh-huh" when we told them half the guests would be dancers -- which rapidly changed to "WTF?" when they started to play at the wedding.

And like most brats of that day and age, we "owned" the LA Hard Rock Cafe, where we would often go after a show or comp -- so often, in fact, that our waitress came to the wedding.

Lessee: Straight male, 30 inch waist, flat stomach, nice pecs (even if I do say so myself), solid guns, and a lot of very available scantily clad women running around.

Then Cris came along and made an honest (and relatively sober) man out of me -- for which I am eternally grateful.

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.

Long before video...
- I love to find adventure. All I need is a change of clothes, my Nikon, an open mind and a strong cup of coffee.

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Lori Koonce
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Re: Rantage part who knows what

Postby Lori Koonce » Mon Nov 30, 2009 5:47 pm

*grabs Jan by the scruff of the neck*

If you don't stick around, there is sterner stuff than this in store for you Mister.

Frank, that's one reason I don't cruise the Castro. But, I've had the same problem other places I've lived as well. We don''t want to get me started on the fact that I think it should be federal law that all gay men wear a pink dot on their forheads...... But, I'm attempting to limit myself to one rant a day....

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Lori Koonce
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Re: Rantage part who knows what

Postby Lori Koonce » Mon Nov 30, 2009 5:51 pm

Fine Barber, I'll settle for a still shot then.

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Ezra Lb.
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Re: Rantage part who knows what

Postby Ezra Lb. » Mon Nov 30, 2009 7:38 pm

Lori wrote

Actually travled all the way to Toronto just to find out that the dude was wonderful behind a computer screen and something totally different in person.

Not like any of us huh? :wink:

I'm in therapy to learn to like my own company.

Is there a way to do that? I've always detested myself and considered myself ugly and stupid. But I realize that this is just the mirror image of thinking yourself the greatest thing on earth. Ego in reverse. In reality I'm neither god nor devil, genius or moron, neither a hearthrob nor a horror, simply a normal human being with desires, dreams and nightmares like most who went before me. We have to forgive ourselves our ordinariness.

Steve have you ever known Ezra not to take a scientific viewpoint on ANYTHING oter tha politics around here.

Actually I take a scientific approach on politics too but if you want metaphors here, try this.

Love is not a mountain that falls on you. It's a well you dig in the ground.
“We must not always talk in the marketplace,” Hester Prynne said, “of what happens to us in the forest.”
-Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter

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David Loftus
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Re: Rantage part who knows what

Postby David Loftus » Mon Nov 30, 2009 8:37 pm

Lori:

Another way of saying what a few other folks have been edging around is:

Stop looking for Mr. or Ms. Right, and just concentrate on BEING Ms. Right.

Focus your energy on being the person you were meant to be, the person you ARE, and doing the things you want to do. People who like that sort of person will just naturally be drawn to her. If you focus your energy on your own desires and activities -- always keeping in mind what somebody said about being OPEN to the folks who happen to wander by -- you'll just naturally take the pressure off other folks who would otherwise feel they're being scoped and auditioned.

And even in the (unlikely) event that you don't end up with somebody nice, you'll have taught yourself in the mean time to enjoy your own company. Which is the least anybody should expect out of life.
War is, at first, the hope that one will be better off; next, the expectation that the other fellow will be worse off; then, the satisfaction that he isn't any better off; and, finally, the surprise at everyone's being worse off. - Karl Kraus

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Chuck Messer
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Re: Rantage part who knows what

Postby Chuck Messer » Mon Nov 30, 2009 8:53 pm

Lori: What David said. Not that I'm an expert in affairs of the heart. I haven't fallen in love so much as stepped in it a few times. Nowadays, my oddball work schedule -- 11:30 pm to 7:30 am -- makes a social life outside my circle of friends and family members a bit difficult. Notice the wry understatement.

I'm pretty comfortable with myself, warts and all. Like Harlan, I am ACUTELY aware of my warts. Sometimes I wish I were a bit more delusional.

I do notice that people are often attracted to others who are self-confident, who are comfortable with themselves. They give off a non-verbal vibe that people are drawn to.

It reminds me of the line from Broadcast News:
Wouldn't this be a great world if insecurity and desperation made us more attractive? If "needy" were a turn-on?


Sigh. Yeah, wouldn't it be great?

Chuck
Some people are wedded to their ideology the way nuns are wed to God.

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Lori Koonce
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Re: Rantage part who knows what

Postby Lori Koonce » Mon Nov 30, 2009 10:48 pm

Ezra: It's called learning what can be fixed and fixing it and learning to cope with those things I'm stuck with. I think thats what therapy is supposed to be about.


David: I know you are right. I keep on reminding myself that if I don't wanna live with me I shouldn't expect anyone else to want to either. Ifigure that by the time I'm done with therapy I'll have put any kids the woman has thru Grad school. Hope I don't end up totally single with that kind of work put into it.


Chuck: I learned that needy is a turn on for some. Only problem is they aren't the ones you want to be attracting, and they are rather hard to get rid of once you got 'em. Mine finally had the courtsey to DIE!!!!

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Chuck Messer
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Re: Rantage part who knows what

Postby Chuck Messer » Tue Dec 01, 2009 7:08 pm

Yeah, that's true. Vulnerability is very attractive to motherfuckers like that. I'm glad you got loose from that one.

It's like Unca Harlan has said, "Be careful what boxes you open, troops!"

Chuck
Some people are wedded to their ideology the way nuns are wed to God.

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David Loftus
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Re: Rantage part who knows what

Postby David Loftus » Wed Dec 02, 2009 12:34 am

> I learned that needy is a turn on for some. Only problem is they aren't the ones you want to be
> attracting, and they are rather hard to get rid of once you got 'em.


There was a wonderful New Yorker cartoon some years back that I may not have saved, but I've never forgotten. These two women are talking on the street, and one of them has a man sort of draped over her back, clinging to her. She has a fairly bored expression as she says to the other woman something like: This is Todd, we're currently in a relationship.
War is, at first, the hope that one will be better off; next, the expectation that the other fellow will be worse off; then, the satisfaction that he isn't any better off; and, finally, the surprise at everyone's being worse off. - Karl Kraus

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Lori Koonce
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Re: Rantage part who knows what

Postby Lori Koonce » Wed Dec 02, 2009 9:40 am

Chuck Messer wrote:Yeah, that's true. Vulnerability is very attractive to motherfuckers like that. I'm glad you got loose from that one.

It's like Unca Harlan has said, "Be careful what boxes you open, troops!"

Chuck


I'm too busy thinking about his comparison of love and starfish, cause this girl is feeling mightly chomped on at the this time.

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Lori Koonce
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Re: Rantage part who knows what

Postby Lori Koonce » Wed Dec 02, 2009 9:43 am

David Loftus wrote:> I learned that needy is a turn on for some. Only problem is they aren't the ones you want to be
> attracting, and they are rather hard to get rid of once you got 'em.


There was a wonderful New Yorker cartoon some years back that I may not have saved, but I've never forgotten. These two women are talking on the street, and one of them has a man sort of draped over her back, clinging to her. She has a fairly bored expression as she says to the other woman something like: This is Todd, we're currently in a relationship.


Perfect visual for what I'm talking about. And the really rotten thing is these people don't even seem to get the economy size clue that people toss them.

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Chuck Messer
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Re: Rantage part who knows what

Postby Chuck Messer » Wed Dec 02, 2009 10:58 am

I'm too busy thinking about his comparison of love and starfish, cause this girl is feeling mightly chomped on at the this time.


I'm with ya there, Lori. I feel rather chomped on as well. I kinda makes one gunshy.

Chuck
Some people are wedded to their ideology the way nuns are wed to God.

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Ezra Lb.
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Re: Rantage part who knows what

Postby Ezra Lb. » Wed Dec 02, 2009 11:17 am

My friend and work colleague Hema, being the offspring of a brahmin from Bengal (no not the beginning of a joke), was the beneficiary of an arranged marriage, thirty years and going.

This kind of thing offends our romantic sensibilities but it seems to me a perfectly valid approach. Hema and her betrothed learned to love each other through their marriage.

We want celestial choirs and the magic moment when we knew we were destined for all time to be each other's one and only. And this occasionally happens but only occasionally, mostly in the stories. And because we hold this to be our ideal most of us are doomed to go through life frustrated and disappointed when it never happens to us. We feel that there must be something wrong with us. It couldn't be that we simply have unrealistic expectations.

Who's NOT needy in some way? Who doesn't need warmth and friendship and sex? This is not a weakness. It's certainly not something to be cured of.
“We must not always talk in the marketplace,” Hester Prynne said, “of what happens to us in the forest.”
-Nathaniel Hawthorne, The Scarlet Letter


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