72 Virgins: Can't Wait!!

General discussions of interest to readers and fans of Harlan Ellison.

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Duane
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72 Virgins: Can't Wait!!

Postby Duane » Wed Feb 07, 2007 4:04 pm

Here's what awaits all the jackass suicide bombers after they do their deed and ascend up to their precious idea of heaven. Can't say I blame them. :lol:

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David Loftus
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Postby David Loftus » Wed Feb 07, 2007 6:50 pm

They CLAIM that's what awaits 'em.

But nobody ever has pictures.
War is, at first, the hope that one will be better off; next, the expectation that the other fellow will be worse off; then, the satisfaction that he isn't any better off; and, finally, the surprise at everyone's being worse off. - Karl Kraus

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Postby kevinkirby » Wed Feb 07, 2007 10:30 pm

As long as no offensive infidel has the utter gall to bury them in swine intestines, there shouldn't appear any convincing proof otherwise.

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FrankChurch
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Postby FrankChurch » Sat Feb 10, 2007 12:09 pm

Hey, at least, unlike our Christians the Muslims like sex. 72 virgins would kill me.

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Postby Moderator » Sat Feb 10, 2007 12:59 pm

In the doorway to the afterlife, a suicide bomber is speaking to the angel working the reception desk.

"Welcome to eternity," the angel was saying. "Your allotment of vestal virgins awaits, but there's something we need to discuss first..."

"Yes, yes," the martyr exclaimed, rubbing his hands together in excitement, "tell me quick."

"Well," said the angel, "you died in an explosion, which results in many, many parts of your body being thrown every which way. We try, we truly try, to find them all and reassemble you completely."

"Uh..." said the martyr, not liking where this was going, "do you mean...???"

"Yes," confirmed the angel. "I'm afraid that whenever a suicide bomber detonates themselves they, um, don't ever arrive 'completely' intact." The angel paused, thoughtfully. "This isn't Heaven you know."
- I love to find adventure. All I need is a change of clothes, my Nikon, an open mind and a strong cup of coffee.

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Hathor
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Postby Hathor » Sun Feb 11, 2007 3:24 pm

I always liked the joke where after the suicide bomber murders the people, he gets to the after-life where everyone from George Washington to Robert E Lee is waiting with with pitchforks and axe-handles to kick his ass for eternity.

"Oh, you misinterpreted", says St. Peter. "It was 72 Virginians..."

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Postby Carstonio » Sun Feb 11, 2007 3:58 pm

Supposedly, "virgins" was a mistranslation of "grapes".

But I'm not completely convinced that the promise of virgins is sufficient motivation on its own to convince Muslims to turn into suicide bombers. I keep thinking that it has to be a combination of both religious dogma and social conditioning.

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kevinkirby
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An Alternate Culture

Postby kevinkirby » Sun Feb 11, 2007 5:45 pm

An objective observer might also have trouble reconciling any claim to holy sanctity, or purely religious motivation, with an economic impetus for mass slaughter.

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Postby Hathor » Tue Feb 13, 2007 5:57 pm

I'm trying to remember the author who wrote "The Nephilum Seed" a while back. The guy was sort of like the Christian version of Dean Koontz, and rather than having the Bible justify his actions, HIS serial murderer went off on Nietszchie's "Man and Superman".


And then there's Sam Kinison :twisted: : "It was THE MONKEES! THEY told me to do it!!"

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Steve Evil
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Postby Steve Evil » Thu Feb 15, 2007 11:38 am

Carstonio wrote:Supposedly, "virgins" was a mistranslation of "grapes".



Someone's getting a raw deal here.

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Davey C
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Postby Davey C » Thu Feb 15, 2007 11:55 am

Virgins, like grapes, lose their novelty after the first dozen or so.

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Postby paul » Thu Feb 15, 2007 1:35 pm

And, do you realize how many virgins you have to press to get a full bottle?
I prefer complex wines to astringent ones and besides, Beaujolais is illegal in some places. :twisted:
The medium is the message.

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Postby Moderator » Thu Feb 15, 2007 1:58 pm

paul wrote: Beaujolais is illegal in some places.



Fascists.
- I love to find adventure. All I need is a change of clothes, my Nikon, an open mind and a strong cup of coffee.


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