Lust Is Blind

General discussions of interest to readers and fans of Harlan Ellison.

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robochrist
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Postby robochrist » Mon Dec 05, 2005 7:35 pm

An additional note: I had a great looking blonde with me here this weekend. This Russian girl I used to date on and off for about a year. Terry saw her with me. Now Terry is talking to me a lot.

That lady is very pretty. But she's not exactly my type. Sort of a Russian bimbo type. But she soived her poipose.

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Hathor
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Postby Hathor » Mon Dec 05, 2005 8:32 pm

So was she Moroccan Mocha? Sun-Kissed Swede? Give, Give!
(The Russian Men Are A*M*A*Z*I*NG*, too. They're ALL electrical engineers there's no worry about accidentally giving birth to a moron if you cat around with one! My theory is they're grown in a lab somewhere. They're a little TOO perfect, dammit :twisted:)

Unfortunately, my lust for Russian Engineers has been side-tracked because I've been dope-slapped, tagged, hip-checked, and afflicted by something that is coming close to THE REAL THING. I'm *H*O*P*I*N*G*
it isn't, and that I'm just in a state of dumb-founded admiration because I'd never seen anything like him in my ENTIRE life. (Shows how sad it has been so far :twisted:)

Actually the only thing I dislike about him is he seems the envious type, and it takes all my bearing not to slap him upside the head and tell him he has a lot to be proud of in himself....

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robochrist
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Postby robochrist » Mon Dec 05, 2005 10:04 pm

Hathor,

The way you worded your sentiments about this guy is very much like what Terry often says to people about ME. I am convinced for that reason that - upon the final dying gasp of her relationship with her ex-boyfriend - she'd have been going with me in a snap. Living here as roommates has simply been an insurmountable problem. When she leaves...we'll see (either I'll never or rarely ever see her again, or she'll be seeing me a lot; I'll take EITHER scenario to the one tormenting me right now).

My Russian lady here...well, she's a bit like a Russian Valley Girl. I enjoy Terry's company much more.

Tell me what it means when a lady - like yourself - says she "admires" a guy? Does it imply a certain attraction to the guy? Or is it as platonic as it sounds? OR does it simply vary depending on that woman?

I wonder because I heard Terry tell my other roommate that she "really admires me." In a SENSE I felt insulted. I don't want her to admire me. I want her to LUST after me and chase my ass around the living room to relieve me of all this work.

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David Loftus
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Postby David Loftus » Tue Dec 06, 2005 11:40 am

"I admire you" is akin to "let's just be friends." It means: I wish I could love you or lust after you, because I'm sure it would be very good for me, but I don't, really.
War is, at first, the hope that one will be better off; next, the expectation that the other fellow will be worse off; then, the satisfaction that he isn't any better off; and, finally, the surprise at everyone's being worse off. - Karl Kraus

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robochrist
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Postby robochrist » Tue Dec 06, 2005 1:34 pm

David,

Yeah, well. That was always my take on it too, so I'm not quite THAT detached from reality.

Since I can't turn the emotional valves off like a robot I am proceeding as I've already stated below.

I know she likes the way I look. I have a physique because I've worked out all my life. And I often see her "scanning" me. And I look a helluva lot better than the dipshit ex-boyfriend (whom she easily outclassed) she'd spent 5 years with (which seems to have finally taken an official close just about 2 months ago).

So, given to the extent you are right, David, I feel the barriers lie elsewhere. The fact that my other roommate was her close high school friend; and simply the awkwardness of renting this apartment together.

When she moves we'll find out what happens. (remember, until then I'm stuck; I've no legal means or ethical right to toss her out) If I never see her again it would be preferable to going through this. Until then I'm going to do my best to stay away from her.

If anything gets better I'll tell you about it and how it happened.

Eric Martin
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Postby Eric Martin » Tue Dec 06, 2005 2:14 pm

Lust is Blind Quiz:

Ok guys, time for some review and a spot quiz. As with all things Webderland, there's no right answers.

1) Rank the following world-famous men of action in order of their success with the ladies:

--Humphrey Bogart
--Clark Gable
--Harrison Ford
--Rob Van Gessel

2) Rate the moves of these accomplished conquerors of women from most to least inspiring:

--Casanova
--Warren Beatty
--Bill Clinton
--Rob Van Gessel

3) Which of these film characters most reminds you, in their dealings with hot babes, of Rob Van Gessel?

--Jerry Lewis with Susan Oliver in "The Disorderly Orderly"
--William Shatner with Angie Dickinson in "Big Bad Mama"
--Steve Martin with Bernadette Peters in "The Jerk"
--Boris Karloff with Elsa Lanchester in "Bride of Frankenstein"

Bonus Question: You are a hot babe, living in an apartment with a guy who breaks plates in the sink and parades Russian bimbos around to get you in bed. Does that work?

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robochrist
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Postby robochrist » Tue Dec 06, 2005 2:15 pm

Quick follow-up:

I think her seeing this beautiful blonde chick emerging from my room last night after a few hours may have an interesting effect on her.

Now I'm going to deprive her of my company for a good while.

(I'm also starting to think about women's psychology when they're in the throes of a breakup after a very long relationship. After 5 years she probably wants to meet a bunch of guys - however much she might already like ONE - for a while before she decides to date any one in particular on a regular basis)

(Question: what attracts Gen X girls most?)

DVG
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Postby DVG » Tue Dec 06, 2005 5:23 pm

Dear me.





I'd like to introduce you to my cousin Amanda, I think.






Can't stand the bitch, actually.

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robochrist
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Postby robochrist » Tue Dec 06, 2005 5:26 pm

DVG,

"Can't stand the bitch"

BOY, have I been using THAT line a lot lately.

In any case, sure. Send amana

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P.A. Berman
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Postby P.A. Berman » Tue Dec 06, 2005 5:36 pm

robochrist wrote:I think her seeing this beautiful blonde chick emerging from my room last night after a few hours may have an interesting effect on her.

Now I'm going to deprive her of my company for a good while.


Rob, this is really sick. Seriously, playing games like this? It's no basis for a relationship that lasts, at least, not one that's healthy. So much manipulation, mistrust, passive-aggressive behavior, is that ever going to right itself and turn into something lasting that's good for both of you?

(Question: what attracts Gen X girls most?)


Emotional unavailability? :twisted: Independence? Openness? Not breaking dishes in the sink and bringing home Russian chicks just to make us jealous?

You're not going to listen to any advice you're given, Rob, but I'm going to give it anyway. I say this with all due compassion, since I'm hardly someone to be preaching, being less than totally successful in this area. Run away. Stop talking to her when she moves out. Let it go. If she actually wants you, she will contact you. I know how hard this is to do, but you'll never feel right about this if it keeps going the way it's going.

Also, get yourself a therapist and stop broadcasting this on the net. I'm embarrassed for you, man. This is hard to read.

Going back into semi-retirement,
PAB
I don't know. I don't care. And it doesn't matter anyway. ~Jack Kerouac

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robochrist
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Postby robochrist » Tue Dec 06, 2005 6:02 pm

PAB,

You jumped to a couple of wrong assumptions, so please read this through:

I realize when the sizzle points of a drama are isolated in a forum the full picture can be missed.

One, re: "Stop talking to her when she moves out. Let it go. If she actually wants you, she will contact you."

For clarity, that's what I'm intending to do. I was trying to convey that in my earlier posts. One thing you seem to be missing is that - in spite of my desires for her - she and I know each other very well. We've spent a full year knowing each other's quirks, views, likes, dislikes, past pains, and so on. When she leaves, I'm simply telling her, "please give me a call if you still want to see me at all."

Two, I didn't bring a Russian girl in to mess with Terry's head. This lady was a legitimate guest. Terry already knows her a little. The timing just happened to be right in terms of how it would effect Terry's perception of me ("is this guy leeching onto me? Or does he have SOME woman in his life SOMEWHERE"). So, you got it backward. The intention wasn't to mess with Terry, but this girl's presence DID have an impact on her.

When I say I'm going to deprive her of my company for a while, that is an appropriate psychological step because it allows Terry to think about her feelings a bit, and not figure I'm going to leech on her all the time. Who knows what your own experiences are, but this dynamic works. It's not sick; it's the strategy of approaching and then knowing when to pull back.

And just for the record, PAB, since you seem to feel you need to be "embarrassed" for me...Terry and I had a nice "post Russian girl" conversation this afternoon (Y'see, I had to drive the girl to LAX at 6 this morning; that's the reason she was in my place last night).

We're friends. I told Terry that's my first priority. I suspect as long as we're good friends I WILL hear from her when she moves.

And, finally, about the broken dish. We all have bad tempers sometimes. I had to let it out on something. It was MY dish, so I decided to do as I please.

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P.A. Berman
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Postby P.A. Berman » Tue Dec 06, 2005 7:14 pm

Rob, my assumption that there's gamesmanship going on here is not a wrong assumption. I don't think that's the sign of a salutary relationship, nor is it healthy to fixate on someone who has already rejected you outright. If you were friends, it wouldn't matter who emerged from your room at what hour, and you wouldn't have to consciously withdraw access to yourself for some desired effect. Is my point.

My embarrassment for you is for this thread, not for your behavior with Terry. It makes you look really horrendously pathetic and warped. Which we all are, but some of us have learned not to put it on display on the 'Net.

I know you're going to continue to argue with me and tell me that I didn't read you right or whatever. Fine. You'll proceed as you see fit. Knock yourself out. I tried to help out of some residual comradery from I don't know where. Best of luck to you. Who knows, maybe it'll work out great, further proving that I am a complete ignoramus on these matters. I hope so, for your sake, but still... stop posting about it now. It's really enough already.

Said, oddly enough, as a friend,
PAB
I don't know. I don't care. And it doesn't matter anyway. ~Jack Kerouac

DVG
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Postby DVG » Tue Dec 06, 2005 7:17 pm

Posting as a complete stranger, may I say that I agree entirely with P. A. B.

This relationship is clearly unstable and we've heard enough about her to think she's not really your type.

Get a siamese cat if you need something to condescend to you on a daily basis.

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Hathor
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Postby Hathor » Tue Dec 06, 2005 7:44 pm

RoboChrist:

Actually, when *I* say I admire someone (like Gorgeous in question. My inner Peter Lorre is going overtime: "YOU HAUNNT MY MIIIND!") I think its more of the two emotions of YES, GIVEN EVEN THE SLIGHTEST HINT, I WOULD CHASE HIS ASS AROUND THE ROOM, and trying to live with myself BECAUSE I WANT to chase his ass around the room. Although he's NO Asian Psycho-Bitch (DEFINITE PLUS) he is a little too young and too good for me.

My best bet is to invoke the Second proto/Star Trek prime directive and let him flourish at his best by leaving him the hell alone. (I wouldn't want to smear muddy finger-prints over Michaelangelo's David either.)

Then AGAIN, being the even-minded weirdo I am, I HAVE been shot down. (Ooooww!) So there's THAT creeping weasel fear, too.....

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robochrist
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Postby robochrist » Tue Dec 06, 2005 8:25 pm

Well, I never said I wasn't pathetic and warped.

Alright, look. Some of you need to get a couple of facts right. I can't "FORGET her" OUTRIGHT, because she's right the fuck here. She lives here. That's the ONLY "unhealthy" thing about this relationship. If we date, she'd only be able to see ME; the awkwardness would make it impossible for her to meet anyone else. After 5 years with one guy, I can understand how she wants to avoid the contraints.

But she comes to me to talk all the time. She's the one - not I - who continually goes on about how much we have in common. And even if time proves I'm wrong, I keep sensing she's making mental notes about me for - POSSIBLY - a later time when she's out of here.

So ALL I can do is be her friend; perhaps minimizing the time I spend with her so that I can knock it off with the obssessing...since the ONLY comment I agree with in the last few posts here is the fixation bit. It's extremely deteriorating.

In closing, I AM trying to divert my attention from her by talking to other women again.


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